jungle jury
TRANSCRIPT
Book by Jay MoriartyMusic and Lyrics by Bill Francoeur
© Copyright 2012, Pioneer Drama Service, Inc.
Professionals and amateurs are hereby warned that a royalty must be paid for every performance, whether or not admission is charged. All inquiries regarding rights should be addressed to Pioneer Drama Service, Inc., PO Box 4267, Englewood, CO 80155.
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1. The full name of the musical2. The full name of the playwright and composer/arranger3. The following notice: “Produced by special arrangement with
Pioneer Drama Service, Inc., Englewood, Colorado”
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JINGLE JURY
Book by JAY MORIARTYMusic and lyrics by BILL FRANCOEUR
CAST OF CHARACTERS(In Order of Speaking)
# of linesCAROLERS .................................................................................13BAILIFF ......................................................................................11JUDGE PFEFFERNUESSE .............................................................59COURT CLERK ..............................................................................8PROSECUTING ATTORNEY ...........................................................24CITIZENS ...................................................................................27JIM DANDY ................................................................................44BAD KID #1 ...............................................................................19BAD KID #2 ...............................................................................16ROBERTA EGGNOG .....................................................................10MAGIC OF CHRISTMAS .................................................................6LETTER WRITERS ..................................................................... n/aREINDEER-IN-TRAINING .................................................................8MOTHER ....................................................................................11FATHER ......................................................................................13SNOW .........................................................................................6SNOWFLAKES .......................................................................... n/aTOYMAKER ................................................................................20ANGEL .......................................................................................10MRS. BOB CRATCHIT ....................................................................7TINY TIM ......................................................................................5WISE MAN #1 ..............................................................................7WISE MAN #2 ..............................................................................6WISE MAN #3 ..............................................................................5SHEPHERD ..................................................................................5INNKEEPER’S WIFE.......................................................................7SANTA CLAUS ..............................................................................4Optional CHORUS can be utilized as additional CAROLERS, CITIZENS, REINDEER, SNOWFLAKES, CRATCHIT CHILDREN and/or SHEPHERDS.
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SETTINGThe action takes place in Candy Cane Court, located in the town of Candy Cane which is just south of Toyland.
SET DESCRIPTIONA courtroom. UP CENTER is a table and chair for the JUDGE. The witness chair is to the LEFT of the JUDGE’S table. RIGHT CENTER is a table with two chairs behind it, one for the COURT CLERK and the other for the PROSECUTING ATTORNEY. There’s another table with a chair LEFT CENTER. STAGE RIGHT and STAGE LEFT, behind the tables, are chairs and/or benches for CITIZENS. A couple of large, optional painted candy canes are somewhere in view, and perhaps a decorated Christmas tree.
ENTRANCES are DOWN RIGHT for CITIZENS, CAROLERS and witnesses and UP LEFT for the official members of the court. At times, a few CHORUS MEMBERS ENTER DOWN LEFT. See set design on page 27.
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SEQUENCE OF MUSICAL NUMBERSMC 1 Jingle Jury–Prelude ............................CarolersMC 2 Jim Dandy .........................................Judge, Citizens,
Carolers, BailiffMC 3 Christmas Spirit? Don’t Wanna Hear It! ..................................Jim, Bad KidsMC 3a Magic of Christmas–Entrance .............InstrumentalMC 3b Letter Writers–Underscore .................CarolersMC 3c Mother and Father–Underscore ..........InstrumentalMC 3d Snow–Entrance .................................Instrumental MC 4 Snow, Lovely Snow ............................Snow, Snowflakes,
CarolersMC 4a Jingle Bells .......................................Citizens, CarolersMC 4b Angel–Entrance .................................InstrumentalMC 4c Mrs. Crachit and Tiny Tim–Underscore .........................InstrumentalMC 5 Home ...............................................Mrs. Crachit,
Tiny Tim, Crachit Children, Carolers, Citizens
MC 5a Wise Men–Montage ...........................CarolersMC 5b Christmas Spirit–Underscore ..............InstrumentalMC 5c Silent Night .......................................EnsembleMC 6 It’s Christmas –We Wish You a Merry Christmas ...............................EnsembleMC 6a Curtain Call–It’s Christmas –We Wish You a Merry Christmas ..............Ensemble
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JINGLE JURY
PRIOR TO LIGHTS UP: MUSIC CUE 1: “Jingle Jury–Prelude.” The opening portion of the prelude is played in darkness. A group of CAROLERS ENTERS and proceeds DOWN CENTER. SPOTLIGHT UP on CAROLERS. They open songbooks.CAROLERS: (Sing.)
Dashing through the snow in a one horse open sleigh.O’er the fields we go, laughing all the way.Bells on bobtail ring, making spirits bright.What fun it is to ride and sing a sleighing song tonight!Oh, jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way.Oh, what fun it is to ride in a one horse open sleigh!Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way.Oh, what fun it is to ride in a one horse open sleigh! (STAGE LIGHTS COME UP on the courtroom as MUSIC CONTINUES UNDER and CHARACTERS ENTER the courtroom and take their positions. CAROLERS mingle with CITIZENS, who ENTER DOWN RIGHT. They engage in greetings and general concerned murmuring. BAD KIDS ENTER DOWN RIGHT, cross and sit STAGE LEFT. CITIZENS and CAROLERS take their seats in the spectator area. At least two seats are left empty DOWN RIGHT. ALL are in an excited mood. PROSECUTING ATTORNEY ENTERS UP LEFT and goes to his/her table. He carries a briefcase, sets it atop the table, takes out various legal looking papers, then sits. The COURT CLERK also ENTERS UP LEFT and crosses to the table and sits. He or she carries a large ledger and quill pen. The BAILIFF ENTERS UP LEFT and stands DOWN LEFT.)
CITIZEN #1: (Speaks.) Candy Cane has never had a case like this.CITIZEN #2: (Speaks.) Shocking, that’s what it is.CITIZEN #3: (Speaks.) Simply a scandal!CITIZEN #4: (Speaks.) Who would have thought it?CITIZEN #5: (Speaks.) Wherever did Jim Dandy get such an idea?
(CITIZENS and CAROLERS continue murmuring. COURT CLERK produces a small bottle of ink and sets it by the ledger, in which he occasionally writes something as the trial progresses.)
BAILIFF: (Checks his pocket watch, nods to himself signifying it’s time for the trial to commence. MUSIC OUT. He calls out in a booming voice.) Hear ye! Hear ye! Hear ye! (The last of the CITIZENS and CAROLERS scurry for seats, sit.) Hear ye! Hear ye! Hear ye!
OTHERS: Hear ye! Hear ye! Hear ye!BAILIFF: The Candy Cane Court is now in session. Honorable
Judge Pfeffernuesse presiding. All rise. (ALL rise. Pause. JUDGE
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PFEFFERNUESSE ENTERS UP LEFT carrying a gavel. He steps behind his table and surveys the courtroom. He bangs the gavel on the table or a wooden block and sits.) All sit! (ALL except BAILIFF sit.)
JUDGE: (Indicates AUDIENCE.) The jury has already been sworn in. The clerk will call the first case.
CLERK: (Stands.) Docket number 3-0-3. Young Jim Dandy. (Sits.)CITIZENS: (Ad lib.) Young Jim Dandy. Wow!
What a confused boy!Causing all this trouble.At Christmastime, too.He ought to be ashamed of himself.Whatever happened to such a good kid?Could he be a grinch? (BAD KIDS only pretend to agree with the CROWD and are having a good time doing so.)
JUDGE: (Picks up the gavel and bangs it.) Order in the court, order in the court.
OTHERS: Order in the court!BAILIFF: Order in the court!JUDGE: For the boy to have a fair and just trial, we must have order in
the court. If there is any more of that type of outburst, I will have the bailiff clear the court. Is that understood?
