Chapter 11

Emotional and Social Development from One to Three

Temper Tantrum

FCS Standards and Learning Objectives Learning Objectives: Students will

understand general patterns of social and emotional development for the 1-3 year old. Students will also examine effective guidance techniques for the 1-3 year old.

FCS Standards: 4.B, 06-12.5.1, 5.A, 5.B, 5.C

Emotional Development

18 month old Self-centered: they think about their own needs and wants, not

those of others. Why? All of their needs have been met immediately during infancy, now

they have to adjust to a change.

Negativism: doing the opposite of what others want. Why? Wanting to be independent. Frustration. Realizing they are a separate person.

How to deal with negativism. Give choices. Keep it narrowed to 2. Redirect the child. Distract them from what is upsetting. Encourage talking.

Temper tantrums: a release of anger or frustration by screaming, crying, kicking, pounding, and sometimes holding their breath.

Emotional Development

2 years old Speech and motor skills have improved which

relieves some of the frustration.

Are able to understand more and can wait longer.

Express love and affection freely and seeks approval and praise.

Emotional outbursts are fewer and less intense.

Emotional Development

2 ½ years old Immaturity and a powerful need for independence clashes.

Children this age my feel overwhelmed by how much they are learning and what their bodies are able to do and not do.

They aren’t as easily distracted.

Moods can change rapidly.

Routines are important at this age.

This age requires patience and flexibility from the caregivers/parents.

Emotional Development

3 years old Become more willing to take direction from others.

Will modify behavior to win praise and affection.

Have fewer temper tantrums.

Less frustrated, as they are more physically capable.

They like to talk and are better able to express themselves this way.

Emotional Development

3 ½ years old

Fears become common-the dark, strangers, imaginary monsters, loud noises.

Tension may be released in a physical way-they may start thumb sucking or nail biting.

Try to feel more secure by controlling their own environment.

Differences Among Children in their Emotional Development

Even though children show similar patterns in their emotional development, each child is unique and develops in their own way.

These differences are a result of variations in experience and temperament.

It’s important for parents to adjust accordingly to these differences. Can each child in a family be parented the same way? Why or why not?

The Development of Self-Concept

Self-concept: how a person sees themselves.

Self-concept is developing at this age and parents and care-givers play an enormous role in how a child feels about themselves. They believe what you tell them.

It’s also important to allow them and encourage them to develop their skills, which leads to confidence and a positive self-concept.

Evaluating Emotional Adjustment

Signs of healthy emotional development can largely be determined by their relationship with their primary caregiver or parent.

Signs of positive emotional development. Seeks approval and praise. Turns to parents for comfort and help. Tells parents about significant events. Accepts limits and discipline without too much resistance.

Relationships with siblings is also a sign of emotional adjustment.

Activity…

Parenting Q & AWith a partner, you will be assigned a

question a parent has about their child.Take the role of an expert, and write a

response to their questions.Use pages 343-360.

General Social Patterns Socialization: The process of learning social skills in

order to get along with family members and others.

18 Months Closest relationships are still with the family, however its

important for children to have opportunities to interact with others outside the family.

Parallel Play: children play near, but not actually with, other children.

Conflicts may occur which can lead to hitting, biting, screaming, etc.

They can understand their actions toward others have consequences, but only those that happen immediately.

General Social Patterns 2 Years

Still engage in parallel play. Are beginning to understand how to share and take turns. Become good at interacting with others, especially their main

caregivers. Want to please others, especially an adult.

2 ½ Years Negativism affects their socialization. Begin to learn about the rights of others. Begin to understand fairness, but are most concerned about what

is fair to them. Parallel play still occurs and works best with only 2 children.

General Social Patterns 3 Years

Family is still important, but children of this age seek friends on their own.

Begin Cooperative Play: Children playing with one another. Can work together with a small group during play. Want to please, which leads to helping, sharing, doing things

another person’s way.

3 ½ Years Play becomes more complex-involves more conversation. Realize the importance of sharing-disagreements occur less often. Develop several strategies to resolve conflict. Increased ability to evaluate friendships. Compare themselves more to other children.

Making Friends

Contact with others, especially other children is important to a child’s social development. What do you think happens when most or all of a child’s

contact is with adults?

Difficulty making friends might need some adult intervention.

Adult intervention during conflict is not always necessary. If harm is being done, it’s important to intervene.

Imaginary Friends Can appear as early at age 2 Most common at ages 3-4. Can last for several months to a year.

Imaginary friends can be a helpful way for a child to experiment with different feelings. Might be a way for the child to work through negative feelings.

The child may talk to adults about how the imaginary friend feels about certain experiences.

Usually fade away. No reason for adults to be concerned, unless imaginary friends

continues into adolescence.

Guiding Children Guiding children doesn’t simply mean “making them

behave”.

It involves teaching them how to handle their own feelings, how to get along with others, achieving self-discipline, and promoting security and positive feelings about themselves.

Self-discipline: the ability of children to control their own behavior.

Guidance also helps a child develop morally. Children go from understanding right from wrong in terms of being

scolded to developing a conscience. As they get older they will use this in other situations.

Effective Guidance

12-15 months Distracting and physically removing them from a

forbidden activity works best.

15 months-2 years Spoken restrictions, along with distraction and

removal.

Effective Guidance

2-3 years Children are beginning to grasp reasoning. Explain reasons for not being able to do something,

instead of just using commands.

3 years Children are willing to please the caregiver. Praise

them for positive choices. Be consistent. Make clear rules and apply them the

same way to every situation.

Setting Limits Setting limits is a way to guide a child. Limits should be clear and spoken in a direct

and calm tone of voice. Includes 4 steps:

1. Show an understanding of the child’s desires. 2. Set the limit and explain it. 3. Acknowledge the child’s feelings. 4. Give alternatives.

Limits need to be consistently set and a parent should not give in when children want their own way.

Setting Limits

1. Show an understanding of the child’s desires. “I know you think it’s fun to draw on the wall.”

2. Set the limit and explain it. “But you may not draw on the wall because it’s hard to clean crayon marks

off the wall.”

3. Acknowledge the child’s feelings. “I know you like drawing on the wall, but walls are not for drawing.”

4. Give alternatives. “If you want to draw, you may draw on this paper, or you can play with your

blocks. Which would you like to do?”

Encouraging Independence Autonomy: independence.

Promoting autonomy Consider what a child can realistically do. Allow them to feed themselves. Allow them to dress themselves-pick clothing that is

easy to get on and off. Allow them to take care of their own hygiene. Provide

them with their own toothbrush, towel, comb, washcloth.

Allow them to start doing simple household chores. Be patient and let go of the fact that they may not do it

“perfectly”.

Promoting Sharing

Provide activities that require them to share. Ideas?

Limit materials available so they have to share.

Have them take turns handing out snacks.

Make it clear what you are encouraging-call it “sharing” or “taking turns”.

Possible Behavioral Problems There is usually a reason behind negative behavior.

Finding the reason is an important step in changing the behavior.

Biting Occurs at different ages and for different reasons, from teething to

wanting their way. It’s important for caregivers to step in and handle the situation.

Hitting Model using words instead of being physically aggressive. Understand that children hit because they have poor impulse

control, are self-centered, and haven’t developed appropriate ways to manage anger. This does not give them the excuse to hit, but helps the caregiver understand why they do it. Adult intervention is important when this behavior is occurring.