how to find your dream job

RON NASHRON NASHTRADE SECRETS OF A HEADHUNTER 12

Foreword by Steve Linder,

founder of SRI Coaching

© Copyright 2008 by Ron Nash. The Friend Zone is a registered trademark of The Nash Group, LLC.

1st printing 2008United States of America

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be produced in any form or by any means without the prior written permission of the Publisher, excepting

brief quotes used in connection with the reviews, written specifically for inclusion in a magazine or newspaper.

Design by Lindy Bostrom, Bostrom Graphics www.bostromgraphics.com

EditorsChuck Brown

Michelle MatisseMeredith Wade

Web ExpertiseCharlie Griffin—Web Expert

www.webexpert.us

Video ExpertiseBob Laws

ISBN 978-0-557-02826-9Printed in the USA

http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-nd/3.0/

http://www.bostromgraphics.com

http://www.webexpert.us

http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-nd/3.0/

Dedicated to:

Big Ron“If I don’t see you no more in this world, I’ll meet you in

the next one and don’t be late”– Jimi Hendrix; Voodoo Child (Slight Return)

What People are Saying

“Ron’s Friend Zone techniques were right on the money when it came to finding the job of my desires and closing the deal. Ron was able to translate my needs and the needs of the hiring company into a workable solution that benefited both parties. His creativity landed the deal; his techniques for the interaction between the parties closed the deal.” — Dr. P. Landesman, Allergan, Inc.

“My understanding and employment of the ‘secrets’ disclosed in this book have caused my business to soar! With the Friend Zone approach, there are new possibilities that have come my way that I never even knew existed. I highly recommend this book to anyone interested in taking their careers—and lives—to the next level!” — L. Bostrom, Bostrom Graphics

“Ron’s coaching and communication style has sent me on the journey of a lifetime to discover my dream job. Through the ups and downs of the entire process he instilled the courage and passion needed to uncover what was buried deep and even hidden in my heart. Everyone at ANY age should take the time to experience Ron’s process for forging their own career path that will ensure a lifetime of joy and fulfillment.” — Susan Whalen, Assistant to Cesar Millan

“Ron is consistently in touch with the business world around him and always able to advise and guide his clients to become more successful. Ron brings a personal touch to his business, making his clients feel confident and relaxed in his abilities. He is willing to take calculated risks and create new opportunities to grow his business and his life.” — E. Ostrowski, Principal Engineer; Cardinal Health

“Ron is outstanding to work with, a master negotiator and creative opportunity strategist. Ron finds a way to add tremendous value in everything he does.” — M. Millen, VP of Sales, Anthony Robbins Companies

“Ron is a recruiting management visionary. He has perfected the methodologies of working smarter rather than harder. He has many full-cycle recruitment techniques, which when applied can make your job search easy and successful. I’m a walking, talking example of how successful his Friend Zone techniques really are. He has a track record of providing outstanding service to clients and candidates.” — J. Schut, Executive Recruiter, Newport Search

CONTENTS (Click on titles to link to pages)

Acknowledgments . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .I

Foreword . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .V

Introduction . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . XI

PART 1: THE FOUNDATION

Day 1 The Secret of a Compelling Vision . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 3

Day 2 The Secret of Understanding Yourself . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 7

Day 3 The Secret of Language: Internal and External Dialogue . . . . . . 27

Day 4 The Secret of The Law of Attraction . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 35

Day 5 The Secret of a Dream Job Board . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 45

Day 6 The Secret of Goal Setting . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 55

PART 2: THE TRADE SECRETS

Day 7 The Secret of Resourcefulness; The Power of Social Networking . . 59

Day 8 The Secret of an Enticing Resume . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 71

Day 9 The Secret of Clarity and Process . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 79

Day 10 The Secret to Phone Interviewing . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 85

Day 11 The Secret of Interviewing in Person . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 91

Day 12 The Secret to Closing the Deal (The Offer) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 103

Conclusion . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 114

Exercise Addendum . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 116

Additional Resources . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 130

Final Note . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 134

About the Author . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 135

i

Acknowledgments

There are so many people I’d like to thank for their love and support .

I’d like to send many thanks out to my wife . Michelle has been a con-

stant inspiration to me over the last many years . Thanks to my patient kids,

Élan and Sunnaya, who understand that when dad works too much, it is

their responsibility to disrupt him so that he can remember that playing is

also important! To my mother who has always reminded me that, “The race

is not given to the swift, but those who endure .” To Mr . John Bancroft who

has been a mentor and an angel to me in so many ways . To Mr . Steve Linder

of SRI coaching (TheStrategyGuy .com,) who is a Master Neuro-Strategist .

To my friend and “bro” Gene McNaughton for always believing in me . To

Lindy Bostrom of Bostrom Graphics (Bostromgraphics .com) who always

has my back (love you my friend!) To Mike McElroy (Videowantads .com)

thank you so much for the shark analogy: I am only focused on dry land

as opposed to the shark behind me . To Charlie Griffin, our “web expert”

(www .webexpert .us,) you are the best! To Bob Laws for his undying video

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expertise . To my buddy for life, Ken Hamilton of Total Tech (1totaltech .

com,) for taking the torch and running with it! To Mr . Chuck Brown, my

editor and savior who is a groovy, talented musician as well . To my brother

Gene-O who always gets the job done . To Mike (Curly) Bannan . To Mike

Mitchell, his left brain/right brain introduction has done wonders for me .

To Matt Carpenter for his contribution on interviewing . To all of my friends

who have allowed me to coach them into the jobs of their dreams! I’d like to

thank you, the reader, for taking time to order my book . It is my hope that

you thoroughly enjoy the information that I share with you and apply the

techniques and exercises to attract the job of your dreams in any economy .

Thanks to God for the wonderful gift of serendipity—may it be your guide

in this amazing journey through our dreams!

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• “The winds of greatness are always blowing;

it is you who must raise the sail.”—Nor Shan

iv v

Important note from the author: Finding a job will be one of the most challenging journeys most people will

take, however finding your dream job will be one of the most rewarding journeys if you take it.

This book is a journey about discovering who you really are,because your greatest resource is you.

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FOREWORD

Welcome to The Friend Zone . Consider that with the millions of books

around the world, this one, this very book, is now in your hands .

Reader, it’s in your hands for a reason, at this very moment in time, at this very

moment in your life, and fortunately, at this very moment in your career .

Consider this a gift from the universe . The true question is, what will you do

with this valuable gift? Will you simply put it down and choose to become like

the average person who lets life lead them along or will you choose to accept the

gift of insight and foresight—and choose to lead your life by design?

If you are reading this, you’ve already accepted the gift . Now what exactly

is the gift you’ve just accepted? Many people want money as a gift—they may

end up financially rich yet emotionally impoverished . Many people want the

gift of a hand out—yet they will become dependent . Many people want the

gift of things to be done for them—yet they will never be self-sufficient, let

alone learn how to empower others .

The gift you now hold in your hands is the gift of true insight and should

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be devoured by your eyes, mind, and soul . Again, consider this a gift from

the universe . Thousands of people have created this gift for you . Through

their triumphs and tribulations, they have spent years giving you all of the

thousands of elements of this gift .

The universe has also selected the ultimate gift giver—Ron Nash, author of

this book . You’ll find Ron Nash’s approaches and strategies extremely insight-

ful . These insights are not just from Ron’s decades of matching an individual’s

unique gifts with the needs of an organization, but his true understanding of

how and why we do what we do .

Like Ron, I spent years working my way up from sleeping on a floor after

being fired from Sizzler Restaurant because I wasn’t Salad Bar Team-Lead

material, to officer positions with companies like Charles Schwab, Mont-

gomery Securities, Nations Bank, Bank of America, and E*TRADE . Everyone

around me and in the media was so impressed with how I could accomplish

all of this by the time I was 25 years old—heck, I was even stunned by it . Now,

years later, I look back at the strategies I used—many of which were learned

not through a formal education, but from learning experiences in life .

I failed many times . I had strategies that simply did not work . One

year I had eight jobs and my only big accomplishment was that I had eight

W-2 tax stubs while everyone else had just one . Luckily, I was able to learn

from those experiences . I learned to transform those failures into learnings .

Expressing these lessons at times was difficult because I could only see

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from my perspective—not both sides as Ron will share with you .

As I grew into management and leadership roles, I began to recognize the

strategies I was running that led to my past failures . I learned what worked

and what didn’t work . I also began to model those who had achieved what I

wanted . I didn’t know exactly how they did it at the time, but I knew they had

a magical set of “keys .”

In this book, you will find the magical keys to finding a career of your

dreams . Ron has taken decades of experience as one of the top recruiters in

the field and compressed his knowledge into 12 days of learning . His strate-

gies are truly actionable . He urges you to implement them immediately . In

looking back at my own career, I can see how, had I owned this book, it would

not have just accelerated my career ten-fold, but it also would have added

even more fulfillment into my life .

Ron’s passion exudes from every page . If you’ve ever had the opportunity

to hear him speak from the stage, his electrifying persona kicks you in the

*#@*! to step up and implement each of his strategies . What truly sets Ron

apart, however, is his caring heart . As the reader, you feel his sincerity and

warmth . You might think it would be difficult to get excited about a book on

employment, but this is NOT a book about employment—it’s a book about

fulfillment . Get excited about that!

You will not only learn how to attract a job, but also how to live your life’s

purpose in a way that rewards you emotionally and financially . This is not a

viii ix

pump-you-up, feel-good book . This is a book about tapping into your per-

sonal power, and tapping into the needs of companies and organizations that

need your gifts . You will also find that this book is a form of protection for the

most important thing in the world—your life .

What do I mean by protection for your life? Simple . Look at all of the

people in rush-hour traffic . Count how many are actually smiling in their

cars . You’d be hard pressed to find one in ten . Why? Because they are going

to work . They are exchanging their lives for money—always a losing trade .

They have essentially sold out to the dollar (or whatever your currency is .)

They are stuck in jobs that they either don’t like or that don’t like them . They

feel they have no choice . They’ve lost sight of their gifts (which are always

there, just not explored .) They have given up on fulfillment, let alone actually

getting paid for living a daily life of fulfillment . They have focused on what

they wanted to avoid—and attracted it . You wouldn’t happen to know any-

one like that…would you?

They (eh-hem, you?) took the best job with the resources they had at the

time . They forgot how to dream . They weren’t exposed to the latest in per-

sonal development/fulfillment psychology . They didn’t have a coach . They

didn’t have someone who truly cared about them . They didn’t have someone

with over a decade of experience in matching personal fulfillment with com-

panies that need positions (full-)filled . They didn’t have what you now have in

your hands! They didn’t have Ron’s caring, insights, years of experience, and

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actionable strategies .

Having this book is not enough to be fulfilled . Reading this book is not

enough to be fulfilled . Using what you learn here is almost enough . Realizing

your gifts, the value you add to the world is more than enough—it is the art

of fulfillment .

Allow Ron to help you experience the art of fulfillment and reap the re-

wards of finding the career of your dreams . Welcome to The Friend Zone!

To your success and fulfillment,

—Steve Linder

SRICoaching•TheStrategyGuy.com

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INTRODUCTION

Ever since I can remember, I wanted to be a rock star . At the age of four

I can remember asking my parents for the toy drums I saw in a cata-

log for Christmas and getting them . I was so excited to get the drums that

I banged on them everyday from sun up to sun down for several weeks . I

actually played them so much that my oldest brother Michael decided he had

heard enough drumming and proceeded to put his foot through the drums,

which were made of heavy-duty paper . That was the end of my drumming

career for a few years . I eventually got a new set of real drums, but finally

became attracted to the guitar, which is still my primary instrument . My

dreams of rock stardom are still very alive in my heart . I truly believe that

we can imagine and attract any circumstance that we desire, including our

dream job or career . The Law of Attraction is a major part of this feat, which

I will talk more about later .

My first memory of consciously using the Law of Attraction was when I was

ten years old growing up in San Francisco in the “hood .” I asked my parents to

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buy a guitar for me and their response was that I wouldn’t stick with it, and a

guitar was too expensive . At that time, I could have given up on my dreams

and not pursued getting the guitar, which would have had lasting implica-

tions on my life going forward . Fortunately I was a motivated dreamer, so I

decided to find another way .

Back in those days we had something called trading stamps and redemp-

tion centers . If you know what these were, you are showing your age! Trad-

ing stamps were like postage stamps, but used like coupons that could be

redeemed for merchandise—i .e ., washers, dryers, household appliances, and

guitars! They came in green or blue colors and were given out at gas stations,

grocery stores—virtually any place you could spend money . The amount of

money you spent would yield a certain number of trading stamps that could

be redeemed at centers all over the United States . As serendipity would have

it, the redemption center had a guitar and amplifier combination in their

catalog the same month I decided that I wanted a guitar .

I was so excited that I literally slept with the catalog and looked at it every

day . I spent most of my waking state imagining what it would be like to play

my new guitar . I was so diligent in collecting the stamps that every time I

went to the store or gas station with anyone, I would ask if I could have trad-

ing stamps . Fortunately, many people enjoyed seeing my youthful vigor and

supported me by giving me their trading stamps . It took about 3 months to

collect several thousand stamps, which was the amount necessary to get the

xii xiii

guitar and amplifier . This was a monumental achievement for a ten year old!

The feeling of standing at the redemption center knowing I was getting

the guitar and amp of my dreams was priceless, but more importantly, I

learned that I could imagine anything I wanted, and with action and clarity,

achieve my dreams . This lesson has been a major part of my belief system

ever since .

I applied the Law of Attraction later in life as well . In 1998, I had worked

for a recruiting company for three and a half years and had made them and

myself quite a bit of money . However, my entrepreneurial spirit was getting

restless and I was longing to be my own boss again . In addition, my wife was

pregnant with our first child . Our beautiful daughter, Sunnaya, was born in

January, 1999 . I took some time off from work to enjoy being a new father,

and we also traveled to Europe for a while to visit with my wife’s extended

family . By the time we got back I had made the decision to be my own boss

again and not to work for a company anymore . It was perhaps not the most

opportune time to make such a decision, since my wife had stayed home with

the baby, and we had depleted most of our savings . My wife and I went into

a furious dream-mapping session outlining my new career . We mapped out

everything about it: what I was going to be doing, how much money I was

going to earn, the fact that I would work for myself, how I was going to feel

about my work, what types of clients I was going to have, how happy I was

going to be! I lived every day passionately with these images as though they

xiv xv

were real (this is extremely important .)

Building one’s business does not happen overnight . After about three

months, no deal had closed . I was ready to give up and return to the company

I had worked for . At that time my wife’s encouragement and belief in me and

our vision together bridged the gap to having a successful business . She went

back to work to support us and I also had to ask my parents for a loan to keep

us going . It was the first time that I ever had to reach out to my parents for

money in my adult life and I was quite humbled . I was used to giving and not

receiving . I promised my parents that I would repay their loan by the end of

the month . I had no idea how I was going to do this, but I believed that I was

able to attract everything necessary to accomplish my goals .

In addition, my wife and I decided to buy our first home . We had no clue

how we would accomplish this either . We started to describe in great detail

the home that we wanted to live in, how it would feel to live there, how bright

it was, how many bedrooms it had, how many bathrooms it had, how many

square feet it was, the way the yard looked, the amount of light that came into

the windows, the neighborhood, and the school our daughter would attend .

We wrote down everything we could imagine which made the picture real in

our minds . We also took extensive trips all over southern California looking

for our dream home .

The amazing part of this story is that after I decided to not give up on my

dream of running my own business, everything started to improve . I got my

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first new clients and deals started to close . I was able to pay my parents back

as promised, and it only took six months before my wife and I built the house

of our dreams and were able to buy it .

I tell you these stories not to impress you, but to impress upon you that

we all have the ability to imagine anything we desire and materialize it . It is

likely that there will be a period of time in your life when all things seem to

fail and you want to give up . These are the times that will test your faith and

also make you stronger . Keep pressing forward and do not give up . There is

a great quote by William Feather: “Success seems to be largely a matter of

hanging on after others have let go .” It also helps to surround yourself with

people who believe in you and have your back . I was fortunate to have my

wife, my parents, and several good friends who supported me in my greater

vision and who encouraged me when I felt like I might not make it .

This brings us to now . I’ve had my own business and have been a success-

ful executive coach and headhunter for 15 years . I have also used the Law of

Attraction techniques in recruiting, and as a result, I’ve been one of the more

successful headhunters in my industry . I decided it was time to share my

experience in the form of a book and to create a user friendly Website

(www .TheFriendZone .tv) which would allow me to assist and coach even

more people to find their dream jobs or careers .

I’ve had the pleasure of working with Fortune 500 companies such as Mi-

crosoft, Cardinal Health, Allergan, Baxter, Tyco Healthcare, The Anthony

How to Find Your Dream Job—Even in a Recession

xvi

Robbins Companies, as well as various venture capital companies and a va-

riety of smaller startups . The one thing that all of these companies have in

common is their need for human assets—in other words they have to hire the

right people . The challenge that job seekers face is in finding the right compa-

ny to match their internal visions . Many times we know what we don’t want,

but aren’t clear on what we do want, which is why visualization is a must .

I am extremely confident that when you take advantage of the information

in these pages and on my Website you will not only learn to attract the job

and career of your dreams, but you will also enhance the quality of your life .

The only thing I ask is that when you start the 12-day workshop, you commit

to completing the entire program . Do it with an open mind and the expecta-

tion of finding your dream job .

The only other thing you’ll need is a fresh journal which I’d like you to call

“My Dream Job Journal .” I’ve included one as part of the curriculum in the

e-book series . You can also buy a printed one online at our store . The journal

will be helpful in doing the exercises and tracking your progress .


xvi xvii

Don’t Lose Your Marbles!

Many people leave their dreams behind when they enter “reality .”

Some will choose to work in corporate America, some will start

families, and others will choose different paths . The thing I would like to

encourage you to do regardless of your choice of paths, is to remember your

dreams, stay close to your passions, and don’t let them get so far away that

you forget them . According to the story Peter Pan, when Uncle lost his mar-

bles, he no longer remembered who he was—so don’t lose your marbles!

Creating your dream job is not only about finding a job or career you love,

it’s about being clear on what you want out of life and doing it . One of the

many challenges that people face in pursuit of their dream job/career is lack

of clarity . Without clarity, there is no compelling vision, without a compel-

ling vision, there is no purpose, and without purpose there is no passion . I

encourage you to live with a compelling vision until the day that you die . This

is truly one of the secrets to living a fulfilling life .

Additionally, I am reaching out to the people who have dedicated them-

selves to being out of the work force so that they could help raise their fami-

lies . Thank you for your unselfish love and commitment to the backbone of

our planet—the family! Many times the challenge of re-entering the work-

force can raise our internal fears and sometimes paralyze us from taking ac-

tion . Remember this: action creates motion; motion creates results .

The old adage goes: “If you give a man a fish, you feed him for a day; if


xviii

you teach a man to fish, you feed him for a lifetime .” The Dream Job Online

Coaching System is about learning how to fish . I truly believe that if you

can learn the skills that I’ve learned over the past few decades, you’ll be able

to use them for a lifetime .

