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In the Image of Grace

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Charlotte Ann Schlobohm


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Text copyright 2011 by Charlotte Ann SchlobohmCover art copyright 2011 by Charlotte Ann SchlobohmAll rights reserved. Any reproduction of this publication

either in part or in whole is prohibited unless explicitlyauthorized by the copyright holder.http://caschlobohm.wordpress.com .

This is a work of fiction. Any similarity to actualpersons, places or events is just mere coincidence.
http://caschlobohm.wordpress.com/http://caschlobohm.wordpress.com/http://caschlobohm.wordpress.com/


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... I would like to thank Heather Bonfor believing in the truth.


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..................................

This story is sold as fiction,

But its all true.

It was supposed to be a memoir of sorts,

But nobody would believe me,

So fiction it is claimed to be.

..


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Chapter One

Everything started with the death of Elizabeth. Elizabeth always had a sense of doom and

somehow we knew her life would end too soon. She took it herself, by her own hand. I found her

in the guest bathroom on the second floor, leaning up against the bathtub with her head bent back

as if looking up into the heavens she had planned on entering. The scene was quite serene, a look

of peace and gentleness on her face.

Her cuts were neat and precise, two vertical cuts, one on each wrist up against her pristine white

skin, the skin that seemed to belong to a porcelain doll. Perfect and delicate even in death.

I knelt down next to her not caring that I was kneeling in the pools of blood that collected

under each wrist washing over the entire bathroom floor, coating the octagonal white ceramic

tiles, staining them pink for a lifetime. The blood ran through the thin vein like spaces between

the tiles where grout once was, carrying it through the body that was the floor.

I wasnt shocked when I found her. I was deeply saddened, but somehow not entirely

surprised. Her whole life Elizabeth was haunted. Almost every night she would wake up

screaming. A woman screaming haunted her in her dreams and in her waking hours. We werent

sure if that was what caused her depression or if her depression was an entirely separate state. I

think they just worked hand in hand.

When she was younger she had tried to take her own life several times. The doctors said

they were just accidents while she was sleepwalking. She might have been sleepwalking, but

they werent accidents. The first incident was when she was about five. I dont recall too many

memories from that time period because I was only four, but I do remember that day and that she

was a very young sad child. As she grew older the sadness grew and was soon accompanied by

her sense of doom.


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It was late at night, probably around midnight. I was awoken by a cool breeze sweeping

over me. Isabelle and Clarissa were asleep in the other room. They were just toddlers. It took me

a while before I opened my eyes because I was enjoying the breeze over my face trying to

incorporate into my dreams, but then I heard a snapping sound, like someone stepping on a twig,

that finally made me open my eyes. Everything in the room was illuminated by the moonlight.

Our white four poster canopy beds glowed. The material from the canopy softly blew around in

the breeze. Our dressers were in the spotlight of the moon, the trinkets of carousel horses and

music boxes proudly on display. I loved that music box that sat on my dresser when I was

younger. When you opened it a little ballerina popped up and it started playing a sweetsymphony. A gift I always pretended that my mother gave me, so I could always remember her.

I looked over at Elizabeths bed and realized she wasnt there. I softly called her name.

Perhaps she just went to use the washroom, but then I heard her voice softly riding on the breeze

into the room. That only meant one thing. She was on the roof outside the window.

I looked out the window and there she was with her back towards me, her body outlined

by the moon. Her nightgown and hair gently blew with the breeze. She was whispering, As I lay

me down to sleep. At the time I didnt know it was a prayer because we had never even gone to

church. I called out her name, but she just continued on. Elizabeth, I called again. She

responded by bending her knees and pushing off with her toes, sailing into the night sky.

My scream was loud enough to wake everybody. Isabelle and Clarissa instantly started

crying. Our father ran into the room where I just stood pointing at the window. Jesus, he said

somehow realizing what had happened. Somehow Elizabeth escaped uninjured. We were on the

second floor, but she managed to fall limp enough that nothing broke, or was barely even out of


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Our house kind of stood out even though it wasnt at the front of the lot. It was pushed

back with two swatches of neatly trimmed green grass on either side of the walkway that led up

to the porch steps. A tall wrought iron fence surrounded our property. You could only get past

the gate if you were buzzed in. Once past the gate and up the cement walkway you got to the

covered porch that spanned the length of the front of the house and wrapped around it to the left.

The left hand side of the house also had a turret that extended an extra story up past the actual

height of the house. The house was three floors not counting the basement and attic.

The first floor had the main living space. You came into the main foyer when you walked

in with the stairs to the right and to the left was the living room or parlor as Im sure it was oncecalled. It was a dark room with brown leather sofas with gold upholstery tacks. The end and

coffee tables were a deep mahogany wood with ornate carvings on the legs. Some tall potted

plants were in the one corner of the room near the windows. The windows were draped in a

heavy velvet maroon. The room seemed out of place. To me it looked like it should have been in

a university library or something.

There were French doors that led into the dining room. You could also access the dining

room if you continued down the foyer. A great stained glass window rose above the buffet that

held the china that was said to be priceless. I cant even say family china because we were

unsure that our father had any family. We couldnt imagine anybody ever being his mother

because he was so cold it seemed he never received any love that a mother would give.

In the back of the house was a large room, where most people would use as a family

room and watch TV. We had couches and armchairs in that room, but no TV. There was also a

long wooden table with wooden chairs with the straightest backs one probably would have ever

seen on a chair. That was where we ate our meals. Off that room was the kitchen. It was a small


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dark space. The sink, stove and cabinets were on the left side. If you looked straight in you saw

the refrigerator and to the right was an old white wooden back door, a small wooden table with

two stools and a little rectangular window above that table. Out past the back door was a small

covered porch with three steps down and a small pathway that led you into the garage. The

garage was made of stone and until recently had the original carriage doors from when it was

first built. It was only a couple years ago that my father had an actual modern garage door put in.

If you went back to the front of the house, the stairs would take you straight up almost the

whole way, until where there was small landing and to the left was the last seven stairs. Once at

the top of the stairs was the hall guest bath, where I found Elizabeth. At the end of the hall to theleft was the room Elizabeth and I shared when we were younger, as we grew older I moved to

the room to the right of it. It was the room with the turret. In between the two rooms was a

washroom.

Next to the hall bathroom to the right was a laundry room and next to that were the stairs

that led you to the third floor. Staying on the second floor if you went to the right past the stairs

were the other two rooms with the same setup as Elizabeths and mine. The house was slightly

modernized when we were younger. Thats how we got the bathrooms between the bedrooms

because in the houses original state there was just the one bath, the one we grew to call the guest

bath.

The top floor of the house was where our father slept and where he also had his office.

We never saw the attic because you had to access it from the third floor and our father told us to

stay off of what he called his floor of the house. He always said there would be severe

consequences if we went up there and we believed him, so we never did.


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We never saw the basement either just the top wooden steps leading down into it. That was

where we sat if ever asked a question about our mother. Our mother was a topic one just did not

talk about in our house. If we asked something like, What was our mother like? Our father

would instantly grab us by our delicate little wrists, open the basement door and say, Go sit with

the demons. Needless to say we were always too frightened to go beyond that top basement step

because we feared there really were demons in the basement.

That was the kind of man our father was. He had no problem putting fear in his childrens

hearts. We really didnt see him all that often. He left early in the morning and came home late at

night, even on the weekends. Our father was a professor and researcher at Bradwell University.He was highly regarded in his field and had many published papers in journals and even a couple

books. We werent exactly sure what he did. Elizabeth always said his field was blasphemy.

Whatever it was, it seemed more important to him than us. He just had us kept in the house. We

never even left the house that much before Elizabeth died. The only occasion we would really go

out would be to some event where it seemed important that his children made an appearance.

Wed make our appearance and then wed be shut back up in our prison of a house.

We didnt even go to school. We had a private tutor we called Mr. Carl. Mr. Carl was a

younger man. Id say about twenty-five. He was thin with dangerously sharp elbows, always was

garbed in corduroy and his hair was a sandy blond color in tight little curls that clung closely to

his head. He wasnt one for talking. He tutored us for a few hours a day and then was gone. The

only other person we saw during the day was Ms. Dunderfeltz. She did all the cleaning. She

would leave after dinner. She always stayed so she could do the dishes. Elizabeth generally

cooked the dinner, but Ms. Dunderfeltz always offered her gentle guidance. She mainly kept to

herself. She had a quite nature and thanks to her the house was always immaculate.


