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Special Note From Tim McAuley regarding thecontent of this document: You have my permissionto distribute this document freely to anyone andeveryone you like as long as it is left completelyintact, unchanged and delivered via this exact PDFfile with the title page intact.

Under no circumstances will you be permitted to re-print, or use this content in any way, shape or form without the sole permission of Tim McAuley /HopeLincoln Unlimited. If you would like to inquire aboutthe rights to use this content please

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information. Adherence to all applicable laws andregulations, federal, state, and local, governingprofessional licensing, business practices,advertising, and all other aspects of doing businessin the United States or any other jurisdiction is thesole responsibility of the Reader.

The Author and Publisher assume no responsibilityor liability whatsoever on the behalf of any Purchaseror Reader of these materials. Any perceived slightsof specific people or organizations are unintentional. Thanks in advance for your cooperation.

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iii

It‘s All About Me!

A Soul Surfer's Guide to Happiness

Through the Mastery of Self

Tim McAuley



iv

Copyright ©2011 by Tim McAuleyAll rights reserved.

Published by:Hope Lincoln UnlimitedP.O. Box 117Buffalo, Ohio 43722

Email: [email protected]: http://isitallaboutme.com

Publishers Cataloging in Publication Data

McAuley, Tim 1976-It’s All About ME! A Soul Surfer's Guide to HappinessThrough the Mastery of Self (second edition)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2011907514ISBN-100983536503

ISBN-139780983536505



v

In Loving Memory

Adam Scott Deegan, September 8, 2000- January 4,

2011. Making you proud of me has been my mission since

the day you were born. Uncle Timmy wishes you were still

here to see this book. I will be with you soon. Until then,

in your honor, I will throw my deuces up.



vi



vii

Dedications

To Dee Dee, without your trust, faith, and

dedication, I wouldn‘t be me, and therefore this book

wouldn‘t be here. Thank you so much for everything. Our

countless hours on the phone have produced some

amazing results; I did my best to transpose what we‘ve

learned together in this book.

To Jennifer, you have said it over and over again,

from the beginning of our relationship, ―Write a book‖.

Thanks for your persistence and patience. I pray that you

enjoy this.



viii



ix

Special Thanks

First, I would like to thank my mom for her

unconditional love and my dad for all the inspiring lessons

that taught me how to be a good man. Without the work

ethic you‘ve instilled in me, this book wouldn‘t have

gotten here. I love you both so very much.

To ―my sissy,‖ Melissa Deegan, you have always

been my hero. Your strength and spirit inspire me every

day. I am forever in awe of you. You are one of the most

amazing women I‘ve ever known. It is such an honor to

have you as a sister.

To Jeff, I want to thank you for being the man thatyou are. You are the perfect man for my sister, and a great

father. I am proud to be able to call you family.

Chelsea, Brett, and Danica: I love you guys with all

my heart and think of you each and every day. I hope I

am an uncle you can be proud to call yours.

My entire family, there are way too many of you to

list separately. I love and cherish each one of you for very

different reasons.

Next, I would like to thank Lorie Owens and

Thomas McGough for helping me discover my own

unique gifts and talents. Without you two people I wouldhave never celebrated a birthday past 17. I am forever



x

grateful for you both. It took me a little while to hear you,

but my first book is finally here. Thank you.

I would like to thank Jerry Eltringham, Michael

Kuklica, Peter Arnold, Barry ―Buddha‖ Nelson, Dr. Mark,

Dr. Melanie Erceg, Yonnus Becker, Nianna Rose Bray,

Helena Nash, Ana Ligia Lacerda Galvao, and Eric

Schlosser. At different times in my life, my direction was

greatly changed by your presence. I am who I am in large

part because you were there on a particular day.

I would like to thank the people mentioned and

implied throughout the pages of this book, Chris Cram,

Shaun Flowers, Dr. Melanie Erceg, Joel Herzer, and Alford

Harris just to name a few.

To my editors: Tiffany Johnson who asked the

perfect questions that helped form the structure of this

book. Pete Arnold thank you for catching the errors

Tiffany missed in her job as a proof reader. Thanks for

demanding I put the first printing on hold to fix them. I

would have looked very foolish publishing a book with

those mistakes in it. Thank you for proof reading the bookwith me. I left a few mistakes in for the hell of it. Finally,

thank you Jill Sallade Packard for taking the time to go

through the book and clean it up for the second edition.

Thank you to all the people that had a hand in

creating the first cover.



xi

Thank you, Megan Johnson for your wonderful

cover, logo, greeting cards, and t-shirt designs. Thank you

Aaron Paulley for that wonderful ―Head Shot‖, I love your

work man. Keep snapping off pictures.

The tone of this book wouldn‘t be what it is

without Jeff Eamer and his timely advice to be simple,

write more choppy and punchy, and when I write, to just

be me (a bartender who loves the word douche).

Zedrick Allen Clark, thank you for taking the time

to read the manuscript. Thank you for giving me advice

and connecting me with amazing people. Finally, thank

you for the introduction to this book. I thank you from the

core of my being.

To all of you who were part of my journey. To

mention each of you would fill another book entirely.

My love and gratitude goes to the loving

community at Orchard Hills Baptist Church in Newnan,

GA. To all who were called to action when Adam was

taken from us, my deepest thanks. I have now witnessedfirst-hand the awesome power of fellowship.

A most special thanks to Dr. Stacy Thomas,

Desiree, and Stacey, I am forever grateful you three are

part of my sister‘s life.

Finally, to the source energy, zero point field,collective unconsciousness I feel in every cell and fiber of

being almost every moment of my day; thank you God for



xii

my journey. Thank you for allowing me to misuse my free

will, for bringing all the people in my life to teach me the

hard lessons, and thank you for the short time you gaveme with my little man Adam Scott Deegan. Finally, thank

you for the love, the joy, and the peace I feel today.

Sincerely,

Me.



xiii

TABLE OF CONTENTS

Chapter 1 .................................................................................. 29

I DROPPED IN ........................................................................ 29

Chapter 2.................................................................................. 34

PERSPECTIVE IS SUBJECTIVE ......................................... 34

SEMANTICS OF ME .......................................................... 35

THE QUEST OF FREEDOM BEGINS WITH ME. .......... 37

Chapter 3 .................................................................................. 41

WHY IS IT ALL ABOUT ME? ............................................... 41

SO WHAT‘S THE POINT?................................................. 43

Chapter 4 .................................................................................. 45

WHO DO I THINK I AM? ..................................................... 45

AM I A CONCEPTUAL DELUSION ............................... 49

MY DELUSION ................................................................... 52

Chapter 5 .................................................................................. 55

MEETING A POWER GREATER THAN TIM ................... 55

Chapter 6 .................................................................................. 61

GOD: A SEMANTIC DISCUSSION ..................................... 61

LET THE TRUTH SET YOU FREE ................................... 62

FIND ‗I AM‘ ......................................................................... 63

MOUNTAINS OF SEMANTICS ....................................... 64



xiv

Chapter 7 .................................................................................. 69

THE GOOD AND THE BAD OF IT ..................................... 69

THE SOURCE IS THE SOURCE OF COURSE OF

COURSE ............................................................................... 70

THE DAMNEDEST THINGS ............................................ 72

Chapter 8 .................................................................................. 79

OUR THOUGHTS CREATE THE FUTURE ........................ 79

MUSTARD ........................................................................... 80

BELIEF OR FAITH?? .......................................................... 83

HOW I CREATED MISERY ............................................... 85

Chapter 9 .................................................................................. 93

DISCOVERING THAT MY REAL GURU IS A DOUCHE 93

MY PARADIGM OF MONEY ........................................... 94

MONEY DOES NOT EQUAL WORTH ........................... 96

Chapter 10 ................................................................................ 99

FORMING THE PARADIGM ............................................... 99

THOUGHTS ARE MIXED AND SHAKEN OR STIRRED

............................................................................................. 102

MIND CHATTER .............................................................. 103

YOU ARE A VERY BIG SIX YEAR OLD AT BEST ...... 106

WE HONOR GOD WITH EACH ACT OF

OBSERVATION ................................................................ 107

FREQUENCY ..................................................................... 108

Sample ends HERE.



xv

REST OF THE CHAPTER NAMES

AND SUBHEADINGS

CHAPTER 10 (continued)

MASLOW‘S HIERARCHY OF NEEDS

ANIMAL INSTINCTS

SAFE AND SECURE

A NEED TO BELONG ESTEEM

SELF-ACTUALIZATION NEEDS

DISCOVER THE GAP

WHAT‘S THE PRICE?

Chapter 11

LEARNING TO KNOW THYSELF

BODY TALKS/SCIENCE SCHMIANCE

JUST BREATHE DEEPLY

ANOTHER ATTEMPT TO FREE THE MIND

BODY TELLS

WHERE IS YOUR HEAD?

WHAT‘S NOT SAFE?



xvi

A QUICK RUNDOWN OF MIND BODY CONNECTION

YOU ARE WHAT YOU THINK

Chapter 12

TAKING CONTROL OF AWARENESS

FAITH HEALING

PARADIGM AND MYTH OF LACK

SPIRITUAL INERTIA

THE IDEA OF SEPARATION NO LONGER SUITS US

AS SO WITHIN, SO WITHOUT

Chapter 13

STEPPING INTO CHAOS

NOT SCIENTIFIC PROOF - JUST A METAPHOR

BUTTERFLIES REALIGN ME

ALL WE SEE FLOWS FREELY

Chapter 14

CONDITIONS DON’T HAVE TO CHANGE ME

AHHHHH, SO THIS IS FREEDOM…

METAPHORICALLY SEEKING

Chapter 15

LOOKING PAST THE DELUSION



xvii

YOU ARE WHERE YOU ARE; IT IS WHAT IT IS.

TAKE SOME RESPONSIBILITY

TAKING RESPONSIBILITY

Chapter 16

BE THE CHANGE

HOW TO BE THE CHANGE

RESIST AND PERSIST

WHO ARE WE TO SAY GOOD AND BAD?

IT‘S BETTER TO BECOME UNRAVELED

Chapter 17

CENTEREDNESS

MISUSE OF FAITH

MY MISUNDERSTANDING OF WHO I AM.

WHERE IS YOUR FAITH

THE LESSONS OF DYSFUNCTION: PRICELESS

Chapter 18

I AM THAT I AM

I AM

ONENESS OF BEING

SURRENDER



xviii

Chapter 19

F*@K JACK JOHNSON

F*@K JACK JOHNSON IN BRAZIL

LETTING GO

DETACHMENT AIN‘T EASY

Chapter 20

COMPLETE FREEDOM

NO COUNTRY

WHO ARE WE TO JUDGE?

Chapter 21

LOOKING INTO THE REFLECTION

LEARNING TO LOVE YOUR ENEMY

IT‘S STILL ALL ABOUT ME

ALL YOU NEED IS LOVE

TRIGGERS OF LOVE

Chapter 22

YOUR POWER IS HERE AND NOW

METAPHORICAL TECHNOLOGY



xix

Chapter 23

CLEARING THE PAST

REALLY LETTING GO OF THE PAST

Chapter 24

PULL IT TOGETHER

OUR REACTIONS

LET IT FLOW Error! Bookmark not defined.

THOUGHTS OR PRAYERS

UNANSWERED PRAYERS

Chapter 25

ON MY KNEES

SOUL MATES

MATCHING UP

THE ART OF BEING

BE LOVE

DYSFUNCTIONAL SOUL MATES

WHERE DO I GO WRONG

BOUNDARIES



xx

Chapter 26

THE SOURCE OF LOVE AND MONEY

IS IT CONDITIONAL?

THE PATH OF SUFFERING

Chapter 27

FOR THE LOVE OF YOURSELF

THE ILLUSION OF PAIN

MINE! MINE! MINE!

AS SO WITHOUT, SO WITHIN

Chapter 28

BREAKING FREE

WANTING TO HIT EM IN THE NECK

Chapter 29

HOW DID I GET HERE TODAY?

REMEMBERING THE SOURCE

BELIEF AT THE CORE OF BEING

I CAUSE MY OWN SUFFERING



xxi

Chapter 30

WHY WAIT UNTIL THEN?

CREATE A NEW PARADIGM

CO-CREATING 2010

MY DAILY REMINDER

Chapter 31

GOING PAST THE SELF

THE ATTAINMENT OF DESIRE

EMOTIONALLY FREE

DON‘T GET IT TWISTED

Chapter 32

HARMONY

LIST OF DESIRES

ENVISION THE FUTURE

Chapter 33

THE PERFECT DAY SCENARIO

GET MORE INTO IT



xxii

Chapter 34

DREAM BOARDS

IT TAKES MORE THAN WISHING

FRAME BY FRAME

KEY WORDS

MY OWN KEY WORDS

EXPECT HAPPINESS

A FEW TIMES A DAY

Chapter 35

DON’T GIVE UP WHEN YOU’RE ALMOST THERE

9 Things to Remember



xxiii

Introduction to a Soul Surfer’s

How to Guide

It is with great honor and gratitude I introduce toyou Tim McAuley and his book, ―It‘s All About ME‖.

