in memory of sangarapillai kanapathypillai

8/13/2019 In Memory of Sangarapillai Kanapathypillai

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Njhw;wk;: 20.08.1929kiwT: 13.12.2013

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8/32

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irt rkaj;jpy;,j;jifa gpd;dzp nfhz;ltUf;F Kd;dhy;irtj;jpd;

mupr;RtbNa njupahj ehd;rw;Wf; $dpf;FWfpf; nfhz;Nld;. ,Ug;gpDk;

irtk;vdf;F #dpak;vd;whYk;vdJ mg;ghTk;kl;Lefu; = tPufj;jpg;

gps;isahu; Myaj;jpd;tz;zf;fu;vd;W $wpitj;J vd;id ehNd

Rjhfupj;Jf;nfhz;Nld;.

md;wpy;,Ue;J njhlq;fpa vkJ re;jpg;G ve;jtpj jlq;fYkpd;wp tpupe;J

tsu;e;J> ,Wjpapy;2013 khu;fop nts;spf;fpoik 13k;jpfjp Kw;Wg;ngw;wJ.

vdJ je;ijahUk;> khkdhUk;mtutu;Fzhjpraq;fspy; ,U JUtq;fs;

vd;Nw nrhy;yyhk;. vdJ je;ij xU tplhf;nfhz;lu; vd;why; vdJ khkh

vjpYNk gpbg;gw;wtu;. tpl;Lf;nfhLg;gijNa tho;f;ifahf nfhz;ltu;.

filrp thu;j;ij jd;thu;j;ijahfNt ,Uf;f Ntz;Lk; vd;W tpUk;gpatu;

vd;idg;ngw;W vLj;jtu;. Mdhy;ehd;VjhtJ nrhd;dhy;kw;wtu;kdJ

Gz;gl;L tpLNkh vd;W gae;jtu;vd;kidtpiag;ngw;W vLj;jtu;.

,t;thW gy cjhuzq;fs;nrhy;yyhk;. Mdhy; mtu;fs;,UtUk;

re;jpf;Fk;Nghjy;yhk; xUtiu kw;wtu;kdjhu Nerpj;jYk;> Gfo;e;J

nfhz;lJk; xU Mr;rupaNk!

flik> fz;zpak;> fl;Lg;ghL> Neu;ik> nra;Ak;njhopNy nja;tk; vd;W

gy Fzhjpaq;fis nfhz;ltu;cdJ khkdhu;. Mifahy; mtu;kdJ

Gz;gLk;tifapy; xU ehSk;ele;JtplhNj> vd;W vdJ mg;gh vdf;F

mbf;fb $Wthu;. Kd;Nfhgk;nfhz;l cd;id vd;d nrhy;ypj;jhd;

rkhspf;fpwhu;fNsh vd;W vdJ mg;gh Mjq;fg;gl;l ehl;fSk;cz;L.

,q;F vd;kdij njhl;ltplak;vd;dntd;why;> jdJ jpUthiaj;jpwe;J

,tu;ey;y kdpjd; vd;W vdJ je;ijahu;$wpa xNu xU [Ptd;vdJ

khkdhu;kl;Lk;jhd;vd;W nrhd;dhy; mJ kpifahfhJ.


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[ 13 ]

xU ey;y gps;isia ngw;W vLj;J> mtiu vdf;F kidtpahf

jhiu thu;j;Jf; nfhLj;J> gpd;dhu;mjd;%yk; ehd;ed;kf;fisAk;>

Ngug;gps;isiaAk;ngw;W vLf;f Muk;g topNfhypahf ,Ue;j cq;fSf;Fvt;thW ehd;ifkhW nra;Ntd; vd;W Vq;fpa ehl;fs;Kbtila

Kd;dNu> ePq;fs;rptgjk;mile;jJ nfhLik!

mjdpDk;nfhLik cq;fis kuzg;gLf;ifapy;ghu;f;Fk;ghtj;ij ehd;

nra;jJ!

mjdpDk;nfhLik> cq;fs;rptpifia ehDk;Rkf;f ePq;fs;top

gz;zpaJ. rpy flikfs;nfhLikfshf khwpahJ ehd; nra;j ghtNkh>

ahdwpNad;guhguNd!

fle;j 36 tUlq;fshf vd;Dld;gupr;rakhfp gpd;du;vdJ ngw;Nwhu;>

rNfhjuu;fSlDk;gupr;rakhfp vq;fs;vy;Nyhu;kdjpYk;ePq;fhj

,lk;ngw;w vdJ khkdhu;mkuu;fzgjpg;gps;is mtu;fis ehDk;vdJ

rNfhjuu;fSk; ,iwtdb mtu; Nru tho;j;jp tzq;FfpNwhk;.