I am committed to sharing the latest cutting-edge information with you

to assist you in creating the job or career of your dreams . If you take the time

and apply yourself to learning this system, you will attract everything you

desire . I hope that the words on these pages cause ideas to spring from your

mind, doors to open, and walls to fall . Your past is not your future .

Look forward at times, and behind occasionally, but always remember, your

path is always where you are: the present, your gift from God .

—Ron Nash


xviii xix

YOUR COMMITMENT This program is designed to “stretch” you, which means to help you grow . If you’ve made the decision to find your life’s purpose and to Attract the Job of Your Dreams, make the following commitments right now:

1. I commit to completing the entire workshop and exercises in 12 days. I commit to taking this step because:

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

2. I commit to being totally responsible for what I get out of this program. I commit to taking this step because:

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

3. I commit to being open and trying things I haven’t tried before. I commit to taking this step because:

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

4. I commit to playing all out, even when I don’t feel like it. I commit to taking this step because:

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

5. I commit to using this information to better myself in every way. I commit to taking this step because:

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Signed____________________________________ Date _______________


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How to Use The Dream Job Online Coaching SystemThe FriendZone .Tv Website is filled with information and videos designed to en-

hance the topics in this book as well as provide other tools, training, information,

and resources to enhance your personal development . If you have purchased this

system through The Friend Zone website, you’ve automatically purchased access to

the membership area of the site, which houses the videos, additional trade secrets

and other valuable information .

If you purchased this book through Amazon, Borders, Barnes and Noble,

or another retail channel, or if this book was a gift, you will need to go to

www .TheFriendZone .Tv and purchase the Dream Job Coaching System module,

which is the interactive portion to the book and is a must to complete the program .

By purchasing the Dream Job Online Coaching System, you now have access to

The Friend Zone Website to assist you in your learning during the 12-day workshop .

You also get a FREE Dream Job e-journal that is available for download on the site .

The Dream Job e-journal is designed to follow the book, step-bystep, and allows you

to record your progress .

Today I’d like you to go to www .TheFriendZone .Tv and familiarize yourself with the

site and the navigation . Your password will give you access for 90 days from the time

you register . There will always be new videos, content, links, and other useful informa-

tion added to enhance what we are offering . Keep watching! It’s also a social network-

ing opportunity for job seekers and employees, executives, and people interested in ca-

reer expansion and development . Please sign up to be a LinkedIn networking partner

on the home page . I trust that you are a person of honor and integrity and will use this

password for only your own personal development . Also, feel free to comment on the

book and site—we are interested in growth and constant improvement, therefore your

feedback and participation are extremely useful and appreciated!


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•Part 1

THE FOUNDATION

“Castles made of sand fall into the sea, eventually”— Jimi Hendrix

3

Day 1“Where there is no vision, the people perish;

but he that keepeth the law, happy is he.” Proverbs 29:18

The Secret of a Compelling Vision

In my studies of human behavior, I have observed two groups that have

more similarities than differences, however, the differences are so vast

that the first group dwarfs the other based on their accomplishments . The

first group is very excited about life and approaches each day with passion

and zeal . The second group is more focused on the challenges and problems

of each day, and demonstrates a lack of passion and zest .

One thing that I’ve noticed that is a constant in people who are excited

about life is that they have something that propels them—something larger

than a goal—a compelling vision . I’ve also noticed that people who aren’t as

excited about life don’t have a compelling vision driving them . What is a com-


4 5

pelling vision? It’s something that is so large in scope that it takes a lifetime

to achieve it . Take Walt Disney as an example, he had a compelling vision

that we can all see and experience—Disneyland . This vision was so large

that it literally possessed his being to produce a result larger than himself .

Mohammed Ali is another—he set out to be the greatest boxer in history, and

to this day, there hasn’t been another who has matched his vision . The I Love

Lucy show was one of the first to be shown in over 70 countries, but more

importantly, Lucille Ball achieved her vision of being a Hollywood mogul in a

time when women weren’t regarded as equal business partners . Her company,

Desilu Productions, became one of the most successful TV production com-

panies of it’s time . Lucy became the first woman to head a major studio, and

one of the most powerful women in Hollywood .

These are only a few examples of people with compelling visions, and I’m

sure you can think of more, but the real question that I’d like you to ponder is

what is your compelling vision? Can you think of something that excites you

so much that you’d have to take a lifetime to accomplish it? Ok, maybe that’s

a bit large to contemplate, however, a compelling vision is something that is

massive, but real—it’s a burning desire that has the capability of keeping you

focused on it until it is manifested . Be mindful that this is not necessarily

going to be a thought like starting Microsoft or Nike . It may be as simple as

having a family and raising children, or having a flower shop where you can

be around flowers all day . You will discover your true inner desires when you


4

DAY 1

5

are aware of what your passions are . Additionally, your passions may never

be something you make money from or a career out of, but you will never

know until you try .

Creating your dream job is not about standing on the sideline and only

admiring people with the courage to try—it’s about jumping in and doing it .

This comes with a high price . In the sales profession, there is an old adage:

“the higher the risk, the higher the reward .” I liken this idea to the guard that

stands outside of the gates to the Kingdom of Life; who asks everyone who

dares to enter if they believe they can succeed . If you don’t have the courage

necessary, you will not write your name in the Book of Life .

On TheFriendZone .Tv, I have included seven videos from friends who I

consider outstanding in their lives and business endeavors . These are sev-

en ordinary people who have done extraordinary things because they took

chances on themselves regardless of the adversity they faced . They also tell the

stories of their trials and tribulations in the process . I hope that these stories

serve as inspiration to you in your journey to manifesting your own dream job

or career .

Most of us don’t have a specific system we use to help us break through our

fears and challenges in life, thus we leave our dreams abandoned on the road-

side like old cars . We simply use our intuition, or gut, to establish whether we

want to do something or not . While this is not right or wrong, it’s simply a

system that has no science . When we approach things systematically, and use


6

all of our sensory acuity, we can be more effective in accomplishing what we

set out to do .The Dream Job Online Coaching System is about bringing the

best of personal and career development into the same arena . I truly believe

that you can’t have what you imagine unless you know who you are . You see,

the only way you can influence others, is by influencing yourself .

On TheFriendZone .Tv you will find techniques that are tools to help you

recognize your own filters and behaviors which, in turn . help you to identify

others’ filters and behaviors . Once you have an understanding of how your

brain processes information, you’ll be better prepared to use your sensory

acuity and communication skills to achieve a desired outcome—creating

your dream job!

Exercise: All exercises require an Audio and/or Video Course that is only found in the Dream Job Online Coaching System . Please go to our website (http://tinyurl .com/n3yev3) to complete the daily exercise .

http://tinyurl.com/n3yev3



6 7

Day 2Whose side is your brain on? It’s either for you, or against you!

The Secret of Understanding Yourself

Today we have a lot of work to do, so get comfortable—grab yourself a

cup of coffee or tea, or whatever your pleasure is, and let’s get going!

As many of you know, the brain is a very complex organism and is the central

command post for every single thing that happens in our bodies and our lives .

There are many books and studies on the brain and how it functions, however,

it still remains a large mystery to the general scientific population . Don’t let

this chapter scare you away, this is the foundation of the book and the key to

understanding how you view the world . This is by far one of the most impor-

tant pieces of information that you will ever learn, so hang in there and get a

dictionary if you need it! Never read past a word you don’t understand .

One area of study that I’ve been extremely intrigued with is Neuro Linguistic

Programming (NLP), which is the study of how our minds work and how we


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can program our minds to work for us, as opposed to against us . I was so

intrigued with the field that I became a certified NLP therapist . Although I’ve

been a career strategist and headhunter for many years and have developed

many intuitive coaching techniques, NLP has allowed me to create processes

for implementing lasting change, which will be used in this book .

I became an NLP therapist because of a phase I was going through in my

marriage . I had somehow created the belief that I wasn’t happy in my mar-

riage after 11 years and that I wasn’t sure if I wanted to continue being mar-

ried . Now, the fact that I have two amazing children weighed heavily on my

mind and my decision-making process . So when I heard about an NLP course

that was being given by an incredible individual named Steve Linder, who is

a Master Neurostrategist, I was ready . I didn’t know what to expect—I simply

knew that he created one of the best NLP courses in the world, SRI Coaching .

Steve actually teaches a hybrid of NLP called Neurostratology, which is one

of the cutting edge incarnations of NLP and NAC (Neuro Associative Condi-

tioning .) NAC was developed and made popular by Anthony Robbins .

The information that I learned from this course not only helped me to sal-

vage my marriage and family, but also helped me to understand myself and

why I was asking questions that were causing me to spiral downward . I learned

that the questions I was asking myself had nothing to do with my wife . As

partners in relationships, whether they are marital, corporate, family-based, or

another type, our ability to understand ourselves is the key to effective commu-


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nication . How do you think our world would benefit if everyone on the planet

communicated more effectively? The reason for going into depth on the brain

is to give you some distinctions and insights into yourself .

The Six Senses

This is going to be slightly technical, but hang in there . I promise there is a

method to my madness . The brain uses something called models . In essence

a model is a blueprint or a map . Like a map, a model is not necessarily true, it

is just a representation of reality .

One of the major discoveries of the 20th century is the basis of personality

and how to change it . This model, which is essentially a model from Cogni-

tive Psychology, was developed by Richard Bandler and John Grinder . It is

called Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP), and it explains how we process

the information that comes into us from the world around us . One of the

modern leaders in this field is Anthony Robbins, who has created a series of

programs using Neuro Associative Conditioning (NAC) . He has created a

number of audio, video, and live programs that create lasting change in our

lives utilizing this technology which is rooted in NLP .

In the NLP model, the process begins with an external event that we experi-

ence through our senses . Our cognition of the event occurs as we experience

the information that comes in though our sensory input channels which are:

•Visual: The sense of sight . Some people are extremely visual by nature .

For example, after you’ve spoken with someone who is very visual, they


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may respond with “I see what you mean” or “I need to see what you’re

talking about .” Visual people are more comfortable seeing things in order

to come to conclusions, including what we see or the way someone looks

at us .

•Auditory: The sense of hearing . Auditory people are more inclined to use

terms like “I hear what you’re saying” or “I read the document, but can

you explain what you’re talking about please?” Auditory people are more

comfortable hearing the details . This includes sounds, the words we hear,

and the way that people say those words to us .

•Kinesthetic: The sense of touch . Kinesthetic people are more likely to use

terms like “I feel you” or “I don’t feel like this is right for me .” They focus on

external feelings, which include the touch of someone or something, the

pressure exerted, and the texture .

•Olfactory: The sense of smell . This may be someone who has to smell

their food before eating it . I used to do this quite a bit . (Important note:

don’t wear perfume or cologne to a job interview . Not everyone relates to

the smells that you do .)

•Gustatory: The sense of taste . This may be someone who has to lick you

before they determine whether they like you…OK are you paying atten-

tion? This is someone who prefers tasting things before making decisions .

For example, in a restaurant the person who is gustatory is going to want

to taste things before making a final decision . Have you ever been to din-


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ner with someone who wants to taste everything on the table including

the food from everyone else’s plates?

•Intuition: The sense of knowing or insight—your sixth sense . Many of us

have developed a deep gut feeling or an instinct that if fine tuned might

serve us well . This is an intangible sense that has been considered un-

proven or taboo for a long time in Western culture . However, we are now

moving into a new era of a deeper understanding of ourselves and our

minds . Thus, our sixth sense is the newcomer to the board of sensory

input channels .

In order to get in touch with your intuition, try the following exercises .

During a meeting or an interview become present to the moment by

redirecting your attention to your breath . Pay attention also to your

surroundings, colors, pictures, or photographs, and plants . What do

they tell you about the person or the organization? Are the plants well

taken care of? Does the environment appeal to you? Is the space well

organized? Do the people working there seem relaxed, happy, stressed,

bored, excited?

As you get better at picking up clues, you will also come upon the sym-

bolic meaning of certain appearances . The universe uses signs as its

language . However most of us have to learn how to understand this

language . Have you ever seen the movie Bruce Almighty with Jim Carey?

In one scene he drives down a street and exclaims “God, just give me a


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sign!” Meanwhile there are red lights flashing and stop signs everywhere .

To get better at noticing the signs take some quiet time after a meet-

ing or an interview and mentally walk through the experience again . Is

there anything else that you might notice or think about; is there any-

thing that feels right or alternatively wrong? By the way, as you become

more intuitive you will notice that the veil between your own thoughts

and those of others will thin . You will pick up on what they are thinking

and if they have practiced their intuitive skills they will answer to your

unspoken thoughts . Finally, get a night’s rest to let your intuition be at

work . Sometimes you might have a dream that will clarify your intuitive

insight . Journaling your experiences and your dreams will further evolve

your intuitive skills . Intuition derives from right brain activity .

Everyone uses ALL of these sensory input channels, some more than others .

There are dominant ones that each of us uses which determine our overall

sensibilities, however, we all posses the same core sensory perceptions .

After an external event comes in through our sensory channels, and before

we make an Internal Representation (IR: your internal picture or interpreta-

tion) of the event, we filter the event . We run that event through our internal

processing filters . Our internal processing filters are how we delete, distort,

and generalize the information that comes in through our five senses . For

example, a candidate had a job interview and met with twelve people dur-

ing the course of the day . Ten of the twelve people seemed to really like the


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candidate; the final two people on the interview schedule were hard for the

candidate to read, therefore the candidate thought the interview had taken

a turn for the worse, and that there was no longer a chance to get the job . Is

this assumption true?

The Human Filters: How We Filter the World

•Deletion:Deletion occurs when we selectively pay attention to certain

aspects of our experience and not others . Deletion means we overlook or

omit certain sensory information . Without deletion, we would be faced

with too much information to handle in our conscious minds, and would

probably live in padded rooms! In the example of the candidate who

interviewed with twelve people, the candidate chose to delete the previ-

ous ten positive experiences and focus on the last two people who were

not as readable, according to his/her perception . This is neither right nor

wrong, it is simply the way that we process information .

•Distortion: Distortion occurs when we make shifts in our experience

of sensory data by making misrepresentations of reality . Distortion also

helps us in the process of motivating ourselves . Motivation occurs when

we actually distort the material that has come to us and that has already

been changed by one of our filtering systems . Distortion is also helpful

in planning . We distort to plan when we construct imaginary futures,

for example, a candidate has a telephone interview scheduled for a job

that s/he is interested in . Although the interviewer is scheduled to call


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at 3pm, the candidate begins to anxiously wait for the call at 2:30 . The

phone interview takes place and everything seems to have gone very

well . The candidate now begins to construct an imaginary future of

working at the company and gets very excited . This is part of the magic

of visualization and distortion .

•Generalization:Generalization is one of the ways that we learn, where-

by we take the information we have and draw broad conclusions about

the world based on one or more experiences .

Normally the conscious mind can only handle seven, plus or minus two,

topics of information at any given time . Try this: can you name more

than seven products in a given product category, for example, a brand of

coffee? Most people will be able to name two, maybe three products in

a category of low interest, and usually no more than nine in a category

of high interest . There is a reason for this . If we did not actively delete

information all the time, we would end up with excessive amounts of in-

formation bombarding us . Try opening up a bunch of windows on your

computer at the same time . The computer slows down drastically while

trying to process the information, and, in fact, if you open too many

functions at the same time, the computer might crash . That is why we

filter information—it is a necessary function of the brain .

Have you ever looked at the same event and come up with a completely differ-

ent conclusion than your spouse, or friends? Why didn’t they have the same


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response? The answer is: we delete, distort, and generalize the information

that comes in from our senses, by using certain internal processing filters .

The unconscious mind does the deleting, distorting, and generalizing; the

conscious mind uses what is left over .

•Metaprograms:“Meta” means over, beyond, above, or on a different

level, i .e ., operating at an unconscious level . This is very similar to how a

lower-language software program runs your computer, which is usually

called “System Level Software .” They run on a different level so that MS

XP and Vista can operate on top of them effortlessly . Metaprograms are

deep-rooted mental programs, which automatically filter our experience

and guide and direct our thought processes, resulting in significant dif-

ferences in behavior from person to person . They define typical patterns

in the strategies or thinking styles of an individual, group, company, or

culture . You may have seen some of the tribes on the Discovery Channel

who pierce their lips with huge pieces of material to expand their flesh .

It is considered beautiful to this culture, but may not so beautiful to an-

other . These ideas are based on our strategies and thinking styles .

Metaprograms are just one of the ways we maintain our identities by either

preserving or breaking down the generalizations that we make over time .

Knowing your metaprograms can actually help you closely predict

your psychological states, behaviors, and actions . It is extremely use-

ful to know whether you are a candidate interviewing for a job or an


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interviewer interviewing a candidate . In addition, we can change the

ways a person filters information for a certain purpose . The purpose of

metaprograms is not to put people into categories or for the purpose of

determining right or wrong . Metaprograms are not good or bad . They

are simply one way we all process information .

VALUESANDBELIEFS

How we encode (program) our most cherished values, beliefs and at-

titudes also has a profound effect on our personality . With background

information on how values, beliefs, and attitudes are formed, how they

are encoded in the brain, and how we judge good and evil, or right and

wrong, we can also predict our internal states in reaction to certain situ-

ations, and therefore predict our behavior . For instance, if you believe

that drinking alcohol is bad for people and you go to a job interview that

you are completely excited about which takes place over lunch, and the

hiring manager decides to have a few martinis, you may have a differ-

ent perspective on the company and hiring manager based on your own

values and beliefs . Values create the primary feelings that determine our

motivation and therefore our actions . Values affect how we choose and

evaluate our actions or the actions of someone else, i .e ., the hiring man-

ager . This is not good or bad, it’s just a way we use our filters to make

sense of all of the information coming into our brains . However there is

a way to use this so that it serves you .


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Inside the individual there are parts (minor personalities, or systems of

values) that maintain the internal workings of the personality and tie all

the elements together . It is believed that conflicts among the internal

parts are responsible for many personality problems, including simple

incongruities, as well as more severe health problems and personality

disorders . On a daily basis, there are voices in our heads that give us di-

rections or suggestions which cause us to spiral up or down . For exam-

ple, there was a time when I was very bothered by the fact that my wife

didn’t organize the refrigerator and cabinets in our home with the labels

a certain way . While in my own mind, this was important, my wife had

no idea what I was conjuring up, until the issue became a mountain in

my head and I exploded! It was my own internal conflict and voices that

caused me to spiral downward . When I finally realized what I had done,

it gave me some more insight into myself, since she had no idea that this

mattered to me . I realized that it was part of a minor personality system

that I devised when I was a child .

Do you see how complex this brain stuff is? We’re almost done . These are

the elements that make up the personality in a normal, healthy human being

(and even in those who are not .)

