just another california girl, episodes 14-19

7/28/2019 Just Another California Girl, Episodes 14-19

1/36

Whos going to play me? Alana breathed over my shoulder.


2/36

Youre not in it. Vanessa promptly reminded her, taking

the pages I had just read of my completed work away from me.

Max, this is more than transcription. I want to call Ernest and

give him a piece of my mind! Better yet, Im calling Bernie.

Ive never dated a Bernie, I blurted out, confused.

Bernie is the family business manager. He needs to know

about this.

We were gathered in the creepy room with not much more than

the light from the old television casting a blue glow in one

part of the room. It competed with a desk lamp from where I sat.

Vanessa clutched the pages close to her chest.

An episode of Alfred Hitchcock was running as Vanessa

looked over my handiwork once more. Her lips moved as she read.

She paused to close her eyes and recite back the lines she had

just read.

It was an appropriate response coming from an actress. It

was also pretty exciting to see her reciting my writings of her

recollections of her life as if it were a worthwhile script.

The weird thing was, I didnt expect she would want to

relive these events. I thought she only wanted to share her

memories with me for a feature article meant for someone to pass

the time at a dentist appointment with Thats OK magazine. A


3/36

commercial jarred the room with a promise that anyone could call

a number and get life insurance without being turned down.

I need a snack, Alana announced. She had grown bored of

the unveiling of my first few pages of Vanessas story. I guess

because she wasnt in it.

I continued watching Vanessa. I couldnt tell if she was

repeating back her lines or if she were repeating back lines I

had written in which someone else was speaking.

Its hard to tell, Max just how Chass voice sounded from

reading this. Thats no fault of yours, but he had this slow,

dreamy Southern taint to the way he spoke, she explained to me.

Her eyes looked teary.

We can edit it in there somehow.

So, she hadbeen reciting Chass lines back to herself.

I hoped I wasnt hitting any nerves. Maybe she still loved

him. Maybe she really missed him, and I was opening up a can of

worms that I had no business getting my hands on in the first

place. Maybe, I should have just stopped and booked a flight

back to New York. I had two texts from Ernest which I had yet to

answer.


4/36

Hed be pissed if I let them go for more than six hours, so

I grabbed the phone and tapped out a plausible excuse for my

delayed response.

Pretty awful to have some guy walk up to you and recognize

you as Moms sister, Alana returned to the room with a bag of

organic popcorn.

Not the way he meant it. Vanessa went to lower the volume

on the television. You really should call your mom, Alana.

Dont you think this silent treatment has gone on long enough?

Its our house, too, Alana said through a pillow of

popcorn in her mouth. She didnt buy the whole thing with her

money. Then she hauls off to Africa for a year and makes us

watch it like were her peons.

Alana munched some more, So -- plastic.

The popcorn sucks? Then dont shop at Trader Joes

anymore. Here, Max. Vanessa reverently placed the pages neatly

on the desk and patted me on the shoulder.

No! Mom is. Alana jumped up, swatted popcorn bits onto

the floor and, as she left the room said, I am not calling

her.

Kids. Vanessa sighed. I guess I am lucky I never had any

of my own. Are you going to write more tomorrow?


5/36

We cant stop where we left off.

You need more time to work on this. You can stay as long

as you want! Vanessa squealed like a teenager, jumped up and

down and clapped. She then took my phone from me and mouthed

that she was sorry. In another instant:

Bernie? Im sorry its so late, but I need you to help me

with a new ventureCan you see me first thing tomorrow?...Good.

I have to be up in the Valley as usual by about ten.See you

then. She tried folding my smartphone closed then made a goofy

face at herself realizing it was impossible and asked, Max, do

you know how to use the internet to find flights?

Well, duh, of course I do.

Cancel your Monday morning flight. Let Ernest down easy.

You are going to be staying here while we officially collaborate

on my biography!

We are? We were? Everything was happening so fast. Didnt I

need to let my friends over at Thats OK magazine know that my

feature article was now being turned into a book?

Ernest is going to freak out, was all I could blurt out.

Nyacks Main Street Fun Festival was only a week away. It

was one of the highlights of the fiscal year for Ernests

gallery. He would literally bean me if I missed out on


6/36

supporting him and the artists he supported by not working the

entire festival for Quantum 512 Gallery.

It looked like I had to choose between Vanessa and Ernest.

I imagined putting their names on pieces of paper and

pulling them from a hat with my eyes closed. Only, I would have

written just one name on both pieces of paper:

VANESSA.