Fkhu; =];fe;jh + rNfhjuu;fs;

jhkiuf;Nfzp> kl;lf;fsg;G


14/32

[ 14 ]

Translation by Rev Dr G.U. Pope:

Who shares domestic life, by household virtues graced,

Shall, mid the Gods, in heaven who dwell, be placed.

He who on earth has lived in the conjugal state as he should live, will be placed

among the Gods who

dwell in heaven.


15/32

[ 15 ]

Memories of Pappa

My earliest memories of Pappa are hazy, faded snapshots a brief moment

at a sun-filled, sea-side Colombo park, or sitting with the newspaper together inour Dehiwala house. Later: Pappa giving me math lessons in my uncles home in

Scarborough and instilling in me a confidence in my own abilities that carried me

through 20 years of formal education. There were visits, too many to mention, at

the home they shared with my aunt and uncle in Markham tea and coffee, bis-

cuits, laughter, a feeling of being loved without reservation.

And then there were the years when I was away, through university, then medi-

cal school, then more training. There were a few moments on the phone together

How are you keeping, Harshi? When I was pregnant, I presented him and my

grandmother a picture frame for a new baby, their great-grandchild. Months later,

he helped me wrap sweets to give away at my baby shower.This past summer, as he grew more frail, every outing became momentous. At

my familys cottage in Balsam Lake, he walked from the house to the field, wanting

to look at the crops himself. It took him a long time to do it, with stops for a rest

along the way. My brother drove him back in the car. I dont think he walked that

distance ever again.

I dont know where Pappa found the strength to carry himself in the way that

he did. I cannot recall him raising his voice at me, even once. I dont know what ex-

periences or memories he considered significant in his own life. But, he had many

titles and roles and the only one I knew him as was grandfather. He was a model

that I was lucky to have. I hope I can live in a manner he would be proud of dig-

nified and dutiful, while taking care of my family, working hard in my profession,

and raising a daughter the way he and my grandmother raised their four children.

And in doing so, I carry on his memory.

- Harshi

Harshini Sriskanda:

HOMAGE

From Grandchildren


16/32

[ 16 ]

Letter to PappaDear Pappa,I wasnt going to contribute to this volume initially. I didnt really feel worthy.

Indeed, I had a very different experience of your death than most of those presentat the funeral. I dont have pictures of you carrying me as a child. I dont have pic-tures with you as a confident and thoughtful young man. My grief doesnt compareto Harshis or your other grandchildren, and doesnt compare to mamis or yourother children. It also certainly comes nowhere close to Ammas overwhelmingemotion a sadness barely palpable to me, because her love for you is older than

the years I have been alive. I must confess that I neither knew what to say nor howto comfort her. So, I resorted to gently rubbing her back in silence, and hoped oth-ers had the right words to whisper to her in between sobs.

When I say that I had a very different experience of your death, I dont mean tosay that I will not miss you. Its just different. I did not know my grandparents allfour of them died when I was either too young to remember them or too selfish tounderstand the value of family. You and Amma were the only grandparents I had,and I was happy to share you, albeit in a second-hand kind of way, with Harshi andothers. I enjoyed the conversations we used to have at the dinner table too few inretrospect about your time in Colombo, the discrimination you experienced, andyour thoughts on Tamil politics.

Hearing your perspective was always a treat for me, because it added life to aperiod I only read about.

Towards the end, the difficulty with which you carried on a normal conversationwere all signs that the Pappa we knew had already faded into the background. Forsomeone like yourself, who prided himself on self-reliance and independence, I canimagine how difficult it must have been to be dependent on others.

This is why I was initially happy when I heard that you had passed away. Itsounds weird to hear, I know. But, towards the end of your life I got the distinctimpression that you were ready to move on. You often wavered between wantingto stay and watch Avandhi grow, to having had enough. So, while I knew how bigof a loss it would be for your family, and while I knew it saddened you to no end

knowing that you would not be around to see Avandhi grow into a young woman, Ialso knew that you were growing tired and weary of your time here. And so, I washappy for you at least a little. And over time, perhaps it will be this happiness thatcomes to fill the void that you have left behind.

