HUMILITYRULES

J.AUGUSTINEWETTA,O.S.B.MonkofSaintLouisAbbey

HUMILITYRULES

SaintBenedict'sTwelve-StepGuidetoGenuine

Self-Esteem

IGNATIUSPRESSSANFRANCISCO

Scripture quotations are from Revised Standard Version of the Bible—Second Catholic Edition(IgnatiusEdition)Copyright©2006NationalCounciloftheChurchesofChristintheUnitedStatesofAmerica.Usedbypermission.Allrightsreservedworldwide.

Coverart:SaintBenedictwithSkateboard

byJeanC.Wetta

CoverdesignbyAugustineWetta,O.S.B.

©2017byIgnatiusPress,SanFranciscoAllrightsreserved

ISBN978-1-62164-149-0(PB)ISBN978-1-68149-787-7(EB)

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Formygodmother,TinaStretch

IseethebeautyofYourgrace;Icontemplateitsradiance,andIreflectitslight.Iamcaughtupinitsunspeakablesplendor.IamdrawnoutsideofmyselfasIthinkofmyself.WhatIam,whatIhavebecome—Owhatwonder!Myeyesareopen,forinmyownpresence,Ifeelsuchesteem,reverence,evenfear,asthoughIwereactuallystandingbeforeYou.Iambewildered,overwhelmedbythisfear.Idonotknowwhethertositorstand,whattodowiththesearmsandlegsthatareYours,forwhatworks,whatdeedsIshouldusethem,thesewondrousdivinemarvels.Grantmetospeak,andalsotodowhatIsay,OmyMaker,myCreator,myGod!

—SaintSymeontheNewTheologianHymns2,19–27

CONTENTS

Introduction

SaintBenedict'sLadderofHumility

Step1:FearofGod

Step2:Self-Denial

Step3:Obedience

Step4:Perseverance

Step5:Repentance

Step6:Serenity

Step7:Self-Abasement

Step8:Prudence

Step9:Silence

Step10:Dignity

Step11:Discretion

Step12:Reverence

Conclusion

Acknowledgments

IllustrationSources

Notes

INTRODUCTION

Myfriend(we’llcallhimEgbert1sothatyoudon’tconfusehimwithanyreallivingperson)suffersfromprofoundinsecurity.Heisafraidthathedoesn’tlovehimselfenough.Heisafraidthatpeopledon’ttakehimseriouslyandthatheisoftenoverlookedbecauseheisnotassertive.Egbertworriesabouthisbodyandfearsthatpeoplearejudginghim.Heisstressedout,bummedout,overworked,underappreciated,andanxious.Inshort,hesuffersfromsomethingthatweoftenlabel“lowself-esteem”.Iwould like tohelpEgbert, but it’s hard toknowwhere to turn for advice.

Andtheworldisfullofbadadvice.Ifmyfriendasksaround,he’slikelytohearalotofclichéslikethese:“Betruetoyourself”,“Followyourdreams”,“Learntoloveyourselffirst”,and“Youcandoanythingsolongasyouputyourmindtoit.”TheseplatitudesmightmakeEgbertfeelbetterforatime,butintheend,Ifeartheywillonlyresultinemptynarcissismanddespair.Now it happens that there is a little-known but highly effective twelve-step

self-help program that folks all over theworld havebeenusing formore thanfifteenhundredyears.Youwon’thearaboutitonlate-nightinfomercialsorreadabout it in Vogue or Men’s Health because it’s not about beating thecompetition,getting richquick,making friends, enhancingyour sexappeal, orinfluencing people. And it doesn’t havemany boisterous proponents, becausethose who have mastered this program tend to be content just as they are.Nonetheless,thosepeoplearehappytosharewhattheyknowifyouask.Theprogram is called “TheLadderofHumility” and it comes froma short

bookbySaintBenedictcalledsimplyTheRule.Beforewegetstarted,however,there are surely some questions you will want answered. No one in his rightmindisgoingtotakeadvicefromacompletestrangeronanissuesoimportantand so personal as self-esteem. So allow me to introduce my friend, SaintBenedict.Also,I’ll introducemyselfandtrytoexplainwhyBenedict’sLadderofHumilityisworthyourtime.

WhoWasSaintBenedict?

Rightaroundthebeginningofthesixthcentury,therelivedateenagerwhowasboredwith school.Hewas at the topofhis class.His fatherwaswealthy andinfluential. This was a smart, charismatic kid, and he seemed destined forgreatness.Buthehatedschool.Itwasn’tthathehadanythingagainstlearning;hejustfeltlikehewaswasting

his time.Hewastrainingtogointopolitics,but theworldseemedtobegoingdownthetubes.Thereweregangsofkidsarmedtotheteethinthestreet;therewere endless, bloody wars being fought all over the world; and there was asudden influx of terrible diseases for which there were no cures. There werescandalsinpoliticsandscandalsintheChurch.Inshort,theworldwasamess.Sohe ranaway.Buthedidn’t join thecircusor findhis fortune inTheBig

City.Instead,hewenttoliveinacaveonthesideofamountain.There,withoutallthedistractionsoffamilyandschoolworkandsociallife,hefiguredhecouldfocusexclusivelyonholiness.HewasthinkingspecificallyofChrist’swords:“Ifyouwouldbeperfect,go,sellwhatyoupossessand...followme”(Mt19:21).Hewantedtotakethosewordsliterally.Saint Benedict spent the next three years just praying. Ironically, all this

prayingmadehimfamous.Peoplestarted tocome tohimforadvice.Thenextthingheknew,therewerehundredsofguyslivinginthesamemountains,tryingtodothesamething.Folkseveninventedanameforthem:themonakhoi—the“lonelymen”—or,inmodernEnglish,“monks”.Buteachmonkseemedtohavehisownwayofdoingthings,withtheresultthattherewasawholelotofchaosandnotalotofprayergoingon.SoabunchofthemgottogetherandcametoBenedictasagroup.“Teachushowtoberealmonks,”theysaid.

SoSaintBenedictwroteahandbook.Itwaschockfullofgreatadvice,fromwhoshouldapologizeafteranargument, tohowmanytimesadayyoushouldpray,towhatyououghttodowitholdunderwear,andwhetheryoushouldsleepwhile wearing a knife. It was so useful, in fact, that within a hundred years,virtuallyeverymonasteryinEuropeadoptedit.WeknowittodayasTheRuleofSaintBenedict,anditisusedbymonasteriesallovertheworld,fromSaintLouisAbbeyinMissouritoNdandaAbbeyinTanzaniatoTupazyAbbeyinParaguayto Saint Willibrord’s Abbey in the Netherlands. In all, there are more thantwelvehundredmonasteriesand twenty-five thousandBenedictinesworldwide.I’moneofthem.

WhoIsAugustineWetta?

Iknewamonkwhousedtosay,“Enoughofmetalkingaboutme.Whatdoyouthinkofme?”Forgoodreason,monks tend tobe reluctant tosound theirownpraises. The core of monastic spirituality is humility, and humility is hard tosquarewithautobiography.Still, ifyouaregoingtospendtimereadingwhatIhavetosay,IcanunderstandwhyyoumightwanttoknowathingortwoaboutwhereIcomefrom.Sohereismystory:I grew up on an island in the Gulf of Mexico. My family belonged to a

wonderfulparishwithabrilliant andenergeticpastornamedPaulChovanec. Idecided I wanted to grow up and be just like him. But around thirteen, Idiscoveredgirlsandchangedmymind.Alsoaboutthattime,mymotherinsistedonsendingmetoTheaterCamp,whichwaswhereIlearnedtobeanerd—oratanyrateperfectedmynaturaltalent.Jugglingcaughtmyimaginationandturnedouttobeaneasywaytoearnaquickbuck.Twoyearslater,Istartedabusinesswithmybestfriend.Wecalledourselves“TheFlyingFettuccineBrothers”.For$75 an hour, we hired ourselves out as performers at birthday parties, grandopenings,streetfestivals—younameit.Wedidthewholething:bowlingballs,clubs,torches,machetes,unicycles...

Atsixteen,IdecidedIdidn’twanttobeanerdanymoreandlearnedtosurf.

Thewholedirectionofmylifechanged.IstilljuggledwheneverIneededcash,andIthinkmypeersgenerallyagreedthatIwasstillanerd,butmylifebegantorevolvearoundthewater.Ijoinedtheswimteam,triedoutfortheBeachPatrol,andbeganaslightlymoreseriousphaseofmylife.OntheBeachPatrolIcamefacetofacewithdeath—andmorethanonce.I was a good student and attended Rice University, where I majored in

classics. I joined the rugby team and broke a bunch of bones. I also spent asemester overseas in Rome, where I studied archaeology and learned Italian.ThereIencounteredmyfirstBenedictinemonastery.Themonksturnedouttobesurprisinglyinterestingpeople,andIkeptintouchwithseveralofthem.WhenImoved to Saint Louis to go to graduate school, they told me there was amonasterynearby. Idropped in foravisitand fell in lovewith theplace.Onething led to another. I decided to spend a summer with the monks. Then IdecidedtoleavegraduateschoolandjoinSaintLouisAbbeyinstead.Therestishistory,astheysay.Iwenttoseminary,earnedafewmoredegrees

(two in theology at Oxford, one in English at Middlebury College), and was

ordained.NowIspendmylifedoingwhattheabbottellsme.IteachhighschoolEnglish,classics,andtheology.Icoachrugby,helptrainnewmonks,andwritebookslikethisone.Butmostofall,Itrytobeholy.Whichbringsustohumility.

WhyHumility?

Everything Saint Benedict has to say flies in the face of contemporary popculture.Heisnotfocusedonself-love,self-praise,self-aggrandizement,orself-promotion—not focusedon the self at all,butonhow to relate tooneanotherandtoGodinlightofourstrengthsandweaknesses.Butsuchclarityofvisionbeginstodeveloponlywhenyoutakethefocusoffyourselfanddevoteyourselfbodyandsoultoahigherpurpose.AccordingtoSaintBenedict,“Thebodyandsoulare like twosidesofa ladder intowhichGodhasbuiltvarioussteps.Theladderbecomesyourlife,andasyourheartishumbled,sotheLordwillliftyouuptoHeaven”(Rule,chap.7).Genuine self-esteem is a formofholiness, andholiness, inSaintBenedict’s

eyes, is not about self-love but self-abandonment. In fact, the whole idea ofholdingyourselfinhighesteemwouldsoundridiculoustohim.Itwoulddefeattheverypurposeof theChristian life,which is toemptyone’s self inorder tomakeroomforGod’sgrace.InthewordsofSaintPaul,God’spoweris“madeperfect inweakness” (2Cor 12:9).And again, in thewords of Saint John theBaptist,“Hemustincrease,butImustdecrease”(Jn3:30).To discover God’s power in our lives, we need to climb the Ladder of

Humility.IntheseventhchapterofhisRule,whichistitled“OnHumility”,SaintBenedict outlines the twelve rungs of this ladder. They are fear ofGod, self-

denial,obedience,perseverance,repentance,serenity,self-abasement,prudence,silence,dignity,discretion,andreverence.Eachofthefollowingchaptersofthisbookexplainsarung,orastep,onthe

ladderandbeginswithaquotefrom“OnHumility”.Eachchapteristhenbrokendown into sections, with more quotes from the Rule along the way and ahomeworkassignment.Butdon’tworry,theassignmentisgradedonlyonhowhelpfulitistoyou,forlearninghowtoleanonGodmoreasyouknowyourselfbetter.

ANoteontheTranslation

WhereverIquoteSaintBenedict’sRule,whichIdoaftereachheading,IusetheclassicBonifaceVerheyen translation.But I’vemade some changes to it. TheRuleisreallyold,andifyouarenotfamiliarwiththelanguageandthehistorybehind it, you can easily lose yourself in the verbiage. Somy goal here is tomakeSaintBenedict’shandbookabitmoreaccessible—andperhapsalittlelessmedieval. I’ve modernized the language and left out the cumbersome andconfusing bits. If you want to read the whole Rule beginning to end, Irecommend the famous 1980 version translated and edited by Timothy Fry,TimothyHorner,andImogeneBaker.

SAINTBENEDICT’SLADDEROFHUMILITY

Step1:Beafraid

FEAROFGOD

Always have the fear of God before your eyes (Ps 36:2) and avoid allthoughtlessness so that you are constantly mindful of everything God hascommanded.

Step2:Don’tbetruetoyourself

SELF-DENIAL

Donotbeinlovewithyourownwill,butputintopracticethatwordoftheLordwhichsays:“Ihavecomedownfromheavennottodomyownwillbutthewillofhimwhosentme”(Jn6:38).

Step3:Don’tfollowyourdreams

OBEDIENCE

For the love ofGod, be obedient to those in authority over you, imitating theLord,ofwhomtheapostlesays:Hebecame“obedientuntodeath”(Phil2:8).

Step4:Sufferfoolsgladly

PERSEVERANCE

Bepatient in suffering, evenwhen you encounter difficulties and injustice, forScripturesays:“Hewhoendurestotheendwillbesaved”(Mt10:22).

Step5:Putyourworstfootforward

REPENTANCE

Neverhideanyof the evil thoughtswhicharise in yourheart or the evils youcommitinsecret.Instead,revealthemtosomeoneyoutrust.ForScripturesays:“CommityourwaytotheLord;trustinhim”(Ps37:5).

Step6:Besomeone’sdoormat

SERENITY

Whenilltreatmentcomesyourway,trytoacceptit.Learntobecontentwiththelowliestandworstofeverything,andinallthatisdemandedofyou.

Step7:Haveapoorself-image

SELF-ABASEMENT

Believe in your heart that you are an unworthy servant of God, humblingyourselfandsayingwith theProphet:“Iamaworm,andnoman;scornedbymen,anddespisedbythepeople”(Ps22:6).

Step8:Thinkinsidethebox

PRUDENCE

Onlydowhatislawful,andfollowtheexampleofyourelders.

Step9:Don’tspeakup

SILENCE

Onlyspeakwhenyouarespokento,forScripturesays,“Whenwordsaremany,transgressionisnotlacking”(Prov10:19).

Step10:Laughterisnotthebestmedicine

DIGNITY

Donotbetooquicktolaugh,foritiswritten:“Afoolraiseshisvoicewhenhelaughs”(Sir21:20).

