kol hadash november/december 2010

At the age of 13, according to the Talmud, boys are obligated to fulfill the commandments. Later,this obligation was determined to commence at the age of 12 plus one day for girls. At BJ we areegalitarian, and it is “equal opportunity for all” at 13.

The tradition of the bar mitzvah came much later in Jewish history. We know that none of ourbiblical characters had a bar/bat mitzvah, and it is not clear what really happened during theTalmudic times. The earliest record of a bar mitzvah is in the 15th century and of a bat mitzvah inthe 19th.

One thing is certain: In the past, at the age of 13, boys were seen as mature enough to take onthe responsibilities of adulthood. The gap between childhood and maturity that we have todaycalled adolescence, and later “young adulthood,” did not exist.

Our children are not adults at the age of 13, not even close. They barely understand the heavyweight of the word “responsibility.” Are they going to pay taxes soon? Get married? Havechildren? They are not even ready to go to college. They are children who are thrown into amomentous rite of passage. There is the major challenge of learning to chant their parasha andto reflect on it in the D’var Torah. We also encourage families to engage in a Mitzvah project.Unless we understand and transmit to them the depth and the beauty of the bar/bat mitzvah, itbecomes just a mega birthday celebration.

Our children are not adults at 13, but our tradition says to us: I don’t know when you are going tobecome an adult, but I know that this is the beginning of the process of becoming. As such, thebar/bat mitzvah ritual is an incredible and magical rite where the community witnesses, in a truedrama, the emergence of a nascent adult. This rite of passage is as meaningful as we make it.The process leading toward the bar mitzvah is what matters (even if sometimes we have to dragour kids).

We have sent the child to the ancient text to hunt for ideas and meaning, and the child has nowreturned, heroically, with her/his D’var Torah and the chanting of the sacred text. Then, scarily,

(continued on page 6)

The Bar/Bat Mitzvah Drama RABBI MARCELO R. BRONSTEIN

KOL HADASH

asj kuenew voIce.

inside: The Bar/Bat Mitzvah IssueA Family Tree Grows at BJ.. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .4

Personal Moments in a Family’s Bar Mitzvah Journey .. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .5

Arlene Brandon: BJ’s B’nai Mitzvah Maven.. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .6

The Path to the Bimah .. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .8

My Bat Mitzvah: Not Just One Day .. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .9

B’nai Mitzvah Projects Online.. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .10

Social Action/Social Justice . . . . . . . .2

Limud . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .3

Member Spotlight . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .3

Bar/Bat Mitzvah Journey . . . . . . . . . .4

Staff Profile . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .6

Announcements . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .7

Youth & Family Education . . . . . . . .8-9

Communications . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .10

Donations . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .10

Contacts . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .12

See pages 4-10 for more images of the bar/batmitzvah journey at BJ.

6th Grade Tefillin Workshop

NOVEMBER/DECEMBER 2010 • HESHVAN/KISLEV/TEVET 5771

“ ... The bar/bat mitzvahritual is an incredible andmagical rite where thecommunity witnesses, in atrue drama, the emergenceof a nascent adult. ”

SYNAGOGUE: 257 W. 88th St. • OFFICE: 2109 Broadway (Ansonia), Suite 203, New York, NY 10023 • TEL: 212.787.7600 • FAX: 212.496.7600 • WEBSITE: www.bj.org

PHOTO: IVY SCHREIBER

new voIce • NOVEMBER/DECEMBER 2010

2

hat do a retired florist, an artteacher, and a cookbook authorhave in common?

A passion for providing food for Upper WestSide Community members in need of ameal, and building community within BJ.

The Judith Bernstein Lunch Program,named in loving memory of a BJ memberwho was tragically killed on Pan Am Flight103, has been an ongoing program for 18years. Created by Rabbi Marshall Meyer anda small group of congregants in 1986, it

began with the distribution of brown-baglunches. Today, we serve a nutritious sit-down meal to an average of 150 guests. Ourguests represent a diverse cross-section ofNew York City’s population. We welcomefamilies with children, homeless men andwomen, seniors unable to cook forthemselves, and members of the workingpoor—regardless of age, gender, religion,ethnicity, or background. We collaboratewith many local organizations like CityHarvest, the Jewish Board of Children andFamily Services, and the West Side

Campaign Against Hunger. Additionally,Doug Leblang (sometime accompanied) fillsFrankel Hall with classic show tunes andYiddish favorites. “We are the only soupkitchen in the city where native Spanishspeakers know all of the words to ‘HavaNagila,’ ” jokes program co-chair SusanSamuels.

Every step of preparing the lunch meal, fromordering supplies to washing the pots, isdevotedly fulfilled by volunteers from ourcommunity.

