KIN 365: Midterm ReviewHow to Avoid Anger? (4) 1) Be the best you can be 2) never make assumptions Dont get too attached to compliments or criticism b/c we dont know how people actually feel towards you3) never take things personally Something triggers the anger of the person mad at you4) be as good as your word Dont break promisesHow to STOP anger? (7)1) Step back2) Count to 10 gather yourself3) I am triggered4) Recognize it is your ego that is driving the trigger Try to find out whats making you mad and decide if necessary to be mad OR5) Let it go (not easy)6) Respond in peace Tell them that theyr right and agree w/them even if you dont ==? Kill their ego attack maybe tell them youll discuss later 7) Realize that youre just like them What we think about other people, esp. negative aspects, are things we like least about ourselves Realize that youre just like them Anger VS. Upset Emotionally anger is an EGO TRIGGER Physically one owns the anger Psychically anger is an attack When angry tense musculature Showing anger= lack of control your athletes will most likely follow and be like you b/c youre their role model Need to find ways to get rid of triggers

If you are angry Its always an attack against someone or something Anger is always fear based and its always your fault This means you can NEVER BLAME someone else for your anger Its always your CHOICE whether or not to be angry To deny this is to let others control your life your life is out of your control Anger always has, as its trigger, some baggage we are carrying from an earlier time of our life. Usually it is a self-imposed limitation, and when it is exposed, the ego defends itself by going on the attack.The Coaching Experience (9) 1) a position of power (use wisely) Your power can affect others in negative ways 2) create a culture w/your group 3) be cognizant of the importance of communication 4) be aware of energy you bring to the group 5) appreciate the opportunity youve been given 6) care about your athletes More important than having them like you Easiest way to not have favorites 7) help every1 become SELF-LESS Not having a self not having an EGO If you can get rid of ego athletes will put the team first 8) always be conscious when coaching 9) praise praise praise Important for younger athletes The Coaching Philosophy1. Who makes a good coach?2. Essential Characteristics Communicator Knowledgeable Patient Approachable Organized Role model Non-judgmental Caring about the person rather than just as an athlete Consistent Personable What Parents Expect of Sport? 1) to build self esteem 2) have fun 3) develop skills 4) increase fitness 5) making friendsWhat parents expect of coaches? 1) make sport enjoyable 2) respect children as individuals 3) be knowledgable leaders 4) be safety conscious 5) acting in mature manner 6) being fair 7) plan activities effectively Why children participate in sport? 1) To have fun 2) improve skills 3) stay fit 4) participate in activity at which theyll succeed 5) have fun competing others 6) exercise 7) be part of a team 8) compete 9) to learn new abilities 10) to win

Why Children Drop out of Sport?(6) 1) Not getting to play Practiced hard but didnt get to play 2) Negative Reinforcement Too much criticism Never tell anybody what they dont want to do or did wrong 3) Mismatching Safety issues 4) Psychological Stress Too much pressure from coaches, teammates, parents, etc. Too many things are not controllable shouldnt pressure them 5) Failure Losing repeatedly 6) Over Organization No time for fun 3 Different Types of Coaches 1) COMPLIANT No organization doesnt know much about sport Likes to have fun Not a control freak 2) COOPERATIVE Using sport to create better people

