how to fly like a gentleman

7/27/2019 How to Fly Like a Gentleman

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How to Fly Like a Gentleman

By Brett & Kate McKay

You stretch out your legs, take a look out the window to check the view at 31,000 feet, and then

place the book you were reading on the empty seat next to you. An attractive, smiling stewardess

leans over, lays down a cloth napkin and silverware, and asks which of the three available hot

entrees you‘d like for your meal. She quickly returns and sets down the dinnerware in front of you.

As you dig into your delicious food, you can hear the sounds of music coming from the piano bar at

the front of the plane…

….THUNK! With a kick to your seat from the toddler behind you, you awaken from your daydream

to find yourself wedged between a large, unbathed man in a tank top and a teenager blasting

music on his headphones so loud you can hear every word of the lyrics of his favorite heavy metal

band. The flight attendant hands you a plastic cup of soda, along with a tiny bag of pretzels, and

quickly moves on.

Air travel. It certainly isn‘t the same as it was during its ―golden age‖ several decades ago. It‘s even

gone downhill from how it was just 15 years ago, when flights weren‘t always full, you didn‘t have

to pay to check a bag, and you could make a mad dash to the gate to finally confess your feelings

for a lover right before she got on the plane. (Not as dramatic to confront them in the security line,

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is it?)

Sure, the Golden Age of Air Travel had its own drawbacks. Less flights, not as safe, and, a whole

lot more expensive. The drop in ticket prices since the days when Pan Am ruled the skies has

been a boon for the man of modest means who still wants to see the world (or, just his family a few

states away for the holidays).

On the flip side, the democratization of flight has turned it into something that has to be endured ,

rather than enjoyed. When you‘re being herded through security and made to wait an hour and a

half on the tarmac, it‘s easy to feel more like a head of cattle than a traveling gentleman.

But a gentleman always does what he must do, and regardless of the circumstances, makes things

as pleasant and smooth as possible for those around him – friends and strangers alike. Through

gestures big and small, he shows a respect for the needs of others and an awareness of how his

behavior affects them. He knows his example encourages others to follow suit, and that the more

individuals who choose to adopt common-sense manners, the more enjoyable life becomes for all.

A small sacrifice in the present ends up benefitting not only other people, but himself as well.

This was true of the gentleman when he traveled by stagecoach and by train, and just as true, if

not more so today, when he hops aboard a jet. Here‘s how to take to the skies like a classic gent.

How to Fly Like a Gentleman

―To do nothing that can either annoy or offend the sensibilities of others, sums up the principal

rules for conduct under all circumstances—whether staying at home or traveling.‖ Emily Post,

Etiquette in Society, in Business, in Politics and at Home, 1922

Pre-Boarding

Dress sharp. Now, there‘s no need to don a three-piece suit, but do kindly leave the pajama pants

and crocs at home. No matter how seemingly pedestrian it‘s become, taking a trip is still a special

thing. Dressing decently and with a little style can get you into that mindset and heighten your

experience, as well as add a bit of the old charm back into travel for you, and for your fellow

passengers as well. Putting on real pants that button will help your fellow travelers feel more like

they‘re getting away from it all, and less like they‘re visiting a Walmart at midnight. For advice on

dressing for travel with both practicality and style in mind, check out these tips from Antonio.

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Be civil to the ticket agents and other airline employees. Despite their proximity to those

automated kiosks, ticket agents are not machines. Just as you don‘t berate a waiter for a poor -

tasting dish, don‘t take out your understandable frustrations on the ticket and gate agents for flight

delays and other snafus they had no hand in or power over. Your own disgruntlements feel

supremely important, but understand they‘re burdened with dealing with the disgruntlements of

hundreds of other folks just like you every single day; it‘s not easy. So by all means, be firm i n

asking them to do all they possibly can to accommodate you when things go awry, but do your

best to stay calm and cool, even friendly. It will surely be a sigh of relief to the agent to deal with a

rational and perhaps even smiling traveler for once. And when an agent goes above and beyond



the call of duty in helping you, be sure to tell them how much you appreciate it.