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Isabelle came and peered into the bathroom as I was weeping for Elizabeth. She started to

scream like a banshee which drew Clarissa in whom I quickly sent out to call 911. Elizabeth was

pronounced dead by the paramedics who came with hope in saving her. After Elizabeth was

taken away I noticed sitting on the bathroom sink was a picture from the newspaper. I left it

sitting there as I went to the laundry room to strip off my clothes and grab a bunch of towels.

Somebody had to clean up the bathroom. While I cleaned up Clarissa and Isabelle were shut up

by themselves somewhere in the house mourning and I was left with the sign of life that

Elizabeth was alive not too long ago.When I was done cleaning up I took that picture and went to my room. I placed it on my bed and

went and took a shower. I turned on the water as hot as I could take it and let it run over my

body, where inside pain was welling up. I sat down in the tub and hugged my legs and wept,

hoping the water would wash away my pain.

..

We knew her life would end too soon. We just werent prepared for when it actually

happened. The three of us stood in the middle of Elizabeths room. It had only been a couple

days since Elizabeth decided to end her life. The same white canopy bed from when we were

younger stood proudly in the middle of it. Everything was perfectly in place. All the books were

lined up neatly according to height on her shelves and the pillows and stuffed animals on her bed

were perfectly displayed as if the bed was in a store window. Her room seemed lifeless without

her in it, just as lifeless as she had become. Isabelle, Clarissa and I sat down on the floor.

I showed them the picture that Elizabeth had left on the bathroom sink. It was a picture of

the four of us standing in a row from shortest to tallest. It was cut out of the newspaper, a picture


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that was taken while our father was receiving a reward for something. Each of us had long black

brown hair, a round face, almost shaped like the face of a barn owl and an empty look in our

almond shaped eyes. Elizabeth always said we had that look of emptiness because we had no

souls. The pale iridescence of our skin gave us an almost ethereal quality. We were all dressed

the same; white knee socks, a khaki pleated skirt and a navy corduroy blazer covering our upper

body. The only thing that was different was that the Clarissa was wearing black Mary Janes,

where Elizabeth, Isabelle and I were wearing flats. Underneath the picture the caption read, The

Schlobohm Children; Clarissa 11, Isabelle 12, Charlotte 13 and Elizabeth 14. The picture was a

few years old. As we sat in Elizabeths room I was sixteen, Isabelle was fifteen, Clarissa wasfourteen and Elizabeth was no more.

..

At Elizabeths funeral there was not one face that I recognized besides the obvious;

Isabelle, Clarissa, our father, Mr. Carl and Ms. Dunderfeltz. We had no relatives that we knew

of, so we didnt know where all the people came from. When people viewed her body they

politely looked down at her and went on their way. Clarissa, Isabelle and I stood in the line

behind each other. Clarissa was the first to look upon our dead sister. Clarissa kissed her fingers

and placed them upon Elizabeths lips. When Isabelle went up she started sobbing. Clarissa came

and hugged her shoulders and led her to the side. I dont know what I felt as I looked down on

Elizabeth, everything perfectly in place like she had been frozen in time. I wanted to kiss and

hug her, but I also wanted to scream at her for what she had done. It felt like she left us to fend

for ourselves. I longed for her comfort and guidance and just her mere presence.

I looked over at our father. He was at the root of it all. Our father stood in the back

dressed like he was going to work. He wore khakis and a white buttoned down shirt with a


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blazer, not even a full suit. He didnt seem to have any feelings over the death of our sister, his

daughter. My sisters and I didnt even see him cry, before or after the funeral. He just stood

there with a stoic look on his face. In retrospect nobody seemed overly emotional or emotional at

all. Everybody was wiped clean of any feeling.

Our father never identified with any religions, so it seemed odd that a pastor said a few

words. I didnt know what he was a pastor of, but he claimed to be one. I didnt listen until he

asked if anybody wanted to say anything and the place was silent. I didnt want to say anything

at first because I wasnt sure if Id be able to handle it, but I went up because somebody had to

say something about Elizabeth at her own funeral. I got up from my seat and went up to thepodium that was set up. I cleared my throat and looked around at all the blank faces staring at

me.

Elizabeth was always there when we needed her. We could always depend on her. Who

are we going to depend on now? I couldnt say anymore. I looked at all the faces watching me.

Nobody even blinked. I walked away from the podium and out the doors and to the lobby, where

sitting on a table with thinly carved legs was a picture of Elizabeth when she was around eight.

She looked very sad. Her eyes were empty and her mouth was drawn down in a frown. It was

from when our father had a photographer come to the house and take pictures because for our

father picture taking wasnt something you went to a photo studio for.

That was the last time a photographer ever came. None of us were very cooperative. Our

father got mad because none of us would smile. After that for pictures of us wed rely on an

occasional one that would pop up in a newspaper from some sort of event for our father. It was

always the same picture; wed just occasionally get older. We were always standing side by side


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according to height, in the same khaki clad outfit as in the newspaper picture that Elizabeth left

for us.

Isabelle and Clarissa came out into the lobby area with me and we all went outside and

stood on the front curb and waited until it was all over.

A couple days after Elizabeths funeral our father announced that we were going

downtown to get new clothes, it was the first time he took us shopping. At first I thought it was

an odd way to show affection seeing that we have never been shopping before and he has never

shown affection either. It was a Sunday morning when he told us all to get dressed because wehad to go buy school clothes.

All the clothes that we owned were ones that our father cataloged ordered and we always

matched, wearing what seemed almost like a uniform. The three of us got dressed in matching

khaki pants, black flats and a navy overcoat and we walked with our father over to the EL

station.

We stood on the EL platform waiting for the train, shivering from the breeze and extra

wind the expressway on either side yielded. It was about the middle of fall, so it was starting to

get cold and all the leaves were slowly changing colors. The middle of the horizon past the

expressway was speckled in golds, reds, oranges and what remained of the greens. Above that

was an overcast sky and below laid the city, the tops of all the brick apartment buildings and

farther off in the distance the city skyline.

There was a crisp clean smell to the air and we stood in silence. Our father wasnt one for

talking. Whenever we were around him there was an awkward silence. I dont think I even heard

a word from him until that morning. The train rattled up and we all got on. We got off at


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Washington and went to a department store called Marshall Prairies. Our dad took us to the

junior department and told us to select several outfits each. It was quite overwhelming. Since we

were shut up in the house most the time we werent too up on the fashion trends. I mainly got

jeans, sweaters and tee-shirts, mostly plain in color, but a few stripes here and there. We also got

to get some new shoes and coats.

Many teenage girls Im sure would have been ecstatic at the opportunity we had, but it

didnt thrill us all that much. Our sister just died. We were there with our father who really didnt

seem to care for us all that much. There were other things I would have preferred to do. It was

that weekend when our father made the announcement about us going to school.


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Chapter Two

After Elizabeths death we were allotted about a couple weeks for grievances and we

were then expected to bounce into school, not even a private school; a public school. I only say

that because we had a private tutor. Public school seemed like a step in the opposite direction.

The last time we saw our tutor Mr. Carl was at Elizabeths funeral. He sat in the back wearing a

suit that looked too large on him. We didnt know for certain why all of a sudden we were going

to school. Perhaps the death of Elizabeth showed our father that we needed to be socialized.

We stood there, Isabelle, Clarissa and I on the threshold of real live actual high school.

We had the slightest idea what to expect. We were to arrive to the schools doorstep by way of

the city bus. The three of us stood perfectly dressed with our messenger bags at our sides with all

the other teenagers hoping to be delivered to the same location in which we were going. We were

disguised in our brand new school clothes we got from our downtown trip, trying to look the part

of normal happy teenagers.

I stood at the bus stop in jeans, a plain gray sweater, with a brown buttoned down coat

and over the coat a navy messenger bag stocked with new notebooks and pens. Some canvas

gym shoes called Buck Baylors on my feet. I liked the simplicity the Bucks had to offer.