As a book that could easily change any life for thebetter, It’s All About ME, came into my life after years ofsearching for answers. Immediately I was deeplyencouraged and inspired to be the best person I couldbe. My heart and spirit stirred as its words and messageschallenged and entertained me. Being both simple andprofound, the spiritual wisdom coming through this bookis delivered in the true fashion of a bartender--straight, nochaser.

I began my teenage years yearning for a deeperconnection to a higher power and an inner peace that Iknew was possible to obtain. As a seeker of truth andwisdom, I was continually looking for answers from otherpeople and places. At first, I looked to my family, Godand the Bible for answers, as well as the natural worldaround me. Then I looked to my peers, school teachers,

and writers (mostly of music). Then after realizing theremust be more, I began to study poets, philosophers, andother seekers, such as St. Thomas Aquinas, Alan Watts,Carlos Castaneda and the Dalai Lama, among manyothers. After countless books, lectures, conversations,classes, and experiences, I decided the best I could hopefor was an occasional glimpse into peace andenlightenment.

At some point, probably around the time I realizedI wanted to ―grow up‖ and be a responsible adult, I left the



xxiv

spiritual seeking to others and began to study seekers offinancial success. This led me to Brian Tracy, Steven

Covey, John Maxwell, Dale Carnegie, and other business,success, and self-help writers and speakers; as well as―successful‖ business owners and role models.

Then, in my late twenties, I began havingexperiences that I can only explain as divine guidance. Istarted to connect the dots of my life and began tounderstand its inner workings more and more clearly. As

a result, the one goal I had in life--owning a successfulbusiness that could impact and empower people in apositive way--was accomplished years earlier than I hadpredicted. I even ended up losing this business in a fire.Instead of getting discouraged and giving up, I was able tosee this loss as a wonderful opportunity to start new andhave something even better than I had before—and that isexactly what happened. But even after that, I felt a bit

unsettled. I knew there was more and I felt stagnant.

This acceptance that there had to be more openedme up and allowed me to be drawn to a short personalmeditation retreat which got the candle burning inside meagain. Little by little, I began to feel God‘s presence in myeveryday life and peace came to me more often. Rightwhen I needed them, books and people would come intomy life, saying the exact thing I needed to hear to guide meeven further. Opportunities presented themselves to meand I truly could say, ―I LOVE LIFE!‖ again.

This was also the time when Tim McAuley and Ireconnected after having not seen each other in over 15years. Tim and I grew up just a few miles from each otherand attended the same school; and even though weweren‘t in the same circles and I didn‘t know himpersonally that well, at that time, I knew he was special.



xxv

When we reconnected, I knew right away we

needed to spend more time with each other. As we talkedthat day, and the many days and nights after, I realized hehad an astonishingly deep understanding of things I hadonly skimmed. His understanding of life, spirituality,love, and individual potential and how to use it, left meawestruck! Even more refreshing was his ability tocommunicate in a clear concise way with minimal floweryBS and ego driven vocabulary.

Tim‘s story telling ability and his no nonsenseapproach makes his entire life into one never-endingparable. He truly is a master of self and is a gift to those heconnects with. As it did for me, It’s All About ME can be anopportunity for anyone to connect with Tim and histeachings in a deep and meaningful way.

Whether you follow the modern day spiritualseekers, religious leaders, or ancient philosophers, you willfind this book to not only be a magnifying glass that willbring these ideas into clearer focus, but possibly offer afresh take on being able to clarify your own loving self andyour connection with a higher power. Truly empowering,this book allows you to see the concepts that the greatmasters have communicated for centuries, in a modernway, with modern words, by a truly timeless, yet modernvoice.

When Tim first asked me to read his book, I did notknow what to expect. I went into it with an open mindhoping to help a friend move his dream further ahead, andmaybe learn more about him in the process. I, of course,got all that. However, I got a whole lot more.



xxvi

The book you have in front of you is more than youcould ever glean from a simple title, or my introduction. It

will be something different for each who reads it; but ifyou read it with an open heart and peaceful mind, it willbring you to some personal truths, and guide you tobecome a seeker of a higher purpose and a better you. Itwill also show you that you are not alone in your quest--others out there are just like you.

This book is also for beginners and experienced

alike. You may be inspired to write your own book, oryou may find a new concept that ties together a betterunderstanding of how the world around you works. Youmay find how to make your life, business, and /orrelationship better.

I personally laughed out loud, cried, told friendsstories, and created new ways to describe what I thought

was indescribable in the process of my first reading. I willread this book again. If many of the concepts are new toyou, I suggest you enjoy it in small bites allowing yoursoul to truly savor it. Then, do it all over again!

In the end, you may not have all your questionsanswered, but this book will lead you to the answers thatlie within. You can do what Tim has done for himself ifyou take responsibility and recognize... ―It‘s all aboutYOU.‖

Peaceful Journeys,

Zedrick Clark CNHPNature‘s Food Market of Berlin, President and Proprietor



xxvii

SELECTED QUOTES FROM: Interview: Dr. Timothy Leary "The

Evolutionary Surfer" Article Originally Published in SURFER, January

1978

―One of the best ways of describing what we're doing . . . is

to define our roles as "evolutionary surfers." Everything is

made of waves. At the level of electrons and neutrons ...

it's part of a wave theory. Historical waves -- cultural

waves. The more you think about the evolutionary

process, the more you see the fundamental structure ofnature itself. It's the quantum theory . . . dealing with

quantum leaps and quantum waves . . . things come

packaged in sequential, cyclical, moving, ever-changing

forms.‖

―There's a purity about surfing. There's a great sense of

timing. Of course, if you study how evolution works and

how the DNA code builds bodies and builds species,

timing is of absolute importance. Being in the right place at

the right time -- It happens that whatever you do, you can't

create a wave, you know; it comes and there's a time to

move and a time to lay back. It's almost Taoist poetry.

Almost Einsteinian.‖

―It's just the individual dealing with the power of the

ocean, which gets into the power of lunar pulls, and of

tidal ebbs and flows; and it's no accident that many,

perhaps most, surfers have become almost mystics, or ... I

hate to use the word, spiritual. I prefer the word

neurological excursion. But they've somehow been able toget in touch with the infinity, and into the turbulence of

the power of their own brain, and then they begin‖



xxviii

A WORD OF CAUTIONFirst off let me say that I am no doctor. I hold no

coaching certificate or a license to be a counselor. I am a

bartender who reads and researches self-development.

I have shared my findings with a few people and

the things I‘ve done for myself have worked for them aswell. Those people have encouraged me to write a book.

The exchange of conscious and unconscious

thought is very tricky. But it can be mastered.



29

Chapter 1

I DROPPED INOne day, I somehow managed to become conscious

of the gap between my thoughts. At that moment I

experienced the vibration of pure bliss, a profound senseof personal satisfaction, happiness and joy. I realized the

meaning of eternity. I felt as if time was an illusion, and

for a moment, I existed in a timeless state.

It was September 2005, a few hundred meters off

the sand just south of San Clemente, California. For over a

year I had been struggling, trying to learn to surf. Isearched several months to find a board I could stand on

consistently.

The first board I bought wasn‘t at all a beginner

board. The guy at Killer Dana Surf Shop told me it was a

crappy board, and not to even take it in the water if I

didn‘t know how to surf. ―Get yourself a long board,‖ hesaid. So I did.

My second board was a 10-foot cigar shaped board

with absolutely no balancing point. My third, a 7‘4‖

Stewart Fun Board; it didn‘t help my cause any.

Eventually I quit and tried my hand at online poker.

Seven or eight months later, a friend shaped a board justfor me.



30

By the time the September swell season of 2005

rolled in I had been consistently dropping in on waves.Thanks to my surf partner, a human jukebox of a musician

from Dana Point, California named Chris Cram; I was

surfing every day, sometimes twice. He had talked me

into going with him to replace my morning meetings.

Cram and I had been surfing together for my entire

albeit short surfing ―career.‖ I had decided I wouldn‘t

return to the rooms of Alcoholic Anonymous, and Cram

decided that without support, I would never make it as a

sober man.

Looking back, I‘m pretty sure he was right. I am so

very grateful that he had reached out to me. It was Cram

who explained the concept of a power greater than me,

and it was shortly after a conversation with him, some 14

months later, that I first realized the ever-present state of

bliss and the meaning of eternity.

Cram and I had been paddling out every day for

nearly 6 months when I decided I would quit trying tosurf. I spent most of my time the next eight months

playing online poker. One morning the bartender at my

breakfast spot in Dana Point suggested I give surfing

another try. His argument consisted of the 30 extra

pounds and the lack of skin pigment I had developed in

my eight months in front of a computer screen all day and

tending bar in Laguna Beach at night.



31

The bartender and I decided on a deal. He then

loaned me one of his surfboards while he shaped and

tinted my 9 foot blue bomber. To this day, out of all myboard choices, I love riding that board most. It will always

hold a special place in my heart. Many times, shortly after

catching the ―wave of the day‖, I bow my head and

silently thank that master of the Bloody Mary for

demanding I give him $400.

After the arrival of my new long board Cram and I

spent every morning bobbing side by side in the Pacific

Ocean discussing sobriety, the nature of my higher power,

and anything else we could think of in between sets of

waves.

One morning in mid-September 2005, Cram gave

me a sermon enlightening me to just what made it possible

for the two of us to sit in the ocean and walk on water. He

started by explaining the layout of the ocean floor and the

shelf that sits a few hundred meters off the shoreline of

any body of land.

He then explained to me that three days or so priorto that very moment we floated in our neoprene suits, a

storm brewed just off the coast of New Zealand. Finally,

after traveling thousands of nautical miles, the energy of

that storm pulsed to the shelf that starts the Southern

California coastline. The result of which happened to be

waves much larger than anything I had previously

attempted to ride with any level of success.



32

A set rolled in just as Cram finished his explanation

of wave conditions and south-facing beaches. He paddled

into the second wave. I followed on the wave just behindhim; my mind still numb from contemplating my

oceanography lesson of the day. Before I even dropped

into the wave that seemed to dwarf my 5‘11‖ frame, time

stood still.

As the wave took over the propulsion of my board,

I popped up with grace that I had as of yet shown, and my

feet found the sweetest spots on the board. All that I could

hear was the sound of the ocean and the wind from the

tunnel of water curling just behind me. Nothing else

seemed to exist.

As my nine-foot Shaun Flowers Custom board

carried my body down the face of the wave, I felt no

separation between my feet and the blue tinted fiberglass

covered piece of carved foam. I felt no separation of the

board from the wave, nor did I recognize a separation of

the wave‘s energy from the storm in New Zealand three

days previously that lifted the water underneath my feet

and what seemed like four feet over my head.

As I ran my hand across the wall of water in front

of me, I felt pure bliss and ecstasy. I felt no separation

between me and anything else in this universe. I felt one

with God; even though less than ten seconds before I held

no belief whatsoever in the existence of God.

I rode that wave eternally, for about 20 seconds or

so. It was by far the longest ride of my life, on the biggest



33

wave I had ever seen. I kicked out, landed on the waxy

surface of the board, and paddled back to the spot where

Cram sat screaming, hooting, and flapping his armswildly. It took me a few seconds to tune into his words.

―That‘s it right there duuudeee!! That‘s GOD!

That‘s what I‘m talkin about. You found it brother. Now

try to remember all that philosophy, religious Carl Jung

shit you been talkin and you might just realize what the

hell you‘ve been trying to say….. yeahh brother!‖ Cram‘s

mantic rant about surf stokes and God went on for 10

minutes or so in a manner that you could only understand

if you‘d spent time with the man who once threw a series

of darts into my chest as I slept on his living room floor.

For the larger part of two hours, Cram and I

danced around in eternity, paddling into and trough walls

of wave energy brought to us from around the globe.

I realized that day that the fundamental differences

in schools of philosophy, religions of the world, and

scientific theories, were nothing more than semantics. I

don‘t deny the fundamental differences. I believe it naiveto say all religions are saying the same thing. They‘re not.

But, I do believe they are attempting the best they can to

lead their followers to the same destination. The

destination I discovered and experienced on a wave in

mid-September 2005 just off the coast of San Onofre,

California.



34

Chapter 2

PERSPECTIVE IS SUBJECTIVE

Even today, I have to remind myself that

everything that man claims to know is highly subjective.

It‘s a lot like the view of the room you find yourself infrom the position you sit reading this book. Look around.

What do you see? Check out that space. Now, stand up.

Maybe on the same furniture your body rests now. That

room will look much different to you and will look even

more different if you lie underneath whatever piece of

furniture your body can fit snugly into. That‘s what life‘s

all about - perspective.

