inc dave's killer bread

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    Fresh From Prison, a Brother Rejoins the FamilyBread Business

    The worst of it came in 1989, when Dave Dahl, freshly sprung from prison and

    strung out on crystal meth once again, returned to his family's brotherhood of

    the bread business in Portland, Oregon. Since 1955, the Dahls had operated a

    health-food company called NatureBake. Dave wanted to help out in the

    artisan crafting of organic whole-grain bread.

    Dave was 26 then and already well into a 20-year criminal career that would

    see him convicted for six felonies, including assault, prison escape, delivery of

    a controlled substance, and armed robbery. He kept a sawed-off shotgun in his

    trench coat and often stowed several ounces of meth under the hood of his car.

    In mug shots, he oozed menace, looking straight at the camera, all grimace

    and lantern jaw. He was a big guy -- 6 feet tall and ripped. In time, he would

    bench 335 in the joint. His older brother, Glenn, says he still regards him as

    "an extremely imposing figure. He can be very scary when he gets mad."

    But still Glenn, who had recently bought NatureBake from his aging dad, had

    always given Dave shelter. Years earlier, when Dave was a sullen, acned teen,

    he had lived in Glenn's house. He tried to kill himself once, emptying Glenn's

    medicine cabinet of pills; Glenn consoled him and invited him back to work

    the next day. Now, Glenn took another chance. He hired Dave to mix dough.

    But within a week -- after Dave showed up high, and after he got in a fight on

    the bakery floor -- they had a confrontation, and Dave quit.

    Dave took vengeance. He sneaked over to Glenn's house and forced his way in,

    calming the dogs by feeding them meat. "I stole a pistol," he remembers. "I

    broke a dresser and a locked cabinet. I wanted him to know it was me

    wrecking his house."

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    Glenn knew. For years, he had contended with this hellion kid brother, this

    problem relation who would just float into the picture whenever he wanted to

    rain havoc on the family business -- and to rip at Glenn's heart.

    Now it was 2004, and Dave was getting out of prison again. Glenn went

    through the same painful calculations. Dave was an absurd risk; he had to

    shut the door on him. But Dave was a brother, too. Glenn decided to give him

    one last chance.

    That December, when Dave came out of prison again, Glenn picked him up at

    the Greyhound station in Portland, took him home, and gave him back his job.

    Now, four and a half years later, the strangest thing has happened: Dave Dahl

    is somehow a celebrity and the driving force behind a wildly successful brand.

    Perhaps you have heard of Dave's Killer Bread. Organic and free of genetically

    modified organisms, it sells for more than $5 a loaf and comes in 14 varieties,among them Blues Bread, which is rich in blue cornmeal; Good Seed, which is

    crunchy-thick with flax and sunflower seeds; and the long, skinny Peace

    Bomb. On each bag, there's a cartoon of a buff, longhaired Dave playing his

    electric guitar and a confessional note in which Dave speaks of finding peace

    after 15 "long and lonely" years in prison. He healed, he writes, by "practicing

    my guitar, exercising, and getting to know myself -- without drugs. A whole lot

    of suffering has transformed an ex-con into an honest man who is doing his

    best to make the world a better placeone loaf of bread at a time."

    Dave introduced his bread in August 2005. He drafted a few recipes and then

    took 100 loaves to a farmers' market in Portland. In crunchyOregon, amid a

    mounting nationwide taste for all things organic, Dave's Bread, as it was first

    called, was a safe gambit and a modest one, until Dave threw the

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    wordKiller onto the label. Then, it was as though he had stepped into the

    shoes ofPaul Newman. The Portland media lavished him with press. The

    families of ex-cons wrote Dave heartfelt letters. Women lined up at

    supermarket demos, hungry for a glimmering moment with the bad boy

    turned sweetie pie.

    Today, NatureBake sells 35,000 loaves of DKB every week, in health-food

    stores and grocery chains primarily in Oregon,Washington, andAlaska.

    NatureBake, which for decades grew at a steady 10 percent per annum, has

    almost quadrupled its revenue since 2005. It is now a $12 million-a-year

    company, with 83 employees and a brand-new account with Costco. In the

    spring of 2008, it moved to a new, 52,000-square-foot bakery -- more than

    three times the size of its old home. Out in the parking lot is a fleet of delivery

    trucks that bear a picture of Dave dressed in baker's whites and beaming as he

    stands beside a black wall ruler. "Dave's Best Lineup Yet!" reads the text.