Isabelle had on pretty much the same thing, but in varying shades of depression. Clarissa wore

color. Somehow the pink she wore added a nice soft color to her cheeks. None of the other kids

at the bus stop looked very enthused. They all swore under their breath because the bus was late.

There was a cold wind that kept knocking into my ears making me wish I had worn a hat. The

bus pulled up and screeched to a halt and everybody made a mad dash to get on.


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The three of us waited and then got on. There was definitely nowhere to sit yet alone

barely any room to stand. Everybody was squished on that bus like sardines in a can. I think a

few of the kids were even splat against the buss windows looking like they were bugs squished

on a cars windshield. The bus sped down the busy city street cutting off whoever it felt like,

every so often screeching to a halt to force another passenger on. When we finally got to school

the bus doors opened and everybody kind of fell out on top of each other.

A large dark brick building stood in front of us with an immense green lawn spreading all

around it. It looked like part of a university and not a high school. The building had many gothic

structures, from the windows and doors to the spires on the roof. A large cement stadium sat nextto the school. Supposedly it had been used in a couple movies. I didnt know movies very well,

so I wasnt able to verify peoples claims. We walked up to the school where there were pools of

students waiting at the entrance doors. We went in through the main entrance because we had to

get our schedules and such.

In the main office we were given our schedules by a woman with a nasally voice and

given some guidelines and directions. We were then set off to fend for ourselves. The bell rang

and the hallways sprung to life. In an instant people were shoving past us to get to their lockers.

Clarissa, Isabelle and I stood in the middle of the main hall in everybodys way. I was taking it

all in. I was quite pleased with my first impression of the school. The main hallway and entrance

was covered in a dark oak wood paneling with proud pictures and plaques hanging on the walls.

A glass trophy case was filled with glories from the past. The front hall had an air of academia

and sophistication to it.

The floor had has these colored stripes running up and down the sides. At one time the school

was a very crowded prep school and I was told that the lines were used for crowd control. One


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color meant one direction and so and so forth. It made sense, but they werent used anymore.

There was a flourish of teenage bodies swimming all over the halls. We walked down the main

hall and turned left, where much to my disappointment the hall looked more like a typical high

school hall, but I didnt have much to go on. That was the first high school hallway I had ever

been in.

Either side of the hall was lined with brown lockers. There were some pendants up on the

wall. Some lockers were open with kids in them pulling stuff out, some had paper sticking out

the cracks, others had kids leaning on them. Isabelle, Clarissa and I congregated in a small

alcove where there were doors that led into the girls locker room. We looked at our schedulestrying to figure out where to go. Isabelle had to go to history on the third floor, I had to go to

American literature on the second floor and Clarissa had to go geometry which was also on the

second floor.

The day had just begun, but I felt I was enjoying it already. I liked all the commotion and

noise and people everywhere. It was a far different atmosphere than what I was used to. My

sisters and I parted ways. I found my literature class and cautiously walked in. There were about

six rows of desks lined up across the classroom. They were the kind that were really chairs and

had a small writing surface attached. I soon found out they were barely big enough to hold

anything. The wall directly across from the door was lined with windows that went almost up to

the ceiling. Light spilled into the room leaving streaks of yellow across the old worn wood floor.

I wasnt sure if I should sit down or not. I didnt know if there were assigned seats or

what. I was one of the first people there. There was one other kid sitting in the back corner of the

classroom. He had a baseball hat pulled down over his eyes and his arms were hugged around his

body. I was pretty sure he was asleep. Somebody else shoved past me and went and sat in the


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third row. It was a girl with her hair pulled back in a tight black pony tail. Her facial features

seemed to of been pulled back with her pony tail making for one taut looking face.

Excuse me, I said to the girl. She didnt answer. Excuse me, Miss, I said pensively

thinking my phrasing was quite improper for high school. The girl quickly picked up on that.

She sharply looked up at me. What do you want Miss Merry Sunshine? She asked

raising her eyebrows like they were saying, hello, why are you bothering me?

Are the seats assigned?

No, she answered.

All right, I responded shaking my head as other students started to filter into theclassroom. I choose a seat in front so the teacher could see me when she entered. The bell rang

and about a minute after that the teacher arrived. The teacher was a curious looking woman in

probably her sixties, close to retirement. She hunched in way where it looked almost like she had

a hump. Her shoulders were draw up and her head was pulled in, kind of like a vulture. She had

on some khaki slacks with a blue denim collared shirt and a vest with cats embroidered on it.

Behind her she pulled a crate on wheels. She stopped at the podium that was in front of the class,

bent over and pulled out an attendance book that was in the crate. She stood up quickly, scanned

the room to check that she had everyone and then her eyes stopped on me.

Ah yes, you must be the new student, she declared giving me the once over.

Yes ma'am, I replied as politely as I could. I did want to make a good impression.

Mrs. Brown would do just fine, she answered. What was your name again?

Charlotte Ann Schlobohm, I stated properly annunciating because my name was a

mouthful.


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Uh huh, came from Mrs. Brown as she wrote in her attendance book. And spell that

last name for me.

So I spelled the whole thing out.

German? She asked about my name.

Correct.

All right, Mrs. Brown said. Pull out your copies of The Pendulum . Charlotte you will

need to obtain a copy, for now you can look at Mr. Russos. He is to your right.

I looked over to my right to see who Mr. Russo was. He was this tall kid who was smiling at me

goofily with what seemed like too many teeth in his mouth. Mr. Russo, who I would later learnwas named Lawrence, scooted his desk over to mine and opened his book and folded it back to

the appropriate spot. He smiled and nodded his head at me like he was somehow satisfied. I tried

not to lean in too close.

Mrs. Brown had students read excerpts and they discussed this and that and my mind

started to wander. I started to think about Elizabeth and how she would have probably really

enjoyed school. She was always trying to find ways to get out of our house and interact with

people. She only got free on a few occasions, mainly a couple times when Ms. Dunderfeltz sent

her to the store to get something.

If our father ever found out, Ms. Dunderfeltz would have been out of a job, so it was just

another secret in our house. Elizabeth would always come back with exciting reports about what

we called the outside world. Shed tell us about the people in line at the grocery store and the

cashier that rung her up and anybody or thing shed see on the street. Isabelle, Clarissa and I

would hang onto every detail. And there I sat surrounded by all these different people, so many


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possible stories, the girl with the face, the teacher, that Mr. Russo kid, but I wouldnt be able to

share any of it with her.

After literature I was off to what was called division, many call it home room. I was in

division 533. There were about thirty-three kids in there, all of which were also juniors. I

received a more formal reception than I had in my literature class. Mr. Alvarez my division

teacher called me up front and introduced me. I looked out on to everyone. They all just stared

blankly at me. I stared back at sixty-six eyeballs. Mr. Alvarez stopped talking and there was an

awkward silence. Then he asked if I had anything to say and I said no, then sat down. I sat down

next to a girl who smiled kindly at me. She had very bad acne, but you could tell underneaththere was a cute face there.

I looked around the room. It looked like it was a geography classroom. There were maps

all over the wall and a few globes on shelves. Some announcements were then given and then

after about fifteen minutes a bell rang and everybody was on their way again.

I had a couple more classes and then lunch. Lunch was an interesting observation of the

teenage species. I had a packed lunch in a brown paper bag and I think I was the only one in the

school besides my sisters with a lunch like that. It seemed almost everybody bought lunch or just

ate candy bars, chips and pop. I wasnt too sure where to sit, so I found a table in a corner facing

the whole cafeteria with nobody sitting at it and took a seat.

The only teenage socialization I had observed was in the couple of movies that I had

actually seen re-ran on GWN and it was nothing like what I was observing. We didnt have a

TV, but Ms. Dunderfeltz had a portable one. She would bring it with her and watch TV in the

laundry room while she washed and folded all the clothes. Wed always slip in there with her

when we had the chance, but anyways there wasnt the stereotypical table of jocks with


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cheerleaders flocked around and the table of freaks and preppies and so on and so forth. It kind

of looked like everybody intermingled. I watched the flurry of activity until the bell rang and it

was yet again on to my next class.

After school I met Isabelle and Clarissa by the main entrance so we could go home

together, the sophomore, freshman and I the junior. I felt satisfied with my day, but then that

made me feel kind of sad because I wasnt sure if that was what I should have been feeling at

that time. It hadnt been that long since Elizabeths death, just a matter of weeks really.