Step11:Beunassertive

DISCRETION

If youmust speak, do so gently, humbly, earnestly, and quietly, with few andsensiblewords;foritiswritten:“Thewisemanisknownbythefewnessofhiswords.”

Step12:Keepyourchindown

REVERENCE

Wherever you go, bow your head in prayer, remembering the words of thepublican:“God,bemercifultomeasinner!”(Lk18:13).

STEPONEFEAROFGOD

Always have the fear of God before your eyes (Ps 36:2) and avoid allthoughtlessness so that youare constantlymindful of everythingGodhascommanded.

Youcan’thaveself-esteemwithoutself-respect.Andbecauseyouaremade intheimageandlikenessofGod(Gen1:27), thatmeansyoubeginbyrespectingGod. Now when the Bible talks about respecting God, the term it uses istheosebeia—literally,“god-fearing”.

FEAROFGODINTHOUGHT

AmonkshouldconstantlykeepinmindthatallwhodespiseGodwillburninHell for their sins,and that eternal life isprepared for thosewho fearHim.

—Chapter7:Humility

Yikes.Isthisreallywherewearegoingtostart?Tobesure,Hellisn’tthemostpleasantorupliftingtopic,butasastartingpoint,youcoulddoworse.Afterall,ifyouarenotentirelysurewhereyouareheaded,itcanhelptoknowwhatyouwant to avoid. What’s more, Benedict’s dreadful warning can serve as anantidotetothatspiritualapathysocommonamongthewealthyandcomfortable(andbythatImeanfolkslikeyouandme).Sure,wesaythatGodisjustandall-powerfulandomniscientandallthat,butlatelyitseemswe’vebeguntothinkofGodnotsomuchasaHeavenlyFatherbutmoreasaheavenlygrandfather—akindly, but somewhat senile old dudewhodoesn’t really carewhat the youngfolkareuptosolongasnoonegetshurt.Andevenifsomeonedoesgethurt,He’snotlikelytothinkaboutitorevenrememberitlater.1

ThesternPantocratortheyusedtopaintontheceilingsofancientcathedrals—Jesus,theJudgeofNations,LordofLords,KingofKingsenthronedovertheearth—weseemtohaveforgottenHimtoo.Weliveinmorecivilizedtimes.Weprefer now to think of Jesus as more of a facilitator, or a group therapist,perhaps.Butlet’snotforgetthatHeistheLordwhositsattherighthandofGodtheFather—whowillrulewith“arodofiron”and“treadoutthewinepressofthefuryofthewrathofGodthealmighty”(Rev19:15).I’mnot suggesting that it is good to beafraid ofGod—as thoughHewere

sittingupthereinHeavenitchingtohitthe“smite”buttononHiscomputer.Butthen again, ifGod is truly good, thenHemust be truly just.Moreover, if ouractions in this world are to have any real significance, they must have realconsequencesintheworldtocome.Soyes,it’sbettertoloveGod;butwhenyouarenotfeelingthelove,atleasttrytofeelthefear.AstheBookofProverbstellsus,“ThefearoftheLORDisthebeginningofwisdom”(9:10).It’snottheideal,butit’sastart.

HOMEWORK:Sparethelifeofabug.Bonuspointsifit’samosquito.

FEAROFGODINWORD

Giveupyourownwill,andtakeupthestrongandmostexcellentweaponsofobediencetodobattleforChristtheLord,thetrueKing.

—Prologue

I was visiting a church not long ago when I noticed a boy in line forCommunionwearingaT-shirtthatread,“Jesusismyhomeboy.”2IguessIcansee how that might help to break down some barriers when it comes torediscovering one’s dignity as a brother ofChrist; but remember that Jesus isalso ourKing. If youdon’t findHis divine power a little intimidating, there’sprobablysomethingwrongwithyou.Afterall,themostbasichumanresponsetoGodisfear.RememberwhatPetersaidwhenhefirstmetJesus?“Departfromme,forIamasinfulman,OLord”(Lk5:8).WhenIfirstenteredthenovitiatehereatSaintLouisAbbey,mynovicemaster

askedme,“Whatdoyouhavetoofferthatwouldmakeuswanttotakeyou?”ItoldhimIwassmart,hard-working,andclean.Hesaid,“You’renotready.”

Everydayhewouldaskmethesamequestion,andeveryday,Iwouldthink

ofsomeotheradmirablequality.Everyday,hewouldtellmeIwasn’tready.Finally,afteroneparticularlyroughmorning,ItoldhimIhadnothingtooffer.“Nowyouareready,”hesaid.Weshouldn’tbeinthehabitofthinkingthatJesuswouldbegratefulforour

friendship.WeshouldloveHim,butweshouldalsobeinaweofHim.HisverynamehasallthepoweroftheHolyWordrevealedtoMosesonMountSinai—awordsosacredthatpiousJewsdonotdaretospeakitaloud.Andofcourse,weshouldneverusethatnameasacurse.Don’tgetmewrong,ourultimateobjectiveistodiscovertheperfectlovethat

“castsoutfear”(1Jn4:18);butbecarefulthatyoudon’twindupslidingintoacomfortablefamiliaritythatdrivesoutrespect.AsBlessedJohnHenryNewmansaid,“Fearand lovemustgo together;alwaysfear,always love, toyourdyingday.”3

HOMEWORK:Letsomeonelesscompetentthanyoutellyouwhattodo.

FEAROFGODINDEED

Sinceidlenessistheenemyofthesoul,thebrethrenshouldbeemployedinmanual labor at certain times. At other times, they should read spiritualbooks.

—Chapter48:WorkandPrayer

In his lyrical meditation on the nature of work, rock legend Todd Rundgrenfamously sang, “Idon’twannawork. I justwannabangon thedrumallday.”Theironyunderlyinghislyricswasthatinavoidingwork,Rundgrenwoundupdoingmoreworkthanhewouldataregularjob.4Andsoheprovideduswithareflectiononthenatureoflaboritself.Adam’sworkintheGardenofEdenwasthrilling,painless,andendlesslyfruitful,butbecauseofhisdisobedience,hewascondemnedtoearnhisbreadbythesweatofhisbrow(Gen3:19).Here’sthecatchthough:Jesusworked(seeMk6:3);sowork,whichwasonce

apunishment,hasbecomeforallofusasacreddutyandaredemptiveact.Byvirtueof thishumblework,wenotonlybringourselves intocloserconformitywith Christ, but actually help bring creation itself to perfection.We completeGod’swork!

Therefore,yourwork—whether it is a chorearound thehouse, ahomework

assignment,asportspractice,orajobwithanofficeandapaycheck—isn’tjustameanstoaneconomicend.Noris itsomethingyouneedto“getoverwith”intimefortheweekend.Itisanessentialpartofyoursanctification,ashareinthedivinebrotherhoodofChrist,andameansofdiscoveringyourtrueself.Sothenexttimeyouareinclinedtogrumbleabouthowmuchworkyouhavetodo,trytorememberthateventhisisanhonorbecauseithasbeenredeemedbyJesus.IfitwasgoodenoughforHim,itshouldbegoodenoughforyou.Inthewordsofthe prophetAzariah, “Take courage!Donot let your hands beweak, for yourworkshallberewarded”(2Chron15:7).

HOMEWORK:Secretlydosomeoneelse’schores.

STEPTWOSELF-DENIAL

Donotbeinlovewithyourownwill,butputintopracticethatwordoftheLordwhichsays:“Ihavecomedown fromheavennot todomyownwillbutthewillofhimwhosentme”(Jn6:38).

What feels best for youmay not be best for the people around you. For thatmatter, itmay not be good for you either. Someonewith genuine self-esteemunderstandsthatself-fulfillmentisnotaboutself-satisfaction.Thusheiswillingto deny his own desires for the sake of the future, for the sake of the peoplearoundhim,andforthesakeofhisimmortalsoul.

SELF-DENIALINTHOUGHT

Sarabites1aretheabsoluteworstkindofmonks.Livingwithoutashepherd,they invent theirownmonastery,which isn’teven in theLord’s sheepfoldbutintheirown.Thegratificationoftheirdesiresistheirlawbecausewhattheyliketheycallholy,butwhattheyhappentodisliketheycallunlawful.

—Chapter1:TheDifferentKindsofMonks

BrotherAidan,oneoftheyoungmonksofmymonastery,tellsthesamejokeatthestartofeveryLent:“ThisLent,I’mgoingtodolotsoffasting,butonlywhenI’mnothungry.”Hispoint,Ithink,isthatallofuslovetheruleswhentheyareeasy to follow, but make excuses as soon as they become difficult. SaintBenedict doesn’t have much patience for this kind of behavior. He utterlydespisesthedo-it-yourselferswhomakeuptheirownrulesastheygo—orworseyet, followonly the rules that coincidewithwhat theyarealreadydoing.AndJesuswasn’tpatientwithphonieseither.Hereservedhisveryharshestinsultsforthe scribes and the Pharisees.He called themhypocrites, blind guides, vipers,andwhitewashedtombs.

Notlongago,oneofmystudentsraisedhishandanddeclaredpoint-blankthat

therewasnosuchthingassin.Ithinkhewastryingtogetariseoutofme,butbeforeIcouldanswer, thekidinfrontofhimturnedaroundandsaid,“SoyouaresmarterthanJesus?”Icouldn’thaveputitbettermyself.Unlessyouaretrulyconvincedthatyouareholierandwiserandsmarterthanthecombinedresourcesof the entireChurch, youmight aswell concede that your pastor speakswithmoreauthoritythanyoudo.Inclassafewdayslater,thesameboyraisedhishand.WhenIcalledonhim,

heturnedaroundtotherestofthegroupandsaid,“Iseewhatyouguysdoontheweekends.You’renobetter thananyoneelse.At least I’mtrue tomyself.”There’s a part of me that has to admire a kid like this. He certainly had thecourageofhisconvictions,andIcongratulatedhimforthat.2Theproblemwasthathedidn’tactuallyknowwhathisconvictionswere.Afterall,anyonecanbetrue tohimself. Ifyouwant todo something reallycourageousandadmirable,trybeingtruetosomeonebetterthanyourself—like,say,Jesus.

HOMEWORK: Skip the next episode of your favorite television show. (You canmakeituplaterifyoumust.)

SELF-DENIALINWORD

Ifanoldermanaskstobereceivedintothemonastery,don’tbetooquicktoaccepthim;ifhepersistsinhisrequest,lethimknowthathemustkeepthewholedisciplineoftheRule,andthatnothingwillberelaxedinhisfavor.

—Chapter60:OlderMenWhoAsktoJointheCommunity

Why didGodmake you?Godmade you to knowHim, to loveHim, and toserveHiminthisworld,andtobehappywithHimforeverinHeaven.Whateveryour job is,whateveryourgiftsare,nomatterwhereyoucomefromorwhereyouthinkyouareheaded,thisisthepurposeofyourexistence,andanythingelseyoudoisjusticingonthecake.Youmaybeacop,adoctor,atennispro,oratelemarketer,butyourultimatepurposeonthisearthisthesame.Benedict makes this clear from the start, especially when an older fellow

decidestojointhemonastery—amanwhohasperhapsgrownaccustomedtoacertainlevelofprestigeandautonomy.Hemayhavehadadistinguishedcareer,hemayhaveattainedpowerandinfluenceintheworld,butoncehesetsfootinthemonastery,he’sjustanothermonk.Withinthesewalls,“allareoneinChristJesus”(Gal3:28).Anythinghedoesfromnowonmustbeaccompaniedbythedeepest detachment, and only with the permission of the abbot.We can takefromthisanessential lessonabout life:ourdignityashumanpersonsdoesnotrelyonourwords, talents,achievements,or testscores.Itdoesn’tevendependonourvirtue.

Every evening after dinner, themonks of Saint Louis Abbey assemble in thecalefactory (monkish for “living room”) for about half an hour to hang outtogetherasafamily.BeforeIenteredthemonastery,Itriedmyhandatstand-upcomedy,andIguessIstillhaveabitoftheentertainerinmebecauseafteroneofthese nightly get-togethers, the abbot took me aside and said, “BrotherAugustine,youhaveashiningstarofapersonality.Butsometimes,lesserstarsneedtohaveachancetoshineaswell.”It’sthenicestwayI’veeverbeentoldtoshutup.The fact is we are all stars. We are all infinitely valuable because we are

children of God (Gal 3:26). When we learn to acknowledge that dignity inourselves,wewon’tfeellikeweneedtoproveittoothers.

HOMEWORK:Letsomeonetellyouastoryyouhavealreadyheard.

SELF-DENIALINDEED

Eachmonkshouldsleepfullyclothedsothathewillbereadytoriseinthemorningassoonasthebellrings.However,heshouldnotwearhisknifetobedorhemightrolloverandstabhimselfinhissleep.Moreover,theoldermonksshouldhavetheirroomsnearthoseof theyoungerones.Thustheymaygentlyencourageoneanotheronthewaytomorningprayer,becausesleepymonksliketomakeexcuses.

—Chapter20:HowtheMonksShouldSleep

I amproud to say that theBenedictinesare theonly religiousorder thathasastipulation in their rule regarding how they should handle theirweapons (thisgoesbackto theMiddleAges,whenprettymucheverybodycarriedaknife). Inevergettiredofquotingthispassage,thoughI’vehadfewoccasionstoobeyit.I’veneverbeenatriskofstabbingmyselfinmysleep.Ontheotherhand,Idohavesometroublewakingupinthemorning.Myfirst

tenyearsinthemonastery,IusedtorolloutofbedontothefloorwhenIheardthebell.Ithurt,butitwastheonlywayIcouldkeepfromfallingasleepagain.Andtobehonest,eventhisstrategywasn’tentirelysuccessful.Iremembermynovicemastersayingtome,“Brother,amonkwhosleepsthroughhisprayersislikeasoldierwhosleepsthroughhiswatch.”Thatmaysounddramatic,butthedangerisreal.Wemustbevigilant,for“thedevilprowlsaroundlikearoaringlion, seeking someone to devour” (1 Pet 5:8). With such an enemy nearby,Christiansmustbereadytoriseatamoment’snoticetodospiritualcombat.And“theweaponsofourwarfarearenotworldlybuthavedivinepower todestroystrongholds”(2Cor10:4).

