The battles with the older of my two girls began when she was a tod-dler. I've got photos of the tiny thing standing a good distance away from me at the park, arms folded defiantly, eyes glaring as if to say “No way am I doing what you want, lady!” I even have a videotape of her saying indignantly into the camera, “I'm a mommy, too—of my dollies! I'm in charge now!” Some kids are just built to butt heads with their parents. Call it stubborn or strong-willed or whatever you like. If you're living with one of these guys, you know that straightfor-ward methods of getting them to follow directions or behave often don't work. They want to be in charge. But, of course, so do you! Instead of resorting to the usual verbal combat (aka yelling or plead-ing), try my so-called sneaky or judo parenting strategies instead. Be-ing sneaky doesn't have to mean being underhanded or manipulative with your children. Rather, “‘sneaky parenting’ is actually ‘smart parenting,’” explains parenting educator Sharon Silver of Proactive Parenting, in Tucson, AZ, and author of Stop Reacting and Start Re-

sponding. “It means approaching your kids sideways instead of straight

on, and using calmness, respect and creativity to get what you want accomplished.”

Rachel Rudman, a mom of two and a pediatric occupational therapist in Cedarhurst, NY, supports this approach. “In my private practice, I constantly recommend what could be referred to as ‘sneaky parenting’ strategies, and they work for me at home, too,” she says. Her take: It's simply human nature for everyone—children, too—to want to be included in decisions about their daily habits. “With many kids who need just a little more control, asking their opinion sometimes and giving them choices often are easy answers to getting them to do what ‘we’ want,” she notes. Try the following tricks and your child will probably even think it was all her idea!

Chore Wars with Sneaky strategies solutions

The power struggle: Your toddler spends half the day pulling toys off the shelf and out of the box, then flits off to

another activity when it's time to clean up.

Beat the clock: For the younger set, the best bet is almost always to turn picking up toys into a beat-the-timer

game, suggests Malibu, CA, psychotherapist Susan Stiffelman, author of Parenting Without Power Struggles: Raising

Joyful, Resilient Kids While Staying Cool, Calm and Connected. Stubborn kids are often intrigued by games and

challenges, so see how many toys your child can put away in, say, five minutes. You can push the idea further by keeping a chart and encouraging your child to “beat his best effort,” perhaps rewarding him with a sticker or privi-lege when he does. Play the “helper” card: Ask him, “Would you like to be my special helper today? You are so good at setting the

dinner table, gathering laundry, cleaning the mirror…” so your child feels like pitching in is actually a privilege. Think positive

Use encouraging, supportive words, rather than threats, to help take the “fight” out of obstinate kids, emphasizes Stiffelman. Instead of saying “We can't go to the park until your toys are put away!” try “As soon as your toys are put away, we get to go to the park!” If your child replies “But I really wanna go play with Brandon,” instead of nagging him about what he has to do to earn that privilege, smile brightly and say “Why yes, you certainly can do that…as soon as all your toys are picked up.” Continue reading at this link ; http://www.parenting.com/article/how-win-over-stubborn-children%20?cmpid=obinsite

**A&FRC offers services and programs to meet your family and individual needs. Please, call 850-884-5441

to schedule your session.**

How to Win Over Stubborn Children

I N S I D E T H I S

I S S U E :

Happiness 2

Hedonic Treadmill 2

Program Highlights 3

A&FRC Classes 4

MOMC Experience 5

Retirement Blind

Spots

6

Key Spouse Newsletter A P R I L 2 0 1 7

I M P O R T A N T

D A T E S

1 6 A P R E A S T E R

5 Apr Key Spouse

Suicide & SAPR Training

11:30-12:30 and 6:00-7:00

6 Apr Home Buying Seminar

11:30-12:30

UPCOMING EVENT

24 May Key Spouse Initial

Training

Kimberly Lowe-Key Spouse POC kimberly.lowe.4@us.af.mil 850-884-4751

By: Terri Cettina

P A G E 2

The Art of Happiness

Ah, happiness, that elusive state. Philosophers, theologians, psychologists, even economists,

have long sought to define it, and since the 1990s, a whole branch of psychology—positive psy-chology—has been dedicated to pinning it down and propagating it. More than simply positive

mood, happiness is a state of well-being that encompasses living a good life—that is, with a sense of meaning and deep satisfaction.

