icw special q2, 2018 going beyondicw special q2, 2018 “to create an inclusive coaching community,...

ICW SPECIAL Q2, 2018

“TO CREATE AN INCLUSIVE COACHING COMMUNITY, ENABLING TRANSFORMATION OF STAKEHOLDERS THROUGH AWARENESS AND ACTION” 1

GOING BEYOND

IN THIS ISSUE…

CONTRIBUTING COACH

BOUNDARIES IN COACHING PRACTICE – SUKH MISHRAA, PCC

FINDING MEANING IN FEAR - SANDRA COLHANDO, PCC

SUCCESS THROUGH THE ARTS – APARNA APTE GUPTA

MIND YOUR MINDSET – SHYAM MALHOTRA, PCC

INTERNATIONAL COACHING WEEK

KICK-OFF WITH COACHATHON

LEARNING BEGINS…

DEMYSTIFYING COACHING

CONCLUSION WITH A COACH CONNECT

THE LEARNING CONTINUES…

THE INNER GAME – SOUMI PAL BASU

FROM A LIFE OF COMPROMISE TO INSPIRATION & FULFILMENT – PRIYANKA DUTTA



FROM THE PRESIDENT’S DESK

My Coach, My Lighthouse: A Partnership of Hope It’s been 1000 days since we all gave ourselves the

commitment “To create an inclusive coaching community, enabling transformation of stakeholders through awareness and action.”

We’ve had A Joyful Journey of Faith, Trust and Bonding, each one of us giving our “Push to The Coaching Flywheel in India !!” The first 700 days were dedicated “To create an inclusive

coaching community” by: • Being Alive: Financials for Sustainability and Self

Propagation

• Being Open: Inclusiveness and Diversity

• Being Coaches: We all Partner in and Facilitate (in the spirit of coaching) Growth of Coaching Profession and Transformation of self and Delhi NCR Chapter

The next 300 days we together progressed further towards Creating Awareness and Immediacy about “Coaching as the Most Effective Methodology for People

Development”, as we rededicated ourselves to Sharing “enabling transformation of stakeholders through awareness and action.”

• Sharing Benefits of Coaching through ‘Demystifying Coaching’ sessions across organisations

• Sharing Experiences through Probono Coaching, Demo Sessions, Peer Coaching, Panel Discussions, Writeups/Articles

• Sharing Information through Learning Leap

Opportunities for understanding Membership, Certification and Credentialing with ICF

In the next 1000 days, as we move forward into The Future with A Vision 2020 of 200 members for the chapter, we also take Professional Coaching on a new

high by living the theme: My Coach, My Lighthouse: A Partnership of Hope. It will be appropriate to start the next leg of our journey and beyond with this quote: “In

order to carry a positive action we must develop here a positive vision.”- Dalai Lama

Regards

JP Singh



INTERNATIONAL COACHING WEEK

KICK-OFF WITH A COACHATHON

The ICF Delhi NCR Coaching Fraternity

Strategizing



Jenni Sandra

Rupinder leading the way Striding on…Priyanka Rahul

Coachathon Pictures Courtesy ICF Delhi NCR Chapter member Kiriti Sen



THE LEARNING BEGINS…

Learning Leap 1

The Art of Reading People to Build Rapport with Alan Stevens

People make snap decisions within the first few seconds of meeting you. Knowing that and how they see you give you greater power. Being able to read how someone else prefers to be spoken to and

treated, within just seconds of meeting them, ensure memorable and lasting relationships. We covered some of the skills involved and the audience walked out with skills they can use immediately. We also discussed how to really communicate with significant people in our professional and personal lives.

Our Speaker Alan Stevens is an International Profile and Communications Specialist. He is regularly featured on National TV, Radio and in the World’s Press, profiling the likes of leading politicians, TV and sports stars as well as Britain’s Royalty. The Newcastle Herald describes Alan Stevens as “The Mentalist meets Dr Phil “and as "The leading authority in reading faces, globally" by the UK Guardian. He is an authority in reading people; what they are not saying, what they are attempting to conceal and how they are likely to behave in given situations. All of this through recognising the unconsciously leaked indicators of concealment and deceit as well as the indicators of a person’s conscious preferred behaviours and personality. He has over 30 years accumulating experience, and skills in training and coaching, counselling, psychometric profiling, neuro-linguistic programming (NLP), body language, micro and subtle expressions and reading personality traits. Alan holds a broad range of

qualifications including Master Certifications in Human Trait Recognition, Neuro Linguistic Programming, Neurological Repatterning, Ericksonian Hypnosis. He also holds Professional and Elite Proficiency Level in Micro & Subtle Expression Recognition and Dangerous Demeanour Detection.

Learning Leap 2

The Game of Coaching with Michael Stratford, MCC

We explored the 7 Elements of Any game, anywhere around the world throughout history and how

those elements create a path of inquiry for the coach and client. The session helped coaches approach the client conversation with creativity and lightness. It deepened the application of the existing core competencies powerful questioning, active listening, direct communication, planning and goal setting.

It also created awareness to help coaches approach their business of coaching in a playful and imaginative way

Our Speaker: Michael Stratford, MCC Known as the Provocateur of Transformation, Michael Stratford is a personal growth expert with such an innovative and unique approach, he is known for unleashing personal and business transformations. Michael is well-known as a pioneer in the field of coaching, coach training and development. As a Master Certified Coach, he has trained more than 6,000 coaches worldwide, developed curriculum for four coach training organizations and trained their trainers. Michael has worked with individuals and groups on leadership development and co-created “Coaching Skills for Business Leaders” Program. He was one of the first coaches ever to be awarded the Master Certified Coach (MCC) credential by the International Coach Federation. He has written four books on coaching including Masterful Questions, Directed Evolution: Taking Charge of Change, Hungers: The

Hidden Motivators and The Game of Coaching. He is currently writing Quintessential Leadership: 5 Timeless Practices for Leaders.



