in the know understanding the cancer experience

knowunderstanding the cancer experienceknowin

the

Issue 26complimentary

magazine

Men, Women & Cancer

He said...She said: When both partners have cancer

Three couples tell their story

A promise of partnership:Caregiving for your spouse

Understanding risks, prevention and how it affects our relationships

Those submitting manuscripts, photographs, artwork, or other materials to In the Know for consideration should not send originals unless specifically requested to do so by In the Know in writing. Unsolicited manuscripts,

photographs, and other submitted materials must be accompanied by a self-addressed overnight delivery return envelope, postage pre-paid. However, In the Know is not responsible for unsolicited submissions.

©2013 Rio Grande Cancer Foundation. All rights reserved. No part of any article or photograph contained in this magazine may be reproduced in any way without the written consent of In the Know.

In the Know assumes no responsibility whatsoever for errors, including without limitation, typographical errors or omissions in In the Know. Editorial or advertising content in In the Know does not necessarily reflect the

opinions of the publishers. In the Know assumes no responsibility for the products or services advertised in this magazine. Publisher reserves the right to edit any material or refuse any advertising submitted.

inthis issue:When two people make a

commitment to each other, it is

often voiced with the phrase “for

better or for worse, in sickness

and in health.” That’s what we

promised each other on our

wedding day. The problem is that

when we say these vows we most

often don’t comprehend that the

“worse” and the “sickness” may

actually come about and it may

stay. It also may get quite ugly and exhausting.

In this special issue of In the Know: Understanding the

Cancer Experience, we bring you the personal and

inspiring stories of three couples whose marriages have

been blessed with the “better” of family, children,

friendships and other successes. And while many of us can

claim to have experienced the ‘worse’ in the sickness of a

spouse, each of these couples shares a uniquely special

bond in their marriages in that both the husband and the

wife have had cancer. These couples have kept their

relationships strong by always remembering the traits and

beautiful qualities that first attracted them to each other and

keeping them at the center of their world.

My deep personal thanks to Ron and Tycha Stading,

Melissa Offut and Ryan Martinez, and Phil and Lupe

Sanchez for sharing some deeply personal stories with our

readers. I know you will be equally stirred by their

commitment to making their relationships strong through

some incredible challenges.

Michelle Brown presents us with some touching stories

about caregivers and how their lives are impacted by the

cancer diagnosis. Caregivers come in all sizes and profiles,

and every caregiver has their own challenges and ways of

handling stressful situations. There are, however, common

elements, like roles, responsibilities and rights that

transcend branding. Check out Michelle’s practical tips on

caregiving for the caregiver.

Speaking of caring individuals, the Rio Grande Cancer

Foundation is proud to announce the establishment of the

“Wondrous Gilbert Gonzalez Wigorium Fund”. Volunteer

extraordinaire, retired DEA agent, and a self-proclaimed

Beatle mania, Gilbert is a volunteer with The Green House

and a source of help and encouragement to the patients he

assists. For the second time, Gilbert and his Moon Dogs

orchestrated the “Sgt. Pepper’s Wondrous Wigorium”

Beatles concert on May 20, 2013, with the proceeds of the

event benefitting the Foundation’s Four Seasons Beauty

Program. We all get by with a little help from this dear

friend!

Save the date for the 5th annual Keep on Dancing Cancer

Survivor Conference. It will be held on Saturday, August

24, 2013 at the El Paso Wyndham Hotel and will feature

some amazing speakers, programs and opportunities to

learn about thriving beyond a cancer diagnosis. We will

again be raffling off those fabulous baskets, created by our

dedicated KOD committee. That in itself is reason enough

to attend Keep on Dancing! Remember: you must be

present to win!

We hope you will enjoy John Del Rosario’s article about

Hoy Fox and the Lexus commitment to corporate giving,

especially in our community. Long-time supporters of the

Rio Grande Cancer Foundation, we were delighted to

received photos from Steve and Nancy Fox from their

November 2012 trip to New Zealand. Imagine our surprise

to see Jim (President of Toyota Motors USA) and Barbra

Lentz and Yoshi (Chairman, Toyota Motor Sales North

American) and Yoko Inaba sporting our Keep on Dancing

T-shirts! Talk about international exposure!

Patty Tiscareño, Executive Director, RGCF

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9pagepage

Caring for your partner during

cancer treatment can have a

profound impact on your

relationship. Here we meet a

special couple and offer you some

advice on how to take on the role

of caregiver.

Risk & Prevention Partners...for life

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We asked three couples to share their stories about theircancer experience. Our questions covered everythingfrom their diagnosis through treatment and beyond.

Here are their answers.

By Patty Tiscareñoand Izzy Mora

��

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Lupe Sanchez“We were in Mazatlan, Mexico in

September 1996 celebrating my husband’sbirthday when I discovered a lump in myleft breast,” says Lupe Sanchez of thebreast cancer she discovered on her own.“I didn’t want to spoil the trip, so I waiteduntil we got home,” she adds. Subsequenttests, including ultrasounds and a biopsyrevealed the presence of a cancerous tumorin her left breast. The couple was planning a November

trip to Washington, D.C. and asked Lupe’sphysician if they could delay the treatmentuntil after the trip. “I wore my first wig inChristmas 1996”, says Lupe of thesubsequent hair loss due to chemotherapy.A mastectomy in February 1997 wasfollowed by a regime of radiation therapy. It was during a spring break trip to

Disneyland that Lupe’s grandsons expressedconcern about her cancer. “They wereafraid that I would lose my wig on some ofthe rides”, she states. “I did not!”Although she has some issues with lymph

system infections, Lupe has been cancerfree for fifteen years and tells In the Knowthat she and Phil live fully and don’t dreadthe thought of cancer recurring. “Wewelcome each and every new day”, sheadded.Her StoryLupe contends that Phil tried top pick her

up at a bus stop on her way home from herafter high school job in January 1963. “Iignored him”, she states adamantly. Butfate intervened and they ended up ‘acouple’ after a few dates. One inparticular was to a Military Ball in whichthey both had different dates. “I had toattend the ball with an escort since I wasone of the princesses, and I asked Phil toescort my best friend. He has neverforgiven me for that” she adds.After fifty years of marriage, apparently

Phil has forgiven Lupe. How Cancer has changed her lifeA Civil Service employee with the Armed

Forces, Lupe had amassed a good deal ofsick leave when she received her cancerdiagnosis. “All in all, it was really ablessing because I was able to use that sickleave during my daily radiation treatments.Eventually, I was able to retire early due tosome restructuring in the finance offices.” Cancer has impacted her life in

numerous ways. She has more time now tospend doing the things she really enjoys,like Zumba and walking with Phil and her

12We asked three couples to share their

stories about their cancer experience.

Their responses are touching,

sometimes funny and always truly

inspirational.

He said...She said

page

knowunderstanding the cancer experienceknowin

the

Issue 26complimentary

magazine

Men, Women & Cancer

He said...She said: When your partner has cancer

A promise of partnership:Caregiving for your spouse

Understanding risks, prevention and how it affects our relationships

BOARD OF DIRECTORSGordon L. Black, M.D.,

Honorary

Michele Aboud

Robert Ash

Patricia Carter, RN

Ted Edmunds

Sam Faraone

Jeanne Foskett

Monica Gomez

Dan Olivas

Irene Pistella

Shelly Ruddock

Ruben Schaeffer

Ken Slavin

Polly Vaughn

Patti Wetzel, M.D.

Steve Yellen

EXECUTIVE DIRECTORPatricia Tiscareño

PROGRAM OFFICERJutta Ramirez

DIRECTOR OF MARKETINGAND COMMUNICATION

Izzy Mora

OFFICE MANAGER

Cindi Martinez

ADMINISTRATIVE ASSISTANT

Maggie Rodriguez

is published by the

Rio Grande Cancer

Foundation10460 Vista del Sol, Suite 101

El Paso, TX 79925

(915) 562-7660

fax (915) 562-7841

www.rgcf.org

knowin the

by

Snappy [email protected]

El Paso, Texas 79912

(915) 820-2800

4

Cancer and Women

Women are more susceptible to fivedifferent types of cancer in particular,including breast, lung, colorectal, Non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma, and uterine. Womencannot control their genetics andpredisposed hereditary risk for cancers, northe risk factors of their environment (airpollution, chemicals, water contamination),all of which play a strong role in thelikelihood of acquiring cancer.However, certain preventative actions canbe taken in order to avoid your likelihood ofacquiring cancer, including diet, weight,activity level, and smoking.

Though odds are that 2 out of 3 womenwill never get cancer, the ones who havewere mostly affected by these five types.

Breast Cancer - With an estimated226,870 cases in 2012 and 39,510 deathsamong women in the United States,according to the NCI, breast cancer is thesecond most prevalent cancer in females.Age and health history can affect the risk ofdeveloping breast cancer, as well as lifestylechoices.There are also preventive measuresthat can be taken in order to help preventbreast cancer.

Risks

• Age: 2 of 3 women with invasive breastcancer are 55 or older.

• Family history: if your mother, sister, ordaughter has had breast cancer, your riskis doubled.

• Race: White women have a higher riskthan African-American women, though

African-Americans are more likely to diefrom breast cancer, due in part to theprobability of accelerated tumor growth.