    The myth for sale is that Dave's redemption is glorious and total -- that all the

    bad karma has been baked away in the aromatic and goodly ovens. But does it

    really work that way in real life, in families?

    When Dave and Glenn sit together in Glenn's corner office at NatureBake,

    there's a sense that the past has not fully receded. Their faces look very similar

    -- broad, with the same craggy nose and the same Nordic pallor -- and it's not

    hard to envision a time three decades back when Glenn was the big brother

    teaching Dave how to play quarters. There were many years after that with

    almost no communication between the brothers, followed by a period of

    regular fights and reconciliations -- and now this stable period. Glenn, who is

    55, with tousled white hair and a placid, gnomelike grin, sits behind his desk,

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    speaking quietly. Dave, who's 46, sits off to the side in a visitor's chair, his

    hulking forearms crossed as he exudes an athlete's alert, kinetic presence.

    "And after you robbed my house," says Glenn, piecing together the past, "you

    took off to Massachusetts."

    "Yeah," says Dave. "I drove this stolen van that got, like, seven miles to the

    gallon. I think the owners were glad to see it go."

    Both brothers laugh -- once, tautly -- and then, for a second, it's quiet. You can

    hear the ticking of the lighting system overhead.

    NatureBake was started, in 1955, byJames Dahl, a onetime Navy sailor

    who had been raised a Seventh Day Adventist, and his wife, Wanene. James

    was, in his own estimation, a "blockheaded Norwegian." He got angry in the

    bakery sometimes, throwing pots and pans at the wall, and if anyone daredinsult his two loves -- the church and the American flag -- he went ballistic.

    When each of his four kids turned 9, he put the kid to work, paying roughly a

    dime an hour. "When I was 11 or 12 and my friends invited me on a weekend

    camping trip," recalls Glenn, "I couldn't go. Sunday was baking day."

    In his early 20s, Glenn thought a couple of times about walking away from the

    bakery -- of joining the Air Force and becoming a pilot. But there was a

    problem: For all his rigidity, James was a sloppy business manager. Often at

    NatureBake, receipts would end up in the trash and under the ovens. "I knew

    that if I left," Glenn says, "the business wouldn't last." He bought NatureBake

    in 1988 and let his dad stick around. The pretense was that James would

    develop new bread recipes. He never did. Tired and bereft of confidence, he

    mostly just grumbled, saying things like, "Why did you have to move the salt?"

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    To Dave, it was pathetic. "I hated my dad," he says. "He was a hypocrite; he

    never even went to church." Several times, Dave got in shoving matches with

    his father, who died in 1997. Once, when James was 65 and Dave was 25 and

    coming off a long meth jag, James shook his son awake, saying, "Go to work."

    Dave clocked him. "He was down on the ground, saying, 'Stop, stop!' " Dave

    says, "and I just left and got high."

    As a kid, Dave says, "I hated the bakery, and I hated the sissy hairnets we had

    to wear." He was insular and morose; he had almost no friends. He found

    catharsis in playing heavy metal on his guitar -- Judas Priest, Black Sabbath --

    but he didn't find true escape until, at age 21, he discovered crystal meth.

    "That first marvelous injection of poison," he writes on his MySpace page,

    "jettisoned me into an exciting, depression-free nirvana. For the first time in

    my life, I had no inhibitions, no worries."

    Dave began dealing the stuff and living large. He sold up to a pound of meth a

    day and carried thick wads of hundreds. He packed a .380 semiautomatic and

    floated

    from woman to woman, fathering a couple of daughters, one of whom -- 21-

    year-old Jessica -- helps sell DKB at farmers' markets. (Her 24-year-old half-

    sister rarely talks to her dad.)

    "Basically, for a number of years," says Glenn, "he just disappeared." Glenn

    was concerned, but he kept his distance. There were letters between the

    brothers and a few phone calls and also the odd, awkward home visits spliced

    between Dave's four prison bids -- like, for instance, the time Dave came to

    join Glenn's young family for a picnic and blighted the day by getting nabbed

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    shoplifting cigarettes. "It was hard to stay close to him," says Glenn. "I didn't

    know what to say."

