IdentityIdentityIdentityIdentity

A Sense of Who You AreA Sense of Who You Are

What makes up your identity?

• Combination of personality, abilities, strengths, weaknesses, interests, and values

• Continually shaped by every experience• Never final• Ultimately a mystery• Composed of millions of bits of information

Why is it important to develop a sense of who

you are?• Helps us make better choices

– College– Career– Family

• Helps us deepen and develop our relationships

• Gives us a greater appreciation for ourselves and others

• Self-esteem: an understanding of our own worth and an attitude of cherishing ourselves

Story of Zach

• What are some of Zach’s personality traits?

• Which ones does Zach recognize?

• Which ones does Lisa draw out?

Knowing Yourself• What am I felling?

• What do I want?

• What are people telling me?

• What are my talents?

• What is out of my control? What is within my limited control?

What am I feeling?• What do you remember about feelings?

Feelings• Can be friends or dictators

• Do not let them take over

Make a list of 5 things that you really want either today or in

the near future.

What do you want?• Know wants and desires

• Need to know what we truly want

• Society constantly tells us what we want

• Forms our identity and shapes our life

Make a list of characteristics that you think teachers would

use to describe you.

• How does this make you feel?

• What do we need to do to change that?

What are people telling you?

• Relationships provide millions of pieces of data about you

• All of these pieces contribute to a sense of who you are

• Must examine what we learn about ourselves from others– Ex: wild trouble maker– Ex: Blue eyed/Brown eyed experiment

What are your talents?• Talent: ability or aptitude that has value

– Gift in the sense that you are born with it

• Not always physical or intellectual

• Can be aspects of our personality– Listening– Compassionate

What is out of our control?• The gifts/talents we are born with

• What we do with our talents is within our limited control

Certain factors that are out of our control

• Cosmic: born, die, natural disasters• Genetic: genes affect our appearance,

health, aptitudes, talents, personality traits• Cultural: family, country, region, particular,

religious, ethnic, economic setting• Circumstantial: major historic events,

accidents, chance meetings affect us, shape us

We have some control over how we respond to

these• Move with the grace of God

AutonomyAutonomyAutonomyAutonomy

The Ability to Shape Your Own LifeThe Ability to Shape Your Own Life

• Different from independence

• Rely on your judgment and competencies to make decisions

• Give and take

• Interdependence: a delicate blend of dependence and independence

False Autonomy• Groupthink: make a sharp break from

parents and take on practices and views of another group– Trading one form of dependency for

another

• “Jailbreak” pregnancy or marriage: may see these as ways to escape their family

Lessons of interdependence

• Learning to be strong enough to be sensitive to the needs of others

• Growing into a firm identity that sllows us to consider other points of view

• Becoming aware of our own resources• Recognizing that we sometimes need

help

Freedom• “Freedom is just another word for

nothing left to lose.”

• Who is the person in society who has nothing left to lose?

Christian Freedom• We can see the big picture beyond our

own narrow interests, and are able to respond to the needs of real situations and real people

• Include responsibility• We grow and express ourselves within

the context of others needs as well as our own

• Acting freely means that we consider the entire situation and respond according to the good for all

• Freedom is seen in the context of freedom from sin and freedom to love

Personal Power• The ability to influence our own life and

the people and events around us• Christians are meant to be powerful

people who empower others• We need power• The deprivation of power, can lead to

violence and tragedy