keynote - tall tales from a large man (aaron draplin)

OFFICIAL PRESENTATION:

AARON JAMES DRAPLIN / DRAPLIN DESIGN CO.

DDC VS. FUTURE INSIGHTS — “TALL TALES FROM A LARGE MAN” SPEAKING FIASCO — HELL YEAH!

JUNE 3, 2015 — TROPICANA CASINO, LAS VEGAS, NEV., U.S.A.

ATTENTION!ATTENTION!ATTENTION!





HEAR THAT PLAYING

RIGHT NOW?





BOB SEGER.









AS LONG AS YOU ARE

DOWN WITH:





THICKLINES





AND





ORANGESTUFF





ANDLOTS OF





TINYIDEAS





AND OF COURSE,





GOINGFOR

BROKE





THEN ME AND YOU? HELL, WE’RE

GONNA BE...





JUST FINE.





ATTENTION!ATTENTION!ATTENTION!





WE COME IN PEACE...





PEDDLING,SHARING &

THREATENING





OUR VERYOWN BRAND OF “DUMB”





USINGSCIENCE





AND





DUMBLUCK





TO BRINGYOU





A SPEAKINGFIASCO

TESTED THE WORLD OVER





THAT WE’RE CALLIN’

TALL TALESFROM A

LARGE MAN





( APPLAUSE!)( APPLAUSE!)( APPLAUSE!)





HELLO,FUTURE LIVE

CONFERENCE!





A SPINNING TROPICANA ROULETTE WHEELLAS VEGAS-FLAVORED THANKS TO:

ELLIE ROBINSON, SARAH ROBINSON, KAYLA ROGERS, ANN DIAB, BRAD WEAVER,

BEN CALLAHAN, JENN LUKAS, AND HELL, EVEN THE GUY WHO

THREATENED TO THROW ME OUT OF THAT FANCY RESTAURANT LAST NIGHT

BECAUSE I WAS WEARING A HAT.





OFFICIALDDC

DISCLAIMER:





READ THIS:THE OPINIONS, HALFWIT SENTIMENT AND ABSOLUTE FUCKIN’ TRUTH IN THIS PRESENTATIONARE SOLELY THAT OF THE DRAPLIN DESIGN CO. AND MORE ORLESS ARE MEANT TO BE TAKEN WITH A GRAIN OF SALT SO JUST CHILL OUT, TAKE IT ALL IN, LET IT BURN, BREATHE REAL DEEP, AND JUST PLAIN BE GLAD YOU DON’T HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH US. REALLY. THIS IS OUR LITTLE LIFE AND WE’RE GONNA TELLYOU THE WHOLE STORY. DEAL WITH IT., YOU SCRUBS. CAMERON, ARE YOU READING THIS? YOU BETTER BE. JASON SANTA MARIA, HOLY SHIT, WE’RE SO LOSE ON ROUND 3. IT’S NICE TO BE BACK IN THE CITY. LAST TIME I WASHERE, I FREAKED OUT AND SPLIT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT, ESCAPING NEW YORK VIA THAT HOLLAND TUNNEL. I DROVE TO NEW JERSEY AND SLEPT IN MY CAR THAT NIGHT. FOR

THE FIRST TIME, I COULDN’T HANG WITH THE SOUNDS, PREDICTABLE FASHION AND NIGHTMARISH HORDES OF HIPSTER LURKERS WANDERING AROUND THE CITY. SO YEAH, THAT’S THE

DEAL THERE. WE’RE STAYING AT THE ACE HOTEL FOR THIS ONE, AND IT’S NICE AND AIR CONDITIONED, POPULATED BY WITTY, HAPPY YOUNGLINGS, SO FUCKIN’ EAGER TO HELP YOU.

THE FLIGHT HERE WAS PRETTY WEIRD. TIGHT SEATS AND SOME GAL WHO JUST HAD TO PEE EVERY 42 MINUTES. HOW DO THESE PEOPLE SURVIVE? GODDAMMIT. EACH TIME SHE GOT UP, I’D SCOLD HER. I DROVE TO NEW

JERSEY AND SLEPT IN MY CAR THAT NIGHT. FOR THE FIRST TIME, I COULDN’T HANG WITH THE SOUNDS, PREDICTABLE FASHION AND NIGHTMARISH HORDES OF HIPSTER LURKERS WANDERING AROUND THE CITY. SO YEAH, THAT’S THE DEAL THERE. WE’RE STAYING AT THE

