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bydr.thomasGordonwithnoelBurch

TEACHERshouldknow

TEACHERwhatevery

howteacherscanbringoutthebestintheirstudents.

TEACHing THAT woRks And TEACHing THAT fAils

teachingisauniversalpursuit—everybodydoesit.Parentsteachtheirchildren,employersteachtheiremployees,coachesteachtheirplayers,wivesteachtheirhusbands(andviceversa),andofcourseprofessionalteachersteachtheirstudents.adultsspendanamazingamountoftimeteachingyoungpeople.someofthattimeisrichlyrewardingbecausehelpingkidsofwhateveragelearnnewskillsoracquirenewinsightsisajoyousexperience.itmakesonefeelgood,asaparent,ateacheroryouthleader,tocontributetothegrowthofachild,togivesomethingofoneselftoenrichthelifeofanotherhumanbeing.itisexhilaratingtowatchayoungpersontakefromateachingrelationshipsomethingnewthatwillexpandunderstandingoftheworld

oraddtohisorherrepertoireofskills.Butaseverybodyknows,teachingyoungpeoplecanalsobeterriblyfrustratingandfraughtwithdisappointment.alltoooften,parents,teachers,andyouthworkersdiscovertotheirdismaythattheirenthusiasticdesiretoteachsomethingworthwhiletoyoungpeoplesomehowfailstoengenderanenthusiasticdesireintheirstudentstolearnit.instead,theyencounterstubbornresistance,lowmotivation,shortattentionspans,inexplicabledisinterest,andoftenopenhostility.whenyoungpeople,seeminglywithoutreason,refusetolearnwhat adults are so unselfishly and altruisticallywillingtoteachthem,teachingisanythingbutexhilarating.infact, itcanbeamiserableexperienceleadingtofeelingsofinadequacy,hopelessness,sheerexasperation—and,toofrequently,deepresentmenttowardtheunwillingandungratefullearner.

whatmakesthedifferencebetweenteachingthatworksandteachingthatfails,teachingthatbringsrewardsandteachingthatcausespain?Certainly,many different factors influence the outcomeofone’seffortstoteachanother.Butonefactorcontributesthemost—namely,thedegreeofeffectivenessoftheteacherinestablishingaparticularkindofrelationshipwithstudents.

It is the quality of the teacher-learner relationship that is crucial. Morecrucial,infact,thanwhattheteacheristeaching,howtheteacherdoesit,orwhomtheteacheristryingtoteach.

whatteachersorparentsshouldbeteachingchildrenandyouth isanissuethatmustbelefttoothersfarmoreexperiencedindesigningcurricula,formulatingeducationalobjectives,andmakingvaluejudgmentsaboutwhatisimportantforyoungpeopletolearn—athomeandinschool.infact,opinionsonsuchmatterswillvaryfromhometohome,fromschooltoschool,andfromonetypeofcommunitytoanother.

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iftherelationshipisofahighquality,ateacherwillbeeffectiveinteachinganything—anykindofsubjectmatter,anycontent,anyskills,anyvalues

orbeliefs.history,math,literature,computerskillsorchemistry—allcanbemadeinterestingandexcitingtoyoungpeoplebyateacherwhohaslearnedhowtocreatearelationshipwithstudentsinwhichtheneedsoftheteacherarerespectedbythestudentsandtheneedsofthestudentsarerespectedbytheteacher.

Faceit:evenart,tennis,gymnastics,sculpture,orsexeducationcanbetaughtsothatstudentsarebored,turnedoffandstubbornlyresistanttolearning—iftheteacherfostersrelationshipsthatmakestudentsfeelputdown,distrusted,misunderstood,pushedaround,humiliated,orcriticallyevaluated.

inmostschoolsaveryhighpercentageoftimethatcouldbeteaching-learningtimeistakenupwithstudentproblemsthatteachersarerarelytrainedtohelpsolveorteacherproblemscreatedbyreactiveorrebelliousstudentswhomteacherscannotcontrol.

ourgoalistoofferteacherssomeskillstheycanusetoenlargetheteaching-learningtime.