Goodbye Pappa. You will be missed. Amar

Amarnath Amarasingam:


17/32

[ 17 ]

Forever grateful

Dear Pappa,

I have not forgotten and will likely never forget the many memories we shared

together from 1991 to December 2013 while we lived in Canada.

I still remember sitting at the dining table in apartment 810 at 1580 Sandhurst

Circle for my weekly math lesson from you. I remember you teaching me there is 6

zeroes in a million - a couple weeks later at a family gathering you would ask me -

Aiyah, how many zeroes in a million?!. Years later when I took a business course

in high school you would help me with basic principles of accounting and work-ing with balance sheets. You were always there as my go-to person for math and

accounting related questions. Even in your later years you would want to know all

the financial details of soybean farming. I would want to tell you just so I could ask

if you had any creative accounting practices to avoid paying excessive amounts in

tax. Yes, I still remember you telling me that trying to avoid tax is a risky business.

I also remember asking you if my dog Shirah could be declared as a dependant for

tax purposes - you just gave me your usual smile and laugh. I miss seeing you smile

and laugh like that.

When I began my B.A. at Windsor you were there every step of the way to

make sure I would pursue a law degree after graduating. When Ifi

nished at Wind-sor in 2010 you were excited to see the degree and it wasnt too long afterwards you

asked me so when are you applying to law school?.

I certainly hope I made you proud by pursuing a law degree. When I made the

decision to move to England you were probably the most excited out of every-

one. While I was there we would talk once a week about how courses were going

and how living in England was like. When I came back for Christmas vacation we

would talk about constitutional law, the law of evidence and the law of trusts &

equity, which you said you found very interesting and which I found boring and

difficult.

Pappa, you and Amma were always there for me no matter what. I am forever

grateful to have had your blessings and support throughout my life. Thinking aboutyou forever and always.

Love,

Varun

Varun Sriskanda:


18/32

[ 18 ]

We will continue to learn from you inthe years to come

My name is Anushi, and I am one of Mr. Kanapathypillais granddaughters. I

am here to share a few words about my grandfather, who, as most of you know, we

have always affectionately called Pappa.

I have been lucky because for most of my life, Pappa has lived right across the

hall from me. Pappa and my grandmother, who we call Amma, moved in with me

and my parents when I was two years old, and lived with us ever since.

Like many grandparents, Pappa was always full of stories. I would like to share

with you what I have learned about him over the years. As a child, he was remark-

ably clever. If you asked him, just months ago, he could still happily recount the

high scores he achieved on all his major exams. He loved to sing, and it was in the

assembly lines at school, chanting thevarams, where he first crossed paths with my

grandmother.

At home, he was a deeply respected older brother to four siblings. The younger

generation of our family was lucky to catch a glimpse of this earlier in the year,

when Pappas youngest brother visited from Australia. The brothers had not seen

each other in over twenty years. On the day Pappas brother arrived, you could feel

the excitement. I remember my cousin Praveen and I racing behind Pappas brotheras he raced his way toward Pappas room for the first time. We were so eager to see

the look on Pappas face. Of course, he lit up instantly, and his brother was barely

able to sit down they were both so happy to see each other.

Pappa was also an incredibly devoted husband. I always knew this, but it really

struck me some years back, when we threw a surprise party for his fiftieth anniver-

sary with Amma. Shortly after we garlanded the happy couple, Pappa treated us to a

heartfelt speech. He told us openly, passionately and in front of no small crowd

about just how much he loved our grandmother. He admitted that as a young man

working in Sri Lanka, when he travelled from Jaffna to Colombo without Amma,

little traces of her around the house would make him weep when he missed her.Nothing has changed from those days, and as time passed, it became increasingly

rare to see Pappa without Amma by his side. He was an equally dedicated father,

my mother has told me, chasing every last mosquito out of her room at night so

she could study comfortably as a child.

Over the past few days, I have been thinking about my own relationship with

Pappa. One of the most special things about our bond is how much we enjoyed

Anushini Sivarajah:


19/32

[ 19 ]

learning from each other. When I was in high school, we would spend our morn-ings dividing up our favourite sections of the newspaper. He always made sure

I read the world news. Once, as a gift, he presented me with a dictionary, and he

quickly became one of its most frequent users. He often stopped by my room to

discuss with me the new words he had heard on TV or had seen in the newspaper.

He would tell me what he thought these words meant and he was usually right

but would still insist that we look them up together. It was so important to him to

understand things correctly and precisely. I loved that about him, and strived to be

the same.

