interfaith marriage actors

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CHAPTER III INTERFAITH MARRIAGE ACTORS IN NEW SOROWAJAN HAMLET A. Monograph of New Sorowajan Hamlet, Village Banguntapan 1. Geographical Position and Condition New Sorowajan hamlet is one of many hamlets in Village Banguntapan, Banguntapan District, Bantul Regency, Yogyakarta. New Sorowajan has georaphically wide as 86,4 Ha of 814,3 Ha of the wide from the entire village. 1 No data shows geographical position of the village and the hamlet. Village Banguntapan consists of 11 (eleven) hamlet and New Sorowajan is one of the most important hamlet in the village due to its potency. The other hamlet are as follow: 2 a. Tegaltandan Hamlet b. Jaranan Hamlet c. Jomblangan Hamlet d. Wonocatur Hamlet e. Karang Jambe Hamlet f. Karang Bendo Hamlet g. Plumbon Hamlet 1 Obtained from the newest data i.e. “Potensi Desa Banguntapan 2007” and “Tingkat Perkembangan Desa Banguntapan 2007.” 2 Monograph data of 2008 in Banguntapan Municipal Hall. 48

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48

CHAPTER III

INTERFAITH MARRIAGE ACTORS

IN NEW SOROWAJAN HAMLET

A. Monograph of New Sorowajan Hamlet, Village Banguntapan

1. Geographical Position and Condition

New Sorowajan hamlet is one of many hamlets in Village

Banguntapan, Banguntapan District, Bantul Regency, Yogyakarta. New

Sorowajan has georaphically wide as 86,4 Ha of 814,3 Ha of the wide

from the entire village.1 No data shows geographical position of the

village and the hamlet.

Village Banguntapan consists of 11 (eleven) hamlet and New

Sorowajan is one of the most important hamlet in the village due to its

potency. The other hamlet are as follow:2

a. Tegaltandan Hamlet

b. Jaranan Hamlet

c. Jomblangan Hamlet

d. Wonocatur Hamlet

e. Karang Jambe Hamlet

f. Karang Bendo Hamlet

g. Plumbon Hamlet

1 Obtained from the newest data i.e. “Potensi Desa Banguntapan 2007” and “Tingkat

Perkembangan Desa Banguntapan 2007.”

2 Monograph data of 2008 in Banguntapan Municipal Hall.

48

49

h. Pelemwulung Hamlet

i. Pringgolayan Hamlet

j. Modalan Hamlet

New Sorowajan Hamlet consists of 20 RT (Classification of

Households) and also has strategic position due to the line bordered with

two regencies and quite close with the capital province, the detailed is as

follows:3

The borders of the hamlet:

a. North : Karang Bendo Hamlet

b. South : Plumbon Hamlet

c. East : Karang Jambe Hamlet

d. Southeast : City of Yogyakarta

e. West : Gendeng, Sleman Regency

The administrative distance between The Hamlet Hall and the capital:4

a. From the Hamlet Hall : 1 Kilometer

b. From the District Office : 4 Kilometers

c. From the Regency Office : 13 Kilometers

d. From the Province Office : 7 Kilometers

Of the explanation, we catch that mobility of the resident is

supported by the hamlet position which is nearby from any capitals, so

that the information stream is tremendously fast. Additionally the hamlet

3 The result of interview with Head of Hamlet, Sularto, B.Sc at Wednesday, October

27, 2010

4 Monograph data of 2008 in Banguntapan Municipal Hall.

50

is also often visited by the local and foreign tourists, thus it causes rapidly

cross culture and contact with the other customs.

