how to support recovery and not support addiction - may 2012
DESCRIPTION
"How to Support Recovery and Not Support Addiction" was presented on Tuesday May 15, 2012, by Dr. Charles F. Gehrke, MD, FACP, FASAM. When all else has failed - what does work when confronted with a loved one’s addiction? What does not work? What can others do to help? What does not help? What role does an individual play in supporting another person’s recovery process? These and other questions will be addressed in order to assist participants to find effective methods to successfully support another person’s recovery, avoid enabling another person’s addiction, and maintain their own health and well-being. This program is part of the FREE, annual Dawn Farm Education Series. The Education Series is organized by Dawn Farm, a non-profit community of programs providing a continuum of chemical dependency services. For information, please contact Matt Statman, LLMSW, CADC, Education Series Coordinator, at 734-485-8725 or [email protected], or see http://www.dawnfarm.org/programs/education-series.TRANSCRIPT
How to Support Recovery and
Not Addiction
How to Support Recovery and
Not Addiction
Dawn Farm Education SeriesMay 15, 2012
Charles F. Gehrke MD, FACP, FASAM
Dawn Farm Education SeriesMay 15, 2012
Charles F. Gehrke MD, FACP, FASAM
5/11/12 2
For the next 75- 90 minutes:For the next 75- 90 minutes:
1. Remember the title of the presentation is: “Support Recovery” - not create or cause it.
2. Put aside any preconceived notions and ideas about addiction and recovery.
3. Put aside your rational thinking for a short time.
1. Remember the title of the presentation is: “Support Recovery” - not create or cause it.
2. Put aside any preconceived notions and ideas about addiction and recovery.
3. Put aside your rational thinking for a short time.
5/11/12 3
ObjectivesObjectives
Learn what we do that supports addiction. Learn how we have to change. Learn what we can do to support recovery.
Learn what we do that supports addiction. Learn how we have to change. Learn what we can do to support recovery.
5/11/12 4
DefinitionsDefinitions Addiction - is a primary, chronic, progressive,
relapsing disease which may be (often is) fatal. Recovery - is a process of overcoming both
physical and psychological dependence on a psychoactive drug and is a commitment to abstinence based sobriety. (ASAM Textbook of Addiction
Medicine ,4th edition) Disease - is a state of ill health characterized
by the abnormal function of one or more organs, a definable set of signs and symptoms, a predictable course and outcome with or without a known cause.
Addiction - is a primary, chronic, progressive, relapsing disease which may be (often is) fatal.
Recovery - is a process of overcoming both physical and psychological dependence on a psychoactive drug and is a commitment to abstinence based sobriety. (ASAM Textbook of Addiction
Medicine ,4th edition) Disease - is a state of ill health characterized
by the abnormal function of one or more organs, a definable set of signs and symptoms, a predictable course and outcome with or without a known cause.