Research shows that happiness is not the result of bouncing from one joy to the next; achieving happiness typically involves times of considerable discomfort. Money is important to happiness,

but only to a certain point. Money buys freedom from worry about the basics in life—housing, food, clothing. Genetic makeup, life circumstances, achievements, marital status, social relation-

ships, even your neighbors—all influence how happy you are. Or can be. So do individual ways of thinking and expressing feeling. Researchers estimate that much of

happiness is under personal control. Regularly indulging in small pleasures (such as warm

baths!), getting absorbed in challenging activities, setting and meeting goals, maintaining close social ties, and finding purpose beyond oneself are all actions that increase life satisfaction.

HAPPINESS IS…a matter of perspective

Psy

cho

logy

To

day

say

s...

Money...gotta play the game of life to win...

Ultimately Peaceful times

Keep Goal-setting before you

Hedonic Treadmill can look like...

P A G E 3 A P R I L 2 0 1 7

Give Parents A Break is an Air Force Aid Soci-

ety sponsored program that provides child-

care for spouses of deployed members, sin-

gle parents, or families under stress. To par-

ticipate in this program it requires a referral

by a First Sergeant, Chaplain, CDC or the

A&FRC.

Upcoming Dates:

Cancelled until further notice For more information, please call 850-884-5441.

This Air Force Aid Society (AFAS) grant pro-vides up to $32.50 for an oil change, lube and safety check for a family’s primary ve-hicle during the member’s absence. You

must stop at the A&FRC to obtain a Certifi-cate. Oil change will be done at the Auto

Hobby Shop.

Give Parents A Break-GPAB

Car Care Because we Care

There’s always more to learn, see, and do at your local Airman and

Family Readiness Center; please stop by 220 Lukasik Ave, Bldg.

90213 or call 850.884.5441/5442 for assistance.

Upco

min

g Ev

ents

@ t

he A

&FR

C

P A G E 4

Moms, Pops, & Tots; Apr 4th, 11th, 18th, 15th, & 25th (0-2 y/o), 10:00-11:00

am, @ A&FRC. Apr 5th, 12th, 19th, & 26th (2-4 y/o), 10:00-11:00 am @

Base Chapel. Come out to network and allow your kiddos to interact, sing,

and grow.

Resume Readiness; 5 Apr, 9:00-11:30 am, @ A&FRC. Instructional class de-

signed to assist transitioning members and their family members in creating a

job winning resume.

Key Spouse Training (Suicide & SAPR Training); 5 Apr; 11:30-12:30 pm &

6:00 pm-7:00 pm “Mandatory” annual training for all Key Spouses & Key

Spouse Mentors.

Spouse Employment Ready; 6 Apr, 9:00-11:00 am @ A&FRC; workshop de-

signed to assist spouses and dependents with their short and long term goals.

EFMP “Sing” & Dance; 7 Apr, 5:00-7:30 pm @ King Auditorium: Sensory

friendly movie- ”Sing.” After movie the lobby of theatre will be transformed

for dancing...streamers, lights, etc.

Plan My Move; 7th &17th Apr, 1:00-2:30 pm @ A&FRC, MUST ATTEND:

(1) Less than 4 yrs of military service, (2) First time PCS, (3) First time over-

seas PCS, (4) First time Remote PCS.

Welcome Spouse; 12 Apr, 9:00-2:30 pm @ AFRC: An orientation designed to

welcome and provide new spouses with information and resources to help

them adjust to the new community. Base Tour included.

Volunteer Recognition Ceremony; 13 Apr, 1:00-3:00 pm @ King Auditori-

um: Volunteers are recognized for dedication and efforts for the year.

EFMP 101 Information, 17 April; 11:00 am-12:00 pm @ King Auditorium:

This workshop will provide program overview on three components-medical/

family support/assignments.