OTHERS: Yes, Judge Pfeffernuesse.JUDGE: Will the defendant come forward and stand before the clerk?
(CLERK stands. Pause. No one comes forward. Hubbub of VOICES.)CITIZENS: (Ad lib.) Where is he?
Where’s Jim Dandy?He’s not here.Just like him.Tsk, tsk.
BAILIFF: He doesn’t seem to be here, Your Honor.JUDGE: Has he been notified?CLERK: Yes, Your Honor.JUDGE: Where is young Jim Dandy’s attorney?CLERK: He doesn’t have one, Your Honor.JUDGE: No attorney? Then the court will appoint one.PROSECUTING ATTORNEY: (Stands.) He chooses to defend himself,
Your Honor.JUDGE: Defend himself? In that case, he may be taking on a terrible
client. (Laughter from OTHERS. He bangs the gavel.) Now, where is he? (PROSECUTING ATTORNEY sits.)
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CITIZEN #1: (Stands.) I saw Jim Dandy outside in the hallway, Judge Pfeffernuesse. (Sits.)
JUDGE: He’s supposed to be in here. What’s he doing in the hallway? (MUSIC CUE 2: “Jim Dandy.”)
CITIZEN #2: (Stands, speaks.) Probably too scared to come in!CITIZEN #3: (Stands, speaks.) That’s it!CITIZEN #4: (Stands, speaks.) He’s too scared to come in!CITIZEN #5: (Stands, speaks.) He’s chicken!CITIZEN #6: (Stands, speaks.) Chicken Dandy!ALL CITIZENS: (Stand and sing.) Jim Dandy.
Jim Dandy!Has always been as sweet as cotton candy.Jim Dandy!Whatever happened to that boy? (ALL sit. MUSIC CONTINUES UNDER.)
JUDGE: (Bangs gavel, speaks.) Order!OTHERS: (Speak.) Yes, Judge Pfeffernuesse. (Sit.)CITIZEN #1: (Stands, speaks.) He’s not too scared to come in. He’s
too stubborn to come in. (Sits.)JUDGE: (Speaks.) Stubborn? In what way?CAROLER #1: (Stands, speaks.) Refusing to send Christmas cards.
(Sits.)OTHERS: (Horrified, speak.) Not sending?!CAROLER #2: (Stands, speaks.) Refusing to sing Christmas carols.OTHERS: (More horrified, speak.) Not singing? (CAROLER #2 sits.)CAROLER #3: (Stands, speaks.) Telling everyone that there is no
Santa Claus.JUDGE: (Extremely horrified, speaks.) No Santa Claus?!ALL: (Speak.) Oh, no! (MUSIC UP. ALL stand, sing.) Jim Dandy! Jim
Dandy!He’s always been so helpful and he’s handy.Jim Dandy!Whatever happened to that boy? (ALL sit. MUSIC UNDER.)
JUDGE: (Bangs gavel, speaks.) Cards, carols, Claus? This is worse than I thought! Bailiff.
BAILIFF: (Speaks.) Yes, Judge?JUDGE: (Speaks.) I want him in here. If he gives you any trouble, put
him in handcuffs. (CITIZENS gasp.)BAILIFF: (Speaks.) Yes, Your Honor. (EXITS DOWN RIGHT. MUSIC UP.)GIRLS: (Sing.) Call the parents!
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BOYS: (Sing.) Call a cop!GIRLS: (Sing.) This rude behavior has to stop.
What to do?BOYS: (Sing.) What to say?GIRLS: (Sing.) We just can’t let the boy go on this way!BOYS: (Sing.) He must pay!ALL: (Stand, sing.) Jim Dandy!
Jim Dandy!Why can’t he be like Raggedy Ann and Andy?Jim DandyIs acting like a broken toy! (ALL sit. MUSIC UNDER.)
CITIZEN #2: (Speaks.) Jim Dandy used to be such a nice boy.JUDGE: (Speaks.) That was then. This is now. (Scattered nods of
agreement.)CITIZEN #1: (Speaks.) There’s nothing so sad as a child gone bad.CITIZEN #2: (Speaks.) How true, how true.CAROLER #1: (Speaks.) He used to decorate Christmas trees with us.CAROLER #2: (Speaks.) He even made his own decorations.CAROLER #3: (Speaks.) He always brought along his teddy bear. He
loved that teddy bear.CITIZEN #1: (Speaks.) What did he call it?CAROLERS: (Speaks.) Teddy. (MUSIC UP.)ALL: (Stand, sing.) Jim Dandy!
Jim Dandy!Has always been as sweet as cotton candy.Jim Dandy! He’s really starting to annoy!He’s spoiling our Christmas joy!Whatever happened to that boy?! (We hear the VOICES of JIM and BAILIFF.)
JIM: (From OFF RIGHT, speaks.) Hands off! Hands off! Who do you think you’re pushing?
ALL: (Sing.) Whatever happened to that boy?! (ALL sit. MUSIC OUT.)BAILIFF: (From OFF RIGHT.) I know who I’m pushing.JIM: (From OFF RIGHT.) Who?BAILIFF: (From OFF RIGHT.) You. (JIM DANDY is pushed ON DOWN
RIGHT. He’s a young boy doing his best to appear tough. The BAILIFF follows him ON.)
JIM: I got rights.BAILIFF: Tell it to the judge. (BAILIFF crosses to resume his position
DOWN LEFT, hands behind his back.)
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JUDGE: Is your name Jim Dandy?JIM: Of course it’s Jim Dandy. You know me, Judge Pfeffernuesse. I
shovel out your driveway when there’s been a snowstorm.JUDGE: I have to ask certain questions. Court formality. Didn’t anyone
ever tell you how important it is to sign your Christmas cards, Jim? How could anyone know who they were from? Your friends like to know you share the Christmas spirit with them.
JIM: I can handle it. (CITIZENS sigh and tsk-tsk.)JUDGE: I’m very disappointed to see you here. The clerk will swear
you in. (Gestures to table RIGHT.)JIM: Which one is the clerk? (Points to PROSECUTING ATTORNEY.)
Him? (Points to CLERK.) Or him?CLERK: (Stands.) Raise your right hand. (JIM crosses and raises his left
hand.) No, your other right hand. (Subdued laughter from CITIZENS.) You swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but—
JIM: Yeah, yeah. Whatever it takes to get me out of here.JUDGE: Is it true you wish to represent yourself in this case, Jim?JIM: You betcha. I can defend myself better than anyone. I know the
score. I’m tough.JUDGE: It’s a very serious charge. I strongly urge you to get an attorney.JIM: Phooey. (OTHERS react.)JUDGE: Are you trying to show contempt for this court?JIM: Naw. I’m trying to hide it. Ha, ha, ha.CITIZENS: (Ad lib.) He’s gone too far!
Outrageous!What’s gotten into him?Tsk-tsk.
JUDGE: It’s your choice. You may be seated, Jim.JIM: Where?JUDGE: (Indicates table LEFT.) There.JIM: Gotcha, Judge. (He sits.)JUDGE: (Stares out to audience. Clears his throat. His words are
solemn.) Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls of the jury. Young Jim Dandy has been charged with a grievous offense. As you know, each December the town of Candy Cane happily embraces the Christmas spirit. However, young Jim Dandy has been telling everyone in town that Christmas spirit is a lot of, uh, uh—
JIM: Nonsense. That’s what it is. Nonsense.JUDGE: He has publicly stated that anyone who believes in Christmas
spirit is a fool. (To PROSECUTING ATTORNEY.) I will ask the
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prosecuting attorney if the town of Candy Cane has any witnesses to refute Jim’s position. (MUSIC CUE 3: “Christmas Spirit? Don’t Wanna Hear It!”)
