how to persevere
TRANSCRIPT
Why People Overcome Obstacles and HowBy Brian Patrick Jensen (All Rights Reserved 2012)
Introduction to perseveranceIntroduction to perseverance
Perseverance is… achieving positive growth by overcoming adversity.
Introduction to perseveranceIntroduction to perseverance
Perseverance…is a process of choices and actions, not a personality trait.
Introduction to perseveranceIntroduction to perseverance
ApplicationApplicationWrite out a brief description of the problem, crisis or challenge you now wish to overcome“I am newly deaf in a hearing world and I feel isolated and alone. I just lost my job. I am worried about supporting my family. My future livelihood is very uncertain.”
5 things resilient people do5 things resilient people do
1. Believe growth is a choice2. Stare down hard reality3. Find a higher meaning4. Visualize the extraordinary 5. Take specific action
1.) Believe growth is a choice1.) Believe growth is a choice
We do NOT control the “External” world
All other people Time and eventsEconomic pressuresMedical diagnosesWeather and seasonsHarm and tragedyHitting the lottery
1.) Believe growth is a choice1.) Believe growth is a choice
We DO control the “Internal” self
Reactions to ExternalsDecisions, beliefs & valuesPlans (not outcomes!)Self-awarenessDesire, passion & energySkills and learningBehaviors and actions
1.) Believe growth is a choice1.) Believe growth is a choice
We can “Influence” the External world
It is ineffective to focus on things you do not controlFocus on the External DECREASES InfluenceFocus on the Internal INCREASES Influence
Copyright 2011 All Rights Reserved
1.) Believe growth is a choice1.) Believe growth is a choice
1.) Believe growth is a choice1.) Believe growth is a choice
ApplicationApplicationWrite two lists concerning your current challenge:
I do NOT Control•That I’m deaf now•I am unemployed•Job market•Bias not to hire deaf•Technology limits
I DO Control•How I communicate•How I do job search•Asking for help•My personal integrity•Learning new skills
2.) Stare down hard reality2.) Stare down hard reality
The optimism trapThe optimism trap
Resilient people keep things realWe are hard-wired unrealistic*Optimism: Denial in disguise
2.) Stare down hard reality2.) Stare down hard reality
*People hugely underestimate chances of getting divorced, losing a job and being diagnosed ill while overestimating personal achievement, family fortune and life span.
-Time Magazine: The Science of Optimism
Inventory cold hard factsInventory cold hard factsI lost all hearing; it’s permanentMiss my children’s voicesGet exponentially less informationI feel isolated; talk to less peopleInterpreting visual cues is exhaustingLip reading seems impossibleGetting a job is far more difficultYearn for sounds of music, nature, etc.Depleting all my money
2.) Stare down hard reality2.) Stare down hard reality
Grieve with passionGrieve with passion
Holding back is unhealthy Sharing pain helps you & others Process toward healing
2.) Stare down hard reality2.) Stare down hard reality
Sadness, anger and depression are sane reactions to great loss. Grieving is a healthy process with stages that should be experienced, not denied.
- Coping with Grief and Loss: HelpGuide.org
Ask for specific helpAsk for specific help
Admit you need help (Acceptance)Do not assume they know Show exactly what to do Never beg, apologize or demand Reinforce positive efforts
2.) Stare down hard reality2.) Stare down hard reality
ApplicationApplicationInventory all the cold hard facts of your situation. Select 1 item and describe specifically how another person can help you with it.
“I can ask my daughters to text or email me a quick summary of their day, every day. Then I can keep a running journal of communications between my kids and their Dad!”
2.) Stare down hard reality2.) Stare down hard reality
3.) Find a higher meaning3.) Find a higher meaning
3.) Find a higher meaning3.) Find a higher meaningNature is more vivid Insight into human behaviorBetter comprehension via captions Keener of others’ true feelingsNew friends who understand Inspired by others’ feedbackBetter at sharing my heartCloser to my children
ApplicationApplicationWrite your own list of lessons learned or desirable outcomes that actually occurred as a result of your difficulty. Caution: List only firm convictions, facts or actual events. This is not a wish list or ambiguous hope that something good will come. It must be real.
3.) Find a higher meaning3.) Find a higher meaning
4.) Visualize the extraordinary4.) Visualize the extraordinary
See higher purpose to current struggles via a concrete vision:
Visualization techniques (as in athletes) Imagine specifically “Dreams Awake” Set concrete goals for future
4.) Visualize the extraordinary4.) Visualize the extraordinary
ApplicationApplicationImagine a future of happiness and accomplishment beyond* your current struggles. Be very specific and write it down. Dream big!*Note: “Beyond” does not mean “without” if your current problem is permanent. I didn’t visualize to be cured of my deafness; rather to use my hearing loss to inspire others that they can overcome their struggles too.
4.) Visualize the extraordinary4.) Visualize the extraordinary
5.) Take Specific action5.) Take Specific action Memorized Sarah’s speech Wrote daughters a poem Started new blog Took sign language classes Contacted HLAA / ALDA Dusted off telescope Started networking Obtained great job references Created this presentation!
ApplicationApplicationWrite your own list of actions that you can do right now to either deal with your problem or move toward your future vision. Then do it! Add to your list to complete the Application Exercises from this training within a week!
5.) Take specific action5.) Take specific action
5 things resilient people do5 things resilient people do
1. Believe growth is a choice2. Stare down hard reality3. Find a higher meaning4. Visualize the extraordinary 5. Take specific action
Be inspired every day!Be inspired every day!
Perseverance: Why People Overcome Obstacles and How By Brian Patrick Jensen (All Rights Reserved 2012)