Over the years, I have faced decisions that are little more serious than choos-

ing the right section of the newspaper to read, and Pappa has always beenfi

ercelyin support of keeping me happy. I am thankful to have had someone as good and

wise as Pappa by my side. He brought great warmth to our lives, and no day at

home was complete without paying a visit to his room. My sister Vishalini, who

was unable to join us today, asked me to share a few words about this. She wrote,

some of my best memories were definitely as a child, when Pappa would babysit

me, before I started going to school. I would always feel so comfortable going to

his room to talk to him. When I was very young, he always made me laugh during

these visits. When I was older, he would teach me math, spelling, and many other

things and when I was even older, these visits were the best thing to have after

coming home for weekends from Hamilton.

Ever since I can remember, Pappa and Amma have played an important role

in raising me, my sister and our cousins Harshi, Varun, Praveen, Harrish and

Danesh. Maybe its selfish, but Pappa, I wish we could have kept you for a few

more years. There is so much more that I wish you could have seen us achieve.

Your excitement, your curiosity and your interest in our lives has always been one

of our greatest blessings. We already miss you so much. You have taught us the

most beautiful lessons about love through your roles as a husband, father, grandfa-

ther and brother and though you have had to leave us, we will continue to learn

from you in the years to come. I am grateful to have known you this well and for

this long. I love you Pappa. Rest in peace.

- Anushi

(Text was read by Anushi on Monday, December 16, 2013 during the visitation hours at

Highland Funeral Home)


20/32

[ 20 ]

I cannot completely believe it

Before I started going to school, Amma and Pappamy grandparentswould

baby-sit me during the day while my parents were at work and while my sister was

at school. They would also baby-sit my younger cousin Praveen, and so Amma

and Pappa would split up to take turns baby-sitting each of us at our own houses.

When Pappa baby-sat me, we would often sit upstairs in his room and would

talk, read and laugh together. Of course, I was very attached to both Amma and

Pappa, but I have a very distinct memory of quietly going up to my parents room

one evening and watching Pappa leave to go to Praveens house for baby-sitting. Iwas sad to watch him go even though I knew I would see him again the next day.

I am fortunate in that I have lived in the same house as Pappa since I was born.

For as long as I can remember, he was always there. As a child, I would go to his

room to ask him for help with my math homework when I just could not figure

out how to do two-digit multiplication problems. He explained the concepts and

patiently sat with me, despite my tears and slowness, until I understood how to do

the problems on my own. I was also there to help him whenever he needed my

assistance, whether it was looking up a word in the dictionary, performing a google

search to find out about something he read in the paper, or bringing the lunch

Amma prepared for him upstairs during the days he could not walk to the kitchen.I have been able to share my successes and failures with him, and received warm

praises or words of encouragement. I have been lucky enough to talk to Pappa ev-

eryday before I went to university. After I went away for school, I was still lucky to

see and talk to him each day I was home. I had always assumed that Pappa would

be there, and now that he is gone, I cannot completely believe it. Sometimes I find

myself thinking that hes in his room, sleeping or watching the news.

Sometimes I find myself thinking hes out visiting my aunts and uncles, and that

hell be home soon. At times like these, I think back to when I would watch Pappa

leave through my parents bedroom window, clinging on to the thought that he

would be back the next day in order to stop myself from feeling sad.

Pappa, I hope we may see each other sometime soon. I miss you.

- Vish

Vishalini Sivarajah:


21/32

[ 21 ]

P A P P AI called him Pappa and his absence brings tears,

As we contemplate our new life, it instills fears,

He always was able to bring the family together,

We will remember his kind-hearted soul forever,

Husband, father, brother, grandfather, great-grandfather he has played his part,

Pappa you will always hold a special place in my heart,

We will all miss your jubilant smile,

Youre compassion and persistence never went out of style,

You enjoyed to see youre grandchildrens success,

Even met Avandhi, youre great-granddaughter princess,

I would always enjoy our one -on -one discussion,

But usually it ended with an inquiry into my academic position,

If I was given an opportunity or a magical wish,

I would wish for you to be here to share with youre family one last Christmas,

Pappa I know you will be watching over all of us everyday,

Youre loved ones will need youre protection every step of the way,

We come to the grim understanding that it was youre time to go,

Just know that me, Praveen and everyone else will miss you and love you so.