DEMYSTIFYING COACHING

NIIT TECHNOLOGIES LIMITED

Ashok and Nidhi interacting with a mesmerized audience

The session at NIIT Technologies, Greater Noida on ‘Experiencing Coaching’ — My Coach My Lighthouse - an ICF Delhi NCR Chapter initiative run to celebrate the ICF Coaching Week — was received with plenty of interest and enthusiasm by over 40 Technology business leaders, owners of majority of people in the organization. The session was led by the Delhi NCR Chapter members, Ashok

Narain and Nidhi Aggarwal. The focus of the session was on the relevance and importance of coaching as the prime leadership trait and how ICF credentialed Coaching across the globe can enhance self -awareness, effective communication and accountability among leaders in all that they do in their

individual and professional roles.

VERY SPECIAL ARTS INDIA

Vikas and Deep Interacting with their multi-talented and creative audience

Deep and Vikas, found an audience highly creatively able and are multitalented in streams like painting,

candle making, looming and weaving, dancing, theatre and much more. Very Special Arts India is an

organization that believes that no mental or physical challenge limit human potential to create and

excel. In this organization, all people with disabilities can come together to learn, participate and enjoy

the arts. The NGO is doing some superlative work by providing the underprivileged and Special



children/adults with a great environment, opportunity to learn and be productive for the society, giving

them vocational training. The session went off very well. The facilitators were blessed with an attentive

audience who were not only keen, but also wanted to take as much out of this activity as they could.

They enjoyed being coached briefly during demonstration and could see a state change and receive

clarity for who they wish to be while working. One of them even volunteered for being coached in front

of the group thus boldly throwing herself vulnerable. The volunteer walked away with an insight to work

upon within the 20 minutes of our session. The attendees showed interest in being coached.

SIGHT LIFE

Amit and Jayshree with the Sight life team Deep in conversation

Amit Vip and Jayshree ran a 2-hour session on “Demystifying Coaching” session for a group of 9 employees of Sight life. It was an engaging discussion with the group who had some idea about Coaching and threw a lot of questions clarifying their doubts. It was quite refreshing to have a bunch of

participants who kept throwing questions and were equally responsive to questions asked of them.

MAXLIFE

Ashima and Anita with the team of Maxlife

The most satisfying moment for the facilitators Anita Gupta and Ashima, was when most participants wanted to know how they could now become internal Coaches, and one of the participants said, "Everybody needs a coach!". Through the session, the HR and Business heads, got complete clarity on what coaching really is and who can be supported with Coaching interventions. They also realised that

Coaching is not only meant for senior leaders but can and should be availed at all levels. There was a dialogue on the benefits of mentoring vs coaching, and related coaching to their own work and personal life. There were clear needs of wanting to understand the 'intrigue' of Coaching by getting to know the

process, competencies, etc.



EXECUTIVE ACCESS

In discussion at Executive Access Manbir and Nidhi with the participants

The session at Executive Access was attended by around 25 people with work experience ranging from 5 years to 25 years. There were lots of questions and the session was quite interactive. Manbir Kaur and Nidhi Aggarwal also conducted a demo coaching session, which was received very well. Many of

the participants shared that they had their own reflections during the demo coaching session. They indicated an interest to explore coaching for alignment of strategic goals across various level in organisation.

ORBIS

Framed at Orbis Susmita interacting with participants

7 people from the leadership team attended the session at Orbis. The team was quite curious about the

coaching process. Susmita Sen and Manbir Kaur had a participative audience with some good

discussion on the subject. Orbis has indicated a keen interest to explore coaching options with IC F

Delhi NCR chapter.

KAT KATHA

Soumi and Kiriti demystifying coaching and its relevance, at Kat Katha



Kat Katha is a unique organisation, bringing a ray of hope to a group of the children of the Didis, the sex workers of G.B Road. It’s run by a bunch of young professionals and Didi’s, led by a remarkable

lady. Delivering a session to such a heterogenous group was a challenge. Creating relevance of coaching in their current work profile also was an additional issue. The facilitators Soumi Pal Basu and Kiriti Sen decided to discuss the bare essential concepts keeping the methodology informal

conversation in mix of English and local language. The entire process was highly interactive and engaging for the 8 members that attended. The outcome was a heightened interest in applying

Coaching methodology in the current organisation primarily for the staff and the volunteers.

CHILD FUND

Susmita and Anjana with Child Fund India participants

The Demystifying Coaching session at Child Fund India elicited a lot of interest in coaching. It was a

highly interactive session with the participants asking questions and engaging animatedly with the

presenters Susmita Sen and Anjana M Chandra. There seemed to be a genuine interest in taking the

coaching conversation forward with ICF Delhi NCR Chapter. Overall, it was a satisfying experience for

us and it appeared that the participants walked away with plenty of food for thought.

IREO

Nidhi and Jenni with the leaders at IREO

Nidhi Aggarwal and Jenni Hampshire presented “Demystifying Coaching” to 35 leaders at IREO on May 10th, 2018 in Gurgaon. The group was eager to learn about coaching and how to use it in their

leadership roles. At the end of the session there was great feedback about understanding coaching more clearly and a lot of inquiry about how to find coaches. Some are looking into opportunities for



training to become coaches themselves. Thank you, IREO for your warm reception and great involvement in the session.

PATH

Jaba sharing insights with the audience Shyam demystifying coaching

Jaba Sen Menon and Shyam Malhotra conducted a Demystifying Coaching session for PATH, an

international Non-Profit working in area of health. The session was attended by Senior Management of

the organization. The session focused on coaching, Its benefits, How can managers use it in their roles

and what constitutes a coaching culture in an organization as well as ways to create a coaching culture.

The session impact was considered to be very good and ‘on the right track’ for the organization.