2. Demography

New Sorowajan hamlet is inhabited by 2.653 residents consist of

703 KK (Family Head), while for more detailed population, it can be

viewed at the table as follow: 5

Table 1: The population according to each RT and sex type/gender

RT

AMOUNT OF KK MALE FEMALE AMOUNT

01

41 77 83 160

02

16 32 29 61

03

42 76 75 151

04

56 81 94 175

05

51 95 78 173

06

26 52 51 103

07

24 48 52 100

08

64 115 146 261

09

21 43 46 89

10

25 50 52 102

11

26 55 47 102

12

36 66 68 134

13

41 84 69 153

14

32 55 58 113

5 New Sorowajan Hamlet‟s documents

51

15

58 116 119 235

16

26 42 42 84

17

32 55 64 119

18

46 63 32 145

19

26 51 52 103

20

20 54 36 90

TOTAL

703 1.310 1.343 2653

Table 2: Ethnic6

NO

ETHNIC GROUP AMOUNT

1

China 5

2

England 1

3. Education, Economic, and Religiousness Condition

Almost all residents in New Sorowajan Hamlet experience the

bench of school and education ever, for sure beside small children which

do not reach the age of school. The data show the quality of Human

Resourch in the Hamlet and also show that the rapid spreading and

distributing information and knowledge are something possible, so that

it‟s ethereal to find the illiterate resident all over the Hamlet. For more

detailed, we can look at two tables below:7

6 The result of interview with Head of Hamlet, Sularto, B.Sc at Wednesday, October

27, 2010

7 New Sorowajan Hamlet‟s Documents

52

Table 3: The population according to the age of schooling

NO

AGE OF SCHOOLING AMOUNT

1

0-6 629

2

7-12 311

3

13-15

204

4

16-18 216

5

19-upwards 1.293

TOTAL

2.653

Table 4: The population according to the general education level

NO

GRADUATING SCHOOL AMOUNT

1

Pre School 629

2

Elementary School/Equivalent 311

3

Junior High School/Equivalent

204

4

Senior High School/Equivalent 216

5

Diploma 1 49

6

Diploma 2

67

7

Diploma 3

83

8

Undergraduate/Strata 1

109

9

Master/Strata 2

15

10

Doctoral/Strata 3

6

Of the economic condition, the residents are on average in low to

middle class economy. There are only two RT on average in middle to

53

high class economy, namely: RT 16 and 18. On average, livelihood of the

residents is working as trader and laborer, then employee, craftsman, and

farmer are on its sequence. The detailed is as follow:

Table 5: The population according to groups occupation8

NO

OCCUPATION AMOUNT

1

Unemployment, Student, Pensioner 1.011

2

Farmer 67

3

Laborer of Farmer

86

4

Private Laborer 389

5

Civilian Government Worker (PNS) 449

6

Craftsman

110

7

Trader

397

8

Cattleman

20

9

Mechanic

9

10

Doctor

5

11

Others 110

TOTAL

2.653

In New Sorowajan Hamlet, religious condition becomes the most

important matter to explain in this subchapter, because of its touch with

the main problem formulation about interfaith marriage. Majority of

residents are Muslim (embrache Islamic religion), then followed by

Hindu, Catholic, Christian, and Buddhist. But note that the religious

8 New Sorowajan Hamlet‟s Documents

54

followers are spreading equally, beside Islam followers of course,

especially Hindu and Catholic followers. It means that the possibility of

interfaith concatc especially in cultural matters and private problems i.e

socializing with the opposite sex and marriage, is not impossible. The

detailed is as follow:

Table 6: The population according to religious affiliations 9

NO

RELIGION AMOUNT

1

Islam 1.870

2

Christian/Protestant 86

3

Catholic

346

4

Hindu

351

5

Buddhist

9

TOTAL

2.653

There are few worship facilities for inhabitants in order to devote,

pray, have socialization, meet together, hold a meeting, read the holy

books etc. Although not each religion has the tabernacle or place of

worship in the hamlet, but it can be surmounted easily, because it can be

found in other Hamlet (such as in Plumbon Hamlet), other regency

(Sleman) and city of Yogyakarta nerby the Hamlet, based on its position

strategically. The detailed is as follows:

9 New Sorowajan Hamlet‟s Documents

55

Table 7: Worship facility10

NO

PLACE OF WORSHIP AMOUNT

1

Mosque 4

2

Musholla (Small Mosque) 1

3

Church

-

4

Wihara

-

5

Pura

-

B. The Life of Interfaith Marriage Actors

Interfaith marriage means marriage between Islam‟s embracers and

other religion, not among other religions outside Islam. Ordinarily, people of

New Sorowajan Hamlet profess egalitarian-cooperation basis and do not

distinguish the components grounded on race, ethnic, and religion, but

sometime the people consider that wealth and having position are the measure

to behold and place a person. Idea of the wealthy and the positioned men

become more meaningful than the opposites,11

likewise the family of

interfaith marriage actors in New Sorowajan Hamlet, interfaith marriage

actors also socialize well.

