knowing yourself - the dibble institute

lesson 2

KNOWINGYOURSELF

When people know who they are and clearly

understand what they want, they have a much

better chance of discovering how to reach

their own success, happiness and personal

fulfillment in relationships.

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Who Am I?INSTRUCTIONS: Write a response to the statement below. Do you think this statement is true? Why or why not? Give an example that illustrates this quote.

“We don’t see things as they are, we see things as we are.” —AnAïs nin

Have you ever had an idea about a person that was proved wrong once when you learned more information about that person? How did this make you feel? Give an example.

Have you ever asked yourself the question, who am I? What we see in the mirror and the qualities we display are only reflections of who we are to the outside world. Self-knowledge is much deeper than what is visible or displayed. Sometimes what we reflect to the world has little to do with who we truly are.

Knowing who you are (self-awareness) helps define your values, which, in turn, helps you make decisions that are in line with those values. The process of getting to know

yourself happens incrementally and is a lifelong process. Self-discovery is foundational to our personal and professional

success and happiness.

In what ways would knowing oneself help lead someone to professional success and happiness?

When you think about your relationships, what do you think is most important: IQ (your intellectual ability) or EQ (your ability to recognize,

manage and understand emotions)? Explain.

8 • PREPARE | ENRICH | INSPIRE • STUDENT JOURNAL

LESSON 2 • KNOWING YOURSELF • 9

Reflections or Descriptions?Write words on the mirror at the right that accurately describe who you are. As you write, think about these questions: Who am I? What do I like and dislike? How would I describe the real me?

Write your thoughts about these questions:

? What do I want to reflect about myself to those around me?

? Is there something about the way I reflect myself that may not be an accurate description of the real me?

Write some of the comments your classmates made about you. Then answer the questions below:

? What made it easy or hard to write comments about my peers?

? Do the responses from my peers reflect the way I think of myself? Explain.

? Did I receive any comments that I feel do not accurately describe who I know myself to be? Which ones? If so, can I understand how a person may perceive this about me based on what I display? Explain.

? Can I imagine how a person’s perception of me could be influenced by their own life experiences? Give an example.

? How can knowing that reflections of myself may not always be accurate, help me in future relationships?

My PersonalityDo you think the following statement is true? Why or why not? Give an example that illustrates this quote.

“We attract hearts by the characteristics we display; we retain hearts by the characteristics we possess.” —JeAN BAPTISTe ANTOINe SUARD

Have you ever asked someone to describe you? What did she or he say? He or she probably described you based on your personality. Your personality is the combination of personal and behavioral traits: being funny or being tall. If you were asked to describe yourself, what would you say? Your answer is your self-concept or the mental picture you have of yourself. Both your personality and self-concept will affect the relationships you develop in your life.

When you think of your own personality, what one word comes to mind first?

Have you ever heard the saying, “I am who I think I am!” Do you think it is possible to changehow you see yourself by changing the way you think? Explain.

AM I IntRoveRteD oR extRoveRteD?

yes or no Do you like to socialize? Do you know all the gossip and everything that is going on in the company?yes or no Do you tend to be friendly, outgoing, the center of your circle of friends? yes or no After a long day at school, are you ready to hang out with friends?

oR…yes or no Do you draw your energy from a rich inner world of thoughts, images, and feelings? yes or no Do you prefer to spend time alone or with one or two other people rather than with a group? yes or no Do you usually think before you speak? yes or no After a long day at school, do you prefer to head home and regroup?

If you answered yes on the first three questions, then you are most likely extroverted. If you answered yes on questions 4-7, then you are most likely introverted.Give an example of how being introverted or extroverted could affect relationships.

Knowing who you are will help you feel that you have worth and value in this world. When you can accept yourself for who you are, it will be easier for others to accept you, too. Learning about yourself can help you develop lasting relationships with others as well as help you make choices that will direct your life in the path you want to go.


Influences on your DecisionsComplete the following sentences and then give examples of peer pressure you see in your school.

Peer pressure is positive when…

Peer pressure is negative when….

Examples of peer pressure:

Adolescence or young adulthood is generally the time when you develop a sense of independence and begin choosing your own values and beliefs about a variety of different issues. You don’t make decisions about your life in a vacuum. Family, friends, classmates, and our own desires all affect the choices you make. Parental expectations, peer pressure, and self-image all influence the choices you make, too.

? What is a recent decision you made independently? How did it feel to make this decision on your own?

Parental expectationsWhile you are growing up in your family you become aware of what your parents and other family members expect from you. You may not always be consciously aware of these expectations because they become so much a part of your value system. Family expectations often have a positive influence, but if parental expectations are too strict or inflexible, a young person might rebel.

? Are your expectations for yourself different than your parents’ expectations for you?

? List three expectations you think your parents have of you.

? As a teen, whose advice do you follow the most: parents or friends? Why?

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Influences on DecIsIons:

Peer PressurePeer pressure—the need to be accepted by people in your age group—is significant at any age. Children, teens, and even adults commonly do what their peers are doing. Peer pressure can lead us to do things we might otherwise not do in order to gain acceptance and approval from others. We like to believe our choices are not influenced by others but, as human beings, we are social in nature.

Imagine that you are the only human being on Earth. Would you still do the things you do if you weren’t sharing time and space with other human beings?

Influences on DecIsIons:

self-ImageWhy do you think teens with lower self-image are more prone to negative peer pressure?

Self-image, or how you think about yourself, is developed and reinforced by how others treat you and react to you. Often, the way we respond to peer pressure has a lot to do with our self-image. When someone is comfortable with his or her self, it is often easier to do the right thing. Research has shown that when teenagers have a poor self-image, they are more vulnerable to negative peer pressure and more prone to risky behavior.



values and BeliefsYou walk home alone through a store parking lot. You look down and find a wallet. Inside the wallet is $1,000…and no credit cards, no driver’s license, nothing. Just the cash. There is nobody in sight. What would you do?

Would your answer change if there were an ID inside the wallet?

What if someone were watching?

What is the connection between decisions you make and your values?

Learning about values and beliefs can help you understand who you are and help you to develop relationships with others. A value is something that is important to you. A belief is something that you hold to be true. Value refers to the worth or importance you assign to a certain belief, activity, or event. Our actions and behaviors often express our values and goals. Similarly, our beliefs and values often determine our behaviors. People usually act in ways that are consistent with their values.

If your home suddenly caught on fire, what is the one thing you would take with you?

values and Decision-MakingINSTRUCTIONS: Respond to the following prompt:

Sometimes adolescents don’t behave according to their values because...

Your values help you decide what to do and how to act. Values come into play prominently when you are making decisions. Choosing to be conscious co-creators of our lives means, in part, knowing our values and making decisions in line with those values. As the saying goes, “How we spend our days is how we spend our lives.” Every decision we make determines the direction of our lives.

If your life were defined by the way you spent your last few days, how would you feel about your life?

What influences people to behave in ways that are inconsistent with their val-ues? Give an example.

Will your values change or remain the same as you get older? Why?

If your values don’t support your behaviors, should you take another look at your values, your behaviors, or both?


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