SAMARPAN FOUNDATION

Jayanthi and Avtar sharing insights with the Samarpan team

Ms Jayanthi and Major Avtar Singh were assigned to do a Demystifying Coaching session with the

teaching staff of Samarpan Foundation, which runs eight schools in different parts of Delhi, mainly in

slum areas to provide education to the poor. The session was attended by 50 teachers gathered from

all schools run by Samarpan Foundation. The session was interactive and delivered in Hindi for the

understanding of the audience. The take aways have been very high for the attendees. The foundations

expressed interest in organizing more such sessions in future.



SAMARPAN FOUNDATION

Hitesh and Anubha with the Samarpan volunteers

Hitesh Arora and Anubha Khanna conducted a Demystifying Coaching session with the volunteers of

Samarpan Foundation. The volunteers support different divisions and departments of the Foundation

like Childrens’ Home, Empowerment division, Administration to name a few. The Foundation runs on

private funding. The session was interactive, with questions and answers from participants, and

discussions. There were 11 participants, and the conversation veered towards them forming an

understanding on how coaching can work for them in their roles in the Foundation, and how it could in

turn benefit their client groups like children, women and internal staff. The session was very well

received.

LANDESA

Major Avtar and Anubha demystifying coaching at Landesa

Ms Anubha Khanna and Major Avtar Singh facilitated a Demystifying Coaching session for the

leadership of Landesa, a US based NGO. Landesa supports women in land related issues and disputes



in different parts of India he session was attended by 10 executives including the India Head of

Operations. Six executives attended in the classroom and four regional directed were virtually

connected. The session was very well received, and all the queries of the executives were addressed

to the best.

MORE THAN HR (MTHR)

HR professionals listening intently to Cindy and Shampi

A group of 35 industry professionals from the voluntary industry group of MTHR (More than HR) got

together to talk on ‘Building a Culture of Coaching’ at the NIIT Corporate' Learning Solutions office

at Gurgaon. ICF Coaches Shampi Venkatesh, Nidhi Aggarwal and Cindy Peace facilitated this most

interactive discussion. Quite a few myths were busted…a couple of significant ones - (a) indeed

Coaching can be very effective in telephonic or skype mode and technology today helps break the

geographic barriers, (b) that coaching is not an option that is restricted to only CXO or senior

management of a company and middle level managers can also benefit greatly from it (c) the coach

doesn’t ‘take’ the client to his/her destination, it is the client who is in the driver’s seat and can has to

reach the destination on his/her own, supported by the coach! The group was also educated on what

are the critical quality parameters on coach selection and how to access the Coach Finder on

coachfederation.org for ICF credentialed coaches.

Pooja Malik, CHRO Mytrah NN4 shared – “the session was very insightful and engaging. Nobody could

have imagined that it was a session at end of a working day with so much energy and passion in the

room”

Deepak Bharara, a very well Industry leader shared – “wonderful session, learning and networking while

having fun…thoroughly enjoyed. Would love to follow up with a half a day session with pract ice,

observation, views etc. to enable all participants fall in love with coaching passion”

Another CHRO told the ICF Coaches that it was totally worth the travel all the way from Noida to

Gurgaon!



WOMEN OF SUBSTANCE (WOS)

Delhi

The day witnessed utilization of abundant energy that all the 13 participants brought in the group

coaching room with their diverse and vast experience, which was further built and channelized by ICF

Delhi NCR coaches – Ms Shweta Handa Gupta, Mr. Amit Vip and Ms Shampi Venkatesh. The group

distilled to a common topic in no time- Bouncing Back. The average experience in the room was around

two decades and the synchronized glow was visible. The environment was supportive, accommodative

and inspiring for one and all. Each participant got a chance to boil down to her goal by settling oneself

in the safest place of her won with no distraction, each could figure out where is she to bounce back

from. Each participant was left with a couple of questions to self-introspect further. Session ended and

each one was beaming with wanting more feeling and they all pledged to give their actions a timeline

with a serious thought around the potential blockages that may come in their way to reach their goal

and what support do they have, or can they outsource to overcome these stops.

Noida

Nidhi and Sukh had a motley & eager group of seven people with work experience ranging from 1 month

to almost 25 years including Head HR of MNC firm, Assistant Editor of a people magazine & seasoned

Entrepreneurs. The setting was cool, comfortable & spacious with bean bags etc to sit and snacks to

munch on the side. The group wanted to pick up individual topics on which they needed to move

forward instead of picking up a common topic. The participants were active in sharing & contributing,

a good rapport had been established by then & there was healthy banter amongst the participants which

helped in gaining traction & coaching effectively. By the end of group coaching session, all participants



had picked up something for themselves to reflect & act upon. We talked about ICF, its philosophy of

coaching & how it was different from other types of interventions and what it means to be a part of it.

Since the participants had themselves experienced coaching by then, they could relate to it very well.

Delhi

The group of 13 attendees was closely bonded and resonated with the common goal that was picked

up and the insights that seem to have been triggered within each of them by our ICF Delhi NCR

facilitators Anita Gupta, Mona Singh and Nidhi Aggarwal. The simplicity of questions that could power

the exploration & triggered thoughts was expressed by almost everyone. Some impressions shared by

participants at the end of the session were "Can reinvent myself through coaching". "It’s all about self

first, "'Inside out', nudged through coaching, "Very enriching session. came to see what coaching was

all about and had the added advantage of experiencing it for myself. The discussions opened up a lot

of thoughts", "excellent session...open the closed door of mind and let the fresh air in, allowing different

perspectives to be looked at with newer dimensions."

