HUMAN RELATIONSHIPS

WHAT IS A RELATIONSHIP? INVOLVING STRONG AND FREQUENT INTERDEPENDENCE (THOUGHTS, EMOTIONS AND BEHAVIORS THAT INFLUENCE OTHERS) IN MANY DOMAINS OF LIFE

 The condition or fact of being related; connection or association. Connection by blood or marriage; kinship. A particular type of connection existing between people related to or having dealings with each other. (siblings, classmates, peer groups)A romantic or sexual involvement.

IS A RELATIONSHIP A NEED OR A WANT?

According to Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, relationships are necessary to have a fulfilled life.

RELATIONSHIPS NOT ONLY HELP OUR EMOTIONAL WELL-BEING, BUT OUR HEALTH IS IMPACTED AS WELL Married people report being happier and

healthier than those who are single (Steinhauser 1995)

Compared to those in troubled marriages, those that are happily married have immune systems that ward off infections more effectively (Kiecolt 1987)

Steven Cole (2007) found that chronic loneliness increased gene activity linked to inflammation, and reduced gene activity associated with antibody production and antiviral responses.

WHAT IMPACTS ATTRACTIONProximity: Geographic nearness

Greater availability to meet, familiarity

MERE EXPOSURE EFFECT: The phenomenon that repeated exposure to novel stimuli increase liking of them.

Studies have shown that we are more attracted to things/people that have seen more than once.

WHAT IMPACTS ATTRACTIONPhysical attractiveness:

APPEARANCE plays a major role…unfortunately as humans we are superficial! Predicts frequency of dating, feelings of

popularity, and initial impressions of their personality.

Attractive people are PERCIEVED to be healthier, happier, more sensitive, more successful, and more socially skilled, however not more honest or compassionate. (Eagly & others, 1991)

WHAT IMPACTS ATTRACTIONSimilarity: Humans tend to have

healthier relationships with those that are similar (have similar interests, personalities, etc.) Friends and couples are far more likely to share

common attitudes, beliefs and interests. (Rosenbaum, 1986)

In “real life” opposites retract NOT attract.

WHAT PURPOSE DOES ATTRACTION SERVE? Evolutionary theories argue that the purpose of

attraction is for procreation (biological level of analysis)

The extent to which one perceives another person to be similar to themselves then the likelihood of that person finding that person attractive is higher. (cognitive level of analysis)

People that tend to live closer to each other tend to have the same social and cultural norms and they also tend to share the same ways of contacting and interacting with one another. (sociocultural level of analysis)

LOVE…WHAT IS IT AND DOES IT HAVE A PURPOSE? A deep, tender, ineffable feeling of affection

and solicitude toward a person, such as that arising from kinship, recognition of attractive qualities, or a sense of underlying oneness.

A feeling of intense desire and attraction toward a person with whom one is disposed to make a pair; the emotion of sex and romance.

A person who is the object of deep or intense affection or attraction; beloved. Often used as a term of endearment

PASSIONATE LOVE VS. COMPANIONATE LOVE

(BERSCHEID AND HATFIELD, 1972)

Complete absorption in another that includes sexual feelings and intense emotion.

Gradually replaced by companionate love.

Women tend to be more statisfied with their marriage when they feel sparks of passionate love, males are not affected (Aron and Hankemyer, 1995)

Warm, trusting, tolerant affection for another whose life is deeply intertwined with one’s own life.

Passionate Love Companionate Love

TRIANGULAR THEORY OF LOVE(ROBERT STERNBERG, 1988)

Passion, intimacy, and commitment work together

ORIGINS OF ATTRACTION: BIOLOGICAL LOA

Obsession: Not being able to turn off their thoughts about the one they love/admire.Biochemical “cocktail” of a human’s

romantic passion can be blamed on a combination of dopamine, serotonin, and adrenaline.

Romantic love is NOT an emotion but rather a motivation system (need or craving) that our brain has been hardwired due to years of evolution in order to mate. (Fischer)

SEROTONIN…HOW DOES IT IMPACT LOVE? Helps focus on the one you love In 1999, Marazitti et al. conducted a study

that looked at the serotonin level of 20 people that have fallen in love within the past 6 months and 20 people with untreated OCD, and 20 normal individuals who were not in love (control group) and compared their serotonin level in blood samples…

RESULTS: The low serotonin levels in the blood of those fallen in love in 6 months and those with OCD were equivalent.

SO WHAT? IT’S THE BRAIN THAT MATTERS! In 2004, Fischer argued that until

research on serotonin levels are measured in specific parts of the brain then there is not any proof that serotonin impacts romantic love.