•Values:A value is a “hot button” that drives a behavior . Values provide

the primary motivating force behind our actions, whether our actions

are good or bad or right or wrong . Values are arranged in a hierarchy,


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with the most important one being at the top and the lesser ones below

that . Each of us has varying models of the world (an internal representa-

tion of how the world is,) and our values are interrelated with our mod-

els of the world . When we communicate with ourselves or someone else,

if our model of the world conflicts with our values or their values, there

is likely to be a clash . A principle value is a foundation upon which other

values and measures of integrity are based . Values are considered subjec-

tive and vary across people and cultures . Types of values include ethical/

moral values, doctrinal/ideological (political, religious) values, social

values, and aesthetic values . For example, some people will only work

for companies that create products or services that contribute to the

overall well-being of humanity, while others think that creating weap-

ons of mass destruction affect the overall well being of humanity . This

is simply a value statement, which is neither right nor wrong . Another

great example of the presence and use of values was very apparent in a

discussion with my wife about something that was built into both of our

lives . She and I are from families that put a large value on cleanliness and

neatness of the home . Her grandmother was an amazing homemaker, as

was her mother . As a result, my wife feels like she is constantly not living

up to the mark that her grandmother and mom have set . I also come

from a similar family and am even more of a fanatic than my wife when

it comes to a clean home . There are times when I’ve suggested that our


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kitchen cabinets were not in order, which would trigger her hot buttons .

She and I have talked about this, and agreed that her extreme reaction is

due to the fact that she feels so much pressure to keep up with the way

her mom and grandmother have kept their homes, combined with their

criticism of her not being as tidy as they think she should be . There has

been an internal conflict as a result of this for many years, and fortunate-

ly we’ve recently been able to discover it .

•Beliefs:Our beliefs are a very powerful force in our behavior . It is com-

mon wisdom that if someone really believes he can do something, he

will do it, and if he believes something is impossible, no amount of effort

will convince him that it can be accomplished . Beliefs are convictions or

acceptances that certain things are true or real . For example, I grew up in

a family that supported the idea that, “As a man thinks, so is he .” This is a

core belief that I still possess and use in the creation of my world . Once

again, people derive their own conclusions based on their personal value

and belief systems . These systems are not right or wrong, neither good

nor bad; they are simply values and beliefs that we each have and are

entitled to .

•Attitudes:Attitudes are collections of values and belief systems around

a certain subject . We are usually quite conscious of our attitudes, and

may even tell people: “Well, that’s just the way I feel about that .” For

example, some hiring managers have the attitude that unless you have


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a college degree you are not qualified to work in a particular company,

regardless of your experience . This is not true, it’s simply an attitude .

However attitudes are substantially harder to change than values be-

cause of the level of abstraction .

•Memories:Memories deeply affect a person’s perceptions and personal-

ity . They are who we are . Some psychologists believe that as we get older

our reactions in the present are reactions to gestalts (collections of memo-

ries that are organized in a certain way around a certain subject) of past

memories and that the present plays very little part in our behavior . This

ties in to the work that Oprah endorsed author Eckhart Tolle has done

in his amazing book, A New Earth . Eckart talks about the pain body and

how it is a portion of the ego that establishes its own form and existence in

our minds . Pain bodies are collection memories that the brain recognizes

as independent or external, similar to an external hard drive . The ego has

convinced the brain that it is in control and that the mind and body are the

by-product of its existence, in essence the ego sees itself as the origin of

consciousness . Pain bodies are profoundly present in our society and have

formed massive groups of consumers who they feed on to keep them alive .

Have you ever gone to see a horror movie or film about death and destruc-

tion? Most likely you have your favorite ones . Our pain bodies feed on

these types of thoughts and images, that’s how they survive . Pain bodies

are large bodies or collections of pain-based memories, (if you haven’t seen


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the movie, What the Bleep do We Know?, I highly recommend it .)

•Decisions:Decisions may create beliefs, values, attitudes and even life

themes, or they may just affect our perceptions through time . The prob-

lem with many decisions is that they were made either unconsciously or

at a very early age, since most of our programming occurred between

zero to six years old . Also, we may make these decisions at one point in

time and then not re-evaluate our decisions as we grow and our values

change . Have you noticed how this echoes the fact that many of the laws

that have been made over the course of history remain unchanged?

These six filters then determine what information is retained as we make

an IR (Internal Representation) of any event . It is our IR that causes us

to be in a certain “state” and creates a certain physiology . “State” refers

to the internal emotional state of the individual, i .e ., a happy state, a sad

state, a motivated state, and so on . Why is it that two people can attend

the same event, and one will love it, while the other hates it? The reason

is because an individual’s IR is so dependent on their filters .

In recent studies, researchers determined that in conversation, seven per-

cent of what we communicate to others is the result of the words that we

say (of the content of our communication .) Thirty-eight percent of our

communication to others is a result of our verbal behavior, which includes

tone of voice, timbre, tempo, and volume . Fifty-five percent of our inter-

change with others is a result of our non-verbal communication, i .e ., our


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body posture, breathing, skin color, and movement . The match between

our verbal and non-verbal cues indicates the level of congruency (harmo-

ny) in our communication .

OK, it’s time to tie it all together . Now that you understand that you con-

trol your focus, what will you choose to focus on? How will you choose to

feel? Let’s begin to examine the tools for attracting the things of your choos-

ing into your life—in this case the job of your dreams .

TenImportantThingstoLearnandRemember:

1 . Every second, it is estimated that your nervous system receives around

two million bits of important sensory data about the events that are hap-

pening around you . You interpret this information via your five senses:

visual (sight,) auditory (hearing,) kinesthetic (feeling and touch,) olfac-

tory (smelling) and gustatory (tasting .)

2 . Of course, we are not aware of two million things happening every

second (because we’d go crazy!) so our mind filters the information into

about seven bits . In order to filter two million bits into seven bits it de-

letes, distorts and generalizes some things .

3 . Deletions are important because they stop us from being bombarded by

information that isn’t relevant in the moment . For example, as you read

this you were probably not aware of your breathing until it was brought

into your awareness .

4 . Distortions are when we make things better or worse than they really


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are . An example is the distortion filter that a fisherman uses to describe

the one that got away: “Boy it was the biggest fish I’ve ever seen!”

5 . Generalizations help us to relate things we are learning to what we

already know . It also prevents us from having to relearn something every

time we do it, such as walking . Generalizations can be limiting though . If

a bad experience leaves us with negative beliefs, it limits our world . For

example, if someone had a bad experience in a panel interview, they may

now have the belief that panel interviews are not fair .

6 . Using the seven bits of information that we have filtered we recreate

the outside event inside our mind . This is called an Internal Representa-

tion . This means that what we represent to ourselves inside our minds is

never true to what is actually happening in the event (because we have

deleted, distorted and generalized bits .) We all delete, distort, and gener-

alize differently, so we all have different experiences of life .

7 . The things we create in our Internal Representation affect the way we

feel . In NLP, we call this “state .”

8 . Our state affects our physiology (what we do with our bodies .) This is

why happy people have a much more upright posture, and depressed

people slouch downwards . (Incidentally, regular exercise is a great natu-

ral remedy for depression .)

9 . State, physiology, and Internal Representations are interlinked and af-

fect each other . This is why lucky people seem to attract more luck and


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unhappy people seem to attract more problems . We are designed to at-

tract more of what we focus on—because the Law of Attraction is real!

10 . Our state, physiology and Internal Representations account for the

behavior we then exhibit, which affects the results we get . Good results

or bad results, either way we get results . One way to change your state is

to change your physiology . For example if you are in a foul or depressed

mood, exercise! Do something that sends a different message to the

brain . When you change your physiology, the body chemistry is affected

almost immediately and the mood shifts almost instantly . In fact, my

wife used to suffer from severe anxiety attacks and has managed to con-

trol them by waking up everyday at 5:30 am and jogging She’s done this

for the past several years and her anxiety attacks have gone away! Think

about it, have you ever seen a depressed professional athlete?

In conclusion, this is why it is necessary to make sure you know which

side your brain is on . You see, the brain is a very complex organism that has

the ability to operate with or without your permission . It also has the power

to create images like the holodeck on Star Trek, and will show you whatever

reality that you believe . Good or bad, it’s your choice, therefore, I highly rec-

ommend that you take the reins and guide the brain in the direction of your

choice, and be careful of the emotional pitfalls that you create for yourself .

Remember, you cannot influence others unless you influence yourself! Learn

to control and monitor your thoughts by monitoring how you feel . It’s easier


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than monitoring what you think . For example, if you are not feeling great, do

something that changes your state . If you’re on the way to an interview, do

something simple like jumping jacks or side twists, because this drastically

changes your physiology, which changes your state .





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Day 3The words from your mouth are a reflection of

the sounds between your ears.

The Secret of Language: Internal and External Dialogue

Now that you understand how the brain works, it is equally important to

know how language patterns affect your results in life . Language patterns

represent the way the brain sends and receives commands . Language is a by-prod-

uct of thinking, and feeds back into your brain through your internal dialogue . Nat-

urally, what you manufacture with the brain is what you get out of it, whether it is

positive or negative . Equally, what you think is what you get . For example, have you

ever known someone who uses language to blame others for their own shortcom-

ings? (i .e ., “Why do they always do that? It bothers me,” or “Why did they make this

package so hard to open? It’s dumb!” or “they won’t hire me, I’m too old,” or “they

won’t hire someone of my color!” or “There’s no way I could ever do something like

that!”—do you know anyone like this?


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A True Story:

I once had a client who was an extremely qualified Ph .D . in a certain dis-

cipline with over 15 years of experience to add to the degree . I presented this

candidate with an opportunity that was in a similar field, with some slight dif-

ferences . I spoke to the hiring manager in advance, preparing her to highlight

the differences; with a focus on the relevant experience the candidate had . The

hiring manager was excited to speak with the candidate and very motivated

to hire someone for the position . I then prepared the candidate for a phone

interview . Before the phone interview the candidate said, “Are you sure they’re

going to like my background? I don’t think I am qualified for the position .” I

then asked why she thought she wasn’t qualified for the position . She replied,

“While I have the experience and education, my experience is slightly different

and so far all of the people I’ve spoken to have not been able to get over my dif-

ferences .” I told the candidate, “While you do have slight differences, your focus

should really be on what you can contribute and how quickly you can learn to

bridge the gap between the differences . You should focus on the relevance of

your experience as opposed to what you lack .”

I could tell prior to my client’s interview that the candidate was still using lan-

guage patterns which did not support a win . After the candidate spoke to the hir-

ing manager on the phone, it was obvious the candidate had focused on what she

lacked and therefore was not considered for the position . She sabotaged herself

with her beliefs and language patterns . Have you ever done something like this?


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While coaching this candidate it was obvious to me that her beliefs and-

language patterns were defeating her efforts to secure another opportunity .

Not only was she not having success looking for another opportunity, she

was also having challenges as a manager at the company where she was

employed . This candidate had been using language patterns that were not

positive, therefore affecting everything she believed about her abilities and

her life . She looked at the world with a skewed perspective by thinking that

she wasn’t good enough, thus, her language supported her perspective . The

moral of the story is: Listen to the words coming out of your mouth, they

represent what you believe .

File Transfers

This candidate was a victim of what I call “file transferring .” We all are . If

you recall the information from Day 1, most of our programming occurrs be-

tween zero and six years of age . When we are children, our brains are mold-

ed . We are told what we should or shouldn’t do, that we are smart or dumb,

what God we should believe in, and how to worship . These are file transfers

which primarily come from our parents or guardians, and because they take

place at such an early age, they are deeply rooted in our unconscious minds .

People are always telling us what they believe to be true, whether it’s rooted

in fact or not . And because we are auditory and visual beings, we tend to be-

lieve what we are told without any question . Take a moment to consider this:

if you are a religious person, it’s probably because you either had a profound


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31

experience which caused you to take on your faith, or you grew up in a family

that promoted religion . There is nothing wrong with either, and you might

have experienced both! To further illustrate file transfers and how they work

finish these commonly-used statements:

1 . Plop, Plop, Fizz, Fizz, oh what a ______________________________ .

2 . There are some things money can’t buy, for everything else there’s _____________________________ .

3 . Polly wants a __________________ .

4 . Our father who art in ______________________ .

5 . Chicken Mc ___________________ .

STOP! Answer these questions in your Dream Job Journal: What do you re-

ally believe? What is your purpose? Do you believe you deserve the job of your

dreams? Be honest with yourself, because this is the best way to figure out why

you might not have it . Pay attention to your true inner voice and turn off the

critical one . What are some of your limiting beliefs about your dream job? For

example, “I don’t know how to find it,” or “I don’t have a degree,” or “I don’t have

a computer,” or “I can’t afford to change jobs .” Maybe you think your teeth look

awful and so you would never interview at a company that has people with nice

teeth . Now that you’ve answered the questions, where do you think these beliefs

come from? There are a number of things that we believe and many of these be-

liefs are based on file transfers .

Do you surround yourself with people who support upward spiraling, or


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31

are you surrounded by people who cause you to spiral downward more often?

You are known by the company you keep! If you want to live a life where you

give yourself a chance to truly enjoy your power, be with people who have the

same purpose . Sometimes leaving a peer group or an unhealthy relationship

can be emotionally challenging, but you only have one life . Do you remember

my rule of 23? How much time do you think you really have?

The Spiral Effect

I’d like you to consider this right now: there are two dominant voices in

your head—one that spirals up (supports you positively) and one that spirals

down (supports you negatively .) You can also equate them to the left and right

hemispheres of your brain . Starting today, you are going to listen to your inner

voice and determine when you are spiraling up or spiraling down . When you

catch yourself spiraling up, give yourself a big smile and think something good

(i .e ., “I love me, I am my biggest support, I am successful, I am extremely happy,

I will have my dream job, I deserve it,” etc .) When you catch yourself spiraling

down, say something good as well (i .e ., “I caught you, you can’t fool me into be-

lieving your lies, I’m worthy of anything that my heart desires, it’s a natural law

and God promised it to me, therefore, I’m going to spiral up right now!”) Set

a standard for yourelf . Start with something you feel or have felt great about .

Use that feeling as your starting point to measure and determine how close or

far you are to where you want to be emotionally . Also, notice where your eyes

are when you spiral up or down . When you spiral up, your physiology is most


32

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33

likely erect and in a strong posture, and when you spiral down, your physiology

is in a more depressed posture . Change your inner language and it will reflect

outwardly . This will also help to balance your left and right hemispheres so that

they are eventually in harmony .

How does that feel? This is a simple system that I developed to help create up-

ward thought processes on a moment-to-moment basis . I also use it as a coach-

ing tool when I see people spiraling up or down . It’s also good with my children,

who get it! (OK, you’ve been reading for a while, where is your brain spiraling?)

To summarize, there is brain chatter that constantly plays in our heads, it

is the constant dialogue between the two voices that are ever-present in our

minds . The trick is to identify which direction the voices are causing your brain

to spiral . Since humans can only focus on one thing, on average, for 22 seconds,

this will require regular practice . In some religions, meditation has been instru-

mental in helping focus the brain and lower the chatter . Yoga is the latest new-

comer in Western civilization that has introduced ways of focusing the mind .

The more successful you are focusing your mind, the more you will be able to

access your internal power . I also find that closing my eyes and breathing slowly

for one minute while listening to my breath works well .

The Downward Spiral of Fear

Fear is a feeling attached to an emotion that has the tendency to paralyze

people in their tracks . Don’t let it! If you are afraid to re-emerge in the job

market after having been out, or if you want to start a new business after hav-


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33

ing worked for someone else, or whatever the circumstance, don’t let fear be

the reason why you are not successful at trying . The downward spiral of fear

is actually a friend in disguise, but when you allow it to rule your life, it will

rob you of life itself . Don’t get me wrong—there are times when it’s good to be

afraid and run for your life . There’s no sense in being foolish . However, most of

us allow fear to paralyze us to the point of being afraid to ask for help or advice

in a time when we really need it . Some of us won’t apply for a position because

we fear that our experiences are out of date or that we will be rejected . Fear of

rejection is a massive condition that many people suffer from . You can beat it

by simply taking action . The voice in your head that spirals down is there to

motivate you if you use it correctly . I have trained myself to use the downward

spiraling voice to get myself to take action on things that I would not ordinarily

do . Fear can be used in front of you, like a wall, or behind you, like a great white

shark . The wall is designed to keep you from moving forward, the shark is there

to keep you moving ahead . How do you use fear?

The voice in your head that sounds the fear alarm is actually a protective

mechanism in the brain that is there to push us along and to keep us safe, not

to harness and imprison us . In fact, if you allow that voice to imprison you on

a regular basis and fall prey to inaction because you are afraid, near the end of

your life, when you’ve realized what a mistake it was not to go for it, the voice

in your head will be your eternal tormentor, compliments of yourself . Thus,

be aware not to allow your life to be stolen by fear .


34 35

The Spiral Effect with Drugs and Alcohol

Many people use drugs and/or alcohol to feel connected, which could be an at-

tempt to be more in the right hemisphere . However, many people use drugs and/

or alcohol to also feel disconnected, which could be an attempt to be more in the

left hemisphere . A word of caution when using drugs and/or alcohol: they can af-

fect your state severely because the chemistry in our bodies is extremely sensitive .

Drugs and alcohol block the transmission of electrons flowing to the neurotrans-

mitters in the brain . Neurotransmitters are chemicals that are used to relay, amplify,

and modulate signals between a neuron and another cell . The transmitters become

more sensitive in attempts to receive the electrical impulse; once the blockage is

clear the transmitters are hypersensitive . Ask your doctor about prescription drugs

and their effects on your electron transmission as well—drugs are drugs . Basically

what I’m saying is that if you use drugs or alcohol, you should know how they affect

your brain . This can give you clues or insights into why you feel the way you do .

Depression, anxiety, and other mood swings can be induced by what you put into

your body—be aware! This is extremely important to consider when interviewing .

Your feelings will be determined by your body chemistry, thus, if you’ve stayed up

the night before partying, you may not be on top of your game .





34 35

Day 4You will, whether you are conscious of it or not.

The Secret of The Law of Attraction

Attraction is one of seven natural laws . Just like gravity or the expand-

ing universe, it just is! There are still people who like to speculate and

argue these matters, but there are better things to use your time and energy

on—namely, attracting the job or career of your dreams!

Human Energy Fields

Human Energy fields—sounds like physics, but don’t get scared away . It’s

pretty cool stuff to know . We all have the ability to attract or repel based on

the energetic field that is created by what we think . This is the essence of

The Law of Attraction . Basically, what you focus on matters—literally, things

become material when you give them a certain amount of focus . Think about

it this way, someone had to come up with the thought or idea that is now a

table or a fork, it didn’t just happen . Of course things evolve over the course


36

DAY 4

of time, however, everything in our physical universe starts with the same

thing—a thought . Clothing, houses, automobiles, schools, everything you

can think of is based out of someone’s initial thought . Thoughts are powerful

things, which is why it’s important to monitor how you use them .

Our bodies have enough energy within them to power a city; the energy field

that I speak of is real . In addition, we are very similar to atoms because we can

generate more energy by using thought to create friction . For example, have you

ever been in a situation where you had a lot of pressure on you to get something

accomplished? Most of us have . That pressure or friction that was felt as a result

of the external circumstance going against your internal posture created more

friction, which in turn created motion, and the outcome was energy .