DESIRE FOUNDATION

Desire Foundation is a government registered trust, which aims to empower disadvantaged sections of society. It is an organization committed to social upliftment through engaging youth and creating a

business where the motive is not just profit but to bring the marginalised communities into mainstream. Since the leadership team of this organization is spread over different states if India, the Demystifying Coaching session was conducted through a webinar by Dr. Uttara Pattanaik. This organization is led by youth and mostly students, who are passionate about driving change both in the society and within

themselves. Eight people participated in this webinar and passionate discussion happened regarding a leader's role as a coach and creating a ripple effect in society. The leadership team is curious to experience coaching and may opt for probono coaching services through ICF Delhi NCR Chapter.

SHEROES

Six of our member coaches (Yoshita Sharma, Mona Singh, Jayashree, Soumi Pal Basu, Susmita Sen and Shalini Bajaj) created awareness on coaching among diverse communities of women through the SHEROES platform. SHEROES is a women's community platform, offering support, resources,



opportunities and interactions via Sheroes.com and the SHEROES App. It is a space, where members discuss health, careers, relationships and share their life stories, achievements and moments.

The coaching awareness campaign started a week prior to the International Coaching Week, when the

concept of coaching was introduced to the different communities of women and our member coaches were available online for a week to take questions that women might have regarding the essentials of coaching. During the coaching week, three webinars were conducted (a) Power of NO by Mona

Singh (b) Love Yourself by Jayashree (c) How Women Stall Their Own Career by Yoshita Sharma which witnessed enthusiastic participation by a diverse group of women from both coaching and non-coaching fraternity. Articles on related topics like “Career Issues – Find the Right Coach for you”, “Women in

Leadership”, “Being Vs Doing” etc majority of which were written by our member coach, Ms. Soumi Pal Basu were shared with the SHEROES community. The innovative approach, authentic connection and positive attitude of our coaches helped them to reflect & shift perspectives and motivated many women to take charge of their lives.

These initiatives were deeply appreciated by the SHEROES India management. They have approached us for a weekly engagement to assist their Women Entrepreneurs to unleash their potential

and exploring the use of coaches in another initiative called “Raise your Game”.



CONCLUSION WITH A COACH CONNECT

In discussion on My Coach, My Lighthouse: A partnership of Hope. From L to R: Ronesh Puri, Priyanka Aggarwal, Shyam Malhotra, Nina Kler and Rakhi Nathawat. Arvind Mehrotra shared via

video recordings

The ICF Delhi NCR Chapter Coaches and guests at the Coach Connect



Sharing My Experiences with Listening. From L to R: Natasha, Shalini, Anita, Neha, Sushil,

Nitish, David and Shaktibrata

An exclusive screening of the Coaching Movie LEAP

Coach Connect Pictures Courtesy ICF Delhi NCR Chapter member Kiriti Sen



CONTRIBUTING COACH

Boundaries in Coaching practice

By Sukh Mishraa, PCC

Note: The coach in the write-up is referred to as “she” to maintain gender neutrality.

I’m sharing some inputs from my experience as a supervisor and my perspectives; I’m not positioning myself as an expert on the topic.

From the many topics that are brought to supervision, one that emerges as a challenge is

“Boundaries in Coaching engagements”.

Ask a coach, what “boundaries” mean to her and we’re likely to get some generic/subjective

experiential responses. And as we tug the topic for a closer look, we discover many dimensions of “boundaries”, that we underestimate the impact it can have on coaching partnerships.

If you’ve heard a client say any of the following, you’d know what this refers to:

“I thought the coach schedules the session” “My coach is a buddy, I can speak to him at any time” “My coach knows me so well her advice always

works for me”

Or if you’ve heard a coach say: “I want my client to succeed/ make great

progress in the coaching journey” “I get angry/triggered when my client doesn’t “journal/ complete after-session assignments”

Establishing Boundaries Most coaches are familiar with this area of

coaching practice. At the start of the coaching engagement we set up contract, establish the Roles & Responsibilities of the coach and the client. We are generally nice and pay extra

attention to a few points: building rapport, getting to know each other, what works and so on. Interestingly, the clients do the same thing.

As adults we definitely want to look good to each other/want to make the best impression/ share all that shows us in good light.

Till here everything works as planned.

Maintaining boundaries

As the coaching partnership develops, the unfolding of two personalities in the partnership happens. And to add to that complexity, there

are coaching stakeholders as well who may be known to/ close to/ have interest in both the client and the coach. That is why it’s referred to as unfolding,

because, all of how it’ll show up will not be known right at the beginning.

1. Self-awareness: Knowing your own triggers

We are all human. Setting boundaries is about knowing who you are, what is important to you, what’s important in you when you partner with clients in their coaching journey. What’s your

description and understanding of being in partnership? What is acceptable and not-acceptable to you in coaching partnerships?

When you have clarity on the above, you are most likely to honor the other person’s boundaries as well, in this case a coaching

client. As a coach, get a hang of the personalities/professions/Life positions/backgrounds/your own biases, you

may not be neutral working with. 2. Caring too much

As coaches we have a genuine interest in the well-being and progress of our clients. But do we know when we may be caring too much?

Coaching is about supporting and challenging a client. It’s like being on the see-saw. Depending on your client you’ll figure out when and how

much of support or challenge may work.

When we communicate or act from “caring too much” space, we may be stepping into a

helping/parent/caretaker/guardian/rescuer



zone. You’ll recall the story of the man helping a butterfly emerge from the cocoon.

3. Valuing Time commitments “My client is always late for the session” “My client takes his boss’s calls in the middle of

our coaching session”

If a coach consistently exceeds the coaching session time, for whatever reasons, it’s an

example of extending boundaries. It may not impact the coach’s next session/piece of work considering a coach is less likely to have back

to back sessions with no mental wrap up time. Going beyond session time may convey that the coach doesn’t value time. It may even create an impression with stakeholders that “it’s ok” to

play with the coach/coaching time. Getting some rules around time lines serves all

stakeholders. 4. Blurring of boundaries A coach gets into a mentor role/ counselling…

One relationship transitions into another, for e.g. a friend becomes a client or a client become a good friend.