ADRENALINE...HEART IS RACING!Stress hormone Fischer (2004) argues that when you are

around that “special someone” and you have an increased level in adrenaline it can contribute to those “butterflies in your stomach” feelings of… Sweaty palms Heart racing Mouth going dry High energy Less need for sleep and food And focused attention on that “loved one”

“A BEAUTIFUL PICTURE OF THE BRAIN IN LOVE”

In 2003, Fischer investigated the blood flow in the brain by using fMRI brain scans of people in love. 20 people were shown a picture of their beloved for 30

seconds and then their brain was scanned. They were then given a distracting task followed by viewing

another photo of a neutral person, once again their brain was scanned. Each part repeated 6 times.

RESULTS: The blood flow in the brain’s reward system (activated by a pleasant stimulus) during the beloved picture was more intense than during the neutral pictures.

http://www.ted.com/talks/helen_fisher_studies_the_brain_in_love.html

ROLE OF HORMONES IN BONDING

Moving from passionate love to intimate love…attachment is formed.Feelings of comfort, security, and

relatedness In 1969, Bowlby argued that our ability to

create attachments is an innate quality; specific behaviors and physiological responses are attachment behaviors.

Hormones involved in attachment:1.) Oxytocin2.) Vasopressin

OXYTOCIN VERY powerful Hormone released during

sex and touching; helps deepen and intensify feelings of attachment.

It is also released during childbirth, thus forming close attachments with the mother and infant. Lab rats that had their oxytocin blocked/inhibited

rejected their young and did not demonstrate nurturing behaviors.

VASOPRESSIN Another sex released hormone that is

important for long-term commitment. In a study that increased the level of

vasopressin in prairie voles, these animals formed stronger bonds and had more sex (other than for reproduction) just like humans.

When vasopressin was inhibited, the males lost devotion to their mate and did not protect them from potential mates. Evidence that vasopressin plays an important

role in attachment and mating behavior.

JEALOUSLY…IT PLAYS AN IMPORTANT ROLE TOOBUSS (1996) ARGUES THAT JEALOUSY IS BIOLOGICALLY

BASED AND THAT HUMAN SEXUAL BEHAVIOR IS GROUNDED IN THE NEED TO OPTIMIZE THE POTENTIAL REPRODUCTION.

Estrogen levels are low

Women are more SEXUALLY jealous

Fears the male will seek out other females to mate with since she is unable to have intercourse.

Estrogen levels are relatively high

Women are more EMOTIONALLY jealous

Since impregnating is possible, she fears the male will develop an emotional attachment to another female, thus hindering the security of the potential child.

During menstruation During ovulation

PHYSICAL ATTRACTIVENESS & HORMONES

Buss (1993) found that in areas of the world where levels of pathogen stress is high, then that importance of physical attractiveness was rated more important as opposed to areas in the world with lower levels of pathogen stress.

Schackerlford and Watson (1987) concluded that men were found less attractive when their facial features were not symmetrical and they had more symptoms of depression and more physical problems (colds, headaches, gastrointestinal)

Lower levels of androgen during puberty, stunted the development of prominent cheekbones and masculine chins which are viewed as facial features that are physically attractive.

ORIGINS OF ATTRACTION: COGNITIVE LOA

Similarity is the key factor in the cognitive level of analysis for arguing why individuals are attracted to each other. Couples tend to be similar in:

Age Religion Social class Cultural background Personality Education Intelligence Physical attractiveness Attitudes

STUDIES TO SUPPORT THE COGNITIVE LOA

Bryne (1971) believes that other people’s support for one’s own views and attitudes boosts the self-esteem and therefore is rewarding and reassuring.

In 2007, Morry coined the idea of the attraction-similarity model which ties into an individuals perceptions or relationships; people tend to see friends and partners similar to themselves so attraction predicts perceptions of similarity. (similar physical features causes us to perceive that an individual is similar to us in beliefs about relationships.)

ANOTHER STUDY… Markey et al. conducted a study using questionnaires to

gather information about psychological characteristics such as values and attitudes of their ideal romantic partner.

They were then asked to describe themselvesRESULTS: The way they describe themselves and the things they

looked for in their dream partner were extremely similar. Follow-up study: 212 married/committed people filled

out a questionnaire about their own psychological characteristics and then about their partner’s and the results were the same as the pervious study (similar beliefs and values for both partners.)

Confirms that people want partners similar to themselves!