- Praveen

Praveen Balakumaran:


22/32

[ 22 ]

Deeply heartfelt attitude shall bepresent throughout my lifetime

Accounting for my own circumstantial upbringing that largely took place in the

US, specifically New Jersey, Pappa and I have nevertheless developed an enduringly

influential relationship. Ideally, as one of his grandsons, there has been a recogniz-

able bond that has been present since my birth. On special occasions, my immedi-

ate family and I would take trips to Canada where we were able to visit a majority

of my relatives, especially Amma and Pappa. These regular visits were great as

it exposed me to Pappas unique and optimistic character. From my perspective,

Pappa was a calmingly kind and wise person who displayed loving affection for my

brother Danesh and myself. It was nice during those periods as we were able to stay

at Pappas house to further brighten his surroundings joyously. His recurring curi-

ousness of my own affairs and activities back in New Jersey had always presented

the quality time we shared together. Overall, our interactions had definitely illumi-

nated much of Pappas appreciation and appraisal for my well-being and aspirations

for the future.

Our conversations were even highlighted by his everlastingly warm smile and sly

eagerness to instill motivation for me to better myself in academics and volunteer-ism. Our long-distance relationship had vitally transcended our face-to-face ties

as well. It was always amusing to regularly hear his distinct voice over the phone

where he had always delivered enthusiastic birthday calls. In addition, I knew he

would never hesitate to pickup the phone from his Markham home to gain assur-

ance about my own affairs even if I was absent from Canada.

However, our relationship had somewhat changed in a positive light where I

had individually decided to enroll in a university within Canada. A crucial aspect

of that decision had stemmed from my willingness to be closer to Pappa and the

rest of my family for better communication. I knew that moving to Canada formy college education had allowed for greater happiness from Pappa to ensure our

familial bond. It had also opened numerous opportunities for me to see him more

through my school breaks, which I had enjoyed. I remember Pappa had always con-

tained meaningful gestures that indicated his proudness of my progress in political

science. Through my father, it was inspiring to learn of his tenure as a prominent

public servant back in Sri Lanka. It was astounding to hear his work in the Sri

Harrish Thirukumaran:


23/32

[ 23 ]

Lankan Treasury that placed him on trips to both Japan and India. I found it really

neat to discover that and link it with my concentration in public administration. In

a sense, Pappas own accomplishments have encouraged my adamant determinationto uphold his words of advice to properly direct my academic future.

Sitting with him in his room silently or making small talk had in my view always

radiated a cherishing environment I hope to keep forever. From my own hidden

memory, I wish to remember that Pappa had a vivid admiration for my being as a

boy and striven to see the best out of me. Pappa, I know a simple description can

never capture your own personality and characteristics, but your deeply heartfelt

attitude shall be present throughout my lifetime. Ill miss you Pappa.

- Harrish

(Baby Ganapati on front cover drawn by Harrish, during Elementary School years in

Dayton, NJ, USA)


24/32

[ 24 ]

Looking Over UsAs the cold Canadian air blows past me these dayswhen I walk up the porch steps of Uncle Sivarajah household,the only ideas flowing through my head are aboutwhat occurred in my life the past few months for Pappa always asked.

He often calls me to his room to ask me what happenedin New Jersey and how my grades are,although he already knew that I was doing well andhe knows in the future I will go far.

Anytime he would tell me something factual oranything in general I would always respond with I know,so from that hell say that I knew everything,and my knowledge would continue to grow.

Pappa was a very profound man through his words,as he often made everyone else around him chirpabout their newfound knowledge they learned from him like birds.

I remember a recurring statement he said to me wasthat he always wanted to see me enter college,

as I wanted him to see me too and for himto see me expand my knowledge.

Even though he is not here today in his physical presence,I know that he will be watching me fromsomewhere telling me to do the right things in essence

- Danesh

Danesh Thirukumaran:


25/32

[ 25 ]

Sweet compassion of Pappa

Pappa,

Though this day

Comes in the life of any soul on this earth, it can never be perfectly timed or

one prepare and be satisfied that theyve spoken the last word to their loved one.

Pappa, and it is extremely hard to accept that we will not see you anymore. You

your self did not want to leave us, not because of it as being afraid of the inevi-

table, but as you fabulously enjoyed our successes, milestones and then in gather-

ings in which everyone loved your company - along with us our friends and their

families you didnt want to miss them and it will not be the same without you.

Pappa you never considered your job is done though you have tremendously

fulfilled your mission on earth - as the eldest son of our Appappa Sangarapillai

Vaathiyyar and Appachi Katpagam, and as brother to Siththappa Sinnathamby,

periyaththai Sinnappillai, Appu - Shanmugam and Kunjaththai Umaiyammai.