Moreover, it is the job of the elders to keep the young ones from getting

rowdy,becauseif theyareupallnightmessingaround, theywillbeverylittleuse at prayer the next morning. I am convinced, in fact, that fifty percent ofholinessissimplygettingtobedontime.Nomatterwhatsortofsoldieryouare,it’seasiertokeepwatchwhenyouarewellrested.

HOMEWORK:Make sure the last thing you read tonight before going to bed is

Scripture.

STEPTHREEOBEDIENCE

For the loveofGod,beobedient to those inauthorityoveryou, imitatingthe Lord, of whom the apostle says: He became “obedient unto death”(Phil2:8).

Everyone has dreams, and if all of us followed all of them, the world wouldcollapse into chaos and ruination.Some folks havedreams that are unhealthy,self-defeating, reckless, stupid, or just plain evil. So how do we knowwhichdreams to follow? We seek the advice of someone older and wiser thanourselves.G.K.Chestertononcesaid,“Wedonotreallywantareligionthatisrightwhereweareright.Whatwewantisareligionthatisrightwherewearewrong.”1Obedienceiswhatsavesusfromfollowingthewrongdreams.

OBEDIENCEINTHOUGHT

Whenamonk is told todosomething,hewill instantlyquithisownworkand, leavingunfinishedwhateverhewasdoing, set aboutwhathe is toldwiththereadystepofobedience.

—Chapter5:UnhesitatingObedience

N oone likes tobe toldwhat todo, and thesedaysmore so than in thepast,people like todo theirownthing.“Idid itmyyywaaaay,”sangFrankSinatra.Unfortunately, when you insist on doing everything your way, what usuallyhappens is that you repeat someone else’s mistakes. Every angst-riddenadolescentintheworldrebelsagainsthisparents.Ifyouwanttobeunique,tryobeyingthem.2Betteryet,tryfollowingtheWayandnotjustyourway.Again,thisrequiresahealthysenseofyourlimitations.Youhavetobehumbleenoughtoadmitthereissomeoneintheworldsmarterthanyourself.

Thepurestandmostgraciousexampleofobedience isJesus’mother.Whenshe said that earth-shattering Yes to God’s angel, she couldn’t possibly haveknownhowgloriouslyherownstorywouldend—orhowmuchpainshewouldhavetoenduregettingthere.Infact,asbiblicalscholarsarequicktopointout,shehadeveryreasontobelievethatherlifewouldbeshortandtragic.YetsherespondedtoGod’scallwithheroicobedience.InhisgreatcommentaryontheRule,DomPaulDelattecallsthis“supernaturaldocility”.“Docile”,however,isnotanadjectiveIwouldeasilyoraccuratelyascribeto

myself—ortomanyofthepeopleIlike.Tothemodernear,itsoundsanythingbutheroic.CanyouimagineanyonedescribingBatmanas“docile”?Or,JamesBond? Or, Superman? Yet, in the presence of God’s will, what are thealternatives?Sooften,we findourselves saying, “If IonlyknewGod’swill, Iwould do it.” Well, sure. Who wouldn’t? The point is to accept God’s willwithoutknowingit—tosignourlivesontoablankcheck.ThatiswhatismeantbyChristianobedience,anditistheonlylegitimatesourceofself-confidence.

HOMEWORK:Thenexttimeyouseesomethingnotdoneyourway,leaveitbeifitworks.

OBEDIENCEINWORD

Ifthemonkshavebeenworkinginthefieldsoriftheheatofthesummerisgreat, lunchmayhave tobemovedearlier.Theabbotshouldarrange forthissothatwhateverthebrethrendo, theymaydoitwithouthavinggoodreasontocomplain.

—Chapter41:MealTimesBenedictiswillingtoshortenthemorningfastbecausehedoesn’twanttogivehismonks“goodreason”tocomplain.Andfood

isoneofthosethingsthatpeopletendtocomplainabout.OntheirwayoutofEgypt,theIsraelitescomplainedaboutnothavingenoughtoeat(Ex16:3);andwhentheLordsentthemmannaandquail,theycomplainedthattherewasn’t

enoughtodrink(Ex17:2).WheneverIreadthatpassagefromExodus,IenvisionGoddoingafacepalmofcosmicproportionsandgroaning,“Areyou

serious?AfterallI’vedoneforyou,youarecomplainingaboutthefood?”Yet, it is hard to be holy, to stay on course,when one is hungry. If you’re

fasting,that’sonething;ifyousimplydon’thaveenoughtoeat,oryou’vebeenchokingdown thesamegruel fordaysonend, thingsare likely togosouth inyourspirituallife.

Nevertheless,thehallmarkofareallystrongsoulistheabilitytobejoyfulevenwhen the going gets tough, because a good reason doesn’t make grumbling,whichisaformofingratitude,lesswicked.Onemightevenarguethatgrumblingforgoodreasonisworsethangrumbling

forabadreasonpreciselybecausethereisabasisforit.Justifiablegrumblingismorelikelytospread,lesslikelytostop,andfarmorelikelytohurtsomeone’sfeelings. How often have you heard someone preface an unkind remark withsomethinglikethefollowing:“I’mnotsayinganythingIwouldn’ttellhimtohisface”?Listen,pal, justbecauseyouwouldsay it tohis facedoesn’tmeanyoushould say it behind his back.3 Better, then, to abstain from all grumbling—justified andunjustified—and topraywith thepsalmist, “Set aguardovermymouth,OLORD,keepwatchoverthedoorofmylips!”(Ps141:3)

HOMEWORK:Atdinnertonight,serveyourselfthecrunchyheelofthebread,theblackestbanana,thesmallestpieceofpizza,orwhateverlooksleastappetizingonthetable.

OBEDIENCEINDEED

The brethren must be obedient not only to the abbot, but also to oneanother,knowingthatthispathofobedienceishowtheywillreachGod.

—Chapter71:MutualObedience

Monksaren’t justobedient to theirabbot, theyareobedient tooneanotheraswell—andinparticulartotheirelders.Thisgoeswaybeyonddoingwhatthey’retoldandrequiresenormousamountsofpatience.A fewyears ago, Iwas asked topreachatmybest friend’swedding. I find

preaching to strangers fairly easy, because they don’t knowmy past. But it’shard to think of anything serious to tell my friends. I did, therefore, what IalwaysdowhenI’mrunninglowonwisdom:IwentlookingforFatherLuke.Heis the founder of our community, and he has seen pretty much everything amonk can see. I found him asleep in a chair in the calefactory. “Wake up,Father,”Isaid,“Ineedsomethingwisetosayatmybuddy’swedding.”FatherLukeopenedhiseyes,lookedaroundtheroomforamoment,thensaid,

“Tellhimthattherewillcomeadaywhenhewillwantthewindowopenandshewillwantthewindowclosed.”Thenhewentbacktosleep.

Whenitcomestolivingwithsomeone,everythingboilsdowntoforgiveness.

“Loveispatientandkind....Lovebearsallthings,believesallthings,hopesallthings,andenduresallthings”(1Cor13:4,7;emphasisadded).Sotrueloveismoreaboutendurancethanitisaboutchocolatesandteddybears.Weproveourloveatpreciselythosemomentswhenthepeoplewelovetestourpatience,putastrainonourkindness,and temptus toanger.Love is truly love—andnot justinfatuation—whenitprovesitselfinthecrucibleofsuffering.

HOMEWORK:Thenexttimesomeonetreatsyouunfairly(cutsinline,playsloudmusic, eats somethingwithyournameon it in the fridge . . . smile and thankGodforhim.

STEPFOURPERSEVERANCE

Bepatientinsuffering,evenwhenyouencounterdifficultiesandinjustice,forScripturesays:“Hewhoendurestotheendwillbesaved”(Mt10:22).

In thewordsofMotherTeresa,“Goddoesnotrequire thatwebesuccessful—onlythatwebefaithful.”Fidelityinthemidstoffailureiscalledperseverance.

PERSEVERANCEINTHOUGHT

Amonkshoulddesireeternallifewithallspirituallongingandkeepthedayofhisdeathalwaysbeforehiseyes.

—Chapter4:TheToolsofGoodWorks

D o you knowwhymonkswear black? To remind us of our death. Kind ofmorbid,eh?Ormaybenot.Ifthere’soneremedyforgrumpiness,it’sthissimplefact:youcouldbedead.ThechiefmarkoftheChristian,wroteSaintBasil“istowatchdailyandhourlyandtostandpreparedinthatstateoftotalresponsivenesspleasing toGod,knowing that theLordwill comeat anhour thathedoesnotexpect.”1ThisvigilanceisthemarkofaChristian.Andyet,I’llbetthatveryfewofus,whenwewokeupthismorning,seriouslyconsideredthepossibility thattheworldmightendtoday.Now it happens that a few summers ago, I did come face-to-face with the

realityofmyowndeath.IspendafewweekseverysummerinOceanCounty,NewJersey,wheremyparents live, and I found tomydelight that the surf atSeasideHeightswasreallyup.Ialsofound(tomydistress)thatafourteen-footgreatwhitesharkhadbeenfrequentingmyfavoritespot.

Iwentsurfinganyway,becausewhenyou’veonlygotthreeweekstocatcha

year’sworth of surf, you just have to takewhat you are given. Iwasn’t theremore than fiveminuteswhen Iheard someoneon thebeachyelling thewordsthat every surfer hopes hewill never hear: “Shark!”When I lookedup, I sawabouttenyardstomyleftagreatgreyfinglidingtowardmethroughthewater.2Laughing, crying, screaming hysterically, I paddled as fast as I could for theshore.ObviouslyImadeitbackinonepiece.ButIhadtwogreatmomentsofclarity

duringthatshort,franticsprinttothebeach:First,Ilearnedthatyoucan’tpaddleasurfboardwithoutputtingyourhandsinthewater;second,Irealizedthatwhiletheworldasawholemaynotendanytimesoon,myownparticularworldcouldendatanymoment.Ialsosawthatmanyofthethingsthatworryanddistractmeaboutthispresentlifeareofnoconsequenceinthenext.Thekeytoperseveranceiskeepingyoureyesonthegoal.ForeveryChristian,

thatgoal lies justbeyondthegatesofdeath.Ourtruecitizenshipis intheonlyplacewherewewilltrulyfeelathome:Heaven(Phil3:20).

HOMEWORK:Spendanentiredaywithoutcorrectinganyone.

PERSEVERANCEINWORD

Aboveall,thereshouldbenogrumbling—notinword,notbygesture,notfor any reason whatsoever. If anyone is caught grumbling, he should beseverelydisciplined.

—Chapter34:HowEachMonkShouldBeTreated

Sometimes,when I’mgivinga tourofourmonastery, I’llput thisquestion totheguests:“WhatdoyouthinkistheonethingSaintBenedictabsolutelyforbidshismonks todo?”Iusuallyhearanswers like“Kill somebody”or“Steal fromthechurch”or“Runoffwithawoman.”Butthosethingsdon’tfrightenBenedictthewaygrumblingdoes.Nothing will take the wind out of your sails like grumbling. This is Saint

Benedict’s pet peeve, and he mentions it eight times in the Rule. Twice, hebegins with the emphatic ante omnia—“above all else”. The Rule is a shortdocument, and Benedict rarely repeats himself, so you know that stoppingcomplainingbeforeithasachancetostartmustbeimportanttohim.

If you think about it, an outright fight is easier on a community than that

ceaseless,cowardly,whininggossip thatcomesfromagrumblerwho“spreadsstrife” and “separates close friends” (Prov 16:28). Unlike direct disobedience,grumblingmakeseveryonerestlessandangry—includingthegrumblerhimself.“Theylearntobeidlers,gaddingaboutfromhousetohouse,andnotonlyidlersbutgossipsandbusybodies,sayingwhattheyshouldnot”(1Tim5:13).Theworstpartis,there’snoeasywaytostopthosewhogrumbleandgossip.

Ifsomeonehasaproblemwithyou,wouldn’tyoupreferthathecomerightoutandtellyou?Butwhensomeonegoeswhisperingbehindyourback,there’snoway to defend yourself without looking equally obnoxious. Saint JohnChrysostomwrote,“Itisbettertodonothingthantodoitwithmurmuring,foreven the very thing itself is spoilt. . . . For murmuring is intolerable, mostintolerable; it borders upon blasphemy. . . . It is a proof of ingratitude; the

murmurerisungratefultoGod.”3Ifyouwanttobeholy,happy,andhumble,avoidgrumblingaboveallelse.

HOMEWORK:Keepyournextopiniontoyourself.

PERSEVERANCEINDEED

The stability of our community is the workshop where we practice thespiritualartrelentlesslydayandnight.

—Chapter4:TheToolsofGoodWorks

The last time I visited my parents at the Jersey shore, I went on a sort ofpilgrimage. I use the term “pilgrimage” in the loosest possible Webster’sDictionarysenseof“ajourneytoaplaceassociatedwithsomethingorsomeonewellknown”.Itwasn’tbyanystretchoftheimaginationareligiouspilgrimage,but itwas something I had beenmeaning to do for years.Myparents live nomorethanafewminutesfromwhereapopularrealityshowwasfilmed,4andIdecidedthatitwasaterribleshametolivesoclosetosomethingsofamousandnotknowanythingaboutit.SoIwenttoseeit.Ididn’tlastlong.Theboardwalkwas,asIexpected,packedwithteenagers.Attheriskoffulfillingallthestereotypesoftheangry,uptightoldpreacher,I

havetosayIwasshocked.Imean,Igrewuponabeach.Ilivedwitheightrugbyplayers in college. I was expecting noise and rowdiness and mischief andrebellion.One ofmy roommates in college had a poster that said, “If it’s tooloud,youaretooold.”Iwasexpectingvolume.

WhatIwasn’texpectingwastheemptiness.Thesekidslookedsovacant,so

used. They were tattooed and pierced and tanned to the point of exhaustion.Theyseemedstupefiedbyexcess.Andthatwasn’ttheworstofit.Thethingthatreally saddened me was their innocence. As a teacher, I’ve grown acutelysensitive to that certain way a kid looks when he knows he’smisbehaving. Iknowthatguiltylook.Thesekidsdidn’tlooklikethat.Theydidn’tlookguilty.They just looked tired.And itwas thismore than anything that convincedmethattheytrulydidnotknowanybetter.Thatwasthesaddestpartofthewholeexperience: thesudden realization thatnoonehadever suggested to them thattheremightbeanalternative.Yourjobistobethatalternative.Youmustgooutandbeawitnessofpeace

andstabilitytoaculturethathaslostitsbalance—toshowothershowtofillthatemptiness.Andyoucan’tdothisbyshoutingatthem.Thatwilljustaddtothenoise.You need only tobe there, as “children ofGodwithout blemish in themidstofacrookedandperversegeneration”(Phil2:15),livingwitnessestothepowerofquietperseverance.

