Bringing support locally to patients in Dorset

Winter 2017

It’s great to remember

our Grandad with Weldmar’s help

making it easier to accept, understand

and share

weld-hospice.org.uk Registered Charity Number 1000414

Meet the TourgoutsTurn to page 5 for our cover

story

in the home in the local hospital in our hospice over the phone

Newsletter update from CarolineHello,So this is a picture of me at the Midnight Walk. I have to be honest and say it was a ‘before’ rather than an ‘after’ photo. The reason I say this is because I am really not a night person. Much like Cinderella, I should be home before midnight!

What kept me going from the moment I arrived at 9pm until I staggered over the finish at 3.30am were the wonderful people I met.

This year’s theme was carnival and it really did feel like a Brazilian Carnival. There were women dressed in fantastic headpieces, jewellery and all types of costumes and the volunteer face painters did a wonderful job of adding to the atmosphere.

And when someone turned around and their tshirt said ‘in memory of my mum/sister/grandad’, it made me realise that almost every woman who did the Midnight Walk was remembering someone close to them who had died. In my case, my dad in 2015.

We set off at midnight - leaving behind all the brilliant volunteers who had signed us in, taken photos of us and generally did everything that was needed. Many, I have to say, were still there when I returned!

It really was a magical sight to see hundreds of women in flashing crowns walking down Weymouth Esplanade. More than anything I think it made me feel proud. That with everything going on in people’s lives, people still found the time to volunteer, to walk and to support Weldmar.

So, thank you to everyone who helped in whatever way they can.

Caroline HamblettChief Executive

Who would know by looking at her that Mary Thompson is a ninja?

Mary attends Weldmar’s day services in Weymouth, and is a 4th Dan in karate - one of possibly only three women to have reached that level in the country.

The diminutive pensioner could kick you in the head despite her height - though, she confides with a twinkle, “kicks to the groin are more effective anyway”.

Mary was referred to Weldmar after noticing she was losing weight and being diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer, which has spread to her spine. Fit as she was, after years of martial arts training, she had had

Weldmar team profileDr Paul Barker

Dr Paul Barker says this sums up the nature of medicine generally, even in 2017.

However, that is not so at Weldmar, where staff take their time getting to know their patients and finding out what they need to keep them well for longer.

Associate Specialist Dr Paul, who works on the inpatient unit for four days a week and writes books on his free day, said: “I think it’s important not to reduce patients down to chemistry. It’s about being with people towards the end of their life, and sharing their story, and showing them love”.

Dr Paul served 20 years as a GP and studied palliative care before launching his own palliative care team. He came to Weldmar four years ago, though his colleagues say it feels like he’s been there forever.

He added: “Most people want to die at home, but most die in hospital instead. The hospice movement hopes to help prevent that. We look after eight or nine hundred people out in the community every year. Some of the more complex cases come in to the hospice – it’s like an intensive care unit. With other types of healthcare once someone gets a palliative diagnosis it’s as if someone puts the needle on a record and it plays out in the same way for everyone. But in the hospice it’s different.

We get a real chance to get to know people and their families and respond to them as people. That’s what we all love about it.”

Our patients are at the heart of Weldmar We would like you to meet some of them

Mary Thompsonkeeping active with the word games and arts at Trimar

Linda Walshattends Weldmar’s day services at Trimar

Forty years ago, Linda Walsh’s six-year-old son pointed at Kevin Beamin and told her firmly: “I like that one.”

In June 2017, after four decades together, the pair tied the knot to the strains of Etta James’ At Last, with her two sons giving her away.

Linda, 69, from Preston, started to attend Weldmar’s day services at Trimar after her cancer returned.

She said: “The cancer is never far from your mind, but when I’m here doing art it goes away.”

Linda’s wedding took place at the Rembrandt, and the couple may honeymoon in the New Forest, though she is loath to go far after

breaking both shoulders in separate falls.

While planning their nuptials Linda attended day services at Trimar and is making the most of the time she has left.