ACE HOTEL FOR THIS ONE, AND IT’S NICE AND AIR CONDITIONED, POPULATED BY WITTY, HAPPY YOUNG LINGS, SO EAGER TO HELP. THE FLIGHT HERE WAS PRETTY WEIRD. TIGHT SEATS AND SOME GAL WHO JUST HAD TO PEE EVERY 42 MINUTES. HOW DO THESE PEOPLE SUR-

VIVE? GODDAMMIT. EACH TIME SHE GOT UP, I’D SCOLD HER. I DROVE TO NEW JERSEY AND SLEPT IN MY CAR THAT NIGHT. FOR THE FIRST TIME, I COULDN’T HANG WITH THE SOUNDS, PREDICTABLE FASHION AND NIGHTMARISH HORDES OF HIPSTER LURKERS WANDERING

AROUND THE CITY. SO YEAH, THAT’S THE DEAL THERE. WE’RE STAYING AT THE ACE HOTEL FOR THIS ONE, AND IT’S NICE AND AIR CONDITIONED, POPULATED BY WITTY, HAPPY YOUNG LINGS, SO EAGER TO HELP. THE FLIGHT HERE WAS PRETTY WEIRD. TIGHT SEATS

AND SOME GAL WHO JUST HAD TO PEE EVERY 42 MINUTES. HOW DO THESE PEOPLE SURVIVE? GODDAMMIT. EACH TIME SHE GOT UP, I’D SCOLD HER. I DROVE TO NEW JERSEY AND SLEPT IN MY CAR THAT NIGHT. FOR THE FIRST TIME, I COULDN’T HANG WITH THE SOUNDS, PREDICTABLE FASHION AND NIGHTMARISH HORDES OF HIPSTER LURKERS WANDERING

AROUND THE CITY. SO YEAH, THAT’S THE DEAL THERE. WE’RE STAYING AT THE ACE HOTEL FOR THIS ONE, AND IT’S NICE AND AIR. HOW DO THESE PEOPLE SURVIVE? GODDAMMIT. EACH TIME SHE GOT UP, I’D SCOLD HER. I DROVE TO NEW JERSEY AND SLEPT IN MY CAR THAT NIGHT. FOR THE FIRST TIME, I COULDN’T HANG WITH THE SOUNDS, PREDICTABLE

FASHION AND NIGHTMARISH HORDES OF HIPSTER LURKERS WANDERING AROUND THE CITY. SO YEAH, THAT’S THE DEAL THERE. WE’RE STAYING AT THE ACE HOTEL FOR THIS ONE, AND IT’S NICE AND AIR CONDITIONED, POPULATED BY WITTY, HAPPY YOUNG LINGS, SO EAGER TO HELP. THE FLIGHT HERE WAS PRETTY WEIRD. TIGHT SEATS AND SOME GAL WHO JUST HAD TO PEE EVERY 42 MINUTES. HOW DO THESE PEOPLE SURVIVE? GODDAMMIT. EACH TIME SHE GOT UP, I’D SCOLD HER. I DROVE TO NEW JERSEY AND SLEPT IN MY CAR THAT NIGHT. FOR THE FIRST

TIME, I COULDN’T HANG WITH THE SOUNDS, PREDICTABLE FASHION AND NIGHTMARISH HORDES OF HIPSTER LURKERS WANDERING AROUND THE CITY. SO YEAH, THAT’S THE DEAL THERE. WE’RE STAYING AT THE ACE HOTEL FOR THIS ONE, AND IT’S NICE AND AIR CONDITIONED. AND THERE YOU HAVE IT. NOW START THE FUCKIN’ SHOW, ALREADY. FASHION AND NIGHTMARISH HORDES OF HIPSTER LURKERS WANDERING AROUND THE CITY. SO YEAH, THAT’S THE DEAL THERE. WE’RE STAYING AT THE ACE HOTEL FOR THIS ONE, AND IT’S NICE AND AIR CONDITIONED,

POPULATED BY WITTY, HAPPY YOUNG LINGS, SO EAGER TO HELP. THE FLIGHT HERE WAS PRETTY WEIRD. TIGHT SEATS AND SOME GAL WHO JUST HAD TO PEE EVERY 42 MINUTES. HOW DO THESE PEOPLE SURVIVE? GODDAMMIT. EACH TIME SHE GOT UP, I’D SCOLD HER. I DROVE TO NEW JERSEY AND SLEPT IN MY CAR THAT NIGHT. FOR THE FIRST TIME, I COULDN’T HANG WITH THE SOUNDS, PREDICTABLE FASHION AND NIGHTMARISH HORDES OF HIPSTER LURKERS WANDERING AROUND THE CITY. SO YEAH, THAT’S THE DEAL THERE. WE’RE STAYING AT THE ACE HOTEL