• Dense breast tissue• A higher than normal number of menstrual

periods• Prior exposure to radiation• No pregnancies, or having your first

pregnancy after age 30• Hormone replacement therapy/hormone

therapy• Obesity• Alcohol: a study at the University of Oxford

of 1.3 million women over a 7-year period,showed that drinking moderately (1 to 3drinks per week) places you at a higherrisk.

need to know about cancer risks andprevention

Compiled byPatty Tiscareño

whatmenwomen

&

5

Prevention

• Increasing exercise

• Eating healthy foods

• Taking medicines to treat a precancerous

condition or to keep cancer from starting

• Quitting smoking

• Decreasing exposure of breast tissue to

estrogen (pregnancy, breast-feeding,

ovarian ablation, late menstruation, early

menopause)

• Selective estrogen receptor modulators

(SERMs)

• Aromatase inhibitors

• Prophylactic mastectomy (removal of both

breasts with no signs of cancer)

• Prophylactic oophorectomy (removal of

both ovaries with no signs of cancer)

Hodgkin’s lymphoma - also called NHL,

or just lymphoma, is cancer that starts in

cells called lymphocytes, which are part of

the body's immune system. Lymphocytes

are in the lymph nodes and other lymphoid

tissues, such as the spleen and bone

marrow.

In most cases, people diagnosed with

Hodgkin’s lymphoma don't have any obvious

risk factors, and many people who have risk

factors for the disease never develop it.

Researchers have found several factors that

may affect a person’s chance of getting non-

Hodgkin’s lymphoma. There are many types

of lymphoma, and some of these factors

have been linked only to certain types.

Risks

• Age - Getting older is a strong risk factor

for lymphoma overall, with most cases

occurring in people in their 60s or older.

But some types of lymphoma are more

common in younger people.

• Gender -overall, the risk of non-Hodgkin’s

lymphoma is higher in men than in women,

but there are certain types of non-

Hodgkin’s lymphoma that are more

common in women

• Infection - certain viral and bacterial

infections appear to increase the risk of

Hodgkin’s lymphoma. Viruses linked to

increased Hodgkin’s lymphoma risk

include HIV and Epstein-Barr virus.

Bacteria linked to an increased risk of

Hodgkin’s lymphoma include the ulcer-

causing Helicobacter pylori.

• Chemicals - Certain chemicals, such as

those used to kill insects and weeds, may

increase your risk of developing Hodgkin’s

lymphoma. More research is needed to

understand the possible link between

pesticides and the development of

Hodgkin’s lymphoma.

• Immune system deficiency - people with

weakened immune systems have an

increased risk for non-Hodgkin’s

lymphoma. For example, people who

receive organ transplants (kidney, heart,

liver) are treated with drugs that suppress

their immune system to prevent it from

attacking the new organ.

• Autoimmune diseases - Some autoimmune

diseases such as rheumatoid arthritis,

systemic lupus erythematous (SLE or

lupus), celiac sprue (gluten-sensitive

enteropathy), and others have been linked

with an increased rate of non-Hodgkin’s

lymphoma.

• Body weight and diet - studies have

suggested that a diet high in fat and meats

may raise your risk.

Prevention

The best way to reduce the risk for non-

Hodgkin’s lymphoma is to try to prevent

known risk factors such as immune

deficiency.

Uterine - Endometrial cancer is a cancer

that starts in the inner lining of the womb

(uterus). Nearly all cancers of the uterus

start in the endometrium. They are called

endometrial carcinomas. Cancers can also

start in the muscle layer of the uterus.

These cancers belong to the group of

cancers called sarcomas.

In this country, cancer of the endometrium is

the most common cancer found in women’s

reproductive organs. The chance of a

woman having this cancer during her

lifetime is about one in 38.

Risks

• Hormone factors - such as a shift in the

balance between estrogen and

progesterone

• Estrogen therapy - using estrogen to treat

symptoms of change of life is known as

estrogen therapy or menopausal hormone

therapy. Studies show that giving

progesterone-type drugs along with the

estrogens helps lower the risk of

endometrial cancer. But studies also show

that giving this combination of the

hormones increases a woman's chance of

getting breast cancer and blood clots.

• Use of birth control pills

• Total number of menstrual cycles

(periods): Having more periods during a

woman's lifetime raises her risk of

endometrial cancer.

• Pregnancy - during pregnancy, the

hormone balance shifts toward more

progesterone. So having many

pregnancies reduces endometrial cancer

risk. Women who have never been

pregnant have a higher risk.

• Obesity

• Use of Tamoxifen, a drug that is used to

treat women with breast cancer and to

reduce the risk in women who are at a

high risk of getting breast cancer.

• Ovarian tumors: A certain type of ovarian

tumor makes estrogen. Women who have

these tumors have higher than normal

estrogen levels.

• Polycystic ovarian syndrome: Women with

polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS) have

hormone levels that are not normal, such

as higher androgen (male hormones) and

estrogen levels and lower levels of

progesterone. The increase in estrogen

compared to progesterone can increase a

woman's chance of getting endometrial

cancer.

• Use of an IUD (intrauterine device)

• Age – the risk of endometrial cancer goes

up as a woman gets older

• Diet and exercise - a high-fat diet can

increase the risk of many cancers,

including endometrial cancer.

• Diabetes is more common in people who

are overweight. This could be why

diabetes is a risk factor for endometrial

cancer.

• Family history- endometrial cancer

appears to run in some families who also

tend to get colon cancer.

• Breast or ovarian cancer - women who

have had breast cancer or ovarian cancer

may have a higher risk of getting

endometrial cancer. Some of the risk

factors for breast and ovarian cancer also

increase endometrial cancer risk.

• Endometrial hyperplasia is an increased

growth of the endometrium. The most

common type has a very small risk of

becoming cancer.

It is important to keep in mind that although

these factors may increase a woman's risk

for getting endometrial cancer, they do not

always cause the disease. Many women

with one or more of these risk factors never

get endometrial cancer, and some women

with endometrial cancer do not have any of

these risk factors.

Prevention

Although most cases of endometrial cancer

cannot be prevented, there are some things

that may lower your risk of getting this

disease.

• Increasing exercise


• Getting to and maintaining a healthy

weight

• Careful consideration of the use of

estrogen to treat the symptoms of

menopause

66

Cancer and MenEvery year, cancer claims the lives of nearly

300,000 men in America. Men can reduce

their risk for several of the most common

kinds of cancer through simple lifestyle

changes. The following are the types of

cancer occurring most often in men and tips

about how to do your part to prevent getting

them within the parameters you can control.

Knowing you are able to take action will set

your mind at ease in the future as you age.

Being healthy and active are the best ways

to prevent cancer, as well as receiving

routing screenings, if necessary.

Lung Cancer claims the highest number of

men’s lives in American, over any other type

of the disease. The main cause in the

majority of cases is cigarette smoking which

also causes cancers of the esophagus,

larynx, throat, mouth, kidney, pancreas,

stomach, bladder and acute myeloid

leukemia.

Risks• Smoking

• Family history of lung cancer

• Secondhand smoke

• Radon gas

• Arsenic

• Tar soot

• Asbestos

• Beta carotene supplements in heavy

smokers

Prevention• Increasing exercise





• Not smoking

• Lower exposure to workplace risk factors

• Lower exposure to radon gas

Prostate Cancer is the second most

common cause of cancer death in men and

usually occurs in older men. The NCI

estimates that 241,000 new cases were

found and 28,170 deaths related to prostate

cancer occurred in 2012. The average age

for being diagnosed with prostate cancer is

67 years old and the median age for death

from the disease was 80 years old,

according to data from the American Cancer

Society. Here are some of the risks and

ways to avoid getting the disease.

Risks• Age: prostate cancer is rare in men under

50, chances increase with older age

• Family history: if a relative has had

prostate cancer, there is a higher-than-

average risk that you will have it also

• Race: prostate cancer occurs more

frequently in African-American men than in

white men

• Receiving a proper amount of

testosterone, as too much can lead to the

development of prostate cancer

• Vitamin E taken alone

• A diet high in dairy and calcium may cause

a small increase in risk






• Not smoking

• Lower exposure to workplace risk factors

• Lower exposure to radon gas

Colon and Rectal Cancer - Another family

of cancers affecting mainly individuals age

50 and older, colon and rectal cancer can

be treated and stopped with screening and

early treatment. Abnormal cells usually take

10 to 15 years to develop in the colon,

therefore early detection is key. Getting

tested and having polyps removed before

they become abnormal can control

colorectal cancer. It is estimated that 73,420

new cases of this type of cancer were

diagnosed in men in 2012.

Risks• Age: risk increases after age 50.

• Family history: having a parent, sibling, or

child, who has had colorectal cancer or

polyps doubles your risk.

• Personal or family history of inflammatory

bowel disease

• Obesity

• Drinking 3 or more alcoholic beverages

daily increases risk.

• Cigarette smoking






• Aspirin: taking aspirin every day for at

least 5 years decreases the risk of

colorectal cancer and subsequent death.

Prolonged use of aspirin gives a high risk

of bleeding in the intestines, stomach, or

brain, however.

•Polyp removal

On a final noteSkin cancer is the most common cancerin the United States. The two most

common kinds of skin cancer—basal cell

and squamous cell carcinomas—are highly

curable. But melanoma, the third most

common skin cancer, is more dangerous.