CommuniCATion: THE link BETwEEn TEACHER And lEARnER

itisessentialtozeroinonthefactthatteachingandlearningarereallytwodifferentfunctions—twoseparateanddistinctprocesses.nottheleastofthemanydifferencesbetweenteachingandlearningisthattheprocessofteachingiscarriedoutbyonepersonwhiletheprocessoflearninggoesoninsideanother.obvious?ofcourse.Butworththinkingabout.Becauseifteaching-learningprocessesaretoworkeffectively,auniquekindofrelationshipmustexistbetweenthesetwoseparateorganisms—somekindofaconnection,link,orbridgebetweentheteacherandthelearner.ittakescommunicationskills forteacherstobecomeeffectiveinmakingthoseconnections,creatingthoselinks,andbuildingthosebridges.theseessentialcommunicationskillsactuallyarenotverycomplex—certainlynothardforanyteachertounderstand—althoughtheyrequirepracticelikeanyotherskill,suchassinging,skiing,writing,orplayingamusicalinstrument.nordothesecriticalcommunicationskillsplaceunusualdemandsonteacherstoabsorbvastamountsofknowledgeaboutthe“philosophyofeducation,”“instructionalmethodologies,”or“principlesofchilddevelopment.”onthecontrary,theseessentialskillsprimarilyinvolvetalking—somethingmostofusdoveryeasily.sincetalkcanbedestructivetohumanrelationshipsaswellasenhancing,talkcanseparatetheteacherfromstudentsormovethemclosertogether.again,obvious.Butagain,worthfurtherthought.Fortheparticulareffectthattalkproducesdependsonthequality ofthetalkand

ontheteacher’sselectionofthemost appropriate kind of talk fordifferentkindsofsituations.teachereffectivenessrequiresanadditionalsetofskills,anextrasensitivity,anextraaccomplishment—namely,theabilitytofostertwo-waycommunication.

TEsTEd skills, noT VAguE ABsTRACTions

hundredsofthousandsofteachersthroughouttheunitedstatesandinmanycountriesaroundtheworldhavelearnedthesecommunicationskillsandmethodsinourprogramcalledteachereffectivenesstraining(t.e.t.).thisprogramfocusesonpracticalthingsthatteacherscansayanddoeverydayintheclassroom,notonabstracteducationalconcepts.

experiencewithteachersint.e.t.classeshasmadeussomewhatcriticaloftheformaleducationofmostteachers;itseemstofamiliarizethemwithterms,ideas,andconceptswithoutprovidingthemwithpracticalwaystoputtheseabstractionstoworkintheclassroom.wearetalkingaboutsuchconceptsas“respectfortheneedsofstudents,”“affectiveeducation,”“classroomclimate,”“freedomtolearn,”“humanistic

“what makes the difference between

teaching that works and teaching that fails?...

it is the quality of the teacher-learner relationship

that is crucial.”

“if the relationshipis of a high quality, a

teacher will be effectivein teaching anything—

any kind of subject matter,any content, any skills,any values or beliefs.”

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education,”“theteacherasaresourceperson,”“two-waycommunication,”andthelike.

int.e.t.suchideasandconceptsaregiven operational definitions—they are defined in terms of specific operations,thingsteachersactuallycan do, specific messages they can communicate.

skills foR REsolVing ConfliCT

takeforexampleaconceptmostteachershaveheardoverandoveragainintheirtraining—“respectfortheneedsofthestudent.”yetmanyteachers don’t know what specific operationstheycanperformthatwouldshowrespectfortheneedsofstudents.itbecomeseminentlyclear,however,howtheycanmakethatconceptrealwhentheylearnaboutMethodiii,theno-loseMethodofresolving conflicts between teachers andstudents.Methodiiiisasix-stepprocess:teacherandstudentsproblem-solveuntiltheycomeupwithasolutionthatpermitstheteacher’sneedstobemet(respected)andthestudents’needstobemet(respected),too.Method III offers teachers a specific tooltheycanuseeverydayforinsuringthattheirstudents’needsarerespectedwithoutteacherspayingthepriceofhavingtheirownneedsfrustrated.int.e.t.,respectforstudents’needsbecomessomethingmorethananabstractionforteachers—theyactuallylearnhowtobringitoff.

thesameistruewiththeconceptof“democracyintheclassroom.”t.e.t.showsteacherstheskillsandproceduresrequiredtocreatealivingdemocracythroughtheclassroomrule-settingmeetingin

whichallmembersoftheclass,includingtheteacher,participateindeterminingtheruleseveryonewillbeexpectedtofollow.t.e.t.alsooffersteachersworkablealternativestothetraditionaluseofpowerandauthority(whichis,ofcourse,theantithesisofdemocraticrelationships).