It seems human consciousness is on a journey

towards self-realization as it flows through space and time

through localized perspectives (you and me). Currently

consciousness is rejecting the essence of its own being. It‘s

as if we are looking into the world with tunnel vision. We

never come close to the light at the tunnel‘s end. Yet, insome way, we each understand the essence of being, even

before we ever experience it. I was lucky enough in this

lifetime to find it, without the aid of a chemical substance,

a sexual encounter, or another material form other than a

surfboard, wave energy, and cool salty water.



35

SEMANTICS OF ME

The beauty of the nature of being is perpetually lostto me in the semantic ramblings of my conscious mind.

My mind is, at best, minimally aware of what is happening

around me on a moment-by-moment basis. Something is

always churning in my head. I run little scenarios of

futures that may never be, practice conversations that I‘ll

never have, and replay different versions of events from

the memory of the years that have come to pass.

I know I am not alone here. I have been behind a

bar listening to stories for over 13 years now, and I

recognize that a little voice chatters in everyone‘s mind to

some degree or another. Better yet, I realize that the little

voice of my mind serves very little purpose other than

clouding my experience of the present moment.

The words, images, and feelings of the mind

chatter produce a delusional sense of self. I take little care

in choosing which one of the millions of random thoughts

to follow on a moment by moment basis. I seem to have

been reacting as if I didn‘t possess free will most of my life.I have spent much of my life on autopilot; a puppet to

circumstances in a play called Earth.

In the years since my first drop into the eternal

wave of life, I have struggled greatly maintaining my

connection to the blissful cosmic conscious state of mind. I

gain it quickly by surfing. Yoga helps, as does meditationand prayer. But I notice that my mind is misaligned and



36

my observations are misappropriated far too many

moments in my life.

Again, I know I am not alone here. It is the

condition of nearly every human being with whom I have

come into contact. From my first home in Appalachia,

Ohio, to the nightclubs and restaurants from Laguna

Beach, to downtown Los Angeles, to a beachfront

apartment facing south on the coast of central Brazil and

finally back to the place I started, I notice that we all make

poor use of our observational awareness and our

conceptualizing minds.

It seems that we are all trapped in a conditional

state-of-being. My main source of suffering is a

combination of the misuse of my observations and a

dysfunctional paradigm locked deep in my unconscious. I

can‘t deny it any longer. The fact is, since about the age of

six, I have created much suffering in my world both

internally and externally.

I read this quote the other day; ―You create just as

much suffering when you take offense as when you giveit.‖ I have certainly done both for far too often. When I

consider that we are all wired similarly, I can see why it is

so much suffering exists in this world. We focus much of

our thoughts on shadows as we ignore the light. Basically,

we are all a bunch of big six year old kids.



37

THE QUEST OF FREEDOM BEGINS WITH ME.

It appears to me that human consciousness is onthe quest for eternal freedom. At least mine is. Freedom is

the real motivation of our lofty goals in life. Yet, most of

us remain oblivious to the idea of cultivating inner-

freedom. We may press the like button on the Dali Llama

quotes that pop up on Facebook, but few of us really

search ourselves for inner-freedom.

We all have these pressing matters like how to pay

the mortgage, that thing that one person said to us the

other day, and what ―Steve Jobs‖ thinks we should buy

next. The pressing matters we deal with on a moment-by-

moment basis never really seem to translate into our

minds as a part the quest for eternal freedom. But they

are.

The stuff we take interest in, how we spend our

time, and even how we trade our time for money, each

offer us a path towards enlightenment and eternal

freedom. Instead, we have all bought into the delusion of

the material world, and we cause ourselves great sufferingand pain because we hate our jobs, we have very little

time, and we don‘t have enough cool stuff.

Yeah I said it. You are delusional. I‘m serious.

Take today for instance. You woke up and immediately

began to conceptualize the idea of who you are. You

began to list the things you have to do, and most likelyconsidered what tomorrow will bring. I did it too. I woke

up, stretched my arms and before I finished taking in my



38

first deep breath, I held an image of the bar meeting I have

scheduled later today. Oh yeah, I forgot to mention, I am a

bartender.

Before I exhaled my first breath the thoughts of

who I am just rambled on in my mind. I thought about

taking some money to my yoga teacher for this month‘s

membership. I forgot to take it last night, because I got

called into work. I love female yoga teachers!! What can I

say, I am a man.

Next, I reached over and checked my phone. I read

a text message offering a critique of this manuscript, which

led me to this very sentence. I am a writer.

The list goes on and on, and quite frankly, it‘s all

crap. It‘s all a delusion. I can wake up tomorrow and

decide I am none of that and see what happens. But I

already know what will happen. My mind just told me

with the sudden pang of fear that produced the words:

―How are we going to pay rent if you don‘t tend bar,

stupid?‖

This is the plight of my consciousness, and most

likely yours as well. Maybe not the tending bar part, but

change the wording up a little and you‘ll get the point.

We are all trapped in a delusional sense of self from

which we create and perpetuate our own suffering. We

participate moment-by-moment in a world where eachinteraction offers both a chance for enslavement and

freedom. Rest assured folks, there is still hope. Self-



39

realization can be cultivated by each of us. Our delusions,

and the emotions thus derived, can be used more

effectively and freedom is the eventual result. In eachmoment a message can be found that will lead each person

to a sense of eternal bliss. We just have to search

differently and see things from a new perspective.

The continual misuse of our own awareness seems

to be the source from which all human suffering stems. It

makes perfect sense that on days when my mind is

continually preoccupied with crap, life stinks. It is due to

the fact that I am attached to conditions in the manifest

world that produce the emotional states of my being. I

know from years of tending bar, hanging out and

watching TV, most of us fall prey to this condition.

We continually look outside of ourselves to be

fulfilled, happy and complete. Look, if I can‘t be happy

and blissful alone, then nothing outside of me is going to

change that; not even some adorable little yoga teacher.

Sure, the thought of her makes parts of me happy, but I

can't experience true happiness as long as I believe

happiness is coming from anything in manifest form; theworld of form we currently experience.



40



41

Chapter 3

WHY IS IT ALL ABOUT ME?

Happiness is an inside job. We are meant to

cultivate immense happiness, and then share it with the

world. Instead, we mostly demand the world to provide

the feeling for us. Happiness is a state of being and avibration of harmony that is ever-present. It is a choice.

Sometimes the choice isn‘t always so clear, but it is a

choice none-the-less. We have all missed the boat on this

one. Most of us are under the delusion that the outside

conditions of the world must change in order for us to feel

content or happy.

Take romantic relationships for instance. Ideally,

two souls come together in perfect union and become one.

The two that are now one travel through space and time

sharing stories, laughter and love. They support one

another and grow together spiritually as each body ages

and their life force dims and fades away. But, that‘s not

really what I see going on here. I look around and see

romantic partnerships that resemble a roller coaster. Come

to think about it; love is more of a game of tug of war.

Very little freedom in the way love flows exists in

most relationships today. Love is often times conditional.

We somehow have come to expect our partners to always

behave in a manner that makes us feel loved. I have

witnessed some of the silliest fights in grocery stores



42

between people ―in love.‖ Heck, I‘ve had some of the

silliest fights in grocery stores with more than one woman

I have loved.

Somewhere along the line, I became attachment to

the idea that happiness comes from relationships. This has

been one source of emotional and mental suffering for me

nearly all my life. Relationships are confusing. Plutonic

relationships are difficult enough sometimes, while

romantic ones confuse the hell out of me. For the longest

time I thought it was because women are crazy, emotional,

and illogical. I blamed estrogen for causing a chemical

imbalance that made women insane. I even theorized that

I am only attracted to crazy women. It took a while for me

to realize that I was actually walking around with my head

up my butt. (More on that later).

I came to realize that the dynamics of my

relationships had nothing to do with estrogen or unstable

feminine emotions. Those were just icing on the cake. The

real issue is the image I hold of myself in my mind‘s eye.

My inner image always reflects back to me in my dealings

with this world. My blueprint of self-worth always seemsto pop up somewhere in my experiences. Romantic

relationships just seem to hit home hardest. I have been at

my most vulnerable when I want the love and attention of

a particular woman. I have been at my worst as well.

All of my relationships, romantic or otherwise, tell

me a little more about the delusions I hold of who I am. Sodo yours. When I pay close enough attention, I see that all

that manifests into my world of experience are metaphors



43

guiding me towards freedom. We can each cultivate

freedom while still participating in society, if we learn to

see reality as a metaphor.

So here‘s some good news. You don‘t have to

shave your head and move to a mountain just yet. Matter

of fact, you may find it more beneficial to keep

participating in society. When you come to realize that

each person and event in your life is a metaphor of

yourself, you will then realize that the guy you want to

punch in the face is in fact your greatest teacher.

No worries, you can still punch him in the face if

the energy of the moment demands. It may just be the

lesson that his soul wants from you! But, when you find

that you‘re really only punching yourself, you may be able

to turn the other cheek and offer your brother a hug. You

may be able to walk along side of your enemy for a few

extra miles. Ok now, repeat after me, ―It‘s All About Me!‖

SO WHAT’S THE POINT?

What is really the point of me writing this book?

What is it that I hope to accomplish by making these

words available to you? I believe full-heartedly that the

suffering we observe and experience is all the creation of

the conscious mind. I believe that each and every one of

us creates an internal state of being that co-creates all of

what manifests into the world for us to experience. I look

out into this world and see how much needless suffering

and struggle is created. I have been personally responsible



44

for far too much suffering in this world in my short time

on this planet. For that I am truly apologetic. I want

suffering to end, not just for me, but for you and everyoneyou know as well.

Please believe me when I say, I have an intimate

understanding of the feeling of discontentment, sorrow,

and fear. I am no stranger to suicidal thoughts. A good

portion of my life, I spent stoned or drunk from the time I

woke until I passed out. I started getting high around the

age of 14 or so. By my 16th year of life I needed some

chemical help just to be able to get out of bed in the

morning. My delusion of who I was hurt so badly that in

order to stay alive I chose to be numb. Even writing this

now, I am overcome with an emotion I hope none of you

discover in yourselves. If you have, I hope these words

help trigger a sense of connection and wellbeing.

Through my 11 years as a bartender, I have come to

observe that in some way, most of us hurt. I see it

everywhere I go. We are all delusional. We believe that

life is a struggle.

My purpose in writing this book is to offer an

explanation of the struggle and what it is I have done, and

continue to do, to overcome it. I am not saying by any

means I am perfect. But, I can tell you that the state of my

being today is mostly peaceful, and loving, a far cry from

the state of my being about seven years ago.



45

Chapter 4

WHO DO I THINK I AM?

All of my life I have been a gung-ho kind of guy. I

leap before I think. I am very reactive and very passionate

about life. Some say it is the Aries in me. I am not really

sure about all of that, but I do know that in my history Ihave been known to react with forcefulness and an

intensity that is very offsetting and somewhat frightening

when I am triggered into an insecure state of being.

All of my life I have felt that certain conditions had

to be met by people and the world around me in order for

me to feel safe, comfortable, and accepted. Most of my lifeI looked out into the world and blamed events, my

parents, world governments, secret societies, women, men,

and God Almighty for the crappy conditions of my life.

By the age of 28 I nearly drank and drugged myself

to death. I had to make the choice of sobriety. Six years

later I started typing these words, doing the best I can to

help guide my friends to the harmonious, peaceful, loving

state of being in which I‘ve found in myself. For the past

six years, I have been triggered into and have perpetuated

just about every emotional state along the path of the

pendulum from complete bliss to utter despair.

I set my goals, created my dream boards, and did

my meditations. I worked diligently to become a better



46

man and create a better life, only to have all that I had

worked towards crash down around me during one

singular event in May 2009.

My girlfriend and I got pregnant. She decided it

wasn‘t the right time for us to have a child. She went to

Planned Parenthood and took the pill to end the

pregnancy. On the ride to go pick her up I said to my best

friend Dee Dee, ―none of this makes sense anymore and I

don‘t want any of it‖.

Instantly, all of my good fortune was removed.

Funding for my business fell through, problems at work

came up, and I became suicidal and depressed. My

relationship with my partner suffered because of it. Then,

I finally decided to take action. I quit it all: the job, the

relationship, the life.

I sat by the beach for a week breathing and

contemplating. I knew from having been close to death

twice already that I really didn‘t want to end it just yet. I

stared out into the Pacific Ocean all day long

contemplating the life I had lived. I looked at my storyfrom every angle. I broke myself down to nothing and

asked myself what I wanted to do the rest of my life.

So I could pay my bills, I began stocking beer on

Friday and Saturday nights in a Latin club in downtown

Los Angeles. I spent my free time paddling on a canoe in

the Pacific Ocean. That‘s when all that I had learned cameinto focus for me.



47

The hundreds of self-help books I‘ve read and the

different philosophies and religions I have studied began

to become clearer. I started to fully realize my part in all ofthis. I remembered little moments in time when I knew to

take one path and I went the wrong way. I saw the

patterns of my life unfold, and saw exactly what I had

done to get to this point.