About 65%–90% of melanomas are caused

by exposure to ultraviolet (UV) light—an

invisible kind of radiation that comes from

the sun, tanning beds, and sunlamps.

Overall, men have higher rates of

melanoma. But among young people,

women get it more.

A few serious sunburns can increase your

risk of skin cancer. To protect your skin from

the sun, seek shade or go indoors during

midday hours; wear long sleeves and long

pants, a hat with a wide brim, and

sunglasses; use sunscreen with a sun

protective factor (SPF) of 15 or higher; and

avoid indoor tanning.

The number of new cancer cases can be

reduced, and many cancer deaths can be

prevented. Research shows that screening

for cervical and colorectal cancers as

recommended helps prevent these diseases

by finding precancerous lesions so they can

be treated before they become cancerous.

Screening for cervical, colorectal, and

breast cancers also helps find these

diseases at an early, often highly treatable

stage.

Vaccines also help reduce cancer risk.

The human papillomavirus (HPV) vaccine

helps prevent most cervical cancers and

some vaginal and vulvar cancers, and the

hepatitis B vaccine can help reduce liver

cancer risk. Making cancer screening,

information, and referral services available

and accessible to all Americans can reduce

cancer incidence and deaths.

References:

1. American Cancer Society. “Cancer Facts and Figures.”

http://www.cancer.org/research/cancerfactsfigures/index.

2. National Cancer Institute. “Cancer Causes and Risk

Factors.” http://www.cancer.gov/cancertopics/causes.

3. WebMD Health News

cancer and men:risks & prevention

7

The Prostate Specific Antigen (PSA) cancer

screening test is a simple blood test that measures

the blood levels of PSA, the molecule specific to the

cells that make up the male prostate gland. Prostate

cancer disrupts prostate cells and causes the release

of PSA into the blood.

The PSA test was originally developed as a way to

detect recurrence in men having already been treated

for prostate cancer, since a higher level of PSA

indicates a likelihood of cancer. Armed with this test,

physicians began giving the test to healthy men with

no symptoms of prostate cancer and by 1991, routine

PSA screenings became widespread in the U.S. – a

year before the start of the first large clinical trial

designed to see if PSA screenings actually saved

lives.

But because PSA blood levels go up for reasons

other than cancer- such as benign prostatic

hyperplasia (enlarged prostate) or prostatitis

(infection of the prostate), experts deduce that the

potential harm outweighs the benefit. For the PSA

test to save one man’s life from prostate cancer,

1,000 men must be screened.

In May 2012, the United States Preventive Services

Task Force (USPSTF), an independent agency

composed of experts in preventive medicine, issued

new recommendations against prostate cancer

screening. That recommendation stated that

regardless of age, men without symptoms should not

routinely have the prostate-specific antigen (PSA)

blood test to screen for prostate cancer.

USPSTF Co-Chair Michael LeFevre, M.D., M.S.P.H.

explained that “Prostate cancer is a serious health

problem that affects thousands of men and their

families. But before getting a PSA test, all men

deserve to know what the science tells us about PSA

screening: there is a very small potential benefit and

significant potential harm. We encourage clinicians to

consider this evidence and not screen their patients

with a PSA test unless the individual being screened

understands what is known about PSA screening and

makes the personal decision that even a small

possibility of benefit outweighs the known risk of

harms.”

And yet, many urologists and patient advocates say

otherwise. After skin cancer, prostate cancer is the

most diagnosed and most treated cancer in the

United States. Physicians who support regular PSA

screenings reason that they’ve seen too many men

die painfully from prostate cancer and that kind of

experience influences opinion much more than

statistics.

Because the USPSTF did not recommend PSA

screenings, in fact the panel recommended against it

– Medicare is not forced to pay for the screening

tests. At present, Medicare continues to pay for PSA

screenings for men who want it. However, under the

Affordable Care Act, private insurers will not be

required to cover PSA testing. Whether they will

continue to cover it remains a question.

So the question remains… to screen or not to screen.

What’s a man to do?

The American Cancer Society recommends that men

discuss the possible risks and benefits of prostate

cancer screening with their doctor before deciding

whether to be screened. The discussion about

screening should take place at age 50 for men who

are at average risk of prostate cancer and at age 45

for men who are at higher risk, including African-

American men.

Sources: WebMD Health News

American Cancer Society

The PSA controversy:

To screen or not to screen…that is the question

The American Cancer Society

recommends these screening

guidelines for most adults.

Breast cancer

• Yearly mammograms are

recommended starting at age 40 and

continuing for as long as a woman is in

good health

• Clinical breast exam (CBE) about

every 3 years for women in their 20s

and 30s and every year for women 40

and over

• Women should know how their breasts

normally look and feel and report any

breast change promptly to their health

care provider. Breast self-exam (BSE)

is an option for women starting in their

teens.

Colorectal cancer and polyps

Beginning at age 50, both men and

women should follow one of these

testing schedules:

• Flexible sigmoidoscopy every 5 years,

or

• Colonoscopy every 10 years, or

• Double-contrast barium enema every 5

years

• CT colonography (virtual colonoscopy)

every 5 years

Tests that primarily find cancer

• Yearly fecal occult blood test

• Yearly fecal immunochemical test

Cervical cancer

• Cervical cancer screening (testing)

should begin at age 21. Women under

age 21 should not be tested.

• Women between ages 21 and 29

should have a Pap test every 3 years.

Now there is also a test called the HPV

test. HPV testing should not be used in

this age group unless it is needed after

an abnormal Pap test result.

• Women between the ages of 30 and

65 should have a Pap test plus an

HPV test (called “co-testing”) every 5

years. This is the preferred approach,

but it is also OK to have a Pap test

alone every 3 years.

• Women over age 65 who have had

regular cervical cancer testing with

normal results should not be tested

for cervical cancer. Once testing is

stopped, it should not be started

again. Women with a history of a

serious cervical pre-cancer should

continue to be tested for at least 20

years after that diagnosis, even if

testing continues past age 65.

• A woman who has had her uterus

removed (and also her cervix) for

reasons not related to cervical cancer

and who has no history of cervical

cancer or serious pre-cancer should

not be tested.

• A woman who has been vaccinated

against HPV should still follow the

screening recommendations for her

age group.

Endometrial (uterine) cancer


recommends that at the time of

menopause, all women should be told

about the risks and symptoms of

endometrial cancer. Women should

report any unexpected bleeding or

spotting to their doctors.

Lung cancer

The American Cancer Society has

screening guidelines for individuals who

are at high risk of lung cancer due to

cigarette smoking. If you meet all of the

following criteria then you might be a

candidate for screening:

• 55 to 74 years of age

• In fairly good health

• Have at least a 30 pack-year smoking

history AND are either still smoking or

have quit smoking within the last 15

years

Prostate cancer


recommends that men make an

informed decision with their doctor about

whether to be tested for prostate cancer.

Starting at age 50, men should talk to a

doctor about the pros and cons of

testing so they can decide if testing is

the right choice for them. If they are

African American or have a father or

brother who had prostate cancer before

age 65, men should have this talk with a

doctor starting at age 45. If men decide

to be tested, they should have the PSA

blood test with or without a rectal exam.

How often they are tested will depend

on their PSA level.

Cancer-related check-ups

For people aged 20 or older having

periodic health exams, a cancer-related

check-up should include health

counseling and, depending on a

person’s age and gender, exams for

cancers of the thyroid, oral cavity, skin,

lymph nodes, testes, and ovaries, as

well as for some non-malignant (non-

know more>

American Cancer

Society Guidelines for

the Early Detection of

Cancer

8

Acancer diagnosis is

something that most married

couples never expect and

knowing what to do for your

spouse depends on several

factors. Your spouse may be newly

diagnosed, dealing with metastatic cancer,

in remission or living in a kind of limbo

not knowing whether the cancer is gone.

Being a supportive spouse can be both a

rewarding and a difficult role. Most

couples agree that the most important

aspect of being supportive is continuing to

be a loving presence in your spouse’s life

during this time and making the process

easier for yourself and your spouse.

Supporting One Another - Even though

your spouse has been diagnosed with

cancer, the experience with illness is

happening to both of you. Many of the

routines that you as a couple have come to

embrace in your daily lives are quickly

disrupted and emotions and concerns

surface instantaneously. As a couple

begins to confront the issues and

challenges, it becomes extremely

reassuring to know that the both of you are

facing the illness together and support for

each other is unwavering regardless of

what happens.

Sharing With One Another - This is an

important time to discuss and share each

other’s feelings about your cancer and not

assume to know what your spouse is

thinking or feeling about the cancer. Set

some time aside and sit down with your

spouse to really talk about issues and make

a mental checklist of what his or her needs

really are. Encourage your spouse to not

hold back and confide in you, offering each

comfort and support during this difficult

time.

Stick to the Reason You Are Together –

A cancer diagnosis can quickly become a

part of who your spouse is, but don’t let it

define them. Focus on the qualities that

you love about your spouse – a giving

spirit, a beautiful smile, a wonderful sense

of humor. All those qualities are still there

and are still a big part of your lives.