Islam and Catholic dominate interfaith spouses in this hamlet, even

though the latter population nearly equals with the Hindu‟s embracers. As

being explained before in Chapter I, I take five spouses/families of interfaith

10 Interview with the head of New Sorowajan Hamlet, October 27, 2010

11 Interview with the head of Village Banguntapan, at Tuesday, October 26, 2010 and

with Fredy Andi Yuniardi (Mosque Youth Corps) at Saturday, October 23, 2010

56

marriage that they are perceived to be representative of other spouses in the

hamlet, the goal is to view their life, reasons in marriage, and other aspects to

analyze further in Chapter IV. Five spouses‟ identity are as follow:

Table 8: Sample of Interfaith Marriage Family in New Sorowajan Hamlet

RELATION

RELIGION AGE CHILD GRANDCHILD

1

Jagranata

Hindu 59 6 2

Mrs. Jagra

Islam 56

2

Tarmaji

Catholic 40 2 -

Tumirah

Islam 40

3

Beni

Catholic 64 4 6

Mrs. Beni

Islam 61

4

Sukisno

Catholic 39 2 -

Rosydi

Islam 32

5

Sutarto

Islam 32 1 -

Mila Kristin

Catholic 27

Interfaith marriage actors in this hamlet do realize that they are

improbable to live alone with no cooperation to other components and

assistance. Their life in the family and among people seems fine, moreover

they feel that their family‟s life is better and more peaceful than a same

religion‟s spouse. Not only their daily life, but also their private affairs i.e

worship and rights as husband-wife as well as public affairs i.e education,

religious activity, social work, mosque youth corps etc. seems normal like

another. But as human being and household, they have generally experienced

disagreement, intolerant and other obstacles with the mate, even they must be

57

more patient and forceful and need struggle and determination bigger than

another to reach harmony and eternity in marriage.12

More detailed, the following will explain briefly the life of five

interfaith families that they are representated as sample:

1. Jagranata and Jagra (she refused to mention her original name)

This spouse has been interlacing household for about four decades.

They did not recognize the divorce. Mrs. Jagra narrated that her

background‟s life is quite different from her husband, but the difference

did not be a barrier to make relationship to marriage stage. She is

originally from Java who did not follow Islamic rituals strictly (abangan)

and became influenced by Javanese traditions (kejawen), so that her family

accepted and gave option to select her mate/husband, Meanwhile, her

husband, Jagranata is originally from thick family of Hindu-Bali. His

family and religion obligated him to marry a Hindu or Bali‟s woman at

least if he wished to be accepted among the components. The most

important thing is agreement in mutual respect and honor on religious

matters declared in pre married. It‟s their successful key to maintain the

marriage.

In the daily life, every single component of the family is given a

right to go through the life either in private or public affairs. The principal

12 Interview with Ir. Hertanto, one of Ta’mir administrators at Baitul Arqom mosque

at Saturday October 23, 2010.

58

of this family is wisely mutual understanding to the variety and diversity in

life.13

2. Tarmaji and Tumirah

This family constantly realizes the importance of establishing

religious education for their children. They apply a form of tolerance to the

mate based on respectability and mutual honor as well as caution to be

devout and saying „congratulation‟ when religious celebration came.14

3. Beni and Mrs. Beni (she refused to mention her original name)

If we observe considerably, we get that to marry person that has

different faith doesn‟t invariably impact to the wealth, moreover this

family seems mediocre or I can categorize it to insufficiency, their home is

same as people of rural area. It‟s probably because the life in a village is

multi-mediocre.