JIM: (Looks to CITIZENS, waves. Speaks.) Hey, guys. You’ll agree with me. Just you wait and see.
BAD KID #1: (Jumps up, speaks.) We’re with you, Jim.BAD KID #2: (Jumps up, speaks.) Tough kids don’t need no Christmas
spirit.BAD KID #1: (Speaks.) Naw. That’s for babies.JUDGE: (Bangs gavel, speaks.) Sit down!BAD KID #1: (Speaks.) While we’re at it, let’s get rid of Santa Claus.
Who needs him? Only softies believe in Ol’ White Whiskers.BAD KID #2: (Speaks.) Phooey on Ol’ Nick! (BAD KIDS laugh.)JIM: (Raps.) Christmas…JIM/BAD KIDS: (Rap.) …spirit!JIM: (Raps.) I just don’t wanna…JIM/BAD KIDS: (Rap.) …hear it!JIM: (Raps.) Ain’t ever gonna…JIM/BAD KIDS: (Rap.) …cheer it!JIM: (Raps.) Don’t wanna be…JIM/BAD KIDS: (Rap.) …near it!JIM: (Raps.) Won’t ever volun…JIM/BAD KIDS: (Rap.) …teer it!
No Christmas spirit for me!BAD KIDS: (Rap.) Ho! Ho! Go, Jim Dandy, go!JIM: (Raps.) All that singin’ and yellin’,…BAD KID #1: (Raps.) …never-ending noelin’ …BAD KID #2: (Raps.) …and jingle, jingle bellin’…JIM/BAD KIDS: (Rap.) …is driving us nuts!JIM: (Raps.) So what, I don’t really wanna decorate a tree?BAD KIDS: (Obnoxious, rap.) Yeah!JIM: (Raps.) Sending out Christmas cards…JIM/BAD KIDS: (Rap.) …ain’t for me!BAD KIDS: (Obnoxious, rap.) Yeah!JIM: (Raps.) Santa Claus? No way!JIM/BAD KIDS: (Rap.) What a big joke!BAD KID #1: (Raps.) It’s time to retire that tired ol’ bloke.BAD KID #2: (Raps.) He might as well croak!
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BAD KIDS: (Rap.) St. Nick ain’t nothing but a big fat puff of smoke!JIM/BAD KIDS: (Rap.) Christmas spirit?
We just don’t wanna hear it!Ain’t ever gonna cheer it!Don’t wanna be near it!Won’t ever volunteer it.No Christmas spirit for me!
BAD KIDS: (Rap.) Ho! Ho! Go, Jim Dandy, go!JIM: (Raps.) You can keep your sugar plum fairies…BAD KID #1: (Raps.) …and your red holly berries…BAD KID #2: (Raps.) …and yuletide logs…JIM: (Raps.) …and your Candy Cane bliss!JIM/BAD KIDS: (Rap.) Not to mention all the mistletoe just for a kiss!
Yuck!JIM: (Raps.) So what, I don’t wanna celebrate Christmas Eve?BAD KID #1: (Raps.) So what if we think it’s all make believe?BAD KID #2: (Raps.) So what if we don’t attend a candle lighting
ceremony?JIM/BAD KIDS: (Rap.) It’s a lotta Christmas phoney-baloney!BAD KID #1: (Raps.) And that Rudolph!BAD KID #2: (Raps.) Rudolph!JIM/BAD KIDS: (Make unscrewing motion, rap.) We’d like to see his
red nose screwed off!JIM: (Raps.) Christmas…JIM/BAD KIDS: (Rap.) …spirit?!JIM: (Raps.) I just don’t wanna…JIM/BAD KIDS: (Rap.) …hear it!JIM: (Raps.) Ain’t ever gonna…JIM/BAD KIDS: (Rap.) …cheer it!JIM: (Raps.) Don’t wanna be…JIM/BAD KIDS: (Rap.) …near it!JIM: (Raps.) Won’t ever volun…JIM/BAD KIDS: (Rap.) …teer it!
No Christmas spirit for me! (Lots of muffled outrage from CITIZENS. as MUSIC PLAYS OUT.)
BAD KIDS: (Rap.) Ho! Ho! Go, Jim Dandy, go!Ho! Ho! Go, Jim Dandy, go!Ho! Ho! Go, Jim Dandy, go!
JIM: (Sarcastic, speaks.) Ho, ho! (MUSIC OUT.)
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JUDGE: (Bangs gavel.) We’ll have no more of that!BAD KID #1: Sorry, Judge.BAD KID #2: Me, too.JUDGE: Sit down and behave yourselves.JIM DANDY: Sure, sure. Whatever you say.BAD KIDS: We’re solid citizens. (Shake hands as if the whole thing is
a joke and sit.)JUDGE: (To PROSECUTING ATTORNEY.) Call your first witness.PROSECUTING ATTORNEY: (Stands.) For my first witness I should like
to call the well-known Santa-ologist, Roberta Eggnog.CLERK: (Stands, calls out.) Roberta Eggnog! Come into the courtroom!
(Sits. ROBERTA EGGNOG ENTERS DOWN RIGHT. PROSECUTING ATTORNEY steps to witness chair and indicates that EGGNOG should sit there. She does.)
PROSECUTING ATTORNEY: All the witnesses have been sworn in previously, Your Honor.
JUDGE: Proceed.PROSECUTING ATTORNEY: Miss Eggnog, you are a graduate of the
College of the North Pole.EGGNOG: That is correct.PROSECUTING ATTORNEY: Will you tell the court exactly what it is
you do?EGGNOG: As a practicing Santa-ologist, it’s my job to help children
realize that, although Santa Claus may no longer be real to them, he is, nonetheless, part and parcel of Christmas spirit.
PROSECUTING ATTORNEY: In that sense, he “lives on.”EGGNOG: Most certainly.JIM: That’s a lot of bunk.JUDGE: (Slams gavel.) Careful, Jim. Any more of that and I’m sure
you’ll regret it.JIM: Mum’s the word. (Pretends to “zip” his lips.)PROSECUTING ATTORNEY: Would you say the defendant is misguided?EGGNOG: I would say he’s going through the “rebellious” stage. It’s
quite common at his young age.JIM: (Stands.) Your Honor, what’s the big deal? I say Christmas spirit
is nonsense. So what?JUDGE: You’ll have your opportunity to speak, Jim. (JIM sits.)PROSECUTING ATTORNEY: I should like to call my next witness.
Thank you, Miss Eggnog. I may have to call you again.
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EGGNOG: That’s what I’m here for. (She leaves the witness chair and finds a seat in the courtroom.)
PROSECUTING ATTORNEY: For my next witness I call... Magic of Christmas!
ALL: (Amazed, hushed tone.) The Magic of Christmas?CITIZEN #3: That’ll be a first.CITIZEN #4: Imagine.CLERK: (Stands, calls out.) Magic of Christmas! Come into the
courtroom! (Sits. MUSIC CUE 3a: “Magic of Christmas–Entrance.” In a moment, MAGIC OF CHRISTMAS ENTERS DOWN RIGHT. The CITIZENS are enthralled. MUSIC OUT.)
PROSECUTING ATTORNEY: (Gestures to witness chair.) If you wouldn’t mind taking the witness chair.
MAGIC OF CHRISTMAS: Why should I mind? I’m here to help in any way I can. I consider it a civic duty. (Applause. JUDGE bangs gavel. Rather majestically, MAGIC OF CHRISTMAS takes the witness chair.)
PROSECUTING ATTORNEY: Would you tell us, please, what exactly is the magic of Christmas?
MAGIC OF CHRISTMAS: Simply put, it’s all those things that get us in the spirit.