HOMEWORK:Smileatsomeonewhodoesn’tlooklikethey’regoingtosmileback.

STEPFIVEREPENTANCE

Neverhideanyof theevil thoughtswhicharise inyourheartor theevilsyou commit in secret. Instead, reveal them to someone you trust. ForScripturesays:“CommityourwaytotheLord;trustinhim”(Ps37:5).

Perseveranceisvaluableonlyifyouaredoingsomethinggood.Otherwise,whatyouneedisrepentance,becauseifwhatyouaredoingisbadorstupid,youneedtobewillingtoquit—oratleasttoaskforhelp.

REPENTANCEINTHOUGHT

Themonk should confess his sins toGod daily in prayer with sighs andtears, and resolve to amend them for the future. Later, he should revealthosethoughtstoaspiritualfather.

—Chapter4:TheToolsofGoodWorks

Benedictwantshismonks to feel truly sorry for their sins,buthealsoknowsfrom experience that human beings have a tendency to go to extremes. In thespirituallife,thiscanbeespeciallydangerousbecausesomuchmoreisatstake,andif thedevilcan’tgetustodothewrongthing,he’ll trytogetustodotherightthinginthewrongway.“Thereisawaywhichseemsrighttoaman,”saystheBookofProverbs,“butitsendisthewaytodeath”(14:12).Thisiswhythe“spiritualfather”issoimportant.Hecanhelpputthingsinperspective.ThedayIenteredSaintLouisAbbeyasapostulant,IsworetomyselfthatI

would never again have a lustful thought. That resolution lasted all of fifteenminutes, so I decided to postpone it untilmynovitiate.When that time came,however, I found that Iwas still botheredby the same lustful thoughts.WhilereadingabiographyofSaintBenedict, I learnedthatwhenhewas tempted,hethrewhimselfintoarosebush;soIsaidtomyself,ifSaintBenedictcandoit,socanI.Iwentoutintothegardenbehindthemonasteryandjumpedrightin.

Unfortunately, I had failed to take into account three important differences

betweenSaintBenedict andme:First, SaintBenedict jumped into awild rosebush,whichhasconsiderablysmallerthornsthanthecultivatedvariety;second,SaintBenedictwasnakedwhenhedidit,sohedidn’tgethisclothestangledup;andthird,SaintBenedictwasasaint.Rollingaroundinarosebushmightbeagoodthingforasainttodo,butfortherestofus,it’skindofdumb.Igotstuckinthatrosebushandspentaveryuncomfortablehourandahalftryingtogetout—then another awkward twentyminutes or so explainingmyself to themonkwhofoundmethere.Itmaybeworthaddingthat,thoughstupid,therosebushdidwork.Practically

speaking,therewasnowayIcouldgiveintotemptationwhileIwasstuckinthegarden.ButifIthrewmyselfintoarosebusheverytimeIwastempted,Imightaswellbecomethegardener.Problemis,Iwouldmakealousygardener.Oncethemonkfinishedlaughing,hesuggestedthat,inthefuture,Iwoulddo

welltocheckwiththeabbotbeforeattemptinganyfurtherfeatsofasceticism.Ofcourse,Iignoredthatadviceandwoundupgivingmyselfulcersbyfastingtoomuch.Butthat’sanotherstory.

HOMEWORK: Take the blame for something you didn’t do. (There will be anopportunity.)

REPENTANCEINWORD

Ifanyonemakesaseriousmistakeormisbehavesinsomeotherway,lethimtellaspiritualfatherwhoknowshowtohealhisownwounds,andnotmakepublicthefaultsofothers.

—Chapter46:HowtoFail

Inmymonastery,wesharealaundryroom.Wehaveanironthateveryoneuses.Ofcourse,wearealwaysbreakingitandbuyingreplacements.Butonetime,Ipickeditupanditfelltopiecesinmyhands—thehandlefelloff,thewiresfellout,andthewaterinthesteamcompartmentpouredoutonthefloor.Apparently,thelastmonktouseithadbrokenit,butinsteadofowningup,hehadpiecedthedarn iron back together and left it balanced on the ironing board for the nextpersontobreak.Ispenttherestofthedayangry.1

Whether it’s abroken ironor abrokenpromise, all sinhas aneffecton thebroadercommunity—evenprivatesin,because,astheysay,nomanisanisland.ThewholeworldshiftsslightlyclosertothevoideverytimeweactcontrarytoGod’swill.Ouractionshaverealconsequences.“Fornothingishiddenthatshallnotbemademanifest,noranythingsecretthatshallnotbeknownandcometolight”(Lk8:17).Different religions call this by different names: “karma”, “tao”, “the law of

consequences”...Evensciencehasanameforit—Newton’sThirdLaw:“Foreveryaction, there isanequalandopposite reaction.”So insteadof letting theworldfalltopieces,setitrightagainbyrepentingofyoursins.Afterall,muchmoreisonthelinethanyourownsoul.Granted,apologizingtoGodisalittlemorecomplicatedthanapologizingto

anotherperson,becausewehavesucha tendency todeceiveourselves.This iswhySaintBenedictinsiststhatweconfessoursinsaloudtoanotherperson.HegetsthisstraightfromScripture,ofcourse.“Confessyoursinstooneanother,”wrote Saint James, “and pray for one another, that you may be healed. Theprayerofarighteousmanhasgreatpowerinitseffects”(Jas5:16).Admittedly,this is a lot toask, andyouhave to findavery trustworthyperson;but ifyouwanttohaveanaccurate,honestsenseofyourself,thenconfessionisnecessary.Whetheritisabigsinoralittlesin,theimportantthingisthatyoucomerightoutandtalkaboutit,becausethere’snothingworseforaspiritualwoundthantocover it up. “Sunlight,” wrote Louis Brandeis, “is said to be the best ofdisinfectants.”2

HOMEWORK:Fixsomethingyoudidn’tbreakorcleansomethingyoudidn’tdirty.

REPENTANCEINDEED

If a brother notices that oneof his elders is angry, let himwithout delaycasthimselfdownonthegroundathisfeetandbegforablessing.

—Chapter71:MutualObedience

A real Christian community needs all of its members to look out for oneanother.Therefore,themomentamonksensesthathehasdonetheopposite—inspired some anger or anxiety in his brother—he stops what he’s doing andfixesit.Hereagain,SaintBenedictdemands instantandunhesitatingaction.Agood

monkwill try tomakehumilityhis specialvirtue, so that there isno roomforexcusesor finger-pointing.Hedoesn’t stop to askhimself if he’s really in thewrong. The moment he perceives that his actions have caused a problem, hethrows himself on the floor and begs a blessing. Notice that, technicallyspeaking,he isn’taskingfor forgiveness,at leastnotat first. Itmaybe thathewasn’tatfault,soinsteadofaskingforgiveness,heasksforafavor.Andnoticethathegetsdownonthefloortodoit.Thephysicalpartisessential,andpartlybecauseit’ssoeasytodo.Hedoesn’thavetoputonasadfaceortrytolooklikehemeansit.Bymakinghimselfphysicallysmallerthanhisbrother,herestoressomeofthedignityhetookawaywhenheprovokedhim.Andhecandoallthiswhileheisstillhoppingmad.

Again,hedoesn’twaittofigureoutwhetherhefeelssorry.“Donotletthesun

godownonyouranger,”writesSaintPaul(Eph4:26).Sothemonkdoesn’twaittodecidewhetherheisreallyatfault.HejustdoeswhattheRuletellshim.Thismay sound insincere, but think about it: If people apologized only on thoseoccasions when they knew they were wrong, apologies would be very rareindeed.Afterall,whoevergetsinanargumentknowingthattheyaremistaken?Neverwaterdownanapologywithanexcuse.Ifyou’vedonewrong,ownup

to it. In fact, even if you haven’t done wrong, find a way to make amends.Throwyourselfonthefloorandbegforablessing.Thenletthewholethinggo.

HOMEWORK:Makenoexcusesthenexttimeyouarereprimanded.

STEPSIXSERENITY

When ill treatment comes yourway, try to accept it. Learn to be contentwith the low liestandworstofeverything,and inall that isdemandedofyou.

If you are upsetwhen someone insults you, don’t put the blameon him.Youwereapileofdryleaves;hewasjust thebreezethatblewyouover.1Granted,youdonothavetobeeveryone’sdoormat,butrememberwhenyouareinsultedthattosomeextent,youprobablyhaditcoming.What’smore,everyinsultisanopportunitytopracticetheartofserenity.

SERENITYINTHOUGHT

The abbot must never be excitable, anxious, obstinate, jealous, orsuspicious.Suchapersonisneveratrest.

—Chapter64:HowtoElectanAbbotMyfirstencounterwithmonasticserenityoccurredduringmynovitiate.SaintLouisislocatedattheintersection

ofthreerivers,anditispronetoviolentstorms.Thelocalscallthem“gullywashers”.Fantasticflashesoflightningaccompanyear-splittingburstsof

thunder,andthewindripstreesrightoutoftheground.Theraincomesdownsohard,itleavesbruises.Onespringafternoon,inthemiddleofoneofthese

storms,theelectricitywentoutinthemonasteryandmynovice-masterwasstuckintheelevatorforthreeandahalfhours.

Forthreeandahalfhours,hesatinthepitchdarkwaitingforthecommunitytonoticehewasmissing.Andwhenwedid,heemergedfromtheelevator. . .beaming.Nooneevenknewhewas in therebecausehenevercalled forhelp.WhenIaskedhimwhyhewasn’tupset,heseemedsurprisedthatIshouldevenask.

“Upset?”hesaid.“Ijustgottospendthreehoursinapitch-darkelevator.”As

ifthatexplainedit.WhenIpressedhimfurther,hecontinued,“Therewasnowheretogo.Nothing

to lookator listen to.Nodistractions. Itwasperfect.Howoftendoyougetachancelikethattoworkonyourprayer?”I remember thinking tomyself at the time that therewas some sort of real

power at work in that monk—a capacity for joy even under the most tryingconditions—andthatifIcouldlearntolivelikehim,Icouldbeahappyman.Whenonelearnstobecontentwiththelowliestandworstofeverything—not

just resigned, but content—then there is never awastedmoment. There is nosuch thingasadull, futile,oruselessexperience.Everysorrow loses its sting,becauseeverythingisanopportunitytoglorifyGod.SaintPaulwrote,“Forthe

sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships,persecutions, and calamities; for when I am weak, then I am strong” (2 Cor12:10). Once you have learned to find contentment in adversity, all of lifebecomeschargedwithlightandhopeandjoy.

HOMEWORK:Laughwithsomeonewholaughsatyou.

SERENITYINWORD

No community is without friction. Therefore the morning and eveningprayers should never end without the Our Father. The superior himselfshouldsayit infrontofeveryonesothat thebrethrenwillberemindedoftheirpromisewhentheysay“Forgiveusasweforgiveothers.”

—Chapter13:WeekdayPrayers

You can’t be serene and resentful at the same time. The two are absolutelyincompatible.IfatrueChristianisinsultedorscorned,hesaystohimself,“Well,I’msureIhaditcoming.NowhowcanIhelpfixthis?”Notlongago,Iwasworkinginthelibrarywhentwoofthenoviceswalkedin

laughing and talking. I snapped at them. Immediately, they both went silent.Thenoneofthemwhispered,“I’msosorry,Brother.Youmusthavehadahardday.”What serenity he had! Instead of focusing on his own hurt feelings, heimmediatelyturnedhisattentiontomeandmysuffering.

But not all of us are quite so disposed to serenity as that novice, so Saint

BenedictinsistsonsayingtheOurFatheratthebeginningandattheendoftheday,becausewhenyou’vegotthismanyguyslivingtogether, there’sboundtobesomedisagreements—evenveryseriousones.Weneed,therefore,toremindourselvestoforgiveoneanotherbeforethedayevenstarts.Thenweneedtodoitagainattheendofthedaytobesurewe’veliveduptothatpromise.Thisisaneasymonkishpractice for anyone toadopt, and Ihighly recommend it.At theendof theday, takean inventoryofall thepeoplewhohaveangeredyou,and

forgivethem.Sayitoutloud.Thenyoucangotobed.Mindyou,forgivenessdoesn’tmeanhidingyourangerorcoveringitupwith

pleasantfeelings.Forgivenessisanactofthewill,sowhetheryoufeellikeitornot, you have in fact forgiven your enemies themoment you askGod for thestrengthtodoso.Thefeelingswillfollowlater,andsowilltheserenity.

HOMEWORK:Deliberatelywalk(ordrive)behindsomeoneslow.

SERENITYINDEED

Amonkshouldnotchaseafterpleasures.

—Chapter4:TheToolsofGoodWorks

So what’s wrong with pleasures?Why not chase after them? Does Benedictwanthismonkstobemiserable?It may sound like that at first, but the longer you live by Saint Benedict’s

advice, themore sense itmakes.When you take pleasure in something (food,music,art, sport, film . . .), theexperience isagreeablebut temporary.There’snothingwrongwithseekingoutsuchexperiences.Infact,theBiblerecommendsit:“Icommendenjoyment,formanhasnogoodthingunderthesunbut toeatanddrinkandenjoyhimself.”(Eccl8:15).Soclearlythere’snothingwrongwithhaving fun. But take note of that crucial stipulation, “under the sun”.Presumably,therearethingsevenmoreworthyofseekingbeyondthesun—likeHeaven,virtue,truth,andaboveall,God.Whenwestarttochaseafterpleasures,weconfuseourprioritiesandbecome“loversofpleasure rather than loversofGod”(2Tim3:4).

ThinkforamomentoftherichyoungmanwhomJesustriedtorecruitinthe

Gospel of Mark. He went away sad, Mark tells us, because he had manypossessions (10:22). The guy in that story refused a direct request from JesusHimselfsimplybecausehewastoopreoccupiedwithhisstuff.ThestudentsatmyschooloftenaskmewhyIquitbeingabeach lifeguard.