This energy can create energy fields that are maintained by your belief

systems . As an example, if someone believed that a co-worker or boss didn’t

like them, this would most likely cause them to act differently around that

person . That single thought has the ability to resonate in your brain which

in turn shows up in your physiology in a way that supports your imagination

to bring forth what you envision—someone who dislikes you . You can also

energize something that is of a more positive nature, for example, finding the

love of your life . This is done using the same energetic field which attracts

anything that you imagine . In this case we are obviously focusing on creating

your dream job . The trick to being successful at controlling what you attract

is by controlling what you think . This is extremely challenging due to the


36

DAY 4

37

fact that the average human has between 50 and 70 thousand thoughts per

day, and can only focus on one thing for 22 seconds, on average . It is hard to

monitor all that you are thinking because you’d have to be conscious of all

of your thoughts, all of the time! The easiest way to do this is by monitoring

how you feel—it’s much easier . As an example, if you catch yourself thinking

about something that doesn’t feel good, change your focus . For most people,

this is extremely challenging, and it takes practice . For some people, anger

is a state they derive power from maintaining due the feeling of significance

they feel . On the same note, there are many people who choose to feel great

regardless to external circumstances . They’ve done the work to maintain this

state . Remember: the energy field that is most present attracts it’s likeness

and repels the opposite . In other words, how you feel is attracting or repelling

your opportunities, therefore, be aware of how you feel!

An Overview of the Seven Laws:

1.TheLawofPolarity: Everything in the universe has an equal and exact

opposite—male/female, night/day, long/short, funny/sad, yin/yang, etc .

2.TheLawofRhythm: Everything is moving in perfect rhythm and at

perfect speed . If you have a problem believing this, Google astronomy

and look at the cosmos .

3.TheLawofRelativity:Everything is relative . Einstein was credited for

this idea, however, it’s a natural law . Einstein was able to communicate

this idea in a way that people understood .


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DAY 4

4.TheLawofCauseandEffect: For every cause there is an effect, for

every effect there is a cause . What goes up must come down .

5.TheLawofGender:Both male and female energy are necessary for

creation . Try having a baby without the male or female contribution .

6.TheLawofPerpetualTransmutationofEnergy: Energy is forever,

moving in and out of different forms . This is seen throughout nature,

such as when a rose petal falls to the ground beneath the plant, it goes

into the soil and the soil becomes richer . We sometimes see passing

away in the physical form as death, but only because we can’t see the

physical form anymore . Energy is eternal though . When our sun ceases

to shine, the energy it has emitted will still be a part of the universe .

7.TheLawofAttraction:Based on the principle of vibration, nothing

rests, everything has motion, and everything is moving . For example,

your skin is made up of different molecules than your bones, which are

denser . There are organs inside your body that have an even different

density, and are very different from each other . Your heart is extremely

different from your liver but the common thing that they all have are

the molecules and atoms that keep them hovering together as a mass of

energy . These organs have energies that vibrate at different rates, holding

them together in the same body for different functions, completely inde-

pendent of each other but working together as one to create your body .

The Law of Attraction is about understanding how energy and vibration


38

DAY 4

39

work . It’s actually quite simple . When you think of something, you natu-

rally use visualization—it’s the way your brain is wired . It’s part of our

deletion and distortion process . For example, think of a car you want and

you will see in your mind’s eye, a picture of a car . You begin to attract the

car when you emotionally charge the image with desire . This may sound

a little out there, but trust me, it’s something that you already do—I’m

only asking that you be conscious of it .

An amazing example of a person utilizing the Law of Attraction would be

Tiger Woods . Tiger’s mother and father began training his young mind

at an early age, which has led to him being a modern day example of a

person who understands and uses the Law of Attraction in a profound

way . Look at some of his miraculous moments captured on tape . On

a number of occasions he has literally willed the ball to do things that

seem to defy the law of gravity . I’m sure he doesn’t even call it the Law

of Attraction, he just does it, hence the Nike endorsement “Just Do It!”

Tiger consistently visualizes his outcome with such intensity and clarity,

that he magnetizes what he visualizes . Some people say that he wants to

be the best golfer who ever played . I believe that he simply wants to beat

himself, which is his perpetual reason . I’m also certain that Tiger does all

of the physical and mental preparation necessary to ensure that his mind

and body are in sync .

How about your ability to attract things? Have you ever seen something


40

DAY 4

that you really wanted to buy? Let’s use a car for this example . When you

saw the car, you were so excited that you went online and researched

it, passionately knowing that you had to have this car . You even went

out and test drove the actual vehicle in the color you imagined that you

owned . Not only did you test drive the vehicle, but you also took all of

the literature from a dealership and hung pictures around your home

and office and wherever you could . Now let’s say that you had no idea

how you were going to buy the car, but a burning desire inside told you

that you would have it and all you needed to do was believe .

Unbeknownst to you as you look back from the original impression that

you put in your mind, several months later you were driving the exact

car you visualized . Now in your particular case, this may have been

something else, like a house, a wife, a husband, a child, a trip, or an outfit

you wanted to buy . It could be a number of things, but my point remains

the same: when you use your brain to visualize anything that you want,

and you do it with an energy that feels like you have it, you then set

The Law of Attraction in motion . We do it all of the time—it could be

something as simple as getting a candybar, or a cigarette in a place where

you didn’t even think you’d find one . We really have access to miracles

on a daily basis . My job is to help you realize that you are more powerful

than you think . It only takes 17 seconds of focusing on something before

a matching vibration is activated, and only 68 seconds until the vibration


40

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41

becomes powerful enough to manifest . Do this as a practice with a focus

on your dream job or career and you WILL have it . It’s a natural law and

promise of God .

Intentional Magic

This has been an interesting week, even as I write this book! Our cell phone

carrier turned off our business phones for some odd reason and cancelled the

account . This occurred during a business conversation I was having . I imme-

diately called tech support to see what the status of my account was, know-

ing that the bill wasn’t due for a couple of weeks . After bouncing around in

the technical support arena, I finally asked for a supervisor to see if I could

get some answers . The supervisor I spoke to had promised to call me back by

the end of the day, which was only a couple of hours away . A couple of hours

passed and I received no phone call . Mind you that this is my connection to the

world . In our home, we only use a land line for emergencies . My state was defi-

nitely shifting and I was a little perturbed! I decided to wait until the following

day to handle this and went on a bike ride with my son . The ride helped change

my physiology and I felt better, but was still a little perturbed .

The next day I called to see if any progress had been made and the tech

support person I’d spoken to told me that it would be at least 72 hours before I

would receive any resolution . I then suggested that I would need to speak with

a supervisor . A supervisor was summoned and I got the person who hadn’t

returned my call just by chance because this is a large cell phone carrier . He


42

DAY 4

apologized and said that this was an unusual situation and that he’d never seen

anything like it . He promised to call me by the end of the day . I asked the su-

pervisor what he was waiting for and he replied that there was someone in

corporate he needed to speak with . I asked for that person’s name at corporate

headquarters so that I could help speed the resolution, but he refused to di-

vulge the information due to policy . Thank goodness I’ve been a headhunter for

a long time and know some trade secrets for getting ANYONE on the phone,

which I’ll discuss later in the second part of this book .

I waited for his resolution and by the end of the day, did not receive a call .

My natural progression was to reach out to the president, which I did, suc-

cessfully . I sent a really nice but firm letter outlining my concerns about their

company’s inability to figure out what had happened and most importantly to

follow up with a matter that involved me entrusting my business service with

their company . By midday, I received a phone call from someone suggesting

that the president had him personally deal with my issue and to apologize for

the drastic misunderstanding . They also suggested that they would rectify

the problem and do whatever it took to make me happy again . Now, the sec-

ond day into this problem, I went to the person who had sold me the service

and he instantly gave me a loaner cell phone with no question . He also got on

the phone and called the carrier to see if he could get an answer . By the way,

his name is Rocky, he owns a Postal Annex on Paseo Del Norte in Carlsbad,

California, and he knows the meaning of service . We are now in a global


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43

village where everyone can compete professionally anywhere in the world . In

my opinion when competition is so stiff, service is the only tie breaker .

On the final day of the situation, when I stopped by to see Rocky, he gave

me a second phone to let me use, I didn’t even have to ask for it . I then went

to Starbucks to see if I could try their new ‘Pike Place Roast’, but didn’t have

any cash . I had a gift card that read, free on Wednesday’s only, and of course

this was Thursday . Well, I walked in and waited in line with the intention that

I wanted a cup of this new coffee and that I would buy a cup if I liked the

taste . I asked for a sample and the wonderful person at the counter let me

sample the brew in a short cup, but filled . I asked what the cost of the coffee

would be and she said, “My treat!”

I tell this story to let you know that while I was perturbed in this process, I

remained focused on using my power in a positive way . I asked the universe,

“What is it that I need to learn here?” and remained open for guidance . In

the process I also thanked everyone in the customer service arena who truly

helped me . It was the finally the receptionist at the corporate offices of the

cell phone carrier whom I thanked for getting my message heard . A lesson

for anyone who hears it, the receptionist, a secretary, or executive assistant

is one of your most valuable resources! They are overlooked quite often due

to our perception of their position in companies, but that is just an illusion .

Secretaries . receptionists, and executive assistants are powerful people .

The cup of coffee at Starbucks struck a chord with me . That moment caused


44 45

me to look at everything that had transpired and to be thankful for all of the

things that were going right instead of the things that appeared to go wrong .

This takes practice, but is very rewarding when the seas of life are raging around

you . So, intentional magic is about choosing the state you focus on . As a man

or woman thinks, so they are . By staying committed to keeping my energy

pure and focused, I attracted a set of circumstances that worked for me instead

of against me, and was given a complimentary cup of coffee by the universe .

Thank you God for all you do and have done and thank you Starbucks!





44 45

Day 5When you actively participate in practicing what you think,

you increase the chances of seeing what you will.

The Secret of a Dream Job Board

If someone told you that the secret to finding your dream job/career was

simply to write it down and focus on it with pure intention, what would

you do? Well, I am here to tell you that it’s true . In this chapter, I will share a

process using a more visual representation that helps to get it into your un-

conscious mind in a more effective manner and it’s called a Dream Job Board .

You may ask, what is a Dream Job Board? Well that’s a great question and

you’ve come to the right place . A Dream Job Board is a collection of images

and ideas placed on a sheet of paper or a painter’s canvas based on a particu-

lar theme . Some people call this a vision board . In this case, you are focused

on your dream job, therefore, the images you are interested in will reflect

the job that you want to attract; your dream job . This is an exercise that may


46

DAY 5

seem a little strange to people who are more left hemisphere focused . In any

event, hang in there and try it out today, because this will help create balance

within you .

Euclid and the “Career Square”

According to Euclidean Geometry, a square is a regular polygon with four

equal sides . Figures are congruent when, if one of them were placed on the

other, they would coincide exactly (congruent figures are thus equal to one

another in all respects .)

For those of you who have no idea how this relates to your job search or

your dream job, let me simplify it . In my opinion there are four sides to a

fruitful career:

1.People: you have to love the people .

2.Money: you have to earn enough money .

3.Growth: there has to be growth potential .

4. Balance: there has to be proper balance between work and lifestyle

If at any given time any of these are out of balance with each other they

would be incongruent, hence, the person experiencing the imbalance would

be unhappy, and would eventually seek another opportunity elsewhere . For

example, let’s say you took a job somewhere, and you were being paid a lot

of money, in fact more money than you’ve ever been paid . Additionally, let’s

say you saw tremendous growth opportunity and the ability to increase your

income to be even greater in the future . However, after a certain amount of


46

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47

time you began to realize that you did not like the people or management

team . Eventually you realized that you hated going to work every day because

of the people you worked with . How long do you think you would last be-

fore wanting to go somewhere else? I am willing to suggest that most people

would not stay for the love of money . According to my theory, your square

would be out of balance .

Let’s take the same position and change the scenario . Let’s say that you

loved the people you were working with and the management team, the

money was outstanding, but after being there for a while, you realized that

there was no growth ahead, at least for the next several years . What would

you do? I am willing to suggest that after a reasonable amount of time you

would begin looking for another opportunity .

Again, let’s take the same position and change the scenario again . Let’s say

that you loved the people and the management team, and there was growth in

your future, however, you weren’t making enough money to make ends meet

on a regular basis, what would you do? I am willing to suggest that you would

hang in there as long as you could before searching for a another opportunity .

Finally, let’s take the afore mentioned and suggest that you had all of the

other three; money, people and growth, however, you were spending more

time working than being a responsible partner in a relationship, a parent, or

guardian, being fitness or stress conscious, and/or enjoying life and hobbies .

You would most likely be out of balance . Once again, when any one of these

DAY 5

things are out of balance, at any given time, you will begin to feel the imbal-

ance in your life . According to Euclidian Geometry, when a side of the square

is unequal to one of the other sides, the square is incongruent, therefore, as

you start constructing your Dream Job Board use this formula to help create

clarity and balance so that you construct something that is congruent with

your dreams and lifestyle .

PEOPLE

BA

LA

NC

E GR

OW

TH

MONEY

10%

20%

30%

40%

50%

60%

70%

80%

90%

100%

10%

20%

30%

40%

50%

60%

70%

80%

90%

100%

10%

20%

30%

40%

50%

60%

70%

80%

90%

100%

10%

20%

30%

40%

50%

60%

70%

80%

90%

100%

The four main reasons why people stay with or leave an employer are:

On a scale of 10%-100% rate these 4 items by filling in the area that represents your rating, then fill in the space on the chart on the front of this card that corresponds with the number you have. A 100% rating would mean you are completely satisfied.

(To calculate average, take your total and divide by 4.)

PEOPLEHow do you feel about the people you work with?

a. Your Co-Workers ______

b. Your Managers ______

c. Executive Staff ______

d. Others ______

Total: _____

AVERAGE: _____

MONEYAre you making enough money?

a. Your Salary ______

b. Bonus ______

c. Salary Increase ______

d. Co. Security ______

Total: _____

AVERAGE: _____

GROWTHIs there growth potential in your job?

a. Growth Potential ______

b. Your Growth ______

c. Hiring ______

d. Other ______

Total: _____

AVERAGE: _____

BALANCEDo you have work/life balance?

a. Work Hours/Time ______

b. Take Work Home ______

c. Personal Time ______

d. Spouse/Partner/ Family/Friends Satisfaction ______

Total: _____

AVERAGE: _____

The Euclidean Square Exercise

Take your averages and fill in the areas on

the chart to the left . Look at the pattern it

creates . Is it balanced? Does the pattern

match your ideal?

You can download this chart as a PDF

image from thefriendzone .tv . member

area . Take it and print it out to use it

ongoingly to measure your progress in

attaining your career goals .

DAY 5

49

Are You an Entrepreneur Stuck in an Employee’s Body?

Many of people have entrepreneurial tendencies that can be suppressed

by being in a role that doesn’t allow expression, freedom, or growth . For ex-

ample, I found out a long time ago that I was an entrepreneur like my grand-

father . It didn’t take long to realize that I wasn’t the best employee when I

started down the career path . I wasn’t a terrible performer, in fact I’ve always

prided myself on being exceptional at anything that I set my mind to accom-

plish . However, one of the things that became an issue for me consistently

was being in jobs that didn’t challenge me . I had a pattern of learning the

positions that I took and being bored within a short amount of time . It is

true that many employers want you to prove yourself before promoting you,

that is, if the organization is large enough and they see your value . This is a

route than can be fast paced or slow, depending on you and you’re ability to

work within a system . I made my final determination to go all out and be ‘Self

Employed’ after I realized that I couldn’t play by the house rules . That is to

say, that I wanted to do things my way . You know how the saying goes: “It’s

my way or the highway”—well, I chose the highway . My grandfather always

said, “When you get too old to live by the house rules, it’s time to find your

own house .”

I am not suggesting that being self employed is the solution for everyone,

because it comes with a high level of required discipline and uncertainty . In

fact, the entrepreneurial lifestyle has broken up many marriages and caused


50

DAY 5

lots of pain to many people who walk the path, though there are many who

have enjoyed the fruits of the path as well . I suggest that you take a look at the

questions below and answer them honestly . If you think that you are more

entrepreneurial, that’s something you’ll have to decide .

Are You an Entrepreneur?

Is there an entrepreneur inside of you waiting to come out? Ponder these

basic questions—they may give you some insight into your true self .

These questions will help gauge if you have entrepreneurial tendencies:

1 . Do you feel like you want more from life than just a job? Your feelings

are your way of measuring you desires, but you have to listen closely to

hear what the message is .

2 . Are you passionate? Passion counts for a whole lot when it comes to

being an entrepreneur . It can be the thing that propels upward spirals in

your daily life, even during the challenges of life as a business person .

3 . Are you always looking for opportunities? Entrepreneurs are opportu-

nity-seekers . Everything is an opportunity .

4 . Do you always think to yourself, “I can do that better?” Every time you

walk into a store do you have a thousand ideas on how to make it a

better experience or how to transform a product into a better one?

5 . Are you living your purpose? You weren’t born to work, you were born

to live . You don’t want to work more, you want to work smarter . You

want your work to mean something—you want to leave a legacy .


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6 . Are you a dreamer? Are you a big thinker with the ability to focus on

details? Can you accomplish the little tasks while moving the ball forward?

7 . Are you a builder? Do you like to create things? You don’t care about

recognition, praise from your boss, awards, and money as much as you

care about building something remarkable, and having others enjoy it

and benefit from it .

8 . Are you proactive? Too many people fake their way through life, or

duck their heads when they don’t know the answer . Your response is to

jump into it, learn what you can, move quickly, and get some answers .

9 . Are you a strategist? You’re not just thinking about tomorrow, you’re

thinking much further ahead than that . The difference is that you’re

also a dreamer, and strategy plus dreaming is very powerful .

10 . Are you from a family of entrepreneurs? I believe that entrepreneurs

can be created, but some people also have genes that cause them to be

more independent and entrepreneurial by nature .

Being an entrepreneur doesn’t mean quitting your job and starting from

scratch . Many times it takes capital to fiance your ideas, therefore some startup

capital may be necessary . For some, this will come from continuing to work

full-time, while running your small business on the side . The business could be

as simple as offering your services as a consultant, or selling flowers to wedding

planners; the world is your oyster—it is you who must find the pearls . Some

ideas will require more capital, time and commitment . You are the only one


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who can make that decision . Whatever you decide, do it passionately!

Be an Entrepreneur in Your Own Company

If you are an entrepreneur, you don’t have to quit your job! In fact, the best

managers and leaders of companies have great entrepreneurial minds . Maybe

an assessment of the opportunities in your company is the best route for you

to take . In fact, companies who allow internal entrepreneurship tend to be

more successful than traditional companies that have more rigid structures .

Allowing managers to be internal leaders or entrepreneurs promotes owner-

ship, versus non-ownership . A guy named Ray Crock used this philosophy to

grow a small group of hamburger stands that are now called McDonalds .

Dream Job Board Imagery:

The types of images you’ll want to use will be things that represent what you

want to attract into your life . Be sure to use the present tense, for instance:

1 . What type of product or service do you offer?

2 . What type of people do you work with? Are you working with people

who all love their jobs and are extremely enthusiastic about showing

up to work and doing their job, or are you working with very asser-

tive people who sell like sharks in a feeding frenzy, etc . (you could use

pictures of people .)

3 . What types of companies are you working for—public, private, large,

small, startup company? (you might use pictures of buildings, or com-

panies, large or small .)


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4 . Are you an entrepreneur?

a . What types of service or products do you create? (perhaps use pictures

of your favorite entrepreneurs—products, inventions, etc .)

b . What are your passions? (you could use pictures of something you

are passionate about .)

c . Have you built a small, medium, or large company?

