International ConventionSan Jose, California

Quota International, Inc.

Winning the Battle of the Bullies for the Future of Your Club!

Presented byBobbie Carey

Past International President

Once Upon a Time…• A New Member Joins Your Club

Once Upon a Time…• A New Member Joins Your Club• A New Member Offers Ideas

Once Upon a Time…• A New Member Joins Your Club• A New Member Offers Ideas• A New member Becomes President

Once Upon a Time…A New Member Meets Three Sisters Ugly…

Sister Ugly Number 1 … Constant CriticProfile Goals

Extremely Negative Controls with CriticismFault Finder Destroys Target Confidence

Signs of Disrespect Builds Self Doubt in Target

Once Upon a Time…A New Member Meets Three Sisters Ugly…

Sister Ugly Number 2 … Two Headed SnakeProfile Goals

Passive-Aggressive Assassinates Targets Credibility and Reputation

Indirect –Dishonest Style Controls by Managing the Image of the Target

Kiss Up; Kick Down

Once Upon a Time…

A New Member Meets Three Sisters Ugly…Sister Ugly Number 3 … Gatekeeper

Profile GoalsOne Up on Target Controls by putting herself in

the middle of everythingMaking her feel important

Controls ResourcesMost Transparent Sister

PowerAnd

Control

What Do the Sisters Want?

Why Does It Hurt Organizations?

Bullies Deliberately Create

• Tension and Conflict• Chaos• Cliques• Anger• Low Self Esteem of others• Negative Atmosphere• Mistrust

Effects of Creating this Battleground…

“Destroys the Culture and Climate of a Club”

• Loss of Fun and Fellowship• Loss of Membership• Loss of Initiative and Progress• Members Take Sides• President has Low Opinion of New Members

Effects of Creating this Battleground…

Quota is an Optional Activity for Precious Free Time…Members Leave because

their Needs are Not being Met…

”Too Busy to Belong”

ScoreBullies 100%

Other Members 0%

Vulnerable Clubs and Members

“Bullies test the field especially

with new employees (members).

They look for the Targets who put up no resistance to attacks. The Bully backs off when resisted.”

Page 43, The Bully at Work

Why Don’t People Resist?

Targets Do Not Identify thatThey are Bullied

Targets Take the Blame

Targets Try to Compromise

Targets Don’t Get Help from Peers

Leader Must Take On the Bully…You gain strength,

courage and confidence by

every experience in

which you really stop to look fear in the face..you

must do the thing you cannot

do…Eleanor Roosevelt

A Leader Must Take on the Bully…

In Healthy Clubs the President takes on the Bully

• Finds out the truth of the situation• Identifies the real culprit• Confronts the Bully• Doesn’t Back Down

Weapons of Mass Destruction of Bullies

ACTION and

CONFRONTATION

Weapons of MassDestruction of Bullies

“Whatever you do, you need courage. Whatever course you decide upon,

there is always someone to tell you that you are wrong. There are always difficulties arising which tempt you to believe that your critics are right. To map out a course

of action and follow it to the end…requires some of the

same courage which a soldier needs.”

Ralph Waldo Emerson

Weapons of MassDestruction of Bullies

Mental Preparation

• Recognize that you/club are being bullied• Know that bullies don’t want to compromise• Do not accept any of the blame for the conflict or chaos• Reinforce your self confidence- reflect on Past Successes• Summon up your courage to deal with the situation

Weapons of MassDestruction of Bullies

Weapons of MassDestruction of Bullies• Get Allies if possible

• “We can no longer be held hostage. We have to consider everyone’s opinion and our future”

• Fear holds people back

• Tell Your Allies the Situation

• Ask For Support

• Talk to only people you can trust

Common Ruse’s Used to Bully in Quota

You are not acting like a real Quota Club

You must use Robert’s Rules properly to decide issues

You are not in compliance with the by-laws

You are not experienced in Quota and don’t know how things are supposed to be done

You need permission from ___________ to do this

We tried this before and it didn’t work

You cannot decide this without a 2/3’s vote of the members

The Truth About Local ClubsQuota is a House with Many Rooms

No rigid way to be a Quota club

Each club is independent in governance and no club needs permission from another club or officer to act like a clubLocal clubs must be in compliance with International bylaws which are not prescriptive

Current leader is the strongest voice but all voices important

The Truth About Local ClubsQuota is not a dictatorship

QI has initiatives that each club MAY follow

Each club creates their own vision

Vision based on members needs and wants

Leaders as Listeners program is the best approach

The Truth About Local Clubs

If “rules” “bylaws” and Quota International are the key to the Bully’s

argument…call Your Area Director or a QI officer or QI headquarters before you confront the Bully.

Get the real information. Document what was said by whom. Could set up a

conference call and let members ask questions.

Battle Enjoined

Rehearse your remarks

Do not accept any blame for the situation

If the meeting is private, have a witness

If the confrontation is public pick your words carefully…say exactly what is wrong

Be ready for a personal attack

Target’s Comments

“Armed with that knowledge and weapons and courage…”

• We are going to try the course we have set• If you want to come with us…you are welcome• If not then you do what you think is best for you

Bully ReactionsI will resign

I will tell members who will resign

I will talk to the Governor who knows that this isn’t how Quota clubs are run and QI will pull our Charter

You don’t have any experience and you don’t know what is required to keep our Charter

You are going to destroy this club and we have been a force in this community for 40 years

You are the worst President that we have ever had

Target’s Defenses

Who won in the end?

Sisters Ugly or Cinderella

Our own Quotarella will win

Your club will win

Your club will have a future

Goal…Healthy Quota ClubsRespect and Fun throughout the meeting

Have a formula for doing business

Everyone doesn’t decide everything

Goal…Healthy Quota Clubs“Leadership in Quota is not about directing

and controlling, it is about

empowering.”

Daryl Perrine, QI President

Our Values Statement is Our Collect…

“Quench in our hearts O’Lord, All

fires of Selfishness.

.. .”

Wear Your Glass Slippersand Go to the Ball…

Quota is about Fun, Fellowshi

p and Caring…

We Can All be Quotarellas