HOW TO HAVE PRODUCTIVE CONFLICTS

When everybody thinks alike, nobody thinks very much

Conflict is inevitable, but combat is optional. – Max Lucade

How to create conflict

Make the disagreement an issue about the personalities involved rather than about the issues to be resolved.

Ensure that you attribute negative motives to the other person.

Build a coalition of people who are on your side.

Go into the situation with a “win-lose” approach.

Begin the discussion by being the first person to state your position

Use aggressive body language and non-verbal behaviour

Use aggressive, accusatory or dismissive language in speaking to the other person

Tell the other person how s/he thinks or feels:

Uncover the other person’s “real” motivation so that they will know they can’t trick or fool you.

Don’t admit to any errors or problems on your side.

Always begin with the worst case scenario.

Assume that the other person is going to take every opportunity to take advantage of you and your good nature.

Dismiss the other person’s data as irrelevant.

Substitute emotion and passion for logic and reason.

Bully and threaten the other person.

Lie, withhold relevant information, and misrepresent facts.

Assume that the other person is as self-interested as you are and must be coerced into being reasonable

Define “reasonable” as being whatever position you take.

Tell everyone else how unreasonable the other person is.

Begin with a rant about how unreasonable (dishonest, despicable, awful etc.) the other person is.

Act like a victim, and engage in passive aggressive behaviour.

When the conflict has been (temporarily) resolved, tell everyone how smart you were and how you put one over on the other person.