5 . What type of role do you play? Manager, individual contributor, strate-

gic, tactical? Who are some of your favorite examples?

6 . What type of building do you work in? Bright, cubicles, open, luxurious?

7 . How much money did you earn your first year? Small base salary with a

large commission? Large base salary with a small commission? Base sal-

ary plus bonus plus stock options? (be very, very clear about this .)

8 . What type of manager do you report to? Micro-manager? Macro-

manager? A manager who works in a remote location?

9 . What types of products or services are you involved with creating or

offering?

10 . How does this product or service to affect the rest of the world?

11 . Is this a job that requires travel? How much—10 - 20%? 50 - 70%?

12 . How much time do you spend at work?

You’re probably starting to get the picture . Now your job is to take im-

ages that represent these ideas . For instance, newspaper clippings, Internet

images, magazine images, brochures, any way you can take visual images


54 55

of these ideas to glue onto your board in some fashion that makes sense to

you . It is important that you allow yourself to be completely imaginative and

outrageous as you do this, and be sure to have lots of fun in this process . It

is imperative that you have a high level of fun with this project because the

brain is very much like the universe, it will attract the things we have deep

feelings for . So play some music that makes you feel good, have a nice glass

of wine, or do something that gets you into the spirit of feeling really good!

Pretend this is a wish list to Santa and that everything you ask for will be

given . OK, some of you don’t believe in Santa, but this is about using your

imagination to build a world that you deserve!

Exercises: All exercises require an Audio and/or Video Course that is only found in the Dream Job Online Coaching System . Please go to our website (http://tinyurl .com/n3yev3) to complete the daily exercise .




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Day 6When your must is big enough, you have no choice

but to do what you must!

The Secret of Goal Setting

If you were to drive from San Diego to New York in a car during winter,

you would have to have a clear plan in order to arrive safely at your desti-

nation . For instance, you would most likely have a clear idea as to where your

gas stops would be, where you would stop to sleep, and what type of weather

conditions may exist in each state . You would probably have a good sense of

what to do if there was bad weather in a given location .

There are some adventurous people who would simply jump in the car

and take off without a plan or an outcome or any money . For those of you

who enjoy living that way, may life bring you the adventure you desire! For

those of us who enjoy arriving at the destination of our dreams with cer-

tainty, know your outcome . My point is that these things take planning and


56

mapping, which is a form of goal setting . The same can be used in your career

search . After all, creating a dream job or career is a full time job! Therefore,

if you are creating your dream job, recreating yourself, in career transition as

a result of the economy, the real estate market, college graduation, or simply

a job seeker, be clear about what it is you don’t want . This is an excellent way

to understand what you really do want .

Now more than ever it is important that you have a clearly defined out-

come . Remeber, an outcome is your final destination and goals are the mile-

stones or check points along the way that help you to achieve your desired

outcome . This goal setting session is one of the most powerful tools that you

will use . It is taught by Gene McNaughton, the former VP of Sales for Tony

Robbins and John Assaraf (The Secret) . Gene’s passion and drive will inspire

and help transform you—if you do the sessions whole heartedly . This is your

opportunity to design your dream job—do it passionately!

Exercises: To complete the daily exercise go to the Dream Job Online Coaching System:http://tinyurl .com/n3yev3



56

•Part 2

THE TRADE SECRETS

“Today is my day; today I am all that I need to be, to be all that I am”

—Nor Shan


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Day 7If you take one step, the universe will take multiple steps.

The Secret of Resourcefulness: The Power of Social Networks

Now that you’ve created a road map, and the goal-setting work-

shop, and really understand the type of career or job you want to

attract or create, the real question is: what do you need to do next? The

answer is: take massive action!

As a headhunter and career coach for the past decade and a half, I’ve picked

up some really effective tools of the trade, which have become extremely useful

resources . The following are some of the tools that I use when I do one-on-one

sessions with my clients to help their career searches . There are a number of

networking groups and Internet-based networking groups, social networking

groups, and resources at your disposal . You’re probably thinking “where are

they and how do I use them?” The following are some resources and strategies

that you can use right now to get started .


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Ten Valuable Friend Zone Resources for your Job Hunting

1. Networking Groups

Go online and research networking groups that pertain to the type of

work you are interested in . For instance, if you’re interested in growing or-

chids, there is a networking group, blog, or chat room dedicated specifically

to this field of study or work . Also, some networking groups have physical

meetings . I recommend that you get out and rub elbows, because there is

nothing that is as powerful as human interaction . A great tool to help you

with this task is www.Meetup.com . Meetup .com is an amazing online tool

that can help you to identify groups of people in your community who are

dedicated to physical meetings of all types . Specifically related to your job

search, there are meetings occurring every day with people like you who are

sharing strategies and supporting each other during the job search process .

This is a must for your social networking tool box! Staying physically involved

in your job search will help manage your emotional state much more effec-

tively than sitting behind your computer all day .

2. Internet Based Career Social Networks

Contrary to popular belief, social networks are not new inventions . Social

networks are as old as the human species . Humans tend to congregate in

groups we have things in common with, i .e ., church groups, political groups,

fitness groups, biking groups, etc . A social network is a place where we cre-

ate a hub of people we socialize with; hence, a social network is really not a


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new idea . However, the internet has created a way for us to connect faster

and more vastly then ever . Just imagine, any subject that you are interested

in studying or sharing with exists in a “social network” on the Internet some-

where in the world . The Internet has allowed the physical barriers to be re-

moved based on our ability to connect . For a job seeker, this is a pot of gold if

used properly . In just one of my networks to date I’ve amassed a connection

with 15 million people—yes that’s would be the “M” word! I can’t imagine

that out of 15 million people, if you were to join that network for free and

learn to monetize my own personal network (which I have invited you to do)

that you wouldn’t be able to find a job or financing for your new business

endeavor, or a connection to whatever your dream job is .

There are a number of Internet social networking groups that have

emerged over the past few years that are designed to put you in touch with

people; some who are currently working at companies you may be interested

in and some that you may have known in the past . These sites create warm

introductions through a network of friends utilizing technology . On our

website, I’ve created links that go directly to several of my preferred social

networks; these are the ones that I use in the headhunting process .

LinkedIn.com is one of my personal favorite social networking sites . The

Friend Zone has a group on LinkedIn that you can join once you’ve signed

up to LinkedIn . There’s no cost . LinkedIn has a cool video blog that teaches

you how to use its resources—they are ahead of the curve . The resources


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are immense . LinkedIn offers everything from job openings, to people you

may want to network with . It can also help you reach people at companies

you may end up working for . I have created and audio and video training

in the Dream Job Online Coaching System that will take you through the

entire process of using LinkedIn like a headhunter . This will give you a good

solid overview on how to use this powerful networking tool .

The following websites have interesting features that are extremely valuable

as well:

Jobing.com, a video based career social networking site, is on the cutting

edge . Using video, jobing .com will share cutting edge interview tech-

niques, to local companies interesting in hiring . They also have an awe-

some blog . Jobing has offices all over the U .S and growing – Go Jobing!

Facebook.com is amazing . There are over 175 million users as of today

on Facebook and growing . The groups section is a pathway to finding

jobs that are not posted anywhere else .

Craigslist.org—yes, Craigslist . It’s an amazing resource for finding jobs .

Fastpitchnetworking.com is geared toward entrepreneurs and the self-

employed .

Hoovers.com—their connect mail feature is a resource that puts you in

direct contact with many professionals via email . There is a service fee

for this product, but worth it if you can connect directly .

Twitter.com—a new rapport building tool that has phenomenal poten-


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tial . There are also jobs being posted on twitter by recruiters! You may

be asking, how do I use Twitter .com to find a job? Let me tell you this,

there are a ton of headhunters, internal recruiters (people who recruit

for companies) posting jobs on twitter, you simply have to know how

to use the tool to find them .

Plaxo.com has been a standard in the executive world for keeping the

rolodex updated, however, they’ve improved the business model sub-

stantially and have a social networking based site now that has the ability

to put you in touch with decision makers . Plaxo has also recently added

a new job search feature to their site . Plaxo is a gem, but you have to

learn how to use it like a headhunter .

There’s a newcomer to the world of social networks called VisualCV.com .

this is a company that is blazing the trail on the new way people will

be presenting themselves in years to come . Visual CV adds dimension

to the resume or CV and allows an individual to present themselves to

a company with a web-based resume or CV that has audio/video and/

or active links . The candidate has a new ability to create a multimedia

presentation of their skills through this medium . While there is cur-

rently controversy in the HR community regarding images or videos of

candidates because of potential discrimination claims, in my opinion this

format will be the preferred method during the next decade .

There is also a fairly new player on the block called ZoomInfo.com .


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Zoom info is a directory of people and companies (it might be a great

place to also help create your list of 50 companies .) Zoom Info is a tool

used by many headhunters and recruiters who are looking for ‘Pas-

sive’ and ‘Active’ job seekers . Zoom info gives you the ability to create a

professional profile so that you can be found by someone who might be

looking for your experience .

There are a number of resources in the new world of the Internet and

they’re growing every year; I recommend you also check out my blog on

the website, I give a comprehensive list of other companies and social

networks that will be of interest to you .

3. Blogs

A blog is simply a web log . There are blogs now on every topic under the

sun . Look for blogs that pertain to your area of interest regarding your dream

job . Yahoo, Google, and a number of other search engines post blogs, which

drive traffic to their search engine sites . Take time to find a blog that pertains

to an area or career that you are interested in . There are many experts who

blog about things they are passionate about—is there a blog or three that are

pertinent to your area of interest? Blogs often times contain information and

connections that lead to additional people to network with . Many blogs have

the ability to allow you to subscribe via RSS feeds (Rich Site Summary,) this al-

lows you to get regular feeds from the content producers of the site . Be sure to

check out my blog on The Friend Zone .Tv .


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4. Chat Rooms

Chat rooms are simply computer aided conferences . Chat rooms are simi-

lar to blogs, where you can find any topic, relating to any industry or any

interest . Once again, we are really focused on attracting our dream job, there-

fore, when you search chat rooms online, you can go to Google or Yahoo, and

most likely find a chat room that pertains directly to your career . This also

leads to other people working in those areas, and therefore, other resources

that you do not currently have access to .

5. Canvassing

Canvassing is an “old school” technique that still works, especially in areas

where the industry has established itself and the competitors are in the same

neighborhood . Canvassing is the art of physically walking in an area and see-

ing what’s there . It’s the process of going into the actual company, getting a

card from the reception area, and asking a few probing questions about the

company and culture . If you build enough rapport, you can also get the hiring

manager’s name, and in extreme rapport building cases, you can even meet

a decision maker . The benefit to canvassing is that you can get a sense of the

company culture by being in the lobby for a few minutes . This can save you

lots of time in the long run . Just imagine applying for a company online and

getting into their lobby and being completely surprised at the environment;

maybe in a good way, maybe not .

I recommend that you view my rapport building videos before trying this .


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There are two ways to canvass: One is by getting out and driving the streets

knocking on doors . The second way is to use the Internet to identify compa-

nies that you want to apply to . By the way, I recommend both ways .

6. Your Personal Network

Many of us have friends, family, or peers who currently have jobs or careers .

They may work in a completely different field of interest or a similar one, how-

ever, the real key is that they have friends, neighbors, and relatives who may

have some type of affinity for what you’re doing . The question is, how do you

reach the people in someone else’s social sphere? The answer is to talk to your

personal network, which are your friends, family, peers, and neighbors . Let

them know that you read a book about attracting the job of your dreams and

that you are looking for people to help you find it . Put it out to the universe!

Be sure to invite them to your Internet-based social networks, ie: LinkedIn or

Facebook, Plaxo, Twitter, etc . This will allow you to expand your warm net-

work very quickly within your friend network, and by now you probably know

my mantra — If your not a friend, your just another job seeker.

7. Newspapers

The newspaper is almost an antiquated way of getting information . It con-

tains a tiny percentage of all jobs openings, and that number is declining .

That’s because the Internet has replaced many of the newspaper industry’s

functions . However don’t underestimate antiques, there is still information in

newspapers—many are now published online for free! I do recommend that


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you use them as a resource . However, in my course, I don’t recommend that

you apply directly online to a company, or at least not initially . The first thing

you’ll want to do is put the company on your list and do some research, then

use the Friend Zone technique that I teach in the video course that focuses

on The Power of Social Networks—How to Use LinkedIn like a Headhunter.

8. Trade Journals

If you have a specific trade, there’s probably a publication that caters to your

trade . These publications typically have job ads and other resources that per-

tain directly to your industry of choice . Many times there are also job boards

that cater to your trade . Often these resources are free . The IEEE .org is a great

example of the power of trade organizations . They’ve created their own social

network that is humongous! Many organizations are starting to understand

and utilize the power of the Internet, specifically by creating social networks

that attract unique visitors—people who have a need for their specific niche .

Many of these boards have jobs that are posted by companies, recruiters and

others who are seeking the help of individuals with industry specific experi-

ence . Is there a network that exists out there that caters to your specific need?

9. Internet and Job Boards

Using the Internet to find a job is a common practice these days . Many

companies post internal openings on their web sites . A percentage of compa-

nies utilize job boards like Monster .com, Hot Jobs .com, Career Builder .com,

etc ., to post their job ads . I personally recommend using these job boards to


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identify opportunities to find out what types of jobs exist out there, but not

applying directly to these jobs via the Internet – there is a better way . By the

way, a few of my favorite search engines for jobs are: Indeed .com, Juju .com,

and Simplyhired .com . We are constantly updating our list of job search re-

sources on TheFriendZone .Tv . Again, use my video training course to fortify

your internet searches, this will change the way you look for a job, forever!

10. Headhunters, Recruiters and Agencies

Headhunters and recruiters are similar, though there are some differenc-

es . A headhunter is typically a person who’s a third-party entity responsible

for finding candidates to work for companies, even though candidates are

considered clients as well . A headhunter is usually most loyal to the corpo-

rate client, because they are the party paying the bill . Recruiters are typically

people who work inside of companies, most often referred to as internal re-

cruiters . Their allegiance is to the corporate client as well, and their focus is

on handling the administrative process between the hiring manager and the

external candidate . An agency is typically a company that houses headhunt-

ers or recruiters . Many headhunters refer to themselves as recruiters as well .

That being said, if you find a good headhunter, they are worth their weight

in gold . Honesty, integrity, and good communication is a must with a head-

hunter . When engaged with a third party headhunter or recruiter, this person

should be your guide through the job-seeking process . This process requires

open communication between you and your partner (your recruiter .) There-


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fore, there should be a high level of trust in this relationship . Be aware, there

are many headhunters/recruiters in the business just out to make a quick

buck . Screen them well and hold them accountable and they should do the

same with you . A successful interaction with a good recruiter is a partner-

ship . Keep a spreadsheet of all people and places where your resume is being

distributed . This will pay off in the long run .

According to research, there are more jobs than you think—typically 1 .2

million to 2 .5 million new openings per month exist in the United States

alone . So when you say to yourself you can’t find a job, the real question is:

where are you looking and are you using more than one technique? Most im-

portantly, you must focus on how to build relationships with people versus,

simply applying online for a job . Burn my mantra into your brain; If you’re not

a friend, you’re just another job seeker!

The tools and sites that I’ve just suggested all have one common theme: Rap-

port Building!





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Day 8A resume is just like a business card, don’t make it too heavy.

The Secret of an Enticing Resume

The true purpose of a resume is to be an advertisement! There is a ton

of free information on this topic, and there are also companies that will

write your resume for you for a fee . Either way, the purpose of a resume is sim-

ply to get you further in the process, and to get someone to notice you . The

average company gets thousands of resumes per week, thus, the average hiring

manager or HR person spends three to fifteen seconds perusing resumes, and

when something catches their eye, they’ll spend more time looking . The real

question is: how do we get your resume to stand out? This is why calling into the

company is by far one of the more successful approaches that headhunters use .

However, when you’ve gotten someone interested, be sure that your resume is

ready to be shown . I recommend that you pay a professional service to write

your resume . You only have three to fifteen seconds to grab the hiring manager


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or HR rep’s attention . When you grab their attention, there had better be a great

resume in front of them . The cost of a great resume is worth the payoff of an

interview . The resume is a tool with one specific purpose: to win an interview .

A resume is just an advertisement—nothing more, nothing less . I recommend a

few resume writing services on TheFriendZone .TV website .

A great resume doesn’t just show what you have done, it makes the same as-

sertion that all good ads do: if you buy this product, you will get these specific,

direct benefits . It presents you in your best light . It convinces the employer that

you have what it takes to be successful in this new position or career .

There are three fundamental resume formats: Chronological, Functional

and Combinational . These three resume writing formats highlight the positive

points in you .

•ChronologicalResume:

A chronological resume format lists all your service experience and

qualifications in reverse-chronological order, which means, it starts with

your most recent experience and proceeds further with your old experi-

ence . Chronological resume formats are more widely used than the other

two types of resume formats . One more advantage of a chronological

resume is that it is easiest to write .

•FunctionalResume:

A functional resume moves around your functional skill sets, rather than the

various jobs positions you have held . You can omit previous employment


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history or put it in different section . This functional resume format allows

you to highlight your skill set that suits the job you are looking for . It is very

useful if you want to change your career outline in any specific field .

•CombinationalResume:

A combinational resume format, as its name suggests, is a combination

of both of the previously discussed formats . It presents your professional

experiences and qualifications in reverse-chronological order within each

functional skill headings . The best way to write your resume is by using

this resume format if you are among those who have held many different

positions in different fields . It is not suitable for entry-level jobseekers .

12 Friend Zone Strategies for an Enticing Resume

1 . A resume is like an advertisement . The resume is not about past jobs;

it’s about you and how you performed in those past jobs, which pre-

dict how you would perform in a future job .

2 . The resume is visually enticing, is simple, and easy to read . As much

white space between sections of writing as possible; sections of writing

that are no longer than six lines and shorter if possible . Use white paper

(no fancy colors) and 10 – 12 point font size . There have been a number

of studies done on fonts and their appeal . The top three that have been

perceived as more business-like are: Courier, Georgia, and Times .

3 . The resume has uniformity and consistency in the use of italics, capital

letters, bullets, boldface type, and underlining—it utilizes parallelism


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in design decisions and has consistency . For example, if a period is

at the end of one job’s dates, a period should be at the end of all jobs’

dates; if one degree is in boldface type, all degrees should be in bold-

face type . As mentioned above, the resume’s first impression is most

important . It should be exceptionally visually appealing to be inviting

to the reader .

4 . The resume is error-free—no typographical errors, no spelling errors,

no grammar, syntax, or punctuation errors, no errors of fact . Triple-

check this, and then have several other people read it for errors . The

human brain has the tendency to skim words .

5 . A resume has standard information . A resume must have the fol-

lowing key information: your name, address, phone number, email

address, Linkedin address and/or Facebook address at the top of the

first page; a listing of jobs held, in reverse chronological order, and

educational degrees including the highest degree received, in reverse

chronological order . Additionally, targeted information will accom-

pany this . Some information that candidates use is not necessary, but

the standard information is a must .