And as loving husband to Amma and therein how anyone would want to model

their marital bliss.As our Pappa to all of your children and grandchildren and great granddaughter

Avandhi

You did not consider that your job in these roles as done and you continued to

take active and keen interest in many forms in enduring the pattern of goodness

for everyone of us is here to stay.

We shall miss your physical presence in every way.

Pappa,

As kid I think the first paying of respect for a departed soul I attended was in

Kalvayal, for Manikkappacchi, my cousin and childhood pal Gnanans grandma.

When going from Colombo by train I was thinking that perhaps this news ofthe passing away is not true, and remember that Yarl Devi journey still. I felt this

way when Ammama left us as well. But since departing from Sri Lanka I never was

able to pay respect to several close relatives who left us.

Being unable to do so is terrible loss and often it has become the norm to many

of us.

Pappa, for you though am here I very much regret that I wasnt fortune and

From Youngest of the children:

K. Thirukumaran:


26/32

[ 26 ]

didnt choose the path to be on the vicinity for the past 15 years. This adding on

top that I spent less time than Annnan and my sisters as last of your children.

PappaMy friend Jegan T. Sathyaligam emailing condolence wrote to me that you are

very calm and peaceful person.

Pappa

As far back I can remember I dont recall a time that you even raised your voice

at me, which I do almost weekly if not daily to my own sons due to largely from

my inabilities in coping with daily routines. I crawl down only in thinking how you

have been to me, even in times wen I was your problem child as far as the goal

of securing a higher education is concerned.

Having done the GCE OLs exceptionally well for which you were very pleased,

I flunked the ALs badly. My physics and mathematics teacher Mrs. Narendran

Madam whom I liked very much repeatedly told you in parent teacher meetings

that I am never in the class, but busy organizing events and so forth. Youd come

home after the meeting and not be mad at me, but I remember your facial expres-

sion in sadness as to why I do this to myself without considering my future.

My school years at DS Senanayake college and time with friends and neighbors

- at First lane who also attended DS - Nira, Nishanth and Nidharshan are excep-

tional ones.

Pappa, I thank you for giving me all these choices.

As studying in an developing school there needed extra contributions on your

part than in a normal government funded school. You participated in many shra-

madana (means a gift of labor) and to fork up special building fund appeals madeby the school. Amma says that you recalled vivid memories of my time in DS when

my principal Alles sir passed away few days ago on the 28th of November.

When I passed the grade 5 scholarship examination and had the option for

automatic admission to schools such as Royal College, where such extra parental

participation in building the school would have been not needed but because I

decided that I wanted to stay at DS, Pappa fully supported it as well.

Your admiration for DS and interactions about it with your friends and col-

leagues at your office may have even prompted them to overlook other leading

Colombo schools when they were admitting their children to school - Pappa, I

remember of your friend Mr Dharmesena. Same with your friend Mr Chandradasawho used to come to our house and also enjoy Amma prepared sumptuous rice

and curries while talking to me about DS.

Pappa you paved the way for me to pursue to my likings while in Colombo

and then also to depart to US in Sept 1984 for higher studies. My AL results not

helping and while looking for higher learning opportunities abroad, Pappa guided

to many things if they are to my liking. Ranging from a Technical apprenticeship to


27/32

[ 27 ]

Teaching English. But I chose to work for a Tamil daily newspaper which is also a

motivation Pappa instilled in me throughout my entire childhood.

Pappa and Amma brought their roots of devotion and hospitality from theirpristine surroundings of Madduvil Notth and Kalvayal to Dehiwela and Markham.

Pappas ancestral home where his youngest sister Umaiyammai - Kunjaththai now

lives sits on the tip of the greens of Mudhaliya Vayal. They indulged in utmost

hospitality at home, at festivals at their Sweet gracing deity Panayadi Pillaiyaar

or at the lemonade stands of Pandithalaichchi Amman especially during Panguni

Thingall to quench the thirst of devotees and festival goers. The mouth watering

freshly harvested Madduvil Kaththirikkai, Payaththam parruppu curry and red rice

is everyday staple that will draw anyone to Pappas house in Madduvil North.

It is from this house Pappa left hours before crack of dawn to catch a train to

Colombo Appappa told me, as they both chose Pappa entering the Ceylon clerical

service in 1950 after completing English matriculation and gaining a class at the

entrance exam.