PROSECUTING ATTORNEY: The spirit of Christmas, you mean.MAGIC OF CHRISTMAS: Exactly. The music. The good feelings. The
warmth of a fireplace. A family gathering. A wrapped present. The shining brightness of a single star overhead. (He points upward as if the star was visible. OTHERS look.) The clip-clop of flying reindeer landing on a rooftop. May I illustrate some Christmas spirit?
PROSECUTING ATTORNEY: By all means. (MAGIC OF CHRISTMAS steps in front of the JUDGE’S table. PROSECUTING ATTORNEY remains by witness chair.)
MAGIC OF CHRISTMAS: Observe. (He waves his hands left and right. MUSIC CUE 3b: “Letter Writers–Underscore.” If possible, the STAGE LIGHTS DIM DOWN somewhat. LETTER WRITERS #1, #2 and #3 ENTER DOWN RIGHT while LETTER WRITERS #4, #5 and #6 ENTER DOWN LEFT. Each holds a sheet of paper. Both groups are spotlighted if possible.)
CAROLERS: (Sing under.) Oooh. Oooh.LETTER WRITER #1: (Speaks, reading.) “Dear Santa, I would like a
family photo so I can send it to my grandma who lives in a rest home. And I would like a teddy bear for myself.”
LETTER WRITER #2: (Speaks, reading.) “Dear Santa, could you come to my house one day? Last Christmas Eve, I fell asleep by the
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fireplace, so I didn’t get to meet you. I live at 6-2-1 Evergreen Avenue in Candy Cane. But I suppose you already know that.”
LETTER WRITER #3: (Speaks, reading.) “Dear Santa, I almost forgot. Would you see that the homeless have food and shelter and all the lost puppies and kittens find their way home?”
LETTER WRITER #4: (Speaks, reading.) “Dear Santa, please bring a pair of glasses for the lady next door. She’s a nice lady but doesn’t have much money and she needs to see good.”
LETTER WRITER #5: (Speaks, reading.) “Dear Santa, if it isn’t too much to ask, would you bring peace on Earth so there’s no more fighting? If you do this, it’ll be the best present I ever had. Honest.”
LETTER WRITER #6: (Speaks, reading.) “Dear Santa, what kind of sandwiches do reindeer like?” (MUSIC OUT. LETTER WRITERS EXIT or find seats as STAGE LIGHTS COME UP FULL.)
JIM: (Stands.) What kind of sandwiches do reindeer like? I never heard anything so stupid. Everybody knows reindeer don’t eat sandwiches.
JUDGE: Jim...MAGIC OF CHRISTMAS: (Interrupting.) Your Honor, if I may... (JUDGE
nods.) Ah, but you’re wrong, Jim. When the Christmas spirit is casting its spell, reindeer can do anything.
JIM: Phooey. (He sits. MAGIC OF CHRISTMAS gestures DOWN RIGHT and REINDEER-IN-TRAINING ENTERS. SOUND EFFECT: JINGLE BELLS. MAGIC OF CHRISTMAS motions him DOWN CENTER. [NOTE: Additional REINDEER-IN-TRAINING can be added, if desired.])
MAGIC OF CHRISTMAS: This is a Reindeer-in-Training. I suspect he can tell us something about Christmas spirit. (NOTE: If you’re using more than one REINDEER, divide up the lines.)
REINDEER: (Paws the ground.) Oh, sure. No trouble. None at all. Happy to. (Steps to AUDIENCE.) By the way, we like vegetable sandwiches. Christmas Eve is about the only real exercise reindeer get. Most of the time we sit around, feed and build up body fat. I’m pretty good when it comes to agility drills. But no reindeer feels complete ’til he rides with Santa on a cold and wintry night. Christmas Eve. (MUSIC CUE 3c: “Mother and Father–Underscore.” FATHER and MOTHER ENTER DOWN RIGHT, carrying brightly-wrapped Christmas presents.)
MOTHER: This is really no time to stop. We haven’t gotten all the gifts on our list yet.
FATHER: Leave these packages with me, dear. It will give me a chance to rest my feet. Besides, I heard on the news that this would be an extremely fascinating case.
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MOTHER: Well, there’s only a few more stores to go. But I do need to get to them before they close. And besides, we have some very special gifts to get.
FATHER: The boys will love them.MOTHER: It shouldn’t take long. Why don’t you watch the case and
rest your feet. I’ll be back soon.FATHER: That sounds good. I’ll be right here. (MOTHER EXITS DOWN
RIGHT as FATHER sits in CITIZEN section, STAGE RIGHT. MUSIC OUT.)REINDEER: Late shoppers?MAGIC OF CHRISTMAS: Yes. As usual, some people put off Christmas
shopping until the last minute. The fact that they always get their gifts for others before the stores close also is a part of Christmas. Now, you were telling the jury what you know of Christmas spirit.
REINDEER: It’s exciting to get a running start with Santa in the back of the sleigh. Want me to demonstrate?
MAGIC OF CHRISTMAS: You’ll need snow for that.REINDEER: But naturally. What’s a reindeer without snow? That’s worse
than a camel without a desert. (MUSIC CUE 3d: “Snow–Entrance.” Again, MAGIC OF CHRISTMAS gestures and SNOW ENTERS DOWN RIGHT. She carries a basket. MUSIC OUT.)
MAGIC OF CHRISTMAS: There you are, Snow. Always about when I need you.
SNOW: What can I do to help, Magic of Christmas?MAGIC OF CHRISTMAS: Reindeer-in-Training was just about to
demonstrate to the jury how he rides with Santa Claus on Christmas Eve. Or how he will once his training is complete.
REINDEER: I’ll need some snow to get me in the proper mood. (MUSIC CUE 4: “Snow, Lovely Snow.”)
SNOW: (Speaks.) Then snow you shall have. (A CHORUS OF SNOWFLAKES ENTERS DOWN LEFT and DOWN RIGHT carrying baskets filled with white confetti. [NOTE: If you have the resources, a BLUE LIGHT is thrown on the scene to suggest a wintry Christmas Eve.] During the song, SNOW and SNOWFLAKES move about. MAGIC OF CHRISTMAS and REINDEER-IN-TRAINING taking white confetti from their baskets and tossing it into the air to suggest falling snowflakes.)
SNOW/SNOWFLAKES: (Sing.) Ooo. Ooo.Ah. Ah.
SNOW: (Sings.) Snow, snow, snow lovely snow.Each tiny flake gently falling.Snow, snow, magical snow.Silently cov’ring the land.
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SNOW/SNOWFLAKES: (Sing.)While children sleep tight, we bring white winter dreams.Playful, we dance in the moonlight.Like fine crystal diamonds, we sparkle so bright,Swirling like ghosts in the night.
SNOW/SNOWFLAKES/CAROLERS: (Sing.) Ah. Ah.Snow, snow, snow, lovely snow.Pure as the cold winds of winter.Snow, snow, magical snow.Behold a true wonderland!Like feathers from angel wings spiraling down,Whirling and twirling so lightly.Gracefully swaying adrift in midair,Quietly whisp’ring a prayer.
CAROLERS: (Sing.) Ah. Ah. (CHORUS OF SNOWFLAKES begins to slowly EXIT during the following.)
CHORUS ONE: (Sings.) Snow, snow, snow, snow. LovelySnow, snow, snow, snow. LovelySnow, snow, snow, snow. LovelySnow, snow, snow, snow.
CHORUS TWO: (Sings.)Snow, lovely snow, lovely snow, lovely snow.Snow, lovely snow, lovely snow, lovely snow.Snow, lovely snow, lovely snow, lovely snow.Snow, lovely snow, lovely snow, lovely snow.
ALL: (Sing.) Lovely snow. (ALL SNOWFLAKES, except SNOW, OUT. MUSIC OUT.)