“I’ve been coming to Trimar for three months,” she said. “I didn’t want to come at first because I didn’t think I was bad enough, but I’ve been very pleased. The company is the best thing about it – we have a good laugh and there’s always jokes flying around. I like the quizzes and I love the art.”

no difficulties breathing and the diagnosis came out of the blue.

Now she is keeping active with the word games and arts at Trimar.

She said: “I’ve thoroughly enjoyed coming to day services. It gets you out of your usual routine and gives you a different dimension as you can talk to people here on so many different levels. Some days with this illness you wish it was all over, but you have good days and it’s cheered me up coming here.”

“Doctors are men who prescribe medicines of which they know little, to cure diseases of which they know less, in human beings of whom they know nothing” Voltaire, 1760

Sue Lipscombe

Sue, a retired primary school teacher, is taking a very human approach to caring for her husband Richard, 74, as his brain tumour - a Grade 4 glioblastoma - takes away his independence at increasing speed. “It’s the big nasty one,” she says.

They moved down to Dorset in 2000 and have since got involved in all sorts of voluntary work.

The pair of them were keen on dancing. Richard was a Morris dancer and a historical dancer, while Sue likes clog and country dancing, and lately, ballet. He also ran health walks in Bridport for people referred by their GPs.

It was while they were dancing in Bothenhampton that Sue would notice him starting to forget to change the music, and he started to forget things he would have to do. Just a few months after his diagnosis, he struggles to get out of bed.

It’s tough, caring for someone who was previously so full of life and now needs help to get to the toilet.

Sue’s getting a break as Richard goes into Joseph Weld Hospice for a week – “Seven nights’ full sleep…” she says. He’s been looking forward to going in too, asking daily: “Is it today?”Weldmar Community Nurse Noreen Reid is helping with the practicalities, including filling out forms to specify what Richard wants to happen at the end, and arranging for them to have a reclining chair and other equipment to make life easier.

She has also got a care package ‘fast-tracked’ to enable Sue to get help so she can get out of the house twice a week.

“He can still hold a conversation,” she says. “But there are other times such as when I came in to find him trying to change the TV channels on his recliner chair’s remote.”

However, they still have a laugh together: “You love them to bits,” she says. “And we do have a giggle. But sometimes you get frustrated. He’s not the same fella, it’s changed him so much. But there are times when I can forget his problems for a while, and we chat about our memories, then we have periods of the changed man.”

Andrew Battison

Pet shop chain owner Andrew Battison once saved a woman’s life – bringing her in to shore to a waiting ambulance after she got into difficulties in the sea.

The 65-year-old, from Kings Stag near Sturminster Newton, who is in our inpatient unit at Joseph Weld Hospice in Dorchester, said: “I was canoeing off Widemouth Bay in north Cornwall when I came across this woman. She was purple and barely alive. I managed to get her to the shore, by which time an ambulance was waiting.”

Andrew’s cancer has spread to three areas and he was admitted to Weldmar with pneumonia, which knocked him for six. “I’m so near the end of my life now,” he says. “My cancer is quite aggressive and rare.”

But just days later he is feeling well and feels “so lucky” to be cared for here.

“It’s so tranquil, and peaceful and beautiful. I wanted to end my life in a hospice after coming to see this place a day before I fell ill. I’m so lucky – the staff are lovely, the food is lovely, it’s an absolutely wonderful place.“I was in hospital for a few weeks then came here – I was a mess when I came in, I thought the pneumonia was going to finish me off. But now I’m doing very well. Nothing flusters me at all, I take everything in my stride. But I do hope I spend my last days here. That would be so nice.”

The only regret he has is never meeting the right person and having children. But he’s happy with his lot, having had a fulfilling life.

Besides saving a woman’s life, Andrew is most proud of working for Debenhams for 21 years, working his way up before establishing his two pets and aquatic shops in Poole and Southampton, Southern Aquatics 26 years ago.

