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F O U N D E D IN 1949 NEWSPAPER OF IMPERIAL COLLEGE UNION
I N S I D E
F E L I X
I F O n l y p8
Sport p7
R e v i e w s p6
T P p5
X—word p4
N o . 423 F r i d a y 11th J u n e , 1976 F R E E !
t
d
a
9 8 H H H H
1 l A
V . - ^ H f ^ mfW
Singleton scoring IC's only
goal of the match
DAME A L I C E OWEN'S Playing Fields at Whetstone,
North London, provided the unlikely setting for a practice
match between IC and an England XI on Wednesday
afternoon. Despite getting lost, the IC squad arrived
before the England team.
A c c o r d i n g to E n g l a n d
Manager , Don R e v i e , t h i s
match was to form the b a s i s
from wh ich he wou ld c h o o s e
h i s f i ve subs t i t u t es for
E n g l a n d C u p qua l i f y i ng
match aga ins t F i n l a n d i n
H e l s i n k i t h i s Sunday .
The match w h i c h l a s t e d
on ly an hour w a s meant as a
dummy game in w h i c h the I C
team took on the ro le o f the
de fens i ve F i n n i s h s ide. In a
pre-match prep t a l k , D o n
R e v i e a s k e d the IC team to
p lay a t ight game and use
man-for-man mark ing w i th a
sweeper at the back . T h e resu l t
of IC emp loy ing these t a c t i c s ,
i n the f i r s t ha l f , meant that
E n g l a n d sco red on l y e igh t
goa l s — d ie f i rs t of w h i c h
came af ter on ly three minutes
of p l a y .
In one of thei r numerous
a t t a c k s , IC managed to
sa l vage a goa l towards the
end of the f i r s t ha l f . T h e
goa l came af ter I C had forced
a throw-in on the r ight ; M i k e
D o y l e headed out , but I C
C a p t a i n , J i m I ley put the b a l l
back i n — i t was f l i c k e d on
by P a t Frampton to P h i l
S ing le ton who turned on the
"Good work-out for the
boys"-Revie
b a l l and pushed it under the
advanc ing body of J o e C o r r i g a n .
A s k e d to modi fy thei r game s l i gh t l y i n the s e c o n d na i f , I C l i f t e d thei r p l a y and th is
produced a much t ighter
game. Wi th l e s s room to
manoeuvre i n , E n g l a n d found
t h e m s e l v e s be ing forced b a c k
and C o r r i g a n had to make a few
s a v e s to keep IG out.
E n g l a n d ' s domina t ion o f
the m i d f i e l d w a s somewhat
reduced w i t h the subs t i t u t i on
o f M i ck P oppe r w i th Steve
B a t e s . IC ventured out more
p o s i t i v e l y dur ing the midd le
o f th i s h a l f and i n one the
more v igorous encoun te rs ,
Tony T o w e r s h a d to l eave the
f i e l d for s e v e r a l minutes w i t h
a wrenched r ight foot af ter
b e i n g i n v o l v e d i n a t a c k l e
w i th Ian Hun t ingdon .
D e s p i t e I C ' s improved
p l a y i n the second ha l f ,
E n g l a n d scored f ive more
goa l s to run out w inners by
13 goa l s to 1.
IC: Kev Allen (subs D
Aslam), Jim Iley, Dave
Brabbim, Ian Huntingdon,
Chris Howley (subs Colin
Durey), Terry Grimwade, Mick
Popper, Phil Singleton (subs
Gareth Roberts), Terry Linden,
Pat Frampton, Bob Dutton.
ENGLAND: Joe Corrigan,
Dave Clements, Mike Doyle,
Brian Greenhoff, Phil Neal,
Ray Kennedy (2), Butch
Wilkins (1), Tony Towers (1),
Peter Taylor (I), Joe Royle (3),
Gordon Hill (S).
Numbers in brackets refers to
goals scored.
t n u n
SOUTH KENSINGTON SPORTS CENTRE
1.° Use of the Centre
The South K e n s i n g t o n Spor ts Commi t tee h a s agreed that
the e x t e n s i o n of the use of the poo l to " f r i e n d s and ne igh
b o u r s " of the C o l l e g e , w h i c h has operated dur ing 1 9 7 5 / 7 6 ,
shou ld cont inue i n d e f i n i t e l y , and that the reduc t ion i n
squash court p l ay i n g s e s s i o n s from 45 to 30 minu tes , f i r s t
in t roduced on 27th Oc tober 1975, shou ld be made permanent .
2." Charges
The Commit tee has agreed that the fo l l ow ing charges
should operate w i t h e f fec t from 1st Augus t 1976:
Students
Swimming poo l
Swimming poo l season t i cke t
Squash Cour t
Staff and G u e s t s
Swimming poo l
lOp
£1 pe r term
£2 pe r annum
lOp
15p Swimming poo l s e a s o n t i c ke t £1.50 per term
£3 per annum
Staff
Squash Cour t 15p
3 . bummer Closures The squash cour ts w i l l be c l o s e d for the normal summer
c losure on and from Saturday 14th Augus t and w i l l re-open on
31st A u g u s t . The Swimming P o o l w i l l be c l o s e d for the
re-decora t ion of the c e i l i n g on and from 1st Augus t and w i l l
re-open on 6th September.
C H J B e a v e n
Cha i rman
South Kens ing ton Sports Commi t tee
Nightline
581 2468
Sports Centre
a
int. 2468
Accommodation Office
Nightline
PRINCES.GDNS.
South Side
Someone to ta lk to
Information o n : -
pregnancy , l e g a l a i d , gay
cen t res , d rugs , la te night
b u s e s e t c .
You will find
Nightline at:
8 P r i n c e s Gardens
South K e n s i n g t o n
Com/ n3
s o o n
THE
G BOOK cfu its
onoplefce set of, i+O
cartoons from the pages
of FELIX ��� ������� to �� Rag
Union Temporary
Accommodation
T h i s year rooms w i l l be a v a i l a b l e , for overn ight accommodat ion of s tudents l ook i ng for f la ts or d i g s , i n the South isde H a l l s . F rom
S A T U R D A Y 18th S E P T E M B E R T o
S A T U R D A Y 24th S E P T E M B E R T h e c o s t w i l l be 50p per n igh t , P l u s a £5 key depos i t . B R I N G A S L E E P I N G B A G -
COLOUR PHOTOS
U R G E N T L Y WANTED Anybody who has any
co lou r photos (trans
pa renc ies or p r in ts ) of
even ts at I C , pa r t i cu la r l y
Morphy Day and R a g
e v e n t s , is a s k e d to contac t
P a u l E k p e n y o n g or C l i v e
Dewey at the F E L I X O f f i ce
as soon as p o s s i b l e .