MAGIC OF CHRISTMAS: (Steps to edge of STAGE.) Everybody out there in the darkness, Reindeer-in-Training needs some help. You, too, in the courtroom. Shout after me. On Dasher! On Dancer! On Prancer and Vixen! On Comet! On Cupid! On Donner and Blitzen! (Hopefully, the AUDIENCE will respond.) I know you can do better than that. Again. On Dasher! On Dancer! On Prancer and Vixen! On Comet! On Cupid! On Donner and Blitzen! (Response.) That’s better. (SNOW tosses more confetti.)
SNOW: (Musically.) Snow, snow, lovely snow...MAGIC OF CHRISTMAS: Are you ready, Reindeer-in-Training?REINDEER-IN-TRAINING: Ready.MAGIC OF CHRISTMAS: Over rooftops and chimneys. Over cities and
towns. Over valley and dale. (He pretends to crack a whip over reindeer heads.) On Dasher! On Dancer! On Prancer and Vixen! On Comet! On Cupid! On Donner and Blitzen!
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REINDEER-IN-TRAINING: Away we go! (He makes an animal sound. He circles MAGIC OF CHRISTMAS several times, head high, bells a-jingling. Naturally, if you’re using EXTRA REINDEER, they follow right along. Round and round. MUSIC CUE 4a: “Jingle Bells.”)
CITIZENS/CAROLERS: (Sing.)Dashing through the snow in a one horse open sleigh.O’er the fields we go, laughing all the way.Bells on bobtail ring making spirits bright.What fun it is to ride and sing a sleighing song tonight!Oh, jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way.Oh, what fun it is to ride in a one horse open sleigh!Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way.Oh, what fun it is to ride in a one horse open sleigh! (MUSIC OUT. TOYMAKER storms IN DOWN RIGHT. He holds a woodworking tool in one hand and a wooden nutcracker soldier in the other. He’s terribly upset. MUSIC CUE 4b: “Angel Entrance.”)
TOYMAKER: What’s this I hear about young Jim Dandy?SNOW: Hello, Toymaker. (REINDEER-IN-TRAINING stops.)TOYMAKER: Hello, Snow.MAGIC OF CHRISTMAS: What did you hear?TOYMAKER: That he said the Christmas spirit was a lot of nonsense.MAGIC OF CHRISTMAS: I’m afraid he did. Who told you?ANGEL: (ENTERS DOWN RIGHT.) I did. (MUSIC OUT.)MAGIC OF CHRISTMAS: (To AUDIENCE.) Ah, the angel that sits atop
the Christmas tree. (To REINDEER-IN-TRAINING.) You’d better run along now and check your flight plan.
REINDEER-IN-TRAINING: Good idea. (REINDEER-IN-TRAINING EXITS DOWN RIGHT, bells a-jingling. SOUND EFFECT: JINGLE BELLS.)
ANGEL: Everyone in town has been talking about it.TOYMAKER: I, for one, don’t believe it. Jim Dandy is a good lad. He’d
never put down Christmas spirit. It’s not in his nature.ANGEL: Toymaker made Jim’s teddy bear.TOYMAKER: And his first toy soldier and his first spinning top.ANGEL: He once loved the Christmas season. What could have
happened?TOYMAKER: Jim Dandy, where are you, lad?ANGEL: There he is. (Points to him. TOYMAKER crosses.)TOYMAKER: What’s all this about, Jim?JIM: I don’t want to talk to you. I don’t want to talk to anyone. Leave
me alone.
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ANGEL: Doesn’t sound like you, Jim.TOYMAKER: No, it doesn’t.ANGEL: He used to be so friendly at Christmastime.JUDGE: Are these people witnesses for the prosecution?ANGEL: We haven’t come to speak against Jim, if that’s what you
mean.JUDGE: Then I must ask you to leave the courtroom or take seats. All
this is most irregular. Reindeer. Snow. Angels.PROSECUTING ATTORNEY: Ah, there you have it, Your Honor. All part
of the Christmas spirit.JUDGE: I’m concerned about the melting snow in this courtroom. This
could result in a health hazard.SNOW: Oh, don’t worry, Your Honor. The Christmas spirit will keep me
from melting.JUDGE: Christmas spirit or no Christmas spirit, I want these people to
either leave or be seated.CLERK: (Stands.) Make room for Toymaker, Snow and Angel. (Space
is made on the benches, and SNOW and ANGEL take seats. CLERK sits. TOYMAKER remains standing.)
SNOW: Something’s gone wrong with Jim.ANGEL: He’s not acting like himself.EGGNOG: (Stands.) As a Santa-ologist, I can assure you it’s only a
phase he’s going through. (Sits.)JIM: It is not.BAD KID #1: (Jumps up.) Atta boy, Jim!BAD KID #2: (Jumps up.) You tell ’em, Jim!JUDGE: You two are on the verge of getting timeouts. (They sit.)FATHER: (To a nearby CITIZEN.) Oh, my gosh. It’s my boys! My two sons
are being scolded by a judge!TOYMAKER: Jim Dandy, there’s something funny going on here. Fess
up.JUDGE: (Bangs gavel.) You must take a seat or leave the courtroom.TOYMAKER: I wish to stay, Your Honor.JUDGE: Then you must sit down.TOYMAKER: Consider me sat. (He finds room near ANGEL, sits.
Mumbles.) I’ll get to the bottom of this.ANGEL: Try not to upset yourself, Toymaker.TOYMAKER: I’m already upset.MOTHER: (ENTERS DOWN RIGHT with more packages and joins FATHER
in spectator section STAGE RIGHT.) It’s quite a frenzy out there.
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FATHER: Frenzy. You haven’t seen “frenzy” yet.MOTHER: Well, you said it would be quite a case.FATHER: (Points to BAD KIDS.) Look. The boys... they’re here!MOTHER: Oh, my gosh! I wonder why.FATHER: I don’t know. But they really haven’t been themselves. In
fact, they almost got timeouts from the judge.MOTHER: Timeouts?!FATHER: Where have we gone wrong with them?JUDGE: Are you through with your witness?PROSECUTING ATTORNEY: For the time being, Your Honor.JUDGE: (To MAGIC OF CHRISTMAS.) You may leave the courtroom if
you wish, but stay in the building in case you’re needed again.MAGIC OF CHRISTMAS: Oh, but I haven’t finished my testimony.
(Without waiting for a response, MAGIC OF CHRISTMAS orders CLERK.) Call Mrs. Bob Cratchit and Tiny Tim.
CITIZENS: (Ad lib.) Mrs. Bob Cratchit and Tiny Tim?!Wow!This is quite a case!The first of its kind!I hope the last!
MAGIC OF CHRISTMAS: From Charles Dickens’s A Christmas Carol.CITIZENS: Dickens?CAROLER #1: A Christmas Carol?CAROLER #2: My favorite Christmas story.CAROLER #3: Mine, too.CLERK: (Stands, bellows.) Mrs. Bob Cratchit and Tiny Tim! Come
into the courtroom. (MUSIC CUE 4c: “Mrs. Crachit and Tiny Tim–Underscore.”)
MRS. CRATCHIT: (From OFF RIGHT, speaks.) We’re coming. Fast as we can. (ENTERS DOWN RIGHT. She’s a motherly type and holds a large plum pudding in an uncovered dish. Her son, TINY TIM follows. Speaks.) Tiny Tim and I have been so busy. Preparing Christmas dinner takes a long time. I’ve cooked a lovely bird. (Holds up the plum pudding. Speaks.) Isn’t this a pleasant plum pudding? We’ll all get a good portion for once.