Forexample,inmanyelementaryschoolclassroomsstudentsworkinsmallgroupsoronindividualprojectswhiletheteacherworkswithanothergrouporperson.inthecourseofgettingjobsdone,workcompleted,individuals and groups conflict with eachother.studentsworkingonanartprojectmaketoomuchnoiseforanothergrouptoconcentrateonareadingassignment.theteacherisdistractedbythemovementofstudentsastheygetmaterialsandbooksfromstorageareas.

teacherstrainedinMethodiiiseethesesituationsasopportunitiestoteachdemocraticliving,viewthemnotasstrifetobeavoided,butasproblemstobesolved.aMethodiiiscenariomightgosomethinglikethis:

Teacher: (loudly)heyclass!i

wouldlikeyoutostopwhateveryouaredoingrightnow.i’mhavingaproblemhearinginmygroupandinoticethatsomeofyouareyellingateachothertoquietdown.ican’tteachthewaythingsaregoingandiamguessingyou’regettingupsettoo.

danny: yeah!howcanwegetourreadingdonewhenthey(pointsattheartgroup)keeptalkingandmakingallthatnoise?

maria: well,whatarewesupposedtodo?ifwecan’ttalkabouttheprojecthowarewesupposed to finish it?

Julian: andlorikeepsbumping

intomydeskwhenshegetsthestuffoutofthesciencecupboard.

kyle: (toteacher)ihavetogoalmostrightthroughyourgrouptoshelvethelibrarybooks,thenyoustareatmelikeiwasdoingsomethingwrong.

Teacher: youfeelkindoftrapped,isthatitkyle?

kyle: yeah,andifidomyjobyouglareatme.

Teacher: well,itlookstomeasifourproblemisthatweareallgettingineachother’swaywithoutintendingto.itseemstomethatwemightrearrangetheroomorchangethingsaroundtokeepthatfrom

“in most schools, a very high percentage of time that could be teaching-

learning is taken up with student problems that teachers are rarely trained to help solve or

teacher problems created by reactive or rebellious students whom teachers

cannot control.”

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happening.doyouguyshaveanyideasaboutthat?

katie: well,theartgrouphastoworkbythesink,butwecouldputthoselibrarybooksbackhereontheseshelvesoryoucouldmoveyourgrouptothattableontheside.

Teresa: ...andwecouldmovethesciencestufftothatothersidewherenobodysits.it’stoohardtogetoutofhere(pointstopresentlocation)anyway.

Teacher:letmewritetheseideasdownontheboardsowedon’tforgetthemlater.

severalotherideasthenemergefromtheteacherandgroupabouthowtheycouldchangetheirclassroomenvironmenttoeliminatethemostpressingproblems.

Teacher:wow...wecameupwith

alotofideasforchange,didn’twe?arethereanyoftheseideasthatyoudon’tthinkwillwork?

A few are crossed off as conflicting withothersornotpractical.

Teacher:ilikealloftheseideasandi’mreadytotrythem.whataboutyouall?

Class: (agrees)

allofthetasksareassignedandtherearrangementproceedsimmediately.

Teacher: nowthatwehavechangedthingsaround,let’sseeifwecangetourworkdonewithoutallthetroublewehadbefore.ifweneedtowecanmakesomemorechanges.ithinkicandomyjobnowandifeelgoodaboutourproblem-solving.iappreciateyourcooperationandideas.

skills THAT HElpsTudEnTs gRow

student“growthanddevelopment”aregoalstowhichallschoolsandallteacherswholeheartedlysubscribe.yettheteachingmethodsusedbymostteachersandsanctionedbymostschooladministratorsallbutinsurethatstudentswillremaindependent.insteadoffosteringthegrowthofresponsibility, teachersandadministratorsdictateandcontrolstudentsofallagesasiftheywerenottobetrustedtotakeresponsibilityforthemselves.insteadofencouragingindependence,schoolsactuallyreinforcestudents’dependenceontheirteachers—fordeterminingwhattheyshouldlearn,howtheyshouldlearnit,whentheyshouldlearnit,and,ofcourse,howwelltheylearnit.it’snotthatteacherswantstudentswhoaredependent.it’smorethat

theyhavenotbeentaughttheskillsandmethodsbywhichapersoninhisorherrelationshipwithothers,canfosterself-direction,self-responsibility,self-determination,self-controlandself-evaluation.suchqualitiesarenotdevelopedaccidentally;theymustbenurturedanddeliberatelyfosteredbyparentsandteachers.