37 years later Pappa retired as a Director at The General Treasury of Sri Lanka

while he topped in Sri Lanka Government Accountant Service. His perseverance

took him to many positions in his career such as member of the boards of The

River Valleys Development Board and Ceylon Electricity Board. The positions took

him in official Ministry capacity to other countries such as Japan.

Though Pappa came to Canada in his retirement years, he studied Canadian

Taxation and worked at H & R Block for almost another decade. He took pride in

being a taxpayer in his new home country and enjoyed taking the public transport

from Markham, to get to work at the H & R Block offices in the Morningside andKingston area, a lot of times on cold winter days like today. In addition, until the

year 2010 Pappa also took care of the accounting books at Sriskanda Law Office.

Pappa, you wanted us to do of these more but set the bar high for success for

all of us. And you were proud seeing your eldest granddaughter Harshini as physi-

cian and in marital bliss with Amar and then Avandhi for you to pamper as your

first great-grandchild.

Pappa has taken exceptional care of all grandchildren - Harshini, Varun,

Anushini, Vishalini, Praveen, Harrish and Danesh and in showering his love to

Avandhi.

Their promising ways in academics and sports are matters Pappa you wanted tosee and cherish.

Pappa, my close friend in consoling me after hearing you departing, wrote to me

-

He was a kind, gentleman typical of the Tamil public servants of a bygone era

and fitted the description of grass not getting crushed when he walks.


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Pappa,

Though I had the opportunity to live near you for the last 23 years in Ontario,

I chose to work in NYC. Having to live and work under temporary visa in the USmay be risky in terms of my future long-term welfare youd caution me.

As I was out during 15 of those 23 years, I missed many gatherings and events

with you Pappa.

Which - Nesan Annachchi, Elder brother of my first brother in law writing on

my Facebook wall called is his familys privilege in knowing you for the past 30

years.

And in talking to this way here - two of your grandchildren are not right here at

this moment - Praveen is taking final exams in his sophomore year and Vishalini is

on her way back after semester long volunteering in Africa. They however are the

only two grand children who have been privileged to be near you since their arrival

on this earth - Vish in the same house and Praveen in the same neighborhood.

And Amma - if not for the past year or so I wouldnt have known that you had

a fifth child - as Pappa required more and more of your time and attention, the

number of times youd call me kept declining. In the times since Appu Chithappah

visited and went back to Brisbane this summer, the calls - weeks went by without

them. Now you please call me again Amma.

For me when I get back to New Jersey, I can think that you are still here in

Markham, and water my eyes anytime when I listen to your favorite signer Pithukuli

Murugadass singing - Maaninam pirintha pin vaaduthal pole, mayanghi uzhalum

siru mainthan en mele..Ean innum thayavillaiya Muruga or even the song from the

1952 blockbuster Parasakthi - O Rasikkum seemane Vaa jolikkum udai anninthukallikkum nadanam purivome

A condolence message that received, from A Tamil American elder Dr Na-

galigam Ethirveerasingam - whom you told me that you are only well aware as a

distinguished athlete but I too never met personally today emailed me from Jaffna.

I had interacted in forums that hes been active since May 2009 and he said -

My deepest condolence on the passing of your father. He has lived a full life.

Irrespective of age, you are reflecting your life with him from the time you were

aware of yourself.

Pappa - I take this and shall say until we meet again, but be assured that we

will all live up to your expectations.And in the words of the lady legend sidhar Auvaiyars words May joyous com-

passion be with all from the Sweetly gracing lord Pillaiyar you worshiped.

- Thiru

(Text was read by Thiru on Monday, December 16, 2013 during the visitation hours at

Highland Funeral Home)


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In Memoriam online:For Pappa Sangarapillai Kanapathypillaihttp://pappa29.tumblr.com/

Renderings of Hymnsby Appappa (Pappas father)

Sinnathamby Sangarapillai (1902-1988)

http://katpagam.tumblr.com/

Also on:

http://www.youtube.com/user/KatpagamChannel

Have a heart that never hardens, a temper that never tires, and a touch that never hurts.

- Charles Dickens (1812-1870) Novelist

Display on 57th Street, NY, NY 10019


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This isnt goodbye...

Kanapathipillai has touched many a hearts and lives. He gave so much of

himself to everyone, not because of anything else, but because he knew that was

the way to live life. He gave hope to everyone during their toughest times, includ-

ing me, during my trials I have found comfort in his kind eyes and powerful words.