LOST B l a c k cape los t on the n ight of
F r i d a y 28th May in the J C R .
Would anyone who may have
found i t or knows i ts where
abouts p l ease con tac t the
E d i t o r of F E L I X i n the
F E L I X O f f i ce in t . 2 8 8 1 .
L I F E MEMBERSHIP Cont inue to enjoy the use
of Un ion f a c i l i t i e s after
you l eave C o l l e g e by tak ing
out your l i fe membership
before you l e a v e . A p p l i c a t i o n
forms and more d e t a i l s
a v a i l a b l e from J e n in the
Un ion O f f i c e .
!CPGG • Rive rboa t P a r t y
Ju l y 8th A few t i cke ts left
See P a m in the U n i o n O f f i ce
lst and 2nd years,
N i g h t l i n e needs good l i s t ene rs
C a n anyone who i s in te res ted
i n h e l p i n g w i t h N igh t l i ne next
year p l e a s e come to an intro-
ducy meet ing . It i s on Wed 16th
J u n e , 1.30pm at 8 P r i n c e ' s
G a r d e n s . T h i s i s an opportuni ty
to f ind out more wi thout
commi t t i ng you rse l f . I f y o u l i k e ,
g ive us a r ing f i rs t on 581 2468
URGENT
We are in te res ted i n ob ta in ing informat ion about L o n d o n Proper ty S e r v i c e s or i ts a s s o c i a t e d compan ies (eg Cr aw f o r ds , D and F E s t a t e s , e tc . ) Would anyone who rents rooms from them or has done so in the pas t , e s p e c i a l l y those who have had any d i f f i cu l t y , p l e a s e send a few d e t a i l s to the Student R e s i d e n t O f f i c e r - E l e c t in the U n i o n O f f i c e . P l e a s e send any d e t a i l s you c a n . Thank y o u .
EXCHANGE VISIT " F r i e n d l y 17 y e a r o l d
Por tuguese student eager to
spend month of Augus t wi th
E n g l i s h f am i l y . W i l l i n g to do
housework in return for room
and board . P o s s i b i l i t y of
exchange v i s i t for E n g l i s h
s tudent .
Con tac t — Ped ro Nab inho
Henr igques
R u a A L o t e 31
Quin ta De P a u l o Torge
C a r c a v e l o s Po r tuga l
BABY SITTING SERVICE
I am hop ing to se t up a l i s t of people w i l l i n g to be
b a b y s i t t e r s . C o u l d anyone in te res ted p l ease contac t me
e i ther at the Welfare Cen t re or by in terna l ma i l to Sue
K a l i c i n s k i , Welfare O f f i ce r , IC U n i o n . P l e a s e inc lude name,
address , dept and how often you are a v a i l a b l e to ' s i t ' .
W E L F A R E C E N T R E
The Centre is open Mon — F r i , 12.30 — 1.30pm for genera l
informat ion on lega l p rob lems, con t racep t i on , abor t i on ,
accommodat ion , N H S benef i ts e t c . Tube and bus maps g i ven
away . N U S d iscoun t handbook and V a c Job index ava i l ab le
for c o n s u l t a t i o n . A l s o v i s i t s and h o l i d a y s for overseas
s tuden ts . We are at the top of the Un ion B u i l d i n g .
RESULTS OF T H E F E L I X PHOTOGRAPHIC
COMPETITION
C O L O U R (8 pr in ts )
l s t P L Hunk in
2nd T Aul t
B L A C K & W H I T E
L a n d s c a p e (13 pr in ts)
l s t J P G i l be r t
2nd D Hope
Commended J L a i n e
Por t ra i t (5 pr in ts )
l s t J P G i lbe r t
Commended D Hope
Genera l (16 pr in ts )
l s t D Hope
2nd RM Smyth
Commendc J L a i n e
P Krugger j G Ha ine s J
T h e winn ing en t r ies w i l l be p u b l i s h e d in the next
i s s u e of F f e L I X
m i x 3
Belles with balls! Cado Belle in concert at the Red Cow in Hammersmith
I ' V E S E E N th is band perform on no l e s s
than e ight o c c a s i o n s dur ing the j a s t
three months. I was knocked out the f i rs t
t ime I heared them, but amaz ing ly they
seem to improve wi th every g i g . L a s t week
at the R e d C o w in Hammersmith Road
they p u l l e d off one of the bes t g igs
I've seen in many a long day .
T h e r e ' s no real doubt about i t , i f
good mus i c s t i l l counts for any th ing
these d a y s , then Cado B e l l e w i l l make
some impact — th ings are beg inn ing to
happen for the band at l as t . T h e y ' v e
just s i g n e d a luc ra t i ve cont rac t w i th
Ancho r R e c o r d s , w i th jus t about every
other major record company c lammer ing
for them to put their name on the dot ted
l i n e .
The s i x - p i e c e band h a i l from G l a s g o w ,
that seeming ly e n d l e s s cau ld ron of raw
ta lent . T h e y feature the sure sax and
and f lute of C o l i n T u l l y the o r i g i n a l
gui tar p l a y i n g of A l a n Darby , the t ight-
arse drumming of Davy R o y , the subt le
keyboard work of Stuart M c K i l l o p , the
f ine s i ng ing of Maggie R e i l l y and the
b r i l l i a n c e of b a s s p layer G a v i n H o d g s o n .
B y pure de f in i t i on they cou ld best be
d e s c r i b e d a s a funk band , us i ng st rong
me lod ic songs that are as in te l l egen t l y
wr i t ten as they are t ight ly per formed.
They owe very l i t t le to the sou l o r ien ta ted
s t y l e of thei r f e l l ow count rymen, the
Average White B a n d ; C a d o B e l l e ' s mus ic
being more s t ruc tura l ly de f ined , only the
the foundat ion of the songs be ing anywhere
near sou l based .
The open ing number i s a l w a y s " T i c k
T o c k " , an inst rumenta l that se ts the
pat tern for just about eve ry th ing they
do. T h e y p lay so t ight ly that they put
j us t about every other out f i t p l a y i n g the
pub c i r cu i t to to ta l shame. T h e n comes
"Airport Shutdown", a w e l l s t ructured
song w i th L a t i n over tones . It g i ves the
f i rs t opportuni ty for s inger , Maggie R e i l l y ,
to show off her e x t e n s i v e v o c a l range.
T h e song has a l ight a i r to i t , wi th
T u l l y s w i t c h i n g to f lu te and M c K i l l o p
u s i n g s t r ing s y n t h e s i s e r . T h e intra of
" G o / to Love" has on ly the s l i gh tes t
l ean ing towards the A W B and the band
are back into thei r t ight , funky groove.
