IMAGE GRAMMAR:Using Grammatical Structures to learn writing.Concept development/Author of material presented: Harry R. Noden

The Writer as ArtistBasic “brush strokes”

Concepts

1. The writer is an artist, painting images of life with specific and identifiable brush strokes.

2. Often unnoticed and unappreciated is a grammar of style, a combination of artistic techniques as worthy of respect and awe as museum canvas.

Concept of Writing as seeing.• Authors must develop a grammar of

style.• Development begins with learning to

literally and metaphorically see.• When there is a lack of visual eye in an

author the writing lacks soul and heart. Images lie lifeless like cadavers in a morgue.

No Visual Eye with this author. • It was winter. Everything was

frozen and white with snow. Snow had fallen from the sky for days. The winter was horrible.

• Compare this to the following example of good visual eye in writing.

Writing as Seeing: Good Writing as Seeing: Good ExampleExampleBy: Brian JacquesBy: Brian Jacques

““Mossflower lay deep in the grip of midwinter beneath a sky Mossflower lay deep in the grip of midwinter beneath a sky of laden gray that showed tinges of scarlet and orange on of laden gray that showed tinges of scarlet and orange on the horizon. A cold mantle of snow draped the landscape the horizon. A cold mantle of snow draped the landscape covering the flatlands to the west. Snow was everywhere, covering the flatlands to the west. Snow was everywhere, filling the ditches, drifting high against the hedgerows, filling the ditches, drifting high against the hedgerows, making paths invisible, smoothing the contours of earth in its making paths invisible, smoothing the contours of earth in its white embrace.” (5)white embrace.” (5)

Now consider what he did that makes this a good example.

What do you think?

What Jacques did well….What Jacques did well….

Use of details and color to tease the Use of details and color to tease the visual appetite.visual appetite.

Example one had an author who wrote Example one had an author who wrote like a house painter, ignoring details and like a house painter, ignoring details and using color to cover the surface.using color to cover the surface.

Jacques painted a picture with details Jacques painted a picture with details and created an image for the reader.and created an image for the reader.

Showing vs. TellingShowing vs. Telling

Readers want a picture, not just wordsReaders want a picture, not just words Amateur writers tell; professionals showAmateur writers tell; professionals show Good authors write with a “camera” not a Good authors write with a “camera” not a

pen.pen. Take a look at an example that shows the Take a look at an example that shows the

difference between showing and telling in difference between showing and telling in the frames that follow.the frames that follow.

Telling Example:Telling Example:

Take for example this simple sentence that Take for example this simple sentence that tells rather than shows.tells rather than shows.

Bill was nervous.Bill was nervous.

What does show us? Not much. It also What does show us? Not much. It also does not serve our imagination well, does not serve our imagination well, there is no visualization.there is no visualization.

Example of showing:Example of showing:

Bill sat in a dentist’s waiting room, peeling Bill sat in a dentist’s waiting room, peeling the skin at the edge of his thumb, until the skin at the edge of his thumb, until the raw, red flesh began to show. Biting the raw, red flesh began to show. Biting the torn cuticle, he ripped it away, and the torn cuticle, he ripped it away, and sucked at the warm sweetness of his sucked at the warm sweetness of his own blood.own blood.

Consider what you think is the difference between the two examples you have seen- showing and telling

What’s the difference?What’s the difference?

Showing engages the reader’s mind as an Showing engages the reader’s mind as an instrument for visualization. Telling instrument for visualization. Telling simply lulls a reader to sleep. If one simply lulls a reader to sleep. If one writes, “Ryan was tired” that leaves the writes, “Ryan was tired” that leaves the reader at a dead end; with no opportunity reader at a dead end; with no opportunity for imagination or envisioning.for imagination or envisioning.

Take a look at a good example of Take a look at a good example of showing.showing.

Mary shuffled into the kitchen, yawning and Mary shuffled into the kitchen, yawning and blinking. Collapsing into the char, she closed her blinking. Collapsing into the char, she closed her eyes, crossed her arms for a pillow, and slowly eyes, crossed her arms for a pillow, and slowly tucked her head into the fold.tucked her head into the fold.

