Stages, Theories, and Communication

Ahyana Presley | Olivia Criss |Thuy Le | Dominic Interlicchia

November 18, 2013

Contact

Involvement

Intimacy

Repair Deterioration Dissolution

• Perceptual

• Interactional

• Testing

• Intensifying

• Interpersonal Commitment

• Social Bonding

• Intrapersonal Repair

• Interpersonal Repair

• Intrapersonal Dissatisfaction

• Interpersonal Dissatisfaction

• Interpersonal Separation

• Social/ public Separation

EXIT

EXIT

EXIT EXIT

Perceptual Interactional

• See, hear, read a message

• View a photo or video

• Smell the person

• Superficial

• Relativelyimpersonal

Elements to form a mental & physical picture along with

gender, age, beliefs, values,

height, etc.

Basic information is exchanged &

preliminary to more involvement with the

person

Testing Intensifying

Whether your initial judgment is true

Reveal more of yourself, amp up your affections to move to next level of the relationship

• What school are you attending?

• What are you majoring in?

Gifts, cards, flowers, flirting, or becoming sexually intimate

t h e s e n s e o f mu t u a l i t y o f

b e i n g c o n n e c t e d d e v e l o p s

DO’S DON’TS

Compliment Inappropriate

Compliment

Flirting

Introduceyourself

Make eyecontact

Drawn-outintroduction

Blink a lot or stare profusely

InterpersonalCommitment

Social Bonding

Committing yourself further and establishing

a deeper connection with the person who becomes your best or closest

friend

Two people agree to be committed to

one another in a confidential

manner

Public “outing” of the commitment made by two

people, usually in front of family and friends. Unit

is formed.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ke2Ho4JqgsI

IntrapersonalDissatisfaction

InterpersonalDissatisfaction

Everyday interactions

become unsatisfying

and the future begins to look bleak unlike

before

Spend less free time together, withdraw and grow farther

apart

Occurs when the bond between two individuals becomes weak

IntrapersonalRepair

InterpersonalRepair

Analyze what went wrong

and consider ways of fixing the problems

Both partners will discuss, the problem, what changes they would like to see and what both parties are willing to

do

InterpersonalSeparation

Social/PublicSeparation

Living separate lives, possibly in

different apartments

Comes in the form of divorce

if a married couple or avoidance

and the return of the “single

life” if in a committed relationship

Bonds are broken and the unit

reverts back to individuals

Contact

Involvement

Intimacy

Repair Deterioration Dissolution

EXIT

EXIT

EXIT

EXIT

Exit Arrows:each stage

presents an exit strategy

Vertical Arrows:move to a more or less intense stage

Self-reflexive Arrows:stabilization

Turning PointsRelationship

Liscence

Important events that can change the direction of the

relationship and create consequences for the individuals involved

Permission to break some relationship rule as a result

of your stage in the relationship

• Mostly positive but can be negative

• Vary with culture

• Varies with the stage of the relationship

• Intimate VS non-intimate relationships

• Can be reciprocal

• Varies across cultures

• Can be negotiated mostly nonverbally and in small increments

5 Factors

Similarity

Proximity

Reinforcement

Physical Attractiveness

Personality

People form relationships on

the basis of attraction

Relationshipare held togetherby an adherenceof certain rules

FriendshipRules

Family Rules

RomanticRules

WorkplaceRules

A person engagedin a relationship

experiences internaltensions causing therelationship to be in a constant state

of flux

Common InternalTensions

Closeness & Openness

Autonomy & Connection

Novelty & Predictability

WHY relationships develop?

WHAT happens when they develop?

BREADTHhow many topics

are talkedabout

DEPTHthe degree to

which you penetrate the core of the

other individual

DEPTH

BREATH

Superficial

Intimate

Personal

Core

Depene-tration

Profits Rewards Costs

MoneyStatusLove

InformationGoodsServices

Results Obtain Avoid

ComparisonLevel

COSTS REWARDS

Relatively proportional

Equitable relationships = Greater Satisfaction

Inequitable relationships = Greater Dissatisfaction

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Office Worker Scientist

Housework Brainwork

Dissatisfaction

Complaints

+ -Respect

ContributeAcknowledge

To be thought

of highly

To be autono-mous

Rules violated = Relationships deteriorate

Rules maintained = Relationships maintained

Be nice

Communicate

Be open

Give assurances

Share joint activities

Be positive

Focus on Self-improvement

Be empathic

Communication Patterns

Withdrawal

Decline in self-disclosure

Deception

Positive messages decrease

Negative messages increase

Strategies of disengagement

Positive tone to

preserve relationship

Justification to explain breakup

Negative identity management

De-escalation to reduce intensity

Dealing with a break-up

Break loneliness-depression cycle

Take time out

Bolster self-esteem

Remove uncomfortable relationship symbols

Be mindful of your relationship patterns

Interpersonal Repair

Recognize the problem

Engage in productive

conflict resolutions

Pose possible solutions

Affirm each other

Integrate solutions into normal behavior

Risks

R

E

P

A

I

R

Intrapersonal Repair

Stimulus-Response View

AttackCriticismAttackCriticism

Circular View

Attack

Criticism

Attack

CriticismRemember

punctuation