HOW TO WRITE THE BEST PAPER 1 EVER!!

ELLE AND ODA

BEFORE EXAM PREP

MAKE SURE YOU DO ABSOLUATELY NOTHING BEFORE GOING INTO THE EXAM

YOU CAN’T REALLY PREPARE FOR ENGLISH ANYWAYS SO ALL GEE

KNOWING TOO MUCH INFORMATION CAN HINDER YOUR WRITING AND CONFUSE YOU

DO NOT BOTHER DOING ANY PAST PAPERS BECAUSE THEY WON’T EVEN BE THE ONE FOR YOUR EXAM ANYWAY

DON’T LOOK AT THE MARKSCHEME – IT’LL ONLY CONFUSE YOU

EXAMINER ONLY MARKS YOU ON HOW MUCH THEY LIKE YOU AND HOW NEAT YOUR WRITING IS

CRITERION A: UNDERSTANDING AND INTERPRETATION

Examiner knows what the texts are about so don’t bother writing too much about them

Don’t put quotes in because they are already in the extract

Try and put your own interpretation on paper to show your own originality

EXAMPLE:

if texts are about apples and student talks about oranges because it shows that you know they’re both fruits

CRITERION B: APPRECIATION OF THE TEXT

Don’t bother analyzing that’s the markers job

Tell the examiner what happens in each text so that they don’t miss anything

Discuss whatever comes to mind especially cats!!!!

What is a literary techniques? I’ve never seen ttyl in that texts before pretty sure there aren’t any anyways

CRITERION C: ORGANIZATION AND DEVELOPEMNT:

Talk about whatever whenever

Why bother planning it’s such a waste of time plus its boring!

No paragraphs don’t waste booklets! We need trees more than spaces

Don’t develop any arguments its not a fight just a casual chat between friends – you and your marker should be BFF’s at the end of the essay!

Don’t conclude – examiners can do it themselves they like to do it

CRITERION D: LANGUAGE

Use as many big words as you remember – but don’t worry about their meaning

Smarter the words – smarter your essay

Informal language – write the way you speak to friends

Express yourself in the exam – swear whenever you need to get your feelings out! Its chill no-one will care

Don’t worry about spelling mistakes they’ll get the point

Use slang as much as possible

omg, ttyl, ttfn, ilu, LOL

DURING EXAM

CHOOSE THE SHORTEST TEXTS the shorter the easier!! duhhh

READ QUICKLY – NO WASTING TIME

DON’T BOTHER PLANNING! ITS SO POINTLESS – Just start writing your ideas will come to you all gee

Address the examiner personally strike up a conversation its only polite! Plus they will mark you higher for being nice! Also you can make a bond by telling them you also have a cat! Oh and they are probably bored as well so crack a few jokes lighten the mood!

RELIGION IS A MUST!– GOD KNOWS THE ANSWER TO EVERYTHING AND IS INVOLVED IN EVERYTHING so obvs you gotta talk about him/ them!

WASTE TIME GOING TO THE BATHROOM you’ll need fresh air from all the hard work!

TAKE BREAKS WHEN HAND IS TIRED examiners don’t want you to hurt yourself over writing to them! Just leave a small note and they’ll understand

General essay guide:

Always make assumptions everything is always implied

Always look at gender roles, like women in the kitchen! it’s a key piece of every essay! Apart from cats of course!!

Oh and don’t forget to talk in first person the examiner wants to know its from you not from a robot!

You can also go off on random tangents everyone loves a good rant

Good luck in your exam if you follow this you’ll totally ace it!!!! They might even give you an award or

something!

Best paper 1 ever!!