int.e.t.weshowwhatcanbedonetomakegrowthanddevelopmenthappen,ratherthanremainanemptyideal.Forexample,teacherscanlearnhowtouseactivelistening,acounselingskillthatwillgreatlyincreasetheireffectivenessinhelpingstudentswithproblemsthatinterferewithlearning.Butthishelpisgiveninawaythatenablesthe student to find his or her own solution, asopposedtobeinggivensolutionsorsuggestions—thetypicalwaymostteachersrespondtostudentproblems.whenstudentsareallowedtokeeptheresponsibilityforsolvingtheirproblems,theoutcomeisanincrementofgrowthtowardself-responsibility and self-confidence.inthefollowingmeetingbetweenastudentandherteacher,notehowtheteacherskillfullykeptresponsibilitywiththestudentbyusingactivelistening—awayofrespondinginwhichthelistenerfeedsback or “reflects back” messages ofthesender.theclasshadbeenstudyingterrorism,andthestudenthadbeengivenanassignmenttowriteathemeonanyaspectofit.

student: icameintoseeyoutogetyourideasaboutwhatishouldwriteaboutinmypaper.

Teacher:you’reuncertainaboutwhattopictochoose,isthatright?

“method iii offers teachers a specific tool

they can use every day for insuring that their students’ needs are respected without

teachers paying the price of having their own needs

frustrated.’

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student:yeah.i’vebeenstressedoutaboutthisfordays,butistillhaven’tcomeupwithanything.iknewyou’dhaveanidea.

Teacher:you’vereallystruggledwiththis,butnoprogressyet.

student:whathaveotherstudentswrittenonthatmadeareallygoodtheme?

Teacher:youwantatopicthatwouldmakeanexceptionallygoodtheme,right?

student: yeah.ijusthavetogetan“a”onthispapersothatigetan“a”inthecourse.

Teacher: itsoundslikeyou’refeelingsomestrongpressurestogetan“a”inthiscourse.

student:i’llsay!Myparentswouldreallybeupsetifididn’t.theyalwayswantmetodoaswellasmyoldersister.she’sreallyabrain.

teacher:youfeeltheyexpectyoutobejustasgoodasyoursisterinschool.

student: yeah.Buti’mnotlikeher.ihaveotherinterests.iwishmyparentswouldacceptmeforwhatiam—i’mdifferentfromrachel.allsheeverdoesisstudy.

Teacher: youfeelyou’readifferentkindofpersonthanyoursisterandyouwishyourparentsrecognizedthat.

student: youknow,i’venevertoldthemhowifeel.ithinkiwillnow.Maybethey’llstoppushingmesohardtobeastraight-astudent.

Teacher:you’rethinkingmaybeyoushouldtellthemhowyoufeel.

student: ican’tlose.andmaybeit’dhelp.

Teacher: everythingtogain,nothingtolose.

student: right.iftheystoppedpushingme,iwouldn’thavetoworrysomuchaboutmygrades.imightevenlearnmore.

Teacher: youmightgetevenmoreoutofschool.

student: yeah.thenicouldwriteapaperonsomethingi’minterestedin.thanksforhelpingmeout.

Teacher:anytime.