3) COMMAND Win at all cost Jst b/c they want to win it all, doesnt mean they fit this criteria Some never think about winning or losing but just want to see team improve and effort (John Wooden)Coaching Philosophy 1) your style of coaching 2) winning vs. personal growth Stance on winning vs. personal growth 3) rules and consequences Are your players going to have some ownership? 4) playing time 5) safety 6) defining roles 7) communication How are you going to communicate w/parents Athletes need feedback 8) integrity of coaching 9) priorities General Communication Skills (10) 1) Use key points (cue words) in explanation Easier to remember 2) KISS principle Lengthy explanations are boring and hard to follow Need to practice presentations until it is concise 3) Always Express Yourself in the Affirmative Always tell your athletes what you WANT THEM TO DO If you tell them what you dont want, they will do the opposite Never show video of your athletes doing things incorrectly 4) Positives in Public, Negatives in Private Dont want to embarrass them in front of peers decr. Confidence 5) Keep Everyone in the Loop Make sure everyone knows what theyre doing at all times Especially with those that dont play that much 6) Thank Your Athletes After PRactice 7) Talk to 3 Athletes Each Practice Keep communication b/w coaching staff and athletes Athletes need it and want it 8) Make Yourself Available Develop deeper connections 9) Ask for Feedback 10) Be prepared Listening Skills (8) 1) Remove Distractions (turn away from others) 2) Look at the speaker 3) React to the speak 4) Take notes if possible 5) Excuse yourself to take notes 6) Be patient 7) Listen and Look for What is Behind the Words 8) Repeat what you have heard in your words Speaking Skills (6) 1) Plan what you are going to say 2) PRACTICE 3) look directly at your listener 4) say exactly what you mean 5) be conscious of your words Keep it short and to the point 6) Ask listener to repeat what they heard Points of Communication w/Parents 1) Your philosophy 2) Expectations of Athletes 3) Emergency Procedures Contact info 4) Finances of the Season Travel commitments 5) What constitutes denial of participation Breaking point where child is not allowed to play 6) Advanced Notification of Schedule Conflicts 7) Feedback and UpdatesSocial Styles Inventory 1) DRIVERS 2) ANALYTICALS 3) EXPRESSIVES 4) AMIABLES AnalyticalDriversExpressivesAmiables

Preferences-Facts and information- to be right

-to control-results - to socialize- recognition and approval- to develop relationships- to be appreciated- need to give a lot of + reinforcement

To accommodate

-talk facts and move slowly so they can absorb it- give them options- talk results and achievement-move quickly -talk big picture and socialize - be upbeat and let them talk-recognize their ideas- talk people issues- use empathetic listening-develop trust and rapport

Weakness-making decisions-listening - have to allow them to be in control &not talk too much -CHECKING &DETAILS- dont bore them w/details and accept their spontaneityINITIATING ACTION-help them feel comfortable in taking action

Back up behavior-- AvoidAVOID-they like to be right and like results-DICTORIAL- dont get too defensive, dont take it personally- want to be in charge of everything-ATTACK- dont argue and dont make them look badGO ALONG W/..-listen to their feelings and re-establish trust- they drop the friendly mode and become a drone

Coaches To Do List Understand your athletes (caring) Set goals (ownership) Define everyones role (communication) Develop pride in subgroups (identification) Use cooperate drill whenever possible Highlight every success (communication )Principled Negotiations 1) Separate the People from the Problem 2) Focus on the interests not the Positions When you take a firm position on something then your ego will become activated cause as soon as that person tries to to disuade you = they start triggering fears in you you dont want to talk about entrenched positions instead look for who is this the best interest for? cannot argue from your own position accepting the possibility that theres something you did not think about 3) Generate a variety of options 4) Insist that the result/solution is based on CRITERIA 5) Start the convo with a vision of how it will end Must want both groups feeling good about what has happened Make sure youre not violating the principles of your coaching philosophyNon Verbal Communication 1) GESTURES 2) Space and proximity 3) Posture Slouching, super erect, the collapse 4) Touch 5) Articulation Speed of your speech If higly anxious speech will speed up If athletes see that= they get worried and stressed Need to just be yourself and have a good pace 6) Silence Can be deafening PSYCHOLOGICAL PUNISHMENT 7) Movement Quickness and direction of your movements 8) Image and Appearance