Wasn’t thatmore fun thanbeing amonk?Well, yes, in some respects.But indefenseofmydecision,Icansaythis:There’snothingmoredepressingthanaforty-year-old lifeguard. Everyone comes to a point in his life when he mustchoosebetweenfunandjoy.Andtochoosetheformeroverthelatterleadstoawholelotofemptiness.Thesedecisionsaren’talwayslife-changing,buttheydohave a cumulative effect; and they are often very difficult because joy takeswork.Ironically,therichyoungmanwentawaysadbecausehethrewinhislotwithfun.Whenitcomestothebiggerlifedecisions,wemusthavethewisdomtochoosejoy,nomatterhowfunthealternative.

HOMEWORK:Give up thirtyminutes of television or video games, and read theBibleinstead.

STEPSEVENSELF-ABASEMENT

Believe inyourheart thatyouareanunworthyservantofGod,humblingyourselfandsayingwiththeProphet:“Iamaworm,andnoman;scornedbymen,anddespisedbythepeople”(Ps22:6).

Everyhumanbeingisinfinitelylovedandinfinitelyprecious.Wehaven’tearnedthatdivinedignity;itisagift.Nonetheless,weconvinceourselvesthatwemustsomehow show ourselves worthy of God’s love—that if we are charming orcharitableorbraveenough,Hewillfeelobligedtorewardus.Self-abasementistheantidotetothisdelusion.ItisthepracticeofremindingourselvesthatwearenothingwithoutGod’sgraceandwillneverearnit.Ironically,thishealthysenseofnothingness,understoodcorrectly,bringswithitadeepersenseofconfidenceand freedom.As Janice Joplin said, “Freedom’s just anotherword for nothinglefttolose.”

SELF-ABASEMENTINTHOUGHT

Assoonasevilthoughtscomeintoyourheart,dashthemagainstChrist.

—Chapter4:TheToolsofGoodWorks

Nottobeconfusedwithself-loathingorself-hatred(forwhowoulddarehateanyofGod’screations),genuineself-abasementrepresentsanadvancedstageofspiritual development. In a chapter entitled “Self-Abasement in the Sight ofGod”,ThomasàKempissummeditupthisway:“Lefttomyself,Iamnothingbuttotalweakness.ButifYoulookuponmeforaninstant,Iamatoncemadestrong and filledwith new joy.”1 Thomas àKempis can feel secure preciselybecause theburdenof resisting sindoesnot restonhimalone.Heknows thatwhen temptation comes, he has only to dash that sin against theRockwho isJesusChrist.2

At times, you may become discouraged when you pray because your sinsseemtojumpoutatyou.Youmayactuallyfeelworsethanever.Butdon’t letthatgetyoudown.It’sactuallyasignofprogressbecausethecloseryoudrawtothe perfect holiness of God, the more your own imperfections will stand outagainst the pure light ofHis holiness. It’s like standing next to a sky-scraper:Thecloseryoustand,thesmalleryoufeel.Thisexplainswhyreallyholypeopleareoftenthelastonestoadmitit,becausetheholiertheyget,thelessholytheyfeel(soI’veheard).Trueself-esteem,therefore,isalwaysaccompaniedbyself-abasementbecause

knowingyour limits is socrucial toknowingyourself.Goethe—who, I shouldadd,would be distressed to hear hiswords used in this context by aCatholicmonk—wrote:“Thediscerningmanwhoacknowledgeshislimitationsisnotfaroffperfection.”3Thetruthis thatweareallsickwithsinandJesusis theonlycure.

HOMEWORK:ThankGodforsomethingyouarenotgoodat.

SELF-ABASEMENTINWORD

Donotdesire tobecalledholybeforeyouare;butbeholy first, thatyoumaybetrulysocalled.

—Chapter4:TheToolsofGoodWorks

SaintBenedict,itappears,wascomfortablewiththeideathathismonksmightwanttobecalledholy.Butwhatplacecanambitionhaveinamonasteryofallplaces,whereonecomes topursuea lifeofhumilityandself-denial?Isn’t thisvainglory?SaintBenedictdoesn’tseemtothinkso.AndhehastheScripturestobackhimup.InhislettertoTimothy,SaintPaulhimselfboasts:“Ihavefoughtthegoodfight,Ihavefinishedtherace,Ihavekeptthefaith.Fromnowon,thereislaidupformethecrownofrighteousness”(2Tim4:7).Atfirstglance,languagelikethiscanbeconfusing,becausewetendtoequate

humility with self-deprecation: “Oh, it was nothing, really”, “Oh, it’s justsomething I threw together”, or my own personal favorite: “I’m the biggestsinnerofthemall”,whichactuallyturnsouttobeaformofboasting,doesn’tit?Self-abasementisnotself-deprecation,butself-knowledge.Soifyoureallyaregoodatsomething,itisnoactofhumilitytobelittleyourtalents.Whenyoudothat, you just wind up insulting God, who gave you those talents in the firstplace.

AtOxford,Ihadafriendwholivedinacastle,whoinvitedmetostaywith

his family for a few days during one of our breaks. As we pulled up hisdriveway,andIsawthisenormouspieceofarchitecturethathecalls“home”—complete with its own pond, tennis courts, golf course, and chapel—I lookedoverathismomandsaid,“Seriously?That’syourhome?”Hismomlookedatthecastleand thenatmeand thenbackat thecastleagainandsaid,“Yes, it’swonderful, isn’t it?We really are blessed.” I might have expected her to saysomething like “Well, it needswork” or “Thanks, but it’s really hard to keepup.” Instead, she looked at her castle and thanked God for it. That is truehumility.So when folks praise God for some gift that you have, there is no sin in

acknowledging the gift. In fact, it would be a sin to deny it. “It is a sign ofhumilityifamandoesnotthinktoomuchofhimself,”wroteThomasAquinas,“butifamancondemnsthegoodthingshehasreceivedfromGod,this,farfrombeingaproofofhumility,showshimtobeungrateful.”4

HOMEWORK:ThankGodforsomethingyou’regoodat.

SELF-ABASEMENTINDEED

Nooneshouldbeexcusedfromkitchenduty,becausethisishowmeritandcharityareacquired.Also,theserversshouldwashthelinensattheendoftheweekanddotheSaturdaycleaning.Boththeoutgoingandtheincomingserversshouldwashthefeetofall.

—Chapter35:KitchenDuty

Everyonehaschores todo,andnobody—notevenamonk—likes todo them.Evenso,someone’sgottocleanthehouse,makethebeds,takeoutthetrash,dothe dishes, mow the lawn . . . If these jobs aren’t done, your home quicklybecomes a dirty, stinky, ugly mess. Thus, dish duty may sound like a minordetail, but it is essential to the good order of the community. And preciselybecause dishwashing is the job nobody wants, Benedict sees it as a uniqueopportunitytoacquire“meritandcharity.”Byhavingtheserverswashthefeetofthebrethren,helinkstheirworkwiththatofChristHimself,who“camenottobeservedbuttoserve”(Mt20:28).

We don’t have to work wonders, cast out demons, raise the dead, levitate,

bilocate,havevisions,ormakeprophesiestobeasaint.ThérèseofLisieuxwrotethat the Lord “needs neither our brilliant deeds nor our beautiful thoughts.”Rather,“Helovessimplicity.”5Or,inthewordsofMotherTeresa:“Therearenogreatdeeds.Onlysmalldeedswithgreatlove.”Sowhatmay seem like a small act of service is really a big opportunity to

cultivate holiness—an opportunity of which no monk should be deprived.“Whateveryoudo,”wroteSaintPaul,“doalltothegloryofGod”(1Cor10:31).ThatmeansyoucanwashdishesforthegloryofGod,takeawalkforthegloryofGod,brushyourteethforthegloryofGod,playsoccerorchangealightbulbforthegloryofGod.Whateveryoudo,youcandoitforthegloryofGod.It’snoteasy,butifyouwanttocultivateagenuinesenseofself-esteem,you

mustlearntorecognizetheselittleactsofself-abasementforwhattheyare:big

opportunitiestocultivatehumility.

HOMEWORK:Cleanatoilet.

STEPEIGHTPRUDENCE

Onlydowhatislawful,andfollowtheexampleofyourelders.

Beforeyoustartbreaking therules,besureyouknowwhythoserulesexist inthe first place.A good rule, like a good fence, is there to protect you. In thewordsofSaintPaul,yourthoughtsshouldbewhollydirectedtowhateveristrue,honorable,just,pure,lovely,gracious,excellent,andworthyofpraise(Phil4:8).Aprudentpersonknowswhentokeepanopenmindandwhentocloseit.

PRUDENCEINTHOUGHT

Themonk should fulfill daily the commands ofGod byworks; he shouldlovechastity,andheshouldhatenoone.

—Chapter4:TheToolsofGoodWorksThefirsttimeIreadBenedict’sadviceonchastity,itstruckmeasextremelyodd.PerhapsthisisbecauseIassociatetheterm“chastity”withallthethingsIshouldn’tdo.AndfromwhatIcantell,that’s

howmostpeoplethinkofit.WhenIteachmoraltheology,mystudentsinevitablyask,“WhenI’monadate,howfarcanIgobeforeit’sasin?”Butaquestionlikethisdemonstratesacertainlackofprudence.Afterall,youwould

neveraskateacher,“What’stheleastamountofworkIcandotopassthisclass?”Andyouwouldcertainlyneveraskyourcoach,“What’stheslowestI

canrunthisrace?”SoifyourgoalistogettoHeaven,thenasking,“What’stheleastIcando?”,probablyindicatesthatyouhavethewrongattitude.Abetter

waytoputitmightbe,“Whatisthebestwaytobechasteonadate?”Orbetterstill,“Howcanayoungmankeephiswaypure?”(Ps119:9)

Of course, there aremany differentways of answering this question.When

ourBrotherAthanasiusteachestheunitonchastity,hewalksintotheclassroomandwrites“NO”on thechalkboard.Thenhesays,“Todaywe’regoing to talkaboutchastity.Anyquestions?”Soonerorlater,someoneraiseshishandandsays,“Isitokifwe...”“No.”“Butwhatifshe’s...”“No.”“SometimesifI...”“No.”“Butwhatifwe’re...”“No.Ifyouhavetoaskthequestion,theanswerisno.”Hispoint,Ithink,isthatwhenyouareattractedtosomeone,thereisacertain

line that separates a chaste exchange of affection from the pursuit of lust.

Naturally,weallwanttogetasclosetothatlineaswecanwithoutcrossingit;andwhenwestartaskingquestionslikethese,it’sbecausewewanttopushthatlinealittlefurtherandarelookingforagoodexcuse.ButSaintBenedictsaysto lovechastity.Howdoyoulovesomethingthat is

always“no”?Anythinggoodisloveable,afterall,andchastityisgood.Sohere’showIputit:Feelfreetodoanythingyoucouldbragabouttoyourmom.Wouldyourmotherapprove?Ifso,thenyouareprobablygoodtogo.

HOMEWORK:Thinkofaruleyoudon’tlike,andreworditinapositiveway.

PRUDENCEINWORD

If any monk, without the permission of the abbot, presumes to associatewithanexcommunicatedbrotherinanyway,lethimbeexcommunicatedaswell.

—Chapter26:ThoseWhoAssociatewiththeExcommunicated

TheysaytheroadtoHellispavedwithgoodintentions.Ifyouaskme,Ithinkit’smorelikelytobepavedwithbadintentions,butthefactremainsthatpeoplesometimesdoverybadthingsfortheverybestreasons.WhenIwasworkingontheBeachPatrol,IwastoldastoryaboutaboywhoslippedofftheFifty-ThirdStreetPier anddrowned. Insteadof signaling the lifeguard (whowasnomorethantwentyyardsaway),hisfatherjumpedinafterhim,andpulledhimtoshorebythehair.Asitturnedout,thechildhadbrokenhisneckinthefall.Hemightwellhavesurvived,buthisspinalcordwasseveredwhenhis father tuggedonhishair.Tragic.Avoidable.Andaclassicexampleofwhat theologianscall “amisdirectedgood”.

Evencompassioncandoharmwhenyoushowitinthewrongway.Andthe

onlyguarantee againstmaking thatkindofmistake is thevirtueofobedience.Granted,therearetimeswhenwearecalledupontoresistauthority.Butmostofthe time, we have to trust that these authorities—secular authorities like ourteachers and parents, government authorities like police and firefighters, orreligious authorities like abbots and pastors—know what they’re doing andknowmorethanwedo.1Irealizethat’shardtohear,butSaintPaulhimselfsays,“Let every person be subject to the governing authorities. For there is noauthority except fromGod, and those that exist have been instituted byGod”(Rom13:1).In the situation described by Saint Benedict, the offending monk certainly

thinks he is doing the right thing by consoling the excommunicated. But hedoesn’thavethewholepicture,doeshe?Onlytheabbotknowsforcertainwhyhewas excommunicated and how he is suffering. Encouragementmay be thelast thingheneeds.SaintJohnCassianwarnsthatamonkwhoassociateswiththeexcommunicated“onlyencouragesmorearroganceandstubbornness in theoffender.By giving him a consolation that is only hurtful, hemakes his heartstillharder.”2Inotherwords,youdon’thelpasickpersonwhenyouencouragehissickness.Soinasituationlikethis,theprudentresponseistopray.Cometo

thinkofit,prayerisalwaysthemostprudentresponsetoanything.

HOMEWORK:Justsay“thankyou”thenexttimesomeonetellsyousomethingyoualreadyknow.

PRUDENCEINDEED

Chooseaprudentmantobecellarerofthemonastery—someoneofsettledhabits, temperate and frugal. Above all, he should be humble, so thatwheneverhereceivesarequest,hewillanswerwithakindword, for it iswritten:“Doesnotawordsurpassagoodgift?”(Sir18:17).

—Chapter31:TheCellarer

It isthejobofthecellarertokeeptrackofall themonastery’smaterialgoods.This is a very powerful office,which iswhy it is so important that the abbotchoosefor the jobamonkwhoishumble, frugal,andprudent.Material thingscanbeagreattemptation,eveninaspiritualcommunity(seethestoryofJudasintheGospels),sothecellarerhastobethesortofpersonwhocanwatchoverworldlygoodswithoutbecomingworldlyhimself.

What’smore, the things themselves have a certain sacredness of their own.