5/11/12 5
Progression of Addiction and CodependencyProgression of Addiction and Codependency
Addict Early Middle Late
no detectable effects beginning to have uses to prevent impact on daily life withdrawal without treatment consequences increase _____________________________________________________________
Codependent’s Progression no visible effects beginning to feel responsible feels compelled to
help for the addict - feels compelled feels scared, insecure to help - feelings of guilt overwhelmed,
desperate
Addict Early Middle Late
no detectable effects beginning to have uses to prevent impact on daily life withdrawal without treatment consequences increase _____________________________________________________________
Codependent’s Progression no visible effects beginning to feel responsible feels compelled to
help for the addict - feels compelled feels scared, insecure to help - feelings of guilt overwhelmed,
desperate
5/11/12 6
5/11/12 7
Famil y Recovery
BOTTOM
ArgumentsDistrust
UnhappinessReligious needs
Denial (fantasy)Threats made but not fulfilled
Takes responsibilityLoss of interest
Imaginary illnessesFaçade
Uses prescribed drugsLoss of self respect
RemorseSocial withdrawalPatent medicine use
Indefinable fearsDrug abuser
Bankruptcy of alibisAdmits defeat
Chronic depressionSuicide attempts
BluesIntolerance
SuspicionProblems multiply
WorryIrritability
Seeps helpAvoiding reference
ExtravaganceSelf-defense
DepressionIrrational behavior
Self-neglectAlibi
DishonestyInfidelity
IsolationBlames others
EscapeJealousy
At ease with lifeReturn of respect
Appreciates spiritual valuesReturn of confidence
New interests developGuilt is gone
Return of self-esteemDiminishing fears
Daily living pattern improvesDevelops optimism
Begins to relaxCover-up ceases
Becomes willing to changeShares with others
Need to control lessensRecognition of role
Seeks helpAcceptance
Recognizes disease Sincere desire for help
Joy
Courage
Love
Makes amends
Peace of mind
Service
New friends
Spiritual examination
Release
Trust, openness
Honesty
Prepared by
5/11/12 8
Support Addiction Support RecoverySupport Addiction Support Recovery
Lack of knowledge about addiction
*Using is a choice *Responding to the behaviors *Enabling * Taking care of it myself
Lack of knowledge about addiction
*Using is a choice *Responding to the behaviors *Enabling * Taking care of it myself
Education about addiction
*Addiction is a disease *Responding to the disease
* Detachment
*Ask for help
Education about addiction
*Addiction is a disease *Responding to the disease
* Detachment
*Ask for help
5/11/12 9
Education: Believing the behaviors we see are a choice supports the disease. Education: Believing the behaviors we see are a choice supports the disease.
“I wish he would…….” “Why doesn’t she………. “ “He should…… “ “If only she would…..” “Why can’t he…..” “Doesn’t she see ….”
“I wish he would…….” “Why doesn’t she………. “ “He should…… “ “If only she would…..” “Why can’t he…..” “Doesn’t she see ….”
5/11/12 10
Education: Understanding addiction is a disease supports recovery.Education: Understanding addiction is a disease supports recovery.
Definition of disease A disease is: a state of ill health with
the abnormal function of one
or more organs definable set of Si/Sx predictable course and outcome known or unknown cause
Definition of disease A disease is: a state of ill health with
the abnormal function of one
or more organs definable set of Si/Sx predictable course and outcome known or unknown cause
5/11/12 11
Defined set of Predictable course & Si’s/Sx’s outcome
Defined set of Predictable course & Si’s/Sx’s outcome
Craving Loss of control Compulsion to
use Continued use in
spite of bad consequences
Craving Loss of control Compulsion to
use Continued use in
spite of bad consequences
5/11/12 12
Education: Addiction is a disease Why? (con’t) Education: Addiction is a disease Why? (con’t)
*Cause may or may not be known.
Currently our understanding of addiction indicates two factors play a major role in the development of addiction.
genetics and environmental factors
Nature (genetics) loads the gun Environment pulls the trigger
However: there are addicts who have no apparent genetic predisposition nor significant environmental risks.
*Cause may or may not be known.
Currently our understanding of addiction indicates two factors play a major role in the development of addiction.
genetics and environmental factors
Nature (genetics) loads the gun Environment pulls the trigger
However: there are addicts who have no apparent genetic predisposition nor significant environmental risks.
5/11/12 13
Education: responding to the behaviors
and not the disease supports the disease. Education: responding to the behaviors
and not the disease supports the disease. Everyone/everything revolves around the
addict - what they do and do not do. We work to connect with the addict - to
maintain a relationship - by exaggerating our response to a behavior
anger rage concern panic frustration retaliation authority dominance persuasion manipulation disagreement hostility * All these responses are motivated by: Fear
Everyone/everything revolves around the addict - what they do and do not do.
We work to connect with the addict - to maintain a relationship - by exaggerating our response to a behavior
anger rage concern panic frustration retaliation authority dominance persuasion manipulation disagreement hostility * All these responses are motivated by: Fear
5/11/12 14
Education: responding to behaviors and not the disease supports the disease.