Unfortunately, their religious life is going down even left behind at

all, they seem barely to worship. It really influences pattern of family for

children‟s education. The parent is less interested in children‟s religious

teaching and ignoring them to make their own choice, so that they are

permitted whether they want to go to mosque or church. The main problem

of this family is their pattern of life is out of religion.15

13 Interview with Mrs. Jagra at Tuesday, October 26, 2010

14 Interview with Tumirah at Wednesday, October 20, 2010

15 Interview with Mrs. Beni at Sunday, October 24, 2010

59

4. Sukisno and Rosydi

Despite this family is built on difference of religion, but there is no

serious problem appears on the surface. It‟s apart problem, because the

core problem precisely happens inside.

Of many respondents I‟ve interviewed, I got that this family is the

only spouse inclines to be broken down and the actor admits that

difference of religion in the life is the core problem.16

5. Sutarto and Mila Kristin

This family has early experienced a traumatic life in the beginning

of the marriage. Their marriage was established as the result of an

accident, because wife candidate (wife currently) was being pregnant

before marriage establishment. Indeed I did not ask this matter directly to

them because of the politeness manners, but people around gave supported

information as same as the rumors that the fact of being pregnant before

marriage was a truth, so that they were forced to get married although their

faith and belief were different.17

C. The Reasons of Interfaith Marriage Actors

Based on observation and interview toward sample of five interfaith

marriage‟s families, I get some reasons why the actors decided and

solemnized/forced to get marriage. Almost the family of interfaith marriage

actors is educated or having an education, so that they have rational reasons

16 Interview with Rosydi at Thursday, October 21, 2010

17 Interview with Sutarto at Saturday, October 23, 2010

60

in the decision. Of respondents‟ information, then I make a general fact to

produce the representative reasons of interfaith marriage actors in this hamlet.

The following is the detailed:

1. Love and affection

They differentiate both of these, they stated that love is tending to

sexual desire but affection is natural emotion tending to prize and

cherish. Love and affection are their strongest reason, without these

reasons they should not be brave to break through the borders and

barriers. The feeling is also supported by comparability between a spouse

and blessing from their parents.18

2. Quality of human, not just the religion

The actors realize that their religious understanding is far away

from enough because of family and surroundings‟ factor. But for them,

religion is different thing and marriage is also, they distinguish between

relationship with mankind (h{abl min an-na>s) and with the God (h{abl min

Alla>h). They view the human completely of many aspects: ethics,

character, and personality. They think that religion/faith is not

determined thing in forming attitude. They also realize in heart that their

each religion is the most true religion.19

3. Suggestion from an Islamic scholar (Kyai)

Having a consultation with an Islamic scholar (Kyai) and Islamic

lecturer, they got that their marriage is actually permissible. They think

18 Interview with Mrs. Jagra at Tuesday, October 26, 2010

19 Interview with Mrs. Jagra at Tuesday, October 26, 2010

61

that prohibition of a marriage between Muslim woman and non Muslim

man is because the women are worried to follow husband‟s religion and

the worship will be bothered as the result of husband‟s domination and

women‟s weak belief. So that, if women‟s belief is factually forceful and

they are not under husband control, thus their marriage will be

permissible.20

4. Being pregnant

The woman is being pregnant, so that the spouse is solemnized and

forced to get married as soon as possible.21

5. Discrimination and violation towards basic human rights

Some of them consider that it will be a discrimination as citizen

and a violation to human rights if their marriage doesn‟t be permitted.22

6. All religions are similar

Some of them consider that all of religious types are actually same.

No religion teachs badness, wickedness, and corruption. Everything

depends on personality of the pair, not whether the religion is followed.

They also give an example that a lot of spouses built on similarity of

religion, but afterwards the wife/husband becomes dishonest, immoral,

and corrupt, so that the religion is not a guarantee.23

20 Interview with Mrs. Jagra at Tuesday, October 26, 2010

21 Interview with Sukarmi (ustaz{ah, neighbor of Sutarto-Mila Kristin) at

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

22 Interview with Tumirah at Wednesday, October 20, 2010

23 Interview with Rosydi at Friday, October 22, 2010

62

7. Family is everything

If all components of the family approve, thus the other things will

not be a matter.24

D. Procedures Used by Interfaith Marriage Actors

1. Marriage Preparation

Marriage procedures are administrative matters; validity before the

law, marriage legality, as well as marriage and children status. So that,

even though registering marriage is fundamental and very important thing,

but it could be manipulated and counterfeited easily, it means that the data

could be possibly dissimilar with the real fact.