This description paints detailed images and This description paints detailed images and compels the reader to participate by re-compels the reader to participate by re-creating the action on an imaginary mental creating the action on an imaginary mental screen. Nobody has to tell the reader that screen. Nobody has to tell the reader that mary is tired: The reader watches the images mary is tired: The reader watches the images unfold and makes conclusions much as she unfold and makes conclusions much as she or he would if the experience were real.or he would if the experience were real.

What does a well described work of What does a well described work of fiction, or non fiction do?fiction, or non fiction do?

Creates mental images like a film.Creates mental images like a film. Takes readers on a visual journey.Takes readers on a visual journey. Uses close ups, action scenes, and angle Uses close ups, action scenes, and angle

shots.shots. However creating art that shows requires However creating art that shows requires

more than visual awareness. What else more than visual awareness. What else cold there be?cold there be?

It Requires…..It Requires…..

Knowledge of techniqueKnowledge of technique Ability to select words like colors on a Ability to select words like colors on a

palette.palette. Apply structures like brush strokes to a Apply structures like brush strokes to a

verbal canvas.verbal canvas. Development of a image grammar Development of a image grammar

repertoire….Learning different “Brush repertoire….Learning different “Brush Strokes”Strokes”

Painting with 5 basic brush Painting with 5 basic brush strokes, or styles of strokes, or styles of grammar.grammar.

Paining with the participlePaining with the participle Painitng with the absolutePainitng with the absolute Painting with the appositivePainting with the appositive Painting with adjectives shifted out of Painting with adjectives shifted out of

orderorder Painting with action verbsPainting with action verbs

Brush Stroke 1: Brush Stroke 1: Painting with ParticiplesPainting with Participles

Elements of grammar can be used in Elements of grammar can be used in different ways, just like a painters brush different ways, just like a painters brush stroke gives a desired effect.stroke gives a desired effect.

First of all what is a participle?First of all what is a participle?

Participle: Simply defined a participle is an Participle: Simply defined a participle is an ing verb tagged on the beginning or end of ing verb tagged on the beginning or end of a sentence. a sentence. *some ed words are participles too, but *some ed words are participles too, but don’t worry about them right now.don’t worry about them right now.

Consider the following picture:Consider the following picture:

One author may say:One author may say:

The diamond-scaled snakes attacked The diamond-scaled snakes attacked their prey.their prey.

This image captures a little of what is This image captures a little of what is happening, but watch the effect happening, but watch the effect when the writer adds a few when the writer adds a few participles to the beginning of the participles to the beginning of the sentence:sentence:

Hissing, slithering, and Hissing, slithering, and coiling, the diamond scaled coiling, the diamond scaled

snakes eyed their preysnakes eyed their preyThe participles evoke action.The participles evoke action.

Suddenly readers can see the snakes Suddenly readers can see the snakes coiling and slithering. The added coiling and slithering. The added auditory detail of hissing makes auditory detail of hissing makes readers feel like part of the readers feel like part of the experience.experience.

Painting with Participle Phrases:Painting with Participle Phrases:

Participle Phrase: They still contain Participle Phrase: They still contain an ing verb, however they also an ing verb, however they also include any modifiers used to include any modifiers used to complete the image.complete the image.

““Hissing their forked red tongues and Hissing their forked red tongues and coiling their cold bodies, the diamond coiling their cold bodies, the diamond scaled snakes eyed their prey”.scaled snakes eyed their prey”.

Recap on Paining with Participles:Recap on Paining with Participles:

Both methods- several participles, or Both methods- several participles, or adding one or two participial phrases adding one or two participial phrases help paint more detailed pictures.help paint more detailed pictures.

Using single participles creates rapid Using single participles creates rapid movement, while expanded phrases movement, while expanded phrases add details at a slower, yet equally add details at a slower, yet equally intense pace.intense pace.

Try it on your own!Try it on your own!

The next few slides will be images.The next few slides will be images.

For each image I want you to write a For each image I want you to write a good descriptive sentence.good descriptive sentence.