Education: responding to behaviors and not the disease supports the disease.
Anger: (often results from: fear, guilt, hurt) Three purposes: instruct the addict protect the addict make emotional connections Two kinds: protest against unkind or inconsiderate
treatment hurts of the past and fear of the future The second is very nonproductive and harmful.
Anger: (often results from: fear, guilt, hurt) Three purposes: instruct the addict protect the addict make emotional connections Two kinds: protest against unkind or inconsiderate
treatment hurts of the past and fear of the future The second is very nonproductive and harmful.
5/11/12 15
Education: responding to behaviors and not the disease supports the disease.Education: responding to behaviors and not the disease supports the disease.
Perfectionism: unable to control the addict so keep everything else under control.
Procrastination: sees disaster in everything they might do or try - so why even try.
Caretaking: they take care of everything - pay the rent, make excuses, lend the car, buy the beer!!, clean up all the messes.
Blaming: transfers responsibility to someone else - so I can wait until they get their act together.
Perfectionism: unable to control the addict so keep everything else under control.
Procrastination: sees disaster in everything they might do or try - so why even try.
Caretaking: they take care of everything - pay the rent, make excuses, lend the car, buy the beer!!, clean up all the messes.
Blaming: transfers responsibility to someone else - so I can wait until they get their act together.
5/11/12 16
Education: Enabling supports the disease.Education: Enabling supports the disease.
5/11/12 17
Education: definition of enabling:Education: definition of enabling:
Anything we do or do not do that gets between the addict and the consequences of his/her use of drugs and/or alcohol.
Anything we do or do not do that gets between the addict and the consequences of his/her use of drugs and/or alcohol.
5/11/12 18
Education: Enabling - why do we do it?Education: Enabling - why do we do it? Believe using is a choice. (remember the part of
the brain involved) Believe using is a response to circumstances. Believe using is a lack of will power. Believe using continues because of a lack
understanding of the consequences. Believe using is a moral short coming.
Believing that doing something to correct these conditions will fix (end) the addiction and the behaviors.
Believe using is a choice. (remember the part of the
brain involved) Believe using is a response to circumstances. Believe using is a lack of will power. Believe using continues because of a lack
understanding of the consequences. Believe using is a moral short coming.
Believing that doing something to correct these conditions will fix (end) the addiction and the behaviors.
5/11/12 19
Education: Enabling behaviorsEducation: Enabling behaviors
5/11/12 20
Education: Don’t enable - detach which supports recovery.Education: Don’t enable - detach which supports recovery.
Definition: is to separate ourselves emotionally and spiritually from the damaging effects of our relationship with the addict, to be objective.
we can continue to love and care for them because we are detaching from their damaging behaviors not them learning to detach is difficult and takes practice and time -it is a process-
Definition: is to separate ourselves emotionally and spiritually from the damaging effects of our relationship with the addict, to be objective.
we can continue to love and care for them because we are detaching from their damaging behaviors not them learning to detach is difficult and takes practice and time -it is a process-
5/11/12 21
Education: Don’t enable - detach to support recovery. (con’t)
Education: Don’t enable - detach to support recovery. (con’t)
Practical applications of detachment: do not do things for the addict he/she should be
doing for themselves do not save/rescue them from the consequences
of their actions. (legal, financial, family, job, etc.) do not cover for their mistakes of omission or
commission neither feel guilty nor responsible for their
disease or actions. Detachment: is not getting emotionally
wrapped up in the destructive behavior (the drama) - does not mean doing nothing
Practical applications of detachment: do not do things for the addict he/she should be
doing for themselves do not save/rescue them from the consequences
of their actions. (legal, financial, family, job, etc.) do not cover for their mistakes of omission or
commission neither feel guilty nor responsible for their
disease or actions. Detachment: is not getting emotionally
wrapped up in the destructive behavior (the drama) - does not mean doing nothing
5/11/12 22
Education: We will take care of it ourselves supports the disease. Education: We will take care of it ourselves supports the disease. Common misconception: problems in the
addict’s life are causing the addiction. Common misconception: addiction is the result
of a bad decision or an unfortunate turn of events. So fix the “problems” - fix the addiction give him/her a fresh start provide for an education provide means to start a business Try to “shake some sense” into the addict threaten, punish, relent - cycle
Common misconception: problems in the addict’s life are causing the addiction.