TINY TIM: (Speaks.) Even Mister Scrooge is coming.MRS. CRATCHIT: (Speaks.) That’s right, dear. Even Ebeneezer Scrooge.
I used to think he was such a wicked man.TINY TIM: (Speaks.) Making Father work long hours in a cold office
without so much as a burning coal to warm his fingers.
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MRS. CRATCHIT: (Speaks.) But wonder of wonders, Ebeneezer Scrooge is a changed man.
MAGIC OF CHRISTMAS: (Speaks.) Why is that, Mrs. Cratchit?MRS. CRATCHIT: (Speaks.) All I know is that he’s changed... and for
the better. He could hardly change for the worse.TINY TIM: (Speaks.) He’s even giving Father a shilling raise and a
week’s holiday. (MUSIC OUT.)CITIZENS: (Ad lib.) Amazing.
Incredible.Who could believe such a thing?
MRS. CRATCHIT: And he’s promised to see what he can do for Tiny Tim. I’ve always said the Christmas spirit works wonders. Of course, we haven’t much to give in the way of presents… (MUSIC CUE 5: “Home.” Speaks.) …but Mr. Cratchit always says, “Presents don’t matter if there’s love in a home and the family’s together.” (Sings.)Home, home, to a house that’s filled with love and caring.Home, home, each and every girl and boy so dear.
CRACHIT CHILDREN: (From OFFSTAGE, sing softly under as MRS. CRACHIT continues. [NOTE: CAROLERS can sing here if not using CRACHIT CHILDREN.]) Oooh. Aaah.
MRS. CRATCHIT: (Sings.) I can hear the children softly singingThe sweetest sounds you’d ever want to hear.Melodies that fill the heart with gladness,’Specially ’round this time of year.God up above in heaven, rev’rently I do pray.Wrapped in Your arms, keep them from harm.Show them the way.May You be always near and bless them with good cheerThis Christmas Day. (TINY TIM hugs MRS. CRATCHIT.)
TINY TIM: (Sings.) Home, home, ’tis a place of family and sharing.Home, home, where I know I’ll never be alone.
CRACHIT CHILDREN: (From OFFSTAGE, sing softly under as TINY TIM continues.) Oooh. Aaah.
TINY TIM: (Sings.) Sometimes when I’m sitting by my window,Feeling lost and ever quite so small,I hear the laughter, feel the love around me,And suddenly I’m ten feet tall!
TINY TIM/CRATCHIT CHLDREN: (Sing.)God up above in heaven, rev’rently we do pray.Wrapped in Your arms, keep us from harm.Show us the way.
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TINY TIM: (Sings.) May You be always nearAnd bless us with good cheer.
ALL: (Sing.) This Christmas Day! (NOTE: If using CRATCHIT CHILDREN, they should run in at this point and surround MRS. CRATCHIT and TINY TIM.)
God up above in heaven, rev’rently we do pray.Wrapped in Your arms, keep us from harm.Show us the way.May You be always near and bless us with good cheer.This Christmas day. (MUSIC UNDER.)
MRS. CRATCHIT: (Smelling the pudding, speaks.) It’s a lovely pudding if I do say so myself. What do you say, Tiny Tim?
TINY TIM: (Speaks.) What do I say, Mother?MRS. CRATCHIT: (Speaks.) Yes, dear.TINY TIM: (Speaks.) I say… God bless us, everyone! (He smiles. Soft
applause from CITIZENS. MUSIC OUT.)JUDGE: (Wiping away a tear, bangs gavel.) Please, order in the court.
(MRS. CRATCHIT, TINY TIM and CRATCHIT CHILDREN EXIT. [NOTE: MRS. CRATCHIT and TINY TIM may remain and find seats if desired.])
PROSECUTING ATTORNEY: Have you anything else to contribute, Magic of Christmas?
MAGIC OF CHRISTMAS: I could go on forever.JIM: Give me a break!MAGIC OF CHRISTMAS: One last moment, and then I am through.JIM: Good.JUDGE: (Bangs gavel.) No more of that. (MAGIC OF CHRISTMAS waves
his hand RIGHT. MUSIC CUE 5a: “Wise Men–Montage.” He steps close to the CITIZENS so the AUDIENCE’S view is not blocked. In a moment, WISE MAN #1 ENTERS DOWN RIGHT. He holds a small box in his grip. [NOTE: If you wish, MAGIC OF CHRISTMAS can assume the role of WISE MAN #1.] Two OTHER WISE MEN ENTER, each with a small box or jar. [Or two CITIZENS can stand and step behind WISE MAN #1 to assume the roles. In this case, the gifts are taken from the floor, having been placed there PRIOR TO LIGHTS UP.] STAGE LIGHTING DIMS and, if possible, a BLUISH GLOW FILLS THE STAGE to suggest a clear desert night.)
CAROLERS: (Sing as WISE MEN ENTER as described above.)We three kings of Orient areBearing gifts we traverse afar,Field and fountain, moor and mountain,Following yonder star.
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Oh, star of wonder, star of night,Star with royal beauty bright.Westward leading, still proceeding,Guide us to thy perfect light. (The WISE MEN take a few measured steps and stop. WISE MAN #1 points into the night sky.)
CAROLERS: (Sing softly under following dialogue.)Oooh. Oooh. Oooh. Oooh.
WISE MAN #1: (Speaks.) It’s still there in the sky.WISE MAN #2: (Speaks.) Shining brighter than ever.WISE MAN #3: (Speaks.) Like the rarest of diamonds.WISE MAN #1: (Speaks.) Surely, this is the place. (SHEPHERD ENTERS
DOWN RIGHT. [Or this role can be assumed by a CITIZEN.] He carries a staff [which he picks up from the floor]. He moves to the WISE MAN. If more than one SHEPHERD is used, divide up the lines.)
SHEPHERD: (Speaks.) Good evening, good sirs.WISE MEN: (Speaks.) Good evening.WISE MAN #1: (Speaks.) Shepherd, we have followed that star.WISE MAN #2: (Speaks.) We are three wise men who seek a newborn
child. It has been foretold.WISE MAN #3: (Speaks.) We have brought gifts of gold, frankincense
and myrrh.SHEPHERD: (Speaks.) I know of no such child. (INNKEEPER’S WIFE
ENTERS DOWN RIGHT. [Or, again, a CITIZEN can assume this role.])INNKEEPER’S WIFE: (Speaks.) What is it, what is it? Who are you
talking to, shepherd? We have no rooms, no rooms. (Sees WISE MEN.) Oh, good sirs, forgive me. I am the innkeeper’s wife. It is so seldom highborn gentlefolk come to this village.
SHEPHERD: (Speaks.) They seek a newborn child.INNKEEPER’S WIFE: (Speaks.) Child? Child? Hmmmmm. How odd.
There was a child born this evening. A boy.WISE MAN #3: (Speaks.) The prophecy did not lie.WISE MAN #1: (Speaks.) Will you take us to the room? We wish to
see him.INNKEEPER’S WIFE: (Speaks.) Room? He wasn’t born in a room. All
the rooms were taken. He was born in the manger.WISE MAN #2: (Speaks.) Manger?INNKEEPER’S WIFE: (Speaks.) Wrapped in swaddling clothes. He had
a sheep and a donkey for company.WISE MAN #3: (Speaks.) I wonder if this is the child we seek?WISE MAN #1: (Speaks.) It must be.
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INNKEEPER’S WIFE: (Speaks.) But the parents are poor. They have almost no money. They’re not worth your attention.
SHEPHERD: (Speaks.) It must be another child you seek.WISE MAN #2: (Indicates, speaks.) That is the star we’ve been
following.WISE MAN #1: (Speaks.) It would not lie.CAROLERS: (Sing softly under following dialogue.)
Rejoice! Rejoice! EmmanuelShall come to thee, O Israel.
