issue 2 2011

THE HILARIAN 02/2011

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HHIILLAARRIIAANN

ISSUE 2 2011

Law’s a bitch


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A career at Lipman Karas provides opportunitiesand experiences that are unrivalled in South Australia.

Lipman Karas offers practitioners a chance to workwith lawyers who are recognised as leaders in theirfield on litigation projects, investigations and inquiriesthat are unique in both magnitude and complexityacross many jurisdictions.

Clerkship applications close 22 April 2011.For information regarding the application processplease visit www.lipmankaras.com

www.lipmankaras.comAUSTRALIA HONG KONG

Lipman Karas is a specialist legal practice representingcorporate, government and private clients.

With offices in Adelaide and Hong Kong, our teamhas a proven track record of consistently outstandingresults in some of the most challenging, complex andhigh profile commercial litigation in the Asia Pacificregion and internationally.


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THIS IS THE CONTENTS PAGE!

EDITORIAL 4-‐5

HILARIAN NEWS 6-‐7

HOW TO EMBELLISH YOUR RESUME 8-‐9

THE ART AND THE LAW SCHOOL 10-‐11

DISPUTE RESOLUTION AND ETHICS QUIZ #1 12-‐13

LAW OF TORTS TAKE HOME EXAM 14

INTELLECTUALLY SPEAKING... 15

ASK US QUESTION. WE TELL ANSWER. 16-‐17

RECIPE FOR EXAM SUCCESS 18-‐19

OSAMA BIN HIDIN 20-‐21

A DAY AT THE RACES 22-‐23

LAW BALL: DRESS TO IMPRESS 24-‐25

BOMBASTIC BOOK TITLES 27-‐28

@CONFESSIONS OF A LAW LIBRARIAN 29

AT THE PUB CRAWL 30

THE COOK AND THE HILARIAN 31

Editors: Contributors:Publisher:

A career at Lipman Karas provides opportunitiesand experiences that are unrivalled in South Australia.

Lipman Karas offers practitioners a chance to workwith lawyers who are recognised as leaders in theirfield on litigation projects, investigations and inquiriesthat are unique in both magnitude and complexityacross many jurisdictions.

Clerkship applications close 22 April 2011.For information regarding the application processplease visit www.lipmankaras.com

www.lipmankaras.comAUSTRALIA HONG KONG

Lipman Karas is a specialist legal practice representingcorporate, government and private clients.

With offices in Adelaide and Hong Kong, our teamhas a proven track record of consistently outstandingresults in some of the most challenging, complex andhigh profile commercial litigation in the Asia Pacificregion and internationally.


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FROM THE EDITORS

BITCH.


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LETTERS TO THE EDITORS

wahwah was polite only when on the


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The Hilarian News STUDENT ADVISOR ANSWERS EMAIL WAY TOO QUICKLYAndrew Christopher


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The Hilarian News STUDENT USES LAW LIBRARY COMPUTER FOR WORK-‐RELATED PURPOSEKen Menz


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How to Embellish Your Resume

a)

or;

c)

d)

Lily Black

Previous Experience? Well I Have Seen All Six Versions of Law and Order.

I’m My Own Best Referee! Oh You Want A Real Referee. Damn.

never


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Shed No Tears Over Your Volunteer Experience!

I’m 1/16th Azerbaijani and I’ll Sing it Loud and Proud.

Final Thoughts.


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Maddison Barford

Let Me Touch Your Scroll.

Who Are We to Judge?


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Don’t Tell Grandma.

Not A Place to Sit.

The Vagrancies of Time.


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Crindy Sandwich


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This is the

This is the most

This is the

Crindy Sandwich


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TAKE HOME EXAM ASSIGNMENT1

Emily Taliangis

Advise generally.


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Intellectually Speaking…


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ASK US QUESTION, WE TELL ANSWER.Ken Menz presents

Henry Turner-‐Trenthem-‐Tranthem Miles Furnsher

Hi gang, there’s a cute guy in my Torts seminar and

near him I freeze up! How do I ask him out? Cindy.

of

Hiya guys, what is the meaning of

contracts? David

What drink should I have at Law Ball to be cool?

I drink, people seem to judge me! Help! Natalie


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Sara Colliver Kevin Dunt Maggie Beer

I think contracts is in the

to print a pdf and the printer


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Recipe for Exam Success DELIA OBST


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OSAMA BIN HIDIN

January 12 2007Discovered a great recipe for banana bread; the secret is to grind your own flour! Yum! Must make sure to tell Ahmed when he’s next over. I know he’ll be excited. There’s nothing more satisfying then working hard for something.

May 3 2007Lysha (wife no. 4) brought some new fabric home today. The fabric is lilac with a cream motif and I’m planning to make some new curtains for the living room. This means I’ll have to drag the sewing machine out from the cellar. I like going down to the cellar; you find all sorts of knick-knacks and trinkets that accumulate over the years. You never think about them at the time, but they always bring a smile don’t they? Just last week I found some porcelain figures of Princess Di and Charles. I placed them on the mantelpiece.

June 13 2007The spring fighting season has well and truly begun and the house has begun to take a different feel already. I have personally slaughtered over 11 infidels and its only mid-June! I really missed the way it felt when my scimtar cuts through their evil skin, but boy golly does it make a mess. I must have been on my knees scurbbing out blood all morning!