Throughout the se t , the band demon
st rated the maturi ty of thei r w r i t i ng ,
from the ul t ra-funk of "Next Best Thing"
to "Stone's Throw from Nowhere",
a b a l l a d that reeks of sheer c l a s s . A n
ins t rumenta l , "E ill", i s the only song
that sounds s l i g h t l y out of contex t w i th
the rest of the se t . P l a y e d in un i son of
a f r ighten ing pace by T u l l y and Darby ,
i t perhaps owes more to the mus i c of
s a y , the E l e v e n t h H o u s e , before com ing
towards the end when it s l o w s down and
Maggie comes in wi th some f ine sca t
s i n g i n g , tak ing i t back into the Cado
B e l l e mou ld . The band end w i t h the
rous ing "Still Running", the song h a v i n g
a s l i gh t resemblance to K o k o m o ' s end of
set number, " / can understand it", w i th
the e x c e l l e n t gu i ta r i s t Darby p u l l i n g off
an ext raord inary ex tended gui tar s o l o , the
song guaranteed to br ing any house
down.
If taken in the r ight con tex t , th is
band i s a l ready as good as Kokomo
were at the i r bes t , and i f hand led by the
right producer , Cado B e l l e cou ld have a
debut a lbum on thei r hands to equa l
A W B ' s f i r s t A t l a n t i c reco rd ing . See th is
band now, when i t s cheap .
Ian Morse
Al l that glitters is not gold The G-band in concert at Hastings
Pier Pavilion
T H E L A S T E n t s concer t of th i s year
takes p l a c e in the Great H a l l next
Sa tu rday , 19th J u n e . T h e G - B a n d
(formerly the G l i t t e r B a n d — even minus
the " l i t t e r " they don ' t seemed to have
improved) w i l l be per forming. H o p e f u l l y
a coup le o f hundred sc reaming l i t t l e g i r l s
w i l l turn up, o therwise th is concer t
c o u l d be a f i n a n c i a l d i s a s t e r . However ,
E n t s C h a i r m a n , Andy H igman , s a y s that
they have s o l d more advance d t i c k e t s at
th is s tage than for any other concer t .
A t H a s t i n g s , most of the aud ience
seemed intent o n en joy i n g themse lves
wha tever happened . T h e resu l t was 400
drunken boppers l eap ing about , a
minor i ty of whom fa in ted in front of the
s tage , sc reaming , c r y i ng , e t c . T h e most
d i s tu rb ing point conce rn ing the concer t
was that the band ran out of songs after
an hour . Howeve r , i f you ' re s t i l l around
next Saturday, get drunk, go a long ,
l a u g h , scream and sob !
Phi l Dean
Bankside Globe Playhouse present
"Viva Espana"
by Anne McArthur
for two weeks from Monday 14th June
at 8.00pm Tickets £1.00
m i x
Bear IC on your chest!
Wear the all new IC Sweat Shirt
Available NOW from IC Union Office
Only £3.00 and all profits to RAG!
Colours: Red, sky-blue, navy, bottle green, maroon, black
and white
Sizes: X-large, large, medium, and small
Printing: White on all colours and Royal on the White shirts
P R I Z E C R O S S W O R D No.39 A C R O S S
I. Great S F wr i ter
I I . P raye r a l t e rna t i ve l y e s t sur
14. Something to b o i l i n
16. Near l y more than my F r e n c h
churchman
19. A i r of mine
20 . F a m o u s author shor tened
22 . St r ike a gust
2 3 . A l m o s t l i near (non-word)
26. L i n e s of winter pears
28 . Hundred and ten for note
w i th c o m p r e s s i v e strength
30 . T/ook off f loa t ing matter
3 1 . Store house for ' E ' tape
32 . Wei rd , c reepy , not e a g l e s
37. O l d auburn s a i l o r 53
39. L o t s o f 12 down
4 0 . S ingu la r l y naughty (Oh ,
what a g ive away! )
4 2 . S c o t s uproar r ider
43 . N i t c h e s in l a p s e s
5 0 . C a p o n e ' s right hand a t t a c h e s
warn ing
53. See 37
5 7 . A m i s s i s as good as
(not 53)
5 9 . T h e F r e n c h love r c o v e r s up
6 1 . Me It moult commonly
62 . Bar red-b i rd home
6 3 . Idea i t ' s e l e c t r o n i c a l l y
s a t i s f i e d
6 5 . F i x hook on c h a r
64 . N i c e and coo l (Owaga! )
6 6 . Here la rge ly minus water
1 2 3 *- s L 1 t 1 •0
II n >• li A.
'•It 11
2o 21 22.
23 V lb 17
*t Jc
V tx i3 »+ ts Ik U
l
.«*
w. *i **•
r **> *7 «*
So f j , J3
a n '•V
hi
t x hi
65
B A C K
18. Infrequent ly seen rear
2 1 . P u t in job or put it on pap
25 . C u r v e on car
4 1 . £0 s i r . C h e a p an imal
4 5 . Bet ter than F o r t r a n
46. Y o u f i end , no longer i s he
god
48. Shat is p u l l e d up
55 . Upr igh t stone or s t e e l
60. The wo l f o f the Steppes
was born to be t h i s .
DOWN
1. Oxford group for c r u s a d i n g
w i th M R C A or e t c
2 . Mak ing peace in r ice
4. Hearty v e s s e l
5. , , are symbo ls o f th is
7. T h e c i v i l i s a t i o n that ended
i n the 15th century
9. Come l i ke fore igners ego
compl iment
10. How to get through exams
12. S ingu la r 39
13. One gas A n n has
15. V a l u a b l e key mater ia l
16. A n A u s s i e frog mouth,
what ever that is
17. P o u n d s for one to mix
24 . P u r p l e but ter f ly
2 7 . E n t a n g l e me k i n g to b o i l
30. O s c o l l a t i n g no t i ces?
32. Kno t
34. See after las t due
37. Become i l l (14 p in t s? )
38. E v e r y
5 1 . One c o l l e c t i o n of i tems,
but p lenty
52 . Doc to r on C o r n i s h h i l l
d r i ves car
53 . More e p i l e p s y , or repa i r boat
54. Consumed f r iends in
manuscr ip t
U P
3. A r c h i t e c t of teeth
6. A toro ida l sweet
29 . ( )
36. P i s s off , —. (common remark
to teacher)
43 N ine days of prayer
44 . Po r t i ons out auc t ion goods
46 . Sunday morning — time
4 7 . Weight at c a r
49 . Ho le i t makes in stone too l
55. F i r e p l a c e wh i ch almost,
c o u l d be measured i n degrees
56. O r i f i c e
58 . G a u l (even for F r e n c h )
60. A ca rango id f i s h
NB: Due to incorrect numbering
of this week's crossword grid
by our compiler, the following
sets of CLUES need to be
renumbered thus:-
ACROSS: Clues 37-66 should
be read as 36—65
Clue 32 should be read as 34.