Peace settled over me that week and I began to ask

what I could do for the next 33 years. I didn‘t think of

money, fortune, or fame. I thought of what I could do that

came naturally to me. I woke each morning, walked to the

beach, and stopped to have breakfast on the way home. I

asked myself over and over, ―What do we do now? What

are you going to do for the rest of your life?‖

My answer came in a very unusual way. The

woman who owns Benice, a breakfast place in Venice,

California, came to my table to refill my coffee and asked,

―What do you do for a living?

I answered ―I tend bar and stock beer in a club

downtown.‖

She looked at me as if I had two heads and said,

―No silly, you‘re a writer. Get yourself a notebook and

start writing.‖

She and I had never spoken, so I asked her why she

would say that. She explained to me that I sit and observeeverything and everyone in just a certain way that just says

―writer.‖



48

So with that, I began to write this book, attempting

to explain the trappings of the mind and how others can

create better conditions in their lives and free themselveswithout quitting it all. My hope is that these words will

help people heal.

Through this process, I have discovered within me

what I can only describe as bliss. I will never consciously

trade this state of being for anything. But, don‘t get it

twisted, I am no monk. I live fully in the material world as

a spiritual being. The only difference is now I know that

nothing outside of me will complete me or add to me.

But that does not stop me from desiring a better

experience. I love to eat amazing food prepared by

amazing chefs. I want to experience world travel, and I

want to wear clothes made for a king. I want all of the best

things in life, but not because of some need to feel better

about myself. I feel amazing just the way I am. I want all

of those things because it just makes sense. Quality things

are fun to experience, and I don‘t really find it shameful to

take action to make it so. As long as what I do is in

harmony to the state of bliss I feel, and I know I am on theright track.

I have taken more than just the steps of stillness to

cultivate my inner sense of wellbeing. I have harmonized

myself with the highest vision of myself. I adjust that

vision to the achievement of each goal. I have toyed with

different philosophies, meditation practices, and nopractice at all, and have noted the results. This book is

from my observations, experiences, as well as countless



49

hours spent on the phone with Lydia "Dee Dee"

Garlington.

AM I A CONCEPTUAL DELUSION

I have learned that happiness is a choice. Like I

stated before it‘s an inside job. It is part of having free will.

God, The Universe, Consciousness, or whatever you want

to call it, really has no stake in the matter. I am notsuggesting God is impersonal and has left us all to fend for

ourselves, even though much of my life I felt it to be so.

I am suggesting that a concept is communicated

through the state of my being to the source of all things

manifest and comes into my reality. It works unfailingly,

whether I like it or not. When I hold in my personalparadigm the belief that I won‘t amount to anything,

failure is imminent. I have found it nearly impossible to

strive for anything.

―Set goals? Why would I do that?‖

―Write a book? Who the hell do I think I am?‖

―Start another relationship? Really, we‘re gonna

do that again?‖

Those are the words that come into my head on a

moment to moment basis. Those words are the sound of

my delusion.



50

Remember, we‘re all delusional. We will discuss

some pretty deep observations throughout these pages.

Knowing truth and discussing it is often far from living it.

I am not really saying anything new in this book.

Many religious scholars, philosophers, self-help gurus, and

men much smarter than me have been shouting from the

mountaintop for eons. Some guys and gals painted murals

on caves at the dawn of man. But, so long that I can

observe this message has fallen on deaf ears, I will

continue to write and publish books on this topic. I believe

that mankind needs to rediscover the essence and joy of

being. I am certain that we can all experience true

happiness and inner-harmony.

From what I‘ve seen in this world, harmony has

been ignored by the consciousness of mankind, and is

reflected in almost everything we do. Watch the evening

news and see how we lack harmony in our lives.

I am not promising some miracle cure for suffering

once you understand the power of harmony. I am no

doctor, and I am not prescribing anything to you in thefollowing pages. The exercises I describe in this book are

steps I have taken to clear my delusional paradigm from

the depths of my unconscious mind.

I have discovered this path through much trial and

error through six years of self-reflection prior to the start of

this book. I have tested my theories with the help of a fewtrusting individuals, and I have expanded my own

worldview with the help of so many more.



51

This thing we are doing called life is a lot simpler

than I‘ve been making it out to be. I have discovered that

some truths that would have saved me years of suffering

along the way. I hope to share them in a way you can

receive.

I can‘t tell you what will work for you. Most likely,

we‘ve never met. Without talking to you and getting a

sense of where you are with all of this, it is impossible for

me to suggest anything. I can only speak for myself. That

being said, I believe that you and I are not all that

different. It stands to reason that you too will benefit from

some of the things I do and have done to cultivate a sense

of harmony and well-being. I know from experience that

situations exist which trigger the feeling of well-being into

something else, and I do my best not to allow that.

I remind myself of the impermanence of life and all

things material, and I know that every situation is a

reflection of me. I take full responsibility for my reality

and choose to appreciate where I find myself today. A

great joy exists underlying each moment. It‘s our mindchatter that creates the jumbled emotions we feel that are

less than joyful.

Remember a time when you, ―fell in love,‖ and

you‘ll know what I mean when I use the word joy. It‘s that

sense that all is right in the world, that life has meaning,

and that you are completely blessed. You can always havethat joyful sense of being. It just takes a little work, and

not really all that much.



52

MY DELUSION

My self-image for many years told me I amunworthy of love. I am an ugly human being, and I

should be ashamed of who I am. This is the concept of self

that I have lived with most of my life.

For many years I drank and I drugged my way

through life. I chose to go to college because of the

availability of psychedelic substances. I drugged my way

through three years at Kent State in Ohio. I dropped out

and drank my way to California. I became a bartender

because I liked to drink. My image of me was so

intolerable that I almost drank myself to death. I couldn‘t

stand to be me without a little help. Matter of fact, I

couldn‘t stand you if you liked me.

In 2004 a doctor told me he wasn‘t really sure if I

would make it to August even if I quit drinking. My idea

of me began to change dramatically.

For the first time in my life since I was 16 years old,

I had to look into my mirror and see my face with nothingto soften the blow. The first six months of sobriety were

rocky at best. I had to grow a beard so I could spend less

time in front of the mirror. I couldn‘t stand it. Standing

there shaving made me sick to my stomach and filled me

with rage.

I projected that rage everywhere for most of my lifebefore and after my decision to remain sober. The longer I

had to sit with myself, the more I let go of the rage and



53

healed. In some cases I look back and wish I had let go

sooner.

Through the past six years I‘ve been up and I‘ve

been down. One thing is for certain, I have been fully

responsible for it all. I have been romantically involved

with some truly amazing women in my lifetime. Some so

amazing, that I felt so very small and unworthy in their

presence.

To this day, I remember the lessons I have learned

about me through them, and I can see how my own

insecurities forced each of them out of my life. Only by

trial and error have I made it to this point in time.

However, today I am comfortable and free.

I sit here in Ohio, just as I did when I first wrote

this paragraph while sitting on the coast of Brazil, filled

with joy, and gratitude. I am in awe of this thing called

life. I have learned to let go easily of that thing in me that

causes me to suffer. I have learned to be comfortable in

knowing that my perspective is too tiny and too narrow to

understand the vastness of the universe and all that hascome to be. I have learned to feel a power greater than me.



54



55

Chapter 5

MEETING A POWER GREATER

THAN TIM

I still remember sitting on the bench in front of my

favorite bar in Dana Point, California. It was early

morning, August 15, 2004. I smoked a cigarette, sipped

coffee from a pint glass, and waited for my poached eggs,

ham, and wheat toast.

My mind chewed over what Dr. Mark had told me

during my visit in January. I had gone to visit him the

second week of the year because I thought I was having a

nervous breakdown. I found it difficult to sleep. I was

nervous and on edge. I thought I was going to worry

myself to death. I felt hopeless and angry each day I

opened my eyes and realized I had not died in my sleep.

After about five days of not sleeping, I walked intodoctor‘s office crying and begging for help. I didn‘t know

what else to do.

Dr. Mark had known me for some time, and after a

lengthy conversation, he told me that he would help me

only if I quit drinking and using drugs while we worked

together. I agreed. He contacted Joel, the owner of therestaurant I worked and vouched for me. Joel and Alford

allowed me to keep my insurance, and held my position



56

for me while I got myself together. I can‘t begin to explain

how grateful I am for those two in my life.

A few weeks later, after some blood testing, I found

myself being scolded by the Doc for still showing alcohol

in my system. He was pissed that he went to bat for me

and I would lie to him. But, it had been 18 days since my

last drink, so I protested the results.

Two weeks and three tests later Dr. Mark and his

wife explained to me they had been searching for tickets to

send me to Ohio to spend time with my family.

Since the test results were showing improvement

no flight would be necessary. The words of Dr. Mark

played over and over in my head as I waited for my bowl

of eggs, and side of ham, and buttered wheat toast.

―If your count didn‘t go down after this long Tim,

it most likely wasn‘t going to. I‘d say about three months

before your liver started to fail completely and you‘d

probably be dead by mid-August if you hadn‘t quit the

pills and booze exactly when you did. You will recoverfrom this, but you may want to look at your lifestyle.‖

As I put out my cigarette and returned to my

barstool, Cram walked over to me and mentioned he

hadn‘t seen me at any meetings in a while.

It had been a few weeks. I gave my rant about AAmeetings, religions, and cults, much to the chagrin of

Cram.



57

He just said, ―Right on brother, let‘s go surfing

tomorrow!‖

I don‘t know why I agreed so easily. I had been

mostly unsuccessful at surfing previously. But, for

whatever reason I let Cram talk me into it.

The next morning I met Cram for breakfast at

Hennessey‘s and we loaded my 7‘4‖ Stewart Fun

Board into his van and bounced on down to Trestles in San

Clemente.

On the way, we talked a little philosophy. Cram

suggested I think more about the concept of a power

greater than myself right now, and forget about all that

God stuff I have floating in my head. He bluntly said,

―You‘re too angry at religion for God to help you man.

Just get a power greater than yourself and you‘ll be fine.‖

I didn‘t quite understand why Cram laughed

wildly as we started to paddle out. He was floating with a

group of guys and still laughing as my struggle to get

through the mound of whitewash and foam ended.

When I finally made it over to the group Cram

exclaimed, ―I can‘t believe you made it out past the

breaker zone. You‘re a wild man. Well, I guess you‘re

going to learn to surf today Ohio!‖

After explaining to me that it was an unusuallylarge swell for that particular time of the year, and the fact

that I even got out there took a little know-how, he and the



58

rest of the bobbing heads at Trestles decided to give me a

crash course in surfing.

They each took turns explaining just what to do in

order to not get killed when attempting to drop in on those

waves. Then they each took turns demonstrating. As

Cram followed the procession of surfers off the point at

Trestles he said to me, ―Take the next wave, so I can be in

position just in case something goes wrong.‖

I guess I really should have taken that as a cue not

to take the next wave. But I didn‘t.

I paddled myself into position at the peak of the

wave, trying my best to point the nose of the board at an

angle. I popped up just like I was instructed. I remember

thinking something about how much steeper this wave

was than the wave I used to attempt to surf just a mile or

two down the coast nicknamed San O.

I think I was still contemplating that angle and

power of the wave as my face planted into the bottom of it.

I can‘t really recall what I was thinking when that ton ofwater landed on my body and pushed me down beneath

the murky, salty surface of the breaker zone at Lower

Trestles, in San Clemente, California.

I rolled around frantically under the power of that

wave, trying, with all that I had, to not allow my body to

gasp for the air it craved.



59

I got my head to the surface just in time to take a

much needed deep breath, just in time to be met by

another wave. I looked up as a wall of foam crashed onmy face, which is surprisingly a beautiful sight to see.

I repeated this timing over and over again until I

finally reached a spot outside the break zone. After I

pulled the board back to my body, I decided to just float

on back to shore and wait for my ride back to Dana Point.

I dragged my body and carried my board across

the rocky floor of the ocean. I plopped down and either

coughed up or threw up salt water onto the wet sand. I sat

there oblivious for a half hour while Cram surfed.

When he emerged from the water, he laughed as he

yelled out, ―How is that for a power greater than TIM!

You‘re surfing with me every day now brother. Worship

the ocean if you have to, but I‘m draggin‘ your ass with me

every day.‖

He kept that promise for the next six months, until

we decided it was hopeless for me to continue to attemptsurfing. I wouldn‘t revisit the water until some eight

months later, thanks to Shaun Flowers. However, I began

the search for a power greater than myself that continues

to this day.

Today, I sit each morning in stillness doing my best

to connect with that source of all things manifest. I try toobserve and connect with ―God‖ and allow that



60

connection to move me all because of that day when Cram

tried to drown me just to make a point.



61

Chapter 6

GOD: A SEMANTIC

DISCUSSION

People keep getting lost in semantics about source.

Let‘s try the best we can to get on the same page here.

However you wish to call it, there is a zero point

field in which all things exist as pure potential and from

which all things manifest. It is beyond space and time, and

beyond human understanding, but observation leads us to

this conclusion. I freely use the word God, Universe, or

Essence to describe this zero point field of potentiality.