WISE MAN #3: (Speaks.) Where is the manger?INNKEEPER’S WIFE: (Speaks.) I’ll show you. (Gestures DOWN RIGHT.
The WISE MEN cross OUT.)SHEPHERD: (Speaks.) They’ve brought gifts for this child.INNKEEPER’S WIFE: (Speaks.) There must be some mistake. (EXITS
after WISE MEN. SHEPHERD follows. MAGIC OF CHRISTMAS follows. SNOW and ANGEL rise and follow. MUSIC OUT.)
JUDGE: (Bangs gavel.) Prosecuting Attorney. (LIGHTS RETURN TO NORMAL.)
PROSECUTING ATTORNEY: Yes, Your Honor?JUDGE: If you have no further witnesses—EGGNOG: (Stands.) I feel I should be called back to the witness stand.
After all, Santa Claus hasn’t been called.JIM: (Stands.) Look at that, Your Honor, a grown woman and she still
believes in Santa Claus.EGGNOG: I was speaking in a figurative sense.JIM: Speak English.BAD KIDS: Ha, ha, ha!JUDGE: (Bangs gavel.) Do you wish to recall the witness?PROSECUTING ATTORNEY: Not at this time, Your Honor.JUDGE: (To EGGNOG.) You may be seated.EGGNOG: (Disappointed.) If you insist. (Sits. So does JIM.)PROSECUTING ATTORNEY: At this time, Your Honor, I wish to call a
hostile witness. (This causes a murmur of surprise to run through the CITIZENS.)
CITIZENS: (Ad lib.) Hostile witness?I wonder who it could be?What’s a hostile witness?This is going to be a rabbit out of a hat.I bet I know who it is.Hostile witness, hostile witness.
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JUDGE: (Bangs gavel.) Order in the court.OTHERS: Order in the court.JUDGE: Who is this hostile witness?PROSECUTING ATTORNEY: Young Jim Dandy. (JIM reacts. This comes
as quite a shock.)JIM: Huh?!CITIZENS: (Ad lib.) I knew it.
Jim Dandy.This ought to be interesting.
JIM: (Stands.) But I don’t want to be a witness.JUDGE: You don’t have to, Jim. Anything you say could be used against
you. Are you afraid?JIM: (Though reluctant, he stands.) Nothing scares me. I’m all yours.PROSECUTING ATTORNEY: If you’ll take the witness stand. (JIM
crosses to the witness chair, sits.)BAD KID #1: (Stands.) Don’t be afraid, Jim.BAD KID #2: (Stands.) You’re tough. Like us.JUDGE: Bailiff.BAILIFF: Yes, Your Honor.JUDGE: If those bad kids make any more trouble, toss them out of this
courtroom. (MOTHER and FATHER react.)BAILIFF: Yes, Your Honor.BAD KID #1: Aw, someone’s always picking on us.BAD KID #2: It ain’t fair. (Pouting, they sit.)PROSECUTING ATTORNEY: After all you’ve seen, Jim, you still insist
Christmas spirit is nonsense?JIM: Uh, uh...PROSECUTING ATTORNEY: Do you or don’t you?JIM: Uh, uh...PROSECUTING ATTORNEY: Answer the question.TOYMAKER: Please, it’s as if you are bullying the boy. (Stands, crosses
to witness chair.) Jim, you know me well. I made your teddy bear.JIM: I don’t have it anymore, Toymaker. I threw it away. (ALL gasp.)TOYMAKER: (Shocked.) Threw it away?! Why?JIM: Uh, uh... I didn’t want the other kids laughing at me.TOYMAKER: You’ll have to do better than that.JIM: Uh, uh... It happened one day in October.TOYMAKER: What did? (MUSIC CUE 5b: “Christmas Spirit–Underscore.”
If possible, there’s a LIGHTING SHIFT to suggest another time,
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another place. JIM steps CENTER. BAD KIDS stand and move to him. The MUSIC plays under the following dialogue.)
BAD KID #1: Naw, naw, I’m tougher than you.BAD KID #2: Naw, naw.BAD KID #1: (Makes fists.) Wanna fight?JIM: Why should I?BAD KID #2: You’re a softie.JIM: How do you know?BAD KID #2: (Makes fists.) ’Cuz I saw you with a teddy bear. Wanna
fight?JIM: (Makes fists.) I’m just as tough as you.BAD KID #1: Prove it.JIM: I’m so tough, uh, uh—BAD KID #1: Uh, uh, what?JIM: Uh, uh. (Thinking hard.) I’m so tough I say—BAD KID #2: You say what?JIM: Uh, uh, I say Christmas spirit is a lot of nonsense. (BAD KIDS
are struck dumb for a moment. They can hardly believe their ears.)BAD KID #1: Wow! That is tough.BAD KID #2: That is tough.BAD KID #1: ’Specially in Candy Cane.BAD KID #2: We’d better not mess with him.BAD KID #1: Saying that, he has to be the toughest kid in town!BAD KID #2: Let’s get out of here.BAD KID #1: You said it. (MUSIC OUT. They SIT DOWN. TOYMAKER
steps to JIM. LIGHTS return to normal.)TOYMAKER: So that’s why you said what you did. You wanted the
other children to think you were tougher than they were.JIM: It was either that or get beat up.TOYMAKER: Did you really throw away your teddy bear?JIM: Yes. I wish I had it back.TOYMAKER: Let me tell you something, Jim. I happen to know those
bad kids love the Christmas spirit. But after what you said, they think they have to act as tough as you, or you’ll think they’re softies. If only people would be honest with each other.
EGGNOG: It would save a lot of trouble.JUDGE: (Bangs gavel.) Take your seat, Toymaker.TOYMAKER: Yes, Your Honor. (Takes his seat.)FATHER: (Standing with MOTHER.) Your Honor.
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JUDGE: My goodness! Are you a part of this case?MOTHER: I’m afraid we are. (FATHER and MOTHER cross to BAD KIDS.
BAD KIDS gasp.) These are our children.FATHER: I think we have learned just as much today as Jim.JUDGE: And what is that?MOTHER: We have not instilled the spirit of Christmas in our children.FATHER: But we do know that it is never too late. (MUSIC CUE 5c:
“Silent Night.”)CAROLERS: (Sing softly under following dialogue.) Oooh. Oooh.FATHER: (Speaks to BOYS.) You both acted like bullies and owe Jim
an apology.BAD KID #1: (Crosses with BAD KID #2 to JIM. Speaks, sheepish.)
Sorry, Jim.BAD KID #2: (Speaks.) I’m sorry, too. (Offers hand to JIM, who shakes
it. JIM then offers his hand to BAD KID #1, and they shake.)FATHER: (Speaks.) Kids, let’s head on home. We still have more to
talk about.MOTHER: (Speaks to JUDGE.) Thank you for your time and patience,
Your Honor.JUDGE: (Speaks.) I am sure you will bring the spirit of Christmas to
your house. Just remember, it takes more than presents to create that spirit.
CAROLER #1: (Speaks.) Like decorating a tree.CAROLER #2: (Speaks.) And singing carols.CAROLER #3: (Speaks.) And spending time as a family.MOTHER: (Speaks.) We can bake some Christmas cookies for our
neighbors and friends.FATHER: (Speaks.) Thank you to all of you and have a merry Christmas.
(They EXIT DOWN RIGHT.)JUDGE: (Speaks.) Well, Jim, a most peculiar case. If the jury agrees
that Christmas spirit lives on after all you’ve said, the Candy Cane Court will drop the charges.
JIM: (Speaks.) Thank you, Your Honor.JUDGE: (Speaks.) It’s up to the jury.JIM: (Runs from one end of the STAGE to the other, calling out to the
jury [AUDIENCE]. Speaks.) I know you folks believe. Don’t ever lose that belief. The world needs it. I need it. You need it. We all need it. (MUSIC swells.)
