johhny+football+article (3)
TRANSCRIPT
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theAGGIE College Stations Finest News Sourc
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Little over a year ago not many
people had heard of the name Johnny
Manziel. But a few months and a few
football games later, the Johnny
Football craze was sweeping the
nation. This high flying, pocket
scrambling, outspoken quarterback of
the Aggies was beating down the
southeastern conference (well except
for Florida and LSU but we wont talk
The Ascent
Johnnys onCampus!
Aggie Weather
Its a cool 97
degrees Fahrenheit.
Also, its another31 days until
Johnny comes back
to campus.
The iPhone
weather app
For the first time in months
Johnny Football steps foot
on the campus of Texas A&M
Johnnys Schedule
Throw FootballMon.
Run FootballTue.
Sleep FootballWed.
Defecate FootballThur.
TouchdownFri.
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more on 2
over twitter and social media;
posting pictures of crazy
Halloween costumes and
parties to the delight of
everyone watching. Hebalanced all of this with being
a student at a highly ranked
public university- Texas A&M
University. He must be great at
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theAggie April 19, 201
It can be a tough life living in the
shoes of Texas A&M football
phenom Johnny Manziel. I wake
up in the morning and I have so
many texts, snapchats, tweets,
and Facebook pokes from
sorority girls I cant get to them
all, says Manziel. When asked
about how he handles the
pressures of all the attractive co-
eds he says, taking all online
classes and not actually going to
campus helps, other times I
wear sunglasses and try to
convince people that Im not
Johnny Football, but usually my
big head (literally and
figuratively) give it away. If you
havent seen it (see: head) then
you haventlived, Johnny
added. Just this Tuesday his
package from fakeidman.com
suddenly disappeared. I think
some girl took it - I dont even
know how that package got to m
door. First my mail, what is
going to disappear next? Alread
forced off campus, and now he
cant even receive mysterious
packages. These co-eds are
causin more trouble than the
Johnny Recalls Prison
Experience
What is it like to get in a fist-fight
with a 47 year-old man? All I
know is that I kicked his ass,
said Johnny. Further probing
about his night, we asked how
jail went. Well it wasnt that bad
the food sure was better than thfood at A&M., he replied. He wa
released the next day;
unfortunately his 8 fake IDs we
not released with him. Its ok, he
probably learned his lesson
right?
Johnnys Problems: There are so many girls that loveme I dont know what to do problem
I love my
girlfriends
-Johnny Football
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theAggie April 19, 201
Johnny Goes to ClassJohnny goes to class?
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Since a Johnny sighting is a rare
occasion, I took the opportunity to sit
down with the legend and ask him a
few pressing questions.
Q: So how are you enjoying the
campus of Texas A&M on this
beautiful April day?
A: Its nice to finally see the place Iusually only see in pictures.
Q: So how do your online classes
compare to actual classes at the
university?
A: Well they are easier of course- I ge
to use Google.
Q: Do you feel that you are getting
the full Texas A&M student
experience?
A: I am getting to play football right?
And they are paying me to go here
(tuition).
Q: Do you feel that you are
undermining the university system b
bypassing the traditional A&M
education?
(continued)
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theAggie April 19, 201
We then headed over to the Jack
K. Williams administration
building to talk to a
representative of the university
about this unique situation
regarding Manziel.
Q: How in the universitys mind
is this system improving the
education of their student
athletes?
A: We are simply using the
technology of this new day and
age.
Q: Does the administration see
this as a problem?
A: I think Texas A&M is on the
forefront of education
techniques.
Q: How exactly is this attitude
addressing the fact that student
athletes graduate at 32.4
percentage points lower than
regular students across the
country?2
A: This is an easy one... his
classes are easier which gives
him a better chance at
graduating.
Q: But at what point does a
university become less of a place
for an education and more of a
football factory?
A: We are obviously a university;
if this were a football factor we
Breaking News!
Johnny Football is
a sophomore!
I honestly had no Idea.
People kept telling me
that I was a freshman.
Are they going to take
away my Heisman? (We
later informed Johnny
what being red-shirted
Johnny Football
Tragedy Strikes
Just the other day Johnny
Manziel announced it- he was
going to stop tweeting.
According to Manziel he
needed to just shut it all off.
But why Johnny? WHY? So
many loyal twitter followers.
You are just going to abandon
us - just leave us out to dry.
To help cope with our loss we
should reflect on Johnnys
most enlightening tweets:
"Started from the bottom nowthe whole team here...yuhhh"
Nothing illegal about being18+ in a casino and winningmoney...KEEP HATING!
Bought myself a littlebirthday present tonight stop
Obviously Johnny has started
from the bottom of the depth
chart and now hes starting. He
also likes to gamble his money?
And apparently he gets really
annoyed when people are
hating on him. Some of these
tweets have changed my life
forever. There will forever be a
hole in my heart where
Johnnys twitter account
belongs. Now that Johnny has
stopped tweeting who else is
going to stop? Justin Beiber?
Edit: Sources confirm that after
two weeks of fasting Manziel is
back on twitter.
Young dude just tyryn win
here again, if I like her I just fly
her to the city Im in. I gotta
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theAggie April 19, 201
I like burnt orange
-Johnny Football
Johnny Longhorn?
The picture to your right shows our lovely
Johnny Football sporting a Texas Longhorn tattoo.
Controversy? Yes. Drama? Check. The perpetrator
was recently overheard saying, I like how the hornsconnect to both sides of the head. Whats this
supposed to mean Johnny? I thought we were
friends. College Station is the place to be right?
Austin is so lame. Its only the live music capital of
the world; Austin can stay weird for all I care. All I
want is my Johnny back. Johnny please get a tattoo
of a thumbs up (our Aggie hand sign) and put it right
over that longhorn. Then we can welcome you backwith o en arms.3
Dr. Dietel-McLaughlin205 Coleman Morse
[Notre Dame], [IN][46556]
[Sources]1.http://www.nydailynews.com/sports/college/call-johnny-heisman-article-1.1215234
2.http://www.athleticbusiness.com/articles/article.aspx?articleid=3830&zoneid=8
3.http://gamedayr.com/gamedayr/johnny-manziel-spring-break-beer-pong-shorts/
4.http://bleacherreport.com/articles/1411249-who-is-johnny-manziel-mugshot-arrest-over-the-summer-falling-by-wayside
5.http://www.nydailynews.com/entertainment/gossip/johnny-manziel-lights-dallas-nightclub-buxom-blonde-article-1.1234798
6.http://collegefootball.ap.org/columbian/content/manziel-first-freshman-win-heisman-trophy
7.http://bleacherreport.com/articles/1582592-johnny-manziel-leaves-twitter-nation-mourns-loss-of-social-media-giant
8.http://www.forbes.com/sites/mikeozanian/2012/12/09/winning-heisman-trophy-winner-manziel-punished-by-ncaa-and-nfl/
9.http://throwtheflagblog.com/2013/02/johnny-manziel-is-partying-for-mardi-gras/
10.http://bm52.com/2013/01/texas-am-university-logo.html
11.http://blog.al.com/national/2012/12/heisman_trophy_debate_making_a.html
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