If you prefer to subscribe to a particular religious

paradigm please do so. If you profess the belief in no God,

that is your choice. If this is the case, just think of energy

and the formation thereof. Think of the Big Bang theory.

Go read about it if you have to, and see if you can‘t wrap

your mind around what I‘m talking about. Based on your

own experiences, study, and feelings you have created a

paradigm/world view which helps your mind make sense

out of the experience of living. All of humanity once held

the paradigm that made it factual that the world was flat.

It took one man who faced certain death to change that

―fact‖ into what you know today.



62

Let‘s not get lost again in the details. You have the

choice to enhance your own understanding of your

religious paradigm or lack thereof, or to take a defensiveposture and miss the point of all this. Either choice is

acceptable to me. The belief in God or the belief in Chaos,

I can see the validity to either argument. Now from

whichever description you wish to compare the thought

to, contemplate the concept fully that an essence from

which all things manifest, a place where all things are

created and continue to exist, is at the core of your being.

LET THE TRUTH SET YOU FREE

The area of consciousness that controls the

automatic functioning of the brain also senses the

frequency energy of the present. The dynamic system ofthe human awareness field of consciousness functions as a

filter to recognize the different frequencies and vibrations

of energy. The mind conceptualizes, separates and

categorizes all of the frequencies in its field of awareness

with intent and purpose.

Call it the unconscious mind. Call it the sixth

sense, if you will. Call it the soul. Call it God. I don‘t care

what you call it. Just understand that before the moment

the sensory data is conceptualized, the unconscious mind

is aware of the situation. A chicken and the egg

conundrum exist in that statement. Did the unconscious

frequency create the observation or did the observation

create the unconscious frequency? Really, who cares? Try

not to get lost!



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FIND ‘I AM’

We have all lost sight of the truth of the ―I am‖essence of our origin. Without knowing the truth of the ―I

am‖ essence that flows through you, you will spend a

lifetime chasing rainbows and butterflies. You will

continue swimming in the shallow depths of prestige,

power, lust, and possession. You will experience suffering

to some degree or another.

We have to begin to stop our minds from getting

caught up in the semantic ramblings of who we are as

individuals. We each must remove the veil of delusion

that has us concerned more with getting, obtaining, and

conquering, in an attempt to fulfill and complete

ourselves. The struggle and strife we observe today are of

our own making. We observe in the present moment the

collective semantics of moments passed - a matrix of self-

delusion.

Life is much easier than we‘ve made it out to be.

Many combinations of words speak of the same truth. It

serves no one to compare, contrast, and protect any singleparadigm of belief from others. Your faith is your faith,

converting anyone to it is impossible without you first

being completely congruent with the message. You cannot

tell me of your prophet and the majesty of worshiping in

your manner if your actions are not aligned.

The words you use and the actions you take areabsolutely meaningless. It is the vibration of your being

that truly makes a difference. All day long you can



64

witness to me about the message of God, but if your heart

is impure and your faith is wavering, your message is lost.

If you believe the semantics written in the books of

your religion to be true, then live them fully and let all

witness the glory of its truth. You can‘t hold

condemnation and compassion in your heart at the same

time. They are not congruent. Your words will fall on

deaf ears, and your actions are just empty and for show.

I can talk about the concept of unconditional love

and acceptance all day long, but when I get triggered into

insecurity, and act like a jackass towards another human

being, I am dishonoring the truth of being. I am not being

congruent. I can‘t help anyone heal if I have not myself

healed. If you hold in yourself a belief of truth, or

subscribe to a religious faith, please do your best to stop

the argument of semantics. It serves no one.

Find common ground in the different philosophies

of faith and use that common ground to expand the

awareness of self. Move past any paradigm held within,

and find the true essence of self. Find your own ―I am‖.

MOUNTAINS OF SEMANTICS

Take a moment now to place an image into your

mind of a large mountain. At the very peak of that

mountain is a vantage point to all of creation. From that

vantage point you‘ll notice many different paths that lead

to the peak.



65

Each path is equally direct, and each path has its

own detours and walls to climb. Sometimes the paths

cross over one another. Eventually each path reaches thesummit and clarity is offered. On some paths physical

death must occur for clarity to be known, other paths make

the summit available in a single lifetime.

We will all get to the summit eventually, because

we all came from that summit. The climber that is limited

by perspective is the one still making the ascent. The

climbers at summit are in such awe of the perspective

offered that they care nothing about the paths meandering

below. They only offer encouraging and empowering

shouts from the top in all directions to all paths. As their

shouts ring into the ears of those willing to listen, the

message is taken, filtered through the individual paradigm

as an exclusive message, and the lunacy of self-delusion

continues to stunt the ascending beings.

How much easier it would be if climbers on their

respective paths yelled out encouragement towards one

another? How much more enjoyable would the assent be

if climbers cheered the entire way up, not just for thosewho share the trail, but also for all whom climb the

mountain?

The scientific or religious paradigm that helps you

understand the nature and origin of the universe and your

place in it is beckoning you to the path of personal

freedom. You are meant to create a more aligned reality.Go beyond the concept of science or religion to the concept

of the individual self and step into the empty void of



66

possibilities where separation is blurred and togetherness

is evident.

Ascend the mountain of consciousness to the

summit and stare into the vastness of the void: the core of

all things manifest. Detach from the concepts of science or

religion for a moment and just be still.

Now, return the mind with that stillness to examine

the individual or global paradigm on which consciousness

balances. Allow yourself to align your personal paradigm

properly. We each hold delusions that have been passed

through the generational time gap from the dawn of the

history of man to the current point of observation.

One of Buddha‘s most powerful teachings

contained no words. It is written that he stood in front of

thousands of monks holding a lotus petal without

speaking a word. Hours went by with no words until the

Buddha recognized the look of understanding and

enlightenment overcome one monk‘s face.

At that point the Buddha rose and announced thelesson was finished, bowed and left. The idea in this story

is that the wisdom of the stillness found in the lotus petals

is ultimate freedom. By cultivating stillness within, one

sheds the attachment to manifest form and clears and

purges any dysfunctional paradigms. It is then that

freedom is experienced and expressed.

Compare these messages to that of any of the

teachings of Christ, and differences are miniscule. For



67

example, the Sermon on the Mount verbalizes in a similar

fashion the idea of stillness of being, and the faith of a

mustard seed.

The teaching of Tao Te Ching attributed to Lao Tzu

expresses this concept throughout its teaching by

suggesting that each act taken be the only act of the mind.

The Vedas describe the paths to freedom and arrive

at a similar conclusion. They all subscribe to the idea that

both right and wrong are conceptualized by human

beings. Therefore, I surmise that manifestation just is.

If you cultivate detachment from self-identity, the

truth of being will become known; the result is freedom.

These stories are great, and the teachings are valid, but

they were transcribed by travelers who were still on the

path, as too are both you and I. The words were given to

people who still operate with a paradigm that is attached

to manifest reality. It only stands to reason that something

may have been lost in translation.

We have at work the human factor in all of this.Though the words of those books may be from a Divine

source, man wrote them all down; often times after

generations of oral teachings. It doesn‘t really make sense

to believe that some form of literary licensing didn‘t take

place in this process. More to the point, words are

insufficient in explaining ultimate truth of reality or the

nature of God.



68



69

Chapter 7

THE GOOD AND THE BAD OF

IT

Good and bad are nothing more than the concepts

of our shallow minds. The nature of form is positive and

negative charge in equal proportion. Duality, yin and

yang, heaven and hell, whatever…don‘t get so distracted.

Defining manifest reality is the very thing that perpetuates

the cycle of suffering that I have experienced and you are

currently experiencing.

All things manifest are at their nature impermanent

and all feelings derived thereof share that quality. In this

dance of opposites, healing the negative will unveil the

positive thus allowing for the cultivation and appreciation

thereof. Furthermore, concerning oneself with only the

positive by ignoring the negative will inevitably lead to

suffering as the façade cannot be kept forever. Nothing in

manifest form would exist without an opposite charge of

equal proportion. Affirming all day long the positive

without honoring the presence of any so called negative

within is an act of denial, rejection, and finally hostility.

The idea of good and bad is conceptual, subjective,

and only real to the mind and the experience of humanconsciousness. From the physical nature of the basic

atomic structure on the periodic chart of elements, to the



70

complexities of human interaction, two sides to the

proverbial coin exist. It is completely pointless for you or

me to focus on the conceptualization of good or bad. Themind lacks the complete picture for that determination to

be made.

More than meets the senses happens in each

moment. Individuals are incapable of grasping the full

scope of reality enough to distinguish good or bad. Things

just are. Remove the concept of good and bad from the

mind. Free the mind of the laborious task of righting the

world and you will learn the true majesty (essence?) of

being.

THE SOURCE IS THE SOURCE OF COURSE OF

COURSE

If you hold the idea that the hand of God is present

in everything, then stop bitching and start enjoying! You

must understand that what you observe with feeling will

be represented in the future for you to observe. Your

reality is not based on the actual conditions of current

reality; it is based on your reaction to those conditions. It‘s

all in your head.

When you deny anything, it is a denial of the glory

of God. Anything in manifest form, the form we can

experience, that is denied by the mind, is a denial of the

source essence from which it came. Denial in itself is

actually a delusion. All of the thoughts you direct towards

any energy allows for the perpetuation of that energy. The



71

essence from which all things manifest is bigger than, and

more powerful, than you or I can conceive. The denial of

any portion of that essence leads to the oddities of life westruggle against daily.

If the source essence (God) expresses itself through

all things manifest, including the localized field of human

consciousness (you), then it stands to reason that all forms

of denial are nothing more than a denial of the self as well

as a denial of the source from which it came. The guy you

wish you could just punch in the face is an aspect of the

essence of all being. So punch yourself in the face for

crying out loud and leave that dude alone. Well, ok again,

you can punch his face if you have to.

But please understand the mind‘s denial through

conceptualization is neither the purpose, nor the original

intent, of the field of observational awareness. On the

contrary, the level of consciousness that a person observes

is really meant to experience and honor the essence of

being as it flows through all things. As is its original

intent, so follows the process of manifestation.

Your observations and thoughts are an act of

honor, even if you are denying something. The honor of

observation or contemplation sends the message to the

source of all essence what the observer wishes to

experience. No distinction is made between observations

and contemplations. It doesn‘t matter if you experience it

or imagine it. The mind‘s thought energy translates thesame. So, as you see, it is imperative to direct the mind



72

carefully and intentionally through each moment, with

each breath.

Think back to all the thoughts you remember

having today. What did you think about most? All of

those ideas are now trying to manifest for you. You are so

cherished that every thought of your being manifests for

your future enjoyment. Choose wisely.

THE DAMNEDEST THINGS

I readily admit that my observations of the material

world convince me of the damnedest things. My

observations and misperceptions have created some very

negative experiences in my life. I will even more readily

point out that your observations about life do as well.

Humanity as a whole is caught in a self-

perpetuating cycle of suffering. Something in us distracts

us as our observations are being processed and

conceptualized. As we contemplate the moment in time

just witnessed, the present moment slips from our

awareness. It has been my experience that most of the

messages and opportunities of the present moment usually

pass unnoticed. We are each too busy in contemplation.

The tricky part about life is the fact that our

contemplations create our reality. If we all spent less time

contemplating and more time enjoying those little kinks

and defects we experience, those kinks would begin to

correct themselves on their own. I don‘t mean to bury



73

your head in the sand, but at some point we must look

past the material world.

We each have a paradigm, a set of deeply held

concepts, believed to be true, which creates the perspective

from which life is observed. Statements like, ―life is hard

out there,‖ or ―the economy is tough all over the world,‖

come from and help form the collective paradigm. We each

have these ―statements of fact‖ accessible in the recesses of

our minds and the reality of reality is very subjective as a

result. It is all held together by a collective agreement.

In the history of man the world was flat, man

couldn‘t fly, and communication only happened face to

face. It was from the unfailing belief in a different reality,

from a few select individuals, that altered reality as we

know it. Had any of the great men and women of history

bought into the current paradigm of their respective times,

life would be drastically different today.

Henry Ford was told for years, by his engineers,

that his engine could not be built the way he envisioned it.

Edison failed thousands of times to make a workable lightbulb. Galileo faced death because of his discoveries. The

idea of bending metal and transporting hundreds of

people across thousands of miles through the air in just a

few hours at one point was absolutely ludicrous. Yet, here

I am, able to book a ticket to visit faraway lands on a

moment‘s notice. I can contact most people I know

anywhere in the world instantly.



74

Growing up, I learned from a wild haired maniac

that everything is energy and light. Yes, mass is but an

illusion, and still, so very few of us have any cluewhatsoever as to just how miraculous life really is.

We all have worries and pressing concerns that

occupy our time and energy while life just passes us by.

My mind seems to be easily distracted by the appearance

of reality. I find it very easy to take the suggestion of

limited resources and finite energy from major media,

movies, and conversations throughout my day as fact.