Satisfaction did not seem appropriate at the time.


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Chapter Three

That night after the first day of school I had a dream. It might have been the same one

Elizabeth was having because the screaming was there. It was a terrible sounding scream coming

from a female. It sounded like she was being murdered, or she was witnessing someone being

murdered. All I remember seeing in the dream was a dark room or something and before I woke

up I heard Elizabeth say, Find mother.

I didnt want to open my eyes at first after I woke up. For a moment I thought Elizabeth

was in my room with me. I was able to hear someone breathing very softly and in the distance I

heard the screaming. Slowly I opened my eyes to my darkened bedroom. I appeared to be the

only one in there. My dream left a lingering feeling of uneasiness and anxiety. I pulled my

blanket up to my chin and lay in place for awhile. I couldnt shake the feeling, so I got up and

walked down the hall to Isabelles room. I went over to her bed and climbed in.

Move over, I whispered giving her a little shove. Whenever one of us would get scared

or lonely wed crawl into bed with each other. Just the presence of another person seems to make

everything better. Isabelle mumbled and rolled over onto her side. I lay on my left side and

stared into the dark. I didnt want to close my eyes again because I was scared Id still hear the

screaming. I tried to let my mind drift off to other things, to Isabelle sleeping next to me.

Isabelle was always the most sensitive out of us all. Shed cry when she read a sad book,

or even when one of us would say something sweet to her. She generally only spoke when the

occasion desperately called for her words. She was always observing though. You could tell

because her eyes were always looking around for something to affix too. She had a very keen

sense of observation. She was probably the most like Elizabeth. Elizabeth was also quite quiet.

She was always very focused on her duties of tending to us. Nobody ever told her she was to act


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as our care giver. She saw a need for it and it came natural to her. We never got to feel the love

of our real mother or father. Our father was there, but he never gave us any inclination that he

actually loved us. We had each other and that got us through the days, but we no longer had the

love of Elizabeth, just the memory of it.

Isabelle and I were awoken by her alarm clock. Our father got us each one that past

weekend when we also got our clothes. She rolled over and seemed surprised to see me there.

When did you mosey in here? She queried rubbing the sleep out of her eyes.

Around midnight I think, I responded sitting up.

Isabelle raised her eyebrows asking me why.I think I had Elizabeths dream or nightmare or whatever you call it.

What! Isabelle shouted.

I nodded.

What was it like?

Well, I dont remember seeing anything, but there was definitely screaming in a dark

place and it was awful, like someone was being killed or something. I paused, bit my lip and

looked at Isabelle. I think its still there too, somewhere in the distance I can still faintly hear

it.

Isabelle looked very worried. Her eyes were wide and her mouth was drawn in. You

cant be next. I would simply die myself.

No, I think Elizabeth wants me to do something.

Isabelle raised her eyebrows again.

Right before I woke up she told me to find our mother.


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Isabelles eyes got even wider and her mouth dropped open. I bit my lip, raised my

eyebrows and shook my head yes.

It was like she was there with me when she said it.

How do we find her?

I shrugged my shoulders. I had the slightest idea.

Hey, Isabelle and I heard across the room. It was Clarissa. She walked over and sat on

the edge of the bed. Isabelle and I filled her in.

Where do we even start? I sighed.

..I walked into the school library filled with anxiety. The morning had passed with a blur.

I couldnt shake my dream. I couldnt shake the screaming. I dont think the screaming was

really there, but I kept hearing it so faintly resonating from my dream.

I had gotten what is called a library pass. A library pass meant that I could go to the library

instead of sit in study hall and do nothing.

I wasnt sure what I was looking for, but I knew the library had resources that could

hopefully help me in my search. The library was quite large. The walls were covered in the same

dark oak wood paneling as the main hall. When you looked straight forward you were greeted by

a wall of windows that was two floors high. A balcony ran along the one side of the library with

a great wood railing. There were wood tables with those green lamps and study cubicles spread

around. On the walls there were these giant wood carvings and large colorful murals, all of

which were artfully crafted. I looked up and there were two rows of chandeliers hanging from

the ceiling.


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I looked back down and underneath the windows was a row of computers. I was pretty

sure thats where I was going to start. There was an unoccupied computer at the end, so I walked

over, placed my bag on the ground and slipped into the chair. I hit the enter button and the screen

lit up. Two boxes that said password and ID looked at me. I drummed my fingers on the table

and looked around. I wasnt quite sure what to do. To the best of my knowledge I had neither of

those. I scanned the library and spotted a kid next to the circulation desk. He was flipping

through books on a metal push cart. It looked like he might have been putting them away.

Perhaps he could help me, I thought. I pushed back my chair, stood up and walked across

the library towards him, going around the obstacles of kids sitting with their chairs pushed out tofar from the tables and backpacks on the ground. The kid putting away the books had a head

loaded with shaggy brown hair that flipped up at the ends. He was pretty lanky looking and stood

kind of bent over. I wasnt sure if it was because he was examining the books or if he just had

awful posture.

Excuse me, I said.

He turned around holding a hardback book in his hand. He wore small thin plastic framed

glasses and a brown plaid shirt that looked like it belonged to a cowboy. Mmm, he huffed.

I was wondering if you could help me.

Whadya need?

The computer, I said. It needs a password and ID number.

You dont have one? He asked placing the book he was holding onto the metal cart.

I dont think so.

Youve never used the computers for class? He asked sounding suspicious of me.

No, its only my second day here.


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Oh, okay. Its pretty simply. The username is your first initial and last name and the ID

is your student ID.

I nodded. How do I get my student ID?

The shaggy haired kid smiled. Where are you sitting? He asked.

I pointed to my seat. We both walked over and I sat down. He told me to get out my

schedule because thats where I would find my student ID. He helped me log on and then I

inquired about the internet.

You tellin me you never used the internet before? A look of shock and amazement

covered his face.I shook my head no.

Where are you from? He asked crossing his arms around his torso.

About a mile and a half down the street.

He let out a little laugh and showed me what to do. I didnt know it was so simple. To my

sisters and me the internet was almost a new fangled invention. We had a computer, but all we

had was a word processing program. Before that day I had never been on the internet. It was

starting to dawn on me how sheltered we really were. I was supposed to be looking for

information on my mother, but I knew absolutely nothing about her, so I figured maybe I would

start with our father. We lived with him and still yet knew nothing about him. I wasnt even too

sure what he did. I knew it had to do with science and research and that was about all I had, so in

the search box on the computer screen I typed in Dr. Reginald Schlobohm. A whole list of stuff

came up. I found the one that linked to the university he worked at. He was under the research in

bio-engineering department. The Clark Institute for Bio-engineering it was called. He was

professor and lead researcher. He was also on the committee for genetics and also involved with


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a place called the Pearlson Research Center. I read on and it seemed pretty much he was

researching genetic modification. I did a search on what genetic modification meant and it

seemed he was in the business of designer babies. His research made way for parental gene

selectmen. He made it possible, so people could hand pick what their babies would be like. I was

quite taken aback by what I found out. That was what Elizabeth must have meant by saying he

was a professor of blasphemy. She must have somehow known.

Besides that I didnt find anything that seemed relevant.

I went back to the page with all the search results. On the top of the computer screen it

said pictures of Dr. Reginald Schlobohm, so I clicked on what looked like a group photo of abunch of scientists because they all had on lab coats. I read underneath the photo and it said 2005

bio-engineering research conference, nothing very exciting. I scanned the picture and found my

father standing in front with a smug look on his face.

I went back and looked at a couple other pictures and found nothing very compelling.

Then in the search box I typed in photos of Dr. Reginald Schlobohm and the year Elizabeth was

born. I found one that was from a medical journal. It had all the researchers from our fathers

university. I found my father. Then I found somebody I wasnt expecting. It looked like a very

young Mr. Carl. I thought Mr. Carl was only twenty-five or something, boy was I off. Perhaps I

was wrong, but I needed that picture to show my sisters. It wasnt any proof of our mother, but it

showed that lies were being told.

I got up and went to look for the shaggy haired kid. I found him shelving books in the

fiction K-L aisle. Um, excuse me, I called to him once again.

He looked up and smiled at me from underneath his hair.