Federal Employment Workshop; 19 Apr, 8:30-2:30 pm @ A&FRC, infor-

mation from CPO and info on how to write federal resumes and KSAs

KUDOS; 22 Apr, (Saturday) 8:00-2:00 pm @ DCC; Operation KUDOS is an

educational event to build resiliency in military youth by engaging them in

activities that simulate the pre-deployment experience.

Note: Classes are subject to change without notice. Please call the A&FRC at 884-5441 to verify

time, location, and to register.

Happy EASTER

P A G E 5

APR

IL is

mon

th o

f th

e M

ilit

ary

Chil

d... AIRMAN & FAMILY READINESS CENTER PRESENTS….

Timelines on...Life of a Military Child

Calling all kids, pre-teens, teenagers, young adults, and adults alike...please share your funniest, wackiest,

scariest, and happiest military story! It will be posted via varies face books and local base newspaper.

Your stories don’t have to be long, but don’t feel like it has to be short either. Just tell us what’s on your

mind...but keep it rated PG. For example, share how you met your best friend, how you keep in contact

with your long distance friends, share-what five things you do to help your family pack/unpack or how

the student2student program helped you get settled in your new school.

Believe me, your experience could possibly save time, money, stress, and a life. So, A&FRC is honored to

spotlight this resourceful group of military experiences.

Please, mail all letters to:

MOMC

% A&FRC

220 Lukasik Ave, Bldg. 90213,

Hurlburt Field, FL 32544

Or email: kimberly.lowe.4@us.af.mil your brief story/drawing/pictures/etc.

Note: If emailing letters or drawings; please send in (word doc) format and pictures in (jpeg) format.

Purple is the color for April...wear it proudly!

In celebration of MOMC 2017 consider;

1. Planting a tree

2. Painting a room

3. Purchasing something purple (scarf, pair of socks,

tie, earrings, etc.)

4. Gifting something purple

5. Wearing a purple ribbon or tying one around a

tree

P A G E 6

Check These 7 Retirement Blind Spot By: Christine Benz

Your investment portfolio, despite the market ups and downs of the past few months, looks tantalizingly large. Social Security will provide a surprisingly high percentage of your basic income needs. Maybe retirement is more doable than you thought, sooner than you thought. But don't limit your retirement readiness check to an assessment of your account balances and your Social Security payments. Make sure that you're consider-ing the whole gamut of financial-planning considerations in retirement--especially new expenses and costs that you might not have had to contend with when you were working--when determining whether you're really ready to hang it up. What follows are some of the financial realities of retirement that have the potential to blindside new retirees who don't plan for them. That you could encounter a down market early on in retirement: Market volatility in early 2016 provided a reminder that retirement-portfolio balances can decline. And encountering a bum market, especially early in retirement, can change the math on the viability of retirement in short order. If your $1 million portfolio were to drop by 25% next year, your $40,000 annual withdrawal would jump from 4% to more than 5% in the space of a year. That might not be

