How To Stay Calm

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How To Stay Calm?

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<ul><li> 1. HowtoStayCalm (controlyourAnger) </li></ul> <p> 2. Aninspirationfrom An inspiration from ManagementArticleg 3. Putyourselfinastateofmindwhereyousay toyourself, Hereisanopportunityforyouto to yourself 'Here is an opportunity for you to celebratelikeneverbefore,myownpower, myownabilitytogetmyselftodowhateveris my own ability to get myself to do whatever is necessary.'AnthonyRobbinsAnthony Robbins 4. HaveyoueverfoundyourselfangrywithHave you ever found yourself angry with peopleyoucareaboutanddidntseemabletostopyourself?to stop yourself? 5. Dopeoplewholoveyoutellyouthat youhaveangermanagementissues? you have anger management issues? 6. Haveyoulostsomeimportantrelationships Have you lost some important relationshipsorcreatedproblemsforyourselfatwork becauseyoucouldn tseemtocontrolyour because you couldnt seem to control yourangrybehavior? 7. Ifthisdescribesyou,thenyouneedtoregain controlandstopyourselffromhurtingothers. 8. Thefirstthingtodoistorecognizethatyyouarechoosingyouranger.gyg 9. What? 10. Choosingmyanger? 11. Well,thereareseveralreasonspeoplemay W ll h llchooseanger.Letsseewhichonebestdescribesyou.dib 12. Somepeopleuseangertointimidateothers andsubsequentlygetwhattheywant.Inthisway,theangrypersonisabletocontrolthebehaviorofothers. 13. Somepeopleusetheirangerasawayof Some people use their anger as a way of gettingattention.Ifapersonneedsattention, itdoesn talwaysmatterwhetherthat it doesnt always matter whether thatattentionispositiveornegative,aslongas someoneisnoticinghimorher. someone is noticing him or her 14. AngercanalsobeusedasatactictoavoidAnger can also be used as a tactic to avoid responsibility.Ifapersondoesntwanttodosomething,angercanbeavalidwaytogetsomething anger can be a valid way to getoutofit. 15. Similartowantingattention,sometimes Similar to wanting attention sometimes peoplearefeelingsmallandinsignificantand angerworkstopumpthemselvesupor anger works to pump themselves up or providecouragetodosomethingscary. 16. Angerhasenergy. 17. Whensomeoneisexperiencingthings thatarefrustrating,heorshemaynotgybedealingwithhisorheranger. 18. Insteadofprocessingit,cognitively Instead of processing it cognitively restructuringsomebeliefsystemsorworking outtheenergyphysically,angercanprovidea out the energy physically anger can provide a muchneededreleasevalve. 19. Doyourecognizeyourselfinanyof thosescenarios? those scenarios? 20. Whenyouloseyourtemper,whichone ofthesereasonsbestidentifieswhat youaretryingtoaccomplish? 21. Perhapsyouhaveyetanotherreason.One Perhaps you have yet another reason OnethingIknowforsureisthatyoualways behaveinyourbestattempttogetsomething behave in your best attempt to get something youwant.Yourbehaviorisneverrandomanditnever justhappens to youit never just happensquot;toyou. 22. Itsaverysubtledifferencebutan importantonenonetheless. 23. Allbehaviorisproactive. 24. Youdonotchooseabehaviorbecauseof somethingthatoccurredoutsideofyou. 25. Forexample,For example Icanrememberaskingmyyoungestsonto cleanhisroom.Hesaidhewoulddoitlater clean his room He said he would do it later onlylaternevercame.So,Ipatientlyasked himasecondtime.Again,hesaidhe ddoit him a second time Again he said hed do it later.Thiswentonformostoftheday.Finally, inexasperation,Ilostmytemperwithhim in exasperation I lost my temper with him andyelledathimaboutcleaninghisroom. 26. ThequestioniswhydidIgetangry? 27. MostpeoplewouldsayIgotangrybecauseMost people would say I got angry becausemysonwouldntdowhatIasked.However, therealreasonisthatIusedmyangerasmy the real reason is that I used my anger as my bestattempttogetmysontocleanhisroom. (Justfortherecord,itdidn tworkverywell.) (Just for the record it didnt work very well ) 28. WhyamImakingthisseemingly insignificantdistinction? insignificant distinction? 29. Becauseonceyoubecomeconsciousofthe B bi fh reasonsyouarechoosingyourbehavior,thenyoucanconsciouslychoosetodosomething i lhtdthi moreresponsibleandmoreeffective. 30. Moreresponsiblemeansyouaregettingyour More responsible means you are getting yourneedsmetwithoutinterferingwithotherpeoplemeetingtheirs.Effectivemeansitpeople meeting theirs Effective means itactuallyworkstogetyouwhatyoureallywant.want 31. Whenyouuseanger,itisnotresponsible When you use anger, it is not responsible becauseangeralmostalwaysinterfereswiththeotherpersongettinghisorherneedsthe other person getting his or her needsmet.Youdefinitelyhavenotonlytheright, butalsotheresponsibilitytogetyourneeds but also the responsibility to get your needs metbutnotattheexpenseofsomeoneelse. 32. Underlyingmostreasonsforchoosinganger,youareprobablyattemptingtoimproveanyou are probably attempting to improve an importantrelationshipinyourlife.Angerwill neverworktodothat.Youmaygettheinitial never work to do that You may get the initial satisfactionofgettingtheotherpersontodoyourbidding,butyouhavedamagedyour bidding but you have damaged somethingintherelationship. 33. Youmustmakeaproactiveplanaboutwhat youaregoingtodoinsteadofusinganger.It shouldbesomethingthathasatleastanequalchanceofgettingyouwhatyouwantwhilesupportingothersintheirprocessof gettingtheirownneedsmet. 34. Controlyourangerandand staycalm 35. Thankyou, amirsaiftaz@gmail.comwww.amirsaiftaz.blogspot.comgp </p>