I cannot tell how thankful I am for the bond that ran between us. I wouldnt trade

it for the world. You gave me a forever within the numbered days and I will carry

all our memories together with me wherever I go. I am well aware that mere fancy

words will never be enough to describe the man he was, and all that is deep down

in my heart can never be worded instead they can only be felt, reminisced and cher-

ished. You will continue to be in my memories forever.

So my dear friend from all of us here today.this isnt goodbye, its just a

different kind of hello.

I would like to convey my sympathies to his family, friends and everyone whos

here today.

- S.Kanagasabai

From Friends

By S. Kanagasabai:


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Sangarapillai Kanapathypillai :A Gentleman who was Gentle and Genteel.

I was very sorry to hear that Mr.Sangarapillai Kanapathypillai had passed away

peacefully on December 13th last year. The news of his departure did not shock

me as I was aware that his health had been deteriorating through conversations

from his son and my close friend Thirukumaran.

Pappa as his children called him had been a regular feature of our conversa-

tions over the years. In recent times as his state of health declined talking about

Pappa-as I too referred to him-became almost a constant topic in our near daily

telephone conversations.

I first met Thiru in 1988 while both of us were in the USA.I came to know

other members of his family after I moved to Canada in 1989. I used to visit the

homes of Thirukumaran, his brother Balakumaran and his sisters Baheerathy and

Sivasakthy frequently in the early nineties of the last century.

I was a bachelor then and was treated with great friendship and hospitality at

their homes during those days. I would often meet both parents on those occasions.

Conversing with Mr.Kanapathypillai was both interesting and informative. He

had a commendable track record as a senior official in the public service for several

decades. His vast knowledge of the past and the experiences he had undergoneenabled him to relate several illuminating and amusing anecdotes. He had a quiet

sense of humour.

Yet he never imposed himself or tried to monopolise discussions and would

politely contribute to the conversations only when asked. I used to enjoy hearing

him talk about men and matters he had encountered during his 37 years of public

service and learnt a lot.

Entering the portals of Govt clerical service first and then moving on to Govt

Accountancy corridors, Mr.Kanapathypillais gradual ascension within the Bureau-

cratic structure was impressive.

He worked in many Government ministries such as Labour, Health and Finance

and retired as Director of the Treasury. He also served on the boards of River

Valleys Development and Ceylon Electricity as the Finance ministry representative.

Though the greater part of his working life was spent in Colombo the period of

work he enjoyed most was his stint at Ratnapura.

By D.B.S. Jeyaraj:


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Mr.Kanapathypillai was also an avid reader of my writings in both English and

Tamil. After the Tamil weekly that I edited in Canada ceased publication I focused

on English writing. Thiru would give him print-outs of some articles. After reading

he always provided some related input on those.

My personal interaction with Mr.Kanapathypillai began decreasing in later years.

Thiru had relocated to the USA. Bala, Bahee and Siva relocated from Scarborough

to Markham. But as stated earlier Pappa was very often a topic of conversation

for Thiru and myself. Thiru would relate something interesting and/or informative

that his father had told him. At times I would ask Thiru about his fathers views on

a particular issue. In that way I would get glimpses of his thoughts and views.

Memories of my own fathers days as a Govt servant and of relatives and oth-

ers like Mr.Kanapathypillai remind me at times of the halcyon days of the Tamil

public servants. They were steeped in the British colonial tradition and possessed atremendous sense of duty and discipline that seems unimaginable in the current Sri

Lankan context. They discharged their duties with efficiency, integrity and loyalty

shunning publicity and frivolity.

Many of them joined the Govt service in the lower rungs and then steadily went

up the ladder through dedication, perseverance and hard work. They rose from the

ranks to the top. They were not bees flitting from flower to flower in search of pol-

len but firmly planted seeds growing over the years into fruit-bearing trees.

This pattern of stable career growth may seem archaic in the present era where

career growth basically depends on mobility and not stability. Another notable

aspect of these personnel was their wide and deep knowledge of a number of mat-ters that were totally unrelated to their work.

In that sense Mr. Kanapathypillai was a typical representative of the Tamil

Govt servants of a bygone era. He was a kind, honourable gentleman who was

gentle and genteel in his ways, speech, deeds and demeanour.

There is a saying in Tamil about good people who tread so softly and gently that

even grass does not get crushed underfoot.

Sangarapillai Kanapathypillai was such a man!

May his soul break away from the cycle of rebirths and find eternal bliss with

the almighty.

- D.B.S.Jeyaraj

in memory of sangarapillai kanapathypillai

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