FOR THIS ONE, AND IT’S NICE AND AIR CONDITIONED. AND THERE YOU HAVE IT. NOW START THE FUCKIN’ SHOW, ALREADY. FASHION AND NIGHTMARISH HORDES OF HIPSTER LURKERS WANDERING AROUND THE CITY. SO YEAH, THAT’S THE DEAL THERE. WE’RE STAYING AT THE ACE HOTEL FOR THIS ONE, AND IT’S NICE AND AIR CONDITIONED, POPULATED BY WITTY, HAPPY YOUNG LINGS, SO EAGER TO HELP. THE FLIGHT HERE WAS PRETTY WEIRD. TIGHT SEATS AND SOME GAL WHO JUST HAD TO PEE EVERY 42 MINUTES. HOW DO THESE PEOPLE SURVIVE? GODDAMMIT. EACH TIME SHE GOT UP, I’D SCOLD HER. I DROVE TO NEW JERSEY AND SLEPT IN MY CAR THAT NIGHT. FOR THE FIRST TIME, I COULDN’T HANG WITH THE SOUNDS, PREDICTABLE FASHION

AND NIGHTMARISH HORDES OF HIPSTER LURKERS WANDERING AROUND THE CITY. SO YEAH, THAT’S THE DEAL THERE. WE’RE STAYING AT THE ACE HOTEL FOR THIS ONE, AND IT’S NICE AND AIR CONDITIONED. AND THERE YOU HAVE IT. NOW START THE FUCKIN’ SHOW, ALREADY. FASHION AND NIGHTMARISH HORDES OF HIPSTER LURKERS WANDERING AROUND THE CITY. SO YEAH, THAT’S THE DEAL THERE. WE’RE STAYING AT THE ACE HOTEL FOR THIS ONE, AND IT’S NICE AND AIR CONDITIONED, POPULATED BY WITTY, HAPPY YOUNG LINGS, SO EAGER TO HELP. THE FLIGHT HERE WAS PRETTY WEIRD. TIGHT SEATS AND SOME GAL WHO JUST HAD TO PEE EVERY 42 MINUTES. HOW DO THESE PEOPLE SURVIVE? GODDAMMIT. EACH TIME SHE GOT UP, I’D

SCOLD HER. I DROVE TO NEW JERSEY AND SLEPT IN MY CAR THAT NIGHT. FOR THE FIRST TIME, I COULDN’T HANG WITH THE SOUNDS, PREDICTABLE FASHION AND NIGHTMARISH HORDES OF HIPSTER LURKERS WANDERING AROUND THE CITY. SO YEAH, THAT’S THE DEAL THERE. WE’RE STAYING AT THE ACE HOTEL FOR THIS ONE, AND IT’S NICE AND AIR CONDITIONED. AND THERE YOU HAVE IT. NOW START THE FUCKIN’ SHOW, ALREADY. FASHION AND NIGHTMARISH HORDES OF HIPSTER LURKERS WANDERING AROUND THE CITY. SO YEAH, THAT’S THE DEAL THERE. WE’RE STAYING AT THE ACE HOTEL FOR THIS ONE, AND IT’S NICE AND AIR CONDITIONED, POPULATED BY WITTY, HAPPY YOUNG LINGS, SO EAGER TO HELP. THE FLIGHT HERE WAS PRETTY

WEIRD. TIGHT SEATS AND SOME GAL WHO JUST HAD TO PEE EVERY 42 MINUTES. HOW DO THESE PEOPLE SURVIVE? GODDAMMIT. EACH TIME SHE GOT UP, I’D SCOLD HER. I DROVE TO NEW JERSEY AND SLEPT IN MY CAR THAT NIGHT. FOR THE FIRST TIME, I COULDN’T HANG WITH THE SOUNDS, PREDICTABLE FASHION AND NIGHTMARISH HORDES OF HIPSTER LURKERS WANDERING AROUND THE CITY. SO YEAH, THAT’S THE DEAL THERE. WE’RE STAYING AT THE ACE HOTEL FOR THIS ONE, AND IT’S NICE AND AIR CONDITIONED. AND THERE YOU HAVE IT. NOW START THE FUCKIN’ SHOW, ALREADY. FASHION AND NIGHTMARISH HORDES OF HIPSTER LURKERS WANDERING AROUND THE CITY. SO YEAH, THAT’S THE DEAL THERE. WE’RE STAYING AT THE ACE