6 . The resume has consistency in positions and titles held . Jobs listed

include a title, the name of the firm, the city and state of the firm, and

the years employed there . Jobs earlier in a career can be summarized

or omitted if prior to the highest degree, and extra part-time jobs can


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be omitted . If no educational degrees have been completed, it is still

expected to include some mention of education (professional study or

training, partial study toward a degree, etc .) acquired after high school .

7 . The resume focuses on the employer’s needs, not yours . A resume

should be targeted to your goal; to the ideal next step in your career .

First you should be clear about what your job goal is, what the ideal

position or positions would be . Then you should figure out what key

skills, areas of expertise or body of experience the employer will be

looking for in the candidate . Gear the resume structure and content

around this target, proving these key qualifications . If you have no

clear goal, take the skills (or knowledge) you most enjoy or would

like to use or develop in your next career step and build the resume

around those .

8 . The resume focuses on highlighting strengths and de-emphasizing

weaknesses . Focus on whatever is strongest and most impressive .

Make careful and strategic choices as to how to organize, order, and

convey your skills and background . Consider whether to include the

information at all, placement in the overall structure of the resume,

location on the page itself or within a section, ordering of information,

more impressive ways of phrasing the information, and use of design

elements (such as boldface type to highlight, italics to minimize, ample

surrounding space to draw the eye to certain things .)


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9 . A resume needs an initial focus to help the reader understand your

capabilities immediately . Don’t make the reader go through the whole

resume to figure out what your profession is and what you can do . An

initial focus may be as simple as the name of your profession (“Chief

Bottle Washer,” “Head Storyteller”) centered under the name and ad-

dress; it may be in the form of an objective, it may be in the form of a

summary statement or better, a summary statement beginning with a

phrase identifying your profession . This is also an opportunity for the

reader to see how well you write and clearly describe ideas on paper .

10 . Use powerful words . For every skill, accomplishment, or job de-

scribed, use the most active, impressive verb you can think of (which

is also accurate .) Begin the sentence with this verb, except when you

must vary the sentence structure to avoid repetitious writing .

11 . Personalize the objective, ie: “As a recent graduate of psychology, i

am interested in joining the Marriott corporate family to further my

skills in industrial psychology .”

12 . Spell-out acronyms in addition to using them, (ie: FDA; Food

and Drug Administration .) This helps the Applicant Tracking

System (ATS) find matches . Most companies and job boards use

ATS systems .

Create a Business Plan

If you have chosen to start your own business versus seeking a job or ca-


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reer for another company, you may want to look at doing a business plan . A

business plan is used for several reasons . The first is so that you can map out

what you are thinking in a clear and concise format . This will allow you and

others to see how sound your idea is or isn’t . Secondly, the plan can be used

to help raise capitol . Most banks or investors will want to see an executive

summary first, and then a solid business plan before investing . I won’t go into

great detail here on business plans, however, if you are creating your dream

job by starting a business there are a number of resources online that you can

use to help create a winning business plan . Google “business plan” and get a

clear understanding as to what it is and how it can help you . You will need

to have your bio written for the executive summary and business plan . The

resume writing information should help you to write a very nice bio .

Exercise:

Resources: These sites have resume building tools, tips, tutorials, and examples that will guide you through the entire process of writing a cover letter and resume:

www.Americasjobexchange.com•www.Acinet.orgwww.Jobstar.org•www.FreeResumeWorld.com

All exercises require an Audio and/or Video Course that is only found in the Dream Job Online Coaching System . Please go to our website (http://tinyurl .com/n3yev3) to complete the daily exercise .




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Day 9On a clear day, I can see the ocean.

On a cloudy day the same ocean isn’t there.

The Secret of Clarity and Process

Have a clearly defined process . Know who your competition is and

how they are doing the business you are interested in investing in .

Now that you’ve identified 50 potential companies, go to each company’s

web site and do the following:

The Ten Friend Zone Steps to Clarity and Process (These work for entrepreneurs also .)

1. The company’s Website. Go to the career section of the company’s

Website and look at culture statements, mission statements, benefits,

history, leadership and management team, investors and partners,

products, R&D pipeline, and financials (this is extremely important, you

don’t want to go to work for someone who’s running out of money .)

A hot tip is to see if the company is a “best workplace environment .” A


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best workplace environment is a rating given by certain third-party orga-

nizations and based on a point system and employee interview process,

deeming the company a desired place to work . Companies like Google,

Cisco, Quicken, Genentech, Allergan, Microsoft, etc ., have been rated as

best workplace environments . Finally look at the company’s career page

to see if there are any jobs that match your skills . Be sure to write down

the company’s general phone numbers . Use the 800 numbers if they have

them, it’s less expensive for you this way!

2.Processofelimination.Now you should have an idea as to what your

50 dream companies look like . You should have also eliminated a few

companies based on what you’ve seen, such as corporate culture, finan-

cials, and any other criteria that the company didn’t match . It’s okay to

eliminate companies from the list . Now in your Dream Job Journal cre-

ate a list of companies that match your dream job .

3. Find people who work there. Utilizing your dream job list, go online

to LinkedIn .com and Facebook .com to find people who work at these

companies . Linkedin .com is one of the first resources that many execu-

tive recruiters and internal recruiters use to find people who work in

companies they want to penetrate . In your Dream Job Journal, under

the actual companies, start making a list of the names of the people who

work at the companies . Be sure to include the city that people work in

as well . since many companies have multiple locations . Do this exercise


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for all of the companies you have on your list before you go any further .

That means stop right now and do it!

4.Prepareyourelevatorpitch.You’re now preparing to talk with people

about yourself–you want make sure that you have your elevator pitch

ready . This should be a short concise statement that highlights three of

your top attributes in a very fast and factual way, no more than 30 sec-

onds . Also, be ready to talk more in depth about any of the three high-

lights that you’ve mentioned in detail if you’re asked to . Keep in mind

that this is your opportunity to brag about yourself without being overly

boisterous . You also want to be very sincere and utilize your listening

skills (see the 12 Active Listening Tips document in the addendum .)

5.Informationalinterview.Call the individuals from your list and ask

if you can do an informational interview . This is a common interview

that many college students use to get more information on companies .

This is a great way to get the inside scoop on the company as well as

making a new internal friend who may be able to put a good word in for

you . You can use LinkedIn .com to accomplish this, using the “Inmail”

feature . Call the person directly if their name and company is displayed .

If you’re an entrepreneur, this could be a list of venture capital firms,

investment banking or business development people who are looking to

acquire new ideas .

STOP and do this now!


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In the Exercise Addendum starting on page 123: a) Study the script for Calling into Companies Cold b) Use the questions for phone networking c) Study my rapport-building video d) Study my telephone interviewing video before conducting this part

of the program

6. Ask for the name of the hiring manager. At this point, you’ve probably

identified a few positions online at some of your dream companies . The

contacts that you’ve identified will help you get closer to the decision makers

if you’ve executed the strategy properly . These are going to be hiring manag-

ers and human resource personnel . Human resource reps have the function

of making sure things get done internally; hiring managers are the dominant

decision-makers in the process, with regard to hiring for their departments .

Your job is to find the hiring managers and HR reps to do an informational

interview . How is this done? When you call someone from your list of new

friends, you simply ask who the hiring manager is for the department . Entre-

preneurs should use the same strategy with venture capitalists or investors .

7. Ask for a referral. Now that you have the hiring manager or department

head’s name, you should also ask this person if they would be comfortable al-

lowing you to use their name or if they could introduce you . In some cases this

person will want to forward your resume to the hiring manager or to human

resources . This is a good sign, because you’ve actively gotten someone from the

inside on your team to help you move forward in the process . Great job!


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8. Talk to the hiring or HR manager. The process is going to be similar

to talking to one of your networking friends . You identify yourself as a

networking professional, state your name and purpose, and always ask if

it is a good time—this a rapport-building technique that should last no

more than five seconds . Then give your 15 to 30 second elevator pitch,

then listen (I highly recommend you watch the Phone Interviewing

Technique video on TheFriendZone .Tv .)

9. You are not selling or asking for a job. At this point, the hiring or HR

manager is going to be interested in receiving your resume or not . Re-

member, you’re not selling anything . This is an indirect sales technique—

an informational interview only .

10.Theoutcomeisgettinginterviews.If everything has gone accord-

ing to plan, and it will if you do this meticulously, someone on that list of

companies is going to be interested in seeing you or helping you achieve

your outcome . Someone on that list of companies may be interested in

interviewing you . Your goal is to get several interviews so that you have

the potential for several offers . The real desired outcome is to have an

offer from a few companies that fit your dream profile .





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Day 10Opportunity is your best friend,

all you have to do is greet her with open arms.

The Secret to Phone Interviewing

Be prepared to sell yourself over the phone first! Employers use telephone

interviews as a way of identifying and recruiting candidates for employ-

ment . Phone interviews are often used to screen candidates in order to narrow

the pool of applicants who will be invited for in-person interviews . They are also

used as ways to minimize the expenses involved in interviewing out-of-town

candidates . Teleconferences are also beginning to gain favor among executives .

While you are actively job searching, it’s important to be prepared for a

phone interview on a moment’s notice . You never know when a recruiter or a

networking contact might call and ask if you have a few minutes to talk .

Be Prepared to Interview

Prepare for a phone interview or teleconference just as you would for a


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regular interview . Compile a list of your strengths and weaknesses, as well as

a list of questions you’ll want to know about the hiring manager’s expecta-

tions, style of management, and the company culture . You will probably get

questions asking you to show that you actually have the skills to accomplish

the goals for the open position . Be prepared to give examples of how you have

performed at work in the past in order to show your skill set . Also, be ready

for a question about the most obvious problem on your resume – frequent

job changes or big gaps in work . These are answers you should practice . Even

if your answer isn’t great, a good delivery can make the difference between

getting through a phone screen or not .

Phone Skills 101

The following are the keys to successful phone interviewing . Follow

these simple rules and you should achieve success in this important phase

of job-hunting .

In our modern day of communication, you will most likely have to inter-

act with a voice messaging system . Always remember, if your voicemail is the

first communication a hiring manager will be getting from you, make sure

that you have a rehearsed message . A good message can lead to a call back; a

mediocre message can lead to no interest .

HowtoLeaveaPhoneMessage

Most people have hoards of messages and e-mails everyday, therefore, if

the message is too long or too informative, you stand the chance of losing


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your audience . A phone message should be short, concise and to the point .

Remember, you don’t want to leave a resume . For example:

Hello Mr. Nash, I’m returning your phone call regarding our phone meet-

ing. I’m very excited about the (position name goes here) opportunity and do

look forward to exploring how my skills might add value to your team. Please

call me at (phone number,) I will be there from x until x (time/what time zone;

i.e. 3pm - 4pm eastern standard.) Looking forward to your call, (your name.)

DosandDon’tsonPhoneMessages

Leave only one voice message! Call back in 2 days if you haven’t gotten

a return call . Leave a second message—this should be very short, (i .e . Mr .

Nash, I’m following up on your message to me and looking forward to chat-

ting . Once again, my number is x and e-mail is x .) If no call back comes after

the third day, don’t leave anymore messages! I’m sure you’ve seen the movies

where the guy is so excited to talk to the girl and leaves too many messages

on her voicemail, the same applies here . Call the company and ask for the

receptionist; have them page the person you are looking for . This will let

you know if the person is in the office or not . You’d be surprised how many

times hiring managers get called off to do other things . If you do get the hir-

ing manager on the phone, simply state your name and let them know that

you’ve left a couple of messages and really wanted to connect with them, i .e .

Mr . Nash, this is John Alverson, I wanted to make sure we connected . I’ve

had a very busy schedule and didn’t want to miss the opportunity to talk with


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you regarding your opening, is this a good time? If yes, then proceed, if no,

ask when they can schedule a call or if they are available after business hours,

and then get their cell phone number .

Some Dos and Don’ts When You Are on the Call

DO give accurate and detailed contact information in your cover letter so

your interviewers can easily connect with you . (i .e . your email address,

cell phone and home number as well as your address)

DON’T have an inappropriate song or long greeting on your answering

machine or voice mail (i .e . “Hey yall, wassup .” In other words, separate

your personal from your professional image .)

DO ensure that household members understand the importance of phone

messages in your job search .

DO know what job you are interviewing for and the position title . Have

the job description if possible .

DO practice, if possible . Have a friend call you to do a mock phone inter-

view so you get the feel of being interviewed over the phone . Anticipate

various types of personalities, not everyone is going to be like you!

DO make sure you are in a place where you can read notes, take notes,

and concentrate .

DO consider keeping an outline in front of you to remind yourself of key

points you want to cover with the interviewer . You don’t want your respons-

es to sound scripted, nor do you want to fumble for important points .


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DO also have your resume in front of you so you can remember highlights

of your experience and accomplishments .

DO ensure that you can hear and are being clearly heard . Do this from a

land line if possible

DO consider standing when being interviewed on the phone . Some

experts say you’ll sound more professional than if you’re slouching in an

easy chair .

DO dress as though you were interviewing for the phone interview . It may

sound silly since the interviewer can’t see you, but you really will project

a more professional image if you’re dressed for the part .

DON’T feel you have to fill in the silences by over talking . If you’ve

completed a response, but the interviewer hasn’t asked his or her next

question, don’t start talking just to fill in airtime . Instead, ask a question

of your own related to your last response .

DON’T panic if you have special needs . If you are hearing-impaired, for

example, phone interviews are still possible . You will need to let the

company know in advance so that they can accommodate your request

in advance .

DON’T sniffle, sneeze, or cough . If you can’t avoid these behaviors, say

“excuse me .” Additionally, if you have a cold or allergies and have symp-

toms before your conversation, let the interviewing know in advance

that you have the condition . Most people are very understanding .


90

DON’T chew gum or food, or drink anything noisy . Additionally, be sure

that you are in an environment that is not noisy or that your friends or

family are aware of what you are doing so that they can respect your time .

DO create a strong finish to your phone interview with thoughtful ques-

tions . Remember, you are also interviewing the interviewer . Be prepared

to ask intelligent questions, i .e ., How long have you been with the com-

pany? What are some of the reasons you continue to be excited about

the company? What are some of your goals for your department?

ClosingthePhoneCall

Offer something in return, i .e . “Mr . Nash, thank you so much for this time,

I’ve really enjoyed our conversation and am excited about the prospect of in-

terviewing with your team . What’s our next step?” The object is to get a com-

mitment for an in-person meeting . “Also, in the interim, is there anything I

can do for you in return?”





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Day 11It is better to prepare your parachute before jumping out of the plane.

The Secret of Interviewing in Person

An interview is your opportunity to show your stuff! Okay this is where

it gets fun . Not that we haven’t had fun so far, however the interview-

ing process is where the show begins, so get ready to show yourself off! There

are several types of interviewing techniques from situational interviewing,

designed to challenge you with theoretical or hypothetical situations to see

how well you respond . Stress interviewing is intended to induce stress to see

how well you can handle yourself or a team . Technical Interviews focuse on

problem solving skills and creativity . The questions will aim at your problem

solving skills, and likely will show your ability and creativity . Sometimes these

interviews will be on a computer module with multiple choice questions . The

most common types are:are traditional interviewing, intended to focus on

your beliefs, professional or management style, and behavioral interviewing,


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intended to ask questions about general situations, with the candidate asked

to describe how they handled a specific problem . There are also companies

who have blended traditional and behavioral interview techniques . These

steps are effective even if you are meeting with investment bankers or ven-

ture capitalist or investors to pitch funding your dream .

Interviewing 101: Dos and Don’ts

This is an interesting area because various industries have different rules,

however the one thing you want to do is always put your best foot forward .

It’s always better to over dress than to under dress . Corporate America on the

East Coast, i .e ., New York, Boston, etc . employs a more formal style of dress-

ing . Dark suits and outfits fit in very well in that environment . On the West

Coast there is a less formal atmosphere (must be the weather .) Sports jackets

and earth tones are more acceptable . Every region and industry will have their

own code . If you are a chef, you are going to dress differently than a CPA . Do

your homework—go to the company in advance to see how what type of atmo-

sphere is being created, then dress up a notch . Be sure your shoes are polished

and shiny or clean and presentable . Dress for success!

If you are not the type of person who irons your clothes, be sure to have

a couple of outfits pressed by a dry cleaner hanging in your closet and shoes

shined or clean and ready to go . Men, be sure that your tie, socks, and belt are

color coordinated; have your spouse or friends help . Someone who works in

a clothing store may also be a great help with this . Women, be sure that skirts


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and tops are not too revealing and that you don’t go to an interview with

open toe shoes . There have been several occasions where I’ve had ‘perfect’

candidates do great on the phone only to ruin the interview in person based

on their choice of clothing . Keep your colors neutral—job interviewing is not

a fashion show unless you are in the fashion or entertainment industry .

Be sure to cover up obvious tattoos; unless you are working in an industry

that is friendly to this type of thing, corporate America still has some years

of change in front of it before that becomes the norm . These may sound like

basic things, but many people BLOW their chances every day by not know-

ing these types of things .

PersonalHygiene

Many of you may be thinking, “why are you even writing about this?”

I’ve been preparing people for years and have heard some interesting sto-

ries, things you wouldn’t believe . So, just to keep this simple; shower or

bathe, brush your teeth, comb or brush your hair, use deodorant, or a

natural antiperspirant, don’t wear perfumes or colognes (someone may

be allergic), and make sure you have fresh breath . Make sure your finger-

nails are clean and trim, there’s nothing like looking at someone who’s

nicely dressed with dirty un-manicured fingernails . Finally, look in the

mirror before you go to the interview or have someone look you over . If

you don’t know anyone go to a local store or restaurant and ask someone

for their opinion .


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Smokers

If you smoke this might be a good time to consider quitting! But really, it’s

important not to smell like an ashtray at your interview . My strongest advice:

Don’t smoke the morning or day of your interview . Be sure to keep your breath

and clothes smelling fresh . The smell of smoke on someone can be very offensive

to a non smoker, and if this non smoker is a hiring manager, you diminish your

chances of being hired immediately . I had a hiring manager who almost revoked

an offer after it was made, when he found out the candidate smoked . This is

obviously illegal, however, if you smoke you already know that smokers don’t

have the same rights as non-smokers . One of the challenges is that many smok-

ers are not conscious of the effects smoke or the smell of smoke has on people,

therefore, taking all precautions to ensure your success is important . If you are

a smoker, I’m not telling you to quit smoking, but you may want to find other

ways to handle that habit . If you smoke regularly and need periodic breaks, use a

product to take away the desire for cigarettes and tobacco products . There is one

that I know of which is fairly new to the market called smokerZchoice (on the

web: www .nic-erase .com .) This product not only tastes great, but helps to reduce

cravings as well as relieve nervous tension and irritability .

Interviewing

The most important thing is to be prepared . People who are well prepared

do much better than people who aren’t, which keeps your stress level lower .

Know who you are interviewing with! Ask for a schedule of the interview


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when it is arranged if one is not offered . Memorize the names of your inter-

viewers . Also, ask if there is an application process and complete this prior to

arriving at the interview . You don’t want to be sitting in the lobby filling out

that dreaded application for 30 minutes after your day is completed . Have

everything ready 24 to 48 hours before the interview . This means copies of

your resume, dry-cleaned clothing, Powerpoints, research, and any materi-

als necessary for the interview . Also, have driving directions to the company

already printed . It’s always a good idea to drive to the company a few days

before the interview so that you’ll be certain about where you have to go . Be

at least 15 minutes early and wait in the lobby . If you get there earlier, wait in

your car, you don’t want to be too early .