BACK: Clues 41-60 should be
read as 40—59
DOWN: Clues 34-54 should be
read as 33—53
UP: Clues 36-60 should be
read as 35—59
T h e winner of C r o s s w o r d N o .
38 was D P o s n e r , E l e c E n g 2 .
The £1 p r i z e w i l l be g i v e n to
the f i rs t cor rec t so lu t i on drawn
out of the E d i t o r ' s Hat at noon
next Wednesday June 16. T h e
E d i t o r ' s d e c i s i o n w i l l be f i n a l .
So lu t ion to C rosswo rd N o . 3 8 .
•c V: i i
....
i< 7
n b (
r
o h N \U N
0 \ An 0 " • • • , o
5 '"o T A '..11:. * H i y A M 'ill SL
M t _(> Li Vie I
l\ /C Vr / iE "l 7
n "l. 7 "fj ...
£ K N' It
b \i
?
*',:- M e
IE A
« I V I
f T
U
tJ
5
De Return O' De Black Panther I A P O L O G I S I N ' fo ' de l a c ' o ' de
P r e s i d e n t i a l c o l l u m l a s ' w e e k . Y o ' no
doubt n o t i c i n ' de r e v o l t i n ' s tak o ' de
U n i o n f loor d u r i n ' de week . D i s am due
to de c l e a n e r s not tu rn in ' up fo ' work on
account o ' h a v i n ' dere heads s tuck in
de mop bucke ts an* de h igh i ns iddence
of mouf i n fec t i on due to P r e s i d e n t i a l
s i z e t w e l v e s e s . D i s am due to a s l i gh t
m i s u n n e r s l a n d i n ' whereby de c l e a n i n '
s taf f not b e i n ' ab le to d i f fe rent ia te the
d i f fe rence ' tween de p r i c e l e s s prose wot
I bang in ' out l a s ' Munday, bank ho l ' day
a n ' a l l , a n ' de usua l N U F c i r c u l a r s
t r y in ' to f logg de s tudes de s p e c i a l l ine
o ' K o r e a n c a l c u l a t o r s , never to be
repea ted , c o s ' o ' de heavy p e n a l t i e s fo '
r e c e i v i n ' an de noo l ine in c o s y ny lon
tents f o ' two . A n y w a y de c l e a n e r s
th rowin ' de a r t i ca l in de tash kan a n '
de corpora t ion c o m i n ' roun ' in record
time w i d de d u s ' c a r t be fo ' y o s truly
hadt ' c h a n c e t ' r e s c u e i t . A n y recurrants
o ' d i s d i s p i c k a b l e ac t a n ' dey g o i n ' to
be c l e a n i n ' up de chokey a n ' not de
h ive o ' acce rdemic l e a r n i n !
While c o m p l a i n i n ' , I c a n ' t unners tand
why y o s truly not b e i n a r sked to cobb le
together de A l t e r n a t i n ' P r o p e c k e r t e r u s .
I soon f i x i n ' upp de m isp r i n t s i n i t .
P u s s o n ' l y I think dere am no need to t e l l
de nex ' bunch o ' s tudes bout de re f lec tory
p r i c e s an ' de ren ts . A l l y o ' gotta do i s
g i t de armed thugs c o l l e c t i n ' de d u e s .
De popper lace soon l e a r n i n ' sw i f t
payment d o i n ' a lot to l e s s e n de c h a n c e s
o ' b e i n ' s t ruck down by mys te r ious
d i s e a s e s such de butt o ' de a m a z i n '
Thompson sub-masch ine i tem.
T u r n i n ' mah gaze towards d i s
pubbe r l i ca t i on , w i d a l l dese spouf
a r t i k a l s , no-one know in ' wot to b e l i e v e .
De s tudes not sure if dey c a n run down to
de Na t West manager c o n c e r n i n ' de
grant r i se to te l l h im it tu rn in ' out a l l
r ight aftah a l l , or wedder it de dreded
hoax . A l s o wot de h e l l am de b in ts
w r i t i n ' de I F c o l l u m s d o i n ' . O b v i o u s l y de
prox imi ty o ' de exams c a u s i n ' dry rot to
seep thru ' de brane c e l l s . De l a s ' three
ef for ts c o n s i s t i n ' of
(i) a long w inded addvert fo ' a tr ip to go
a n ' laugh at de Y a n k e e t ou r i s t s ;
( i i ) some c h i c k w a s t i n ' ha l f a page
ramb l in ' on 'bout de romant ic w e d d i n '
w id de v in tage R o l l s e s , de obnox ious
b o i z e , a n ' de V a s e l i n smeered on de
c a m ' r a l e n s e s to d i s g u i s e de b r ides
c o n d i t i o n . Mahse l f , I p re f fe r in ' de qu ie t
wedd in w id de b r i des father keep in de
s i l e n c e r on de S m i t h ' n ' Western throughout
de ceremony;
( i i i ) a statement dat " n o - o n e at- I F has
green s a l i v a , or t a l o n s , or ha i r s on
de pa lms of de h a n d s " . Wel l yo shou ld
see sum o ' dem hang in ' r oun ' de trendy
bred shop i n Bu te Street , queue i n ' up
fo ' de c r o i s s a i n t s . F a r as I c a n s e e , dey
a l l got ta lons pa in ted green w i d de
Max F a c t o r P o l y u r e t h a n v a r n i s h . A l s o de
L e i c h n e r products f o ' de f a c e , no ' su i ted
to s c a r e i n ' of f de e v i l s p i r i t s dan a t t rac t i n '
de G u i l d s t rash whose i d e a o ' h igh
f a s h i o n am a s lopp sh i r t w i d ma tch in '
F u l l e r ' s tie a n ' beer s t a i n s .
No doubt y o ' h e a r i n ' my mate C h a s
C l a r k e in one o ' h i s sober moments ,
moan in ' 'bout de l a c ' o ' j obs f o ' t eechers
a n ' g raduates . I s a y i n ' we no longer
t o l e ra t i n ' de unemployment. E v r y one
h a v i n ' to g i t t hemse lves a j ob , by force
i f n e c e s s a r y . I s i c k a n ' t i red o ' h a v i n ' t '
wo tch de s tudes l y i n ' roun ' de Q u e e n ' s
Tower , tw idd l i n ' de thums a n ' p i c k i n ' de
conk , w h i l e de economy g o i n ' down de
pan , a n ' a lo t o ' peop le not k n o w i n '
where de nex ' s a b b a t i c a l c o m i n ' f rom.