HOTEL FOR THIS ONE, AND IT’S NICE AND AIR CONDITIONED, POPULATED BY WITTY, HAPPY YOUNG LINGS, SO EAGER TO HELP. THE FLIGHT HERE WAS PRETTY WEIRD. TIGHT SEATS AND SOME GAL WHO JUST HAD TO PEE EVERY 42 MINUTES. HOW DO THESE PEOPLE SURVIVE? GODDAMMIT. EACH TIME SHE GOT UP, I’D SCOLD HER. I DROVE TO NEW JERSEY AND SLEPT IN MY CAR THAT NIGHT. FOR THE FIRST TIME, I COULDN’T HANG WITH THE SOUNDS, PREDICTABLE FASHION AND NIGHTMARISH HORDES OF HIPSTER LURKERS WANDERING AROUND THE CITY. SO YEAH, THAT’S THE DEAL THERE. WE’RE STAYING AT THE ACE HOTEL FOR THIS ONE, AND IT’S NICE AND AIR CONDITIONED. AND THERE YOU HAVE IT. NOW START THE FUCKIN’ SHOW, ALREADY.

WARNING:





<there>WON’T BE</any><fucking>CODE TALK</in this><half-ass>SPEAKING FIASCO</so><deal>WITH</it><goto>CODE SCHMODE</kill me><uh>BEEPBOOPHONK</fart><end>





OUR INTENTIONS:

THIS TALKIS MEANT TO





CLEARTHE AIR





WIN YOUOVER





ANDOFFICIAL PRESENTATION:




DEFY THE FUCKIN’

ODDS





BECAUSE





01. I SHOULDN’T BE UP HERE.02. HAVE NO CREDENTIALS.03. NO PROFESSIONAL ACCOLADES.04. HAVE NEVER WON AN AWARD.05. DON’T HAVE A BOOK TO SELL.YET.06. USUALLY DON’T WEAR PANTS.





HOW WE GOT HERE:FROM BIRTH TO THIS

PODIUM RIGHT HERE.





MICHIGAN

1973

OREGON

1993

ALASKA

1996

19961997

199619971998

1996199719981999

MINNESOTA

1999

BEHINDTHE ORANGE

CURTAIN

2000

20012002

OREGON

2002

FREELANCERIVALING

WORK SALARY

2004

SCIENTIFIC PROOF:PRECISELY 84

LEGITIMATE ITEMSOF BONAFIDEGRAPHIC ARTS





COAL SNOWBOARD 8.5” x 10.8125” (height x width) Questions regarding ad: Questions regarding files:Mikey Leblanc Ad November .125” bleeds on all edges. Brad Scheuffele (206) 632-1601 Aaron J. Draplin (503) 282-3727

Mikey Leblanc in the Harbor.

Proud supporter of

Mark Welsh photo / coalheadwear.com





HOW WE DO IT





TUNINGTIPS

CUZ REMEMBER:

VECTORSARE

FREE!

$$$ VS. 0.00AND WHAT MEANS

THE MOST IN THE END





COBRADOGS

BUDGET: $0.00





INVENTINGYER LIFE

(UNSOLICITED ADVERTISEMENT)





FIELDNOTES





THANK YOU FOR BELIEVING IN

FIELD NOTES

A CHALLENGE FOR YOU:

GET OUT THERE

(AND GET DIRTY)





HANGINGAROUND GUYS

LIKE THIS:





HERO WORSHIP?

OF COURSE, BUT...

PAUL RANDOTL AICHER

LANCE WYMANLESTER BEALL

STEFAN KANCHEVELIOT NOYES

HERB LUBALIN

SAUL BASSMASSIMO VIGNELLI

OTTO NEURATHANDY WARHOLTIBOR KALMAN

MAX HUBERPAUL RENNER

BE SURE TODIG ON

THE UNSUNGHEROES

OF DESIGN

AMPERSANDEPIDEMIC





GET COSMIC

DDC VS. FUTURE INSIGHTS — P.S.A. NO. 01



DDC VS. FUTURE INSIGHTS — P.S.A. NO. 01



WHAT’SNEXT FORTHE DDC





CLINK.