He said: “I was suffering from depression when I worked at Debenhams and knew I had to make a change but every time I tried to leave they offered me more money. But when I made the move I never looked back. I’ve got a great business, and my staff are all looking after it now I’m ill. And I’m here. I feel very lucky.”

And will I be doing the Midnight Walk

next year?

You bet I will

weld-hospice.org.uk2 301305 261800

weld-hospice.org.uk4 501305 261800

You may think that Weldmar’s care just extends to the patient. But one of the most important parts of what we do is making sure people’s loved ones are supported throughout – and in the case of children, sometimes for years afterwards.

Our children and families support worker Jo Sharkey has been working for Weldmar for over eight years. She has supported many children and young people in that time, and helps support the rest of the family too.

Three times a year she gathers the children together for an event to have fun with others, who have also experienced the death of a significant person.

“It is good for them to know they are not alone and for them to meet others in their situation,” she said.

“At the start of an event the children and young people will write a message to their special person, Mum, Dad or grandparent. We then play games, have fun activities and at the end I play some music when they get to put their message somewhere special. It’s a very powerful part of the event, evoking emotion in both the children and adults who have then joined them.”

Jo can get referrals at any stage of the bereavement process. Sometimes, the child has not been told of their parent’s diagnosis and Jo has to break the news herself, or support the family to do so.

At times there will be situations when she is called in after

A great, fun way to remember GrandadEach summer, children gather at Joseph Weld Hospice to remember special people - and they have a whale of a time. There are games to play in the meadow, lots of other kids to meet and little gifts to take home.

The Tourgout family from Weymouth - Linda, her daughter-in-law Charlotte, and granddaughters Gracie and Ava, 10 and 8 - have been coming for seven years, to remember Hussain Tourgout, who died in 2010.

Gracie said: “It’s such a nice place. We have fun and make new friends. We look forward to coming. I was very, very close to grandad, wasn’t I grandma?”

Linda said: “Gracie was always to be found with her grandad, out in the garden, on the computer or watching ‘In the Night Garden’ on the television.”

Charlotte said: “They were like The Odd Couple!”. She added: “We come along to the Christmas and summer events, and the snowdrop events, and my husband John did the firewalk. We took snowdrops home and planted them, and blew bubbles over them.”

Linda said: “The events, organised by Jo Sharkey, keep it in perspective for the girls. It lets them know they are not the only ones.”

Hussain was a nurse tutor at Bournemouth University and was always meeting nurses he had trained as he went to hospital appointments around the county.

Linda said: “They all had a nice story to tell about him, a funny anecdote. He was so well-loved and respected.

“Hussain had all his chemotherapy and radiotherapy but the cancer spread to his spine. Weldmar took him in and gave him intravenous antibiotics when he got a chest infection and we thought it would be the end. But because of his treatment at Joseph Weld Hospice he managed to come home for another two weeks, which enabled all his family in Cyprus to come over and see him.

“He did say he was quite happy here, but luckily they got him well enough to come home, where he died very peacefully after seeing his sister and three brothers with the extra time he was given.

“They let me stay with him here, in a reclining chair by his bed. They were wonderful.”

the person has died to support the family, not having had any connection previously.

Jo said: “I have to find out how much the child knows and take it from there, and sometimes they haven’t been told their mum or dad is ill. Children and young people pick up on things very easily; the whispered conversations, the upset looks and can often feel it is something they have done. It is often their first experience of someone dying and so I try to make the experience as good as it can be.

“Once they know what is happening, we decide on how we make memories. I get them to decide what they want to do, being aware at times of the physical or financial restraints.

“Some parents want to write cards for their young children, to be given to them on their 18th or 21st birthdays or at their wedding and that can be hard to write, as no one knows what might happen before that, or how the child may feel to receive this in years to come.”

One area of Jo’s work is helping to make memory books with the children and their families, filling them with all the things that are or were significant to their parent or grandparent. For example, sweet wrappers,

images of places they have been on holiday or the order of service or a flower from the funeral.