December 2 2007I’m feeling really under-appreciated at the moment. Cyneshia (wife no. 1) asked me whether she could host a New Year’s Eve party but I feel like I’m the only one hosting anything at the moment! I spent my morning putting together a chicken, almond and spinach salad (thanks Nigella!) and cleaned the place from top to bottom in the afternoon.

March 22 2008I wrote a poem today called ‘My Feelings’:

Why did I have to die?They shout, why?Gone too soon,Man in the moon.I’ll say hello from above, All and one, to love.

I think I’m going to enter it in the ‘Reader’s Digest – Everyone’s a Poet!’ competition. First place gets a free bread knife!


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June 13 2008I am sick of the Western Media saying I’m finished. I’ve devised a new plan to remind people exactly how big I really am! I’ve got two words for you: ‘suicide turkeys’. Come Christmas time, millions of Western families will be sitting down to a nice Christmas lunch only to have their faces blown off by main course!

April 12 2008These are the songs I’m listening to today:

Bleeding Love – Leona Lewis Nothing Compares 2 U – Sinead O’ConnorBig Girls Don’t Cry – Fergie

November 11 2008THOSE DAMM COURIERS! I was unable to infiltrate an Ingham’s factory due to their outrageous demands for paid holidays. What, is every day Ramadam to them? I’m going to have to alter the standard terms and conditions of their contracts because these couriers have been getting away with far too much!

April 12 2009A big happy birthday to The Hilarian’s editor Patrick McCaffrie. He is my favourite editor and is clearly the most talented of the 5 editors. Someone should give him extra credit points because he needs them.

September 11 2009No party this year – just a quiet get-together with some close friends – until Ahmed brought out the homemade Baileys!

February 30 2009I am going to have to come up with a new plan to make these infidels sorry for what they did. I have told Zawahiri that he should start stalking Angelina Jolie so that we can hurt America where it hurts; Mrs. Smith! This will be the terror attack that finally ends the battle…

August 19 2010As much as I hate the West, I do love Jenna Jameson. I don’t understand how people stay dedicated to the West-hating thing. There’s just so much to love about it! Also, the Angelina Jolie plan failed – Zawahiri just ended up becoming addicted to Zumba! Now he’s opening up Karachis first studio. Typical!

November 3 2010Heading into another winter – that means getting started on a project I’ve been putting off too long. It’s time to start that Gilmore Girls marathon I promised myself. Those girls are so fast-talking I’m going to have to put the subtitles on!

April 16 2011I think I am going to die soon. I spoke to a sooth-sayer and they thought that I had very few days to live. I like to believe that sooth-sayers are telling the truth because I like to. I’m a bit gullible like that. Then again, the sooth-sayer was actually a Horoscopes section ripped out of a 1999 Cosmopolitan issue.

May 1 2011It’s fajitias today! Tomorrow I think I’m going to make a lasagna...


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lips was

followed when these two sides clashed in a


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LAW BALL: Dress to Impress

DELIA OBST


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Graduating soon?

If you want to seek admission as a lawyer then you should enrol in Practical Legal Training (PLT) with The College of Law.

The College is Australia’s only truly national PLT provider offering programs in Sydney, Melbourne, Brisbane, Perth and Canberra.

Our Graduate Diploma of Legal Practice offers: multiple start dates throughout the year full-time and part-time options to suit your work situation flexible online learning platform Practice Papers included free of charge online legal job board to help you find work experience

experienced practitioners as lecturers

Ask for our 2011 Handbook today.

Call us on 1300 856 111 or visit www.collaw.edu.au/plt


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Graduating soon?

If you want to seek admission as a lawyer then you should enrol in Practical Legal Training (PLT) with The College of Law.

The College is Australia’s only truly national PLT provider offering programs in Sydney, Melbourne, Brisbane, Perth and Canberra.

Our Graduate Diploma of Legal Practice offers: multiple start dates throughout the year full-time and part-time options to suit your work situation flexible online learning platform Practice Papers included free of charge online legal job board to help you find work experience

experienced practitioners as lecturers

Ask for our 2011 Handbook today.

Call us on 1300 856 111 or visit www.collaw.edu.au/plt

Bombastic Book TitlesWill Maitland delights in this game for all ages. Can

Answers on the following page!


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Answers!!! Yay! Party!Touchy


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LawLibrarianAdel

LawLibrarianAdel

LawLibrarianAdel

LawLibrarianAdel @FlindersLaw

LawLibrarianAdel

LawLibrarianAdel

LawLibrarianAdel

LawLibrarianAdel RT

LawLibrarianAdel

LawLibrarianAdel

Confessions of a Law Librarian @LawLibrarianAdel


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Margaret & David:

At THE PUBCRAWLAULSS Pub Crawl One: I Am Lawsome

Further comments


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THE COOK AND THE HILARIAN Ken Menz

Chocolate Ganache Tort

Ingredients

1.

3.

2.

4.


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I don’t care if

your twin brotherdied. G

ET THE

HELL O

UT O

F M

Y OFFICE.

issue 2 2011

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