T . P E E
Middle East Comment T H E I S R A E L I government a t t rac ts
c r i t i c i s m when it
(a) re jec t s P a l e s t i n i a n L i b e r a t i o n
O r g a n i s a t i o n ( P L O ) ta lk o f a " s e c u l a r ,
democra t i c s ta te i n P a l e s t i n e " e tc and
(b) i s s c e p t i c a l of a so lu t i on to the A r a b
P a l e s t i n i a n problem ou ts ide the contex t
of Jo rdan .
I wou ld l i ke to show that th is p o s i t i o n
does merit at l e a s t some sympathy ,
e s p e c i a l l y w i th regard to po in t (a).
C o n s i d e r L e b a n o n , a good up-to-date
example of an opportuni ty to implement
the p r i n c i p l e s of a " d e m o c r a t i c , secu la r
secu la r s t a t e . " D e s p i t e the fact that
L e b a n o n used to be h e l d up a s an
example in the A rab wor ld (the on ly one!)
where two very large r e l i g i o u s groups
c o u l d c o e x i s t w i t h reasonab le f reedom,
L e b a n o n ' s p o l i t i c a l e d i f i c e has stood on
f rag i le foundat ions for much of the time
s i nce i ts comple te independence from
Sy r i a in 1944, and we have no ar r i ved
at the point where the o ld ba lance of
fo rces has comp le te l y broken down ,
not wi thout P L O c o n n i v a n c e .
Bu t e v e n before the t rag ic events of
the l a s t few months i t w a s s t i l l a fact
of L e b a n e s e p o l i t i c a l l i f e that the
r e l i g i o u s background of an i n d i v i d u a l
p l a y e d a major ro le in h i s appointment to
any p u b l i c post or p o s i t i o n o f power .
Now, why shou ld t h i s be so? The answer
i s that there just are no fully secular
states in the Middle East. T h i s fact i s
ne i ther good nor bad ; i t jus t i s and h a s
to be recogn i sed as s u c h .
In L e b a n o n we g raph i ca l l y see A r a b s
of a l l k i nds k i l l i n g other A rabs of a l l
k inds and l i t t l e or no ta lk of a " s e c u l a r ,
democra t ic s t a t e . "
F o r d i s c u s s i o n of (b) I wou ld l i k e to
cons ide r the pre-1967 border be tween
Is rae l and Jo rdan , when the West B a n k
a l s o came under the sovere ign ty of
K i n g H u s s e i n . T h e n , the major i ty of
Arab P a l e s t i n i a n s in the Midd le E a s t
l i v e d i n Jo rdan , and the major i ty of
Jo rdan ian c i t i z e n s were P a l e s t i n i a n .
Therefore it wou ld not be unreasonable to
think of th i s as a P a l e s t i n i a n s ta te . But
K i n g H u s s e i n i s not a P a l e s t i n i a n , and
so i f h i s government i s not representative
of P a l e s t i n i a n w i s h e s , a c a s e c a n be
made out that t h i s was an in te rna l
Jo rdan ian prob lem, and that H u s s e i n and
h i s group perhpas shou ld not be in power.
If I s rae l were to return J u d a u a and
Samar ia (the o c c u p i e d West B a n k ) to
Jo rdan , there wou ld i n fact be a return to
a s i t ua t i on that e x i s t e d for the twenty
yea rs after the 1947 U N par t i t i on p lan
w h i c h had" p rov ided for the c r e a t i o n o f
a separate A rab P a l e s t i n i a n s ta te . It
seems that w h i l e the West Bar ik was
under Jo rdan ian rule few peop le (except
perhaps some P a l e s t i n i a n s ) b e l i e v e d in
the j u s t i c e of an 'au tonomous or
independent A r a b P a l e s t i n i a n s ta te . Bu t
th ings have changed and more people
subsc r ibe to th is po int of v i e w , and it
c a n be argued, r ight ly or w rong l y , that a
large P a l e s t i n i a n A rab en t i t y on the pre-
1967 terr i tory of Jordon in p l a c e of the
J u s s e i n regime wou ld be a more v i a b l e
and s tab le state than a s m a l l one squeezed
between Is rae l and an E a s t B a n k Jo rdan .
I have been somewhat br ie f and
c h o s e n on l y two a s p e c t s of a very comp lex
q u e s t i o n . O f course the I s rae l i government
i s not a l w a y s r ight , neve r the less I have
endeavoured to ind i ca te that i ts fore ign
p o l i c i e s have been formulated in the
con tex t of Middle East p o l i t i c s a n d on
b a s i s of b i t ter h i s t o r i c a l l e s s o n s , and
therefore never meri t w h o l e s a l e
condemnat ion .
D O R I S C H M E T T E R L I N G
PHOENIX. SF SOC is coming! P H O E N I X i s a magaz ine
o c c a s i o n a l l y found in s m a l l
heaps in the F E L I X O f f i c e .
The incoming E d i t o r i s at
p resent about and i s ac t i ve i n
t ry ing to h a s s l e people into
con t r i bu t i ng copy for the next
i s s u e . Ba r r i ng f i re , f l ood and
natura l d i s a s t e r ( f a i l i ng
exams) , Phoenix shou ld be
p u b l i s h e d ear ly in December
before we a l l go home for
C h r i s t m a s .
If you as an IC student or
a member of a s o c i e t y , have
some mater ia l (any type) of
in terest or pho tog raphs /
ar twork, then p l e a s e communic
a t e , before June 20th, w i th
D a v e F o x a l l v i a the F E L I X
O f f i c e or Chemis t r y le t ter
rack so we may meet and
c h e w over the d e t a i l s in the
bar . (where e l s e ? )
D a v e F o x a l l
P H O E N I X Ed i t o r - e l ec t
D i d you l i ke 2001 and
want more? A re Star Trek
re-runs becoming repe t i t i ve?
T h e n jo in the c l u b . It i s n ' t
e a s y . IC S c i e n c e F i c t i o n
C l u b does not e x i s t ye t , but
I 'm' work ing to remedy that .
If you have ever been t i c k l e d
by an A s i m o v or b i t ten by a
S i l v e r h e r g , there i s no cure .
He lp me form a c lub before
your w i thd rawa l symptoms
set i n .
B O B SHAW and B R I A N
S T A B L E F O R D w i l l be
lec tu r ing next term and I
have more p lans in the p ipe l ine !
I hope to unfo ld v i s t a s
dwar f ing A s i m o r , C l a r k e and
W e l l s , and s t imu la t i ng wr i t i ng
by members o f the C o l l e g e , I
know there i s p lenty of latent
ta lent . If you want to know
more, drop me a l ine or c a l l
by C H A R L I E R A D L E Y , P h y s i c s
2 , 326 F a lmou t h H a l l , int 3354.
