How To Be a Bully Free School

By: Susan Delahunt, LMHC and Priscilla Picardi-Haswell, LICSW, School Adjustment Counselors

Waltham Public Schools

What is Bullying

• What is the definition of a bully?

• Where does it happen?

• Who bullies?• How do kids bully?

What is Bullying/Relational Aggression?

• Definition:

Bullying is the act of intentionally causing harm to others, through verbal or physical threats, or manipulating relationships.

Bullying is not done in fun. It is mean-spirited and cruel and it’s meant to hurt.

Bullying is Not a One Time Event

• Bullying is repeated acts of verbal or physical threats.

• Bullying is repeated acts of excluding, ignoring, non-verbal aggression.

• Bullying is repeated acts of using the internet, texting, cell phones, etc to hurt someone’s feelings.

Three types of bullying

• Physical bullying

• Verbal bullying

• Relational bullying

Methods of Bullying

• Excluding

• Ignoring

• Spreading rumors

• Verbal insults

• Teasing

• Eye rolling

• Faking friendship

• 3 way calling, IMing

Where Does Bullying Happen?

• It can happen anywhere in school but happens most often in:

• Recess• Hallways• Bathrooms• School buses• Changing classes• Cafeteria• During class group work

Rumors/Gossip

• What are rumors?• Why do kids spread

rumors?• What is powerful

about rumors?• What is hurtful about

rumors?• How can you stop

rumors?

Who’s A Bully?

• Bullies come in all shapes and sizes

• Some get in trouble

• Some are popular kids with lots of friends

• They are good students

Why do bullies bully?Bullies feel insecure or bad about themselves, so they bully to make

themselves feel better.

Causes are:• Problems at home or school• Role models who bully and get what they want by pushing others

around• The person may be a target of bullying • Never learned another way to behave• Exposure to violence in movies, TV and video games.• Wanting to belong

Cyberbullying

• Using the Internet or other mobile devices to send or post harmful or cruel text or images to bully others.

• IM’s, chat rooms, web pages,blogs,emails, texts or digital imaging sent on cell phones

Cyberbullying Facts

• 18% of students in grades 6-8 report having been cyber-bullied

• 58% of cyber bullying is done through IM

• 28% is done in chat rooms

• 20% of bullying is done through websites

• Girls are twice as likely as boys to be victims and perpetrators of cyber-bullying

AIM,Facebook, My Space,etc

• Some words of caution

How Can We Stop It?

Are you a bully?

• Does it make you feel better to hurt other people or take their things?

• Do you sometimes use your size and strength to get your way?

• Do you feel like you have to make up for having been bullied by doing the same to others?

• Do you avoid thinking about how other people might feel if you say or do hurtful things to them?

How can you stop being a bully?

• Apologize to people you’ve bullied and follow-up by being friendly towards them.

• If your having a hard time feeling good about yourself, find ways to boost your self-esteem.

• If you feel like you’re having trouble controlling you feelings, especially anger, talk to an adult you trust.

What Can I Do to Stop Bullying?

• Refuse to be an audience for a bully

• Do not “follow the crowd”

• Do not laugh while someone is being picked on

• Do not participate in gossip

• Do not use the internet to hurt someone

• Walk away and go get help

• Know your own personal strength

Who is a target?

• Research shows that about 25% ( 1 out of 4 kids) of children experience bullying

• Kids who tend to be physically different

• Kids with disabilities

• Kids who upset easily

• Kids who don’t have a lot of friends

• Kids who lack self confidence or look like they don’t have self confidence

If You Are a Target:

• Ignore the bully• Pretend you don’t

hear him/her• Don’t cry, get angry or

show you are upset.• Respond firmly.• If you can, turn a

comment into a joke.• Remove yourself from

the situation.

Do Not Be the Messenger

• Do not deliver messages from one person to another

• Do not be the “go-between” between two people in an argument

Reminder:

• If you are ever threatened with physical violence, get adult help immediately.

How Bystanders Can Help

• Walk away • Don’t give attention to

the bully• Privately tell the

person who was bullied you are sorry it happened.

• Ask the bully to stop.• Get adult help.

Hallway Heroes

• Statistics show that if just one person asks the bully to stop, they will stop 50% of the time.

Why Tell?

• Without cooperation between kids and grown-ups bullying can become a big problem that doesn’t get better.

Why Tell?

• Adults can often confront the bully without naming you.

Why Tell?

• Adults and kids working together is the best way to stop bullying.

• Remember, you are reporting a dangerous act. You are not “tattling.”

REMEMBER:

• NO ONE DESERVES TO BE TREATED BADLY.

• NO ONE.

VIDEO

• Courtesy of The Spirit Desk

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• Music by: Simple Plan, “Welcome to My Life” Courtesy of Atlantic Records

RESOURCES

• The statistics in this presentation come from the “Mean Girls” workbook published by Youthlight, Inc.

• The Waltham Public Schools Website offers many websites for parents and children on bullying. One for children is: “Kids Against Bullying” from the National Center for Bullying Prevention.