    By the late '90s, Dave felt so isolated and so depressed, lying in his cell, that

    for months he could scarcely sleep. "I thought of cutting my wrists," he says,

    "but I'd seen guys who'd tried that, only to be carried out on a stretcher and

    'saved.' "

    Finally, in desperation, Dave talked to a psychologist. He began taking

    antidepressants, and he enrolled in a drafting program. He excelled; he began

    teaching other inmates. "For the first time ever," he says, "I felt good about

    myself without drugs. I was developing a skill. I started feeling like I can do

    whatever I set out to do.

    "I was having these nightmares then, and in them I'd slipped. I'd just killed

    someone -- I didn't know why -- and I was hiding out. But the cops were ontome; my life was over. It was the most dreaded situation, but then, blessedly,

    I'd wake up and realize I was in prison. And I was happy."

    "He did something amazing," says Glenn. "He found a way to be free in prison,

    and when I visited him, he had dreams for his life. For the first time, he wasn't

    blaming people."

    Dave entered a six-month drug rehab program for inmates. The two brothers

    talked about working together again, and Dave imagined a time of pure fun

    and camaraderie. Glenn, meanwhile, had a calmer hope. "I just wanted to hire

    him," he says, "so he could settle into civilian life."

    But three weeks after Dave came home, Glenn left his wife of 20 years. He

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    moved out of his suburban home into a spare apartment in Portland. Dave felt

    stung: "I wondered, Why didn't Glenn tell me he was going to do that? Why

    did I even come back to the bakery? I felt resentment toward Glenn."

    But Glenn didn't have time to salve his brother's wounds. He had to reinvent

    his business. Partly, NatureBake needed to grow, to make room for Dave and

    for Glenn's son, Shobi, who was about to finish college and join the company.

    But mostly, the brand lacked pizzazz. It was uncool; it was for graybeards. "No

    young people knew who we were," says Glenn, "unless they were deeply

    immersed in organic culture."

    When Glenn went to the grocery store one day, he says, "I didn't see anybody

    with tattoos or piercings picking up our bread." He yearned to reach the

    alternative crowd, so he envisioned a new brand -- and talked to Dave. "What

    about a picture of you with your guitar, right on the bag? What if we sell yourprison past?"

    "It was magic," says Dave. "Glenn let me tell my story -- and also let me make

    good bread." Indeed, Glenn didn't limit Dave to cheap materials. He saw the

    organic market becoming ever more gourmet, and he reckoned, If people are

    willing to pay $6 for a cup of coffee, we sure as heck can sell a $5 loaf of bread.

    "I told Dave to pull out all the stops," says Glenn. So Dave began concocting

    the company's most deluxe line of breads ever, replete with organic flour,

    organic blue cornmeal, and organic cane juice from Paraguay. The in-house

    catch phrase was, "Good organic ingredients and lots of them."

    It's a Fridaymorning, and Dave is standing by NatureBake's ovens, on a

    concrete floor slick with the oil of crushed seeds. He's tweedling at

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    his BlackBerryas he eyes a rack full of Good Seed. With his Celtic-knot tattoo

    jutting out from one of the cutoff sleeves of his white shirt, he looks badass,

    even in a hairnet. And he exudes a burly ease as he strolls through the plant.

    "All right, all right," he says, plucking a chunk of dough out of the mixer to size

    up how much it has risen. "Cool."

    He passes a couple of line workers dividing huge mounds of dough into loaves

    by hand. "I can do that job twice as fast as anyone here," he says.

    Outside, in the break area, he holds court, smoking. Two guys at the picnic

    table are felons, and they are sitting down as he stands and paces. The talk is

    about how hard life is after prison, when nobody wants to rent to you or give

    you a job, and Dave sort of shines as a savior. "I approached him in the

    parking lot," says one man, Lewis Starr, "and he gave me an application and a

    free loaf of bread."

    "Realistically," says Dave, "these guys had as much chance of working out as

    anyone. They're good workers. And this guy's daughter," he adds, pointing, "is

    hot. I mean, she's smoking hot."