Common misconception: addiction is the result of
a bad decision or an unfortunate turn of events. So fix the “problems” - fix the addiction give him/her a fresh start provide for an education provide means to start a business Try to “shake some sense” into the addict threaten, punish, relent - cycle
5/11/12 23
Education: Get help/assistance which supports recovery and responds to the disease.
Education: Get help/assistance which supports recovery and responds to the disease.
5/11/12 24
Education: Get help/assistance which supports recovery and responds to the disease.
Education: Get help/assistance which supports recovery and responds to the disease. First Step: Ask “Is what I/we are doing working”? or “Does it just seem like it should work”?
Second Step: Be willing to admit I/we may be incorrect in our
assumptions i.e. I/we are wrong/made a mistake!!
Third Step: Ask “Am I/we willing to endure the pain/discomfort of change”? (in attitude, focus)
First Step: Ask “Is what I/we are doing working”? or “Does it just seem like it should work”?
Second Step: Be willing to admit I/we may be incorrect in our
assumptions i.e. I/we are wrong/made a mistake!!
Third Step: Ask “Am I/we willing to endure the pain/discomfort of change”? (in attitude, focus)
5/11/12 25
Education: Get help/assistance which supports recovery and responds to the disease.
Education: Get help/assistance which supports recovery and responds to the disease.
How/where do I/we get help/assistance? *Education: about addiction and
codependency books, conferences, pamphlets, people in recovery
(recovering families, recovering addicts), open AA mtgs.
*Therapy: individual or family - therapist with experience addressing addiction and codependency
*Mutual Support Groups: Al-Anon, Nar-Anon, Alateen, Families Anonymous, others
* Interventionist:
How/where do I/we get help/assistance? *Education: about addiction and
codependency books, conferences, pamphlets, people in recovery
(recovering families, recovering addicts), open AA mtgs.
*Therapy: individual or family - therapist with experience addressing addiction and codependency
*Mutual Support Groups: Al-Anon, Nar-Anon, Alateen, Families Anonymous, others
* Interventionist:
5/11/12 26
ConclusionsConclusions Remember: 1. You didn’t cause it, can’t control it, and
can’t cure it. 2. Taking care of yourself is one the best
ways to help someone else. 3. Supporting recovery is like planting seeds -
it takes time to see results, you have to sow lots of seeds to get results and there could be a crop failure.
4. Get an education about addiction. 5. Ask for and accept help. 6. Set boundaries/limits - that you can and will
enforce -be firm and specific. 7. Be certain the addict/alcoholic knows help
and support is available. 8. Ask the addict/alcoholic ”How can I help
you to support your recovery”?
Remember: 1. You didn’t cause it, can’t control it, and
can’t cure it. 2. Taking care of yourself is one the best
ways to help someone else. 3. Supporting recovery is like planting seeds -
it takes time to see results, you have to sow lots of seeds to get results and there could be a crop failure.
4. Get an education about addiction. 5. Ask for and accept help. 6. Set boundaries/limits - that you can and will
enforce -be firm and specific. 7. Be certain the addict/alcoholic knows help
and support is available. 8. Ask the addict/alcoholic ”How can I help
you to support your recovery”?
9. And most important of all:9. And most important of all:
Remember: “Addicts and alcoholics are not bad people trying to be good but sick people trying to get well”. Connecticut Nursing News 3/02
Remember: “Addicts and alcoholics are not bad people trying to be good but sick people trying to get well”. Connecticut Nursing News 3/02