Throughoutthecenturies,Christianshaveslippedintotheerrorofbelievingthatourexistencecouldbeneatlydividedbetween the spiritual and thephysical—thatthespiritualworldwasgoodandthephysicalworldwasbad.Tobesure,thespiritual ismore important than the physical (seeCol 3:2); but you can’t justdismiss the physical world altogether because, as soon as you do that, youbecomecapableofabusingit.AndifGodsaidthatHiscreationwasgood(Gen1:31),whoarewetosayotherwise?WhenIwasseventeen,Iburnedaholeinthelivingroomcarpet.Ididn’tdoit

on purpose, but let’s just say I wasn’t thinking when I set the hot kettle of

popcorn on the rug in front of the TV. A fewminutes later, mymother wasstandingbeforemewithtearsinhereyes,saying,“Howmuchofthishousedoyouplantodestroybeforeyoufinallyleaveforcollege?Just letmeknowsoIwon’t get too attached.” That was a fewweeks after I had decided to jugglebowlingballsinmybedroom,andseveralmonthsafterIhadbackedthefamilycarintothegaragedoor.Ididn’tintendtodoanyofthosethings,butthenagain,it’s easy to be sloppy with someone else’s stuff. Saint Benedict foresees thisdangerinhismonastery,wherenooneownsanything.Sohedevotesthreefullchapterstothecareofmaterialgoods.Ultimately,everythingwehaveisonloantousfromGod.Beforelong,we’ll

bedeadandsomeoneelsewillbeinchargeofit.Andthisholdstrueonaglobalscaleaswellbecause“theearthistheLORD’s”(Ps24:1).Soregardlessofhowyou feel about climate change or species extinction or resource depletion, thematerialworldshouldbetreatedwithenormouscarebecauseitdoesn’tbelongtous.Wehavenomorerighttoburnaholeintheozonelayerthantoburnaholeinthelivingroomcarpet.It’samatterofrespect—notfornatureitself,butforGod,nature’sArchitectandLord.

HOMEWORK:Cleanupsomeoneelse’smess.Bonuspointsifit’sonthefloor.

STEPNINESILENCE

Onlyspeakwhenyouarespokento, forScripturesays,“Whenwordsaremany,transgressionisnotlacking”(Prov10:19).

Itcanbeagreattemptationtofilleverysilencewithwords—evenwhenwearepraying.But forSaintBenedict, there isno such thingasanawkward silence.Instead,heseeseverymomentofquietasanopportunitytolistentoGod.

SILENCEINTHOUGHT

Listen,myson, to the teachingsof themaster,andincline theearofyourheart.

—Prologue

Listen.ThefirstwordoftheRuleofSaintBenedictisalsothemostimportant.For the monk, it represents the focus of the spiritual life: listening to God.Everythingamonkdoes—fromthewayheeatsandsleepstothewayheworksandprays—isdesignedtohelphimlisten.“Areyoulisteningtome?”“Can’tyouhearwhatI’mtryingtosay?”People use these expressions all the timewhen they are arguing. Just think

howmanyproblemswouldbe solved ifwe reallydid listen tooneanother.ABenedictinenunbythenameofSisterMakrinaoncetoldmethatIshouldneveransweracomplaintwithoutrepeatingitbacktothepersonwhomadeit.Why?Becauseitassuresthespeakerthatyouarelistening.Youcan’tforcepeopletolistentoyou,butyouwouldbesurprisedhowopentheybecomeoncetheyareconvincedthatyouarelisteningtothem.

Themonk’slife,however,isnotsomuchaboutlisteningtootherpeopleasit

is about listening to God. And that’s even more difficult because God is agentleman.He speaks very, very quietly and rarely forces anyone to listen toHim. Ifwearenotvigilant,wecaneasilymistake someothervoice—orevenour own voice—forHis. This is why it’s so important to share your spiritualjourneywithsomeoneoldandwise—amentorwhocanhelpyoudistinguishthetruevoiceofGodfromthemanyimposterswhowanttotakeHisplace.I’llleaveyouwithsomethingelseSisterMakrinatoldme:Whenyoumeeta

wiseperson,listentohimandyouwilllearnwisdom;whenyoumeetafoolishperson, listentohimandyouwill learnpatience;whenyouarealone, listentoGod,andyouwilllearneverythingelse.

HOMEWORK:Refrainfromhavingthelastwordinyournextconversation(evenifit’sfriendly).

SILENCEINWORD

LetusdowhattheProphetsays:“Iwillguardmyways,thatImaynotsinwithmytongue”(Ps39:1).Becausesilenceissoprecious,themonkshouldrarelyspeakevenforgoodandholyreasons.

—Chapter6:Silence

FatherTimothyHorneristheoldestmonkatmymonastery.He’ssixfoottwo,with a patch of red hair sprouting from his head like a moss. He’s been allaround the world, has two degrees in classics from Oxford, served with theBritishSpecialForcesinIndiaduringWorldWarII,andisoneofthefoundersof Saint Louis Abbey. He is the direct descendent of “Little” Jack Horner(rememberthenurseryrhyme?),andheisthemostnoblemanIhaveevermet.I’veneverheardFatherTimothyraisehisvoice,I’veneverheardhimusemorewordsthanwerenecessary,andI’veneverseenhimvisiblyupsetbyanything.

Duringmynovitiate,ItookaclassfromhimonSaintBenedict’sRule(which

hehastranslated).FatherTimothywasalwaysearlyfortheseclasses,andIwasoftenlate—huffingandpuffing,pagesofnotebookpaperflying,areadyexcuseonthetipofmytongue.Butononeoccasion,FatherTimothywaslateforclass.Imadesureallmynotesandbookswereinorder,andwasrehearsingarebukeforhimwhenhearrived.Henevergaveme thechance touse it.Hemadenoexcusesorapologies.Infact,hedidn’tsayanythingatallashestrodeintotheroom.Instead,helaidhisbooksonthetableandplacedasmallyellowsquareofpaper in my hand. On it, these words were written: “God’s first language issilence:allelseistranslation.”1Isn’t it a shame thatwe live in a society that so fears silence.We turn the

radiosoninourrooms,theTVsoninourdens,thestereosoninourcars,andwhenwearenotnearanyoftheseplaces,weplugiPodsintoourears—anythingto avoid silence. Yet silence itself is the language of God! I’ll let you in onsomething I just recently learned: set aside a fewminutes each day to just be

silent, and you will find that you instantly become a more peaceful person.Imagine Jesus saying toyou (asHe said toHisdisciples), “Comewithmebyyourselftoaquietplace”(cf.Mk6:31).

HOMEWORK:Drivesomewherewiththeradioandthecellphoneturnedoff.

SILENCEINDEED

While themonks are eating, someone should read aloud froma book. Inchurchatthestartoftheweek,thereadershouldaskeveryonetoprayforhimthatGodmaywardoffthespiritofpride.

—Chapter38:TheWeeklyReaders

Silenceissoimportanttomonksthattheydon’teventalkwhiletheyareeating.Instead,oneofthemreadsfromabookwhiletheothersquietlyhavetheirmeal.SaintBenedictevenstipulatesthatthebrethrenshouldusesignlanguageratherthanwhisperwhentheyneedsomething.Inmymonastery,wehavespecialsignsformilk,water,bread,butter,starch,salt,pepper,andsoon.Thesignforwateris three fingers. The sign for starch is a closed fist.We even have a sign forketchup,whichwemakebydragging the right forefingeracross the leftwrist.It’sweird,but itworks.Anditshowsthatwereallymeanitwhenwesay thatsilenceisprecious.

Because the reader is the center of attention at meals, he needs to be

particularlyonguard against the sinofpride.This is a temptation common toministersofallkindsbecausewhenyouaregoodatsomething,it’seasytotakecreditforit.Worsestill,youcanwindupputtingyourpersonalityatthecenterofyourministry.Haveyoueverlistenedtoapreacherwhosoundedlikehewashostinga talkshow?“Wellhello,everyone!Goodmorning!TheLordbewithyou!”Everysentencemustendwithanexclamationpoint!WhentheministerkeepsinsertinghimselfbetweenGodandus,wegetangry.

So a goodminister (like a goodmusician or a goodwriter or a good teacher)knows in his heart that theministry comes first—themessage, themusic, thestory comes first—and the minister’s personality takes a far-distant second.Granted,thisishardtodobecausewecanspeakonlyfromourownexperience.

Butifweprayhumbly,theHolySpiritshouldmakeupforthatweakness(Rom8:26).MotherTeresausedtorefertoherselfas“God’spencilstub”.Shedidn’tdeny

thatshewasaccomplishinggreatworks,butshegavecreditforthoseworkstothe Holy Spirit, who held the pencil. “Will the axe boast over the one whoswingsit?”askedtheprophetIsaiah(10:15).Youmaybesharp,butgivecreditwherecreditisdue.Andifyouwantyourcreationtolast,don’tbuilditaroundyourself.BuilditaroundChrist(1Cor3:11).

HOMEWORK:Thenexttimesomeonecomplimentsyou,giveGodthecredit.

STEPTENDIGNITY

Donotbetooquicktolaugh,foritiswritten:“Afoolraiseshisvoicewhenhelaughs”(Sir21:20).

Whenyoucancontrolyour laughter,youarebeginningtodeveloptruehumandignity. This goes far beyondmere self-denial, because itmeans you have toknownotonlyhowtorestrainyourself,butwhenandhowtoindulgeyourselfaswell.

DIGNITYINTHOUGHT

WebelievethatGodispresenteverywhereandthattheeyesoftheLordseethe good and the bad in every place (Prov 15:3). Therefore, we shouldalwayskeepinmindhowweought tobehavein thesightofGodandHisangels,andletussostandtosing,thatourmindsmaybeinharmonywithourvoices.

—Chapter19:ThePracticeofthePresenceofGod

WhentheWhiteQueenofWonderlandtellsAlicethatsheisonehundredyearsold,Alicereplies,“Ican’tbelievethat...onecan’tbelieveimpossiblethings.”“Idaresayyouhaven’thadmuchpractice”istheWhiteQueen’sreply.“When

Iwas your age, I always did it for half an hour a day.Why, sometimes I’vebelievedasmanyassiximpossiblethingsbeforebreakfast.”ThedeepestmysteriesoftheChristianFaith(theIncarnation,theTrinity,the

Creation, theangels . . .)are incomprehensiblebutnot illogical—andcertainlynotimpossible.Nonetheless,contemplatingthesemysteriescangiveyourbrainaworkout.ManyChristiansjustquittryingandlosetheirfaithaltogether.

When I was in graduate school, I took a class on Renaissance literature. I

remember that one of the students in the class asked the professor a questionaboutParadiseLost.“Didtheauthorconsiderthisfantasy?”heasked.“No,”saidtheprofessor.“Thethingyouhavetorememberaboutpeopleback

then is that theywereextremely superstitious.They reallybelieved therewereangelsanddemonsallaroundthem,fightingfortheirsouls.”Theyoungmanlaughedandsaid,“Imaginethat!”Thena femalestudentbehindme raisedherhandandsaid,“Idon’thave to

imaginethat.Ibelieveit.”CertainlySaintBenedictbelieved it aswell, but it is abelief that is easy to

forget.Seeing,astheysay,isbelieving;andthesedays,folkstendtothinkthatifsomethingcan’tbemeasuredortouched,thenitmustnotexist.1Well,wemaynot seeGod, butHe surely sees us, andHe sees everythingwe do—even thestuffweareashamedof.Allaroundus,Hisangelsareprotectingoursouls(Ps91:11).And this isn’t justmyold-fashionedopinion.This isabelief that isasold as theBible itself. There are demons and angels all around us.We really

believethis.Butdoweactlikeit?Tobesure,Godhasasenseofhumor.Otherwise,what

wouldbethepointoftheturkeybuzzard?Orthearmadillo?Orthenakedmolerat? But are there some thingswewouldn’t laugh at if we knewHe andHisangels werewatching? Bearing this inmind is the best way to preserve yourdignityasachildofGod.

HOMEWORK:SpendhalfanhourreadingThomasAquinas’philosophicaltreatiseonangels.Itwillblowyourmind.

DIGNITYINWORD

Guardyourtongueagainstvulgarorwickedwords,donot loveexcessivetalking, watch how you joke around, and avoid unrestrained or raucouslaughter.

—Chapter4:TheToolsofGoodWorks

Ialmostneverregretkeepingmymouthshut,butIfrequentlyregretopeningit.And when the time comes for an apology, it’s sad how often I hear myselfsaying,“Gosh, Iwasonly joking.”SaintBenedictwantshismonks tobeverycarefulwiththeirsenseofhumor.Laughtercanbelife-affirming,butitcanalsobreakpeopledown,fillingtheirheadswithvulgarorcruelimages.Takemycollege roommates, forexample.For twoyears, I lived inahouse

withsevenotherrugbyplayers.Weteasedoneanotherincessantly,andthatwasokaybecause,frankly,itwaspartofthefunoflivingwithsevenrugbyplayers.If any one of us said, did, or implied anything even slightly embarrassing, hecouldexpecttobecomethebuttofeveryjokeinthehouse.Thoseweretherules,andweallunderstoodthem.Itwaspracticallyinthelease.

Oneoftheguys(hislastnamewasAckerman,sowecalledhim“Ack”)hada

habitofpostinglittlesignseverywhere.Itwasfunnybecausehewassixfootsixinches and 280 pounds, but he was also kind of a neat freak. The signs saidthingslike“Pleasewashyourcoffeemugs”and“Don’tforgettotakethelintoutofthedryer.”Asyoucanimagine,nooneobeyedthesigns.Infact,Idon’tthinkweevennoticedthematfirst;butprettysoon,westartedtoputuplittlesignsofourownsayingthingslike“Remembertorecycleyourearwax”and“Pleasedonot eat the socks.” Then we started leaving little notes for one another withmessages like, “Rudy, I cooked your cat. Leftovers in the fridge” and “Will,your sister called. She wants her Barbies back.” Someone left a note by thephone that just said, “Ack”. Then someone else wrote underneath it, “yourmom”andlater,someoneelsecamealongandwrote“isdead”.WhatnoneofusknewwasthatAck’smotherhadgonetotheemergencyroomearlierthatweekwithchestpains, sowhenAckcamehomeandsaw themessage,hepanicked.Hewashalfwaytothehospitalbeforeherealizeditwasajoke.Thatwastheendofthefunnysigns.AnditmighthavebeentheendofallsixroommatesifAckhadn’tbeensuchaniceguy.Thereisalinethatcanbecrossedwhenyoutellajoke,anditisoftendifficult

toknowexactlywhere that line is.The funniest jokes, after all, are those thatcomerightuptothelineofimproprietywithoutactuallycrossingit.Thisiswhy—andhere’stheseriouspart—youreallyneedtomakesureyouknowwhoyou

areteasingandhowthepersonwilltakeit.Youcan’treallyknowforsurewhatis in another man’s heart; so just because your friend is laughing along, thatdoesn’t necessarily mean he’s feeling all right.What’s more, some jokes aresimplybeneathyourdignity.2

HOMEWORK:Makesomeonesmilewithoutmakingthemlaugh.