Try to use the right amount of Try to use the right amount of participles to make your sentence participles to make your sentence interesting and action packed.interesting and action packed.

Cat

BOYBOY

Scuba DiverScuba Diver

SKY DIVERSKY DIVER

POLAR BEARPOLAR BEAR

22ndnd Brush Stroke Brush StrokePainting with AbsolutesPainting with Absolutes

Absolute- An absolute is a two-word Absolute- An absolute is a two-word combination made up of a noun and an ing combination made up of a noun and an ing or ed verb added to a sentence*.or ed verb added to a sentence*.

Once again focus on ing verbs, we’ll worry Once again focus on ing verbs, we’ll worry about ed verbs later.about ed verbs later.

Instead of saying…. “The cat Instead of saying…. “The cat climbed the tree.”climbed the tree.”

- You can add two absolutes to give it detail.You can add two absolutes to give it detail.

- Claws digging, feet kicking, the cat climbed Claws digging, feet kicking, the cat climbed the tree. the tree.

- Either way the cat makes it up the tree, but Either way the cat makes it up the tree, but in the 2in the 2ndnd example he does it with flare and example he does it with flare and the dog chasing him is amazed!the dog chasing him is amazed!

Close your eyes and Listen only…Close your eyes and Listen only…

I want you to picture a mountain climber I want you to picture a mountain climber moving along a steep cliff. moving along a steep cliff.

Visualize this sentence: “ The mountain Visualize this sentence: “ The mountain climber edged along the cliff.”climber edged along the cliff.”

Listen with the added brush stroke of Listen with the added brush stroke of absolute- a noun coupled with a participle.absolute- a noun coupled with a participle.

Eyes still closedEyes still closed

Watch what happens as I add 2 absolutes.Watch what happens as I add 2 absolutes.

The mountain climber edged along the cliff, hands The mountain climber edged along the cliff, hands shaking, feet trembling.shaking, feet trembling.

Reverse order works tooReverse order works too

Hands shaking, feet trembling, the mountain Hands shaking, feet trembling, the mountain climber edged along the cliff.climber edged along the cliff.

Be careful of overdoing it!Be careful of overdoing it!

Although adding three absolutes overloads the Although adding three absolutes overloads the picture and deminishes effect, one or two creates picture and deminishes effect, one or two creates a far more dynamic image than the original.a far more dynamic image than the original.

As with participles, absolute phrases are also As with participles, absolute phrases are also effective. effective.

Feet trembling on the snow covered rocks, the Feet trembling on the snow covered rocks, the mountain climber edged along the cliff.mountain climber edged along the cliff.

Purpose/Effect on the ReaderPurpose/Effect on the Reader

Imagine for a second that the comma in a Imagine for a second that the comma in a sentence is the control switch for telescopic lens sentence is the control switch for telescopic lens on a camera that zooms in on images.on a camera that zooms in on images.

Begin with the sentence: The rhapis palm sat in a Begin with the sentence: The rhapis palm sat in a large, white container.large, white container.

Writers can zoom in on any part of the picture that Writers can zoom in on any part of the picture that is already framed in the original sentence. is already framed in the original sentence.

You have 2 choices from that You have 2 choices from that sentence:sentence:

1 you could focus on the palm1 you could focus on the palm

2 you could focus on the container2 you could focus on the container

All you have to do is pick an object of All you have to do is pick an object of interest and twist your zoom lens by using a interest and twist your zoom lens by using a comma, and adding your absolute.comma, and adding your absolute.

Notice how much different this Notice how much different this sounds!sounds!

The rhapis palm sat in a large, white container, the The rhapis palm sat in a large, white container, the branches stretching into the air as if trying to reach branches stretching into the air as if trying to reach into the sky.into the sky.

The author places a comma after container and The author places a comma after container and chooses to focus in on the detailed visual element chooses to focus in on the detailed visual element of the branches.of the branches.

Writers can choose to telescope in on details at Writers can choose to telescope in on details at the beginning or the end of a sentece.the beginning or the end of a sentece.