Cover Story!

“An experience of good endings assists with future endings….for life.”

“It’s such a nice place. We have fun and make new friends.

We look forward to coming.”

“It is good for them to know they are not alone and for them to meet others in their situation”

Jo and friends

Supporting bereaved children with Jo SharkeyWhat happens to children when their parent or grandparent has a terminal illness?

She discusses with the family about including the children in the funeral, and going to see the person in the chapel of rest.

“Children react very differently than people sometimes expect them to,” she said. “I’ve known young children go to see their mum in the chapel of rest and react very differently to what is expected by the adults, being very calm and accepting. It all depends on their age, understanding and how it is discussed with the child. If the fear or worry is explored, it can benefit and be a very positive moment for

a child’s future to have been given the opportunity.

“It’s important they are included and understand. I helped an adult with learning difficulties who had never been

included when her mum died, and has always thought she was still in hospital.

“When her dad was dying I assisted the family in ways to help her understand. She was included brilliantly by her family throughout the whole time, and my support and guidance will continue for as long as is needed.

“An experience of good endings assists with future endings….for life.”

Jo can have youngsters re-referred years afterwards. Sometimes it’s the stress of GCSEs, prom night or going to university and leaving the surviving parent alone. It can also be a struggle when there is a new relationship introduced into the family.

Whatever the cause of their need for Jo’s help, they can pick up the phone and she will help.

She said: “One girl I hadn’t seen since she was seven, but various things had led to her feeling the need to come back here. We walked to the room where her mum had been and it was a very emotional visit for her, but it helped to revisit those times.”

Jo runs an adult bereavement group once a month, a group for young people aged 16-24 and goes into school and talks to schoolchildren about her work. She also trains teachers how to help grieving children, liaises with social services and other charities and arranges breaks away for families, and treats where she can get them, often going all out to secure an experience she thinks will help a family going through traumatic times.

She said: “I managed to book a hotel, balloon flight, a night at the theatre and a meal out for one family. I always try for people, and it’s lovely when people offer experiences free of charge for our families.”

The Care Quality Commission inspector made an unannounced visit last year and rated Weldmar Outstanding, and made several glowing comments about our support for families.

She said: “I feel very proud of that. I feel I do a good job, love what I do, but it’s great to have that recognised.”

weld-hospice.org.uk6 701305 261800

London MarathonWeldmar had a team of seven runners competing in the London Marathon on Sunday 23rd April 2017 - who together raised almost £14,000! Thank you to Dan, Matt, Nigel & Rachael, Nikki, Sharron and Sue.

Shop News Dorchester Marathon and Casterbridge Half-Marathon

Weymouth Half MarathonWeldmar Hospicecare was the official charity partner for Weymouth Half Marathon on Sunday 12th March 2017. Our team of 15 runners sported the Weldmar brand and took on the 13.1 miles across Weymouth and together raised over £3,300.

Tom ShanksTom competed in the Lakesman Triathlon in June 2017 - in memory of his mum Jo, and in aid of Weldmar. He completed the 3.8km swim, 180km cycle and the 42.2km run (a marathon!) in an impressive 11h 43m 20s - finishing 55th out of 270 – and raising almost £1,200.

Ruby JenkinRuby Jenkin of Drimpton ran in the Eden Project Half Marathon for Weldmar in October 2016, raising over £450. Nineteen year-old Ruby took on this challenge in memory of her uncle, Clive Avis, who died in 2005 at the age of 32.

Beach Body BlastIn June 2017, Jo Richards held an open air exercise class in Weymouth to raise money for Weldmar in memory of her friend Jo Davies, who passed away 10 years ago. In total, the event raised £525 for Weldmar.

Wing WalkersA group of Allum & Sidaway staff took part in our Wing Walk as part of Matt’s Colossal 10. They raised £8,000 for Weldmar. Thank you to Sadie, Nicky, Luke, Ivonna, Patrick and Brogan who took part in this daring event.