Byrefrainingfromgivingthistroubledstudentasolutiontoherproblem(suggestingatopicorgivingadvice),thisteacheremployedoneofthet.e.t.skills—activelistening.theresultwasthatthestudentgotdowntothedeeperproblem(parentalpressure)andeventuallycameupwithherownstrategyfortryingtosolveit.inthisbriefinteraction,theteachercontributedfar more significantly tothegrowthofthisstudentthanifshehadnotusedtheactivelisteningskill.

research—literallyvolumesofit—hasshownhowcriticallisteningisinfacilitatinglearning.hereagain,everyparentandteacher,withafewunfortunateexceptions,isbiologicallyequippedtolistenandwellpracticedintheactoflisteningtowhatkidscommunicate.theydoiteveryday.yetwhattheythinktheyhearisnotnecessarilywhatthelearneristryingtocommunicate.activelisteningisasimplemethodbywhichyoucancheckontheaccuracyofyourlisteningtomakesurethatwhatyouheariswhatthestudentreallymeant.atthesametime,itwillprovetothestudentthatyouhavenotonlyheardhimorherbuthaveunderstood.

skills THAT HElpsTudEnTs REspECTYouR RigHTs

Parenthetically,therearetimeswhenitisveryinappropriatetolistentokids.whenyouareteachingthemsomethingintheclassroomorathome and you find their behavior disruptiveorunacceptable,thehackneyedadvice,“Beagoodlistener,”shouldbeignored.atsuchtimesyoumustsendyourownstrongmessageinstead,confrontingthestudentswithhowtheyareinterferingwithyourrights.thereisa

way,however,foryoutosendsuchamessagewithlittleriskoftheirfeelingsquelched,putdown,orevendefensive.

“when students are allowed to keep

responsibility for solving their own problems, the outcome is an increment

of growth toward self-responsibility and self-

confidence.”

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theveryterm“confronting”oftenhasanegativeconnotationsinceitisusuallyassociatedwiththekindsofmessagesthat,insomeway,denigratethereceiver.inteachereffectivenesstrainingwecallthesemessagesyou-Messagessincetheyinvariablycontaininformationaboutthepersonbeingconfronted.teacherslearnawayoftalkingtostudentsthathasamuchgreaterprobabilityofgettingthemtochangetheobjectionablebehaviorandatthesametimepreserveorenhanceself-esteemwhilemaintainingahealthyrelationship.thesemessagesarecalledi-Messagesandcontaininformationabouttheteacher(sender)ratherthanthestudent(receiver).

herearetwosituationswithexamplesoftypicalyou-Messagesandthemoreeffectivei-Messages:

situation i: Johnandleoaretalkingloudlyenoughtointerrupttheteacher’sconcentration.

You-message: leo!youandJohnloweryourvoices!

i-message: leo,whenyouandJohntalkthatloudlyigetdistractedandlosemyconcentration.

situation ii: Monicaisrepeatedlylatetoclass.

You-message: atyourage,Monica,youshouldbeabletotakemoreresponsibilityforyourself.

i-message: whenyou’relatetoclassihavetostopwhatiamdoingandcorrecttheabsencereportandi’mgettingirritatedaboutit.

onE pHilosopHY foR All AgEs And TYpEs of sTudEnTs

Mostbooksaboutteachingimplythatdifferentskills,strategies,andmethodsarerequiredforeachofthevariousagesofstudents—asifadifferentpedagogywererequiredbyteachersforeachagebracket.teachingpreschoolers,itissaid,isverydifferentfromteachinghighschoolstudentsorsixthgraders,andsoon.whileitistruethatthevariousdevelopmentalstagesofchildrenmustbetakenintoconsiderationindeterminingmaterialsandeducationalexperiences,thebasichumanrelationshipbetweenteacherandstudentremainsthesame.

theskillsandmethodsint.e.t.areequallyusefulandapplicableforeffectiveteachingofstudentsofallages,uptoandincludingcollegestudents.teachersneednotlearnonesetofskillsforpreschoolers,anotherforelementarystudents,anotherforstudentsinjuniorhighschool,etc.

ourphilosophyisthatstudentsofwhateveragearehumanbeings,andwiththeirteacherstheywilldevelophumanrelationships,goodorbad,dependingonhowtheyaretreatedbytheirteachers.