Since we would like to maintain/position our Professional image/ of being a Coach, setting

clear boundaries with respect to the role we are slipping into is essential. Letting the client know (who is also a friend), “I’m wearing my coach hat now...”

A practice like this sets the expectations and rules of the relationship you are in.

Likewise, be clear of the boundaries when you’ve completed the engagement. What hat

will you don when the ex-client will call /meet you and the topic under discussion is the client’s coaching progress. Many coaches struggle

here-some say, “It seems I’m still a coach here and now a pro-bono coach” 5. Being neutral/Maintaining neutrality

A coach gets drawn into the client’s story, gets bought into the story and loses objectivity. A coach tends to feel too-familiar with the

client/sees herself/ someone close in the client. Interestingly, even the most seasoned coaches experience it, but they are quick to notice and

be aware of when it happens to them. Many would vouch for supervision to help them see what otherwise would go unnoticed and impact

their work. It’s easy for anyone to get hooked in topics that

either generate a lot of interest or may be of specific interest to the coach or the client or if the topic is the fresh out of oven. For e.g. election candidates worldwide, sports

personalities, company politics/leadership shuffle/financial, organizational highlights for various reasons and so on.

It can be tempting to take sides/say yes to something but when you do, it also means that

you are saying no to something else.

About the Author

Sukh Mishra, PCC is the Principal Consultant, Founder and Executive Coach at Peer

Coaching India. She is a Mentor Coach, Coaching Program Instructor, Author, Researcher and Facilitator. Sukh is a Diploma holder in Training and Development from

ISTD, New Delhi and a Certified Practitioner of Neuro-Linguistic programming.



CONTRIBUTING COACH

Finding Meaning in Fear By Sandra Colhando, PCC

How many of us suffer from phobias? Are you aware you have a phobia? What is phobia, but

a conscious fear of an object/ situation which leads to avoidance. Most of us have some kind of phobia. Maybe its Atelophobia – fear of not being good enough (yes, I didn’t know we had a

fancy name for my fear) or Glossophobia – fear of public speaking or maybe Cherophobia – fear of being too happy because something bad will

happen. There are many phobias, you may not be even aware of in your personality. My point is Fear is a natural biological process,

one we can’t beat and should not! It’s there to protect us and serve its purpose of keeping us alive! If you look at it this way, it’s awesome we

have fear watching our back. Biological reason

Fear is a vital response to physical and emotional danger — if we didn't feel it, we couldn't protect ourselves from legitimate threats. Its hardwired in our brain for good

reasons. Fear is a chain reaction in the brain that starts with a stressful stimulus and ends with the release of chemicals that cause a

racing heart, fast breathing and energized muscles, among other things, also known as the fight-or-flight response. The stimulus could be a

spider, a gun on your head or an auditorium full of people waiting for you to speak. The brain is a profoundly complex organ. Nearly

a 100 billion nerve cells comprise an intricate network of communications that is the starting point of everything we sense, think and do.

Some of these communications lead to conscious thought and action, while others produce autonomic responses. The fear

response is almost entirely autonomic: We don't consciously trigger it or even know what's going on until it has run its course. Research has

discovered that certain parts of the brain play

central roles in the process: • Thalamus - decides where to send incoming

sensory data (from eyes, ears, mouth, skin) • Sensory cortex - interprets sensory data • Hippocampus - stores and retrieves conscious memories; processes sets of stimuli to establish

context • Amygdala - decodes emotions; determines possible threat; stores fear memories Hypothalamus - activates "fight or

flight" response Our sensory organs pass information to the thalamus, where signals split and trace two

separate paths on their way to the amygdala, the brain’s threat center. Following the low road, one signal manages to

sound the fear alarm before we’re even aware of the situation. The other reaches the sensory cortex a fraction of a second later, providing a

much clearer picture of the potential threat. The high road signal can reinforce the fear response or declare a false alarm. We have to react quickly to potential danger in order to stay safe.

Once the brain jump starts the fear response, it doesn’t take long for physiological changes to affect the entire body. Heart begins to beat



faster, breath shorten, stomach tightens, limbs ready for fight or flight.

Often, we fear situations that are far from life-or-death, and thus hang back for no good reason.

You don't need to be in danger to be scared. Fear is also part imagined, and so it can arise in the absence of something scary. In fact, because our brains are so efficient, we begin to

fear a range of stimuli that are not scary or not even present. Traumas or bad experiences can trigger a fear response within us that is hard to

quell. Yet accepting our personal demons is the best way to move past them. For me accepting and understanding fear was

my ticket to over powering it which gave me a sense of control in all the mayhem. To better understand fear, I put them in two categories, it

helps me detach and look at fear from where it stems (this does not include an actual life threat situation):

1. EXPERIENCED FEAR This fear comes when one has experienced trauma/ painful memories / loss at first hand.

Experienced fear has its roots in the PAST. An incident that caused a setback, an activity that has hurt us to the extent that we don’t want to

repeat that experience. It may have a strong hold on our personality and our outlook. This creates a Belief around similar situations and

this belief gets so ingrained that the body starts responding to escaping it in an auto mode. Scientists believe stress hormones released by

the fear system strengthen memory pathways in our brain, allowing us to easily recall memories of emotional experiences. They call these

“flashbulb memories.” For example, do you remember what you were doing when you heard the 9/11 news (or a terror attack near us), or the

death of a loved one, or experienced a bad accident? Memory is glued to emotion in things we’re supposed to remember. That’s why fear memories make our palms sweat. So, the main

idea in any number of fear-mastery techniques is to peel away the memory from the emotion.