What was happening to me? Had my mind already become so

expanded in L.A. that Ernest was going to fall right off its

precarious edge?

I found myself alone in the house the next day. It had

happened before. Vanessa and Alana left without telling me. Not

that I expected to be given notice ahead of time. It was

Vanessas house, after all.

Of course, that detail was debatable. What had transpired

the night before taught me that the home actually belonged to

Angela. I think. Things were getting confusing, but exciting.

I assumed Vanessa was serious when she said we were going

to write the story of her life together. I emailed my editor at

Thats OK about it. I didnt think a magazine would be too

keen on publishing a full-length book. However, they would no


7/36

doubt pay me more to publish a few excerpts especially once they

discovered it was going to be really and truly published.

By whom? I couldnt tell you, but I had complete faith in

Vanessa. Besides, I had to be convinced of something good in my

sad and boring existence. Ernest didnt reply to the text I sent

him about staying a while longer in California.

He was pissed.

It was for the best that I extended my stay in California.

Nyacks Main Street Fun Festival had already happened for 49

consecutive years, so what was going to keep it from happening

for a 50th?

I figured I would be able to help Ernest and the

gallery out next year. If he didnt kill me first.

I am exaggerating, naturally. But, I have to say, for all

intents and purposes, it was pretty fortunate I had a good

excuse for staying in California.

Thus began the second day of my new routine. I helped

myself to some coffee which I understood Alana made for Vanessa

every day without fail. Ever since I arrived, Alana never forgot

to include an extra scoop for my cup when getting the brew

going. After that, I packed up my things and headed out for my

now-routine walk to the library.


8/36

I was still using Vanessas diaries for reference, and I

had quite a few left to read as you can imagine. With my

newfound status as biographer, I couldnt wait to delve into

every juicy detail about her life and make sure she was cast in

the best light ever.

At her age, what actress wouldnt need great lighting to

look her best? Ah ha ha.

In all truthfulness, I did still want to find out what

happened to Chas Childs. I also needed to find out, carefully,

what the deal was with Vanessas relationship with her sister.

How is it that Vanessa wound up living in her sisters house

with her sisters kid while her sister up and moved to Africa?

Something wiggy was afoot, and I was in charge of figuring it

all out.

That turned out to be the very reasoning I gave Ernest when

he finally did reply to my text.

He said:

.!?!...

So, I wrote back:

And then he said:


9/36

You need to call NOW.

So, I called and told him exactly what I just told you. He

told me that if it really meant that much to me to miss the Fun

Festival and figure things out for a poor but fantastic- soul

like Vanessa Gardner then, as long as I could solve her problems

within one months time, I would still be able to come home to

him.

He also told me that if it took me one hour over 30 days,

hed start looking for someone new.

My heart couldnt take that.

Secretly, I am a geek. I love libraries. There is something

about the ambiance, the whole idea of the world opening up to

you in a seemingly endless supply of books and other media that

just gets me going. I love being able to slip into my own

private mental space and just explore whatever subject it is

that grabs me with the help of a library.

A long time ago, it was my neighborhood library where I got

to find out more about Vanessa Gardner. I was being plagued at

school for being a geek as it was, but I didnt mind living up

to the term when I was deep in the throes of investigative fact-

finding at the library. It was really great to think that I was

now working for Vanessa as her biographer- and, I was getting to

do the job at her local library.


10/36

Even though I have already expressed some of my complaints

(it was a very noisy place where the librarians contributed

sometimes to that noisiness), I still loved going there to work

each day. It sure beat being behind a desk at some grinding job

in Manhattan. It also kind of beat being behind the desk Ernest

set up for me at Quantum 512 where I counted almost every second

until I could go outside for a cigarette break. Hows that for a

sign that maybe I needed this fortunate opportunity to get to

California and work on Vanessas story?

Before doing anything further in my relationship with

Ernest, I still felt I was perfectly within my rights to explore

sewing my oats more. I had several more diaries to read. I

figured it would be best to finish perusing them, take notes and

then fill in the blanks with Vanessa.

One afternoon, after a day of reading and note-taking I

returned to Vanessas house ready to have dinner and then get

some comments from Vanessa on the tape machine. But, there was a

change in plans.

I stepped into Vanessas house, (by that point she had let

me have her extra set of keys) and there was a bonafide party

going on in the creepy room. About half a dozen or so people

were sitting around the coffee table playing cards and smoking.