    Everyone laughs, and in the six or eight visits I will have with Dave, his warm,

    shaggy beneficence will win out every time. He's charming, in his own rough

    way. Still, there's a storm brewing inside him. His life is not settled, and at

    times he will soliloquize almost absent-mindedly, like a teenager trying to

    piece together who exactly he is. "My relationships with women," he tells me,

    "that's a problem. I've been away from women so long, you know, and all these

    women have had all these different experiences. I'm on a totally different

    wavelength." His last girlfriend was a 27-year-old onetime topless dancer who

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    approached him at the bakery. "I'm just not mate material," he says. "If it lasts

    more than two days with a girl, I gotta go. I don't need anybody -- and I get

    tired of people saying, 'Why don't you listen to my bellyaching?'

    I've already suffered. I don't want to be around somebody who's still going

    through it. I'm into whatI'mdoing."

    When Dave got going on his own line of bread, back in 2005, he worked 100

    hours a week; he tweaked recipes and supervised crews. Dave wanted whole

    shifts of workers to transition to making his bread; he wanted the marketing

    people to get DKB into more stores. "I needed an organization around me," he

    says, "but people were hesitant. I was just another guy scrambling for power,

    and I think they felt that if they listened to me, that would be disloyal to

    Glenn. I fought and I fought and I fought to build up a team. I wanted to get

    the bread out there, but that first year, I was all alone. I'd come back from the

    farmers' markets, where I was getting all this love, and people would bewhispering about me. They were thinking, Who is this drug addict to tell me

    how to do my job? He's doing great things, but how long before he starts using

    again?"

    The worst conflicts were with Shobi, who was given the job of designing the

    labels for the Killer Bread bags. Dave hovered over his nephew's computer.

    "That looks good," he would say, "but move that Good Seed logo just a little bit

    that way."

    "Yeah? Why don't you just do it yourself?" said Shobi.

    "We were at each other's throats," Shobi says now. "Finally, I just told him to

    fuck off." For weeks, the two men stayed up late, sending each other brutal

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    and exactingly detailed e-mails. Shobi composed a list of 15 complaints about

    Dave. "You are incapable of intelligent conversation that does not involve

    yelling," he wrote. "You wear cutoffs and sleeveless clothes in the bakeryYou

    have an 'I am god of bread, bow down' aura around you that makes me sick to

    my stomach.You threatened to hit me.You are not going to change, and I

    am not going to change. In the end, it's either going to be you or me."

    Dave called Shobi's attacks lies. But he agreed that they couldn't work

    together. "A herd of camels would graze for a lifetime in the eye of a needle

    first," he wrote.

    Meanwhile, NatureBake's assembly line convulsed as it tried to crank out

    Killer Bread. The dough was so thick with seeds that it didn't quite hold

    together. Loaves didn't rise sufficiently. Sometimes they reached the slicing

    machine in odd, oblong blobs that had to be tossed -- a disaster, for alreadyKiller Bread was yielding a razor-thin profit margin (thanks to the expensive

    seeds), and NatureBake was in trouble.

    The company's move would end up costing $2.2 million, after renovations.

    And NatureBake's organic wheat costs were skyrocketing, thanks in part to

    rising Chinese demand and droughts in Brazil andAustralia. In the early days

    of DKB, the company paid about $11 for a 50-pound sack; in 2008, the price

    leapt to $39. (It now hovers at about $25.) Glenn, who is the bakery's sole

    owner, was losing sleep. "My name's on the bottom line of every loan," he

    says. "If this place goes down, I'm penniless. I'm done."

    Glenn was preoccupied, and when Dave wrote to complain about Shobi, his

    brother blew him off. "I can't fix this," Glenn wrote in one e-mail. Dave was

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    furious. "There was no violence," Glenn says now, "but he was a fraction of an

    inch away from it. I could see it in his eyes, in his body posture. He'd come

    into my office, and he'd just be beside himself. He'd stand over my desk,

    shaking and shouting. I tried to stay calm -- that was the only way I knew to

    keep him from escalating. Then, we'd go back to our corners and try to stay

    out of each other's way. We'd e-mail each other. It was no way to run a

    company."

    The three partners -- Glenn had given his brother and son equity in 2007 --

    began meeting with a family-business counselor. They did roughly a dozen

    sessions, some up to three hours long, and they all emerged feeling cleansed.

