ismr 2007 doorway diplomacy: one on one communications that build trust december 4, 2006 jasper,...

ISMR 2007ISMR 2007

Doorway Diplomacy: Doorway Diplomacy:

One On One Communications That One On One Communications That Build TrustBuild Trust

December 4, 2006December 4, 2006

Jasper, IndianaJasper, Indiana

Doorway DiplomacyDoorway Diplomacy

How To Say It and Get Away With It!How To Say It and Get Away With It!


Are you an Ambassador?Are you an Ambassador?

What is an Ambassador?What is an Ambassador?

11 :: an official envoy; an official envoy; especiallyespecially :: a a diplomatic agent of the highest rank diplomatic agent of the highest rank accredited to a foreign government or accredited to a foreign government or sovereign as the resident representative of sovereign as the resident representative of his own government or sovereign or his own government or sovereign or appointed for a special and often temporary appointed for a special and often temporary diplomatic assignmentdiplomatic assignment2 a2 a :: an authorized representative or an authorized representative or messenger messenger bb :: an unofficial representative an unofficial representative <traveling abroad as <traveling abroad as ambassadors ambassadors of of goodwill>goodwill>


But, I don’t want to be an ambassador.But, I don’t want to be an ambassador.


Are you an Ambassador?Are you an Ambassador?

You ARE an Ambassador!You ARE an Ambassador!


Components of a Message:Components of a Message:

WordsWords

ToneTone

Body LanguageBody Language

7%7%

38%38%

55%55%


How well do you represent your agency?How well do you represent your agency?


She said…She said…

““I thought you told me I would not feel I thought you told me I would not feel anything? The blast shook the whole anything? The blast shook the whole house…a picture fell off the wall, but house…a picture fell off the wall, but it didn’t break…I didn’t like it…I am it didn’t break…I didn’t like it…I am going to call DPE and tell them it is going to call DPE and tell them it is not acceptable.”not acceptable.”


He said…He said…

““Well, I’ll tell ya. Lookin at the records Well, I’ll tell ya. Lookin at the records you should’nt have felt anything…We you should’nt have felt anything…We are within the regulations. I can’t are within the regulations. I can’t help you.”help you.”


Translation?Translation?


Components of a Message:Components of a Message:

WordsWords

ToneTone

Body LanguageBody Language

7%7%

38%38%

55%55%


Words MatterWords Matter

AlwaysAlways

NeverNever

ASAPASAP

RecentlyRecently

NowNow

A FewA Few


ToneTone PitchPitch

PacePace

VolumeVolume

Doorway DiplomacyDoorway DiplomacyBody LanguageBody Language

DO’sDO’s

SmileSmile

Eye ContactEye Contact

Square StanceSquare Stance

AppearanceAppearance

DON’TsDON’Ts

IgnoreIgnore

Divide AttentionDivide Attention

Twist and TurnTwist and Turn

Be SloppyBe Sloppy


Four Types of Listening:Four Types of Listening:

Tracking.Tracking. Passive.Passive. Active.Active. Contextual.Contextual.


Contextual Listening – what is the real Contextual Listening – what is the real question that needs to be answered? question that needs to be answered?

What do they really want to know?What do they really want to know?


Barriers to Effective ListeningBarriers to Effective Listening

External FactorsExternal Factors– Noise.Noise.– Weather.Weather.– Distance.Distance.– Distractions.Distractions.

Internal FactorsInternal Factors– Prior experience.Prior experience.– Emotion.Emotion.– Perception.Perception.– Semantics.Semantics.


Assess.Assess.

Clarify.Clarify.

Respond.Respond.


Assess:Assess:

– What is happening?What is happening?– What needs to be done?What needs to be done?

PeoplePeopleTimingTimingDesired ResultsDesired ResultsExecutionExecution


Clarify:Clarify:

– Verify what you think you know.Verify what you think you know.– Ask Who, What, When, Where, How.Ask Who, What, When, Where, How.– Replace “…but,” with “…and,….”Replace “…but,” with “…and,….”– Summarize and get agreement.Summarize and get agreement.


Respond:Respond:

– Say it.Say it.We remember the first and last thing we We remember the first and last thing we

hear.hear.

– Explain it.Explain it.Speak English and use common terms.Speak English and use common terms.

– Repeat it.Repeat it.We remember the first and last thing we We remember the first and last thing we

hear.hear.


DODO– Acknowledge Acknowledge

people.people.– Listen and Watch.Listen and Watch.– Have a message.Have a message.– Ask “W” questions Ask “W” questions

with “…and…”with “…and…”– Speak English.Speak English.

– Offer hope and Offer hope and options.options.

DON’TDON’T– Pass on or ignore.Pass on or ignore.

– Assume or judge.Assume or judge.– Guess.Guess.– Use “…but…”Use “…but…”

– Confuse, Defend, Confuse, Defend, Deny.Deny.

– Take it or leave it.Take it or leave it.


Respond:Respond:

– Say it.Say it.We remember the first and last thing we We remember the first and last thing we

hear.hear.

– Explain it.Explain it.Speak English and use common terms.Speak English and use common terms.

– Repeat it.Repeat it.We remember the first and last thing we We remember the first and last thing we

hear.hear.

ismr 2007 doorway diplomacy: one on one communications that build trust december 4, 2006 jasper,...

Documents

doorway diplomacy words

doorway diplomacy components

doorway diplomacy barriers

doorway diplomacy translation

sloppy slide

indiana slide

authorized representative

resident representative