Phobias can be formed through classical conditioning. Fear conditioning involves the

pairing of a stimulus with a response. Studies show a researcher can make a subject respond fearfully to a normally neutral stimulus. One of

the most famous examples of classical conditioning was John B. Watson's experiment in which a fear response was conditioned in a boy known as Little Albert. The child initially

showed no fear of a white rat, but after the rat was paired repeatedly with loud, scary sounds, the child would cry when the rat was present.

The child's fear also generalized to other fuzzy white objects. Such associations are reversible through a

process called ‘extinction’. In many cases, a single pairing of a neutral stimulus (a dog, for example) and a frightening experience (being

bitten by the dog) can lead to a lasting phobia (being afraid of dogs). With repeated exposure of the same subject with gentle, caring,

affectionate dogs can eventually dissociate the dog from the negative experience. Therapists use these techniques to help people cope with phobias.

Overcoming experienced fears is about getting beyond emotions and respecting the process. I

like to think it’s easier the more I do it, but I may carry them with me forever and that’s OK!

2. ANTICIPATORY FEAR This fear lives in the FUTURE. The anticipation of a threat can be as bad as the threat itself – in our mind! The good news is that it’s easier of the

two to work on. For many years especially during my initial career, my biggest fear was speaking in front of a group of people. The

thought of the prospect would make my hands sweat, my heart beat faster, stomach go woozy and stammer. I did the easy thing for many

years, avoid. Once you do that you realize you succumb to many other fears because that becomes your mode, until, you feel empty and incomplete.

Be Curious My fears are my greatest gifts! Once I turned around and faced them, acknowledged

their presence, asked what opportunity is



seeking me out behind this fear, what will it reveal about me; is when I truly began my

journey into transformation. Now when I mentally converted the Fear barricade to a bridge, I am more whole and complete! I feel

free and positive. Curiosity will conquer fear even more than bravery will.

Be Mindful It’s not the dragon that scares us, it’s our

response to the dragon. The trick, then, is to tame ourselves. Giving yourself the space to be aware and present to what you are feeling creates a healthy transitionary process. Being

mindful or meditative can allow the strong emotion to release or express itself.

US Marine training includes four-count “combat breathing” during stress & fear. Infantry Marines learned other tricks for hacking their fear

systems, including “nonjudgmentally paying attention” to passing thoughts and feelings.

The cure to the Past (Experienced fear) and Future (Anticipatory fear) lies in the Present, be

in the here and now. Fear is only as deep as the mind allows.

According to German neurobiologist Gerald Hüther; “Ironically our fears will in the end further our intellectual and emotional

development. When we have mastered a challenge and overcome our fears the brain triggers our reward system - leading to letting us feel stronger. And ultimately happier in knowing

that we can do it.” Until we let go of our fears, we don’t begin to

reach our potential capabilities.

About the Author

Sandra Colhando, PCC, is a Life & Leadership Coach with nearly two decades of professional experience in helping people attain maximum effectiveness. To create transformative shifts for her clients, Sandra uses Gestalt, Neuroscience and CBT methodologies in her coaching practice with senior leaders, entrepreneurs and women executives. She also facilitates Breakthrough T-group based workshops on Personal Excellence and is a TEDx speaker on Life skills motivation.



CONTRIBUTING COACH

Success Through The Arts By Aparna Apte Gupta

Most of our educational system has been

designed to cultivate the verbal, rational, on-

time left hemisphere, while half of our brain is

virtually neglected.

Whole-brain thinking is the need of the hour and

provides one with a strategic roadmap for

creativity, problem solving, innovation and

transformation. Right-brain imagination, artistry

and intuition, along with left-brain logic and

planning allows for the wholesome growth of a

person and therefore a company.

Through art-based activities, coachees learn

more about themselves, their values, and their

own identity. The process of art-making can be

used to develop creativity and innovation

capabilities within the individual and

organization. The outcomes are what we are

always trying to achieve in a coaching session.

My exercises

are designed to

effect shifts in

perception, help

people break

out of traditional

mindsets and

reframe their

world-view.

What Do I Mean

by “Art-

exercises”? Coaches are encouraged to use

various forms of the visual arts including

doodling, drawing, painting.

Art has a very clear benefit in the corporate

world of business, technology, finance, and

construction among others.

The process of creating art:

1. Allows one to embrace the unknown and

ambiguous. It gives the focus required to bring

infinite abstract thoughts into one creation. It

opens one`s mind towards finding relationships

between unrelated ideas and events; and

identify and use multiple creative thinking

techniques to generate ideas.

2. Makes one reliant on own experiences and

judgment. In art, the lack of a specific expected

result, forces one to manoeuvre around the

uncertainty, and therefore tune into one`s own

senses and develop confidence in one`s

instincts.

3. Gives the satisfaction of a job well-done.

Maslow`s Hierarchy Needs Law states that

every human being has a need to do a job that

brings personal satisfaction/ leads to self-

actualization. The joy of struggling with and

finally creating an artwork is beyond comparison.

As a by-product, art also teaches one how to

enjoy the journey, not just the destination.



4. Artists are generally forced to work within

constraints. The art exercises teach executives

to demonstrate resourceful and independent

behaviors.

5. Allows one to be spontaneous and natural,

true to one self, rather than being how others

want. The art-making process is a great tool to

help recognize when and how creativity is stifled

and be able to prevent this.

6. Allows enhanced observation, that is, more

seeing and, relatively speaking, less looking, is

an inevitable by-product of practicing the visual

arts.

Needless to say, creating art is a highly intense,

engaging, yet relaxing way to introspect.

In my work with engineering graduates, I’ve

noticed the shift in perception creates trust,

camaraderie, and a space for deep

conversation.

A shared art experience enhances one`s sense

of belonging and enriches conversation.