    "I started with mistrust," says Dave. "I figured that Shobi was nothing but a

    little brain who hated his cowboy uncle. But then Shobi said, 'When I was in

    college, all I wanted was to get out and work with my dad and you.' I broke

    down. I was like, 'OK, Shobi's human.' "

    "We came up with better boundaries, better job definitions," says Shobi. "And

    we hired an operations manager, too, to streamline things." The company

    improved the margin on DKB by buying flour in larger volumes and producing

    larger batches of bread.

    "We're doing a lot better now," Glenn tells me one morning when I meet with

    just him. "I don't think we would have made it without help." He goes on to

    talk in kind tones about his brother. "Dave rocked our establishment," he says,

    "but we needed that. We needed his creativity, his energy."

    Glenn hopes that, over the next five years, NatureBake can triple its sales of

    Killer Bread, to better than 100,000 loaves per week, largely by penetrating

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    the still scarcely tapped Seattle market. He believes that Dave can stay clean.

    "It's been 10 years," Glenn says. "But if he did relapse? The company would

    suffer, tremendously. Even if we kept it secret, we'd lose his creativity. Morale

    would go down. I'd do everything I could to stop that from happening. We'd

    get help -- therapy, whatever was needed.

    "Dave's a good guy," Glenn continues, "and I was probably just too headstrong

    at times dealing with him. I should have listened, even when he wasn't

    patient."

    "Glenn."Dave shakes his head with disdain. "Glenn -- Glenn just doesn't

    get it. I wasn'tpatient? Right! Glenn doesn't even understand what we were

    fighting about. People just didn't want to help me do my job. It was like, 'It's

    Dave's bread. Let him do the damn work.' "

    Dave is in his apartment now, on the couch, hunched forward, hands on his

    knees. "I can't figure Glenn out," he continues. "I mean, we grew up together,

    and then I went to prison, and I feel like I looked at life from so many different

    angles. I had so many different experiences, and then I come back to the

    bakery, and it's almost like -- " Dave throws his head to the side, miffed. "Oh, I

    can't go there. We stillbutt heads. In any company, you're going to have

    people who can't stand each other; they just make it work. But these people

    are my family. I have to do more than stand them. I have to love them."

    Now, Dave gets up and pads across the aqua shag carpet of his living room to

    fetch a beer out of the fridge. Aside from a StairMaster in the corner, the place

    is nearly naked -- almost no furniture, nothing on the walls. It's basic. It's just

    a two-bedroom he's renting for $900 a month, after living for a spell with

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    Melanie, the ex-dancer. (A short while later, he will buy his first house.)

    When he comes back, Dave picks up his acoustic guitar and plays, leaning

    back, his eyes asquint with ardor. "Everybody's telling me about Jesus," goes

    the first song, "sanctimonious sisters/ pedophile priests/ prepubescent

    pissers."

    The next song is vengeful -- "I'm gonna draw blood/ I'm gonna break bones" --

    and then Dave gets plaintive and blue, singing, "I don't even have the strength

    to cry/ I don't even have a heart/ How many times have I caused someone

    grief?/ How many hearts have I broke?/ Just leave me alone with my guitar/

    Because if I make it, it's gonna be/ Because of the music in me." There are no

    songs without anguish in them. "I just haven't gotten to a new place with my

    music yet," Dave explains.

    After a while, we go out to the patio area behind Dave's apartment so he can

    smoke a couple of cigarettes as dusk falls. "I guess Glenn and I are still

    figuring out how to deal with each other," he says, almost dreamily. "You're

    always figuring things out -- that's life."

    We sit there in the darkness a few minutes more, hearing the whoosh of cars

    on the freeway nearby, and Dave keeps talking. "We're going to start making

    things happen in the Idaho market," he promises. There's an edge to his voice

    sometimes, a certain hunger, and you know that his old demons are still

    rattling inside him somewhere. But at times, he is quiet. He is ruminative. He

    sits there in a halo of smoke, saying nothing, looking weary, like a prizefighter

    who has just stepped out of the ring after a long, bruising battle to realize

    anew the sweetness of everyday life.

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    He smokes. He gazes serenely off into the distance. He seems happy. You want

    it to last.