Being a supportive spouse will garner a

greater understanding of the depth and

strength of your marriage. Many of the life

skills that you were not prepared for before

may be the ones that you pick up during

this difficult time. Confronting the

challenges will make a huge difference in

the quality of life and the quality of your

relationship.

A promise of Partnership

Cancer can test and strengthen the bond between you

Reprinted from : http://www.cancerlynx.com

9

10

By Michelle J. Brown

It’s the moment your entire life tilts

completely off its axis. As any person with

cancer and his or her family and friends know,

a cancer diagnosis greatly impacts everyone.

Sometimes, the complex feelings and lifestyle

changes caused by cancer and its treatment

become as overwhelming for caregivers as

they are for the patient. Understanding the

potential changes in the way everyone relates

to each other may help you take steps to foster

healthy, mutually supportive relationships

during this challenging time.

Caregivers--those who provide physical,

emotional, spiritual, financial and/or logistical

support to a person diagnosed with cancer—

recognize the critical importance of their role

and accepting help when needed.

“Faith and family, that’s what it’s all about,”

said Irma Ybarra, life partners for 37 years

with Rosa Beltran.

When Rosa was first diagnosed in 1992

with Non-Hodgkin’s Lymphoma, Irma was

still working at the Fort Bliss Dental Clinic.

Rosa’s sister primarily took care of her during

days, along with lots of help from nieces and

nephews in both their large families.

Physicians declared remission after eight years

until three years ago when glioblastoma set in,

the most common and aggressive malignant

primary brain tumor in humans.

“By then I was retired, so for those four

months, I was her full-time caregiver and at

times, it was very challenging,” she explained.

“I had to learn patience because Rosa’s strong

personality and fierce independence often kept

her from being receptive to help. I had to

understand her limits and boundaries when

she’d be adamant about preferring to do things

herself, be it bathing or dressing.

“As a caregiver, it’s a delicate balance but

you must respect their needs and monitor your

frustrations when you perceive that they aren’t

cooperating or are taking chances or risks. But

no matter how hard you try, recognize that

you can’t always make them happy or please

them every time and that’s okay. You do what

you can do, accept outside help whenever

possible, be it from family, friends or home

health professionals and most of all, love

them!”

Their nieces and nephews from El Paso and

Juarez often brought breakfast or lunch

several times a week, while also assisting with

yard work and home improvements. Irma still

keeps a journal and credits her coping and

progress after Rosa’s passing to family, church

and ongoing monthly dinners of the Healing

Hearts Grief Support members, originally

sponsored by Rio Grande Cancer Foundation.

“Rosa loved the outdoors and nature, so she

kept roses and trees and flowers and did much

of our landscaping by herself,” said Irma.

“Now with the help of family, I keep her

garden growing and add to it as needed and

we enjoy wonderful times together relishing

our memories and creating wonderful new

ones. Rosa’s niece said to me then, ‘We loved

our aunt so much and she loved us. She’s

gone, but she left us you and we have you and

you’re our family!”

Some caregivers find themselves the sole

source to meet the needs of their loved ones

with cancer.

As an only child of a divorced mom, Blanca

Lopez dedicated four years to caregiving

when her mother Olga Sanchez developed

ovarian cancer.

“Immediately upon her diagnosis, I knew

she would need a lot of help,” explained

Blanca, Professional Development

Coordinator for Ysleta Independent School

District. “Mom moved in with me to facilitate

her care, but I also had to see after her home,

her bills, the doctors’ and treatment

appointments, medication management, as

well as my full-time job and ongoing doctoral

studies at the time.

“It’s natural to feel tired and overwhelmed,

but you do it because you love them,” she

explained, stressing that caregivers must allow

themselves downtime to rest and re-energize

to be the best caregiver possible. “I

recognized it as my responsibility and

privilege and as a result of that journey, we

connected in amazing ways I never realized

were possible.”

There were no siblings to assist, but

sometimes even when other family is around,

the vast bulk still often falls to one person.

And like many children caring for parents in

treatment, roles promptly reverse.

“Mom was always my example,” reflects

Blanca. “She taught me so I could be there for

her. My caregiving experience made me

understand the importance of loving,

encouraging, listening and patience. All my

life, I looked to her for soothing and

assurance, but now it was my turn to alleviate

her worries and fears. Sometimes you get so

close that frustrations mount and we’d argue

like little sisters—it’s part of the process. You

do what you need to do to be there for them--

supporting and respecting their wishes,

simplifying things as much as possible,

keeping them calm and comfortable and

spending every moment possible together.”

Blanca said time should be the most

precious priority regardless of a loved one’s

health status.

“It’s easy to take each other for granted and

forget how cherished family and friends are,”

she said. “Life is so short. Every moment is an

opportunity to share, even if it’s

complimenting a person you don’t know. Be

grateful and appreciative because people are

important and you can make a difference.”

“I know I did the most I could and the best

I could for my Mom, and I wouldn’t change a

thing, but I still wish we had shared more

chances for quality time, even another movie

together or a quiet evening. Cherish all your

loved ones every chance you get, because

tomorrow is guaranteed to no one.”

A promise of Partnership

“Faith and family, that’s what it’s all about,”

said Irma Ybarra, life partners for 37 years

with Rosa Beltran. CaregivingOne couple’s story of strength and support

11

1. Find YOUR Support System. When a

friend or loved one is diagnosed with cancer,

it’s an emotional time. Roles and

expectations may change (or you may

wonder if they are going to change).

Sometimes it’s difficult to talk with your

loved one about your feelings, because you

both have so much going on. Many find one

of the best ways to cope with stress,

uncertainty, and loneliness is to talk to

others who share similar experiences. You

can learn from personal experiences about

how to be effective in your new role as a

caregiver. Contact The Green House at the

Rio Grande Cancer Foundation for more

information. If you need additional in-

person support, physicians’ offices and

hospitals are also great places to seek

referrals. Only you can determine what type

of support works best for you. What

typically doesn’t work is not seeking any

support at all.

2. Gather Information. There is truth to the

phrase, “Knowledge is power.” There’s no

way to completely grasp the ups and downs

of a cancer diagnosis and treatment – and

you shouldn’t be expected to. Being armed

with knowledge may help you accommodate

your loved one’s needs, however, and put

you at ease because you know what to

expect.

3. Recognize a “New Normal.” Patients and

caregivers alike report feeling a loss of

control after a cancer diagnosis. Many

caregivers are asked for advice about

medical decisions or managing family

finances and/or need to take on new day-to-

day chores. It is likely that your tasks as a

caregiver will create new routines – after all,

you’re taking on a new role in the patient’s

life as well as your own. It is important to

acknowledge that your home life, finances,

and friendships may change for a period of

time. Sometimes the laundry might not get

done, or maybe takeout will replace home

cooking. Try to manage each day’s priority

as it comes – it’s okay to put other tasks on

hold. Take a deep breath and realize that the

support you provide is priceless.

4. Relieve Your Mind, Recharge Your Body.

It can be easy to feel overwhelmed by the

tasks of caregiving. Mini-breaks are an easy

way to replenish your energy and lower your

stress. Try simple activities like taking a

walk around the block or closing your eyes

for 10 minutes in a comfortable chair.

Taking time for yourself is not selfish – it’s

necessary. You are working hard to provide

and secure the best care for your loved one.

Time spent recharging your mind and body

will allow you to avoid depression or

burnout. Research shows the person you’re

caring for benefits most when you are

healthy and your life is balanced.

5. Take Comfort in Others. Caregiving can

sometimes take a great deal of time. Many

caregivers feel a loss of personal time over

the course of their loved one’s illness. Keep

in mind that while you are taking on new

and additional responsibilities, you are still

allowed a life of your own.Many seasoned

caregivers advise that you continue to be

involved with your circle of friends and

family. For some, remaining involved might

mean playing an active role in school or

community activities. For others, it may

mean weekly visits with a best friend. Only

you can determine the level of involvement

that is right for you, and that level may

change over time. No matter your choice, it

is certain that you will appreciate having

someone to turn to as you care for your

loved one.

6. Plan for the Future. A common feeling

among caregivers and people with cancer is

uncertainty. It’s hard to know what the

future holds. While planning may be

difficult, it can help. Try to schedule fun

activities on days when your loved one is

not feeling the side effects of treatment. You

can also give yourselves something to look

forward to by planning together how you

will celebrate the end of treatment, or a

portion of treatment. Planning for a future in

the long-term is also important and can be

increasingly stressful for a caregiver when

sometimes, two futures are being planned –

one based on survival and the other based on

the possibility of losing your loved one. All

of us, whether we have been diagnosed with

cancer or not, should have in place

necessary paperwork such as healthcare

agent, power of attorney and a will. You

can ask your loved one if he or she needs, or

wants, assistance. It is in everyone’s best

interest that you begin this process sooner

rather than later. Having essential paperwork

under control will allow you to have peace

of mind.

7. Accept a Helping Hand. It’s okay to have

‘helpers.’ In fact, you may find that learning

to let go and to say “YES!” will ease your

anxiety and lift your spirits. People often

want to chip in, but aren’t quite sure what

type of assistance you need. It’s helpful to

keep a list of all caregiving tasks, small to

large. That way, when someone asks, “Is

there anything I can do?” you are able to

offer specific choices.