Looking back, I know that I started out in life

believing in instability, disharmony, limitations, and

insecurity. My life has always been a reflection of those

beliefs. During each phase of my now 34 years, I have

regularly felt a lack of worth, a lack of hope, and alone in

this world. I have observed and discovered that we all

have an individual paradigm that basically robs of us the

majestic experience of being, sad but true. I have come to

the realization that my own beliefs hinder the truth of the

essence of my being from flowing freely into this world.

You and I are much more than we give ourselves

credit for, and we are much more capable of experiencing

happiness than we allow ourselves. We stand in our own

way and choose suffering over bliss. We observe effect

and ignore the cause. We contemplate the meaning of me,

instead of the meaning of us. For the most part, the type of

happiness I have experienced during my life has beendependent on outside conditions.



75

I chased proverbial dragons much of my life. I

have a list of ―things‖ I want to buy, places I want to see,

and awards I want to receive. At one point in time Ithought any one of, or maybe all of those things would

make me happy. I discovered the hard way that this type

of happiness is not my goal. I beat my head against that

wall for many years. Ok, I still sometimes beat my head

against that wall. What can I say? The only way I am able

to walk on water is with a surfboard beneath my feet.

I have, however, discovered that my true aim is to

cultivate a detached state of calm, peace, and blissful being

while striving for the financial conditions that allow me to

own and drive an Aston Martin DB9. Is that too much to

ask? I don‘t think so.

Some form of rejection takes place when I reduce

the universe of energy and matter into a concept in my

mind. I watch my mind throughout the day as it gets lost

conceptualizing the world around me. I find it nearly

impossible to realize that manifest form, the world I

experience (maybe perceive), is in a continual state of flux.

The concept that the solidity of matter is a trick of

sensory data as interpreted by my mind escapes my

realization most moments of my day. I often forget, or

maybe ignore, the futility of trying to define reality and the

origin nature of being. Good thing that I do or you

wouldn‘t really be reading these words at this moment,

would you?



76

I have tried my best to wrap my noodle around the

impermanence of material form, but the experience of my

life through each day distracts me from that realization. Imean, this all seems solid to me. It all feels pretty real. I

slipped on some moss at the beach the other day. That

rock seemed solid enough to my arm as I scrapped across

it on my way into the ocean. The memory of the barnacles

that were introduced to my elbow came forth as I slipped

my shirt on today.

So, telling my mind that none of it is real just seems

stupid some days. On such days, I must sit silently and

remind myself that my consciousness observes all things

according to its own paradigm, and reality may not be

exactly as I interpret it.

I believe that my soul is energy. As I distract

myself with the perils of material survival, the energy of

my being becomes dull and dense. The truth of

manifestation is often rejected by my mind. Like I said

earlier, I get caught up in the tiny details that make reality

dense. Essentially, my life is reduced to a semantic

argument, a search for meaning through words, phrasessigns and symbols all from my very limited perspective.

Too often, I allow my mind to become distracted by

stuff like bills and credit scores. When my attention is not

focused, and my energy is not centered, everything in my

awareness field, from the cells of my body, to the numbers

in my bank account, manifest differently. I am able torealize this because I have been very vigilant in observing

myself, even though I often fail to be vigilant in my actual



77

practice of being. In this I have learned my need to take

control of the semantic arguments that occupy the

forefront of my mind.

It is those semantic arguments that trigger my

emotional state of being, and from my emotional state of

being comes the perpetuation of manifest reality - a reality

that I have co-created. When my energy gets trapped in a

semantic discussion of ―should have been‖ or ―should

have said‖, an imbalance manifests. Immediately, this

happens in my emotional state of being, and later in my

experience with the world around me.

On the way to work, I might remember a

conversation with a friend of mine that triggered a sense of

hurt in me. I will then play out different scenarios and

conversations where he and I joust with words. I play out

things I should have said, and will say next time to a T.

While doing so, I create energy; emotions well up inside of

me. If I keep with the role playing I am creating my

future. The energy that moment creates is an indicator to

whatever it is that creates our experience that those

emotions are our preferred state of being. We are usingour power all wrong here. Emotions are valuable and

useful for us.

Emotions are our internal guidance system, yet no

one taught us how to use them. We allow our minds to

change our emotional state of being, which in turn co-

creates what we observe in the future. Each of us isdeluded by a concept of individuality. We spend all of our

waking hours noticing the differences in our being by



78

comparing our concept of self to all other things manifest.

Each of us holds some idea of who we are and how life

should be. We expend great mental, physical, andemotional energy to make the ―should‖ come to be. As

long as everything is close to the way we want it to be, we

stay relatively happy. But, our happiness is still at this

point relative: A+B = happy for too many of us. That

seems to be the equation of happiness for humanity.

My mind finds it difficult to accept the things that I

experience and observe daily. The actions of people

around me, the things I see on the news, and some of the

current conditions of my life are quickly rejected by my

mind. I have worked diligently to accept all that is as it is.

I have struggled with doing so all too often. I recently

realized that my rejection of whatever is present in my

awareness field is actually a condemnation of the essence

of all being (God, Source, Tao).

It doesn‘t match up for me to believe in a source of

creation, and a binding force common in all manifest

forms, and at the same time profess that something is

wrong. The two concepts are seemingly incongruent. Yes,I agree that many things that we have helped create miss

the point. Many things in this world are strange to me.

But, the simple reality is, I am witnessing the effect of a

collection of causes, and ignoring the cause of all cause.

For some reason I have formed this habit as an

attempt to make sense of me, make sense of you, and makesense of this world. Somehow, my rejection of you has

made me feel better, but, never for too long.



79

Chapter 8

OUR THOUGHTS CREATE THE

FUTURE

The imagination of our minds is powerful. What

we imagine becomes our reality. As I imagined being

broke due to my schedule at work, it was so. I could have

spent the equivalent of a full day a month imagining my

perfect life and planning the steps to achieve it. Yet, I

chose to worry about why I had been getting the worst

shifts at work.

By imagining negative scenarios, my energy is not

centered or vibrating in the correct pattern that will attract

new and exciting opportunities. When I imagined being

broke, I was conceptualizing lack, and therefore

harmonizing my state of being with it. By conceptualizing

lack, I have, in essence, honored the lack of money and

placed the request for that experience to happen in the

future.

I ask and I have received. All is right in the world.

God is good.

I‘ve found that at any level of material success, in

any location in the world, I bring one thing and one thingonly: myself. I have discovered that I am not my body, not

my history, not my social affiliations, or my world-views.



80

I am a human apparently attempting to learn the art of

being. Consciousness is localized in my body. I have

recently gained the experience of bliss, love, and freedomunmatched in material form. I observe now perfection

unfolding in all that I see.

Call it what you will, I call it the Divine Spark.

Once I became aware of the Divine Spark of all things

manifest, I found it impossible to reject anything in my

awareness field; and that‘s where true freedom begins.

This is where the power of the present moment of now is

felt, and known. This is the truth that will set you free.

But, this is a big challenge to remember day in and day

out. It is all too easy for me to ignore the awareness of the

Divine Spark ever present and create a state of discontent.

MUSTARD

My experience of life is all about me, and your

experience of life is all about you. All things that manifest

into your awareness field can represent an aspect of your

being, and you manifest that with which you vibrate the

most. Material form is finite. Energy clusters too are finite

and ever changing, yet there is an essence that is expressed

consistently throughout eternity in a constant state of

expansion and contraction.

You are that. You are the image of God. You are

the holy trinity. You are the emptiness from which all

things manifest. You are nothing. You are everything. It‘s

all about you. The core of your being is the pulse and a



81

rhythm of essence expressing itself through all atoms of

the world of material form.

With a quiet enough conscious mind and a clear

enough unconscious paradigm you will find the essence of

being: empty stillness. From the empty stillness of being

all things manifest into your life according to thought and

through action. The teachings of Christ tell us that a man

who cultivates the faith of a mustard seed can say to a

mountain, ―Move into the sea,‖ and the mountain will

have no choice. Let‘s look at that statement for a minute.

A mustard seed does not worry that one day it will

not grow to its fullest potential. At no point in its journey

does it say, ―You know what, maybe I should be an apple

tree.‖

A mustard seed does not sit in the soil complaining

how muddy it is and how there are no sunny days. As it

reaches the surface is doesn‘t stop growing because it sees

human beings walk by and ignore it as they walk over

smell a rose.

No, it does none of that. The mustard seed basks in

the light of being. It allows the combination of the

elements of the earth‘s atmosphere, the soil, even our

acidic rain to fuel its natural growth. As it basks in the

light, its complete essence is realized.

Towards the end of the season, the now mustardplant doesn‘t look back and say, ―I should have done that

differently,‖ nor does it cling onto the vestiges of manifest



82

form trying to escape its descent into the abyss as winter

approaches.

The roots don‘t complain as they lie dormant,

frozen in the ground for months. When the new season

comes, and the natural rhythm of growth pulses, the

universe hears no complaints. What was once a seed

restarts its journey with no mind of being different, with

no mind of the past, and no thought of the future.

All of creation exists selflessly and in a state of

stillness in the same manner as the mustard seed; all

except human beings. We‘ve lost sight of the art of being,

by conceptualizing the self.

Even our most selfless acts are selfish. Helping

people in need triggers a good feeling in me. I know more

than one person who is continually of service because they

love the attention they receive when they talk about it.

None of my altruistic acquaintances realize the

implications of their actions. They feel good building

homes, volunteering, and thinking they are making a

difference. I feel good writing this book, and coachingpeople on spirituality. So I guess I‘m a little selfish too.

I believe that in order to learn to be completely

selfless, we each must follow our motivations more clearly.

When we go out into the world to save it, who are we

really saving? When we help, are we doing it to be of

service or do we want to make mommy and daddy proud?Or better yet, do we want to make them frustrated? Is

your motivation coming from your sense of self, or is it the



83

will of the essence of your being that rose from stillness?

I‘ll answer this one for you. It‘s a little of both. HERE.

BELIEF OR FAITH??

Let‘s say I get into a relationship with another

amazing woman. Entering the new relationship, what I

realize is, while I have cleared all of my self-worth and

esteem issues I have not yet cleared my paradigm of thebelief that women stray in relationships. As the new

relationship unfolds, I believe the essence of love that I

share with her will uproot the idea in the paradigm that

does not match – unfaithfulness. When it comes up as a

thought in my mind, I must address it and clear my mind

of that thought at once.

If I spend time thinking about all the proof that

women are unfaithful to even to the most loving men, then

I will unconsciously create the conditions in our

relationship that support the actions I fear most. I do this

by being controlling or needy, not listening to her enough,

and/or ignoring her needs. In my fear that she‘ll be

passionate with another man, I will alienate her just

enough that it actually happens. I might get overly

focused and busy with some project and make little time to

foster our relationship, but that too stems from an

unconscious manifestation of the concept in my paradigm

I forgot to clear (the one that says women stray in

relationships).



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It is not her; it is me who creates the situations in

my life. Had I cleared the paradigm of unfaithfulness

before we met, our meeting may have never sparked therelationship in the first place. Yeah, it‘s that tricky.

So, as you can see, it is best to clear the mind of any

preconceived misconceptions, as those misconceptions will

be one day experienced and observed. If we don‘t begin to

recognize the mirroring effect of the unconscious mind, we

will continue to perceive that the current situations in our

lives happen solely outside of ourselves. When we do so,

the meaning we give to current events will be sent back

into the unconscious paradigm and thus reinforced.

All my life I have waited for the other shoe to drop,

and it always has. The reason: all of my life I have held the

paradigm that I am meaningless, worthless, and won‘t

ever amount to anything. So, here I sit, just back from

Brazil, renting a trailer in Buffalo, Ohio, a town of 600

people in the foothills of the Appalachian Mountains. I am

asset poor, I am in debt to companies and family, and

spend much of my time alone.

The only way out of any of this is to change the

energy that flows through me. I know from experience

that an essence of peace, tranquility, and love flows freely

through me. I also know from self-reflection that the

essence of my being harmonizes with the paradigm of my

unconscious mind, which has been inharmonious. I see

that everything I experience is in accord to the unconsciousbeliefs I hold about life being unsafe, dangerous, and

overall, pretty pointless. I have failed to connect on a level



85

of friendship to maintain relationships. I have failed to

succeed in creating a secure financial structure. I have

failed to follow my bliss. I have succeeded in manifestingthat which I held as true. I have achieved exactly the level

of success I believed I deserved and was capable of. I am

what I‘ve said I would be. But, now I know how to change

it all. My paradigm is now clear of those ―things‖ and I

know the truth of the essence of my being. It is only a

matter of time that outside conditions manifest in kind.

HOW I CREATED MISERY

Let‘s use a real life example of what I am talking

about. Since, It’s All About Me, I will use my life as an

example of how stuff goes wrong.