similarly,wefeelfartoomuchemphasishasbeenplacedonotherdifferencesamongstudents—theircolor,theirethnicorigins,theiriQs,theirabilities,andthesocialandeconomicstatusoftheirfamilies.thisuniversalpracticeofclassifying,testing,evaluating,labeling,andstereotypingstudentsseemsnotonlyunnecessarybutharmful.ithasbroughtintoschoolsawayofthinkingaboutstudentsnotunlikethewaymanyphysiciansviewtheirpatients—e.g.,myallergypatient,myheartproblem,myulcerpatient.toooftenschoolsseetheirstudentsnotaspersonsbutasfacelesscases:underachievers,gifted,culturallydeprived,economicallyhandicapped,highorlowiQ,hyperactive,emotionallydisturbed,highorlowpotential,andsoon.theharmfuleffectsofsuchdiagnosingandsubsequentgroupingofstudentshasbeenproveninanumberofresearchstudies.theseclearlydemonstratethatsuchgroupingsnotonlylowerstudents’self-conceptsbutalsobiasteachers’expectationsandhencelowerthequalityofinstruction.

actually,therearefarmoresimilaritiesthandifferencesamongstudents. All are human beings, first ofall.allhavehumancharacteristics,humanfeelings,humanresponses.teachereffectivenesscanthereforebebasedonageneraltheoryofhumanrelationships.allkidsgetturnedonwhentheyarereallylearning,andgetboredwhentheyarenot.allstudentsfeeldiscouragedwhentheyareputdowniftheyhavedonepoorlyorhavefailed.allkidsdevelopself-defeatingcopingmechanismstodealwithteachers’useofpower.allkidshaveatendencytowanttobedependent,yetstruggledesperatelyforautonomy;allkidsgetangryandretaliative;allkidsdevelopself-esteemwhentheyachieveandloseitwhentheyaretoldtheydon’t

“Teachers learn a way of talking to students that has a high probability

of getting them to change objectionable behavior and at the same time preserve

their self-esteem while maintaining a healthy

relationship.”

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achieveenough;allkidsvaluetheirneedsandprotecttheircivilrights.

theskillsandmethodsint.e.t.aredesignedforthishomogeneityofstudents. This is why teachers find t.e.t.asusefulforachildlabeled“academicallychallenged”asforonelabeled“gifted,”forastudentfromalow-incomefamilyasforaonefromawealthyfamily,foranafricanamericanstudentaswellasaCaucasianstudent.theactivelisteningskill,forexample,willworkwonderswithallkindsofkidsbecauseallkindsofkidsneedtobeheard,understood,accepted.thei-Messagetechniqueforconfrontingstudentswhoareinterferingwiththeteacher(orotherstudents)willgreatlyreducethedefensivenessofallkindsofstudents,becauseallstudentsdefendthemselveswhenattackedandputdown.

wHAT To do ABouT THE disCiplinE pRoBlEm

noquestionaboutit,theissueofdisciplineisonethateveryteacherhastoface.

Mostnewteachershopetheyneverwillhavetodiscipline,becausetheyarecertainthatasteacherstheyaregoingtobesocompetentandstimulatingthattheneedfordisciplinewillseldomarise.Mostexperiencedteachershavelearnedthatwhiletheymustdiscipline,theyactually find itodious,aswellasinadequate.theywanttoteach,notdiscipline.asteachers,theywantthesupremesatisfactionofseeingtheirlearnerslearn.whatgoeswrong?whydosomanyteachersspendsomuchoftheirteachingtimetryingtomaintaindisciplineintheclassroom?ouransweristhatteachers,byand

largerelytooheavilyonthreatsofpunishment,onactualpunishment,oronverbalshamingandblaming.thesemethodssimplydonotworkwell.repressive,power-basedmethodsusuallyprovokeresistance,rebellion,retaliation.evenwhentheydobringaboutachangeinastudent’sbehavior,theoldbehavioroftenrecurstheminutetheteacherleavestheroomorgoestotheboard.

int.e.t.,teacherslearnalternativestopowerandauthority—methodsthatactually give them more influence, not less.theylearnhowtoconducttherule-settingmeetinginwhichtheyinvolveallthestudentsinsettingtheclassrulesandregulations.oneresultofsuchmeetingsisthatstudentsaremuchmoremotivatedtofollowtherulesbecausetheyseethemastheirrules,notjusttheteacher’s.anotherbenefit from these rule-setting meetingsisthatteachersspendlesstimehavingtoactasenforcersofrules.