Get through the security check as quickly as possible. Have you ever been standing in a



security line that snaked up and down, knowing your flight was going to take off in half an hour,

and sweating whether you were going to get to the gate on time? Your blood pressure soars, every

minute that passes is excruciating, and when you see folks at the front of the line moving very

slowly and not following the clearly-marked instructions, your eyes fairly bulge out of your head.

Sure, some people are late because of their own dumb choices, but sometimes it‘s because of

something out of their control, and they just really, really want to catch their flight home to their

family. So next time you‘re in the security line, just imagine there‘s a guy behind you on the verge

of an aneurism. Plus, everybody, late or not, truly appreciates moving through the chute as quickly

as possible.

Have your ID and ticket (or smartphone, nowadays) out and ready when you get to the first

checkpoint. Then take off your shoes and remove your laptop from your bag while there are still a

few people between you and the conveyer belt. When they say everything out of your pockets,

they mean everything. And once it‘s your turn, move quickly and efficiently to load up your stuff

and walk through the scanner.

Don’t clip your nails while waiting in the gate area, and then leave your pile of clippings

there. Yes, dear reader, I saw this happen.

Boarding

Board the plane in an orderly fashion. Whenever boarding is announced, people tend tostampede to the door…and then creep forward in a giant line to get on the plane. Unless you‘re

flying Southwest, or are very concerned about finding overhead compartment space, there‘s no

rush. I personally don‘t want to be sitting in that flying capsule for any longer than necessary, and

tend to wait until the line has died down to get on. Even if you do want to board ASAP, wait until

your ―group‖ is called.

Try to avoid smacking people with your bag as you make your way down the aisle. Hold your

carry-on in a controlled fashion in front of you. You don‘t want to knock an old lady unconscious

with your Saddleback briefcase.

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Don’t try to avoid the fee for check-in bags by bringing a carry-on that’s too big. You know

this guy – he holds up the line of people trying to get down the aisle of the plane as he struggles

against all odds to cram a bag that‘s never going to fit into the overhead compartment, and then

finally has to give it to the flight attendant to check. Saving money by avoiding the checked-bag fee



is great, and so is traveling light, but make sure your bag will fit before you haul it onto the plane;

most ticket counters have a measuring box that will allow you to verify this before you check in.

Help people put their bags into the overhead compartment. If you see someone struggling to

put their bag up, offer a helping hand.

Once you’ve put your belongings in the overhead compartment, sit down. Don‘t stand there

in the aisle rummaging through your bag to find your Jujubes. If you need something from your bag

that you can‘t grab easily, you should sit down, put the bag on your lap, and then return it to the



overhead compartment once you‘re through.

Let separated couples/friends/family sit together. If a couple gets put in different rows, and

you‘re a single gent who doesn‘t care which seat he‘s in, offer to move so they can sit together. It

means a lot to folks.



On our first flight with Gus, Kate and I were pretty nervous about keeping him pacified, and were

ready to team up to do it. So I was really disappointed to find out the airline, contrary to our

reservations, had put Kate and Gus in a separate row right behind me — the very last row on the

plane. It was one of those prop planes that had two seats on one side, and one seat on the other.

The guy across from Kate offered to switch, but the guy sitting next to me refused, saying he didn‘t

want to sit in the back row because the chairs didn‘t recline. At that exact moment, somewhere in

the world, a chivalrous kitten was killed.

Take Off (and Landing)

Return your seat to the upright position and turn off your electronic device when the flight

attendant asks. Don‘t be the guy who tries to squeeze in a few more minutes on the phone after

they make that announcement, and makes the flight attendant come by to give him a nudge.

