Kin 100WFall 2009

Outline

Use a cluster outline Use the outline to develop your

ideas; thoughts; organization of the essay

Trust Yourself

Confidence

Organization of the Essay Introduction statement including a

statement that captures or summarizes the body of the essay

Body of the essay Develop 2-4 ideas related to the issues

(Intellectual, Social, Physical) Summary and Conclusion

Examples of Introduction Statements There are many reasons that a Kinesiology

major is vital to SJSU’s program and I would like to present the two most critical for you to consider.

On behalf of the faculty, staff, and students in the Department of Kinesiology I ask that you reconsider your decision to eliminate Kinesiology as a major.

Kinesiology majors will educate people about healthy active lifestyles; they will aid in prevention and cure injuries.

When to use or not to use capitals Use capitals when it’s a proper name

as in Department of Kinesiology Do not use capitals as in when you

are generally referring to a field such as kinesiology, athletic training, physical therapy….

The occupations of athletic trainers, exercise specialists, and physical educators do not need to be capitalized.

Issues of Agreement

What about having a child with a disability who is not able to have his or her physical needs met at school because nobody is trained to handle their disability.

Be sure to address the reader and inform them that you are aware of the situation.

These athletes are having double, sometimes even triple days and their bodies soon cannot function how it needs to.

When a coach would like to improve an athlete’s swing in baseball, or a spike in volleyball they turn to our biomechanists.

Punctuation

Only use punctuation that you know how to use Period Comma Question Mark Semi-colon Colon Exclamation Point

Selection of Adjectives

Huge Sharp (as in minds)

Attempt to reduce marginalizing of groups

Do not use handicapped people but rather people with disabilities or differently abled …even if we are in a wheelchair or bed

ridden Do not use elderly but rather older adult Do not use elders but rather older

adults Them – who are they?

Don’t make assumptions

Some students pay their own way Physical educators in kinesiology will

provide children and adults with the understanding and value of physical activity in one’s life.

Without kinesiology, our world of people will only get bigger and die a lot faster.

Almost everyone in America has had some sort of experience through sports.

It is obvious how great a role that athletics plays in the university.

Beware of Colloquial Expressions Turn a blind eye Black hole On the road Skyrocketing

Do not use “etc” It adds nothing to the argument in terms

of depth.

To prove

Do not use the verb Things don’t prove other things

Proofread!!!

Beware of Meaningless Ideas This is real depressing to see SJSU’s Kinesiology Department is

known for its different emphases, with each one playing a vital role on moving the major forward and into a new light.

Design a facility like the School of Business, or the School of Nursing.

Use of Effect/Affect

Effect = noun What are the effects of eating on weight

gain? An effect of overeating is an increase in

weight. What do you think about the effect of

carbohydrate intake on weight distribution? Affect = verb

How does eating affect weight gain? Overeating affects weight increases. How does carbohydrate intake affect weight

distribution?

Articles The

Use “the” when you are referring to a specific thing, object, or person. She is the person I was referring to when I was on

the phone the other day. Can you tell me which of the candidates you are

planning to vote for? A (An)

I’m not sure which candidate I will vote for but I know I will vote for a candidate.

A car is necessary if you live outside of NY and there isn’t very good public transportation.

Remove the or a where possible Getting rid of this major will also mean getting

rid of coaches and teachers that are there to inform the students about exercise and how important it is to be active.

----

Don’t use contractions

Don’t Won’t Can’t Shouldn’t It’s

It’s vs Its

It’s Does this read as it is?

Its Is this possessive?

Remove all pronouns

I You He She They We

Passive Writing Styles

Attempt to reduce use of passive structure It is no secret that there is an

overwhelming problem in our society that we, as Americans, are suffering from an obesity problem.

Specificity in writing

This These Those Them They

Incomplete Sentences and Run-on Sentences Whether it be participating or

spectating. Lastly how this information is

affecting our society.