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I need a picture from the computer, I said thinking I probably sounded very stupid. I

was probably the only teenager who couldnt print a picture from the internet. He stopped what

he was doing and followed me. I sat in my seat and he bent over and showed me what to do.

That too seems pretty simple, I said noticing how easy it was.

It is. He peered at me through his lenses. You know, Im just here to shelve the

books.

Oh, I uttered thinking how I kept pestering him.

It prints over there. He pointed to the printer at the other end of the row of computers.

Well, thank you for assisting me, I replied thinking I should be courteous since he didhelp me.

Are you from this decade?

Excuse me? It took me a second to realize what he was referring to.

Youre too polite. Its not normal.

Really? I was a little confused.

N seriously, youve never used the internet before.

I guess that does seem a little peculiar. Lets just say I dont get out much.

Youre telling me. He looked up at the wall where a large brass clock hung. Well, I

got to go finish up before the bell rings.

Thanks.

He nodded and walked off.

I picked up my bag and went and got my picture from the printer. I looked at it and

underneath in tiny print everybodys name was listed row by row. For Mr. Carl it read, Intern;


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See this woman in the middle row, she observed pointing at the picture with her pinky,

an odd habit that she had. For some reason she didnt have faith in her pointer finger. Who does

she look like?

I looked at the picture and then I took it from her. Holy crap I didnt even notice. Does

she kind of resemble us?

What! Clarissa shrieked snatching the paper from me.

And Isabelle was right. The woman in the middle row, second from the end on the left

hand side looked like us but older. If you did one of those age progression things on us you

probably would have gotten a picture of that woman. And what was the luck that some randompicture I pulled off the internet would have a woman who looked like us, oh, and not to mention

she knew our father. On the bottom it said her name was Grace Fernando. I thought it was the

loveliest name in the world. She had the same Asian facial features as us and pale white skin. We

didnt know if it was a coincidence that she resembled us or if it was more, but I knew my

mission the next day during study hall was to look up Grace Fernando.

.

That evening I had another dream. The screaming was there and so was the darkness, but

this time it was damp like a basement and somebody else was with me. I think it was Elizabeth

maybe. Thats all I was able to recall from it and I was once again left with the lingering

screaming and anxiety.


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Chapter Four

I was really enjoying school, despite the lingering anxiety from my dreams and

everything else. It was our third day. I didnt really talk to anybody, but it was nice just being

around other people. In literature that day, Lawrence, formerly Mr. Russo, talked to me a lot

before class and even after class. I just nodded in response because he was going on and on about

some science fiction movie characters and stuff. He told me how he took a quiz online and he

was most similar to the character of Gwar Czar or something and it totally surprised him because

he really didnt think he was like that. I just nodded some more.

During study hall I went to the library again to use the internet. I needed to find out more

about Grace Fernando. All the computers under the windows were taken and I didnt know if

there was any more anywhere. Shaggy hair kid was there again. He was sitting behind the

circulation desk staring at a computer screen. He had the tip of his pointer finger in his mouth

and looked like he was deeply concentrating. His eyes were fixed on the screen and didnt seem

to move. I didnt want to interrupt him, but I really needed to use the internet again.

Excuse me, I said softly.

He took his finger out of his mouth and held it up, so I patiently waited. About ten

seconds later he looked up. Oh, its you again.

And I see that it is you.

He smiled. His right bicuspid, or canine tooth if you will, caught the edge of his bottom

lip. What did you need?

Are there any other computers besides the ones over there?

He looked in the direction of the computers. No thats all. You know you can sign in at

the computer lab if theres not a class in there.


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Oh, I dont have time for that now. This is very important.

Research paper?

Something like that. I paused and looked back at the computers and hoped somebody

had gotten up. Shoot. I drummed my fingers on the circulation desk.

Need to use the internet?

I nodded.

Do you want me to look something up for you?

I just wanted to jump over that counter and give him a hug. That would be fantastic.

I asked him to search the name Grace Fernando. Barely anything came up besidesblocked x-rated sites. My face instantly dropped.

Well, who is she. Is this for a paper?

No, I said. Its somebody Im looking for, I think.

You think? He asked me pushing up his glasses with his pointer finger.

Oh, I honestly dont know.

Do you live near a library? They have computers there too, so if you have to do more

searching.

I think I do, but that might not work either.

What going to the library?

You dont even know the half of it, I replied in a very sullen tone.

Is it because you need help? I could meet you there if ya want me to, to help you out,

he volunteered leaning back in his chair and crossing his arms over his chest.

I guess I could make something up and phone home. Would it be possible for my sisters

to come along?


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Stuck babysitting, is that what it is?

Oh no, theyre teenagers also, but this pertains to all of us.

Okay, he snickered bobbing his head. My name is Jeremy by the way.

Well nice to meet you. I am Charlotte Ann Schlobohm.

He was snickering again.

I pursed my lips together. I knew what he was trying to contain his laughter about.

Seriously, where are you from? He asked.

We made arrangements to meet by the main entrance and we would all take the bus

together. He said he lived in that direction anyways, so it wasnt putting him out or anything. Heclaimed he really didnt mind. I had to call Ms. Dunderfeltz and tell her we wouldnt be home

right away. Generally we were expected to be home right after school. Ms. Dunderfeltz was to

buzz us in and then we were to stay in and do our homework all night. We didnt have house

keys or anything like that.

.

Isabelle and Clarissa were waiting for me at the main entrance. I quickly told them that

we were going to the library with Jeremy. They knew what it was for, so they were okay with it.

I also told them that I called Ms. Dunderfeltz.

I saw Jeremy walking down the hall towards us. He slouched even when he walked. He did a

double take when he saw the three of us.

Triplets? He asked.

No, were actually each a year apart, I revealed then introducing him to Isabelle and

Clarissa. The four of us left and walked across the expansive front lawn of the school towards the

bus stop. We waited for traffic to clear and crossed the street. Our school sat at the corner of an


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intersection for two busy streets, so there were always cars and trucks and such whizzing by.

There were quite a few people at the bus stop, so when the first bus pulled up most of them

jammed onto it and we had to wait for the next one. Luckily we only had to wait a couple extra

minutes.

We all stood in the back of the bus, there werent any available seats. I held onto the pole

and looked out the window as we went over a river, passed a boys catholic school, a strip mall, a

Bewel grocery store and eventually reached our stop. Jeremy pulled the dingy string, but the bus

kept going.

Hey, he screamed up to the driver. The driver didnt stop, so we ended up getting off atthe next bus stop and walking back in which the direction we came to get to the library. We

found a table in the back of the library, threw all our stuff on it and Jeremy took us over to the

computers. He sat down in the chair in front of the computer and we grabbed chairs and sat

around him.

Okay, I said. Jeremy and I just typed in her name earlier and nothing much came up,

so what else can we search under.

How about the university, Clarissa suggested. She had taken to wearing her hair up in a

ponytail. Her small way of showing some individuality in our new found world.

What about Mr. Carl too because he had to of known her, they were in the picture

together, I added trying to make some sense out of the little bit of information that we had.

That picture you printed yesterday, Jeremy inquired turning in his seat and looking at

us.

Yes, I responded.

So why are we searching for these people? Jeremy asked raising an eyebrow.


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I dont think any of us wanted to tell him what we were doing or any of our family

secrets, but we were going to have to give him some information since he was helping us.

Well, were trying to find out information about our mother, I told him.

Like what?

Who she is, where she is, anything, I vowed hearing myself sound sad when I said it.

So, you dont know her at all? Jeremy asked scratching his neck.

No, nothing, not even a name, Clarissa chirped. Weve never had a chance to look

before.

Oh, that sucks.Why yes it does, Clarissa responded.

We tried to find information about Grace Fernando under the university and there was

absolutely nothing, so then we started to look for Mr. Carl, Dr. Carl Williams as we found out on

the university website. He was an associate professor and also a researcher for the university. We

took down the university address and found a course schedule and decided that perhaps the next

day after school we were going to have to give him a little visit.

Our only problem was getting back home before Ms. Dunderfeltz left for the day. We

probably wouldnt make it. We needed a key. We needed somebody to go and copy the house

key for us. I figured maybe Jeremy could help. All Jeremy did was to offer me computer support

and we were sucking him right in.