whenteachersbecomeskilledinusingnon-powermethodstoachievedisciplineandorder,theyfind themselvesusingawholenewlanguageintalkingaboutdiscipline.thetraditionallanguageofpowerisreplacedbythelanguageofnon-power.teachersreportagradualreductionintheiruseofsuchtermsascontrol,direct,punish,threaten,settinglimits,policing,enforcing,layingdownthelaw,beingtough,reprimanding,scolding,ordering,demanding,andsoon.eventheterm“discipline”tendstodropoutoftheirvocabulary.inplaceofsuchterms,teachersbeginusinganewvocabulary—e.g.,problem solving, conflict resolution, influencing, confronting, collaboration, cooperation,jointdecisionmaking,workingoutcontractswithstudents,

obtainingmutualagreements,negotiating,meetingneeds,workingthingsout.

whenteachersforegousingpowerandauthority,theyceaseusingthelanguagerequiredtoadministertheold,ineffectivetypeofdiscipline.theybegintousethewordsandtermsoftheirotherrelationships,wherenon-powermethodsareabsolutelynecessarytomakethoserelationshipsmutuallysatisfying,e.g.,thehusband-wife,friend-friend,colleague-colleaguerelationships.whatteacherswouldeverspeakof“disciplining”theirspousesorfriends?intheirmarriagesorfriendships,rarelywouldteacherseventhink,letalonespeak,insuchtermsasgivingorders,commanding,reprimanding,punishing,settinglimits,makingrules.thereasonisobvious:teachersknowthatpowerandauthorityinevitablydestroythoserelationships.Powerandauthoritywilljustassurelydestroyteachers’relationshipswithstudents.

How To REsolVE THE AuTHoRiTARiAn-pERmissiVE ConTRoVERsY

asmostparentsandteachersknow,acontroversyhasbeenragingforyearsinschooldistrictsineverypartofthecountryoverwhetherschoolsshouldbestrictorlenient,traditionalorprogressive,student-centeredorteacher-centered,conservativeorliberal,authoritarianorpermissive.thispervasivecontroversyneverseemstogetresolved;itconstantlyemergesasafundamentalissuethatpolarizesparents,teachers,administrators,andthemedia.schoolboard members run for office on platformsthatproclaimeithertheirconservativeortheirliberalstancetowardschools.Candidatesforstatesuperintendentareoftenstereotyped

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as right-wing or liberal. Parents fight inP.t.a.meetingsoverwhethertheschoolsaretoopermissiveortoostrict.administratorsadmitbeingharassedbyparentswhofeeltheyaretooprogressiveaswellasbyparentswhoareascertaintheyaretooconservative.Bondissuesarewonorlostovertheissueofwhethertheschoolsystemistoofarrightortoofarleftofthemajorityvaluesofthecommunity—particularlywhenitcomesto“authorityversusfreedom”indealingwithstudents.t.e.t.cutsthroughthiscontroversy.itexposesbothofthetwopolarpositionsasdestructivephilosophies,notonlyindealingwithyoungpeopleinschoolsbutinallhumanrelationships.Bothpostures,underwhateverlabel,are“win-lose”approachesandpower-basedphilosophies.thosewhoadvocatestrictness,strongauthorityandregimentationwantadultstodirectandcontrolstudentsbyusingthepowerandauthoritythatadultspossess.thosewhoadvocatepermissivenessandfreedomforkidsintheschoolsunwittinglyareoptingforconditionsinwhichstudentsarepermittedtousetheirpowerandmakelifemiserablefortheirteachersandadministrators.whicheveroneoftheseschoolsofthoughtprevails,somebodyisboundtolose.

t.e.t.presentsanalternativetothetwowin-losephilosophies.teacherslearnhowtoestablishandmaintainrulesandorderintheclassroomwithout using their power. teacherswillalsolearnabouttheinevitablepricetheyhavetopayforbeingeitherpermissiveorstrict—student-centeredorteacher-centered.itisourhopethatthisno-loseMethod,which replaces conflicts in the classroomwithcooperationandmutual respect, will finally help to

endthisunproductivecontroversythathasneedlesslykeptparentsandschoolpeopleateachother’sthroatsforoverahalfcentury.

Building BETTER RElATionsHips

letussayitagain:whatgoesonbetweenteachersandstudentswillbedeterminedmorebythequalityoftheirrelationshipsthanbyanyotherfactor.

thechallengeforteachersistoimprovethequalityoftheserelationshipsinordertobringoutthebestintheyoungpeopletheyteach.