There was a lot of chatter and laughing going on over the sounds


11/36

of Vanessas computer speakers. They were blaring some old 60s-

sounding tunes.

Alana waved hi to me as she passed a tray of what looked

like formerly frozen pizza bites around. She was dressed up

nicely complete with her knock off Louboutins.

Hey, Max glad you could make it. She shoved the tray in

my face. Pizza roll?

Not right now, but thank you.

I felt a little uncomfortable because just then it was like

the song on Vanessas computer changed so there was a lull in

the music, together with a lull in the chatter. Everyone stared

up at me.

I thought I recognized a face or two, but wasnt sure.

Everybody, this is Max. Vanessa came from another room in

the house. She had on a satin gown and lots of makeup on. She

was barefoot, but she really looked vibrant, beautiful and

happy.

Maxthis is everybody.

Everybody waved or smiled a polite hello to me. Vanessa

leaned in close to me and whispered in my ear, Youll recognize

some of them from Children of Now and from the neighborhood.

How nice to meet you all.


12/36

Isnt Max just the cutest!? Vanessa enticed them all with

a flourish of her hand then mouthed the words, so polite! to

everyone.

That was when Alana signaled for me to head over to where

she was. The music came back on. This time it was something by

the Beatles only it was being sung by an unidentifiable group.

Help me with the pizza rolls, Max.

We were in the kitchen, when Alana grabbed me.

Theyre the Wax Works version two point oh. Im not

kidding. They bore the hell out of me. Please tell me you can

take over for me and help serve. I need to get out of here. Ive

been with her all damn day.

I actually have some experience cooking frozen foods. Id

be happy to.

Max you are a doll. My feet are killing me, Alana said

pulling one shoe at a time off. It made her about a foot shorter

than me. Sorry. I know youve been busy today, too.

Think nothing of it. Ive been sitting on my behind all

day reading your aunts diaries.

Oh my God, Max, youre so cute. She pulled off her hot

pink oven mitts and busied herself with the contents of her

purse which was nearby. She began touching up her makeup. If


13/36

she asks where I am just tell her I ran out to Ralphs to get

some dessert. Honestly, I cant take it much longer, she

smoothed lipstick over her lips as she spoke, I have to help

her with all her errands all day, every day. Its exhausting.

I am only too happy to fill in for you. I dont know why

I said that.

All you have to do is tell them Im at Ralphs. She fussed

with putting her shoes back on. They get stoned and eat a lot.

Theyll forget all about me. Theres some Hot Pockets in the

freezer, too. She kissed me on the lips and off she went.

I wiped traces of Alanas lipstick off my lips and scoped

out the kitchen in order to get my bearings. Pizza rolls to the

right of me, Hot Pockets in the freezer, oven set at 400

degrees. I had a handle on things.

Max!

Coming Vanessa! I rushed to the creepy room with a baking

sheet, wearing Alanas oven mitts.

We dont need any more snacks, Max, one of Vanessas

friends informed me.

No, we need you to join us. Keep us company, said another

one of Vanessas friends who was holding a guitar while sporting

a stovepipe hat. Gonna have a sing along.


14/36

No, Barry, Vanessa corrected him. Were going to tell

stories. Come sit down, Max. Max loves to hear stories. He also

loves writing them, isnt that right? Vanessa emptied a carafe

into someones plastic cup. Shit. We need more booze. Alana!

Alanas at Ralphs. The look on everyone faces was that

of disappointment. Shes getting dessert for everyone.

Who the freak wants cake? Barry blurted out and began

laughing.

Young people today are so boring. And dumb, said another

one of Vanessas friends. This one was a woman who looked about

ten years older than Vanessa only her hair was jet black a jet

black, shoulder-length bouffant.

Max, this is Tina. She lives two houses down.

The one with the cat food bowls outside? Thats me, nice

to meet you Max, she held out her hand expecting me to kiss it.

I hope you dont thinkIm odd.

Of course not, I fibbed, reaching out to shake her hand

instead.

...but, the little stray kitties out in the back that way

need someone to take care of them, Tina squelched a burp.

Love those kitties, Tina, Vanessa said, patting her on

the shoulder. You take such good care of them.


15/36

I make sure they have their shots, their annual vet

checkups

She does, Max. Tina is the neighborhood cat advocate. Oh,

so lets finish telling stories. Max might just help us all get

famous again.

