Infidelity

Infidelity• Defined as extramarital sexual relationships...are there other

types?!

• Sexual infidelity doesn’t benefit society, monogamy is the norm because limiting sexual partners strengthens the family, ensures the greatest population growth & the support & socialization of offspring

• Most Canadians don’t approve of extramarital affairs, a 2009 poll found that 85% of subjects thought having an affair was “morally unacceptable”

True or False

• Most men who cheat are unhappy in their marriage?

• FALSE….56% of men who had affairs were happy in their marriage, according to a study by Helen Fisher, PhD, a biological anthropologist at Rutgers University.

• By comparison, only 34% of women who had affairs were happy or very happy in their marriage.

• Men are more likely to give sexual motivations for infidelity and less likely to fall in love with an extramarital partner.

• Women are more interested in supplementing their marriage or jumping ship than men are.”

True or False

• Infidelity is the leading cause of divorce?

• FALSE…Although infidelity is the main

reason unmarried couples who are living

together split up, the same is not true of

married couples. Married couples often

cite being incompatible or unable to

communicate as the cause of their divorce.

• It is difficult to determine rates of infidelity, a 2001 poll showed that 12% of male & 6% of female respondents admitted to having an affair

• Men are more likely to have a sexual affair

• Women are more likely to have an emotional affair

• Infidelity results in divorce 65% of the time

Infidelity

What Men Want... What Women Want...

• Evolutionary psychology suggests that men are more likely to cheat due to a biological drive to reproduce (having more partners increases the odds of having offspring)

Reasons for Infidelity

Opportunistic Infidelity• Another theorist suggests that propinquity, or nearness, can lead to infidelity. When opportunity presents itself many people will cheat, this represents selfish & immature moral behaviour as affairs are narcissistic• Succumbing to sexual desire• Driven by situational circumstances

Obligatory Infidelity• Based on fear that resisting someone's sexual advances will result in rejection. People may have feelings of sexual desire, love and attachment for a spouse, but still end up cheating because they have a strong need for approval.

• In other words, some people cheat, not because they want to cheat, but because they need the approval that comes along with having the attention of others.

Romantic Infidelity

• Occurs when the cheater has very little emotional attachment to their spouse. They may be committed to their marriage and making it work but they long for an intimate, loving connection with a member of the opposite sex. More than likely their commitment to the marriage will prevent them from ever leaving their spouse. Marital problems have to be quite severe before a spouse will leave the marriage for another person.

Conflicted Romantic Infidelity• Occurs when people experience genuine love and sexual

desire for more than one person at a time. Despite our idealistic notions of having only one true love, it is possible to experience intense romantic love for multiple people at the same time.

• In this case, cheating spouses, in their attempt not to cause anyone harm, often end up hurting everyone.

Commemorative Infidelity• Occurs when people are in a relationship, but have no feelings for that person. There is no sexual desire or attachment, only a sense of commitment. • Justify cheating by telling themselves they have the right to look for what they are not getting in their present relationship.• It is important, reputation-wise, that the present relationship last. The cheater does not want to be seen as a failure so they stay in an unhappy relationship and fulfill their needs outside of it.

Normalized in the Media?!