On preparation stage, interfaith marriage actors have to pass

through two phases: firstly, they inventoried problems that would be faced

further and estimated whether their parent‟s objectives would be

communicated. Secondly, they prepared mentality to meet all possibilities,

then they ventured to communicate their wish to marry a person whom his

religion was different. Several conditions below must be prepared on

interfaith marriage:25

Applicable to spouse of Jagranata and Mrs. Jagra, they have to

prepare the marriage in a procession, namely Hindu‟s marriage ceremony .

They must provide anything needed in the ceremony such as ritual

offering.

24 Interview with Mrs. Beni at Thursday, October 21, 2010

25 The conslusion within interview with five interfaith marriage actors

63

For spouse Beni-Mrs. Beni and Sukisno-Rosydi, they prepared

only a marriage procession, namely Islamic ritual. As generally Muslims,

they prepared guardian, dowry, witnesses and naib (substitute, as the

marriage registrar), it‟s aimed to obtain marriage certificate in to be

legitimated by the Indonesian law.

For spouse Sutarto and Mila Kristin, they accomplished the

marriage in Catholic procession, thus they have to prepare anything

needed as generally Catholic ceremony.

For spouse Tarmaji and Tumirah, the marriage preparation became

more complicated than the previous spouses, because they wished to get

married in both religious processions: Islam with ija>b-qabu>l and Catholic

with sacrament.

2. Accomplishing Marriage

The interfaith marriage in New Sorowajan Hamlet was

accomplished in four types of procession:26

1. Hindu‟s marriage ceremony

It‟s accomplished by spouse Jagranata and Mrs. Jagra in

offering ceremony and Bali‟s customs. Before registration at Civil

Registration Office (KCS), as stated, they purposefully renewed

Citizen Identity Card (KTP) by changing wife‟s religious status to be

Hindu, it‟s aimed to be allowed in registration. When the requirements

were completed, thus the marriage accomplished.

26 The conslusion within interview with five interfaith marriage actors, the officials

of two offices.

64

2. Islamic Ritual

It‟s accomplished by spouse Beni-Mrs. Beni and Sukisno-

Rosydi. Before marriage procession, an official of marriage

registration from Religious Affairs Office (KUA) inspected the

requirements. Admission of the actors, they also changed religious

status on KTP to be Islam, because the official of KUA was not going

to register and give marriage certificate if the spouse‟s religion was

different. Afterwards, when the requirements was completed thus ijab-

qabul established as commonly Muslims.

3. Catholic Procession

It‟s accomplished by spouse Sutarto and Mila Kristin. In this

procession, the actors have not to change religious status on KTP, they

merely have to promise to keep in faith and agree to teach offspring in

Catholic manners. Before the sacrament, all of husbands and wives

candidate have to to be baptized as the sign of soul purifying from any

lifelong sin. Then, in sacrament, benediction and invocation were sent

up for both bride and groom to obtain Allah‟s eternal affection. After

marriage, both of them ran Catholic‟s teachings.

4. Both Islam and Catholic

It‟s accomplished by spouse Tarmaji and Tumirah. First of two

processions, they run ija>b-qabu>l in KCS, it could not be conducted in

KUA because each bride and groom were consistent of own religious

status, but religious official was constantly attended to witness that the

65

marriage between them was conducted. After being inspecting the

requirements, the official announced register of the marriage in

determined office. Then the marriage conducted before official of

marriage registration and being witnessed by two witnesses.

After the accomplishing, both of bride and groom sign

marriage certificate, then two witnesses, the official, and guardian

thereafter. With the signatures, the marriage was officially registered.