For the better part of 3 years I worked in a

restaurant in Venice, California. The management position

had about a six-month shelf-life. This is not too

uncommon in our business; but it does say something

about the company structure. Just before the arrival of the

new manager, I started a relationship with a co-worker,

(not smart I know), but she is an amazingly seductive

woman and I went against my better judgment.

I knew the first time she came over to my

apartment that I should not get involved. When I cuddled

with her while watching a movie I could tell she was not

the girl for me, but I liked her attention. It felt good to feel

wanted by someone who was wanted by every guy I

knew. So I started hanging out with her.



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A few months into the relationship our restaurant

hired a new general manager. He acted as if he had amission in life to change the world as it pertained to this

little restaurant. He brought in a gang-load of new people,

mostly life-long friends of his. At the same time he became

a little combative and condescending with the staff he

inherited. I sat back and noticed some odd things about

him and did a little digging.

The guy was not really on the up and up. He

lacked integrity, and I felt he was capable of robbing the

place blind without losing much sleep. I found out later

that my instincts were correct. He lined his pockets before

he sent the numbers to the corporate offices. He stole cases

of booze, and his friends all ate for free.

Now, I have never really been one to be able to

hide what I feel about a person. I am a heart-on-my-sleeve

kind of guy. This guy immediately started to pick up on

my contempt for him. His own insecurities came out

when he was around me, and I was often too quick to

point them out to him. Naturally, he began to assert hisdominance in our social contract of General Manager and

Bartender. The first thing he did was schedule his friends

to work shifts that were promised to me during Cinco de

Mayo in a Mexican themed bar in Los Angeles.

To this, I didn‘t react that well. I confronted him. I

told him outright that I had witnessed him lying severaltimes and didn‘t like being railroaded. He sat there on a

case of liquor and denied it all without ever looking me in



87

the eyes. I knew he was running a hustle, but he had the

ear of the absentee owner. He proceeded to paint a

horrible picture of me, and I made it very easy for him todo so.

Like I said, I tend to wear my heart on my sleeve.

Each day, the moment I showed up to work, my state of

being immediately took on an angry, aggressive tone. I

began to be hostile while working, which isn‘t always the

best trait of a bartender. Things got a little ugly, and

feelings got a little hurt. Yet today, I thank God for that

situation. It is what sent me to the waterside for a week of

contemplation, and finally to the point of following a

lifelong dream of writing a book.

I have taken full responsibility for situations that

have occurred in my life. I harmonized myself to become a

victim of circumstance, and experience lack, frustration

and acted from a place of hostility.

Let‘s go back in the timeframe of that point in the

history of Tim McAuley a bit. As my relationship with the

server continued in secret, things started to change a littlefor me at work. I couldn‘t tell some guys to back off. Every

shift we had together my focus was on her, and which guy

was asking for her phone number. I couldn‘t reveal the

fact she and I were together. It nearly drove me crazy

some days.

Co-workers would talk about her in ways that

enraged me, and hit on her while we worked. I wouldhear about what she was like when I wasn‘t working; and

the stories made me nervous about her level of



88

commitment to monogamy. All of this added up and

begin triggering insecurity in me. Insecurity in romantic

relationships is common in my history, but for this womanit seemed as if it was her mission. She continually

communicated to me the parts of me she found less than

acceptable. She made little comments about me being too

skinny. She seemed to like to point out male bodies that

didn‘t match mine and how sexy she thought they were –

a trigger of insecurity in me.

As the relationship progressed my state of being

became more insecure. Enter now the aforementioned

new manager and you can see how I created a less than

ideal situation for myself. Two months into that

relationship we lost a baby, two close friends of mine died,

and my father had a heart attack during my visit home. It

is easy to imagine my state of my being during this time of

my life.

I felt the world had closed in on me. I felt

abandoned, scared, and lost. In two short months, I went

from feeling like I could own the world to wanting to chew

on the barrel of a gun. I found it difficult to pay rent as Ikept loosing shifts for really questionable reasons. I tried

to talk to the owner about my situation at work, but it all

fell on deaf ears.

On the surface, it was easy for the owner to take the

side of the manager. The picture he painted of me was one

of a less than desirable employee, and on a few occasionshe was right.



89

At one point, I begged my girlfriend to stop

invalidating me. Funny right? I wanted her to validate me

when I couldn‘t myself. I really couldn‘t find a way out of

it all, so I just walked away.

When I walked away, I decided I was no longer

fighting life. If other people are in some silly competition

with me, they win. I‘m out. So, I just sat on the wall next

to boardwalk in Venice, California staring into the vastness

of the Pacific Ocean and contemplated my life all to

discover I did all of this to myself.

I discovered that my observation and experience

relates back to my unconscious paradigm, and the

unconscious brings me into situations that match my

observations. The law of attraction, I found works with or

without me creating a dream board. I found that I

harmonize my being with thoughts of inadequacy and find

myself in situations that trigger me to feel inadequate. So,

say this next statement to yourself: ―It’s All About Me”.

This is true for me, and it is true for you.

I then took a job in a Latin themed nightclub in theheart of Downtown Los Angeles, California. It started out

well enough. In one month at my new job, I went from

stocking beer to being in the bartending rotation. Then a

new manager came in, and patterns began to emerge. He

started to throw his power around, and I began to worry

about making money. The worry vibrated a sense of lack

in my being. In return, I experienced the lack of money,and my schedule at the nightclub reinforced my sense of

lack week by week.



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During that time I had effectively reduced the

abundance of the universe from infinite potential into one

central source. From that perspective the nightclub thatemployed me became the source of money. Since money is

my source of financial wellbeing and security, my mind

made this job the source of my security.

Infinite ways exist for me to collect numbers in

bank accounts and pieces of currency into my possession.

I shut my senses down to any of these possibilities each

time I worry about my schedule or focus on lacking the

current funds to pay my bills. When I observe lack in my

life I create lack in my future. Each thought in my mind

possesses the power of creation.

I have come to realize that my financial lack

stemmed mainly from a feeling of being undervalued. I

projected my lack of self-esteem onto the individual in

charge of scheduling at one location on the planet. The

manager at that nightclub, just like the manager at my

previous job, was all too willing to schedule me in a

manner to reinforce my lack of security. I have since

discovered that I was unable to sense possibilitiespresenting themselves to my then present moment as my

mind was worried about finding the money to pay my

bills. I dissipated my energy and closed myself off to any

other opportunities that could have possibly offered value

to my bank account and I helped perpetuate temporary

situations with my continual focus on the tiny details that

made up the story my mind was telling me.



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Time after time I find myself in the same

relationship over and over with different faces and names.

My boss at the new club dramatically affected myschedule, which triggered emotions that mirrored my

previous job experience. I began changing my focus, and it

became evident that it was not the outside conditions, but

my inner being that was creating this chain of events.

Well, I did kind of provoke this guy a little.

I‘m not a fan of authority figures flexing up on me

just for the fact of position. So when a guy continually

asserts his dominance towards me, I smile with a cockiness

that says you are a meaningless little turd in this toilet

bowl. Then the following week I wonder why it is I am

getting shafted on shifts. My invalidation of his (my

manager‘s) Divine nature was reflected fully in his

invalidation of me as an employee.



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A n o t h e r S p e c i a l N o t e

F r o m T i m M c A u l e yr e g a r d i n g t h e c o n t e n t o ft h i s d o c u m e n t : I hope you’re enjoyingmy book. Do you think your friends would like tocheck it out? Send them a message by clicking eitheror both of the links below.

If you haven’t already connected with me in someway via

facebook or twitter please do so. I would love to hear any

feedback of this sample. If you’ve purchased the actual book, I

would love to connect with you. Maybe I can come out to

where you are and sign your copy.

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Chapter 9

DISCOVERING THAT MY REAL

GURU IS A DOUCHE

At that point I realized I will never escape this

pattern of reality and overcome my financial karma of

being broke until I take steps to clear the paradigm that

has created these conditions. Since I can only take steps in

the present, the ―tool‖ who managed the nightclub in Los

Angeles that employed me became my guru. I have for a

while found it necessary to discover the qualities I dislike

about others, and then take time to find those qualities in

myself and embrace them.

Across the street from the Staples Center I

discovered my inner fat kid needs some love. I saw that I

must embrace and heal my inner douche bag in order for

the essence of my being to fully be free. It was, and is, my

goal to experience and express unconditional love. But, if I

only direct my love at those things I enjoy, my love is not

unconditional.

In doing the inner work to find commonality

between a bar manager and myself in Los Angeles, I began

to find a sense of freedom. The energy between him and

me changed. I stopped rejecting him. I began to accepthim as he was and not how I wanted him to be. I looked at

him as if he were a potential Buddha and tried daily to see



94

the spark of Christ radiate in his heart. Doing so made it

much harder to call him a douche.

Not one word was exchanged, and my schedule

began to shift. I found myself making pretty decent

money, on pretty good shifts, and actually having a really

great time at work with him.

MY PARADIGM OF MONEY

I mention each scenario separately, but the

separation does not exist. What am I describing is all

about worth issues, insecurities, and an inferiority

complex. I can relate each relationship and each condition

of my current reality to my personal belief structure, my

paradigm. All of my observations and experience in thepresent moment mirror the paradigm through which my

essence (soul) has expressed itself.

My consciousness reacts from a triggered state

according to its paradigm. It brings up automatic

responses from the unconscious. Many times, that

response is associative in its nature. It carries with it the

power of the memory of similar events. The unconscious

mind takes over, and like a puppet, the conscious mind

follows its lead. I learned from my relationship with a bar

manager of a nightclub in downtown Los Angeles that

freedom comes from clearing the paradigm.

Take for instance my paradigm as it pertains to

money. I grew up in the foothills of the Appalachian



95

Mountains in South Eastern Ohio. My dad was a steel

worker all of my life and a proud member of the AFL-CIO.

The union put a roof over my head, and food on my table.My mom, for most of my childhood, worked in a dry-

cleaner. Most days she would be the only person in the

place, doing 3 jobs at once, and rarely ever saw an increase

in wages.

For the area I lived in, two incomes and the union

wages my dad brought in, the family income was more

than enough to live a very nice lifestyle. But, we still lived

paycheck to paycheck. The money just never seemed to

accumulate. Subsequently, talks about money were never

a good day in that house.

From the combination of the paradigms of my two

parents, I have one of the best work ethics of anyone I

know. I learned from my dad to show up and give all that

I have to what I do. I learned from my mom to do what

you need to do to get by.

My dad once said to me after I quit my first job,

―You agreed to the wage, you do the work. Don‘t work forthe money, and if you don‘t like the wage, find a new job.‖

I am very happy with the sense of honor I have as part of

my money paradigm. It is a good trait to be able to show

up and suit up. Unfortunately, I also formed in my

paradigm the idea of a week-to-week lifestyle. I bring in

money, I spend money. The more I earn, the more I spend.

I learned very little about investing or cash flow from myparents. I learned a lot about trading hours for wages and

hoping to get insurance coverage.



96

In the past 10 years I have been lucky enough to

have some really amazing jobs tending bar up and down

the California Coast. But, no matter the amount of cash Ibrought in, I never really seemed to accumulate a savings

or any form of investment. Money came, I spent it.

When I drank, it went to booze. When I got sober,

well, I‘m not really sure where it went. I just didn‘t seem

to keep hold of it. I worked two years at the most lucrative

job I‘ve known and had very little to show for it.

My paradigm on money did not contain the word

asset in it. I did get a nice SUV, but the loan rate was

ridiculous. My money paradigm did not contain a healthy

credit score. My money paradigm matched my self-

esteem, and apparently my self-esteem was in the red.

In clearing my paradigm of money I have

discovered some very interesting things about myself and

about money itself. I have learned to see past that

delusion as well. Life is good. Life is abundant. Money is

just another aspect of life that ebbs and flows.

MONEY DOES NOT EQUAL WORTH

I know many men and women who have all the

money they will ever need and little to no self-esteem. The

difference is, they hold a paradigm that makes money

work for them, though their lack of self-esteem follows the

same pattern as mine has. Spend money to buy things that

make me feel worthy. Spend money on other people so



97

they will like me. Spend money. Spend money. Spend

money.

I have seen a few very wealthy men in Los Angeles

who appear to do nothing more than overcompensate for a

paradigm of worthlessness. The cars they buy, the bars

they own, and the way they speak to people all are

indications of the insecurity of their being. Everything in

their lives from their business to their wife is a trophy for

them to prove to the world they are good enough.

The only difference between some people with

wealth and the people begging for change is the paradigm

for obtaining and controlling assets. The guy living next to

the pier didn‘t learn the game or just quit playing it all

together. The guy who owns two restaurants and several

million dollars of assets just has better focus on getting

money and buying things that make him feel better about

himself. That‘s it.

Worth does not equate money. Don‘t get it in your

head that holding a vibration of self-worth will bring

millions of dollars into your bank account. It most likelywon‘t. But if you hold in your mind a picture of a reality

that is outside the one you currently experience, and take

action steps towards the realization of your desire you will

experience that which you desire.

