interpersonal skills.vj

8/6/2019 Interpersonal Skills.vj

1/48

1

Interpersonal EffectivenessInterpersonal Effectiveness

Vinod JindalVinod Jindal


2/48

2

ObjectivesObjectivesAt the end of the session the participants

will be able to:

Explain the concept and need ofinterpersonal effectiveness; andList the factors influencing interpersonalbehaviour.

List bases of effective interpersonalrelationship.


3/48

3

Assessing Interpersonal RelationshipAssessing Interpersonal Relationship

The extent to which the relationshipis -

1.1. Achieving the goal for which it wasAchieving the goal for which it wasestablished; andestablished; and

2.2. Contributing to wellContributing to well--being andbeing andpersonal growth of the personspersonal growth of the persons

involvedinvolved


4/48

4

Consequences of Poor RelationshipConsequences of Poor Relationship

Poor Health.Poor Health. Mistrust.Mistrust. Anger.Anger.

Lack ofLack ofCommunication.Communication.

CloseClose--mindedness.mindedness. Isolation &Isolation &

Confinement.Confinement. Suspicion.Suspicion.

Poor selfPoor self--esteem.esteem. Prejudice.Prejudice. Breakdown ofBreakdown of

Morale.Morale. Conflict.Conflict. Unhappiness.Unhappiness. Frustration.Frustration.

No teamNo team--spirit.spirit. Stress.Stress.


5/48

5

ExerciseExercise

1.1. List 2 persons who are effective inList 2 persons who are effective inrelating and working with peoplerelating and working with people

2.2. What are their qualities? ListWhat are their qualities? List3.3. Are they successful?Are they successful?4.4. Categorise them as K,S or A.Categorise them as K,S or A.


6/48

6

Emotional competenceEmotional competence

1.1. Perseverence, Patience, Control onPerseverence, Patience, Control onemotions.emotions.

2.2. Such people have EQ besides IQSuch people have EQ besides IQ3. It is a matter of practice to use

Emotions Intelligently


7/48

7

To be successfullTo be successfull

1.1. Self Awareness. How?Self Awareness. How?

2.2. Keep IntrospectingKeep Introspecting


8/48

8

Social

Awareness

Social Skill

Self

Management

Self

Awareness

Factors ofEmotional

Intelligence


9/48

9

Do I practice Self Edit and Self Audit?Do I practice Self Edit and Self Audit?

My likings My dislikings

My strengths My Weaknesses


10/48

10

Foundations of EffectiveFoundations of Effective

InterpersonalInterpersonalRelationshipRelationship

Activity- Role Play


11/48

11

RECOGNITION OF MUTUAL PURPOSES,RECOGNITION OF MUTUAL PURPOSES,

RIGHTS AND RESPONSIBILITIESRIGHTS AND RESPONSIBILITIES

Respect for autonomy and rightsRespect for autonomy and rightsof othersof others

II--thou Vs Ithou Vs I--it relationshipit relationship Commonality of purposeCommonality of purpose

Reciprocal responsibilityReciprocal responsibility


12/48

12

A REALISTIC VIEW OF SELF ANDA REALISTIC VIEW OF SELF AND

OTHERSOTHERS

A realistic view ofA realistic view of

selfself An accurateAn accurate

perception of othersperception of others


13/48

13

Johari WindowJohari Window[[Joseph Luft & Harrington]Joseph Luft & Harrington]

KNOWN TO SELF NOT KNOWN TO SELFKNOWN TO SELF NOT KNOWN TO SELF

KNOWNKNOWN

TOTOOTHERSOTHERS

NOTNOTKNOWNKNOWN

TOTO

OTHERSOTHERS

11

OPENOPEN22

BLINDBLIND

33

HIDDENHIDDEN

44

UNKNOWNUNKNOWN


14/48

14

Effective interpersonalEffective interpersonal

CommunicationCommunication Be sensitive to feelings of others.Be sensitive to feelings of others. Be a good sender and receiver.Be a good sender and receiver.