Can you do us a favor? I asked him as we were packing up to leave.

Whaddya need, he answered pushing his glasses up on his nose.


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Come home with us and wait outside while we sneak you a key and then go and run to

the hardware store, copy it and bring it back. I bit my lip and looked up at him realizing what I

said sounded totally crazy.

He barely knew us yet we were asking for so much. I knew we were also going to have to

reveal more of our lives to him. So this is what I told him. I told him that we had a crazy

overprotective father that never let us out of the house, well maybe not overprotective, just crazy

and it seemed to finally dawn on him that we needed socialization, or at least thats what we

thought because before we had a private tutor who was turning out to be someone totally

different and since we were supposed to always be in the house we had no keys and our fathernever spoke of our mother and now that we had some freedom we wanted to find answers. I

skipped out the part about Elizabeth.

I stopped talking and watched his face for some sort of expression. He ran his hands through his

hair and said, Thats some crazy stuff.

Why yes it is, Clarissa agreed with him.

Isabelle nodded her head with agreement to his statement.

..

The four of us walked with a quick pace down to our house. We really didnt have much

time. We got to our house and all stood on the sidewalk in front of it. You guys live here, Jeremy asked in what seemed like amazement. My familys

apartment could fit in like a corner of that. Your house is awesome.

Just awesome by appearance only, I murmured.

We had him wait on the side of the house while we were buzzed in.


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What happened next was Clarissa distracted Ms. Dunderfeltz while Isabelle and I

searched for the key ring that had all the household keys on it. I honestly didnt know which one

was the house key, so when I found the key ring in a kitchen drawer I took the whole thing. I

couldnt go out any of the doors or the windows on the first floor because the chime for the

house alarm would go off, but I knew the window in Elizabeths room never had a motion

detector on it. I guess our father thought we would never go out one of the second floor windows

and he was right we never did, until then. I grabbed the key ring and held all the keys together in

my hand so they wouldnt make any kind of jangling sound.

I ran across the house up the stairs and into Elizabeths room where I opened up thewindow and called for Jeremy. He quickly appeared and I threw the key ring at him. I watched

the key ring fly over the roof below and over the green grass and over the tall black wrought iron

fence, where Jeremy threw his hand up in the air and caught it. He smiled up at me, I flashed him

a thumbs up and he was on the way.

We sent him to copy all the keys because as I said earlier we didnt know which one was

the house key. Luckily there was only about five on the key ring. I stood looking out the window

eagerly anticipating his arrival because it was going to be dinner time soon and at dinner we

were expected to be properly on time and clean.

I knew it shouldnt have take too long because the hardware store was pretty much right

down the block. I paced back and forth in Elizabeths room, noting that nothing had changed

since she had died. Everything was as she left it, being in there almost made me feel a little better

because I was in there trying to do as she wanted. I felt connected to her spirit, even thought

Elizabeth always said we had no souls or spirits, other people perhaps, but not us. I used to


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believe that, but I wasnt sure if she was correct or not. I really did feel like she was there talking

to me in my room while I was sleeping. I didnt want to believe it was just my subconscious.

After about thirty-five minutes Jeremy was back.

I opened the window and popped my head out. The brisk fall wind slapping me in the

face.

There was a long line, he said trying not to be too loud.

Thank you so much, I piped wanting to give him a hug again.

The copies are all on the key ring and have little pieces of cardboard wrapped around

them.Okay, just toss them up to me.

Ready.

Yes.

The keys flew through the air making their way back up to me. They were approaching

the window and I reached out and missed. They fell, hit the roof and slid into the gutter. I could

see Jeremy swear under his breath. I instantly stuck one leg out the window, held onto the frame

and pulled out my upper body and other leg.

Jesus, be careful, I heard Jeremy say.

I didnt want to look down. I envisioned Elizabeth laying down there as a five year old

still breathing and then a seventeen year old not breathing. I squatted down, then got on my

hands and knees and very gingerly crawled backwards to the edge, feeling the sand paper like

texture of the roof shingles. I slowly rotated myself so I was parallel with the gutter and snatched

up the keys. My heart was beating like it was the lead in the band.

Careful, Jeremy repeated.


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I crawled back up the roof, through the window and was safely back on the floor in

Elizabeths room once again. I cant thank you enough, I said to Jeremy standing down on the

side walk. He gave me a wave and was off.

I had to get back downstairs and put the keys back. Clarissa and Isabelle were in the front

living room helping Ms. Dunderfeltz dust. I quietly ran past, down though the hall that was off

the foyer that led into the back of the house, through the family room and into the kitchen. I

pulled open the kitchen drawer and dropped the keys inside.

Then I realized I didnt take off the copy keys, so I had to pull the keys out and start with

the struggle of getting the copy keys off the key ring. The key ring was one of those ones whereit was almost like a silver spiral and you have to stick the end through the key and pull the key

on, but I was having some issues pulling it apart. After a few tries I pulled it apart and was able

to slowly pull the keys off. I put the key ring in the drawer and had the copies clasped in my

palm when I heard Ms. Dunderfeltz walk through the kitchen doorway. Clarissa was behind her

mouthing, We tried.

I cant find any scissors, I proclaimed trying to cover my tracks.

Theyre in the other drawer, Ms. Dunderfeltz said pointing to the drawer on the other

side of the sink. Ms. Dunderfeltz was a short round woman with strikingly blond hair that fell to

her chin. Her face was always pink. She looked like she was in a constant state of fluster.

Thanks, I beamed pulling the drawer open and then digging for the scissors.

Dinner will be ready shortly, Ms. Dunderfeltz stated walking over to the stove where

there was a pot with boiling water and another one simmering with some kind of sauce in it.

All right, I replied casually walking out of the kitchen so I wouldnt look suspicious. I

then went upstairs with Isabelle and Clarissa behind me. We gathered in my room on the bed. I


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unfolded my hand and showed them the keys. The only problem now is the security alarm

because if we get back after Ms. Dundefeltz leaves well set the alarm off.

Actually, that isnt a problem, Clarissa chirped sitting up straight. She looked proud

that she held the solution. I watched Ms. Dunderfeltz enter the code when she was leaving a

couple months ago and I remember what it is.

Wonderful, I squeaked knowing that my sisters and I could come and go as we pleased

as long as Ms. Dundefeltz didnt say anything.

I smiled at Clarissa. She was the most outspoken out of us all. She told you exactly what

she thought. Our father always said she was ill mannered because we were brought up to be primand proper young ladies. Clarissa always tried to fight it. She knew thats not what she was like.

So, Clarissa giggled with a grin spreading across her face. Does Jeremy want to be

your boyfriend or what?

No, I dont think so. I barely know him.

Well, why else would he be so eager to help.

Hes nice would be my guess.

No, I bet its cuz he thinks youre pretty. This girl Maria in my biology class sez that

even though Ive only been going to school there a couple days, lots of guys already think Im

hot.

Clarissa had been only going to public school for a few days and she was already picking

up what our father would call the lazy way of speaking. She was going to have no problem

fitting in. Then there was me. I think everybody I talked to thought I was weird, well except for

Lawrence. I had proper English and manners drilled into my brain and it was probably going to

be a while before I could slowly drill them out.


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And you look just like me and well, so does Isabelle, so therefore youre hot too,

Clarissa continued on.

Well, Ill ask him about it tomorrow, I said laying back on my bed and looking at the

ceiling.

You cant just do that, Clarissa almost shouted.

Why?

Cuz, you have to wait till he asks you out.

Why? How do you know this stuff? Youve only been in school for three days.

Isabelle sat crossed legged shaking her head. She was looking back and forth betweenClarissa and I, while we sat there doing a totally normal teenage thing, talking about boys.

I talk to people, Clarissa announced raising her nose in the air. Its called socializing.

You two should try it, she sassed pointing to Isabelle and me.

Well, I have. Ive somewhat socialized with Jeremy. That should count.

You have to talk to more than one person.

No, thats enough for me for now, I think.

Isabelle just shrugged. Ms. Dundefeltz called up and told us to get washed for dinner.


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Chapter Five

The four of us left directly after to school to go down to the university to visit Mr. Carl.