If you think anything you can obtain or experience

outside of yourself will provide you with lasting feeling ofcomfort, safety or security, you‘re going to be chasing your

own tail for quite some time. The material results are



98

based on your actions. They are not the happiness that

you desire. They just help trigger it from time to time. We

are better suited to find happiness first and then take stepstowards material success.



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Chapter 10

FORMING THE PARADIGM

From the day of birth to around the age of six,

consciousness is slowly awakening in a human body. The

wave functions in the brain are at a level sensitive to newconcepts and learning. Our brains are like little sponges

for information at that point in life. Consciousness learns

its body‘s functions and autonomy, and it learns to

communicate to the bigger people it sees.

The mind begins to understand certain limitations

of being in material form. Along with the fact that thebody can‘t fly, or walk through walls, the forming

consciousness picks up on the verbal instructions of the

other people in the field of awareness. The idea of its

separate identity begins to form, and consciousness starts

to realize its unique expression. Information that helps

form the paradigm of each localized consciousness is both

direct and indirect.

Every bit of information from the energy

surrounding us is somehow picked up and registered in

the unconscious mind. When we first start out in life, we

are ultra-receptive. The energy of a household can

sometimes be different than what is verbalized, and both

concepts will make it to the paradigm forming in theunconscious mind of our children. The unconscious mind



100

is able to pick up on more than what the conscious mind

verbalizes.

Once we are able to start making observations, we

begin to form our inner paradigm defining the ―facts of

life‖. As we become aware of our own autonomy

(individuality), we attempt to make sense of the world.

The bigger people around us do the best they can to guide

us to some conclusions more quickly. Unfortunately those

bigger people are completely delusional and what we each

get is a unique perspective based on the combined

delusions of countless people in our lives.

By about the age of six each of us has usually

formed our own delusional paradigm, which we spend the

rest of our lives changing very little. Basically the deepest

part of your mind is like a six year old. Oh, come on you

know I‘m right. You and your little temper tantrums that

you hide from the world, with that little voice in your head

that runs around screaming all day for attention, and

demanding that everyone tell you how pretty you are.

You know it‘s there. Own it baby! It‘s just part of who we

think we are.

From this early age, when you formed a personal

paradigm that defines reality for you, the conscious and

unconscious parts of your mind began to guide and co-

create your experiences. During the earliest years of your

life, you held certain emotional vibrations due to whatever

circumstances you experienced at the time. Your life fromthat point till now has been a cycle of wash, rinse, and

repeat.



101

You have lived the same two or three year state of

being over and over again for a lifetime. We find

ourselves here again in a chicken and egg question of whatcomes first, unconscious communication to the conscious

mind or vice versa. My take on it is that both are equally

responsible for the unfolding and experience of reality.

Once you have a better grasp on the situation you will be

able to clear from yourself the burden of ―self‖ more

easily.

Here is what I see happening. The unconscious

mind registers the frequency of all that has manifested into

form in the vicinity of consciousness. All things that

manifest have a frequency. The recognition of a particular

frequency or frequencies triggers neurochemical and

biological responses that communicate to the conscious

mind a definition of reality. During this, the conscious

mind is observing that which has manifest and is busy

looking for possible dangers or some hint of recognition.

Images and ideas are triggered through all of this to give

consciousness a reference point to explain the present

moment.

We spin ourselves in circles trying to conceptualize

ourselves into feeling safe, when no real reason exists to

ever feel insecure. The images in your mind that are from

the paradigm of a six year old are only useful if

understood as such. It is easier to clear the concept of self

when you understand how silly the idea is and how small

it makes the essence of you.



102

So, here we find ourselves. Our consciousness

observes manifest reality and starts pontificating about the

reality of the present moment. Mind chatter fills theawareness field with scenarios of possible outcomes and

conversations to rectify a perceived threat to the security,

validity, or power of the conscious being.

You will find it useful to learn to review the

thoughts and conversations of yesterday for a moment.

What do you realize? How often were you in a

state of defensiveness? How about a state of panic? How

often did you feel overwhelmed, hurried, rushed, or

invalidated?

How much of yesterday were you in a state of pure

bliss, ecstasy and unconditional love?

Tell me about yesterday, and I‘ll get really close to

predicting your future.

THOUGHTS ARE MIXED AND SHAKEN OR STIRRED

Each of us is animated by conscious thought and an

unconscious paradigm moment by moment. The essence

of being (soul) flows from the source energy of all things

manifest (God) through the unconscious paradigm and

reconfigures its energy to harmonize. This act of harmony

provides direction to consciousness. Harmony tells our

consciousness where to direct its attention.



103

The thoughts flowing in that stream of

consciousness are bursts of energy from the essence of

being harmonizing with the beliefs of the unconsciousparadigm. At that level, all things just are, it doesn‘t

matter if we conceptualize the belief as good or bad. As

the thoughts reach consciousness and are captured by the

mind, that concept in the paradigm is honored and kept.

Then the process of manifestation begins and at a later

time we experience an event that triggers a state of being

that matches what we have honored with our attention.

The reality your consciousness observes and

experiences moment to moment is a product of this

process. Everything from the tension in your shoulders, to

the hostile work environment, to the experience of deep

love is a product of this process. Somewhere along the line

you held certain beliefs about all of it, and therefore it

came to be. If that which you experience currently is not

aligned with what you had thought previously, all you just

have to do is wait for it.

MIND CHATTER

We each hold a paradigm that suggests to us that

certain outside conditions must exist in order for us to find

peace and tranquility. We frantically scan the present

moment in search of threats to our safety. Part of our

mind is still in search of the lion in the bush.

Think about it. How long can you go without

thinking about something bad that has happened or could



104

possibly happen? How many times do you run scenarios

of conversations in your mind that you‘ll have in the

future or think about things you should‘ve said in the

past?

That‘s what I‘m talking about here. That stuff is

crazy. If half of the chatter that floats in your mind were to

come out of your mouth as you walked down the street,

you‘d be classified as insane.

I used to walk past a few guys every day that

would spout their stream of consciousness for all to hear. I

am surprised when they get odd looks from people. The

only difference between you and that guy who lives in a

blue van covered in bumper stickers down near Muscle

Beach in Venice is the fact that your filter is working.

Think about it; if you were say all that is on your

mind, you would look like an incoherent mess to the other

people around you. That is one of the reasons why we get

so scared that people are going to reject us, because we

each know how crazy we really are.

Now that we‘ve established that you arecompletely delusional and a little insane, let me try to

explain some things that help you know the truth of

yourself a little deeper. Hopefully this truth will make you

free.

The semantic stream of consciousness robs each of

us the experience of the present moment. As my minduses energy to form thoughts, I miss countless turning



105

points and monumental discoveries as they unfold in the

present moment.

The moments I spent in 2009 worried whether or

not one person liked me enough, or if I was good enough

or smart enough, or wealthy enough, have all led me to the

experience of what I am seeing today. Not much has

changed really. I left a job to work for a guy who I thought

was a tool. He obviously didn‘t like me, and took every

opportunity to flex his managerial muscles at me.

I left that job and moved to Brazil. I had no money,

and no way to make any. My destiny and security fell

completely in the hands of someone else. Let me tell you,

it‘s not a good spot to be in. I went from feeling worthless

and undervalued to powerless and imprisoned. Every

decision was made for me. Where I went and when, the

time that my bills were paid, and even the times that I

could leave the place I stayed. I went from the pot to the

fire.

In the thick of the moment, it has proven to be

difficult for me to evaluate the situation and change theenergy effectively. I have learned that I need to take time

each day to ―meditate‖, pray, or set my intentions. I must

take time to relax myself and center my mind, or I will

allow the conditions of life dictate the state of my being. I

often act poorly, and catch the lesson only after I‘ve

removed myself from the situation. Too often in my

lifetime, I have acted like a fully grown six year old.



106

YOU ARE A VERY BIG SIX YEAR OLD AT BEST

As much as I have, you have lived in a slightlychanging state of being since you were. All of your

experiences have been based on a paradigm that you just

could not let go, and you have recreated a similar state of

being your whole life. The ideas in your head of who you

think you are started all the way back before you were six,

and you haven‘t really made much progress since then.

Today, you may think that you are the boss of a

whole division. But, emotionally you are pretty much still

the little fat kid playing dodge ball; you‘ve just found

really great ways of making yourself appear and feel more

powerful. Most of your actions each day are coming from

the unconscious paradigm, which has varied only slightly

since it was formed.

The feelings of insecurity and lack of worth that I

have been triggered to feel from time to time are not new

to me. They have been coming back full circle since I was

six. A sense of instability, insecurity, and lack of worth

were somehow communicated to me at a very early age.My life has mostly reflected this up to the present moment,

though, I have learned to clear my unconscious paradigm,

and things are beginning to manifest very differently.

Remember, I t’s All About Me and that goes for you too. It’s

all about you.

It is just the natural order of things. Our beliefscreate an energetic vibration which brings us into

situations that challenge those beliefs. At this point, we



107

are best served by letting go of and clearing what is being

challenged. Consider the fact that you are absolutely so

much more than what your mind has convinced you. Itdoes not serve you to reinforce your concept of self over

and over again. You and I would certainly do better by

trying to forget who it is we think we are.

Reality is much more peaceful and kind than our

minds and our actions have made it out to be. If we really

want to make a difference in the world we only need to

clear our energetic field of consciousness and allow our

true essence of being freedom of expression. The

expressions of lack, hatred, violence, and negativity are all

the expression of essence as it collects the energy of beliefs

held in the paradigm of mankind.

I have often overcompensated for feeling small and

insecure by verbally, physically, or energetically attacking

other people. This is very common in many people I have

known. We all seem to be stuck on the idea that we must

assert our concept of self in order to be loved and feel

secure. Now, I am fully aware of my habits to attack and

defend. With this awareness comes great responsibility. Ittakes a lot of work and self-reflection to be clear. As I clear

my own paradigm I find fewer reasons to feel attacked and

act less and less from a place of fear.

WE HONOR GOD WITH EACH ACT OF

OBSERVATION

The intent of the human mind is to honor the

essence of all things manifest, both from within and in



108

everything we see. Think about how great your life would

be if you really saw and felt God in everything. The mind

is incapable of contemplating the actual full spectrum ofthe essence from which all things manifest (God). There

are no words. It‘s just beyond the mind.

All things manifest vibrate at a frequency that the

mind can conceptualize. The conceptualization of events,

people, and things, describes a particular frequency of the

all-consuming essence that cannot be explained. As the

mind focuses its attention, feelings are often triggered.

The feelings that are triggered are a frequency of the

essence of all things manifest. A feeling held by the mind

long enough will begin the process of manifestation. This

is how we get ourselves stuck on the wheel of Karma. We

pay homage by giving our attention to that which has been

formed, while ignoring that which formed it.

FREQUENCY

Our minds register and are aware of the frequency of the

collective energy that each moment holds. That frequency,

or vibe of the moment, is understood naturally and is

communicated through the body, triggering chemicals to

release into the body. A few nanoseconds later

consciousness has a thought or recognizes a feeling. The

mind can‘t fathom all that is happening in each moment,

so it conceptualizes the information it picks up through

this process. So, what the mind is observing has really

already passed by the time words can form to describe it.



109

Life is understood by the unconscious mind

through vibrations. Sight, sound, smell, touch, and taste

are sensory vibrations that produce a chemical response inthe mind and body. The unconscious mind picks up and

holds onto far more of the vibration than gets

contemplated by the conscious mind. We know this as the

sixth sense.

A frequency of wave patterns are picked up by the

senses and something inside us brings us to an

understanding of what is going on around us. We are only

slightly aware of the full spectrum of reality. Light patterns

unseen by our eyes are around every moment we see.

Frequencies of sound caress our eardrums continually and

go unnoticed.

Each of us has a different level of sensory

awareness from which we interpret manifest reality.

Think of a dog‘s hearing or sense of smell and you‘ll get

what I am saying here. The unconscious part of the mind

picks up on the subtle energy beneath the sensory

spectrum of the conscious mind. During the first few

years of development the unconscious is somewhat of ablank slate. Quite possibly some type of paradigm is

inherited through DNA. However, for our purposes here,

let us focus on the paradigm as it is formed and what

happens after.



110

A F i n a l N o t e F r o m T i mM c A u l e y r e g a r d i n g t h e

c o n t e n t o f t h i s d o c u m e n t : That’s it folks. These are the pages that had one

reader write to me the following

“Tim, these first 110 pages have given me an entirely new

paradigm to live by, and have changed the course of my life

forever.” Scott Bradley

A few days later Scott also emailed me “this book getsbetter and better. I am so happy we’ve connected at this

time in my life. Thank you for writing this book!”

I hope we’ve connected too.

And I really hope this book has had a similar effect for you

as it has for the people who have already read it. Please

share it with your friends. Help me get this PDF and my

book into the hands of people who would love this message

by pressing the buttons below.

Thank you for taking the time to check out my book. May yourlife be blessed always. ----Tim McAuley



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111

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