Music
Essentially
a live sport Rory Gallagher: The Story So Far
T H E R E A R E at present two a lbums on
re lease by P o l y d o r fea tur ing c o m p l i c a t i o n s
from prev ious a lbums by Ro ry G a l l a g h e r .
One i s o r i g i n a l l y t i t l ed " R O R Y
G A L L A G H E R " i n the " S P E C I A L " s e r i e s
and one c a l l e d " T H E S T O R Y SO F A R " .
H a v i n g l i s t ened to the lat ter I d e c i d e d
that h i s s ty le of mus i c i s l oud and
e x c i t i n g (as opposed to the ted ium of
Sabbath 's e x c e s s i v e vo lume) .
The s l eeve notes c l a i m that he has
e s t a b l i s h e d h i m s e l f a s one o f the
wor ld ' s top b lues a r t i s t s , t h i s I do not
doubt i f the t racks on th is a lbum are
representat ive of h i s genera l q u a l i t y .
T h e album c o n v e y s the atmosphere of a
l i ve concer t in to my s m a l l room, no
l i t t l e feat cons ide r i ng my s y s t e m , and
s i nce b lues i s e s s e n t i a l l y a l i v e spor t ,
T h i s a lbum s u c c e e d s where others have
f a i l e d .
Flappers Unite! B U D G I E ' S la tes t a s s a u l t on the cen t ra l
nervous sys tem h a s the a m a z i n g t i t le o f
"If I were Briltania I'd waive the Rules,"
A p r e c i s e l y p roduced a lbum des igned to
i n f l i c t b ra in damage on a l l w i th in f i f ty
yards of the s p e a k e r s . T h i s e f f ec t , of
c o u r s e , i s on ly ob ta ined w i th the volume
on f u l l , but who wou ld dream of p l a y i n g
B u d g i e q u i e t l y ? ? ? Burke S h e l l e y ' s
v o c a l s have now l os t the i r " p l a n t - l i k e "
q u a l i t i e s , and the i n c e s s a n t beat no
longer sounds l i ke a Sabbath re jec t —
they are now s ta r r ing i n the i r own r ight .
A s a lways they have the B u d g i e
subt le b i t , two t r a c k s : one c a l l e d "Heaven
Knows Our Name" and one c a l l e d
"Black Velvet Stallion". B o t h are
e x c e l l e n t p i e c e s show ing more imag in
a t ion than the other t r a c k s . B u d g i e are
de f in i t e l y p rog ress ing and show e v e n
greater promise for the f u tu re . . . Love to
a l l the l i t t l e f i s h e s !
G N O M E
F E L I X Published by the Editor on
behalf of I .C.Union Publication Board, printed Off-set Litho on the premises.
Fe l ix Office,PrinceConsort Rd ,
London SW7 2BB-
T e l . 01 589 5111 ext 1048,1042
© F E L I X , 1976
E D I T O R : Paul Ekpenyong
Many thanks to G i l l McConway, Ian Morse, Phi l Dean, Duncan Suss, Dave Knights, Dave Hopkins, Terry Westoby, Dave Foxa l l , John McCloskey and Cl ive Dewey.
Transcended with vitality-
Jazz-rock barrier Shamal - Gong
S H O R T O F T H E one s m a l l symbo l i ns ide
the cove r , G o n g have now le f t the
concep t s of the "Planet Gong" far
b e h i n d . T h e y have a l s o rep laced three»
invent ive m u s i c i a n s w i th one v i o l i n i s t ,
a change in m u s i c a l d i r e c t i o n that seemed
to s p e l l d i s a s t e r , but w h i c h h a s , i ns tead
of des t roy ing them, sent them into yet
unheard o f realms of c r e a t i v i t y .
A l though two of the t racks s t i l l
feature Steve H i l l age and Miquet te
G i r a u d y , the change i n s t y l e i s obv ious
Theatre
and eminent ly p l e a s i n g . The most notable
t rack " B a m b o o j i " features H i l l a g e and
e x t e n s i v e f lu tework by D id ie r Malherbe
and sounds l i ke a H i m a l a y a n shepherds
love s o n g . The p e r c u s s i o n , as u s u a l ,
h a s a large part to p l a y in the a lbum,
ranging from b e l l s to v i b e s a n d gongs .
In genera l , Gong seem to be tran
scend ing the J a z z - R o c k barr ier w i th new
v i t a l i t y , the on ly d isappo in tment be ing
that H o w l e t t ' s v o i c e i s not as forcefu l 1
nor d i s t i n c t i v e as D a e v i d A l l e n ' s or
Steve H i l l a g e ' s .
D A P P L E T O N
Theatre round-up O F T H E T W E N T Y odd p lays that I have
seen in the past eight months in L o n d o n ,
f i f teen are s t i l l running and can be seen
w h i l s t you are recover ing from your exams
dur ing the next for tn ight . C o n v a l e s c e n c e
from e x a m i n i t i s i s , of c o u r s e , not
compulsory for the enjoyment of l i ve
theatre, and I w i l l ce r ta in l y cont inue to
report on the theatre in any ed i t i ons of
F E L I X pub l i shed through the summer.
F i r s t l y there is the Na t i ona l Theat re
on the South B a n k . If you can bare to
queue ear ly in the morning the box o f f i ce
opens at 8.30am to s e l l sea t s at £1 or
50p for that d a y ' s per formances. The
p lays in the current repertoi re are a pretty
mixed bunch . Hamlet is fa i r l y ted ious -
A lbe r t F i n n e y is twenty years too o ld and
the product ion is far too long. The
Playboy of the Western World i s great
fun — fu l l of en thus iasm and a great
p leasure to w a t c h . Plunder is another
joy to s e e . D i n s d a l e Landen p lays the
de l igh t fu l s i l l y a s s part wi th perfect
t im ing . Watch It Come Down is the new
Osborne p lay , if you l i ke to see married
coup les tear ing each other to b i ts then
th is i s the play for you (a l te rnat ive ly you
cou ld try s i t t i ng in front of a t e l e v i s i o n ) .
A t the A l b e r y , the N a t i o n a l ' s
product ion of Pe te r Sha f fe r ' s Equus is a
must. C o l i n B l a k e l y g i v e s a compe l l i ng
performance as the c h i l d psych ia t r i s t
t ry ing to come to terms w i th h i s marr iage
w h i l s t t reat ing a j uven i l e de l iquent who
has commit ted a par t i cu la r l y unp leasant
c r ime . T h i s is a very w e l l cons t ruc ted
p lay and i s w e l l worth a v i s i t . Ano ther
very thea t r i ca l p lay i s A tho l F u g a r d ' s
Dimetos at the Comedy . The p leasure of
hear ing P a u l S c o f i e l d speak ing such
poet ic l i nes i s immense. Those of you
whose in teres ts l ie in the f i e ld of levers
and pu l l e y s might be p leasan t l y su rp r i sed
by Mr S c o f i e l d ' s e x p o s i t i o n on the
sub jec t .