About the Author:

Aparna has 18 years of experience in the media and entertainment business

including communications and marketing roles. She has directed and produced

shows for various broadcasters like India’s national TV network Doordarshan,

Channel [V], Sony Entertainment Television, including niche channels like BBC

World and National Geographic Channel. She was Creative Head of the Branded

Content department at Zoom Television. She quit television and went on to pursue

her love for painting and working on specific art-commissions and exhibitions. She

applies art with coaching as a base for her clients. She also conducts Success Through the Arts

workshops at IIT-Delhi.



CONTRIBUTING COACH

Mind Your Mindset By Shyam Malhotra, PCC

Mindsets can be like bullies. They bother you till

you confront them. Then they go away. As

human beings we cannot operate without

mindsets. I have an open mind is also a way of

looking at things -- and hence a mindset. Hence

the need is to transition the negative,

discouraging, threatening mindsets to positive,

encouraging, supportive mindsets.

Like talents and abilities mindsets can also be

acquired, altered and transitioned. One way to

do so is to relentlessly question mindsets. The

‘bad’ mindsets have been formed by experience

and inputs over many years. Not all those

learnings were correct and not all those

experiences are now relevant. Yet they stay

with me like loyal but not useful friends. Asking

penetrating, thoughtful questions to the self is a

powerful tool to drive away these fault lines of

the mind.

Questions can help identify the mindsets that

need transition – and then assist in making the

transitions. Most of the questions are directed to

the self though I can use friends and family as

sounding boards too. I just need to make sure

that these are real sounding boards and not

echoing boards – people who agree with me

because it is comfortable to do so.

Some discomfort is natural to convert my

limiting thoughts to liberating ones. Am I willing

to go through that period?

The generic questions can be

- What is this mindset about? How can it

be described? Can I write in a few words? e.g. in my mind making a career transition is not for me

- Is this mindset supported by some real

data/facts/examples? Why? When did I last make a change? What was the difficulty? How people like me make

such changes? Do they succeed? - Is there any other interpretation possible

for these facts? Is it possible that the difficulties that I faced in the past may

not be true anymore? Is it possible that I am stronger and more equipped now?

- What is the mindset doing for me? What

am I gaining from it? What could I be losing? Not making the transition can expose me to risk of stagnation and

even termination. I am gaining short term comfort – is it realistic that this will remain?

- What would I lose if this mindset went

away? What could I gain? If I did start believing that I am as capable as anyone else to make a transition what would

change for me? What would I gain or lose?

There could be many more questions – but

these are enough to get my mind ticking.

Broadly there are two sides to every mindset the

limiting one and the liberating one.



Limiting mindsets are exemplified by

statements like

## I have tried everything ## I know this will not

happen ## First tell me what is the use of

changing things? ## I do not think I can change

now ## This old way is the best way forward ##

Experience is a great quality and I must always

respect it ## People do not understand how this

really works ## Quality of inputs is low these

days ## My team is pretty average I really need

to get some new people in ## Under the given

conditions I am doing the best.

Liberating mindsets are exemplified by

statements like

## What have I not yet tried? ## There is more

to be tried ## I cannot decide it will happen or

not till I have tried it ## Change is good for the

human body, mind and spirit ## Experience

must be honored not worshipped ## I may not

change but trying is a must ## Most people are

helpful and understanding ## I cannot control

what comes to me – I can impact what goes

from me ## I am doing my best. Now how can I

better that?

Which are the statements I associate with?

Which are the ones that I use frequently? That

can give me an idea about what kind of mind-

sets I normally work with. And give me the

power to confront them or modify them.

As an executive coach I come across typical

mind-sets that people operate with. More of that

soon.

About the Author Shyam blends in his coaching years of varied corporate experience, a passion for working with people & a process driven approach. He works with organization builders to support them with their goals of managing career progression & work life balance. Shyam has over 2500 hours of coaching experience with middle to senior level executives since 2007. He is a Professional Certified Coach (PCC). He has undergone coach training programs like Intensive Coach Training, Coaches Toolkit and Executive Coaching from Results Coaching Systems (resultscoaches.com). He is also a Certified Life Coach & an accredited

administrator for the MBTI suite of instruments.



CONTRIBUTING COACH

The Inner Game By Soumi Pal Basu

I happened to chance upon a beautiful quote

written by the Jamaican spiritual leader Mooji,

who profoundly talks about the process of Self-

Discovery – “Step into the fire of Self Discovery.

This fire will not burn you, it will only burn what

you are not.”

As I write down to share my own Inner game &

how I landed up in the profession of coaching, I

would humbly put that the process of self-

discovery is a beautiful transformational &

evolutionary journey. The intent of being a

leadership coach according to me was a natural

progression given my corporate experience of

13 years (Lucky for me!!!) in the field of Human

Resources. It sounds very exciting till now, but I

was in the midst of the most elusive phase of my

career. I was constantly questioning myself of

being worthy in my profession and having “Self-

Doubts”. In a company sponsored leadership

training program (2 years ago); I was given a

new lease of life. My trainer at the end of a 2-

day training program decided to spend some

exclusive moments with me to unearth my

strengths. I still thank my stars that she did.

Soon after, I discovered a whole new “Authentic

Me”. I learnt to be true to myself and started (still

continue to) the conversational process to

support myself by having wonderful coaches for

myself.

People are usually able to resolve their own

problems if given the space & encouragement

to think and talk about them. Coaching as a

process is simple and it is not just for problems.

Coaching helps to accentuate the optimum in

the person & a coach helps the individual to

believe in his/ her own latent potential. The

coach nurtures the coachee & helps display a

better performance.

The process of Coaching involves:

1. Being Non-Judgemental listener: Listening longer & more deeply without

giving advice/ directions. 2. Creating safe space : Trusting that

people can work out most situations on

their own if they have a safe place to express themselves.