catastrophic, but financial planners usually advise pre-retirees to build in some variability in their in-retirement spending programs so that they spend less in down markets, especially if those down markets happen early in their retirement years. I also like the idea of "bucketing"--holding enough cash and bonds to ensure that you're never going to have to sell stocks to meet living expenses when they're in a trough. That your health-care costs may well go up: Some retirees incorrectly assume that turning 65 and being Medicare-eligible means that health-care costs auto-matically go away. But Medicare covered roughly 60% of the health-care expenditures for retirees, according to a 2012 report from the Employee Benefit Research Institute. Factoring in supplemental insurance premiums and out-of-pocket expenditures, among other health-care outlays, Fidelity Investments estimated in 2015 that the typical 65-year-old couple will need $245,000 to cover health-care expenses during their retirement years. Importantly, that figure does not include long-term-care expenditures. Of course, retirees' health-care expenses vary widely and may change over time; some retirees may be covered by an employer-provided plan. That's a shrinking share of workers, though: A Kaiser Family Foundation report noted that 25% of firms with more than 200 employees offered retiree health-care benefits in 2014, down from 38% in 2004. That inflation will take a bite out of your withdrawals: Gas prices provide a regular, visible gauge of whether costs are going up or down. But most price changes are far more subtle and easy to ignore: The pasta box that was 16 ounces shrinks to 14, or the cable bill (don't get me started on the cable bill!) jumps by $20. Over time, those minor cost increases, both direct and indirect, mean that you'll need to spend more to maintain a steady standard of living. That's why it's so important to make sure that you're factoring in the role of inflation when assessing the viability of your plan--an amount that you can live on today may not be enough to get by on in 10 years. Spending guidelines like the 4% "rule" factor in the role of inflation by assuming the retiree spends 4% of her portfolio balance in year one of retirement and then gives herself a small raise annually to account for inflation. It's also valuable to make sure that your port-folio has a fighting shot at out-earning inflation via direct inflation hedges like Treasury Inflation-Protected Securities as well as indirect hedges such as stocks. That you'll owe taxes on your withdrawals from tax-deferred accounts: Balances for Traditional (not Roth) IRAs and 401(k)s are a bit of an optical illusion, in that they look fatter than they actually are. While you enjoyed pretax contributions and tax-deferred compounding while you were accumulating money there, you'll owe ordinary income tax on each and every one of your withdrawals. That underscores the importance of making sure that you factor in the bite of taxes when crafting your retirement-spending plan, as well as the merits of tax diversification--making sure you come into retirement with accounts that will enjoy varying tax treatment, including Roth and taxable assets. That you'll be responsible for managing your own tax outlays: Self-employed individuals well know the importance of setting aside enough from each payday to cover taxes. But for retirees who spent most of their lives receiving a paycheck that took taxes out automatically, covering their state and federal tax bills on their own may take some getting used to. Retirees can manage their ongoing tax obligations by withholding a percentage of their retirement-portfolio with-drawals at the time they take them, by paying estimated taxes, or both. A tax advisor can help you make sure that your ongoing tax outlays during retirement aren't so low that you'll incur a penalty, and aren't so high that you're giving the government an interest-free loan.

That you'll be on the hook for required minimum distributions: Wealthy retirees may find themselves in the enviable position of not needing their IRAs; they can draw their income from other sources and continue to take advantage of tax-sheltered compounding that the IRA wrapper affords. That's a fine strategy if the IRA assets are Roth, and it's even a workable approach with traditional IRA assets in the early retirement years. But required minimum distributions begin in the year in which you turn age 70 1/2, and if the IRA is a large one, your tax bill may well go up right along with those distributions. Here again, tax diversification can come in handy, as withdrawals from Roth and some taxable assets may help retirees offset the tax bills from their RMDs. (Note that Roth IRAs aren’t currently subject to RMDs, but a proposal in President Obama’s budget outline for fiscal year 2017 include a provision that would add RMDs to Roth IRAs.) Retirees should also bear in mind that the RMD doesn't mean those assets must be spent; you can reinvest them in your taxable account or even in a Roth IRA if you don't need the money. (You need earned income to make a Roth IRA contribution.) That you might not be able to continue to work: Continuing to work at least part time is a fact of life for many of today's "retirees"; they may do so by choice or because it's the only way to make the numbers add up for their retirement. But while there are certainly several important financial advantages associated with working longer--delayed receipt of Social Security benefits and delayed portfolio withdrawals are two of the biggies--working longer may not be tenable for everyone. While a third of the workers in a 2014 Employee Benefits Research Institute survey said they planned to work past age 65, just 16% of retirees said they had retired post-age 65. And a much larger contingent of retirees--32%--retired between the ages of 60 and 64, even though just 18% of workers said they plan to retire that early. The disconnect owed to health considerations (the worker's, his or her spouse's, or parents'), unemployment, or untenable physi-cal demands of the job, among other factors.

Find this story at http://www.morningstar.com/members/checkthese7retirementblindspots.html?referid=A3891&CID=CON_IND005

** A&FRC has certified Financial Counselors to assist with short-term, moderate, and long-term goals. Please, call 850-884-5441 for

your financial appointment.**