8. Be Mindful of YOUR Health. In order to

be strong for your loved one, you need to

take care of yourself. It’s easy to lose sight

of your own health when you’re focused on

your loved one. But if your own health is in

jeopardy, who will take care of your loved

one? Be sure to tend to any physical

ailments of your own that arise – this

includes scheduling regular checkups and

screenings. And just like your mother told

you: eat well and get enough sleep.

9. Control Stress. Even if you’ve never

practiced mind-body exercises before, you

may find that meditation, yoga, listening to

music, or simply breathing deeply will

relieve your stress. Research shows that

these practices can enhance the immune

system as well as the mind’s ability to

influence bodily function and relieve

symptoms. Mind-body (or stress-reduction)

interventions use a variety of techniques to

help you relax mentally and physically.

Examples include meditation, guided

imagery, and healing therapies that tap your

creative outlets such as art, music or dance.

If this interests you, seek out guidance or

instruction to help you become your own

“expert” on entering into a peaceful,

rejuvenated state.

10. Do What You Can, Admit What You

Can’t. Even seasoned caregivers find

themselves caught up in the whirlwind of

appointments, daily errands and medicine

doses. No one can do everything. It’s OK

to acknowledge your limits. Come to terms

with feeling overwhelmed (it will happen)

and resolve to be firm when deciding what

you can and cannot handle on your own.

Your loved one needs you. You cannot do

this alone. Together, you can get through.

Source: cancersupportcommunity.org

Tips for caregiversFinding out a loved one has cancer can be overwhelming. Cancer affects not only the person diagnosed, but all those who care aboutthat person. You may be wondering, “What should I do now?” Believe and remember that you have the ability to make a difference.The following ten tips are intended to help you tackle the challenges of caregiving for caregivers

.

12

He Said...She Said...

We asked three couples to share their stories about theircancer experience. Our questions covered everythingfrom their diagnosis through treatment and beyond.

Here are their answers.

By Patty Tiscareñoand Izzy Mora

She saysLupe Sanchez“We were in Mazatlan, Mexico in

September 1996 celebrating my husband’sbirthday when I discovered a lump in myleft breast,” says Lupe Sanchez of thebreast cancer she discovered on her own.“I didn’t want to spoil the trip, so I waiteduntil we got home,” she adds. Subsequenttests, including ultrasounds and a biopsyrevealed the presence of a cancerous tumorin her left breast. The couple was planning a November

trip to Washington, D.C. and asked Lupe’sphysician if they could delay the treatmentuntil after the trip. “I wore my first wig inChristmas of 1996”, says Lupe of thesubsequent hair loss due to chemotherapy.A mastectomy in February 1997 wasfollowed by a regime of radiation therapy. It was during a spring break trip to

Disneyland that Lupe’s grandsons expressedconcern about her cancer. “They wereafraid that I would lose my wig on some ofthe rides”, she states. “I did not!”Although she has some issues with lymph

system infections, Lupe has been cancerfree for fifteen years and tells In the Knowthat she and Phil live fully and don’t dreadthe thought of cancer recurring. “Wewelcome each and every new day”, sheadded.

Her StoryLupe contends that Phil tried top pick her

up at a bus stop on her way home from herafter school job in January 1963. “Iignored him”, she states adamantly. Butfate intervened and they ended up ‘acouple’ after a few dates. One inparticular was to a Military Ball in whichthey both had different dates. “I had toattend the ball with an escort since I wasone of the princesses, and I asked Phil toescort my best friend. He has neverforgiven me for that” she adds.After fifty years of marriage, apparently

Phil has forgiven Lupe. How Cancer has changed her lifeA Civil Service employee with the Armed

Forces, Lupe had amassed a good deal ofsick leave when she received her cancerdiagnosis. “All in all, it was really ablessing because I was able to use that sickleave during my daily radiation treatments.Eventually, I was able to retire early due tosome restructuring in the finance offices.” Cancer has impacted her life in

numerous ways. She has more time now tospend doing the things she really enjoys,like Zumba and walking with Phil and her

13

beloved cocker spaniels. She also volunteersher time and energy at Sierra Medical Centerand along with her husband, helps coordinatean El Paso effort of the American CancerSociety CPS-3 (Cancer Prevention ResearchStudy Three). When they aren’t working in thefamily business, Rio Industrial Supply, thecouple loves to travel.

Who is the more sensitive one in yourrelationship?Me. Definitely me.What is your spouses’ best feature?Phil’s best feature is that he never holds agrudge!What is the sweetest thing yourspouse did for you during your cancerexperience?He agreed with me to postpone my cancertreatment until we had taken our WashingtonD.C. trip. If you had to choose a song or afamous couple who best representsyou, what would it be?“He’s So Fine” has been our theme song foralmost fifty years. And, I think we areprobably most akin to Sonny and Cher. I wasvery shy and Phil was most assertive when wemet. Prior to meeting him, I had seriouslyconsidered becoming a nun.

Phil SanchezPhil is one of those rare men who have

always made adherence to his health apriority. Every year in September, his birthdaymonth, Phil scheduled his annual urologicalexam, which included measuring his PSA leveland a Digital Rectal Exam (DRE). For twelveyears, the standard reply from his urologistwas “all’s well… see you next year”. In 2006, the PSA level came back at 2.3

when in the past it had always presentedbelow 1.00. On the advice of his physicianand with the support of his wife, Lupe, Phil

opted to wait several months and repeat theexam. The subsequent exam yielded a 4.4PSA score and the biopsy concluded aprostate cancer diagnosis. The good newswas that the cancer was contained and hadnot spread beyond the immediate area.Phil, Lupe and their medical team weighed

all the options, including surgery, radiationand even “wait and see”. The right choice forPhil turned out to be 46 radiation therapytreatments and two hormone therapytreatment. Interestingly, the radiationoncologist was the same physician who hadtreated Lupe Sanchez in 1997 for her ownbreast cancer.In January 2008, Phil was declared ‘cancer

free’ but continues to adhereto annual check- upswith his urologist.

His StoryIn 1963,

PhilSanchezwas homeon leavefrom a twoyear overseasassignment in theFar East for the AirForce. He was sporting auniform, a cavalier attitude and a new car,which he was on his way to show his bestfriend, when he spotted a ‘foxy’ girl gettingoff the bus. Being the gentlemen he was, heoffered the young lady a ride, which sheadamantly refused! “Well, that’s that,”thought Phil.A few days later, Phil and his friend

decided to double date and he was dubiouslysurprised to see that Lupe, the fox from the busstop, was his friend’s date! Phil’s persistenceand charisma ultimately wore her down andin May 1963 they got engaged and weremarried in December 1963.Phil and Lupe Sanchez will celebrate their

50th wedding anniversary in December2013, and throughout those years, their liveshave been peppered with times of great joysas well as great sorrows. Their unionproduced three children, Michael, Rosemaryand Phillip, who died at the age of twenty-fivemonths from a fall. They are blessed withthree grandsons, Max, who works for ExxonMobile in Fairfax, Virginia, Philip, a free-lancephotographer in Hollywood, California andNicholas who works with his grandparents intheir family business.

How Cancer has changed his lifeHaving undergone treatment for his cancer

that affected his hormones, Phil has a deeperappreciation for the plight of women whosuffer through hormone changes. “I had sideeffects like hot flashes, weight gain, pain inmy joints and night sweats”, says Phil. Cancer has impacted his life in numerous

ways. He puts his appreciation for life, hisgood health and the need to help his fellowman as priorities since his recovery. Both heand his wife, Lupe are involved with theAmerican Cancer Society CPS-3 (CancerPrevention Research Study Three) and helpcoordinate the enrollment of study participantsconsisting of men and women between theages of 30 and 65 who have never been

personally diagnosed with cancer andare willing to make a long-termcommitment to the study. Philasserts that “it’s important forme to share what I knowabout the cancer experiencewith others. Since my ownexperience, my friendshipsand family relationships have

grown ever stronger”.Who is the more sensitiveone in your relationship?My wife is the one who criesat sappy movies and picksup the stray animals.

What is your spouses’ best feature?Lupe’s best feature is her love, forgiveness andunderstanding of me, especially when I am atmy worst.What is the sweetest thing yourspouse did for you during your cancerexperience?During my 46 radiation therapy treatments,Lupe convinced me to take my ‘build a bear’ –Buddy – to each treatment. He is dressed asa medical tech and was how I survived dayby day. Never come between a man and hisbear!If you had to choose a song or afamous couple who best representsyou, what would it be?I like to think that Joanne Woodward and PaulNewman best represent us; Lupe is quiet,beautiful and smart. I’m outgoing,entrepreneurial, somewhat loud, and verymuch in love with my wife. I particularly likea quote from Paul Newman when a reporterasked him about the lure of so many beautifulHollywood starlets. He answered, ‘why wouldI settle for hamburger when I have prime rib athome?’

Know more couples>

He says

14

Tycha StadingIt has been quoted that, as a general rule,

teachers teach more by what they are thanby what they say. This is particularly true ofTycha Stading, teacher, wife, mother andgrandmother and cancer survivor who retiredfrom her vocation of teaching after fortyyears.

Anyone who knows Tycha Stading canattest to her ability to be positive andlighthearted, even in the most challenging ofsituations. In June 2007, she was diagnosedwith advanced breast cancer. “I hadchemotherapy for six months, a uni-lateralmastectomy and six weeks of radiation. Ijokingly say, ‘I have been burned, bombed,bald poisoned and amputated, butotherwise, I’m great!”