Im not sure what Vanessa meant by that or anything else

that she said that night. But, it was the night she and her

friends helped piece together albeit unaware- of what happened

when they had all met a during the filming of Children of Now

in 1967. I thought I recognized Barry. It struck me as amazing

if it was the guy who appeared along with Vanessa in my favorite

movie of all time. I mean, these people actually still kept in

touch and maintained friendships?

I hate to ask you this, but do you think you could make a

trip around the corner to get us some more alcohol? Vanessa

stood up and made her way close to me. She put both of her hands

on either side of my face and looked at me as if she were a

mother about to give her child a bedtime kiss.

Im afraid I dont yet know my way around the corner

unless its to the library, I said. Vanessa moved her hands

down and away from my face to the front of my shirt. Then she

snapped her fingers in disappointment.

Im too drunk to walk, Max.


16/36

I was beginning to understand what Alana must go through

spending each and every entire day of her life with her Aunt

Vanessa. I really didnt feel like walking anywhere either, if

you must know. I had a long day researching for her book, then I

became a short order cook on short notice. The thought of making

a beer run in a strange neighborhood in the dark was just not

doing it for me.

Call and have them deliver it, hiccupped the guy in the

stovepipe hat. He began strumming his guitar. Its sounds

clashed against the music still streaming from the computer

speakers in the room.

Im calling it an early night, sighed Tina as she stood

to leave. Another couple got up with her. I didnt get to know

one single detail about them except that, as per Alana, they did

smoke pot, get stoned and snack.

Yeah, Vanessa decided with some resignation. Its gotten

pretty beat in here. Lets do it again tomorrow after you feed

the cats. See ya, Ron. Ill call you, Debra.

Tina gave Vanessa a polite air kiss and then offered me the

same. She and the couple left. The stovepipe-hat guy yawned.

Stay on the couch if you want, Billy.

Nah, I can hoof it back.


17/36

Vanessa noticed my look of surprise. This guy looked like

he came from another stratosphere nevermind a place within

walking distance.

He lives a few blocks off. Near the liquor store. Right

before you hit the studio. Not Fox, the other one. MGM.

Sony, Billy corrected her. He heaved himself and his

guitar up and saluted as he walked out the door. The music

played for itself for a minute until Vanessa made it to another

room to turn it off.

Max, she said from around the corner of the hall,

Someday, will take you on a tour of one of those studios. Would

you like that? Have my own golf cart and parking space. She

reappeared and plopped herself down on the sofa. Youd be my

very special guest.

Why not?

Im sorry, maybe I should have told you there was going to

be a get together. I should have officially invited you. Whered

Alana go?

She just needed to get out.

Who can blame her? So, where did our last chapter leave

off?


18/36

No, God. Please. I was not in the mood to lug my tape

machine out and start working. I could hardly believe I was

saying this considering how much time I spent in life being

fascinated with Vanessa and her work.

Dont you want to hear another story to write down?

Honestly? Im kind of tired.

Im never going to divulge this part of the story ever.

Not unless you sit down now and take a note.

She ignored the last part of what I had said and

instead began going on a tangent about what day the infamous

Christmas party where she made Chass acquaintance was.

I excused myself from the creepy room, scoured the kitchen

for a pen and some paper and returned.

No tape machine right now, Vanessa. Pen and paper only.

She bit her lip and grinned at me.

All I was going to tell you was that after Chas took me

for that drive to the hamburger joint the one where he told all

the kids there that he was dating me he took me back to

Graces. He led me up the back walkway into her laundry room

and, in the dark of that laundry room, where just a tiny streak

of moonlight fell, he gave me my first kiss. Now, you put that

down on your little piece of paper and go to bed.


19/36

With that, she fell back on the couch and passed out.

The following morning I awoke to the smell of the coffee

Alana was brewing, dutifully. Since Vanessa had taken over my

spot on the creepy room sofa, I was able to make use of her bed.

Birds chirped amidst the phffft-phfft-phfft of lawn sprinklers.

The sunshine made it hard to keep my eyes closed, although I

would have loved to sleep a little more.

Instinctively, I moved my hand across the bed noting how

empty it was.

I had about twenty-eight days to meet my book deadline. The

one Ernest had set for me. Actually, what Ernest set me was an

ultimatum. Still, laying there in the bedroom sunshine in an

actresses' bed all alone made me miss him something fierce. I

knew I could trust Ernest back home and all, but it began to

dawn on me how chatting, texting and even calling was just not

enough to sustain our relationship. I hoped I wasnt making a

bad mistake taking on this project.