Then the official duplicated the certificate, one was sent to KCS and

another was sent to the court that its authority surrounded district of the

office. Thereafter the certificate was given to each husband and wife,

unfortunately the certificate was dissimilar with common marriage

certificate, because there was no quotations as written down on the

commonly certificate.

After being accomplishing in KCS, the marriage has to be

conducted for the second in church. The church officer did not give a

marriage book/certificate because the previous certificate from KCS

was considered legally. The church merely made a document showed

that both bride and groom have been conducting sacrament and

baptism for marriage in the church.

Of the explanation above, the temporary conclusion can be

appeared that conducting interfaith marriage in this hamlet was quite easy,

even though the office (KUA and KCS) did not allow interfaith marriage,

but it could be happened if the interfaith marriage actors did not change

66

the religious status on KTP. Why the office allowed and permitted by

changing the status is truly something reasonable. Because religious matter

is a private thing and interfaith marriage that has been spread out

particularly in the hamlet and generally in Indonesia.

E. The Impacts of Interfaith Marriage Within Actors’ Family and The

Society

Of many respondents interviewed and after being learned the

interfaith marriage actors‟ life especially from five spouses as the sample, I

discover that because of the solemnizing/compultion of interfaith marriage, it

caused serious impacts unless interfaith marriage actors ignored. It would be

negative or positive impacts, the following is the negative impacts:

1. Children status and pretense in religion

Forgery of data which is a changing religious status on KTP,

caused an obligatory for their children to follow their status of religion. It

happens to Jagranata, Beni, and Sukisno‟s family. But the reality is all of

Jagranata‟s children are Muslim and implementing worship i.e. s{ala>t,

fasting, and alms (zaka>t) in the daily life although their religious status on

KTP is non Muslim. Whereas, all of Beni and Sukisno‟s children are

Muslim but did not like previous family, their children are less consistent

in Islamic worship. These are the cause why I call that there is a pretense

of religion in his life.

67

2. Status of the marriage

Even though their marriage was legitimated and registered by

official of marriage registration (PPN), but their marital status is uncertain

to be legitimated by their each religions. No religion permits interfaith

marriage, but Islam as the only religion which allows, restricts whether

anyone of non Muslim is allowed to take in marriage. It causes whether

their sexual intercorse is called zina (adultery) or not, and whether the

children born are legally their descendant.

3. Right in inheritance

Although it‟s definite that anyone of children has a right of

inheritance as the result of manipulation towards the religious status,

however their real religion, as reflected in daily life, is quite different with

written data in KTP, Family Card (KK), and civil registration document.

Islam determines that difference of religion is one of the barriers to

meet the inheritance.

4. Confusion of law

Even if the certainty of law has been established, but the interfaith

marriage actors still thinks confused. They know that their kind of

marriage has not been accommodated and even their own religion doesn‟t

wish it. Indeed some of the actors know that Islam doesn‟t give certainty

whether their marriage is allowed, because there are Islamic scholars

allow and anothers prohibit.

68

5. Domination and anxiety

Notwithstanding there is an agreement to respect each own faith

before establishing marriage, but conflict that happens during the journey

can disturb the worship. It‟s also admitted by interfaith marriage actors in

the hamlet, they (both husband and wife) wished that the children should

follow their religion. It causes a problem of domination within family‟s

life.

6. Counterfeiting

Their marriage was preceded by counterfeiting status, thus would

be many counterfeits furthermore, for instance when the children have the

desire to marry. It‟s similar with an idiom, “maintain a counterfeiting by

using another counterfeiting.”

7. One of the spouse probably moves to his husband/wife‟s religion

It‟s probably a positive thing if one of spouse moves to Islam, but it

will be different when a Muslim moves to be murtad that it‟s caused by

the marriage.

Beside negative impacts, there is the positive of interfaith marriage.

This paragraph aims to balance the explanation. It would create a sense of

tolerance earlier. Because the difference that brought about serenity and

goodness, will produce a good impact, then each component of the family

will get a sense of tolerance and mutual respect towards the difference, they

will realize that pluralism and differentiation are something real and unified-

able.