Wed to Ron Stading, the couple will bemarried forty-four years on November 23,2013. “We met at the University ofNebraska in Lincoln at the end of Ron’sjunior and my sophomore year. It was ablind date arranged by Ron’s fraternitybrother and my sorority sister”, says Tycha.Ron and Tycha have two sons, Tige andTyron and welcomed a grandson inNovember 2012.How Cancer has changed her life

Tycha tells In the Know that theirs hasalways been a close family, but that cancerhas brought them even closer. “We haveboth been given the gift of time to tell lovedones and friends how much they mean tous.” The Stadings are generous with theirtime, energy and support of causes whichhelp provide hope to people enduringdifficult times. “Both of us feel we have beenblessed in numerous ways and we are tryinghard to help others. The verse which is often

quoted is, ‘To whommuch is given, muchis required.”

The couple’s love oftravel has taken themto places throughoutthe globe, but themost special placesinvolve time withfamily and friends.Tycha is fond of

quoting a passage from Randy Pausch’sbook The Last Lecture regarding living life tothe fullest. Pausch says “we cannot changethe cards we are dealt, just how we play thehand.”

Who is the more sensitive one inyour relationship?I am far more emotional, sentimental andsensitive than Ron.What is your spouses’ best feature?Ron is a tremendous problem solver. He hasa great positive attitude, is extremelycompassionate and is highly intelligent.What is the sweetest thing yourspouse did for you during yourcancer experience?Ron has been by my side throughout mycancer experience and is a fabulouscaregiver; just what you would expect fromyour best friend.If you had to choose a song orsaying who best represents you,what would it be?Our special song has always been “More.”The first line of the song is “more than thegreatest love the world has known.

”

Ron StadingTall and tan with a mix of Hollywood

appeal, Ron Stading is the picture of goodhealth. Not surprisingly, his fair complexionand time spent outdoors resulted in boutswith basal and squamous cell skin cancers aswell as melanoma. But in October 2009,Ron, a non-smoker, received a diagnosis ofStage IV adenocarcinoma, a type of non-small cell lung cancer. He was told it wasinoperable.

“It was especially surprising since I havenever smoked”, says Stading, “but I’velearned that approximately 12% of all StageIV cancer diagnoses involve non-smokers”.

Ron knows that the survival statistics forthis type of cancer with malignant pluraleffusion are not very good. “It’s now beenover three and a half years; I’m veryfortunate to be here to write about it”, hesays. He shares that his treatment protocolhas been fairly easy compared with thenormal chemotherapy typically given withthis diagnosis. “All in all, I consider myselfvery fortunate. For two and a half years, Ionly had to take a pill once a day which hasgiven Tycha and I time to travel, play andmost importantly, not dwell on the cancerdiagnosis.”

During his cancer experience, Ron has sentperiodic e-mails sharing medical updates,memories and inspirational musings withmany friends, family and associates. Theonline journal helps him deal with thephysical and emotional challenges and alsoprovides hope and inspiration for readers or

their loved ones on their own cancerjourneys. Borrowing a popular anonymousquote, he writes in an early post: “Life isn’tabout waiting for the storm to pass. It’s aboutlearning to dance in the rain.”

His StoryIn the Know asked Ron to share examples

of when life presented the couple with ‘forbetter or for worse’. “That’s a difficultquestion to answer because every husbandshould tell you to only talk about the bettertimes of your marriage. Ours is probablyvery similar to everyone married couplereading this article. I can say that cancerwas difficult, but that being a caregiver forher during her cancer treatments and nowexperiencing the role as a care receiver hasbeen a special bonding time for both of us.” How Cancer has changed his lifeRon contends that cancer has altered their

lifestyle very little. “We try hard not to allowcancer to affect the way we live; clearly ithas changed, but it is a matter of attitude.Each day could be worse than it was. Iknow lots of other cancer patients areexperiencing more pain and stress than I did,so why be negative? It doesn’t do you or thepeople around you any good,” he says.

The Stadings continue to stay busyenjoying each day and planning their nexttrip. They love being grandparents andbuilding new memories. “We just returnedfrom an extended trip to the Middle East andSoutheast Asia”, says Ron. “We’ve alwaysenjoyed travelling, but now each trip,wherever you travel, becomes that muchmore special”, he adds. Who is the more sensitive one inyour relationship?She has always been the more sensitiveperson in our marriage; I love that qualityabout her.What is your spouses’ best feature?Tycha’s best feature is that she is a genuinelycaring, giving and loving person who is awonderful friend to many.What is the sweetest thing yourspouse did for you during yourcancer experience?My wife is an educator, a learner. So duringmy cancer treatment, she thinks she hasbecome a nurse and a doctor without everhaving attended the requisite schools! If you had to choose a song or afamous couple who best representsyou, what would it be?I don’t think there are any couples whorepresent us; we are definitely a unique duo!

She says

He says

15

Tycha & RonStading

‘Ron has been by my sidethroughout my cancerexperience and is a

fabulous caregiver; justwhat you would expectfrom your best friend.’

16

Melissa OffuttA talented marketing professional,

Melissa Offutt is always busy. “ I loveorganizing. Filing, donating clothes, findinghomes for items I have no use for; makinglists and being able to check off the itemsgives me a sense of accomplishment. I alsolove researching. If I’m interested in buyingan item, I’ll research it to death, buy it, andI won’t take it out of the box until I’m sure Iwant to own it.

She is never, however, too busy to toethe line when it comes to her health and shemaintains that annual, medicalexaminations are a must. “I had alwayskept up with my annual exams”, saysOffutt. During a self-examination of herbreasts, Melissa encountered a lump thatwas both large and painful. Having hadan MRI on a questionable encounter justnine months prior, Melissa took matterseriously. After a couple of uncomfortablebiopsies and other tests, she received thenews of a breast cancer diagnosis. “I gotthe news on Ryan’s 33rd birthday, so I keptthe news to myself so we could enjoy hisday. A couple of days later, I told him”,she adds.Her Story

“I never believed in love at first sight.Having been married and divorced, I was abit jaded to the notion. But Ryan had me at‘Hello.’ Although I knew he was interested,my strong personality worried him a bit. Heneeded convincing. He calls it stalking; Icall it persistent. I knew he was the rightman for me and I wasn’t going to let himgo,”she says.

When asked about the fact of being notonly a couple, but a couple who’ve bothhad cancer, Melissa explains. “All couplesargue and disagree. It’s the nature of tryingto put two people together, who have beenreared in different environments, havestrong opinions and varied life experiences.It really is a lot to ask of two people – cometogether and live under the same roof“happily ever after.” It takes work andperseverance, love and patience. I’m a littleshort on the patience virtue. But I’ve learnedthat it is a very valuable tool. The hardestpart was figuring out how to communicateeffectively, but once we did that, it alsobecame the most rewarding. Knowingyou’ve chosen to be with someone who willalways “have your back” is a wonderfulfeeling.”

How Cancer has changed her lifeMelissa sees cancer as a double edged

sword. Good and bad. She says she is abetter person for having gone through aharrowing, life-changing event. “On theother hand”, she states, “it has changedsome of the attributes I liked most aboutmyself. My hair isn’t the same, nor is myfigure. I am lactose-intolerant now and wentthrough instant menopause because of aneeded hysterectomy associated with thebreast cancer. But, Ryan still finds me sexyand I can choose to be large breasted oneday and small the next. It’s kinda fun, in astrange way.”Who is the more sensitive one inyour relationship?Before cancer, Ryan was more sensitive andI was very insensitive. But the both of ushave become very sensitive to each other.He’ll call me and ask “Do you have aheadache?” And my reply is, “Yes, I’ve hadit for a while.” He’ll say, “Well, takesomething, because I can’t work with aheadache.” We seem to be very connectednow in a way we never expected. We canfinish each other’s sentences and knowwhat’s on the other’s mind. It’s ratherinteresting and a little creepy at the sametime.What is your spouses’ best feature?Ryan is a total geek. He can build acomputer from scratch, buy a new cameraand make it into something truly unique; hecan take a small space and make it veryfunctional and attractive. He’s got a greatsmile too!What is the sweetest thing yourspouse did for you during yourcancer experience?I don’t know if you would call it sweet, buthe didn’t throw up when the surgeonremoved my drain. It was really gross andsmelled horrible. Ryan does not have astrong stomach. But he stood there, holdingmy hand making conversation, while this

tube was being pulled out of me, drippingwith bodily fluids and reeking like sweatysocks. When it flopped out and some of thefluid hit his glasses, he stood there anddidn’t flinch. Although I did see a glimpseof queasiness drift across his face. What drove you the craziest aboutyour spouse during the cancerexperience? He was a bit over the top about germs. Butit was for my own good. But having ayoung daughter, it was hard for her tounderstand the new routine – leave shoesand backpack outside, go straight in thehouse and wash hands and arms, go downto the laundry room and change clothes,before touching Mommy. Since my whiteblood cell count was non-existent, we hadto be very careful about cleanliness andpersonal contact. If you had to choose a song or afamous couple who best representsyou, what would it be?She says it would be Fred and Ginger, hecontends that they are better suited as Leiaand Hans Solo! “But the song woulddefinitively be from the movie RealGenius… “Number One”, says Offutt.