ALL: (Sing.) Silent night! Holy night!All is calm, all is bright.Round yon virgin, mother and child!
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Holy infant so tender and mild,Sleep in heavenly peace!Sleep in heavenly peace! (MUSIC OUT.)
JIM: (With great sincerity.) Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls of the jury, I’m going to count to five and, if you believe in Christmas spirit, shout out “Yes!” (Dramatic pause.) One... Two... Three... Four... Five!
CITIZENS/AUDIENCE: Yes!JIM: Oh, thank you. Thank you! (CITIZENS applaud. SOUND EFFECT:
JINGLE BELLS. From the BACK of the hall/auditorium, we hear a familiar character.)
SANTA CLAUS: (ENTERS.) Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas to one and all. (He runs down the aisle, ad libbing: “Ho, ho, ho, merry Christmas! Merry Christmas!” Those OFFSTAGE, except for FATHER, MOTHER and BAD KIDS, return. ALL look to the approaching SANTA, applauding, waving. He climbs ONSTAGE with the gift sack over his shoulder. JINGLE BELLS OUT.) Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas to one and all.
OTHERS: Merry Christmas, Santa! (He puts the sack on the floor and takes from it a battered teddy bear.)
SANTA CLAUS: Here, Jim. I heard you say you wanted it back. I’ve been keeping it for you.
JIM: (Takes teddy bear.) Wow! This is the best Christmas I’ve ever had!SANTA CLAUS: (Waving to CITIZENS, and then to audience.) Have a
wonderful holiday, everybody. Merry Christmas!ALL: (Waving to AUDIENCE.) Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas!
(FATHER, MOTHER and BAD KIDS return. Smiling, BAD KIDS hold up teddy bears and point at them. MUSIC CUE 6: “It’s Christmas/We Wish You a Merry Christmas.”)
SANTA CLAUS: (Motioning AUDIENCE to join in, speaks.) Come on, everybody. Join in our Christmas spirit. Let’s sing!
ENSEMBLE/AUDIENCE: (Sing.) We wish you a merry Christmas!We wish you a merry Christmas!We wish you a merry ChristmasAnd a happy new year!Good tidings we bring, to you and your kin.Good tidings for Christmas and a happy new year!We wish you a merry Christmas!We wish you a merry Christmas!We wish you a merry Christmas!And a happy new year! (MUSIC changes to an upbeat Latin feel.)
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ENSEMBLE: (Sings.) It’s Christmas! Can you feel it?Good tidings in the air.’Tis the season! Can you hear it?Bells ringing everywhere.Stand up and feel the rhythm.Start movin’ to the beat.Everywhere you hear the carolsSounding so sweet, sweet!And there will be music, and there will be laughter,And there will be lots of love, and feelings of peace on earth.Yes, there will be singing, and there will be dancing,And there will be jingle belling on this Christmas day!Hey! (DANCE INSTRUMENTAL INTERLUDE. Led by SANTA CLAUS and REINDEER-IN-TRAINING, ALL form a conga line and parade around the stage.)
It’s Christmas! Can you smell it?Cookies, candy, lots to eat!Sugar plums and figgy pudding,Tasting so sweet, sweet!We’re gonna be joyful! We’re gonna have good times!Together with lots of love and feelings of brotherhood.Yes, there will be friendship and feelings of good will,And there will be jingle belling on this Christmas day!Come join in the music. Come join in the laughter.There’s gonna be lots of love and feelings of peace on earth.Yes, there will be singing, and there will be dancingAnd lots of rejoicing on this Christmas day! (CAST MEMBERS encourage AUDIENCE to join in.)
ENSEMBLE/AUDIENCE: (Sing.) We wish you a merry Christmas!We wish you a merry Christmas!We wish you a merry ChristmasAnd a happy new year! (MUSIC OUT. BLACKOUT.)
END OF MUSICALMUSIC CUE 6a: “Curtain Call–It’s Christmas/We Wish You a Merry Christmas.” ENSEMBLE ENTERS for bows.ENSEMBLE/AUDIENCE: (Sing.) We wish you a merry Christmas!
We wish you a merry Christmas!We wish you a merry ChristmasAnd a happy new year!
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PRODUCTION NOTES
PROPERTIES ON STAGEJUDGE’S table and chair. Witness chair. PROSECUTING ATTORNEY’S table with two chairs. Another table and chair. Benches or chairs for citizens. Optional Christmas tree and large candy canes.
PROPERTIES BROUGHT ONSongbooks (CAROLERS)Briefcase with papers (PROSECUTING ATTORNEY)Ledger, quill pen, bottle of ink (CLERK)Gavel (JUDGE)Sheets of paper (LETTER WRITERS)Christmas presents (FATHER, MOTHER)Basket with white confetti (SNOW, SNOWFLAKES)Woodworking tool, nutcracker soldier (TOYMAKER)Large dish with plum pudding (MRS. CRATCHIT)Small boxes or jars (WISE MEN)Sack of presents that includes an old teddy bear (SANTA)Teddy bears (BAD KIDS)
FLEXIBLE CASTING NOTESAlthough the script refers to several roles as male, many roles can be played by either female or male cast members. INNKEEPER’S WIFE can become INNKEEPER with just one line change, ROBERTA EGGNOG can become ROBERT EGGNOG, etc.
The only roles that are not gender flexible are JIM, BAD KID #1, MOTHER, FATHER, SHEPHERD, SNOW, ANGEL, MRS. CRATCHIT, TINY TIM and SANTA CLAUS.
With plenty of large chorus numbers, the cast can be as large as desired. For a smaller cast, CAROLERS can be combined with CITIZENS. Though it would be challenging, this can be done with a cast as small as 15, with an ensemble of six CAROLERS playing CITIZENS as well as all the witnesses.
The roles that cannot be doubled are BAILIFF, JUDGE, COURT CLERK, PROSECUTING ATTORNEY, JIM DANDY, BAD KID #1, BAD KID #2, MOTHER and FATHER.
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COSTUME NOTESIf there’s a special costume requirement, it’s done with minimal effort. A “suggestion” is all that’s required.
CAROLERS are dressed for winter with caps, scarves, mittens, etc.
BAILIFF wears a large badge on his shirt to denote he’s a court officer of sorts. Handcuffs dangle from his belt, and he carries a pocket watch.
JUDGE wears a choir robe and might, for a comic touch, wear a judge’s white wig.
JIM is dressed in rough street clothes.
ROBERTA EGGNOG wears a professional, distinguished looking outfit.
MAGIC OF CHRISTMAS wears a long robe and a holly wreath for a hat. Glittering Christmas decorations cover the robe.
REINDEER-IN-TRAINING can wear some tree branches tied to his head to suggest antlers. Bells are tied around REINDEER’S ankles and wrists.
FATHER and MOTHER are dressed for cold weather.
SNOW and SNOWFLAKES should look lovely, dressed in flowing white. SNOW also has a sparkling tiara.
TOYMAKER wears a leather apron and spectacles on the bridge of his nose.
ANGEL has tiny wings attached to her back and also wears a flowing white gown. Gold halo if possible.
MRS. CRATCHIT wears an apron and has her hair in a bun.
TINY TIM wears knickers or short pants and always has a crutch.
WISE MEN wear long dark robes or tunics.
SHEPHERD wears a long, light colored tunic and carries a staff.
INNKEEPER’S WIFE wears a peasant dress.
ADDITIONAL NOTESDon’t lose sight of the fact that with its huge flexibility, Jingle Jury is designed to be a simple production. We’re not in the land of realism. We’re in the land of imagination.
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JINGLE JURYSet Design
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