The pleasant sounds outside suddenly were jarred by a tap-

tap-tap from nearby. I bolted up and looked out the window. An

old man with nothing but a white undershirt and black Hanes

boxer briefs stood there. He looked lost.

Um.Alana? was the first thing that came out of my mouth.


20/36

The man heard my voice and followed it right to the window

where he caught sight of me sitting up in Vanessas bed.

Ho there, he said as he approached. I cant work my

coffee maker. He held up an empty white mug. His hair was

styled in a neat buzz cut and although he had some stubble, it

didnt look like he could be homeless.

Alana finally arrived to the room in an outfit that went

head-to-head with the old guys except her bottoms were cut with

the female form in mind.

Sherman! Wait right there. Ill go get Vanessa.

A moment later, Vanessa was roused and I saw her appear

outside the window next to a very obedient Sherman who stood

still holding his coffee mug.

Were going to go and figure it out. Take my arm, she

said and led him away. They made it about two feet across the

lawn. He grabbed the trunk of an old tree and shook his head and

his coffee mug at Vanessa.

Its okay. Well figure how to make it work.

Hes done this a few times, Alana informed me as she

exited the room. Speaking of coffee, you want yours there in

bed?


21/36

I can get up, dont go through so much trouble. Whos

Sherman?

Our next door neighbor. When his son or daughter forgets

to visit on weekends when his regular nurse is off, he gets

lost. Can you imagine how awful it must be to be ninety-five and

find yourself all alone first thing in the morning? With no

recollection of how the hell to use a coffeemaker? Alana

slurped at hers, then realized the way she was dressed. Oh my

freaking God! Im sorry, Max.

Its okay. I swear, I didnt really notice.

I noticed, but I just didnt really notice, so that wasnt a

lie.

Im fixing my cup myself, I called out to Alana who was

now in her own room opening and closing dresser drawers. I

swear, its really okay.

You better notbe lying, she warned. She was beginning to

feel like a roommate.

Couldnt Vanessa have just invited him in to have a cup of

our coffee?

No, because she also has to make sure hes got CNN on, the

daughters been called, the doors are all locked - stuff like

that.


22/36


23/36

botching a commercial audition, having a hunky hot rod movie

star fawn over her was just the thing she needed.

He drove her back to the party and strategically parked his

XKE a block behind Graces street so that he could sneak Vanessa

inside Graces house via the backyard walkway. It involved

trespassing and cutting through a neighbors bushes, but the

payoff was worth it.

Halfway up the walkway to Graces, Chas turned to Vanessa

and made out with her. The kiss turned her into gelatin and

forced her to white knuckle the railing that led to Graces

laundry room to keep from fainting.

Fortunately for Vanessa and Chas, the laundry room was the

one room in the house that did not contain partygoers. Deep in

the house where the full moonlight of that evening could not

reach was one partygoer who actually could have used the extra

light to find her husband. She had been looking high and low for

him for half an hour.

Loretta Childs was ripped to the gills and teetering on her

black heels. Her nylons had a run in them. More of her lipstick

was on her wine glass than on her lips, and more of her wine was

on her lips than in her glass. She tottered her way into the

living room where George and Marjorie were allowing Angela to

say her good-byes to just about every single person there.


24/36

George made sure Angela kept up with making connections despite

her success on the Peggy Powell show.

Vanessa entered the living room area feeling woozy from a

huge dose of her first fling with what felt like true love. Chas

noticed Loretta and ducked behind Graces awe-inspiring,

twinkling Christmas tree.

He wasnt able to enjoy very much privacy. A connection-

crazy Angela Gardner spied him and approached with George close

behind her. Oh, Daddy LOOK its Chas! she cooed.

Hey there, how are ya? George offered a handshake.

George Gardner. Nice to meet you, Chas. Im Graces partner.

The handshake went on as George explained, Were Adams and

Gardner? The casting agency? I let the lady get top billing.

I have all your posters, gushed Angela, pretending to be

honest.

Chas smiled politely and extracted his hand from Georges

grasp. He managed to make his eyes light up when he lied back to

her: I watch your show every week.

Fabulous party. Have a very merry! George waved to Grace

and led Angela off to join Marjorie. She was helping Vanessa put

her sweater back on, having freshly reclaimed it from Graces

bedroom coat pile.