RyanMartinez

Ryan Martinez gives all the credit to thegrace of God for discovering his bladdercancer early. “I lifted something very heavy.Then I went to the restroom where my urinewas nothing but blood. At first I was reallyworried, but a little while later, I went to therestroom again and the blood hadlessened.” He did what most husbands

She says

He says

17

would do in this situation: he called his wifewho was in a meeting at the time. “So Iwent to work”, says Martinez, “and as theday progressed, I felt weaker and out-of-sorts”. Both he and his wife, Melissa agreedthe situation needed medical attention. Aftermany ultrasounds and appointments, hereceived the diagnoses, that at age 35, hehad Transitional Cell Carcinoma (TCC)bladder cancer. “The urologist had only seen one other

patient with that cancer at my age. I wasscheduled for surgery the next day. Heremoved the tumor and treated my bladderwith chemotherapy. Six weeks later at myfollow-up, the urologist was visibly frustratedwith the pathology report. There werevariations in the report that were notconsistent with his belief that he hadremoved all the cancer. After muchdiscussion, we agreed to allow him tooperate again.” Results from that surgeryproved even more diverse. “At that point,we decided we needed to go to MDAnderson, where I had a third surgery”,says Martinez. After the final surgery, awelcomed prognosis occurred. It appearedthat the cancer had been completelyeradicated, but would need follow up withthe oncologist every six months and with myinternist every 3 months.” Interestingly, Ryandid not meet any of the standard criteria forbladder cancer such as a prior familyhistory. It was concluded that environmentaleffects were believed to be the cause for hisbladder cancer.His StoryRyan is a self-admitted night owl. “I find

peace in the evening stars while I walk andsolace in the quiet of the night. With the daybehind me, I can focus on prayer and beingthankful for all my blessings.” Among theblessings he counts is his wife, MelissaOffutt. “Melissa caught my attention withher great legs and ability to captivate anaudience with her story-telling abilities. Also,I knew she was fierce and tenacious, yet onthe inside, she was caring and devoted tothose she loved. Watching her with heryoung daughter demonstrated to me thatalthough she was no push-over, she wastender and loving. I knew I had foundsomeone to spend the rest of my life with”. When ITK asked Ryan to share with our

readers a little about the ‘for better orworse’ in marriage, he hesitated. “That’s ahard question, because Melissa shows her

love for me every day. I knew no matterwhat, she would be there. She loves achallenge, and regardless of what thedoctors said, she would question them,demand explanations and research theirrecommendations. She’s always saying that’swhy they call it practicing medicine becausethat’s what they do, every day, on each oneof us.”

How Cancer has changed his life“Since we knew my cancer was related tothe environment, through a process ofcareful evaluation, I determined the onefactor that was consistent throughout myentire life: I drank bottled water. Once Iplunged into the research, it was clear theBPH factor in plastic was an issue. Althoughthis agent is inert when cool, once theplastic becomes warm, whether throughdirect sunlight or heat, the chemical isreleased into the water. It is a knowncarcinogen in this active state. Therefore, wepurchased a distiller and to this day, wemake our own water. We do not eatmicrowavable entrees or heat food inplastic of any kind. Nor do we purchasecanned goods lined with plastic. We alsohave carefully evaluated our eating habitsand have chosen to eat only organic meat,and less of it. We have eliminated nearly allrefined products from our diet. And we areavid label readers”, admits Ryan.

Who is the more sensitive one inyour relationship? We both are very sensitive. We both want tosave every stray dog and are moved bystories that remind us that we are trulyfortunate to have each other.What is your spouses’ best feature? ‘Stems’ up to her neck. LOL. What is the sweetest thing yourspouse did for you during yourcancer experience? She would have arm-wrestled the Hulk todefend me, care for me and encourage me.One of the hardest, yet most importantturning points in my treatment was when shelooked me dead in the eyes and asked meto fight. I was not prepared to continue, butI couldn’t let her down.What drove you the craziest aboutyour spouse during the cancerexperience?When Melissa and my Mom tangled overmy care. Naturally, they both were lookingout for my well-being. But it made me sadand uncomfortable. They tried to agree todisagree, but when the two people you lovemost in the world argue for you, it is hard towatch. I’m happy to report all is well now.If you could choose a song that bestrepresents your spouse, what wouldit be? David Mathews Band “You and Me”

Ryan Martinez & Melissa Offutt

know&tell18

Ancient art improves patient’s quality of life

The ancient Chinese Internal Martial Art

known as Tai Chi has for many years been

beneficial to it's practitioners for many

different reasons. As a martial art it is so

effective that it was taught to the Emperors

Imperial Guards in the mid 1800's.

However today, millions the world over

practice and study this art for reasons

other than for its original martial purpose.

For one, it is known to aid the balance

challenged and seniors to prevent not only

potentially dangerous falls but to help them

in overcoming the very "fear" of falling.

Another amazing aspect of this ancient

internal art is its ability to aid individuals

with serious medical issues. In fact recent

studies have found that tai chi was shown

to improve heart and lung function,

strength, flexibility, self-esteem and quality

of life in women who have had breast

cancer.

A 2004 study at the Wilmot Cancer

Center in Rochester, NY, assigned 21

women who had been treated for breast

cancer to either 12 weeks of tai chi or 12

weeks of participation in a psychosocial

support group, both for 1 hour, 3 times a

week. The women who practiced tai chi

showed significant improvements in self-

esteem and quality of life when compared

with the women in the psychosocial

support group. According to researchers,

tai chi may have more of a positive impact

on self-esteem than the psychosocial

support group because:

• The physical aspects of self-esteem

might have more meaning for breast

cancer survivors than for other groups of

people.

• Since tai chi is a more active practice

than participation in a support group, tai

chi might help create a sense of being in

control.

In a more recent Wilmot Cancer Center

study published in 2006, 21 women who

had been treated for breast cancer were

randomly assigned either to practice tai chi

or to participate in a psychosocial support

group, both for 1 hour, 3 times a week for

12 weeks. This time, researchers studied

the women's heart and lung function,

muscular strength, and flexibility. While the

women in the psychosocial support group

showed improved flexibility, the women in

the tai chi group showed improvements in

all 3 categories, as well as a slight

reduction in percentage of body fat.

Finally, one aspect of tai chi that is not

always understood by westerners is the

"Qi" or energy gathering aspect of daily tai

chi practice. "Qi" is the Chinese word for

life force and although many westerners

have a difficult time understanding what

this "qi" is, they don't hesitate to go to an

acupuncturist for various health issues. Tai

Chi and the related art of qigong (chee

kung), improves the flow of this life force

energy like acupuncture but without using

needles. In fact there are forms of medical

qigong designed to fight cancer and

improve one's life force through daily

practice.

My suggestion to those who are cancer

patients or survivors is to go to a tai

chi/qigong teacher and find out for yourself

how this ancient Chinese art can aid in

your recovery and give you a more

peaceful state of mind and spirit.

Source: Texas School of Tai Chi - Sifu

Ray Abeyta - Site: www.TexasTaiChi.net

By Ray Abeyta

Tai chi

Know more>

Know the author>

Ray Abeyta, who has been practicing the ancient Chinese Art

of Tai Chi Chuan for over 25 years, is the owner and full-time

head instructor at the Texas School of Tai Chi in ElPaso, TX.

He not only teaches public & private classes, but has been the

official Tai Chi teacher of the El Paso Fire Department for over

six years. He also teaches at White Acres and Monte Vista

Retirement Homes. Ray has won many National and

International Tai Chi Campionships.

Contact information: [email protected]

know&tell20

By: John R.P. Del Rosario

For the last four years, the Rio GrandeCancer Foundation has celebrated cancersurvivorship within the community with itsannual Keep On Dancing CancerSurvivorship Conference.

The conference resets for its fifth go-around this year on August 24, once againat the Wyndham El Paso Airport Hotel.

"I love it," said Steve Fox, president ofHoy-Fox and 12-year cancer survivor ofthe annual conference. The conference isaimed at the needs of cancer survivorsand their families featuring a mix ofinformational and recreationalpresentations from how to cope with stressfrom your diagnosis to educationalpresentations about the benefits of sleepand drinking water to introductions tothings like scrapbooking and Tai Chi.

"The Keep On Dancing Conference wasbegun as an homage to a similarconference that takes place at MDAnderson in Houston," said Izzy Mora,Director of Marketing and Communicationsat the Rio Grande Cancer Foundation."The reason for this conference is basedon information citing much stronger cancersurvivor numbers. These cancer survivorsmust take special care of their health inthe physical, nutritional, emotional andspiritual to deter cancer recurrence. Thisconference offers them different tools,ideas and skills to assist them in thejourney through survivorship."

"They have great speakers who talkabout survival," Fox continued. "And theynot only talk about surviving, but thriving.There's a difference between surviving andthriving, and Keep On Dancing is all aboutthriving, excelling, enjoying your life."