Look how Anne Rice uses this stroke Look how Anne Rice uses this stroke in “The Mummy” when discussing in “The Mummy” when discussing

the arm of the mummy.the arm of the mummy.

The mummy was moving. The mummy’s right arm The mummy was moving. The mummy’s right arm was outstretched, the torn wrappings hanging from was outstretched, the torn wrappings hanging from it, as the being stepped out of its gilded box! The it, as the being stepped out of its gilded box! The scream froze in her throat. The thing was coming scream froze in her throat. The thing was coming towards her-towards Henry, who stood with his towards her-towards Henry, who stood with his back to it- moving with a weak, shuffling gait, that back to it- moving with a weak, shuffling gait, that arm outstretched before it, the dust rising from the arm outstretched before it, the dust rising from the rotting linen that covered it, a great smell of dust rotting linen that covered it, a great smell of dust an decay filling the room. (72)an decay filling the room. (72)

Now you try it!!Now you try it!!

View the following slides and for each one View the following slides and for each one record a sentence where you use the brush record a sentence where you use the brush stroke of painting with grammatical stroke of painting with grammatical absolutes.absolutes.

Have fun and be creative with these if you Have fun and be creative with these if you like. One of the most common strokes in like. One of the most common strokes in action sequences of fiction, the absolute action sequences of fiction, the absolute infuses action into a word painting.infuses action into a word painting.

Guitarist

Home

Fisherman

BARN

SINGER

33rdrd Brush Stroke: Painting with Brush Stroke: Painting with Adjectives Shifted Out of Order.Adjectives Shifted Out of Order.

Usually used in fictional writing.Usually used in fictional writing.

This stroke amplifies the details of an This stroke amplifies the details of an image.image.

It is easy to “overdo” this brush It is easy to “overdo” this brush stroke.stroke.

Try not to “overdo” this stroke: Try not to “overdo” this stroke: below is an example of poor usebelow is an example of poor use

The large, red-eyed, angry bull The large, red-eyed, angry bull moose charged the intruder.moose charged the intruder.

Professional writers rarely commit Professional writers rarely commit this error, however students commit this error, however students commit this error often.this error often.

How can you avoid this?How can you avoid this?

When stacking an image with 3 When stacking an image with 3 adjective, they avoid a three-in-a-row adjective, they avoid a three-in-a-row string by using a technique called string by using a technique called Adjectives out of order.Adjectives out of order.

Leaving one adjective in its original Leaving one adjective in its original place the authors shift two others to place the authors shift two others to come after the use of the main noun.come after the use of the main noun.

Example of how this is done.Example of how this is done.

A professional writer may use the following A professional writer may use the following sentence rather than the original example.sentence rather than the original example.

The large bull moose, red-eyed and angry, The large bull moose, red-eyed and angry, charged the intruder.charged the intruder.

This effect creates a spotlight and intensifies the This effect creates a spotlight and intensifies the image giving it good rhythm rather than the image giving it good rhythm rather than the cadence sound of the original example.cadence sound of the original example.

More examples of effective use.More examples of effective use.

1.1. The Pavilion was a simple city, long The Pavilion was a simple city, long and rectangular.and rectangular.

2.2. I could smell Mama, crisp and I could smell Mama, crisp and starched, plumping my pillow for starched, plumping my pillow for me before bed.me before bed.

View the following 4 pictures.View the following 4 pictures.

1.1. First view the picture and create a First view the picture and create a sentence of detail about it in your sentence of detail about it in your mind.mind.

2.2. Be sure to use adjectives shifted out Be sure to use adjectives shifted out of order to add the desired effect. of order to add the desired effect.

Old WomanOld Woman

ClownClown

KickboxingKickboxing

Kangaroo BoxingKangaroo Boxing

Here are my sentences for each.Here are my sentences for each.

1.1. The woman, old and wrinkled, looked The woman, old and wrinkled, looked with pride at her land.with pride at her land.

2.2. The clown, painted and silly, tried to The clown, painted and silly, tried to amuse the children.amuse the children.