DIGNITYINDEED

We are reluctant to dictate the quantity of food for others. However,allowingfortheweaknessofthesick,wethinkoneheminaofwineperdayshouldbesufficient foreachbecause“winemakesevenwisemenact likefools”(Sir19:2).

—Chapter40:FoodandDrink

Just as undignified humor and excessive laughter are symptoms of spiritualillness, so is immoderate drinking. Saint Benedict preferred that his monksabstain from alcohol entirely. But if the monks wouldn’t give up drinkingaltogether, he insisted they should at least drink responsibly—nomore than asingleheminaperday.Asyoucanimagine,theexactmeasureoftheheminaisatopichotlydebated

bymonksallaroundtheworld.Itcouldbeanythingfromacuptothreequartersofagallon.Butonethingiscertain:winemeantsomethingentirelydifferenttomonks of the Middle Ages than it does today. For starters, alcohol wasn’tentirelyrecreational.Winemadedirtywaterdrinkable,sounlessyouhadaverycleanwell,yoursurvivaldependedonit.Evenchildrendrankwine.Nonetheless,I find it amusing that Benedict tried—and failed—to talk his monks out ofrecreationaldrinking.

Similarly, I operate under no illusions when it comes to teenage alcohol

consumption.It’saproblem,tobesure.Butdrinkingisn’ttheonlyteenappetitethatcangetoutofhand.Videogames,texting,andtelevision—evendietingandexercisecanevolveintosomethingdestructive.I have a friend who claims he once spent thirty-six straight hours playing

World ofWarcraft, breaking only for bathroom and pizza runs.Honestly, thiscan’tbehealthy.Ourdignityexceeds thatof theanimalspreciselybecausewehavethecapacitytocontrolourappetites.Wesetlimitsforourselves,andifwecan’tmeetthoselimitationsbyvirtueofourownself-control,weenlistthehelpoffriendsandfamily.Oneofmystudentsinventedaningenioussolutiontohislate-nightgaming:everyeveningatseven,hewouldhandthecomputercordto

hisdad.Whenhis laptopbattery ranout,heknewhehad reachedhis limit. Itwasn’tverygoodforhislaptop,butitwasgoodforhissoul.

HOMEWORK:Spendanentiredaywithoutlookingatascreen.

STEPELEVENDISCRETION

Ifyoumustspeak,dosogently,humbly,earnestly,andquietly,withfewandsensiblewords;foritiswritten:“Thewisemanisknownbythefewnessofhiswords.”

Asthesayinggoes,it’sbettertoremainsilentandbethoughtafool,thantoopenyourmouthandremovealldoubt.Butthereareoccasionswhenyousimplymustspeak up. At times like these, you need to have a well-formed sense ofdiscretion.

DISCRETIONINTHOUGHT

Nomonkshoulddefendanotherinthemonastery.Norshouldhetakesidesin an argument because it causes very grave scandal. If anyone shouldviolatethisrule,lethimbeseverelypunished.

—Chapter69:PresumingtoDefendaBrother

Wow. Severely punished. And just for defending a friend. There’s got to bemoreherethanmeetstheeye.Andofcourse,thereis.SaintBenedictistalkingabout cliques and the grumbling that inevitably accompanies them.When youtake sides in anargument (not adiscussion,mindyou,but agenuinequarrel),youturnapersonalproblemintoapublicone.Adisagreement thatmightwellhavebeensettledinprivatemustnowberesolvedinpublic.

But what makes this behavior even more deplorable is that you are, on a

personallevel,playingGod.Jesussaid,“Judgenot,thatyoubenotjudged”(Mt7:1).Bythis,ofcourse,Hedidnotmeanthatweshouldjustaccepteveryone’s

behavior. We are called to make judgments about particular acts. We arepermitted—obliged, in fact—to analyze certain moral acts and determinewhethertheyconformtoobjectivemoralstandards.Weareobligedtosay,“Thisorthatactissinful”even“Thisorthatpersoncommittedasinfulact.”Whatweareforbiddentosayis,“Thisisabadperson”or“ThispersonisgoingtoHell.”Thedistinctionissubtle,butnecessary.Wejudgeacts,notpeople.Thisiswhytakingsidesinafightissodangerous.Asthesayinggoes,“Hewhomeddlesinaquarrel not his own is like one who takes a passing dog by the ears” (Prov26:17).Howdoyoudecidewhichbrothersareworthdefending?Just theonesyouagreewith?Thesmartestones?Theonesyou like themost?Andareyousureyouknowall thedetails?Onceyou start judgingyour friends, there’s notellingwhereyourjudgingwillend.Here’sthecatch,though:Youdon’tjudgepeoplewhenthey’reinthewrong,

butyoudon’tjudgethemwhenthey’reintherighteither.Intheolddays,peopleseemedprettyconfidenttheirneighborsweregoingtoHell.Thesedays,peopleseem pretty confident they’re going to Heaven. Either way, it’s not our call.Aboveall,discretionmeansknowingwhentokeepyouropiniontoyourself.

HOMEWORK:Thenexttimesomeoneannoysyou,don’ttellanyone.

DISCRETIONINWORD

Letthecellarerofthemonasterybeinchargeofallthemonasterygoods.Ifabrothermakesastupidrequest,thecellarershouldn’tsaddenhimwithacoldrefusal,butpolitelyandhumblytellhimno.

—Chapter31:TheCellarer

I love thisbitof theRulebecausemystudentsaskmestupidquestionsall thetime.Atnineo’clock thenightbeforeapaper isdueIgetanemailasking if Ican recommend sources; I get a letter from a parent demanding the rationalebehindagradeIassignedtwomonthsago.Anotherstudentasksfora7A.M.helpsessionwhenhedoesn’tevendohishomework.Butwhatreallygetsmygoatiswhenastudentasksforsomethinghedoesn’tneedas thoughhedeserved it. Ioncehadaseventh-gradertellme,“Thisisn’twhatwepayyoufor.”(Asthoughheeverpaidmeforanything.)

Of course, this is not a problem unique to teachers. Policemen, referees,

checkout clerks, and secretaries deal with it all the time. As a lifeguard inGalveston, I used tomarvel at the stupidity of the average beachgoer: parentsnappedwhiletheirchildrenswamintheripcurrent,touriststriedtoeatdeadfishthey found on the sand, swimmers ran screaming from the surf when theyspottedadolphin.Whilepointingat thehorizon,aguyonceaskedme if“thatthing”wasMexico.Hecouldn’tfigureoutwhythewater“juststopped”.To be sure, it is a great temptation to answer with sarcasm or anger when

someonemakes an unreasonable demand.Butwhat goodwould that do?And

whomwouldithelp?Besides,aren’twealwaysmakingunreasonabledemandsofGod?Wesleepthroughclass,skipthehomework,andprayforanAonthetest.Yetweare infuriatedwhenweget abadgrade.Orweask for amiracle,thenchalkituptocoincidencewhenwegetit.God responds toour stupiditywithkindness,patience, love, andgenerosity.

Imagine if He answered, “Three hundred people just died in a factory fire inCambodia.You think I really carewhatgradeyoumakeonyourhistory test?Come backwhen you have a real problem.” Instead, He says, “Don’t worry.Everyhaironyourheadhasbeencounted”(Mt10:31).Godis infinite,soyoucan be sure that some small part of Him really cares whether you pass yourhistorytest.Andthatpartisinfinitetoo.

HOMEWORK: Find a point of agreement with someone who has a differentopinion.

DISCRETIONINDEED

Theextentofanexcommunicationshouldbedeterminedbytheseriousnessoftheoffenseaswellastheprudenceoftheabbot.Anditshouldcontinueuntilthedisobedientmonkhasmadesatisfaction.

—Chapter24:DifferentKindsofExcommunication

Here’s a joke:Aguywithawoodeneyegoes to adiscoand seesabeautifulwomanstandingatthebar.Shehappenstohaveapegleg.Hewalksupandaskshertodance.Shesays,“WouldI!”Hesays,“Ididn’twanttodancewithyouanyway,pegleg!”1

There’samoraltothisjoke:Angerhasitsuses,butbeforeyouactinanger,

makesureyouunderstandwhyotherpeopleactthewaytheydo.SaintBenedictsaysthatamonkshouldn’tbequicktolaugh.Butheshouldn’tbequicktolashout either.More important still, he should understand his ownmotives. SaintBenedict clearly believes that fairness and proportion are intrinsic to the good

orderofacommunity.Iwouldaddthattheyarealsointrinsictothegoodorderofanindividual.Whenweareangryordepressed,weneedtobeabletotakeastep back and ask ourselves whether our mood actually matches the realityaround us. To put it in more psychological terms, we need to verify that theresponsematchesthestimulus.Ifsomeonecutsyouoffonthehighwayandyouarebentoutofshapefortherestoftheday;ifyourbrotherbreaksyourhockeystick, andyoucan’t stop thinkinghowmuchyouwant toget even; if a frienddoesn’tinviteyoutoaparty,andyouspendtherestoftheweekendwonderingwhat’swrong—don’tjustexplainitawaywith,“He’sajerk.”Youwon’tlearnanythingfromthat.Instead,trytosortthroughwhyyourreactionissoextreme.Our friend with the wooden eye clearly has some deep insecurities, but

everyonehassomethingthattriggersanegativeresponse.Whenyoufigureoutwhythisorthatbehaviorbothersyou,thenyouwillbeabletosetaboutrestoringpeaceandbalance inyourownlife.HereagainI recommendfindingamentorwhocanactasasortofrefereebetweenyouandyourmoodsandcanhelpyoufigureoutwhyyoufeelthewayyoudo,andhowtocometotermswithit.Like the disobedient monk, when you get upset, you may need to

“excommunicate” yourself for a while—go off by yourself and cool down.Afterward youmight need tomake up in some practical way for the damageyou’vedone.Whateverthecase,rememberthatthegoalistorestoreharmony.An excessive penance—even if you give it to yourself—will just throw thebalanceoffinadifferentdirection.Prayforthegiftofdiscernment.

HOMEWORK:Letyourselfbeinterruptedinaconversation,anddon’tfinishwhatyouweregoingtosayunlesssomeoneasks.

STEPTWELVEREVERENCE

Whereveryougo,bowyourheadinprayer,rememberingthewordsofthepublican:“God,bemercifultomeasinner!”(Lk18:13).

Here in the final step, Saint Benedict describes an ancient monastic practiceknownascustodiaoculorum—custodyoftheeyes.Thesedays,wewouldcallitsimply“reverence”,andwesavethisvirtueforlastbecauseitisthesumofalltheothers.ThefearofGodthatwestriveforinthefirststepinspiresself-denialandobedience.Perseveranceinthosepractices,temperedbysincererepentancefor our failures, strengthens us to experience serenity in the face of adversity.This in turn findsexpression inself-abasement,prudence,and, finally, silence.Nowsilence,infusedwithdignityanddiscretion,culminatesinaprofoundandjoyfulreverenceforcreation,forourneighbor,forourselves,andforGod.Lifebecomesaconstantprayerwherebywediscoverour fullestdignityasbrothersandsistersofChrist.

REVERENCEINTHOUGHT

Evenwhenamonkisawayfromhismonastery,heshouldperformtheWorkofGodinholyfearandonbendedkneewhereverhehappenstobe.

—Chapter50:AMonkonaTrip

There are two types ofmenwho join amonastery: those forwhom theRulesuits theircharacter,andthoseforwhomit tamestheircharacter.Thefirstsorthavenoneedofacommand to say theirprayers.Theywillnaturally say theirprayers when the time comes, whether or not they are in the presence of thecommunity.Fortherestofus,though,ittakesrealvigilancetokeepthosehoursfromslippingby.Andit’sespeciallyhardtokeepitupwhennooneiswatching.Sometimestheprayersfeellikeachore,andwecan’twaittogetthemoverwithsowecangobacktowhateverweweredoing.Thisiswhywejoinamonasteryand wear funny-looking clothes. The rules and reminders and rituals arenecessarybecause,withoutthem,wearelikelytobackslide.SaintBenedictwas all too familiarwith the second type ofman, and so he

adds this reminder that, evenwhenmonks are on their own, they need to saytheirprayerswiththesamedevotionastheywouldhaveinthemonastery—notjustmutteringthemtothemselveswhiledoingsomethingelse,butfulfillingtheobligation“inholyfearandonbendedknee”.

Whenyouareawayfromhome,yourparentsexpectyou tocall themevery

nowandthentoletthemknowwhatyouaredoing.Thatwaytheywon’tworrytoomuch, and you won’t fall out of touch. And so it is with your HeavenlyFather.Prayerisawayof“callinghome”.ItkeepsyouintouchwithyourFatherand in touchwithyour spiritualcommunity.“Drawnear toGod,”writesSaint

James,“andhewilldrawneartoyou”(Jas4:8).When I first arrived at SaintLouisAbbey as a postulant, therewas an old,

senilemonknamedEdward,whocarriedalittlesilverbellwithhimwhereverhewent. Itwasn’t longbeforemycuriositygot thebetterofmeand I askedhimwhy.“Atmyage,themindbecomesincreasinglyundependable,”heanswered,“so

Icarrythisbellwithme.WheneverIgetlost,Ijustringit.ThenIknowexactlywhereIam.”LetthenameofJesusbethatsilverbellforyou—areminderofwhoyouare,

whereyoustand,andwhatyoustandfor.Then,inthemidstofallthechaosoflife,when you start to feel lost, justwhisper that name, and itwill bring youbacktoyourself.

HOMEWORK:Withreverence,saythenameofJesustwentytimestoday.