We all sat on the EL watching the city go by. We watched the tops of apartment buildings, back

porches, store fronts, side streets and brick bungalows whiz by. I sat next to the window, Jeremy

was to my left and Isabelle and Clarissa were sitting side by side behind us. I asked Jeremy

earlier in the day if he wanted to come with and he said okay. Clarissa said the only reason I

invited him was because I liked him. I was going to ask him if the only reason he helped us was

because he thought I was pretty, but I decided to let it pass as Clarissa suggested. The train

rattled along and kind of smelled like what I imaged a garbage dump would smell like on a hot

summer day. There were quite a few other people on the train with us, mainly other kids coming

home from school. I was wondering what we would say to Mr. Carl. How exactly should we

approach him? Were we to start right out with, Youre a liar. Im sure hed be wondering why

we were there or how we even found him. I was just hoping he would even talk to us.

This is the stop, Clarissa declared getting up and walking to the train doors. We all got

up and followed her, swaying with the movement of the train.

The doors opened with a swooshing sound and we stepped out onto the train platform.

We followed the crowd and walked to the left down the platform. Side by side we got on an

escalator that took us to the ground. We walked through the turnstile and out to the street corner.

At the light we crossed and walked towards the university. I kind of knew where to go because I

looked at the university map online. Mr. Carl was teaching at the south campus, so we had to

walk across the main campus and cross the street where the south campus was located. As we

walked across campus I took in all the buildings and students milling around. There were

students sitting on cement benches that lined the main walkway across campus. Others were


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darting off to class with their books in hand or with their backpacks on their backs. One student

was riding his bike across campus. The buildings all looked old and historical. Im sure they had

all been there over a hundred years. They were all done in a yellow stone, I had the slightest idea

which one and the corners of the building had bigger stones on them like added embellishments.

They all had ornate carved doorways with scrolls and the year the buildings were built. One of

the buildings said 1891. I was right about being over a hundred years old. An older gentleman

passed with a graying beard and a sport jacket. I wondered if he was a professor and if he was

what did he teach. Was it the sciences or perhaps something in the arts?

I then began to think if the four of us looked out of place walking across a collegecampus. Did people think we were there for a tour, or did they not even question it? I wore my

brown coat and this time I had on a hat. It was one I picked out when we went to the store with

our father. It was peach and very soft and fuzzy, it felt like a rabbit, luckily it was not made of

one. I checked. It was almost the shape of an upside down flower. It fit snuggly around the top of

my head and kind of belled out at the bottom. It was the cheeriest thing I picked out that day.

Clarissa had her hair up in what seemed now to be her signature ponytail and wore a pink ski

vest over her shirt. She kept talking to Jeremy as we walked. It seemed she discovered she liked

talking to other people because our whole lives weve only had each other to talk to. The drill

went something like this.

What year are you? Clarissa asked.

Senior, he replied.

What is your full name?

What?

First, middle, last.


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Why? Are you going to steal my identity? Get a mortgage in my name, a bunch of

charge cards and ruin my credit.

No, Clarissa giggled.

All right then. Jeremy James Moretti.

What are your hobbies?

Uh, music and I like poetry, mainly from the beat generation and music again I guess.

Really, that sounds like you just made it up.

Do you want me to say watching football and drinking?

Well go with the first. Where do you live?Up on the northwest side, way up on the northwest side actually.

Clarissa paused to think of something else to ask and then continued. Where are you

going to college?

Jeremy shrugged. I dunno, thats still in discussion with my mom and stepdad.

Ever kill anybody?

No, well at least not intentionally.

Clarissas mouth fell open.

Im joking.

Good.

Anything else?

When I think of more Ill get back to you.

Jeremy bobbed his head. It kind of made him look like a pigeon.

Isabelle quietly walked along with us just taking in the atmosphere. The tips of her ears

and nose were a rosy pink because she wasnt wearing a hat, just a grass green pea coat. I


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Williams standing up front wearing a tan blazer and talking to a couple students. Jeremy

coughed, which made Mr. Carl look up. He immediately recognized us and excused himself

from the students. He had a puzzled look on his face, his eyebrows were drawn together and his

lips seemed to of twisted themselves up.

What are you girls doing here? He immediately asked.

Were here to see you, Clarissa blurted out.

Does your father know youre here?

No, she responded. Why should that matter anyways?

Why did you lie to us? I asked wanting to cut right to the chase.What do you mean?

I looked around the lecture hall with my eyes. Rows of desk and chairs were tiered to the

top of the room. A white film screen hung down in the front of the room.

Oh, because I didnt tell you girls I was leaving to teach college. Im sorry I didnt get a

chance to say goodbye. I had to start right away.

But youve been working here all along, I pointed out.

He nodded. Yes, your father just didnt want me intermingling any of my personal life

into your school work. He didnt think it was necessary for you to know.

That means you probably knew our mother, Clarissa surmised.

Girls, this isnt the place to be talking about this. You should ask your father.

What, we should ask our father if you knew our mom. Why, when you can just answer

us, I retorted.

I dont mean that, just about your mother in general. Its a very touchy subject. All he

wants to do is protect you girls.


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By keeping us in the house our whole lives and never mentioning a word about her, I

said. I could see we werent getting anywhere. I looked over at Jeremy. He was standing off to

the side pretending to be interested in the surface of a desk. Isabelle stood defensively with her

arms crossed.

Girls, I have to get across campus, Mr. Carl croaked looking at his watch.

Wait, let me ask you one thing, I pleaded pulling off my bag and sticking it on a desk. I

unzipped the front zipper compartment and pulled out the picture I got from the internet. Is this

her, I asked holding the paper up to Mr. Carl with my finger near Grace Fernandos head.

Where did you get that? Mr. Carl asked with bug eyes.The internet, I quickly responded. Well, I said raising my eyebrows.

He nodded his head yes.

So you did know her, Clarissa said a little too loud.

He nodded again. Girls, just leave well enough alone.

What! It was my turn for my voice to get too loud. Why didnt you ever say anything

to us? Where is she? What happened to her? I could feel my face warming and turning pink.

Girls, I cant answer these questions now. I really have to go. He started walking across

the lecture hall. We followed right behind on his heels.

Thats it? Isabelle asked taking her turn to speak up.

He stopped and turned. I honestly dont know what happened to her. One day she was

just gone. I have to go.

But we have so many more questions, I cried out.

He ignored me and walked out the door. We all somberly looked at each other and left

the building.


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Well, that could have gone better, Clarissa groaned.

Nobody said anything after that for a while. We walked back across campus in silence.

While waiting for the train I started thinking out loud. At least we know who our mother is,

right, so we just have to find out where she went and why she left.

How do we do that? Clarissa asked.

I dont know.

How about missing persons? Jeremy suggested.

Huh? Clarissa, Isabelle and I all seemed to say at once.

If she just wasnt there one day maybe somebody filed a missing person report. Thatprofessor guy made it almost sound like a mysterious disappearance or something, ya know.

Yeah, thats a good idea, but what if nobody did? What if it was just something between

our father and her?

Doesnt hurt to try, Jeremy said giving me a half crooked smile. I knew he was just

trying to help. I gave him a meek smile back.

The whole way back on the train I looked at that picture, at Grace Fernando, our mother.

Our mother now had a name. We could actually refer to somebody as our mother. We werent

just our fathers children anymore we were the children of Dr. Reginald Schlobohm and Grace

Fernando. For a moment I felt somewhat happy and sad all at the same time. Happy, that we

actually knew who our mother was, but sad that Elizabeth died not knowing. My happiness

quickly went away and I was overwhelmed by sadness. Jeremy somehow sensed my sadness,

grabbing my hand, holding onto it the rest of the train ride. I only had known him for a handful

of days, but he was quickly becoming the best friend I ever had besides my sisters.


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Jeremy walked us down the block and then we parted ways. I then had to test the keys we

copied on the lock to the gate to figure out which one fit. Third time was charm. We let ourselves

through the gate and then found the other key that belonged to the front door. Ms. Dundefeltz

had already left for the evening, so Clarissa ran across the foyer to enter the code and turn the

alarm off.