3.3. The kick boxer, tormented and twisted, The kick boxer, tormented and twisted, felt no compassion for his contender.felt no compassion for his contender.

4.4. Irritated and confused, the angry Irritated and confused, the angry kangaroo attacked the unsuspecting kangaroo attacked the unsuspecting hiker.hiker.

44thth Brush Stroke: Painting with Brush Stroke: Painting with appositives.appositives.

What is an appositive?What is an appositive?

Appositive- a noun that adds a second Appositive- a noun that adds a second image to a preceding noun. Like an image to a preceding noun. Like an absolute, the appositive expands details absolute, the appositive expands details in the reader’s imagination.in the reader’s imagination.

Here is a good example of appositive Here is a good example of appositive use.use.

Appositive Example- Start with the Appositive Example- Start with the sentence: sentence:

The raccoon enjoys eating turtle eggs.The raccoon enjoys eating turtle eggs.

As an artist you can paint a more As an artist you can paint a more detailed picture when you add detailed picture when you add another noun to enhance the image.another noun to enhance the image.

The raccoonThe raccoon, a scavenger, , a scavenger, enjoys enjoys eating turtle eggs.eating turtle eggs.

Appositives: Authors PurposeAppositives: Authors PurposeUse again: The raccoon, a scavenger, enjoys turtle Use again: The raccoon, a scavenger, enjoys turtle

eggs.eggs.

Scavenger- follows raccoon in the Scavenger- follows raccoon in the sentence; it’s set off with commas, sentence; it’s set off with commas, and enriches the image of your and enriches the image of your “painting”. “painting”.

To add more vivid details, authors will To add more vivid details, authors will often use the appositive phrase. often use the appositive phrase.

Appositive PhraseAppositive Phrase

Appositive phrase- a noun and all the Appositive phrase- a noun and all the words that describe it that comes words that describe it that comes immediately after the use of another immediately after the use of another noun.noun.

The appositive phrase is used to The appositive phrase is used to rename and add a vivid picture about rename and add a vivid picture about the original noun. These can be very the original noun. These can be very effective.effective.

Appositive Phrase Example: Appositive Phrase Example: The raccoon, a midnight scavenger who The raccoon, a midnight scavenger who roams lake shorelines in search of food, roams lake shorelines in search of food,

enjoys eating turtle eggs.enjoys eating turtle eggs.

In this example we used the same original In this example we used the same original sentence, the same original appositive, and sentence, the same original appositive, and additional words to aid in painting a vivid additional words to aid in painting a vivid picture. picture.

They often used in non fiction to add clarity, They often used in non fiction to add clarity, and they can be used in both fiction and and they can be used in both fiction and non fiction to provide sensory details. non fiction to provide sensory details.

Appositive PracticeAppositive Practice

In the following 4 pictures you will In the following 4 pictures you will create a sentence that uses the create a sentence that uses the appositive correctly.appositive correctly.

Record it on your notes for class and Record it on your notes for class and each of us will share an example to each of us will share an example to ensure understanding. ensure understanding.

VOLCANOVOLCANO

The volcanoThe volcano, a ravenous demon of , a ravenous demon of fire,fire, spewed forth lava and spewed forth lava and ash across the mountain.ash across the mountain.

WarriorWarrior

The warriorThe warrior, a brave and fierce killer,, a brave and fierce killer, led his led his kinsmen into battle to protect their kinsmen into battle to protect their homeland.homeland.

WaterfallWaterfall

The waterfallThe waterfall, a tilted pitcher,, a tilted pitcher, poured poured the into the pool and sprayed cool the into the pool and sprayed cool mist into the air.mist into the air.

Shark BaitShark Bait

The great white sharkThe great white shark, nature’s perfect hunting , nature’s perfect hunting machine,machine, can smell blood in the water from can smell blood in the water from extraordinary distances.extraordinary distances.

55thth Brush Stroke: Painting with Brush Stroke: Painting with action verbs.action verbs.

By eliminating the passive voice and By eliminating the passive voice and reducing being verbs (am, is, are, was, reducing being verbs (am, is, are, was, were, be, being been, and more), were, be, being been, and more), writers can energize action images.writers can energize action images.