(Tom Stoppard 's Dirty Linen (which
opens at the A r t s Theat re C l u b on June
16th) is a g lo r ious romp around a
commit tee room of the House of Commons
— compu lsory v i e w i n g f a a l l s toppard
f ans . Otherwise Engaged is s t i l l at the
Q u e e n ' s a l though A l a n B a t e s has left
the part c rea ted for him by Simon Gray . If
you know what it is l i ke to be unable
to p lay a new L P as a s u c c e s s i o n of
f r iends drop round for co f fee you might
enjoy t h i s .
When it comes to M ike S to t t ' s Funny
Peculiar at the Ga r r i c k , I am lost for
wo rds . C l e v e r though the play i s , I found
it u n n e c e s s a r i l y crude though most of the
aud ience seemed to be hav ing the
funn ies t t ime of thei r l i v e s . Joan
P lowr igh t is s t i l l in the la test Ben
T ravers farce at the L y r i c . Pe rhaps Mr
Stoot cou ld learn a few th ings from Mr
T ravers (90 years o ld and s t i l l going
s t rong) . In The Bed Before Yesterday,
M i s s P lowr igh t p lays the widow s t i l l
recover ing from the shock of her wedding
night so many years before.
There are ce r ta in t ypes o f . p l a y s that
have l i t t le appea l to me. I th ink it w i l l
have become obv ious to you dur ing the
past year wh ich those are and I leave it
to you to f ind them out. I suspec t that
O ' N e i l l ' s The Iceman Cometh would have
come into th is ca tegory . It wasn ' t
rev iewed o n . th is page because i l l n e s s
in the c a s t prevented i t s open ing .
• T H O M A S S T E V E N S O N
WANTED
FELIX
STAFF!!
Anyone in te res ted i n work ing for
F E L I X next year in any c a p a c i t y
shou ld con tac t C l i v e Dewey at the
F E L I X O f f i c e .
7
Cr icket
Prison officers beaten
Orienteer ing
Womble bashing L A S T S U N D A Y ' I C O C went
Womble bash ing on Wimbledon
Common. T o avo id i den t i f i ca t i on
and any re ta l ia t ion we ran
under assumed names . . . a
leg w a s hot ly con tes ted by
L e a k e y and K e s e l z e r up to the
last three con t ro l s where
K e s e l z e r f i z z l e d out to f i n i s h
15 minutes down. B r a u n s c h u l t z
rather d i ve rse c o l l e c t i o n of
runners formed the " E m p i r i c a l
O v e r s h o o t e r s " ; I C O C K A L e a k e y
(A ian L e a k e y ) , Webbs Wonder
(Steve Webb) and T ' L a d
(Mike Welford) and stra ight
from the heart of Youngs land
came the Wandsworth R a m s "
compr i s i ng of A l K e s e l z e r
(Ian Isherwood) R B raunschu l t z
(Rob A l l i n s o n ) and A Doormouse
(Pe te Johnson ) . The cou rse
was 6.4k long and the con t ro l s
very we l l h idden - resu l t i ng in
many oaths and reso lu t i ons to
g i v e up Or ien teer ing . The f i rs t
Carlsberg-
Sunday
Telegraph
Student
Travel
Awards C a r l s b e r g , in con junc t ion
w i t h the Sunday T e l e g r a p h ,
are o f fer ing awards of up to
£100 to students for
en te rp r i s ing and wor thwh i le
t rave l pro jects that need
f i n a n c i a l support . Students
who rece i ve a C a r l s b e r g -
Sunday Te leg raph A w a r d
must wr i te a fo l low-up
1,500 word e s s a y on their
pro ject and there w i l l be a
further p r ize of £250 for
any p u b l i s h e d i n the
Sunday T e l e g r a p h .
The c l o s i n g date for
ent r ies i s June 30th next .
Students shou ld send
d e t a i l s of their t rave l
pro jec ts to '
The C a r l s b e r g - S u n d a y
Telegraph Student Travel
Awards
10 Doughty Street
London WC1N 2PL
had a c l e a n fast run to c l o s e
the gap on Wonder and the
Overshoo te rs to one minute .
We were in for a fas t c l o s e
f i n i sh we thought unt i l L a d
and Doormouse dec ided to
reduce the pace to that more
su i ted to a hot Sunday
a f ternoon.
The f ina l pos i t i ons were :
Emperlal Overshooters 6th
Leakey 50.20, Wonder 67.32,
Lad 90.15
Wandsworth Rams 8th
A Keselzer 65.15, Brannschultz
54.20, Doormouse 93.30.
Pot A C O M B I N A T I O N of hard
t ra in ing and a fast f lat cou rse
he lped the who le IC c r o s s
country team break the s i x
minute m i l i ng barr ier in the
F l e e t 4 mi le road race last
Saturday, and two of the
team broke the f i ve minute
m i l i ng barr ier .
T h i s race w a s c h o s e n for
i ts lack of c l a s s and d i s t i n c t
medal p rospec ts , but hopes
were gradua l l y shat tered as
more and more exper ienced
c l u b road runners turned up,
a l l obv i ous l y at t racted by the
p o s s i b i l i t y of a pot hunt.
The IC team was lead home
as u s u a l , b y R o b (B raunschu l t z )
A l l i n s o n , s t i l l recover ing from
traumat ic expe r i ences in the
Fave rsham 17km race on Whit
Monday. H i s t ime of 19.08 put
him into 23rd p o s i t i o n , just
behind the main bunch. In
last years race th is time wou ld
have seen him in 6th p o s i t i o n !
L A S T S A T U R D A Y IC 1st XI
c o n v i n c i n g l y beat the Warders
of H M ' s Por r idge at B r i x ton by
196 runs in the greates t
escapade s i n c e Rona ld B i g g s
went South . R o b Y o u n g aga in
narrowly m issed h i s 50 and
R i c h a r d P a s h l e y h is 39 dur ing
I C ' s inn ings in wh ich 234 runs
were s c o r e d .
When it came I C ' s t ime to
f i e l d the cap ta in had a hard
time r e s i s t i n g p l e a ' s from h i s
p l a y e r s , most of whom w i s h e d
to bow l . N o b l y , he a l s o res i s t ed
A N E X A M weakened 2nd XI
were soon in t rouble aga ins t
the C h a r i n g - X med ics las t
Saturday. On a pi tch of va r iab le
bounce and wi th a coup le of
dub ious Ibw d e c i s i o n s in the
f i rs t three f as t - f a l l i ng w i c k e t s ,
a 2nd XI c o l l a p s e seemed
imminent.