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Chapter Six

During study hall I did what had become my routine and that was going to the library. I

didnt go to the computers right away. I went to look for Jeremy so I could thank him. I looked

around the library when I walked in and I didnt see him. I actually saw my literature teacher, a

man wearing a blue jumpsuit and an extremely short red haired girl; I didnt even stop to ponder

the combination of characters. I turned around and looked up and saw Jeremy up in the balcony

shelving books. I went to the other side of the library, up the set of wooden stairs and down over

to Jeremy. I noticed that his jeans were hanging dangerously low on his hips, his brown belt

saving them from the fall.

Hey, I said.

He looked up and smiled. Hi.

Hi. I paused and studied his face for a second. His eyes were a deep brown and lit up

every time he smiled, which he did a lot. He had some stubble growing on his chin and across his

jaw line. I wanted to thank you for all that youve done for us. You barely even know me, but

yet youre so kind, thank you.

My pleasure.

Jeremy.

Yes, he responded his smile getting larger.

After school would you like to get a quick bite to eat? I wasnt exactly sure what I was

doing, but I did know I wanted to spend more time with him.

Why yes I would, he replied bobbing his head.

Wonderful, I now have to go and do some more searching on the internet.

Okay, hope you find something.


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I went back downstairs to the computers where there was one available in the middle

directly under the windows. I was perfectly centered and it pleased me. I drummed my fingers on

the table and thought about where to continue my searching. I decided to start with the police

department website. It wasnt much help to me. I found information on stopping crime in your

neighborhood, becoming a city officer, finding my beat and then I found the missing persons

section. I clicked on it and then hit city wide. A list came up of about eleven people. It didnt

seem like that big of a list for such a large city, but then I saw they only had missing persons for

that year posted. It was pretty sad to think of all those people missing. The one listed on the top

was a little kid. Underneath was a link for an age progression photo of the little girl.I clicked the back button and wrote down a phone number figuring maybe if I called the

police department they could help. I did one more search and found a national missing person

website. I clicked the search missing adults button and chose F from the drop down menu for

searching by last name. I scrolled half way down the page and saw her. Grace Fernando, it said

below her picture. My mother stared back at me. In the picture she looked younger than the one I

had found online the other day. She looked fresh and happy. A small smile was on her face, as if

somebody just told her a wonderful little secret. Her hair was perfectly in place falling down her

back. She looked so much like Elizabeth, so much like us. I touched the screen longing for the

mother I never knew. I could feel tears welling up in my eyes.

Our mother was an actual missing person, which meant she could possibly be alive

somewhere, but why did it take so many years for me to find out just even her name? Was our

father trying to spare us the pain? Were we kept in the house out of fear that we might go

missing? I could feel the warmth of my tears roll down my face. I wiped them away with the

back of my hand. I looked under the picture at the date missing and it made absolutely no sense.


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The date missing was right after Elizabeths birth. It had to be wrong because our mother had

three other children. I sniffled and printed the page. I actually printed the page three times, so I

could also give Isabelle and Clarissa a copy.

.

Jeremy and I stood outside across from a wooden picnic table with yellow peeling paint.

We were at a small shack of a restaurant that served some of the unhealthiest yet most delicious

food available. Jeremy asked me where I wanted to go eat and I said fast food because our father

never let us have any. Jeremy didnt want me to have any ordinary fast food, so he took me to a

place where he claimed my taste buds would be changed forever. The food shack looked like anold, white, wooden dog house, complete with red roof and more peeling paint. We went in.

Inside there was barely enough room for three people to stand side by side. Up high on the wall

was the menu which was all written out by hand in black marker on poster board. On the side of

the big menu drink and shake cups and fry containers were affixed to the wall with all the

different sizes you could order.

I didnt know what to order when it was our turn and there was a line out the door, so Jeremy

stepped in and ordered me an Italian beef. Ya like cheese? He asked. I shook my head and he

had them add mozzarella. He also ordered us both large banana-cookie shakes and fries. A large

man with an extreme amount of oil shining on his forehead rang up our order. I guess its one of

the downfalls of working in that business. He just kind of grunted when he wanted us to pay.

After we paid we went and stood at the other end of the counter to wait for our order.

The woman who gave us our food looked almost like the guy at the front counter, but she had her

hair pulled up into a gray greasy ponytail. Im pretty sure her hair was really blond, but due to

the enormous amounts of grease and oil collected in it, her hair appeared to be gray.


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We took our white paper bag of food over to the picnic table with the peeling paint. The

bag almost instantly turned translucent from all the grease. Jeremy opened the bag and handed

me my Italian beef that was all wrapped up in white paper. I laid it on the picnic table and slowly

peeled away its shell. Inside was a big crazy mess of beef, cheese, French bread like bun and

what was called au jus, the greasy beefy sauce that the Italian beef was cooked in and then the

sandwich was soaked in it. I picked it up and half of it instantly slipped off the bread and hit the

paper that was holding it together just seconds before. I took a bite and Jeremy was right about

the taste buds never being the same again. My tastes buds instantly exploded, they didnt know

how to handle the delicious flavor. I had never tasted anything like it before. I looked up atJeremy who was eating his with more expertise.

Good? He queried.

I cant even find words to describe how delicious this is.

Well, Im glad you like it.

I continued to devour my sandwich. It felt nice sitting outside with the cold city wind

slapping me in the back. I would never of thought of sitting outside during that weather and

eating greasy food, but I found it most enjoyable. All the cars whizzed past on street we sat so

near to. Buses and trucks stopped in front of us and then continued on. People passed on the

sidewalk. A few other people sat at another picnic table also enjoying their helping of greasy

goodness. I then took a sip of my shake. It just kept getting better. I then indulged on some

French fries and ate some more of my Italian beef.

You said that professor guy was your tutor, right, so why again did all of sudden you

start going to regular school? Jeremy asked taking a gulp of his shake and trying to make

conversation.


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I didnt know exactly how to answer his question. Should I share the whole story with

him? He only knew tid bits of my life, he didnt know about Elizabeth. I never spoke of her

death with anyone else. It was still such a fresh wound. I looked down at the greasy paper that

once held my Italian beef. Pain started welling up inside of me. I tried to hold it in, but it felt like

my eyeballs were going to burst, a full flood of tears poured out.

Oh God, Im sorry. I didnt mean to upset you.

No, its just that we had another sister and she just recently died.

Im so sorry. I didnt know.

You couldnt have because I havent told anybody.Jeremy got up and came and sat next to me. He put his arms around me, embracing me in

a hug. It felt perfect. I cried in his shoulder a while and then looked up sniffling. Im sorry, I

said feeling a wave of embarrassment.

You have nothing to be sorry for. He reached up and wiped some tears off my cheek

with his thumb. Ya wanna go walking. It might help ya out somehow, relax ya.

Okay. We threw our trash away and headed down the sidewalk. We walked in silence

for a bit. The air was starting to get colder. You could tell winter was on its way.

I think we were sent to public school because of Elizabeths death. Maybe our dad didnt want

us to be next.

Jeremy looked over at me and raised an eyebrow.

She committed suicide.

Oh my God.

I found her on the bathroom floor. She slit her wrists. I was starting to choke up again.

You dont have to be telling me this. Its okay.


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No, I have to tell somebody. I grabbed his hand and interlaced our fingers. He squeezed

my hand in response. We think maybe he thinks its because he kept us in the house our whole

lives because Elizabeth never really did see the outside world. Sure wed go places on occasion,

generally events honoring our father, but we never really interacted with the world. Im sure that

was part perhaps, but her suicide was much deeper than that.

Jeremy just bobbed his head in understanding and bit his lip with his one bicuspid that

occasionally escaped. A person on a bike rode by, so we moved single file to the side of the

sidewalk. When the biker went by we rejoined hands and continued walking.

My sisters and I always said she was haunted. Shed always have these awful nightmares withthis woman screaming, every night. Elizabeth always said she had a sense of doom about her,

and she actually did, I swear you could look in her eyes and see it. I just wish we could have

done something to save her. Jeremy squeezed my hand again. It was just barely weeks ago. We

were told about a week after her death we were going to regular school. We really didnt have

time to think about it, about anything.

Oh wow, Jeremy said sounding shocked.

Thats why were searching for our mom now, we owe it to her. I had this dream that

she told me to find our mom, so were going to. I chose to skip over the part where I thought

Elizabeth was in my room actually talking to me when I was sleeping and that I was now having

the dreams or

in the image of grace preview

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