TraditionalInterviewing

Traditional interviewing uses broad questions such as: “Why would you

want to work for this company? Tell me about yourself . Tell me about your

strengths and weaknesses .” Success or failure in these types of interviews is

based on the job seeker’s ability to communicate more than the truthfulness

or content of your answers . Employers are typically looking to answer these

three questions:

1 . Does the job seeker have the skills and ability to perform the job?

2 . Does the job seeker have the enthusiasm and work ethic that the employer expects?

3 . Will the job seeker be a team player and fit into the organization .?


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The following 10 questions will help you prepare for a traditional inter-

view, however, I recommend you utilize the online resources we’ve suggest-

ed to expand your knowledge in this area . I recommend that you practice

interviewing with a coach or practice buddy utilizing the list of questions

that follows, as well as utilizing the Internet to find more questions .

Ten Traditional Interview Questions

1 . How would you describe yourself?

2 . What specific goals, including those related to your occupation, have you established for your life?

3 . How has your college experience prepared you for a business career?

4 . Please describe the ideal job for you .

5 . What do you expect to be doing in five years?

6 . Tell me about a major problem you recently handled . Were you suc-cessful in resolving it?

7 . What specific goals have you established for your career?

8 . What will it take to attain your goals, and what steps have you taken toward attaining them?

9 . What do you think it takes to be successful in this career?

10 . How do you determine or evaluate success? Give me an example of one of your successful accomplishments .


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Behavioral Interviewing

There are two dominant schools of behavioral interviews; The Lominger

and The Hay Group methods . Both are systems that are taught and used in

corporate America . Behavioral interviewing emphasizes past performance

and behavior to predict future performance and behaviors . As a consequence,

candidates unprepared for the rigor of behavioral interviewing usually do

not fare well . Remember, practicing the list of common interview questions

no longer works . When using behavioral interviewing techniques the inter-

viewer will ask open-ended questions relating to your behavior in past situ-

ations and will try to match these with the pre-set requirements of the role .

Behavior-based interview questions require you to provide specific examples

of what you have done in the past and usually take the form of:

1 . Tell me about a time when you . . .

a . …had to accept a decision you did not agree with .

b . …concluded a project that exceeded your expectations .

c . …had to deal with a difficult co-worker .

2 . Give an example of a situation where you had to make an ethical choice .

3 . Describe a situation where your actions or decision caused you

problems and how you resolved it .

Many interviewers will ask for examples within the last year (Hay Group

method) in order to keep your recollection fresh . These questions are de-

signed to gather detailed evidence and you will find that once you have given


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your answer the interviewer will probe deeper and may pick certain aspects

of your answer to investigate further . Be prepared for questions such as:

1 . How exactly did you do that?

2 . Tell me exactly what you said to her .

3 . What was the basis for that decision? Would you do it differently in

the future?

By delving more deeply into the detail of your answer the interviewer

knows that it becomes very difficult for you to sustain a fabricated story . Be-

havioral questions provide the interviewer details about your behavior, but

also communicate information on your knowledge of the job and reason-

ing in making choices . It is important that you consider the question care-

fully before forming your answer, and maximize your opportunity to com-

municate both behavioral information, and job knowledge . Choose answers

based on real experiences that you have had and be ready to give details . Your

analysis of the job description and research of the company will have helped

you get a good idea of the key competencies of the job and the culture of the

organization . This will help you to anticipate the types of questions you will

be asked in the interview . Your response needs to be relevant and sufficiently

detailed . Be specific and tell a story .

How to Prepare for a Behavioral Interview

Companies that employ behavioral interviewing have predetermined the

skill sets they require for a particular position . These skill sets could include:


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decision making and problem solving, leadership, motivation, communica-

tion, interpersonal skills, planning and organization, critical thinking skills,

team building, and the ability to influence others . The company determines

the skill sets by doing a detailed analysis of the position they are seeking to

fill . Job seekers also must go through this same process . To conduct a job

analysis the job seeker should ask questions such as:

1 . What are the necessary skills to do this job?

2 . What makes a successful employee?

3 . What would make an unsuccessful employee?

4 . Why have people left this position previously?

5 . What is the most difficult part of this job?

Once you have landed the interview, keep in mind the following points:

•Bedetailedandspecific

•Developedthreestoriesthatillustrateyourpastperformance

•Rememberthattheinterviewerwillbeoperatingundertheprem-

ise that past performance in a similar setting is the best predictor of

future performance .

The best way to accomplish this is to use the three-step STAR process or

1 . Situation or Task

2 . Action

3 . Result


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You might recount a time when communication within your work group

had broken down (Situation .) To resolve the problem, you organized infor-

mal lunch meetings for people to discuss relevant issues (Action .) Morale

then improved, as did the lines of communication (Result .) Using this three

step STAR process is a powerful way for you to frame your experiences and

accomplishments for the interviewer .

Another great way to prepare is by using this four-step PARS process or

1 . Problem

2 . Action

3 . Resolution

4 . Solution

Once again, you might recount a time when communication within your

work group had broken down (Problem .) To resolve the problem, you orga-

nized informal lunch meetings for people to discuss relevant issues (Action .)

Morale then improved, as did the lines of communication (Resolution .) As an

additional step in the process you created a way for employees to voice their

opinion using a suggestion box (Solution .) PARS is another powerful four-

step process that allows you to frame your experiences and accomplishments

for the interviewer .

Don’t ramble . While it’s hard to determine what’s going to be asked, talk-

ing too much and going into rambling tangents can get you into trouble in a

behavioral interviewing session . Be sure to listen carefully to each question,


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take silent time to formulate your response, rephrase the question before

answering, then respond and be sure to recall your past accomplishments

vividly . The great thing about behavioral interviewing is that it allows the

interviewee to talk about real-life experiences as they relate to the position,

thus eliminating anyone who doesn’t have real experience .

Recovery Strategies

We all experience mental blocks from time to time and stressful job inter-

views seem to encourage this at the most inopportune time . The most com-

mon problem, for behavioral interviewees is when they are unable to think

of an example . I’ve seen excellent, articulate candidates block in this situation

and begin fixating on the fact that they can’t think of anything . As discussed

earlier, target fixation will get you more target fixation! STOP! Tell the inter-

viewer you can’t think of an example at the moment and ask her if she has

an alternative question (most Behavioral Event methods have two questions

for each competency) or if you can come back to that question later . Make

sure you follow-up and answer the original question before concluding the

interview, even if not prompted .

More jobs are lost by rambling than by any other single reason . Remember,

it has already been determined that you are qualified . I once witnessed an il-

legal drug runner getting a ticket for an illegal lane change . When the officer

was through writing the ticket, the criminal for no reason invited the officer to

search his vehicle . Today he’s in jail . Interviewers are trained to stay silent and


102

allow candidates to continue to produce information . A friend and colleague

of mine developed a simple polite solution to breaking this impasse . When you

are finished, simply ask, “Does that answer your question?” If not, follow-up

with the interviewer’s instructions . If so, the interviewer must now move on .






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Day 12“A-B-C.

A-always, B-be, C-closing. Always be closing! Always be closing!”—Glen Gary Glen Ross (movie)

The Secret to Closing the Deal (The Offer)

If you don’t ask for it, someone else might! Have you ever noticed how

fearless children are? They will do anything as well as ask for any-

thing without fear of any repercussion . Many times these rules determine

what we are comfortable or uncomfortable doing . Think about it, when

you were a kid, most likely it wasn’t an issue for you ask your parents or

guardian for something that you really wanted until you got it! My chil-

dren are good at this and it works . What changed? You learned certain

rules or beliefs that were engrained from childhood that determine how

you currently behave in certain situations . Ultimately, many adults end

up playing it safe and not pushing the envelope, in fear of disturbing the

system or status quo . Most of us don’t live like we were dying . The un-


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fortunate part of the feelings that we create in becoming adults is that

they tend to show up in the interview process, which is where it hurts the

most . Most people are not as direct as many trained sales professionals,

however there are some techniques I’d like to share with you to help you

achieve the same outcome .

This is one of the most important parts of the process . There is an old

adage in show business that says, “It’s how you start and end the show

that people will remember .” The same applies to interviewing . Finish with

a strong close . I’ve had the pleasure of working with a large number of

candidates and working hard to bring the deal in so that the client and

candidate are happy with the results . Remember, the company has a bud-

get that they have allotted for all positions and the general strategy is

to make an offer in the middle of the range so that they can give you an

increase when your review period is at hand . Asking for too much money

can break negotiations down . This is a fragile area, but a necessary one . I

always tell the candidates I coach that we will stretch the rubber band as

much as possible before it breaks . Our mission is to get the best possible

offer, not to be unreasonable . When executing these strategies be sure

that you are confident and congruent . In other words, if you don’t sound

and feel convincing, you will not be perceived that way .


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Several Closing Strategies That Work

Imaginativeapproach:imagineyourselfalreadyontheteam

In this method, you talk as though you are already part of the team by using

words such as “we,” “us,” and “our” during the conversation . These are consid-

ered inclusive language patterns and create the idea that you are part of the

team . Naturally, this is the feeling you want to give to your interviewer(s .)

Example: As a team member of (Company Name,) I would provide our

clients with thorough information regarding their accounts, and would

handle all inquiries and discrepancies with confidentiality.

If you use this approach throughout the interview, you will notice that the

interviewer will begin to use the words “we” and “us” as well . This can lead to

an offer if executed properly .

Summaryapproach:summarizewhyyou’reagreatfit

With this approach you summarize out all the facts—the exact reason

why there is a match between you and the employer .

Example: Throughout our conversation today, I have learned about the

dynamics of your company, its culture, and the responsibilities of the posi-

tion. I’m also impressed by your vision and style. I’m glad to see that your

requirements match my experience and goals. I look forward to partici-

pating in the rest of the interview process and optimistically anticipate

being a part of your team.

It’s always up to you to educate the interviewer as to why you are a great


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fit for the opportunity and why an offer should be extended . Don’t forget: you

are always selling yourself .

Theforwardapproach:beclearandconfident.

Example: I’m interested in the position. Have I provided all the information

you need to offer me the position? Do you see me as a great addition to

your team? How soon would you want me to start? What’s our next step?

Are you prepared to have me join you next week?

The Offer

The offer is perhaps the most exciting part of the process . At this point,

you’ve done a great job bringing the airplane down to the landing field . How-

ever, It ain’t over until it’s over . The offer is the point where many candidates

don’t know what to ask for . I’ve coached many executives as well non-exec-

utives through this process . The challenge is in knowing what to ask for and

when enough is enough . Ok, you may ask, what’s the secret? Well the secret

is in stretching the rubber band without breaking it . At the offer stages, hu-

man resources has taken the lead, but the hiring manager is really in the

forefront . In a smaller company this may be done by the hiring manager and

or executives .

The truth is that you want as much as you can get, yes you do! You see,

what you settle for now will be what you get for one year, therefore, you

want to get as much as you can get (stocks, options, money, etc .) That be-

ing said, don’t hold the company hostage for a higher salary because your


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current employer is underpaying you . You cannot expect a new employer

to make up what you haven’t negotiated in the past . Employers have a salary

range for every position and often times want to offer a salary somewhere

on the bottom or in the middle of the range . This has to do with the budget

of the position as well as the internal equity of the group . For instance, they

couldn’t hire someone in as a manager who is making too much more than

the managers who are currently employed with the organization, since it

would cause a ripple in the system .

Be aware that most companies have vacation policies that are in stone and

cannot be changed, but there are creative ways to deal with time off . Be sure

that if you’ve already schedule a vacation before joining the company to let

them know in the offer stage, this will usually ensure that you can still enjoy

your plans, pending the nature . Here are the steps:

1.Knowwhatyouwantinadvance. Do your research; Salary .com or

Jobstar .Org are great resources .

2.Knowwhatpeopleinyourfieldarebeingpaidinthatregion. For

example, salaries in New York are different from those in San Diego . Do

the homework to find out the cost-of-living differential . An offer usually

includes a base salary, a bonus, and sometimes stock or stock options

and benefits, and relocation and temporary housing .

3.Askforawrittenoffer. After the verbal offer has been given from the

hiring manager, human resources, your recruiter, or whomever the party


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is that is extending the invitation, ask them for a written offer . Now,

many headhunters will want you to accept the verbal offer, which is fine,

as long as all of the details have been worked out . A written offer will

outline the entire financial portion of the agreement . You should ask for

a detail benefits summary and relocation package if applicable .

4.Writtenoffersarenotinstone. Once you’ve received the written offer,

it doesn’t mean you have to accept it or that you will get the job . This is

the time when you want to make sure everything you want is in writing .

If you are working with a headhunter or career strategist, they should

be working closely with you . Also, many companies require background

and drug testing . Make sure you’ve disclosed anything up front, instead

of in the offer stages . Be sure that you’ve told the truth through the en-

tire process and that your education and experience is congruent .

5. Be extremely courteous in the process. Always respect the company

for putting an offer together, this is a very time sensitive issue that can

work for you or against you . Use it to your advantage, especially when

you have several offers . However, be sure that you don’t leave the com-

pany waiting too long, they have a business to run and potential other

candidates who are in the loop . Use professional courtesy, if you are not

going to accept an offer . There may be a strong second choice waiting to

hear from the company . In some cases you may be the second choice;

you see how this works?


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6. Send thank you letters either way. Whether you accept the offer or

not, it’s good practice to send hand written thank you notes to all of

the people involved in the process . The hiring process is a big produc-

tion that involves a huge team effort and time commitment from many

people, including some you’ll never meet . Be extremely grateful for

everyone’s time .

7. Formal Acceptance. When all of the details are worked out and you’ve

made the decision to accept the offer, sign and date the offer letter . Send

it back to the human resources person or hiring manager you are work-

ing with ASAP and thank them for their time .

8.Rejectinganoffer. Ideally, you’ve had more than one offer at this stage .

You want to make sure that you thank the other companies that you’ve

engaged with and let them know that you will not be accepting their

offers ASAP . They could have other candidates in process while expect-

ing an answer from you . Please be extremely courteous of their time .

Additionally, you could be one of the ‘other’ candidates waiting for an

answer from a company .

Keeping the Job of Your Dreams Fresh

Now that you’ve gone through the entire process of finding your dream

job/career it is as equally important to keep it . Initially a new job or career

can be very exciting, similar to a newfound relationship; however, many of

you know that relationships eventually lose their initial luster and excitement


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over time . For many people this can take years, and for some this can take

months or even days before the excitement is gone . For example, think of a

time when you had something that was brand new, something like a new or

used car, or a new house or apartment, or maybe you were admitted a school

that you were excited about, or maybe it was a new relationship you were ex-

cited about . Think about how you felt when you first started, most likely you

were extremely excited and enthusiastic . Like most people, you were prob-

ably in a state of euphoria initially! Now, think about how long that enthusi-

asm lasted and the point when it started to change or fade . Think about why

the enthusiasm or euphoria changed, why did the initial luster fade?

There are a number of reasons why this happens and many of them have

to do with our basic human needs . According to author and peak perfor-

mance coach Anthony Robbins, there are six basic human needs that we all

have to fulfill .

The Six Human Needs Psychology:

Certainty: We all want to feel stable about our environment or our basic

necessities—shelter, food, the things that give us a sense of stability . Jobs or

careers provide our basic needs by helping us to have cash flow, social inter-

action, and familiarity .

UncertaintyorVariety:We have a need for change . Once something is fa-

miliar, we have a basic need to seek another experience . Many of us do this

by changing jobs/careers, businesses, or relationships, or our mental states


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111

by drugs and alcohol or exercise . We have the need to change our scenery

or state in some way .

Significance:We all want to feel special and important in some way . Some

of us achieve this by recognition from others or ourselves .

Connection: We need to feel connection with someone or something .

We need the feeling of being connected with people at our place of work,

church, club, gang, animals, ideas, things, or a social setting that allows us

to feel connected . Connection may be in the form of love .

Growth:We have the need for feeling that we are growing—intellectually,

spiritually, physically—everything in the universe is either growing or dying .

The desire for growth is a large reason why many of us choose to change

careers, jobs and partners .

Contribution: We all want to contribute in some way—without contribu-

tion there is no spiritual fulfillment .

This should give you some insights into why we feel differently about

things that we achieve . It’s human nature, however, you do have control over

what you do and how you feel . Sometimes your dream job will be a dream

job until it’s time for you to experience another plateau in life or time to shift

the way you are viewing it; sometimes a complete shift in your thinking is all

you need . I’ve seen people leave their job only to find that leaving was a big

mistake . A shift in thinking would have changed their perspective, leading

them to discover that they were in their dream job!


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Sometimes when we’ve fulfilled our goals, it’s time to set another one .

Many people become job hoppers and career changers frequently due to a

longing or a sense of being unfulfille—be aware of this behavior . This type of

person will never have a lasting dream job, relationship, or happiness . Many

times what we are looking for resides inside of us rather than outside of us .

Job hoppers will also have a resume that most employers run away from . Do

you remember The Wizard of Oz? I recommend you see this movie again . It

has a message of ageless wisdom that tells the story of our longing for some-

thing that we perceive as outside of us, only to find it within .

Top 20 Dream Job Fundamentals

It will take a little time to get used to your new job, so be easy on yourself .

There is always an adjustment period and a learning curve . When you start the

new job you will want to be sure and always stick to the fundamentals, where

you are a seasoned professional or new to the workplace . Most companies have

processes and procedures in place . Find out what they are . Here are some basics:1 . Get a good night of rest before going to work each day .

2 . Make it a habit to be early .

3 . Look your best—personal hygiene is very important .

4 . Get to know your HR Policies regarding vacation, holidays, sick time, etc . ASAP!

5 . Have a positive attitude—smile and the world will smile with you .

6 . Be professional and treat others how you want to be treated .

7 . Take responsibility for what you do and do your best every day .


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8 . Control your emotions—keep non-work related issues out of the workplace .

9 . Don’t use work time to do personal business, this includes using work phones and Internet .

10 . Learn your job—pay attention to the details during training, take notes, or tape record the training .

11 . Try and work well with others—getting along with others will make your dream job last longer .

12 . Be dependable—be someone who your employer or client can count on .

13 . Think of the larger picture—you are on a team and have a specific function to help the overall goal of the company or client—be an outstanding team player .

14 . Ask questions if there is anything you don’t understand . Take notes so that you don’t have to ask the same questions over again .

15 . Accept criticism . If you’ve made a mistake, accept criticism and responsibility . It’s ok! Don’t take it personally .

16 . Be a good listener .

17 . Stay busy . When you’ve completed a task, ask if there is something else you can do to help .

18 . Don’t spread rumors or get involved in petty activities .

19 . Find a mentor in the organization that you can model and learn from .

20 . Be aware of your work-to-life balance . This is extremely important! Be sure to balance working with some form of other activity—Try fitness, hiking, yoga, relaxation, meditation, music, entertainment, etc .