Close to 200 people attend theconference each year on average, Foxincluded, who with his Hoy-Fox Lexus wasable to donate a sizable $2,500 to theevent that translated into $5,000 throughToyota's Dealer Match Program. TheDealer Match Program, started in 2011, isa program by the national branch of thecompany where they match up to $10,000in donations made by dealers to as manyas four local charities or deserving causes.An example of deserving cause that is notan established non-profit charityorganization is something like ascholarship to for a high school graduatein need as he or she looks towardscollege.

Last year, Fox maxed out his potential$20,000 of matched funds ($10,000 eachfrom Toyota and Lexus, the latter, ofcourse, being the luxury vehicle division ofToyota Motor Corporation) which hespread out among various charities.

This kind of corporate philanthropicoutreach is something that Fox thinks isgreat but more people need to be madeaware of for their benefit.

"Last year, Toyota gave away 100 carsthroughout the country and El Paso didn'tget any of those cars," Fox said ofToyota's 100 Cars For Good Programwhich gives away 100 cars every year todeserving non-profits through an onlinenomination and voting process.

"Maybe someone from a local non-profitis in need of those cars to transportpatients to and from appointments," Foxsaid. "They need to know that there areprograms so that at least someone in ElPaso can start asking about these freecars."

Last year, 100 non-profits benefittedfrom the program, from a batteredwomen's shelter in Anchorage, Alaska thatreceived a Tundra to an animal rescueshelter in Terryville, Connecticut thatreceived a Highlander.

Another program Toyota has, incollaboration with the National AudobonSociety, is TogetherGreen, a conservationprogram that gives grants and fellowshipsto conservation efforts all around thecountry. Since 2008, more than 200projects that help protect land, energy andwater have been funded, totaling over $4.7million in grants by Toyota. Thoughdesolate, the Chihuahua Desert is capableof providing conservation projects to buildleaders, engage the community andencourage environmental involvement andTogetherGreen would be a feasible way offunding it.

Being a 12-year cancer survivor givesFox a personal stake in contributing tocancer-related organizations and events,

but he is also in good company as Toyota,along with its dealers across the countryhave been particularly passionate aboutfighting the disease through funding.Through Toyota, Samantha Busch, wife ofNASCAR racer Kyle Busch, designed abreast cancer awareness t-shirt, theproceeds of its sales going to CarolinaBreast Friends, an organization thatprovides support for women with breastcancer in North Carolina. A contest washeld by Toyota to determine the winning t-shirt design after which Toyota donated$5,000 to Carolina Breast Friends onbehalf of the contestants.

Last year in Kansas City, Missouri,Moelle Toyota-Scion donated $10,800 tothe American Cancer Society after holdinga pumpkin design contest among itsemployees promising to donate one dollarfor every vote cast for the pumpkins ontheir Facebook page.

In Carmel, Indiana, Tom Wood, owner ofthe Tom Wood Automotive Group (underwhich Tom Wood Toyota exists) lost hisbattle with cancer in 2010. Since then, thewhole company has been geared towardgiving to and participating in cancer-related causes, especially the annualRelay for Life. Their team, "RememberingTom Wood" has helped the event raise itsaverage $40,000 every year.

Last year, Fox was able to showgratitude on behalf of local cancersurvivors to some of Toyota's executives ata meeting that took place in New Zealand."I was able to share with them firsthandmy personal gratitude on behalf of the RioGrande Cancer Foundation for theirenabling us to host Keep On Dancing," hesaid of his personal exchanges withPresident of Toyota North America of YoshiAnaba, his wife Yoko, Toyota NorthAmerica CEO James Lentz and his wifeBarbara. "The Rio Grande CancerFoundation gave me about 30 Keep OnDancing t-shirts when I went to NewZealand to pass out and I ran completelyout. The Toyota dealers I was with allwanted to know about the event and theyall had a cancer survivor they wanted totake a t-shirt to."

Pictured above: Steve and Nancy Foxwith Yoki & Yoshi Anaba.

‘Keep On Dancing’ and Gifts that Keep On Giving

know where to go

By Jutta Ramirez

Most people only have a rough idea of

what is involved in counseling. Television,

movies, magazines and popular self-help

books often give only the basic idea of what

goes on in various forms of therapy. If you

are facing a profound challenge, such as a

cancer diagnosis in your family, which can

stun, terrify, and change lives, professional

counselors can help sustain and improve

coping skills.

A common emotional reaction to cancer

experienced by loved ones and the patient is

depression. This intense period of

hopelessness is also associated with too

much or too little sleeping or eating,

irrational guilt, lack of motivation and

interest in activities, and a sense of sadness,

either profound or just consistent “blah”. In

children, irritability is another trademark for

depression, so families need to know that

symptoms are not always the same for adults

and children. Although science is still

unsure about what causes depressive

episodes, it is clear that perpetual stress and

illness are enormous contributors to evolving

healthy sadness into clinical depression.

Thus, when cancer strikes a family member,

the overwhelming demands such as medical

appointments, financial hardship and the

confusion and anger surrounding the cancer

itself can combine to leave one vulnerable to

depression.

Along with emotional responses, when

cancer is present within a family, changes in

family relationships are inevitable. For

example, a child whose sibling has cancer

may become jealous of the attention given to

the patient and then feel guilty for this

frustrating emotion.

Spouses may lose intimacy or sexual

interest as a patient’s health becomes a focus

and other priorities take a back seat.

Families can also expect that, sometimes,

they will want a break from the whole

cancer experience, especially when the

patient is being cared for at home. It is

important to realize that these reactions and

emotions are normal and do not indicate

selfishness or lack of concern.

Knowing when professional services are

needed and knowing where they might be

obtained is an important realization. "If

someone is questioning if they should go

into counseling that is probably the best

indicator that they should," says Dr. William

King, a mental health counselor in private

practice in Indianapolis, Indiana. "You

should trust your instincts."

The counseling programs at the Jewish

Family and Children’s Services are open to

anyone regardless of religious affiliations.

The agency offers these services to

individuals, couples and families who are

encountering problems in their daily lives

that go beyond their own abilities to resolve.

The professional counseling staff teaches life

skills such as communication, anger

management, problem-solving, relationship

enrichment, parenting, anxiety, stress

management and building self-esteem, to

name a few.

The programs at the Jewish Family and

Children’s Services are provided utilizing a

sliding fee scale based on household income.

Now aren’t you glad you “know where to

go”!

Jewish Family and Children’s Services

401 Wallenberg

El Paso, TX 79912

Ph: 581-3256

Where to get ‘In the Know’

Pick up your free copy of In the Know at these locations:

All Mister Car Wash Locations

• 6355 Montana • 8857 Gateway

West • 4800 Osborne

• 12120 Montwood • 8835 N. Loop

• 11184 Vista del Sol

• 1482 George Dieter

All Martin Tire Locations

• 901 Texas • 12110 Montwood •

9425 Montana

• 5255 Woodrow Bean, Suite 1

• 1342 N. Lee Trevino

• 8008 N. Mesa

• 901 Talbot, Canutillo

Marina’s German Bakery

2033 Trawood

Starbucks

6669 Gateway West

In the Know is also available at all

Greenhouse branches, most local

pharmacies, oncologists offices and

hospitals.

Visit rgcf.org for past issues of In

the Know

SATURDAY, JUNE 22

CHECK-IN: 6AM

RUN: 8:30AM

WALK: 9AM

COLOR PARTY: 10AM

Feb 22-24: $35

Feb 25-Mar 31: $40

Apr 1-Jun 21: $45

Jun 22-$60

CHOOSE YOUR CHARITYChild Crisis Center

Rio Grande Cancer Foundation

Paso Del Norte ChildrensDevelopment Center

Border Aids Partnership

ASCARATE PARK

This 5K Run/Walk will

benefit four El Paso

Not-for-profits.

Register online at:

erace3.com

Jewish Family and Children’s Services

A little help from our friendsThe Sgt.Pepper’s Wondrous Wigorium Concert was held May 4, 2013 at the

Chamizal Theatre. The proceeds raised from the event support the Four

Seasons Beauty Program at the Rio Grande Cancer Foundation.

NON PROFIT ORG

U.S. POSTAGE

PAID

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Rio Grande Cancer Foundation

10460 Vista del Sol Suite 101

El Paso, TX 79925

As you already know and have experienced for

yourself, our magazine, “In The Know: Understanding

the Cancer Experience” is a real treasure of insight

and inspiration. One of our biggest charges here at the

Rio Grande Cancer Foundation is to be FISCALLY

prudent so we can continue granting dollars to not-for-

profits and to sustain our own programs. Another is to

be SOCIALLY responsible to our community and

resources. To that end we are now offering two ways

for our readers to get In The Know and stay in the

know. We will offer a digital version of our magazine to

be a little more earth friendly and to cut down on

printing costs!

So for those of you who are computer savvy, you will

now be able to receive your copy of “In The Know:

Understanding the Cancer Experience” at your

desktop, smart phone or tablet. We DO realize that

there are still those readers that like to hunker down in

the tub or outside under a tree reading our informative

and enlightening articles so for you, we will continue to

deliver a paper version of our magazine to your door.

All you have to do is to pick how you want to….GET IN

THE KNOW!

Get ‘In The Know’ delivered to yourin-box instead of your mailbox

Help RGCF save valuable time and resources

To receive your free online subscription of ‘In the Know’ and help

the Rio Grande Cancer Foundation simply submit your e-mail

address to: [email protected]

in the know understanding the cancer experience

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