25/36

Vanessa! Where the hell have you been?

In the den with the young people like Mrs. Adams

suggested.

Marjorie nodded in Georges direction. It was plausible,

after all.

You make any contacts?

George, honestly, said Marjorie in a parental tone. Did

you girls thank Grace for the lovely time?

Just then, Loretta detected Chas from where she stood,

holding on to the wall. Chas caught Vanessas glance just as she

and her family exited the front door. Knowing Loretta was

watching, he motioned for Vanessas phone number with his finger

and the palm of his hand. She mouthed that it was in the book,

and then proceeded as gracefully as a newborn calf to smack into

the doorframe.

She didnt learn about Loretta until a few years later

when she and Chas had a more intense and lasting encounter after

Children of Now was released. That movie was the one she had

auditioned for when she took the bus up to North Hollywood

without Grace or Georges knowledge. It was a low budget picture

with big budget success. It made Vanessa a star big enough to


26/36

rustle Angelas feathers. By then Loretta was long gone and so

was every dime of Chass money.

It was late in the afternoon and the sun coursed through

the creepy room, having finally made it around the house where

the creepy room was positioned. Streams of light ran over the

walls, gracing the vintage portraits of Vanessa and her sister

Angela, and landing on top of the ancient piece-of-furniture

television.

The tree outside that Sherman had stood by while waiting

for Vanessa that morning was tossing the sunlight around at its

own whim, it seemed. I realized after a moment that the birds

who nested there were the real culprits.

They flew back and forth from the roof of the house to the

tree, chasing each other just to have fun and make the most of

such a gorgeous day. I got up from the desk where I sat and

pulled the cord from my tape machine. My work day was at an end

and I wanted to put everything away. Thats when Vanessa entered

the room.

She acknowledged me with a soft how are you and wandered

over to a stack of her diaries on the desk. She began flipping

through one.

Need a hand with that, Max?


27/36

Ive got it, thanks.

Yourmom taught you well.

Hows that? I heaved the tape machine over by my suitcase

on the floor near the couch.

You put your toys away after youre done playing. She

gave me a smile that made me feel good for being so

conscientious, but then it made me think of my real mother for

an instant. As if she read my mind, or the look that came over

me, she asked:

Dont you like your mom?

I carefor my mom.

She carried on perusing the pages of her diary and plopped

herself down on the sofa. But, you dont likeher? When I

didnt answer, she added, Id be proud to have son like you,

Max.

My parents live in Maryland. I send greeting cards. I call

on holidays. Were like that. Its fine.

Just as soon as she was interested in my business, she

became quickly more interested in hers. Holy crap! Listen to

this - May 3, 1969, Had ribs for dinner. Mmm. Delicious.

Sometimes thats what diaries are for.


28/36

I had ribs for dinner? Are you kidding me? Thats awful,

Im tearing that page out.

No, dont. My gosh, you may as well try selling them on

eBay, but dont tamper with them. They have historical import.

I reached for the offensive tome. She yanked it from my

reach.

The fact that I made a big stink about eating ribs on May

3, 1969 is not of historical import. Max, I wrote lies in my

diaries sometimes to keep the truth about what I was up to with

Chas from being found out. Now, I feel like crap. I would love

to know to remember what I was really doing and feeling.

She flipped through some more pages and frowned.

Bought pink frost lipstick at Longs. I hope Angela gets

the mumps.Thats an entry I can almost understand. How the heck

would I have ever known Id get old and forgetful and want to

remember what I can no longer recall? She fell back onto the

sofa with dramatic, but honest flair. I hate myself enough to

end it all.

Korean barbecue sounds like the best thing ever, Alana

announced, entering the room with a fistful of menus. Hi there,

Max. Hungry?


29/36

I nodded. I am, but I dont think your Aunt will be

joining us for any more meals.

Oh my God, shes dead. Alana went over and lightly tapped

at Vanessas knee. When Vanessa carried on with playing dead,

she sat on her Aunts lap and read off a few specials.

You can get off of me now, Alana. Vanessa pushed Alana

off of her lap and tossed me the diary. I missed and it crashed

to the floor. A few pages bent from the force of her toss.

There are more entries than the ones youve looked at just

now, I said, picking up the diary like a wounded bird and

carrying it off to the safety of the stack I had arranged on the

desk.

Alana, go order dinner. Let me talk to Max alone. Youll

eat whatever she gets, right?

I nodded. Why wouldnt I? It was obvious that I really

didnt have a choice.