3. Revealing the limiting perspective that is shaping our thinking and actions.

4. Gaining new levels of clarity that will lead to action

5. Observing our own thinking or having it

reflected back to us 6. Asking questions that spur new thinking

& options

7. Partnering with another person because no matter how good we are alone; we are better working within a supportive

relationship.

As a self-evaluation tool; try answering

these following questions:

▪ Are you ready & willing to allow

change in your life? ▪ What does your dream life look like? ▪ What are the things you are

tolerating in your life? ▪ Whom do you need to convince to

start living your dream life? ▪ How can you prepare for your

challenges your new life may bring in?

▪ What are the 3 things that you need

to change to become happier? ▪ How would you want to contribute to

your own happiness & living your life

fully? ▪ What are the Top 3 things of most

value to you?

I feel a good coaching conversation can

speed up the process of clearing negative



thoughts and feelings & deciding on a

constructive path forward with a purpose in

life. I found my purpose in life through the

process of coaching. Have you found

yours?

About the Author

A seasoned professional for 13 years, Soumi takes pride in associating herself with

the Human Resources function. She has worked with various organizations like Taj

group of Hotels, Indigo etc. Soumi is a certified Coach, who believes in doing

developmental work with women professionals and creating a conducive environment

for women professionals who want to plan a career transition from a mid-management

to senior management role or those who plan to make a comeback to the Corporate

Arena.



CONTRIBUTING COACH

From a life of compromise to inspiration and fulfilment

By Priyanka Dutta

One day after a hectic day at work, I sat down

for an honest talk with myself. I asked myself,

“What is it that I really wanted to do? Do I want

to spend the rest of my life doing what I was

doing? Am I really doing justice to the gifts that

I possessed? Have I explored my zone of

genius? Have I unleashed my truest potential?”.

All these questions fogged my mind and I was

so confused. A little voice inside me said, “You

haven’t explored yet. You are living in your

comfort zone. You are living a default life that

just happened.” And I just got blank. I was filled

with vacuum when I realised the truth. In this

humdrum existence, I had long back shunned

my power to create, my power to go beyond,

lean on the edge & create miracles. “You can

live an exponential life, what’s stopping you?!”,

screamed my inner self.

I tried to analyse and find answers to all these

questions. A part of me always knew what I

wanted, but many things held me back. Many a

times I externalised the reasons for my current

state of affair. Sometimes I blamed myself too.

Sometimes fear of the unknown held me back.

Sometimes fear of losing out on other aspects

haunted me. Other times it was my lack of

awareness & inaction which held me back. But,

after having an honest scrutiny of myself without

camouflaging any aspects, I realised that it was

nothing but my lack of real commitment to

anything that held me back. And the reason for

not being committed fully to anything was

because I wasn’t aware what I wanted to really

commit to.

As I pen down my vulnerable side, let me also

confess that at that time, I was seemingly

having a decent career as an HR professional,

a good family life and overall living a happy

normal life like everyone does, in fact to the

outer world it was like the greener pasture that

they secretly longed for. But, here I am talking

about GOING BEYOND; a life of deep self-

awareness, infinite possibilities & unravelling of

my innate gifts; thereby creating an exponential

life for myself & others too.

So, here I was soaking & basking with glory at

the same time with this awareness. Finally, I

could see the limiting belief that was holding me

back. “If I fulfil my deepest desires, secret

dreams; I will not have time for my loved ones,

for my family & for the people whom I cared.” So,

what I did was I compromised on my intrinsic

desires thinking that I am doing a great sacrifice.

But, alas I wasn’t doing good either to myself or

to any roles that I was donning.

When I come from a place of scarcity in

expression of my own gifts, genius; how can I

even function effectively in my other roles?!

Unknowingly, I was transferring this limiting

belief to my son too. It is rightly said that children

don’t do what they are told, but what they feel &

see for themselves. I was scared when I

realised what role model I was setting for my

child.

Two values went hand in hand for me: balance

& fulfilment. I was unable to figure out a path

that would provide me with both at the same

time. Law of attraction says you attract what you

think and belief.

A shift in mindset enabled things to fall in place.

I chose to travel the path of a coach. I still

remember my introductory lines while in the

coaching program: “I want to first experience

deep transformative coaching myself.

Thereafter, I will give this gift back to my clients

& serve them powerfully.” The journey to

transformation was a different experience



altogether. Every little step that I took led me

closer to self-growth. It opened the gates to

immense possibilities, abundance & miracles.

And today, here I am, a Life & Career Coach

supporting people to align with their unexplored

gifts, transform into their real being & live a life

not of compromise but of inspiration and

fulfilment.

About the Author

Priyanka Dutta is a Life & Career Coach, an ex-HR professional. She writes to inspire

& empower. She supports her clients to see & embrace the beauty within, explore their

zone of genius, be in sync with their innate gifts & thereby live a life of inspiration &

fulfilment.



THE LEARNING CONTINUES…

31st May 2018 1900 – 2030 IST Value and Benefits of ICF

Membership

Tracy Sinclair, PCC

Global Chair, International Coach Federation

For more details on this learning leap and all our other events please log onto www.icfdelhincrchapter.com and

write to [email protected] to get added to our mailing list

SHARE YOUR KNOWLEDGE

We hold a Learning Leap event (webinar) and a Coach Connect (face to face) each month for

our member coaches. If you’re interested in speaking at one of our events, please share your

profile, experience and write to [email protected] expressing your interest and

details of the topic.

REACH A LARGER AUDIENCE: LET’S GET ASSOCIATED

To discuss sponsoring our events, marketing your events/workshops and collaborating

with ICF Delhi NCR Chapter, you can write to Aditi Malhotra, Director – Marketing and

Communication, at [email protected]

This issue of Going Beyond has been edited for the ICF Delhi NCR Chapter by Aditi

Malhotra, our Director-Communication & Marketing.

http://www.icfdelhincrchapter.com/

mailto:[email protected]



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