Passive verbs communicate no actionPassive verbs communicate no action The image is frozen with the The image is frozen with the

prepositions by or with. Typically prepositions by or with. Typically passive verbs require help of a being passive verbs require help of a being verb. verb.

The following sentences are The following sentences are passive sentences.passive sentences.

1.1. The runaway horse was ridden into The runaway horse was ridden into town by an old, white whiskered town by an old, white whiskered rancher.rancher.

2.2. The grocery store was robbed by two The grocery store was robbed by two men.men.

Each of these are passive, they have no Each of these are passive, they have no action in them.action in them.

Compare these sentences to the Compare these sentences to the originals and notice how the action originals and notice how the action

improves the sentences.improves the sentences.

1.1. The old, white whiskered rancher The old, white whiskered rancher rode the runaway horse into town.rode the runaway horse into town.

2.2. Two armed men robbed the grocery Two armed men robbed the grocery store.store.

Can you see how these show action Can you see how these show action rather than tell about action?rather than tell about action?

Why avoid being verbs?Why avoid being verbs?

Even when they’re not used as part of Even when they’re not used as part of the passive voice, being verbs slow the passive voice, being verbs slow action and tend to link to compliments action and tend to link to compliments that tell.that tell.

Often times you can dismiss being verbs Often times you can dismiss being verbs by adding an appositive. by adding an appositive.

See how this is done in the next slide.See how this is done in the next slide.

Original Sentence: Original Sentence: The Nerk Knocker is a strange The Nerk Knocker is a strange

mechanical contraption. It brews coffee while beating a drum solo.mechanical contraption. It brews coffee while beating a drum solo.

When the being verb, is, gets eliminated the action When the being verb, is, gets eliminated the action becomes much more powerful.becomes much more powerful.

The Nerk Knocker, a strange mechanical The Nerk Knocker, a strange mechanical contraption, brews coffee while beating a drum contraption, brews coffee while beating a drum solo.solo.

Action verbs replace still photos with motion Action verbs replace still photos with motion pictures. With a little bit of creativity an author pictures. With a little bit of creativity an author can make inanimate objects come to life by can make inanimate objects come to life by adding an action verb.adding an action verb.

Example of being verb changed to Example of being verb changed to an action verb.an action verb.

Being Verb: Being Verb:

The gravel road The gravel road waswas on the left side of on the left side of the barn.the barn.

Action Verb:Action Verb:

The gravel road The gravel road curledcurled around the left around the left side of the barn.side of the barn.

Try it on your own.Try it on your own.

Change the following paragraph into one Change the following paragraph into one that contains zero passive voice verbs.that contains zero passive voice verbs.

Rockwell was a beautiful lake. Geese Rockwell was a beautiful lake. Geese could be heard across the water sounding could be heard across the water sounding like broken trumpets. Near shore, two like broken trumpets. Near shore, two children were hidden behind a massive children were hidden behind a massive maple tree. Watching quietly, they hoped maple tree. Watching quietly, they hoped to see the first gosling begin to hatch. to see the first gosling begin to hatch. Tiny giggles were heard as they watched Tiny giggles were heard as they watched happily.happily.

Here’s how I did it.Here’s how I did it.

Rockwell lake echoed with the Rockwell lake echoed with the sounds of geese. Their honking sounds of geese. Their honking sounded across the water like broken sounded across the water like broken trumpets. Two children hid behind a trumpets. Two children hid behind a massive maple. Watching and massive maple. Watching and hoping, they excitedly waited to see hoping, they excitedly waited to see the first gosling hatch. the first gosling hatch.

Remember….Remember….

Sometimes passive voice is proper, Sometimes passive voice is proper, epically if you want to show a passive epically if you want to show a passive mood and slow your pace of writing. mood and slow your pace of writing.

If you have trouble replacing the passive If you have trouble replacing the passive verb, it may belong there.verb, it may belong there.

Always be sure to limit their use, but Always be sure to limit their use, but that does not mean to eliminate them that does not mean to eliminate them totally.totally.