how to overcome adversity for hsp's & gt's: my life's gone up in smoke-webinar

How to Cope with Adversity – My Life’s Gone Up in Smoke!

by

Sharon M. Barnes, MSSW, LCSWCreative Transformation Specialist

AKA The Scrap LadySharon Helps CASIGYs ─ and Others─Create Beauty & Benefit From Life's Scraps

www.TherapistForSensitiveAndGifted.comSharon@TherapistForSensitiveAndGifted.com©2011

http://www.therapistforsensitiveandgifted.com/

http://www.giftedtherapydenver.com/

http://www.giftedtherapydenver.com/

© 2013 Sharon M. Barnes

Nobody Knows the Trouble I’ve Seen . . .

» Life may bring hardship, setbacks, loss

»What adversity are YOU facing?


What’s unique about CASIGYs’ experience of adversity:

» ↑Sensitivity → ↑ perception of adversity when other’s don’t

» ↑Intensity → increased impact of adversity˃ Physical/physiological˃ Emotional/psychological˃ Spiritual/Soulful

» ↑ Imagination → Chicken Little Syndrome» ↑ Intelligence → ↑awareness of potential

negative outcomes of adverse circumstances

» ↑ Creativity → ↑awareness of ↓possibilities


Who’s a CASIGY?

Creative, Complex, Curious

Aware, Alert

Super-Sensitive

Intense, often Introverted

Gifted

You ?


Traditional Wisdom

» Every cloud has a silver lining» Every adversity has a seed of

equal of greater benefit (Hill)» In all things God works for the

good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose (Apostle Paul)

» YES, BUT HOW do we access all of this????


What We Want» To blast our way out» To freeze until it passes» Someone to rescue us

What We DO• Ignore problems • Panic • Run away• Numb ourselves


What Works

A Six Step Process to MOVE through Adversity• Experience it• Explore it,• Express it,• Embrace it,• Extract benefit from it: How?• Kreate something that

illustrates and demonstrates our experience of it


Signs of Life Imbalance

» Irritability» Anxiety, depression» Fatigue» Inability to concentrate» Dis-ease, illness» Sleep disruption/changes» Appetite/weight/eating changes» Overwhelming emotions» Increase in mistakes or

accidents» Life crises or chaos


Adversity May Follow Trauma» Trauma = Exposure to a Life

Threatening Event˃ Perceived˃ Actual˃ Personal˃ Observed (Vicarious)˃ Effects of Trauma Exposure

+ Profound loss of the familiar—– people– dreams– innocence– body/mind/soul/spirit; nothing is ever the

same+ Affects our affects (expression of emotion)+ Affects our defenses (defending against anxiety)


Warning Signs of PTSD

» Feeling helpless and hopeless» Feeling like I can never do enough» Hypervigilance» Diminished creativity» Oversimplification/Inability to embrace

complexity» Minimizing» Chronic exhaustion/physical aliments» Dissociative moments» Sense of persecution» Guilt» Fear» Anger and cynicism» Inability to empathize/numbing» Addictions


1. Experience It» When Adversity comes, we

often shut down, like a roly-poly bug

» Instead, Open up your senses:˃ What do you see?˃ What do you hear?˃ What do you feel?

+ Body sensations+ Emotions


» Emotions are like Ocean Waves

» What you feel, you can heal (Gray)

» Catch & Release» Hang Loose in

the Washing Machine


2. Explore It» Go into or toward the wave» What territory are you in?» What kind of waves are here?» How big are these waves?» Do the waves match?

˃ Size˃ Characteristics

» If not, what else could also be pushing them?


3. Express It» We are civilized against self-

expression˃ We observe others’ aggressive self-expression

against others & We conclude it’s not safe/OK/wise

˃ We may be victims of others’ aggressive self-expression

˃ We get messages: Don’t cry/yell/say that/walk/go there

» We need to express ourselves˃ A steam kettle without a vent explodes˃ Emotions & energy stagnated in the body can

cause illness˃ Self-expression is the essence of being human ˃ We can learn Assertive self- expression


Communication Styles

» Aggressive˃ I win/ you lose/we lose˃ My needs count/yours don’t

» Passive˃ I lose/you win/we lose˃ Your needs count/yours don’t

» Assertive˃ I win/you win/we win˃ My needs count/your needs count/our needs count

» Passive/aggressive˃ Aggressive masquerading as passive


4.Embrace It

» What happens when we fight ocean waves?

» Martial Arts: Flow with the energy of what is happening

» What at first seem like mistakes or mishaps may instead be the start of something new & wonderful (post-it notes)

» Trust the Process(McNiff)


» “If Life is viewed as a maze, every mistake is an unnecessary detour, and a waste of time. If life is viewed as a labyrinth, then every mistake is a part of the path and an indispensable master teacher.” (Candolini)


5. Extract Benefit

» The rejected stone becomes the corner stone

» Wounded healer- wound becomes blessing

» Lightning strikes come from the gods

» Manure makes the best fertilizer


6. Kreate Something With It

• As we make something that illustrates and demonstrates our experience, • We engage in a creative process• We facilitate the flow of emotion and energy

through us• We are healed as we create

(body/mind/soul/spirit)

• As we continue to work with our creation, • it becomes transformed • our experience and its meaning in our lives

become transformed.

• As we reflect, contemplate or meditate on what we have created, we are set free. (Estes & McNiff)


»Exploring New Territory: ˃ “The significant problems we have,

cannot be solved at the same level of thinking with which we developed them.” Albert Einstein

˃ Einstein used Combinatory Play to develop the new knowledge he introduced to the world (Hadamard)


Let’s Kreate Something!» What adversity have you

experienced?˃ Write down your ‘first thoughts’:

+ What impact has it had or is it having on your life?

+ Does it haunt you in any way? How?+ What dilemma or challenge is connected with

it?+ What pain is associated with it?

» Kreate something to catch & demonstrate your experience ˃ This is personal art, not fine art˃ “talent” is not required or desired˃ It involves 3 steps: Create, Contemplate,

Crystallize


A Six Step Process to MOVE through Adversity• Experience it• Explore it,• Express it,• Embrace it,• Extract benefit from it:

How?• Kreate something that

illustrates & demonstrates our experience of it


Bibliography

» Allen, Pat, “Art is a Way of Knowing” » Allen, Pat, “Art as a Spiritual Path”» Aron, Elaine, “The Highly Sensitive Person”» Candolini, Gernot, “ . . . Labyrinth . . .”» Estes, Clarissa Pinkola Estes “Women Who Run

With the Wolves”» Jacobsen, Mary Elaine, “The Gifted Adult”» McNiff, Shaun, “Trust the Process, An Artist’s

Guide to Letting Go” 1998 Shambhalla» “Intensity”» Laney, Marti Olsen, “The Introvert Advantage”

how to overcome adversity for hsp's & gt's: my life's gone up in smoke-webinar

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