Be Empathetic.Be Empathetic. Give & receive feedback.Give & receive feedback. Listen to others patiently &Listen to others patiently &

actively.actively. Mind Verbal and nonverbalMind Verbal and nonverbal

communication.communication.ACTIVITY


15/48

15

Process of CommunicationProcess of Communication

SENDERSENDER RECEIVERRECEIVER

FEEDBACK

MESSAGEEncodesEncodes DecodesDecodes


16/48

16

Key to effective interpersonal communicationKey to effective interpersonal communication

Seek first to understand,

then to be understood

- Stephen R Covey


17/48

17

INTERPERSO

NAL ACCO

MMOD

ATIO

NINTERPERSO

NAL ACCO

MMOD

ATIO

N

Basic Process ofBasic Process ofAccommodationAccommodation

Conflicting, CongruentConflicting, Congruent& Complementary& ComplementaryPattern ofPattern ofAccommodationAccommodation


18/48

18

IMPROVING SOCIAL COMPETENCEIMPROVING SOCIAL COMPETENCE

Helping to meet the needs of othersHelping to meet the needs of others

Helping the other person feel acceptedHelping the other person feel accepted

Approving the person while disapprovingApproving the person while disapprovinghis behaviourhis behaviour

Expressing praise and appreciationExpressing praise and appreciation

Learning to give criticismLearning to give criticism Giving the other person a goodGiving the other person a good

reputation.reputation.


19/48

19

MAINTAINING INTEGRITYMAINTAINING INTEGRITY

Taking a stand when itTaking a stand when itis indicatedis indicated

Learning when and howLearning when and howto say Noto say No

Exercise


20/48

20

BEING SENSITIVEBEING SENSITIVE

(to the requirement of the situation(to the requirement of the situation))

Respecting socialRespecting socialconventionsconventions

Understanding roleUnderstanding rolerequirementsrequirements


21/48

21

SOURCES OF DIFFICULTY INSOURCES OF DIFFICULTY IN

RELATIONSHIPRELATIONSHIP I-ITORIENTATION

EGO-CENTRICITY

MANIPULATION DECEITFULNESS

OVERCONFORMITY

OVERDEPENDENCY

REBELLIOUSNESS


22/48

22

SOURCES OF DIFFICULTY INSOURCES OF DIFFICULTY IN

RELATIONSHIPRELATIONSHIP HOSTILITY

INFERIORITY FEELING

EMOTIONAL PREJUDICE

UNREALISTICEXPECTATIONS


23/48

23

General PrinciplesGeneral Principles Remember we are dealing with emotions,Remember we are dealing with emotions,

prejudice, and vanity as well as with logic.prejudice, and vanity as well as with logic. Try to get other persons point of view.Try to get other persons point of view. Everybody is more interested in himself.Everybody is more interested in himself. We can make others feel important withWe can make others feel important with

manners & little courtesies.manners & little courtesies. Hatred is never ended by hatred but by love.Hatred is never ended by hatred but by love. Nobody likes blunt assault on the ego.Nobody likes blunt assault on the ego. Always suggest and let others conclude.Always suggest and let others conclude.

Be a good listenerBe a good listener-- never interrupt.never interrupt. Other man may be totally wrong but weOther man may be totally wrong but wecannot make him think so.cannot make him think so.

We cannot win an argument.We cannot win an argument.


24/48

24

General PrinciplesGeneral Principles Life is an echo/ a boomerang. We see things not as they are but as we are. Avoid envy/jealousy-crab mentality. Adopt win/win principle.

Accept responsibility. Choose your words carefully. Do not criticize/complain. Smile, be humorous & kind. Give honest & sincere appreciation. Accept mistakes immediately & willingly. Congratulate when someone admits faults.


25/48

25

Be grateful but do not expect gratitude.Be grateful but do not expect gratitude.

Avoid bearing grudgesAvoid bearing grudges-- Forgive & Forget.Forgive & Forget. Beware of halfBeware of half--truths.truths. Practise Humility.Practise Humility. Be understanding & caring.Be understanding & caring.

Avoid egoAvoid ego--I know it all attitude.I know it all attitude. Practise courtesy on daily basis.Practise courtesy on daily basis. Never be sarcastic to put others down.Never be sarcastic to put others down. Show Empathy.Show Empathy. Try to be a better person.Try to be a better person. Pray & Meditate.Pray & Meditate.

Meditation


26/48

26

RememberRememberThe six most important wordsThe six most important words

I admit I made a mistakeI admit I made a mistake..The Five most important wordsThe Five most important words

You did a good job.You did a good job.The four most important wordsThe four most important words

What is your opinion?What is your opinion?The three most important wordsThe three most important words

If you pleaseIf you please..The two most important wordsThe two most important words

Thank youThank youThe one most important wordsThe one most important words..