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CONCLUSION

Now that you’ve completed the entire process, my questions for you are:

Did you stay true to the agreement you signed in the beginning? Did you

honor your own commitments? Did you complete the entire workshop? Did

you take ownership for your outcome? Did you follow through with doing

things that you haven’t tried before—demonstrating flexibility? Are you us-

ing this information to find out how you can make yourself a better person

in every way?

If you did honor your own commitment and followed through with your

agreement, congratulations!

It takes a lot of work to get our brains to focus on things that will make us

better, which is why many people are not successful in their attempts to get

ahead in life .

Success is not a measure of what you have, but what you do . Success is

really the idea that if you start out with a destination and end up at the finish

line, you have achieved success .

Many of us confuse success with materialism, i .e ., money, big houses, cars

and a number of other things . The media has done a wonderful job of selling

us materialism, but the true measure of a successful person is how they live

and treat others on their journey . There is an old saying, “Do unto others as

you would have done unto yourself!” This is one of my golden rules .

I hope that you truly have done the work to uncover the desires of your


114 115

heart and follow through with your life’s purpose . Your dream job is and

always has been waiting for you, all you need to do is be clear and take the

necessary actions to bring it into focus .

In closing I would like to invite you to stay tuned to TheFriendZone .Tv

and utilize the ongoing resources . We’ll also be doing seminars, teleseminars,

Webinars and a number of other things to help enrich the Friendzone Com-

munity and your life .

I also invite you to take advantage of our direct strategy sessions with a

career strategist . This is an opportunity to interact with coaches who have

the ability to help transform your job or career search as well as to affect

your life in ways that create lasting results . Send us an email to Coaching@

thenfriendzone .tv . Thank you for the opportunity for us to make a difference,

please pay it forward!


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ADDENDUMYOUR DESTINATION EXERCISE

Assignment

What’s the difference between people who set goals and everyone else? They

visualize their outcomes, self assess, and are creative and flexible . Think about

the following questions and jot down your answers .

1 . Do you have a vision or an outcome for your career that you focus on

which helps motivate you? What is it?

________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________

2 . What one career goal do you have this year that is a must? Are you on

course for achieving that goal? Do you have a way to measure your success in

achieving that goal? Do you self assess and course correct? How?

________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________

3 . Do you exercise creativity in the process of job seeking or do you do what

you’ve always done? What are 3 things that you’ll do differently this time?

________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________


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________________________________________________________________

SCRIPT FOR CALLING INTO COMPANIES COLD

When you call in to the company and have a name of a contact, here is a

simple script that you can use as a guideline .

Hello ____________________, my name is ___________________________

and I am a __________________ (Your Professional Title) Is this a good

time for you to talk? I understand that you are an incredible person and

you know a ton of people, is that true?

If no, Sorry to take your time, would you be open to me calling you in the

future to ask if you know people?

If yes, The purpose of my phone call is to network with professionals like

you to help identify opportunities for myself. I’ve targeted your company as

one that I am potentially interested in applying to, and am hoping that you

would be open to talking a little about your corporate culture and some of

the things you love about the organization?

If yes, great! Begin interviewing them, have a list of questions you want to

ask that pertain to the subject . Remember, do your homework first!

After they’ve told you a little about the company, tell them a little bit about

yourself—have your elevator pitch ready . Then ask them if they know the hir-

ing manager who heads the department or group . Not human resources at

this juncture, however, the good thing is that many companies pay an internal

referral fee to employees, so human resources will eventually be involved .


118 119

When they give you the name(s), make sure to get their name, title and

e-mail address so that you can send a thank you . Be sure to get the title of

the person they are referring you to . Ask if they have a direct number to the

person . If not, you can call the main line and ask for them directly . Also ask

if they would be comfortable with you using their name when you make con-

tact with the hiring manager . Finally, ask them if they have any other friends

in the industry whom you can continue networking with . Be a good listener,

be courteous and not pushy . Take as many names and numbers as they are

willing to give . Always send thank you e-mails to the people helping you

in your networking! Most importantly, always send thank you e-mails and

handwritten letters to hiring managers and the people who interview you!

You increase your chances of being hired by a large percentage .

The last question you will want to ask is if there are any networking groups

they can recommend . This is a powerful question that can lead to an entirely

new group of resources .

When this process is executed properly with effective rapport, you will

find out how easily you can make the right friends!


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12 ACTIVE LISTENING TIPS1 . Mentally put yourself in the other persons shoes – matching/mirroring .

2 . Keep the conversation on what the speaker says, not on what interests you .

3 . Spend more time listening than talking .

4 . Let the other speaker talk . Do not dominate the conversation and do not interrupt incessantly .

5 . Pay attention, never become preoccupied with your own thoughts when others talk, and take brief notes to concentrate on what is being said .

6 . Do not finish the sentences of others .

7 . Ask questions, but do not answer questions with questions .

8 . Be aware of biases and perceptions . Control your biases and validate your assumptions .

9 . Encourage the speaker; provide feedback and paraphrase to show you are listening .

10 . Plan responses after the other person has finished speaking, not while they are speaking .

11 . Analyze by looking at all the relevant factors, ask clarifying and open-ended questions .

12 . Summarize—walk the person through your analysis .


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QUESTIONS FOR PHONE NETWORKING1 . How is the executive team to work with?

2 . What is a typical day like for you?

3 . What do you do? What are the duties/functions/responsibilities of your job?

4 . What kinds of problems do you deal with?

5 . What kinds of decisions do you make?

6 . What are the most important personal satisfactions and dissatisfactions connected with your occupation?

7 . What part of this job do you personally find most satisfying? Most challenging?

8 . What do you like and not like about working in this industry?

9 . What are the various jobs in this field or organization?

10 . Why did you decide to work for this company?

11 . What do you like most about this company?

12 . How does your company differ from its competitors?

13 . Why do customers choose this company?

14 . Are you optimistic about the company’s future and your future with the company?

15 . What does the company do to contribute to its employees’ professional development?

16 . How does the company make use of technology for internal communi-cation and outside marketing? (Use of e-mail, Internet, intranets, World Wide Web page, video conferencing, etc .)

17 . What sorts of changes are occurring in your occupation?

18 . How does a person progress in your field? What is a typical career path in this field or organization?


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ADDENDUM

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DOS AND DON’TS FOR IN-PERSON INTERVIEWING

DOS 1 . Do express yourself clearly with a strong voice and good diction and grammar .

2 . Do pay close attention to your personal appearance; dress to your advantage . Wear basic colors and patterns . Men: suits, basic tie colors, no flashy ties—simply solid or non busy patterns . Women: pant suits or business dresses, basic colors, no flashy tops, no short skirts .

3 . Know the exact time and location of your interview . Know how long it takes to get there, park, find a rest room to freshen up, etc .

4 . Do offer a firm handshake and a smile .

5 . Do look the interviewer in the eye (but don’t stare him or her down .)

6 . Do fill out applications neatly and completely .

7 . Do have as much knowledge about the industry, employer, and position as possible . Internet research—do your homework!

8 . Do take criticism gracefully .

9 . Do equip yourself with a strong knowledge of the company .

10 . Do have prepared questions about the employer and position .

11 . Do display self confidence .

12 . Do bring a pen and small notebook with you to the interview .

13 . Do remember the interviewer’s name and use it during the interview .

14 . Do take time to think before answering difficult or unexpected questions .

15 . Do take an extra copy of your resume and a list of references with you .

16 . Do follow-up with a handwritten thank you note restating your interest in the position .

17 . Do contact the employer by phone if the interviewer does not contact you one week after the time which s/he indicated you would be notified .

18 . Do accept water if offered . Sometimes in the interview you’ll need it .

19 . Do be considerate and friendly to the receptionist and secretaries .

20 . Do pay attention to your environment . Sometimes there are things in an environment that can be useful in rapport building .


122 123

DON’TS 1 . Don’t say anything negative about your former employer .

2 . Don’t be overbearing, overaggressive, or over spoken about your skills .

3 . Don’t show a lack of interest or enthusiasm .

4 . Don’t emphasize money as your main interest in the job .

5 . Don’t expect too much too soon . Be open to the idea of starting at the bottom and working your way up .

6 . Don’t make excuses for unfavorable factors on your record .

7 . Don’t condemn past employers or institutions of education; keep com-ments positive .

8 . Don’t be indecisive .

9 . Don’t display intolerance or prejudice .

10 . Don’t interview unless you are interested in the job—don’t just “shop around .”

11 . Don’t be late to the interview .

12 . Don’t state specific geographic restrictions .

13 . Don’t contradict yourself in responses .

14 . Don’t take notes during the interview—jot down your notes immediately afterwards .

15 . Don’t forget: YOU control the content of the interview .

16 . Don’t glorify your past experiences . Getting into a job for which you are under qualified is not recommended .

17 . Don’t smoke before or during the interview .

18 . Don’t chew gum etc ., even if offered or if the interviewer does so .

19 . Don’t chew tobacco before or during an interview .

20 . Don’t try to be an expert in a subject that you are clueless about .


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INTERVIEW QUESTIONS FOR EVERYONE(Especially New Graduates)

• Howwouldyoudescribeyourself?

• Whatdoyouseeyourselfdoinginfiveyears?

• Whatdoyoureallywanttodoinlife?

• Whydidyouchooseyourcollege—andareyouhappywiththechoice?

• Whatareyourlong-termcareerobjectives—andhowdoyouplantoachieve them?

• What’smoreimportanttoyou—theworkitselforhowmuchyou’repaidfor doing it?

• Whatarethemostimportantrewardsyouexpecttogainfromyourcareer?

• Whatdoyouexpecttobeearninginfiveyears?

• Whatdoyouexpecttobeearningafteryougraduate?

• Whydidyouchoosethiscareer?

• Whatareyourmajorsandminors?

• Whydidyouchoosethecoursesyoutook?

• Whatdoyouconsidertobeyourgreateststrengthsandweaknesses?

• Howdoyouthinkyourfavoriteprofessorwoulddescribeyou? Your least favorite professor?

• Whatmotivatesyoutogotheextramileonaprojectorjob?

• Whatwasyourmostmemorableclassroomexperience?

• Howhasyourcollegeexperiencepreparedyouforyourcareer?

• WhyshouldIhireyou?

• Howwouldyoudescribetheidealjobforyoufollowinggraduation?


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• Howdoyoudefinesuccess?

• Whatqualificationsdoyouhavethatwillmakeyousuccessful?

• Whatdoyouthinkittakestobesuccessfulinthiscompany?

• Howareyougoingtomakeacontributiontoourcompany?

• Whataretwoorthreeaccomplishmentsthathavegivenyouthemostsatisfaction—and why?

• Whatwasyourfavoriteclass—andwhy?

• Whatwasyourleastfavoriteclass—andwhy?

• Whatchangeswouldyoumakeinyourcollege?

• Doyouhaveplanstocontinueyoureducation?

• Whatskillshaveyouacquiredfromyourinternshipsandpart-timejobs?

• Describeyourfavoriteprofessororfavoritesupervisor.

• Doyouthinkyourgradesareagoodindicationofthetypeofemployeeyou’ll make?

• What’syourGPA?Areyouhappywithit?

• Whathaveyoulearnedfromyourexperiencesoutsidetheclassroom?

• Doyoufeelyouworkwellunderpressure?

• Whyareyouinterviewingforthisposition?

• Whatcanyoutellusaboutourcompany?

• Whatinterestsyouaboutourproducts?

• Whatdoyouknowaboutourcompetitors?

• Whatcriteriaareyouusingtochoosecompaniestointerviewwith?

• Whatareyourexpectationsregardingpromotionsandsalaryincreases?

• Areyouwillingtorelocate?


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ADDENDUM

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• Areyouwillingtotravelforthejob?

• Howmuchtrainingdoyouthinkyouneedbeforeyoucanmakeacontri-bution to the company?

• Describeoneofthebiggestmistakesyoumadeincollege.

• Whatdidyoulearnfromyourmistakes?

• Whatotherjobs/companiesareyouconsidering?

• Ifyouwerehiringforthisposition,whatqualitieswouldyoulookforinanew college graduate?

• Howwelldoyouworkwithpeople?Doyoupreferworkingaloneorinteams?

• Haveyoueverbeeninagroupprojectwherethereweredifficulties? How were these issues resolved?

• Howwouldyoudescribeyourleadershipskills?

• Howwelldoyouadapttonewsituations?

• Whichismoreimportant:creativityorefficiency?Why?

• What’sthemostrecentbookyou’vereadthat’snotbeenaclassassignment?

• Whatkindsofthingsdidyoudooutsideofclassesandworkwhileincollege?

• Whatkindsofthingsorskillsdidyoulearnfromtheseactivities?

• Doyouthinkcollegechangedyouasaperson?Ifso,how?

• Haveyouevertutoredanunderclassman?

• Whathaveyouaccomplishedthatshowsyourinitiativeandwillingnessto work?

• Ifyouweretostartcollegeoveragainknowingwhatyouknownow,whatwould you do differently?

• Tellmeaboutyourself.


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• Tellmeaboutyourexperience.

• Whatisyourmostimportantaccomplishmenttodate?

• Howwouldyoudescribeyouridealjob?

• Whydidyouchoosethiscareer?

• Whendidyoudecideonthiscareer?

• Whatgoalsdoyouhaveinyourcareer?


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YEAR 2_ _ _ MOST IMPORTANT RESULT

Exercise

My most important RESULT is:

____________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________

Why is it a NECESSITY?(Remember, when your why is strong enough, the how gets easy…)

____________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________


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What I must do NOW to accomplish my RESULT:

____________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________

What are my TOP GOALS for the year 2_ _ _?(Remember: Be specific—Clarity is power! Make sure your goals are in the first person, for

example: “I found the job of my dreams .” or “I bought a brand new 2_ _ _ car/truck of my

dreams .” or “I am debt free .” etc . )

1 .___________________________________________________________

_____________________________________________________________

2 .___________________________________________________________

_____________________________________________________________

3 .___________________________________________________________

_____________________________________________________________

4 .___________________________________________________________

_____________________________________________________________

5 .___________________________________________________________

_____________________________________________________________


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6 .___________________________________________________________

_____________________________________________________________

7 .___________________________________________________________

_____________________________________________________________

8 .___________________________________________________________

_____________________________________________________________

9 .___________________________________________________________

_____________________________________________________________

10 .___________________________________________________________

_____________________________________________________________

Notes:

____________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________

___________________________________________________________

___________________________________________________________

___________________________________________________________


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ADDITIONAL RESOURCESRecommended Books and DVDs

What Color is Your Parachute, Richard Nelson Bolles (author)

Having it All, by John Assaraf

Divine Magic, by Doreen Virtue

The Power of Now, by Eckhart Tolle

A New Earth, by Eckhart Tolle

Love is Letting Go of Fear, by Gerald Jampolsky

The Alchemist, by Paulo Coelho

One Day My Soul Just Opened Up, by Iyanla Vanzant

The Three Magic Words, by U . S . Anderson

Rich Dad, Poor Dad, by Robert Kiyosaki

Excuse Me Your Life is Waiting, by Lynn Grabhorn

Personal Power 2, by Anthony Robbins (CD series)

What The Bleep Do We Know, DVD and Book (Whatthebleep .com)

The Secret, by Rhonda Byrne, DVD and Book

Glen Gary Glen Ross, James Foley (Director) DVD

The Never Ending Story, Wolfgang Petersen (Director) DVD(A story that illustrates the importance of staying in touch with dreaming!)

Hook, Stephen Spielberg (Director) DVD (A story that does a great job illustrating what it looks like when we loose the ability to dream; we loose our marbles!)

The Wizard of OZ, Victor Fleming (Director) DVD


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RESOURCES

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Recommended Online Resources

Resume Writing and Tips

Monster .com

Careerperfect .com

Myrightjob .com

Jobstar .org

Careerstrides .com

Quintcareers .com (Good College Student Tips)

Freeresumeworld .com

NLPTrainingandTips

SRICoaching .com

Job Search Tools

LinkedIn .com (be sure to send me a friend request)

Facebook .com (be sure to send me a friend request)

Indeed .com

JuJu .com

Simplyhired .com

InterviewingTechniquesandTips

TheFriendZone .tv

Collegegrad .com

Careertv .com

About .com


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Jobstuff .com

QuintessentialCareers .com

Careerstrides .com

Behavioral Interviewing and Personality Assessments

Lominger .com

Haygroup .com

MyersBriggs .org

PersonalCoaching

SRICoaching .com

Performance Solutions International (www .Consultpsi .net)

PersonalDevelopment/CareerDevelopmentSeminars

Anthonyrobbins .com (Anthony Robbins Seminars)

Onecoach .com (One Coach—Entrepreneur/Small Business Focused)

SRIcoaching .com (SRI Coaching)

Entrepreneurial Resources:

Startupspark .com

Tannedfeet .com

Entrepreneurs .about .com

InteractiveGames(VERY IMPORTANT THAT YOU PLAY ALL-OUT)

Frontiertrainings .com (Frontier Trainings—Play to Win)

choosingprosperity .com/game (The Prosperity Game)If you have beliefs that create challenges with the flow of money, this game is for you!


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Additional contributions:

Gene McNaughton – Goal Setting Workshop

Jana Fleming – Dream Job Board Workshop

Matt Carpenter – Additional Resources for

Behavioral Interviewing chapter

TheSevenSecretsMovieSegments:

John Bancroft

Gene McNaughton

Jana Fleming

Mike Bannan

Steve Fleming

Mike McElroy

Ron Nash

BibliographyTad James & Wyatt Woodsmall: NLP Model of the Mind www .execonn .com/matt/Docs/NLP .htmSRI Coaching: Transformation From The Heart by Steve Linder, www .SRICoaching .com John Assaraf: Having it All, Longstreet Presswww .JohnAssaraf .com Doreen Virtue: Divine Magic, Hay House (2006) www .Hayhouse .com Linda Matias: Career Coach www .Careerstrides .com; Linda@careerstrides .com Eckhart Tolle: A New Earth (2005), Penguin GroupNLP, Richard Bandler & John GrindlerQuotes:Jimi Hendrix Songs, Castles Made of Sand and Voodoo Child (Slight Return); Experience Hendrix Foundation, www .experiencehendrix .com


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FINAL NOTE

For those who want depressing information regarding the recession, the

terrible job market, the housing crash, and virtually any other negative ideas

imaginable, watch the nightly news . I don’t subscribe to a regular diet of

negative information, therefore I’ve decided not to write about those topics

in this book . We have a responsibility to ourselves to create our own dreams

—not the news . You are more powerful than you think; Be It!

—Nor Shan


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ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Ron Nash is a career strategist, life coach, leader-

ship speaker and NLP strategist . His clients include

Fortune 500 companies the likes of Microsoft, The

Anthony Robbins Companies, Cardinal Health and

a plethora of others . He has also worked closely

with start-ups, venture capital companies, and thousands of individuals

worldwide . Ron has been a motivational and career management consul-

tant for more than 15 years and has consistently raised the bar with his level

of passion and commitment .

Ron is also a talented music producer and entertainer . He has participated

in numerous fund raisers and non-profit events that contribute to creating a

better world . He is the proud husband to Michelle Matisse, a spiritual artist

and painter . They have two beautiful children, Sunnaya and Élan . His primary

residence is in San Diego, California .

how to find your dream job

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