Principled Negotiation1. Separate the people from the problem2. Focus on the interests, not the positions Generate a list of general assumptions3. Generate a variety of options4. Insist that the result/solution is based on criteria 5. Start the conversation with a vision of how it will end Leadership Theories The Big Event Theory Leaders are born when there are some kind of catastrophy that occurs The hugeness of the event which brings ot leadership qualities The Trait Theory Born w/leadership qualities The ProcessLeadership Theory 1) Must have a vision 2) Pass scrutiny on what you are 3) Have excellent communication skills Athletes need to understand your vision Need to know how they contribute Need to know how they are doing: goals 4) Are responsible 5) Must be trustworthy 4 Actions of World Class Leaders 1) Stretching 2) Empowering 3) Coaching 4) Sharing US Armed Forces Training Manual Seek self improvement Make sound and timey decisions Seek responsibility Be a good role model Look out for your people Keep people informed Develop responsibility Ensure tasks are understood and accomplished Be technically proficientFemales in sport: differences males vs. females The dropout rate for female athletes between 10 & 20 years of age is approx. 90% Females develop the notion that males are superior by age 6 yrs. Threat of osteoporosis cf males is 300% greater at 60 yrs, 600% higher at 70 years Media emphasis on body image.Why Do Females Dropout? Lack of skill (perceived) Lack of confidence Lack of opportunities Lack of support systems Lack of role models Lack of time Peer pressure Lack of awareness of health issues Males VS. Females Females place greater value on what others think than males do EX: males dont like whether other teammates like them they just wanna win Females receive satisfaction from the relationships formed on a team Females see their teammates as friends Male teams can function well even if the members are not friends In general, males play sport for individual reasons and must be appealed to in terms of the individual benefit of hard work Females tend to be motivated by pleasing others, and should be appealed to on the basis of how their work affects the rest of the team Motivating females is tied to the coachs relationship to the athlete. If you do something that negatively impacts that relationship, you will have trouble motivating that athlete. Having positive relationship is good A coach of a male team has to convince them that his/her vision is correct. With female athletes, they are more willing to try the system before judging. Females are much more open and theyll give a coach a chance Loud motivational exhortations by a coach are never encouraged as good coaching, but males will respond to it. Females, however, may interpret this as an attack, and that their relationship with the coach has been affected by their play. This may create a distance between coach and player. Yelling at females can hurt them Males tend to be physically mean, whereas females use words and body language to hurt. Be aware of the Queen Bee and the Wannabees Forms cliques on your team cant allow this Team chemistry is important If 1 is having bad time brings down team as well Females tend to hold grudges longer Females can be motivated showing them how their effort fits with the team Females not motivated by intensity of their coachs personality Male coaches need to understand that females in a group can be very hierarchical and take steps to minimize it Strategies for Female Athletes Ensure successful performance Use positive reinforcement Decrease competition early on in sport participation Increase it gradually Reduce anxiety producing situations Make sure they understand the big picture/expectations Avoid stereotyping activities Present skillful role models EXPECTATIONS: what are the expectations of your athletes (friends and family) in

terms of their behaviour. How will you communicate this philosophy

and how will you enforce it? Put in as much work as possible into every practice and game players need to practice hard against each other if they want each other to improve and become a better TEAM Respect each other no matter their skill level/ whether or not they are a starter or not Come to practice motivated and willing to learn and get better Encourage athletes to not dwell over mistakes but to learn and get better from them Expect athletes to abide reasonable rules

Some of you seem to be under the delusional thinking that the midterm isFriday(tomorrow). The exam isMonday, bring your coaching philosophy to the exam, answer the exam question based on your philosophy and leave the philosophy in the exam to be marked.There have been a lot of questions about ages, level of competition etc, which I believe I have answered at length in class on two occasions, if not more. If you weren't there, well you might remember the discussion about decisions and consequences. Some have said the statements about philosophy are vague. You are correct. They have to be to allow everyone to interpret the philosophy for their sport/situation. I expect you to create a document that clearly defines your belief about playing time, or whatever, and it should be based on your coaching philosophy as a whole. For example, if you say 'I believe in playing starters until they are too tired, or get injured...' then that needs to be substantiated by your belief system: "I will distribute playing time thusly because I believe that the only metric of value in sport is whether or not you have compiled more wins than losses in a season.' So you need to explain, not just your philosophy about 1 of the 3 philosophical cpmponents, but also explain why - for whatever age, level of comp etc.Sorry to bother you, but there was one other thing I wanted to say to you about writing the philosophy. Remember who the audience is. You are writng for athletes, parents or administrators. You are not writing a University paper in Philosophy. Keep it simple and use language that anyone can understand. That will make it easier I hope.