I blocked a lot out of my mind. A lot that should still be

there, Max. Since it isnt, you and I are never going to have

the whole story pieced together.

Either I was really hungrier than I thought I was, or I was

salivating because of the notion that there was a huge missing


30/36

piece to her story which she was wanting me and only me to

know of for the purposes of writing her biography.

Its not like we can go and ask Chas for his

recollections. She sighed heavily and looked up at me with a

genuine hint of despair. I wanted to slam the door shut and

forget a lot of that stuff happened. Now, Id really like to

remember, and I cant. I hate myself.

Something really bad happened?

Kind of, Max. Her face grew pale. Its one reason hes

not around like he should be.

Ernest Skyped me early the next morning. He could not believe

how much I had missed at Nyacks Main Street Fun Festival. Mick

Jagger was spotted slinking around and had entered Quantum 512

to take a peek at Ernests latest artistic finds. He didnt buy

anything, just in case you were wondering. All the same, Ernest

was walking on a proverbial cloud by the time he got talking to

me.

Vanessa walked into the room at one point, stood behind my

back and then exclaimed, Man alive!

Ernest looked at her in shock from behind the computer

screen. He looked amazing, as usual. At least he did to me. His


31/36

hair was impeccable. How he highlights his grays to look so

natural, I have no idea.

His chiseled features and narrow, piercing blue eyes stare

at anyone from behind those Tom Fords with an over-confidence I

dont think the whole world has the pleasure of knowing. It

should. The Donna Summer song pulsing from his computer speakers

across the country made me homesick.

I think Ernest is the perfect male specimen. Hunky, strong

and aloof. Its like hes part android and part person. He

strives for perfection and achieves it professionally and

personally. Beside all this, he likes me.

Thats your boyfriend? She jabbed me with her elbow.

Hey, I love disco, too! I want to talk to him.

I was slightly mortified. You already are. He can hear- I

used the pencil I had been pretending was a cigarette and turned

it into a pointer,and see everything.

Ernest appeared more disgusted than I had ever seen him be

before.

Hi, there. Im Vanessa. Whos look are you going for? A

very young Martin van Buren or Barnabas Collins?

Max, perhaps theres a private patio where you can lug

that ancient laptop to?


32/36

I love the Edwardian look, Vanessa taunted as she,

herself, discovered the use for my pencil as a presentation

pointer. She jabbed at Ernests face with it.

It wouldnt be Edwardian if I were Martin van Buren. Do

some Googling, lady.

Wow, people from the 1800s are so rude, Vanessa and the

pencil pointer were amused and began drawing a square shape

around Ernests image on the computer monitor.

I was embarrassed.

Now, Max! Ernest demanded.

I should not have to write how at this point, Vanessa

practically did my relationship with Ernest in. Ernest was

already annoyed with me and my book-writing venture which

Vanessa herself had helped to create, and to have missed out on

Nyacks Main Street Fun Festival was a huge no-no. Still, I took

him, via the laptop, out to Vanessas backyard bench where I had

my first dinner with her. I made up with him quick by telling

him that, yes, he could book my plane ticket back for three

weeks from that date.

Vanessa wasnt far off. She stood at the doorway of her

back yard, overseeing things. It was as if she knew something

about my relationship with Ernest that I didnt. When she saw


33/36

that I had ended my talk with him, she approached and plopped

herself down next to me on her backyard bench.

You do know, Max, that its one thing to move away and see

things back home from an entirely new and liberating

perspective, right?

Had I done something bad while speaking to Ernest, I

wondered?

The biggest thing about spending an inordinate amount of

time across the country from where you originate, is the

distance - both physical and emotional, but, just because you

have perspective now doesnt mean you want to destroy the

relationship you have with Ernest.

The sun beat down hard on the laptop, making it and my

fingers that were gracing its touch pad burn.

Really? I challenged her like a teenager.

Really. Being across the country and not speaking to

someone when you should are synonymous. Get back home and work

it out in person. Anything else is just dramatic, narcisstic

futility.

I think you feel the same way as I did when Vanessa uttered

these gems of wisdom to me, but when taken into consideration

she had - and still does have - a point. She also made me feel


34/36

guilty for not speaking to my own mother for four years. Yet,

here I was supposedly working on her life story, not mine.

Like Ducky says in Sixteen Candles:

Toush!


35/36


36/36

just another california girl, episodes 14-19

Documents