REVERENCEINWORD

ThemonksshouldwakeupevenearlieronSunday.Aftertheusualprayers,the abbot should read a lesson from the Gospel, while the rest of thecommunitystandsinfearandtrembling.If—Godforbid—thebrethrenwakeup late, some of the lessons or the responsesmay have to be shortened.Whenthishappens,themonkatfaultshouldmakeapublicapologyinthechapel.

—Chapter11:MorningPrayeronSundays

Saint Benedict foresees only one occasion when the monks should cut shortSunday prayers: when, by some accident, they fail to wake up on time. Andwhoever is at fault needs to make an apology to everyone, including God.Prayer,yousee,isfundamentallyanactofjustice.WeoweGodourprayer.It’snot somethingwedo forourselves (thoughwegainmuch fromprayer),and itcertainly isn’ta favorwedoforGod(thoughofcourse itpleasesHim).Whenweneglect ourprayers,we are actually cheatingGodoutof something that isHisdue.

TrulyeachofushasarighttoapersonalencounterwithJesus,butsotooHe

hasarighttoapersonalencounterwitheachofus.AndtheprivilegedtimeandplaceforthatencounterisSundayatchurch,becausewhenwepraytogetherinChrist, we are no longer strangers, but “fellow citizens with the saints andmembersofthehouseholdofGod,builtuponthefoundationoftheapostlesandprophets,ChristJesushimselfbeingthecapstone”(Eph2:19–20).When Saint Benedict reflects on how his monks should say their Sunday

prayers, therefore, heuses this unusual phrase:cumhonore et tremore—“withhonorand trembling”.Benedictwantshismonks to feel the importanceof theSabbath. Sure, we are obliged to be there, but more importantly, we areprivileged to be there. We are honored to be there, and we tremble at themagnitudeofthathonor.Ofcourse,that’shardtodowhenwearesleepyorthemusicstinksorthecongregationisobnoxiousandlukewarm.Attimeslikethese,wemusttrytoseewiththeeyesoffaith.This,ultimately,iswhatwemeanbycustodiaoculorum.

HOMEWORK:ThisSunday,setanalarmtogooffeverythirtyminutes.Wheneverthealarmsounds,stopwhatyouaredoingandsayanOurFather.

REVERENCEINDEED

Nothingshouldbepreferred to theWorkofGod. Ifamonkshouldarrivelateforprayer,heshouldnotstandinhisusualplace,butshouldtakethelowestrankinchoir.Thisway,perhapshewillbeshamedintochanginghisbehavior.

—Chapter43:Tardiness

OfallthepassagesintheRule,thisonemakesmethemostuncomfortable.I’msoconsistently late foreverything,myownbrothermonkshavestartedcallingme“thelateBrotherAugustine”.TrulythisisoneareawhereIhavenoauthoritytopreach.Butingoodconscience,Ican’tskipiteither,soI’lljusthavetoplaythehypocrite.Themonkmayhaveotherthingstodointhecourseoftheday,butprayeris

the Work of God (Opus Dei, in Latin). So properly speaking, prayer is themonk’s job.Other religiousordershaveother jobs.Franciscansworkwith thepoor,Dominicanspreach, Jesuits teach,ChristianBrothers run schools, and soon;but theworkofthemonkisuniquelysimple:heprays.That’s it.Anythingelsehedoes issimply tosupport,enhance,orenable thisprayer.Andinmanyrespects,thatshouldbearuleforeveryone.Holinessmustbethefirstpriorityinyourlife,becausewhocareshowhardyouworkif,attheendoftheday,youarestillthesamelousypersonyouwerewhenyoustarted?

Likeanyotherformofemployment,prayerhastobedoneconsistently.Ifyou

wanttokeepyourjobandshowyourbossthatyoutakeitseriously,youhavetoshowupeverydayandpunchtheclock.SaintBenedictwouldaddthatyoualsoshowwhatyourprioritiesarebybeingthereontime.(Imaginemenowfiddlingwithmybeadsandnot lookingyou in theeyewhile I say this.)Youshowupearlysothatyoucanprepareyourselfforprayer.Youshowupearlysothatyoucandothejobright.Butmostofall,youshowupearlybecauseitshowsGod—and everyone else—that Jesus is the first priority in your life.When the bellringsforprayer,themonkdropswhateverhe’sdoingbecauseabsolutelynothingispreferredtotheWorkofGod.

HOMEWORK:ArrivetwentyminutesearlyforchurchthisSunday.

CONCLUSION

ThepurposeofthisRuleistohelpyoutobeholy—oratleasttohelpyougetstarted.Sodoyourbesttofulfillthislittleruleforbeginners;andyouwill,bythegraceofGod,reachtheheightsofknowledgeandvirtue.

—Chapter73,ThePurposeoftheRule

Backwhen I first decided to join themonastery,my roommate from collegedecided togooff toLosAngeles tobecomeamoviestar.RandallwasonTheYoung and the Restless and made guest appearances on sitcoms. He was inmovies and hung outwithmodels and rock stars.One night, I received a callfromhimon themonasteryphone.Hesaid tome“Guesswhowas justnamedTeenmagazine’s‘HunkoftheMonth’!”Isaidtohim,“Well,I’minamonastery,soitmustbeyou.”Asyoumightimagine,Randall’sstoriesstartedtobecomearealtemptationto

me.Wheneverlifeinthemonasteryseemeddullorlonely,Iwouldthinkofhim.Soa fewyearspassed,andafter IprofessedmySolemnVows, Iwent tovisithiminNewYork.Hehadalittlepartyinmyhonor.Allofhisbeautifulfriendswerethere:models,producers,musicians—andtheywereallbeautiful.Theloftwas beautiful. Randall and his wife were beautiful. The hors d’oeuvres werebeautiful.Even the little toothpickswere beautiful. Iwas really takenwith allthis beauty, and having a serious vocation crisis all tomyself,when this chicjewelrydesignerfromSohonamedClaudetteleanedtowardmeoverthecoffeetableandsaid,“Whydidyouhavetobecomeamonk?Isn’titenoughjusttobeagoodperson?”Shecouldn’thavepickedaworsetimetoask.But,assometimeshappens,the

HolySpiritsteppedinonmybehalf.Islappedmybeautifulhorsd’oeuvredownonthecoffeetableandsaid,“No!No,itisnotenough‘justtobeagoodperson’.That’s the least you can do. That’s theminimum. Think about it.What’s thealternative?You’reexpectedtobeagoodperson.ButGodwantsyouandmetobe saints—to live lives of heroic virtue—to give and give and give until ithurts!”ThenIstabbedmyselfwithatoothpickandhadtoruntothebathroom.Mypoint is thathumilityshouldneverbeconfusedwithmediocrity.Perfect

holinessisthepurposeforwhichwewerecreated,sowecan’tallowourselvestobecomfortablewiththestatusquo.Theminimumisnotenough.

Does this scare you? It should. “Everyone towhommuch is given, of himmuch will be required” (Lk 12:48). But it should also thrill you, because itmeansyouareinfinitelyimportantandalwaysloved.What’smore,youhaveawholearmyofsaintsatyourback.Youhavevolumesandvolumesofguidancetodrawupon.YouhavetheSacramentsandtheScripturesatyourdisposal—andalltheresourcesofanexceedinglyancientreligion.Sogettoit.Youknowthesteps,nowclimbtheladder.

HOMEWORK:Givethisbookaway.

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

Somany thanks tomybrothers, themonksofSaintLouisAbbey; tomy firsteditors, the brilliant and humble students of the Saint Louis Priory School; toFatherHenryWansbroughandthegentlemenofSaintBenet’sHall,Oxford;toJoannaWeaver for encouragingmewhen Iwas still just awannabe; toDawnEdenforencouragingmetokeepwriting;toRachel,Mary,andGeorgiaDeckerwhohavedevotedsomuchtimeandeffort tokeepingmehumble; toJeanandFrankWettaforteachingmehowtofakeit;toFatherJoeHillforshowingthismanuscript to the right people; to Bernie Kilcullen, Dianna Hartnett, JaredRashford,andMichaelNickolaifortheirpatience;toNicholasParafiniukforhispatienceandwisecounsel;toFatherFranciscoSchultewhowasthefirstmonkIever met; to Abbot Christopher Jameson for the charitably blunt advice; toFatherTimothyHorner for foundingmymonasteryandcondescending to readthismanuscript; toFatherPaulChovanec for teachingme thevalueofdoggedperseverance; to Walter Hooper for being my Oxford granddad; to Lola andAugustBrownfortheirhospitality;toJudyMerrillLarsenforthesageadvice;totheHenneberrys,theOwens,andtheNassarsfortheirprayers;toCardinalBurkeand Bishop Braxton for leadingwith courage; to the Kwai Nyu Rugby Club,without whom this book would have been written much sooner; to DetectiveVeronica Jadzinski for her brave and meticulous work; to Father AmbroseBennettandMr.TomCarrollforhelpingmetranslateSaintSymeon’spoem;tothe gracious souls of the Antioch Writers Workshop; to Vicki Hudson forbringingme to theSanFranciscoWritersWorkshop,where ImetEricLarsenandacouplehundredmorealliesintheWaronDespair;lastly,aloudthankstoSisterPitafortheregulardoseofreality.

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NOTES

INTRODUCTION1SaintEgbertwasaseventh-centurymonkandmissionary.Oddly,thename

seemstohavegoneoutofstyle,butI’mhopingitwillmakeacomeback.Backtotext.

STEPONE1C.S.Lewiswrotesomethingsimilarinhisbook,TheProblemofPain.Read

it.Ipromiseitwillbeworthyourtime.Backtotext.2 If the boy were a Spanish-speaker, his T-shirt could have referred to a

particularfriendnamedJesùs.ButIdoubtit.Backtotext.3 John Henry Newman, “The Religion of the Day”, Parochial and Plain

Sermons(SanFrancisco:IgnatiusPress,1997)206.Backtotext.4 Randy Bachman introduced a similar concept in his aptly titled song

“TakingCareofBusiness”:“Ilovetoworkatnothingallday.”Backtotext.

STEPTWO1IntheearlyChurchSarabitesweremonkswholivedindependently,without

followingtheauthorityofasuperior.Backtotext.3While in college, this student stirred up just asmuch trouble there as he

stirredupbackinhighschool—exceptthathediscoveredhecouldmakemuchmoretroublebydefendingChristiandoctrine!Backtotext.

STEPTHREE1 G. K. Chesterton, The Catholic Church and Conversion (San Francisco:

IgnatiusPress,2006),115.Backtotext.2Thereare,ofcourse,sometrulybadparentsintheworld.Ifyourparentsare

crueloraskyoutodoimmoralthings,thenyouhavesomeveryharddecisionstomake.Backtotext.

3 I once overheard one of my students tell someone, “If you have to saysomethingbadaboutme,atleastmakesureitisn’ttrue.”Backtotext.

STEPFOUR1 Basil,TheMorals 22, quoted inLuke, Ancient Christian Commentary on

Scripture,NewTestament3,p.214.Backtotext.2 Ifyoudon’tbelieveme,youcan lookup“SurfingMonkNearlyEatenby

Shark”onABCnews.com.Thecrucialwordthereisnearly.Backtotext.3 John Chrysostom, “Homily 8”, in Nicene and Post-Nicene Fathers 1, ed.

Philip Schaff (Grand Rapids, Mich.: Eerdmans, 1886), 13:394, ChristianClassicsEthereal Library,www.ccel.org/ccel/schaff/npnf113.iv.iii.ix.htmlBacktotext.

4Theshowfeaturedeighttwenty-somethingsroomingtogetherinabeachouseontheboardwalk.Backtotext.

STEPFIVE1Turnsout,theculpritwasoneoftheoldmonks.Hehadspentalldaypiecing

theironbacktogetherwithwhathethoughtwassuperglue.Infact,hewasusingeyedrops.Backtotext.

2LouisBrandeis,OtherPeople’sMoneyandHowtheBankersUseIt (NewYork: Frederick A. Stokes, 1914)https://archive.org/details/otherpeoplesmone00bran.Backtotext.

STEPSIX1 I didn’t think up this metaphor on my own. I stole it from the spiritual

conferencesofAbbaDorotheosofGaza,oneoftheveryfirstmonks.Lookhimup.He’sawesome.Backtotext.

STEPSEVEN1Thomas àKempis,The ImitationofChrist,TheWorkofGodApostolate,

theworkofgod.org/Library/Books/Kempis/Imitation_Jesus_Christ.htm. Back totext.

2 This image actually comes from one of themore disturbing verses of thecursingpsalms:“Happyshallhebewhotakesyourlittleonesanddashesthemagainst the rock!” (137:9). Literally, the psalmist is asking God to kill hisenemy’schildren.Well,weallfeellikethatfromtimetotime—ormostofusdoanyway—andit’sgood that there’saprayer forpeoplewhofeel thatway.ButSaint Benedict sees the “children” as temptations and “Babylon” as Satan’skingdom.HeenvisionsusdashingthesetemptationsagainstChristHimself,whostands just to our left on the spiritual battlefield, unflinching and rock-solid.Backtotext.

3 Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, Maxims and Reflections (New York:MacMillan, 1906), 518, Project Gutenberg, gutenberg.org/files/33670/33670-h/33670-h.htm.Backtotext.

4 Thomas Aquinas, Summa Theologica, trans. Fathers of the EnglishDominican Province, II-II, q. 35, a. 1.

www.documentacatholicaomnia.eu/03d/1225-1274,_Thomas_Aquinas,_Summa_Theologiae_%5B1%5D,_EN.pdf. Back totext.

5ThérèseofLisieux,TheStoryofaSoul,www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/16772.Backtotext.

STEPEIGHT1 I find it bafflinghowpeople are soquick to accept thevoiceof authority

when it comes to medicine, law, plumbing, dentistry, and auto repair, butconsiderthemselvesexpertswhenitcomestotheology.Backtotext.

2 John Cassian, The Twelve Books on the Institutes of the Coenobi 2, 16,translatedbyauthor.Backtotext.

STEPNINE1ThomasKeating, Invitation toLove:TheWayofChristianContemplation.

Backtotext.

STEPTEN1 Unless of course, they are talking about quantum physics, relativity, dark

energy, electrons, and such, in which case, they suddenly and inexplicablybelieveit.Backtotext.

2Fortherecord,jokesaboutrace,religiousconvictions,andfamilyshouldbeavoidedentirely.Backtotext.

STEPELEVEN1Saythejokeoutloudifyoudon’tgetit.Backtotext.