However , strong bat t ing
from Jef fs (18) enab led IC to
avo id ignomin ious de fea t .
U e s f u l con t r ibu t ions from
Sheth and Hutson gave IC a
mediocre total of 74 .
hunt Not far behind was Steve
(Backache ) Webb in 31st
pos i t i on in a t ime of 19 .39 .
F a s t improving c a p t a i n -
e l e c t Pe te Johnson was narrowly
beaten by y e s t e r d a y ' s s tar
P a u l (Grannie) C l a r k e . Both
however recorded respec tab le
t imes , be ing 22.30 and 22.27
r e s p e c t i v e l y . L a s t man home
for IC , but s t i l l w e l l w i th in
the magic s i x minute m i l i ng
barr ier w a s Andy D a v e y , 88th
in 23 .26 .
Hav ing by now worked up
a mighty th i rs t we adjourned to
a nearby inn ment ioned in the
Good Book and sampled the
de l i gh ts of G a l e s H S B .
For thcoming even ts on the
C r o s s country C l u b s summer
ca lende r are the Hanwe l l ' 5 '
on 19th J u n e and the Horsham
' 1 0 ' (10mi les p lus 10 p in ts of
K i n g and Barnes? ) on 17th
J u l y . Anyone in terested in
running, or just s o c i a l i s i n g
s i gn up on the C r o s s country
C l u b no t i ce board .
the temptat ion to bowl h im s e l f .
B r i x ton were bowled out in
e igh teen overs for only 38 runs
the h igh l igh t of wh ich was the
running out of the deputy
Governor by h i s 14 year o ld
s o n . It was a p leasan t if not
par t i cu la r l y tax ing a f ternoons
c r i c k e t .
Team:- T Ghosh, R Young, J
Thornback, C York, R Pashley,
N Kulakilaka, K Shire, Z
Golding, J Gowlett, P Allen,
M Throbb, Scorers:- L Throbb
and N Thornback.
The med ics found t h e m s e l v e s
fac ing severa l nasty r i s i n g
d e l i v e r i e s dur ing thei r i nn ings .
Two ear ly w i c k e t s by J e f f s
had the med ics reel l ing and IC
kept up the pressure for the
rest of the game.
F i v e w i c k e t s , two from
Cowan and three from Pember -
ton , brought IC w i t h i n s igh t of
v i c to ry . But desp i te heavy
pressure the last w i c k e t
remained intact . So IC 2nd ' s
once aga in fe l l v i c t i m to the i r
own paltry bat t ing .
Not rem
Merton T H E IC opening pair of' Tom
Ghosh and Rob Young roared
off w i th a f ine stand of 110
before Ghosh w a s caught for
69 . H i s partner went on to make
43 before he was d i s m i s s e d
and the remain ing batsmen
were then se t the task of
sco r ing some qu i ck runs. In
do ing th is many w i c k e t s were
g iven away and the las t IC
batsman was d i s m i s s e d soon
after tea wi th the tota l at 141 .
A t th is point a draw seemed
l i ke l y and th is was indeed
the f i na l resu l t . Three w i c k e t s
from D a v e B rame ly , two from
newcomer R i c h a r d P a s h l e y
and a run out ensured that
Merton were made to f ight but
at the c l o s e they were 113
for 6 . A draw.
Team:- T Ghosh, R Young, A
Pashey, N Kulakilaka, J
Grosberg, K de Silva, A Sheth,
J Gowlett, P Allen, D Bramely,
M. Throbb.
Cambridge
fall to Ghosh IN A LOW sco r ing match las t
weekend the Sunday XI beat
C h u r c h i l l C o l l e g e , Cambr idge .
IC were bowled out for 120,
no one batsman making any
s ign i f i can t i nn ings . C h u r c h i l l
were then d i s m i s s e d for 87
wi th Ghosh tak ing 4 for 26.
Annual Reviews Annual reviews of clubs and Copy should be submitted to
societies (especially sports the F E L I X Office as soon as
club) are Invited for publication possible and the length of the
in F E L I X . articles should be limited to
500 words.
Cross Country
Poor batting fails 2nd XI
•7 F Only:. M U X
Le 4 degre SEEING T H A T we haven't (as yet) been given any mock exams,
the Union has been asked to compile a paper to make sure that
no-one has the remotest chance of passing. The questions are
easy. It's the answers which are difficult. Answers must be
written on one side of a used postage stamp only. A l l answers
must be written in shorthand;
1. If you met Julia Ross at a Mines Disco, would you say:
a) " A h , be be, passez—moi les pommes de terre"
b) "What's a nice girl like you doing in a crummy place like
th is?"
c) "What's a crummy girl like you doing in a nice place like
th is?"
d) "Come up and see my testtubes."
2. What is la Marseillaise
a) Julia Ross
b) a Kind of French loaf
c) Snoopy in disguise
d) a hamster
3. Who is as loud as concorde and twice as fast?
a) Julia Ross
b) Elton John
c) Snoopy
4. Who is Julia Ross?
a) Elton John
b) Pre'sidente of la Re'publique
c) A k ind of F tench loaf
5. Give the English translation of " A h , be be, passez-moi
les pommes de terre."
a) Happy birthday
b) Everyone's a fluffy one
c) Snoopy rules ok
d) Quantus est conis in fenestra
6. Who said " A h , bebe, passez-moi les pommes de terre?"
a) Julia Ross
b) Jean-Paul Sartre
c) Snoopy
d) Asterix
7. Is "un mineur" someone less than 18 years old or someone
not belonging to RCS or Guilds?
a) Yes
b) Yes
8. WhenNapolean was exiled did he say " O h bloody 'e l l b a " .
IFU EXAMINING B O A R D
Graduate Unemployment With the employment prospects of graduates deteriorating,
especially in the case of teachers, the NUS is asking each of
its constituent organisation members to conduct a survey
amongst its own prospective graduates. IC Union has there
fore put out the form below and asks all prospective graduates
to complete and return the questionnaires to IC Union Office
as soon as possible.
Course:
Year:
Postgraduate / Undergraduate:
Please give estimate of number of jobs
you have applied for:
How many interviews:
How many rejections have you received:
Have you got a job for 1976/77? Y E S / NO (Please delete that which is not applicable)
If 'yes', do you regard this employment as
temporary: Y E S / NO
If 'no' do you see any reasonable hope of obtaining employment by September this year: Y E S / NO
Thank you for your co-operation. The results of this survey
will be used as evidence to the Minister of Education when
the Executive of the NUS meet him to discuss the problems
of graduate unemployment.
Please return to the Union Office.
Phil Neal of Liverpool in
action against IC on Wednesday
The England players arriving at the playing fields.