DDC WORLD TOUR 2009-201701. N ISSWA02 . SAVANNAH03 . DALLAS04 . PORTLAND05 . ORLANDO06 . DETROIT07 . MANKATO08 . ANCHORAGE09 . COLUMBIA10 . MAI LCH IMP11 . KANSAS C I TY12 . L INCOLN13 . C LEVELAND14 . DES MOINES15 . M INNEAPOL IS16 . PH I LADELPH IA17 . JACKSONVI L L E18 . SEATT LE19 . LONDON

20. MANCHESTER21 . PHOENIX22 . BEND23 . M INNEAPOL IS24 . DENVER25 . PORTLAND26 . COLUMBIA27 . CHARLESTON28 . OTTAWA29. TORONTO30 . WATERLOO31 . VANCOUVER32 . BURL INGTON33 . SPOKANE34 . LOU ISV I L L E35 . BOSTON HOW36. SOMERV I L L E37 . CALGARY38 . LAS VEGAS

39 . PORTLAND40 . BRAND NEW NYC41 . SALT LAKE C I TY42 . MEMPHIS43 . NASHVI L L E44 . IOWA C I TY45 . CEDAR RAP IDS46 . WATERLOO47 . BROOKLYN48 . BUFFALO49 . PORTLAND50 . CH ICAGO51 . MAI LCH IMP52 . BE L FAST53 . S TOCKHOLM54 . RAP ID C I TY55 . SAN FRANC ISCO56 . SAN JOSE57 . BROOKLYN

58 . GREAT FAL LS59 . SEATT LE60 . SAN ANTONIO61 . HOUSTON62 . AUST IN63 . KETTER ING64 . C INC INNAT I65 . S T. C LOUD66 . M INNEAPOL IS67 . MCAD68 . P I T TSBURGH69 . NEW YORK70 . CHATTANOOGA71 . FORT WAYNE72 . DEKALB73 . OKLAHOMA C I TY74 . YOUR TOWN75. ANYWHERE76 . EVERYWHERE





DDC WORLD TOUR 2009-2017

THE SHOWMUST GO ON





DDC WORLD TOUR 2009-2017





151. CUPERTINO152. SAN FRANCISCO153. STARKVILLE154. TUCSON155. LAS VEGAS156. RALEIGH157. MIAMI158. COLUMBUS159. CLEVELAND

160. SASKATOON161. EDMONTON162. SAN FRANCISCO163. PORTLAND164. ALBANY165. MILWAUKEE166. COLUMBIA167. BOSTON168. COLUMBIA

169. AUGUSTA170. AKRON171. BOISE172. AUSTIN173. RUSTON174. BALTIMORE175. LOS ANGELES176. BERLIN177. LAS VEGAS!

PEOPLE I’VEMET/EYEBALLED

ON TOUR INAIRPORTS AND

WHAT NOT





MARCMARON

CATFISHDUDES

JOEY FROM

CALEXICO

CHIPKIDD

CHRISWARE

JOHNHODGMAN

KIPFROM

NAPOLEON DYNAMITE

GENESIMMONS

RICHARDSIMMONS

THINGSI LOVE





MY FAMILY

NEPHEW OLIVER

SIXMONTHS

AGO

THINGSI HATE





BAD SIGNAGE

THIS IS AQUOTATION MARK

THESE AREPRIME MARKS

STACKED FOOD

AMERICAN NIGHTMARE

1973

THE “1” AND “9” IN BASICALLYEVERY MOVIE TITLE, EVER, AT THEHANDS OF SOME OVERPAID, LAZY BULLSHIT MOVIE TITLE DESIGNER.

THIS GUY

OUR ATTEMPT AT

HIGH NOTECLOSERS

(STUFF THAT SHOULD STICK TO YER RIBS)





WORK HARD

AND LOVE THIS SHIT.

YOU CAN’TTAKE A BAG OF “COOL”

TO THE BANK.

SAY YESMAYBE A LITTLE MORE THAN YOU SAY NO.

DO GOODWORK

FOR GOODPEOPLE

THIS DOES EXIST. REALLY.

TWITTER ANDINSTAGRAM PITCH:

FOLLOW US!@DRAPLIN





BUYSOME

MERCH!

THANK YOUFUTURE LIVE

PEOPLES!





FOR DAD1943-2013

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