Jolly RogerThank you to everyone involved in the sixth annual ‘Jolly Roger’ event - held in memory of Roger Warren - that took place at The George in Charmouth earlier this year, where family and friends raised £324 for Weldmar. This annual quiz event has now raised £1,800 to help us continue our outstanding care across Dorset.

The MastersThank you to Andrew and Robin, who raised £200 for Weldmar by holding a darts competition at Portland Conservative Club on Easter Sunday. They visited Joseph Weld Hospice to visit their mum, Jean Masters, to present the cheque.

Chideock Cider MakersThank you to everyone involved with the Chideock cider makers for their kind donation - and especially to Val Mears, who added £600 to their donation in memory of her husband Tony - bringing their total to £1,000.

Rotary Club of Lyme RegisIn February 2017, the Rotary Club of Lyme Regis held a ‘Soup & Ploughmans’ lunch at the Alexandra Hotel and Restaurant - raising a fantastic £1,200, which they donated to Weldmar. Thank you to all the members for this donation.

Michael DooleyCongratulations to Michael Dooley and his team, who took part in the non-stop 100 mile London2Brighton Challenge in May 2017 - and completed it in under 30 hours!! They did this in aid of Weldmar Hospicecare and National Osteoporosis Society - and have raised almost £15,000 to date.

Piddlehinton United FCThroughout 2016, Piddlehinton United FC held their 100 Club - a monthly draw with cash prizes. As well as raising money to support the Club, they also chose to donate £100 to Weldmar - as many of their players have had experience of our care for families and friends.

Michael FoxMichael Fox retired as steward of the Portland Royal British Legion Club on 1st May 2017 - and held a retirement and charity night at the club at the end of that month, raising £4,000. Fortuneswell Cancer Trust were gifted £3,000 and Weldmar was presented with £1,000.

DivasCharlotte Banyard, Freddy Robinson and Ann Guy are all part of Divas – who sang at a concert at Winterborne Whitchurch earlier this year, which raised £450 for Weldmar.

Thank you to all our Volunteers, from everyone at Weldmar.

to raise money for Weldmar because of the care we gave to her godparents. She raised £690 in total.

Kate Cooper was asked to take on the Casterbridge Half-Marathon by her Dad, who was a patient of Weldmar Hospicecare’s – and raised £1,400.

On 28th May 2017, Weldmar was proud to have a number of supporters taking part in the Dorchester Marathon and Casterbridge Half-Marathon.

Magna Housing entered a team of six runners, three in each race, raising over £900.

Daisy Taylor entered the Dorchester Marathon

Our Amazing VolunteersWe wouldn’t be able to offer any of our services to our patients and their families, or run any of our 26 charity shops, or hold any of our fundraising events, without the support of our fabulous team of volunteers. At the end of April 2017 we held our annual volunteers’ event, during which long service awards were presented to 25 volunteers who were celebrating 5, 10 and 15 years of service.

Thank you to all our Fundraisers, we really do appreciate all of the support that you give us.

Blandford OutletWe are very excited to have opened our new outlet - our second retail venture in Blandford. We look forward to welcoming you all as customers and donors to our latest, largest and lovely new outlet. We also need volunteers to help in the shop and anyone interested is invited to come in and talk with the manager. We sell a full range of products, including a large selection of furniture. Weldmar shops and outlets provide an important part of the funds required to support our work across Dorset.

Please bring your donations of: clothes|shoes|accessories|jewellery|linens| household goods|books|DVDs|bric-a-brac, which can be brought to the shop. Any donations of furniture can be collected by Weldmar, free of charge, by calling the manager on 01258 488481.

Anniversary year for our Sherborne ShopWeldmar’s charity shop in Sherborne celebrated 20 years of serving the community on Tuesday 1st August 2017.