In Flight

Honor the unofficial code of armrest dibs. Who gets which armrest? It‘s always a little awkward,

isn‘t it? No need to wrangle over them and throw elbows. Here‘s a sensi ble code of conduct: Each

person gets at least one armrest. In a three-seat row, the middle person gets the armrest on each



side of him, while the person in the aisle seat gets the outside one, and the person in the window

seat gets the one next to the window; the thinking here is that the person in the aisle seat can lean

into the aisle, the person in the window seat can lean into the window, but the man in the middle is

stuck. In a row with five seats, the person in the very middle seat gets the two armrests around

him, while the passengers to his left each take their left armrest, and the passengers on the right

each claim the one on their right.

Keep your kid as calm and occupied as possible. Despite being separated on the

aforementioned flight, we were fine because we had a Gus-pacification battle plan: lots of books,

snacks, trinkets, and, God‘s gift to traveling parents: the iPad. Cranky kids top the list of traveler

pet peeves, so don‘t bring a tyke along and expect him to spend his time browsing the SkyMall

catalog. Sure, it‘s the crying itself that‘s annoying, but equally frustrating is a parent who ignores

the meltdown while immersing herself in Fifty Shades of Grey . Sometimes there‘s nothing you can

do to turn off a kid‘s waterworks, but fellow passengers will be more understanding if you‘re at least

making an effort to walk ‗em back from the edge. If you want to win over your seatmates even

more, these parents had a pretty ingenious idea: hand out goody bags of candy and earplugs to

those seated around you!

Listen to your movies/music at a reasonable volume. Airlines really cram people together these

days. People‘s heads are only a few inches apart during flight. So don‘t crank up the volume on

your headphones, and treat your seatmate to the sound of every single explosion in The

Expendables.

Initiate conversation only when welcome. It‘s fine to chat with your fellow passengers a bit; it‘s a

little strange that we sit side-by-side with people and never acknowledge each other whatsoever.

But if your seatmate doesn‘t seem interested in engaging with you, don‘t continue to prattle on.

If you end up next to an unwelcome chatterbox, follow Emily Post‘s old advice to steamship

passengers in the same scenario: ―If you receive them with any degree of enthusiasm, your

response may be translated into a willingness to talk. But if you answer in the merest

monosyllables, it should be taken to mean that you prefer to be left to your own diversions.‖ If youreally don‘t want folks to talk to you, head off the possibility by slipping on some headphones;

doesn‘t matter if sound is being emitted or not – it‘s an unofficial ―do not disturb‖ sign.

Give those behind you a heads up when you’re going to recline your seat. The person seated

behind you may have drinks or a laptop on their tray table, so don‘t surprise them with a rap id

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recline of your seat. If you can, turn around and let them know your seatback is incoming. That‘s

easier to do in the aisle seat, and if you find giving the heads up awkward, at least recline very

slowly.

Don’t get up to use the head when the flight attendants are serving food and drinks. There

are plenty of good times to cram yourself into the plane‘s tiny loo. During the beverage service is

not one of them. Don‘t create a game of chicken between you and the bev cart.

Disembarking

Exit in an orderly fashion. Get up row by row. Once it‘s your turn, gather your things as quickly

as possible and get going. If you‘re seated towards the back of the plane, and worried about

making a connection, instead of charging into the aisle and trying to bulldoze your way to the front,

ask a flight attendant before landing if there‘s an available seat near the front of the plane to whichyou can be moved. They‘ll usually be happy to oblige.

Thank the flight attendants and pilots. They just safely hurtled a metal can eight miles above the

earth‘s surface, without crashing into the Andes and forcing you to become a cannibal. A tip of the

hat is in order!

Baggage Claim



Stand a few feet away from the edge of the baggage claim conveyer belt. It may help you grab

your bag 2.5 seconds faster, but standing with one‘s shins up against the baggage claim conveyer

belt blocks the view of others who are looking for their bag. Stand back a little. No need to bunch

up right where the bag comes out, either; pick a different spot, wait 40 seconds, and the bag will

come right to you.

Polish your monocle, sir. You‘ve made it to your destination safe and sound, and got there like a

gentleman.

All illustrations by Ted Slampyak

What are your tips on flying like a gentleman? Share them with us in the comments!

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