WEWEThe Least important wordThe Least important word

II


27/48

27


28/48

28

Each person has:Each person has: Three Ego States

PARENT

ADULT

CHILD


29/48

29

PARENT

ADULT

CHILD


30/48

30

NURTURING

PREJUDICIAL

A

P

C


31/48

31

According to Claude Steiner Parent

Ego State is divided into:

1) Nurturing Parent

2) Critical Parent


32/48

32

P

A

Adapted ChildLittle Professor

Natural Child

Experiences &

Parental training

that influences theChildEmerging

Adult in Child Untrained infant

in the Child


33/48

33

Any time one person recognises another with

a smile,

a nod,

a frown,

a verbal greeting, etc.

in TA language, is called a STROKE

Two or more strokes make a transaction


34/48

34

Types ofTransactionsTypes ofTransactionsComplementary

Crossed

Ulterior


35/48

35

ComplementaryTransaction

ComplementaryTransaction

A message sent from a specific ego state,

gets the predicted response from others

specific ego state

Appropriate & expected & follows the

natural order of healthy human relationships

(Berne)


36/48

36

P

A

C

P

A

C

1

2


37/48

37

P

A

C

P

A

C

1

2


38/48

38

Crossed Transaction

Crossed Transaction

An unexpected response is made to the

stimulus

An inappropriate ego state gets activated

Lines of transacting between the people are

crossed

A frequent source of pain between people


39/48

39

P

A

C

P

A

C

2

1


40/48

40

UlteriorTransactions

UlteriorTransactions

Most Complex Transaction

Involve more than two ego statesUlterior message sent is disguised

under a socially acceptable

transaction


41/48

41

P

A

C

P

A

C


42/48

42

ASSERTIVENESSASSERTIVENESS

Behaviour that demonstratesBehaviour that demonstrates

your self respect and respect foryour self respect and respect for

othersothers

It is not Aggression or PassivityIt is not Aggression or Passivity


43/48

43

Aggressive BehaviourAggressive Behaviour

Getting your own point across at otherGetting your own point across at otherpeoples expensepeoples expense

Getting your own way, no matter whatGetting your own way, no matter what

Getting people do the things they dontGetting people do the things they dont

want to dowant to do Being loud, violent, abusive, interruptingBeing loud, violent, abusive, interrupting

othersothers

Winning at all costWinning at all cost

Aggression can be direct or indirect.Aggression can be direct or indirect.


44/48

44

Aggressive BehaviourAggressive Behaviour

Wins argument at the expense ofWins argument at the expense ofothersothers

Is felt to be a prosecutorIs felt to be a prosecutor

Is disliked and fearedIs disliked and feared Is overbearing to othersIs overbearing to others

Is seen as wilful and uncaringIs seen as wilful and uncaring

But is really a coward underneathBut is really a coward underneath


45/48

45

Passive behaviourPassive behaviour

Keeping quiet for fear of upsetting othersKeeping quiet for fear of upsetting others Bottling things upBottling things up

Avoiding conflict at any costAvoiding conflict at any cost

Always putting other peoples needs firstAlways putting other peoples needs first

Not expressing your feelings, preferencesNot expressing your feelings, preferences

Going along with things you dont agree withGoing along with things you dont agree with

Inwardly burning with anger & frustrationInwardly burning with anger & frustration

Bing vague about your ideasB

ing vague about your ideas Indecisive while really knowing what you wantIndecisive while really knowing what you want


46/48

46

Passive PeoplePassive People

Loses arguementLoses arguementDont do what they want or needDont do what they want or need

Is indecisiveIs indecisive

Is negative, self pityingIs negative, self pitying

Is lacking in will powerIs lacking in will power

May become bitter and resentful inMay become bitter and resentful inlater lifelater life


47/48

47

Assertive BehaviourAssertive Behaviour

Honest to self and other peopleHonest to self and other people Listening to others point of viewListening to others point of view

Understands others situationUnderstands others situation

Expressing self but not at the expenseExpressing self but not at the expenseof othersof others

Able to reach workable solutionAble to reach workable solution

Making decisions, dealing with conflicts,Making decisions, dealing with conflicts,speaking upspeaking up

Honest and caringHonest and caring


48/48

48

Assertive BehaviourAssertive Behaviour

WinWin--Win strategyWin strategy Conflicts are resolved openlyConflicts are resolved openly

Early solutionsEarly solutions

Confidence increasesConfidence increases

Recognition by othersRecognition by others

Retain their dignityRetain their dignity

GrievanceGrievance the missed promotionthe missed promotion

interpersonal skills.vj

Documents