Valerie Burnham, Weldmar’s Director of Retail, said “We sincerely thank the people of Sherborne for their support; for their generosity in providing donations to fill our charity shop and equally for being our customers and purchasing the goods. Over the years our Sherborne Shop has proven to be extremely profitable, and has been able to raise a considerable amount of money to help Weldmar provide our outstanding services throughout Dorset free of charge.

“We have also been very blessed with a dedicated team of volunteers and staff, which enable us to be successful. We would all like to express our appreciation and gratitude to everyone that has played a part in the money raised over the past 20 years. We look forward to the years ahead, where we can continue to provide the

funds to care for our patients and the services we provide”.

During the last financial year, this shop has helped to support 129 patients, and their loved ones, in the Sherborne area. This care has been provided

across the area – and could be in patients’ homes by Weldmar Community Nurses and associated specialists, in the Weldmar Day Centre in The Yeatman Hospital, or even over the phone.

Details of all our shops can be found - including how to become a valued member of the volunteer team at www.weld-hospice.org.uk/shops

Weldmar’s Heroes of FundraisingWe opened our Blandford Outlet at Block C, Units 6, 7 & 8, Glenmore Business Park, Blandford Forum, DT11 7FP on Wednesday 3rd May 2017

The outlet is open: Monday to Saturday: 9am to 5pm Sunday: 10am to 4pm

Our Sherborne shop is 20 years old

Check our full events listing on our website

weld-hospice.org.uk/events

OCT

All

week!

Sat 6th - Sun 7th Xmas Tree Recycling Weymouth and Dorchester - See www.weld-hospice.org.uk/christmastrees for more details

Events to look out for in 2017-18

JAN

HAPPY NEW YEAR! Let’s go green!

Thur 15th - Strictly Junior FinalWeymouth Pavilion - 7pm

FEB

Sat 17th - Men’s Rugby WalkDorchester - 9.30am

MAR

Lighting up memories for those we miss

Sun 17th DecPrayer of Remembrance During the Parish Carol Service at St Michael’s Church, Lyme Regis - 4pm

Mon 2nd - Sun 8th Wacky Hair for Hospicecare

Wherever you are in Dorset Get your Wacky hair on!!

Mon 9th - Sun 15th Hospice Care WeekAcross Dorset

Wed 11th - Abbotsbury Floodlit Gardens

Abbotsbury Tropical Gardens 5.30pm - 8.45pm

13th - 22nd - Borneo Jungle Trek Borneo - All day for 10 days

Wed 25th - Early Xmas Bingo Dorchester’s Corn Exchange - 6.30pm

Fri 27th - Weldmar Dance Weymouth Pavilion - 7.30pm

Sun 5th - Ten Hour Dance-A-ThonRedlands Community Sports Hub, Weymouth - 9am to 7pm

NEW EVENT!

NOV

All

week!

NEW! EVENT

Weldmar is holding the famous Colour Run on Saturday 12th May and, our Bubble Rush

on Sunday 13th May 2018 Join us at

Lodmoor Country Park in Weymouth for Dorset’s brightest weekend!

Learn more now atwww.weld-hospice.org.uk/register

Saturday 12th and Sunday 13th May

Dorset’s brightest weekend to come in 2018

Follow us: /weldmar@weldmar

Sun 3rd - Family Santa Fun RunDorchester Town Rugby Club - 11am Get the whole family dressed up!

DEC

Wed 29th Nov Castle Gardens Sherborne - 6.30pm

Thur 30th Nov Orchard Park Garden Centre Gillingham - 6.30pm

Sun 3rd Dec Holme for Gardens Wareham - 4pm

Tue 5th Dec Joseph Weld Hospice Dorchester - 6.30pm

Sun 10th Dec Hope Square Brewers Quay Weymouth - 4.30pm

Tue 12th Dec Abbotsbury Subtropical Gardens - 4.30pm

Sat 18th - Xmas Coffee MorningUnited Church Hall, Dorchester - 10am

SERVICES

Dedicate a light to a loved one and join us at our

SERVICESSee our website

for details

Light up a Life