RECIPROCITY…HOW DOES IT IMPACT RELATIONSHIPS? Reciprocity happens when you like those

who show interest in you. This increases self-enhancement (making a

partner feel good about oneself) People seek feedback that mirrors and

supports their self-concepts…this process is known as self-verification

With Romantic Relationships, people view their partner more favorable than the partner views him/herself however when the views are matched/equal, the relationship will progress (Markey et. Al, 2007).

ORIGINS OF ATTRACTION: SOCIOCULTURL LOA

Interaction with others lead to liking: Comparing our feelings and reactions to

others help us better understand ourselves. Provides us with connectedness and

attachment. Basic human need

Familiarity is more likeable than the unfamiliar. 1971: Zajonc et al.

Participants evealuated photos of strangers and the photos that were shown repeatedly were rated more positively….Mere exposure effect gives us a sense of trust.

CULTURAL NORMS: FORMING AND MAINTAINING RELATIONSHIPS

Moghaddam (1993): Believed that much research on cultural norms is a reflection of US culture and more cross-cultural research must be conducted.

According to Goodwin (1995), passionate love is largely a western society idea. Love is seen as the result of a loving relationship. In societies with arranged marriages, love and

marriage is reversed; marriage, then love. 1992: Gupta & Singh: Couples in India that

married for love had their feelings of love diminish after 5 years, but those that had arranged marriages had higher levels of love.

MORE PROOF THAT WESTERN-CULTURES “HAVE IT ALL WRONG.” 1986: Simmons et al: Compared to Japanese

culture, romantic love is valued more in the US and Germany. Romantic love is valued less in cultures with

strong extended family bonds. Dion & Dion (1993) In traditional societies is

viewed more than just a union of two people but rather a union of two families; Americans view marriage as lifetime companionship between two people IN LOVE; Other cultures view marriage as a partnership created to have children and provide social and economic support.

BACK TO BUSS… 1995, Levine et al. Individualistic countries

rate love as a key factor for the establishment of marriage and the lack of love warrants the decision to end a marriage.

1994 (Buss): 10,000 participants from 37 cultures All 37 cultures, men preferred younger mates,

women preferred older. 23 cultures men felt chastity (virginity) was more

important than women did. Buss concluded that mate selection preferences

is universal which is derived from evolutionary selection and pressure on males and females.

THE ROLE OF COMMUNICATION: ATTRIBUTION THEORY: HOW WE TRY TO UNDERSTAND PEOPLE AND MAKE SENSE OF THEIR BEHAVIOR

Blaming the situation Analyzing the person’s

action with regards to the situation he/she is in

Culture & environment Ex: Late work/missing

assignments= genuine issue such as a family/personal issue

Blaming the person A person’s behavior is

influenced by internal characteristics

Personality, beliefs, attitude

Ex: Late work/missing assignments= Lazy & irresponsible and never finishes work on time

Situational Dispositional

HOW DOES THIS IMPACT RELATIONSHIPS?

Attributions are positively based:

Positive behaviors are viewed as

DISPOSITIONAL & negative behaviors

are seen as SITUATIONAL.

Attributions are negatively based:

Negative behaviors are viewed as

DISPOSITONAL & positive behaviors are

viewed as SITUATIONAL.

Leads to phrases such as, “You always…” and “You never…”

Happy Relationships

Unhealthy Relationships

WHAT CAUSES A RELATIONSHIP TO END?

Bradbury & Fincham (1990): Poor marital quality in a couple = dispositional attributions

to negative behaviors & situational attributions to positive behaviors.

1992: Attributions a married couple make, correlates to their behavior towards each other. Wives that linked dispositional attributions about their husbands

in negative situations behave negatively towards their husband Opposite held true for in wives who made dispositional

attributions about their husband in positive situations. Unhappy couples have neg. attributions and behave neg.

towards each other

Quality of relationship leads to negative communication?

Attributional style leads to the end of a

relationship?

MARITAL SATISFACTION Bradbury & Fincham (1992): Type of attibutions made by the couple in the

beginning of the study helped predict marital satisfaction at the end of the study (12- month longitudinal study)

LEVEL of satisfaction at the beginning of the study did NOT predict what kinds of attributions the couple made at the end of the study.

Possible indication: Kinds of attribution which influence the behavior of couples rather than the other way around. Falls in line with the theory of idealization and

positive illusions of the partner

NEGATIVE FEELINGS/COMMUNICATION =PROBLEMS

In 2003, Flora & Segrin found that negative feelings of women towards their partner predicted marital problems and for men, when their partners expressed negative feelings that leads to problems.Attributions that partners make about

each other correlate to the levels of satisfaction with the relationship as well as their behavior towards each other.