Robin Tunick has beenwith the lunchprogram for almost sixyears. In addition tovolunteering with BJ,she also helps to runthe soup kitchen withthe National Councilfor Jewish Women andteaches an art class atthe Jewish Guild forthe Blind. What doesshe find meaningfulabout volunteering atBJ? “The guests arewonderful, thevolunteers arewonderful, and it’s agood, nutritious mealthat we serve. All thefood groups arerepresented, plusdessert. And having

the CSA extras this summer has reallyincreased our guests’ access to fresh,organic produce. It’s a very rewardingexperience.”

When Susan Samuels retired from her floraldesign business after 23 years, she waslooking to meet people at BJ. Susanparticularly wanted to focus on makingvolunteers feel welcome and creatingcommunity. Today, she is incredibly proud ofhow far the program has come: “BJ is ourhome, and we treat our guests as such.Most volunteers have established a rapport

with several different regular guests, whichhas led to their greater understanding thatour guests don’t just need a tuna fishsandwich. Rather, they have an opportunityto listen to their stories and gain perspectiveof the complicated systems in which theyexist. I feel lucky to be able to serve on theboard of the West Side Campaign AgainstHunger and continue to gain a largerunderstanding of hunger issues at a city,state, and national levels. It all confirms howimportant our program is in the context oflarger hunger issues.”

The creative and extensive menu is preparedby a dedicated team of volunteer sous chefseach Wednesday night, led by our very ownchef, Carol Gelles. Among her sevenpublished cookbooks is 1,000 VegetarianRecipes, which earned her both a Julia Childand James Beard award. So, why does thisaward-winning chef come to cook at BJ?“How could I not come?” she says. “It is thehighlight of my week! There is a beautifulcamaraderie among the volunteers, and bythe end of the evening I feel like we havereally accomplished something. We leavetired, sweaty, and happy.”

The lunch program, like other BJ SocialAction/Social Justice direct serviceprograms, welcomes b’nai mitzvah studentsto become involved in a volunteer project.More information about setting this up willbe available at the Youth and Family MitzvahFair (see page 9).

If you are interested in learning more aboutthe Judith Bernstein Lunch Program, pleasecontact Susan Samuels [email protected] or Ariel Schneider [email protected]. n

— Ariel Schneider

KOL HADASH.SOCIAL ACTION/SOCIAL JUSTICE


Camaraderie in the Campaign Against Hunger

w

From left, Susan Samuels and Robin Tunick

“We welcome families withchildren, homeless men andwomen, seniors unable to cookfor themselves, and members ofthe working poor—regardless ofage, gender, religion, ethnicity,or background.”

PHOTO: CHANNA CAMINS

HESHVAN/KISLEV/TEVET 5771 • new voIceasj kue

3

wo hundred participants. Eightdynamic themes. Intimateconversations in living rooms

around town. Delicious snacks. What doesthat add up to? During the 2009-10 season,Rabbi Marcelo Bronstein facilitated eightBeit Midrash Salons instead of teachingtraditional Limud classes. His reflections onthese Salons appeared midway through theyear, in the December Kol Hadash.

Members who attended the Salons reflectedabout how much they enjoyed gathering insmall groups, getting to know their fellow

congregants through meaningfulconversation.

Sparked by the enthusiasm of the first Salonseries, this year the community can lookforward to Marcelo’s Salons, which willfocus on Israel. Featuring documentariesand films from Israel, these sessions willstimulate conversations about the Jewishhomeland. Each of the six salons will focuson Israel in new and unexpected ways. Weinvite you to learn more about the salons byvisiting the special section of the BJwebsite, where you’ll read comments from

past participants and learn about the targetaudiences for each salon series. To registerfor the salons, contact Naomi Goodhart [email protected]. n

— Belinda Lasky


The World Through the Lens of Salons

t

hen I tell people I work as ahospital chaplain, often the firsttwo questions they ask me are

“Have you converted?” and “How do youintroduce yourself?” Eventually people askmore experiential questions about thesubstance and the work of chaplaincy itself,but first it’s usually about how I identifymyself. Identity is a tricky thing in general,and working with identity is a big part ofClinical Pastoral Education, the trainingprocess for becoming a chaplain. I am a layJewish woman with a Reform andConservative background, trained andworking as a multi-faith chaplain in ahospital with diversity reflective of New YorkCity. Add to that the public’s impression thatchaplains are mostly Christian and there isa lot going on before I even cross thethreshold to see a patient!

A few starts:A. Good morning, my name is Linda. I amthe chaplain on this unit, and I am comingby to say hello and see how you are today.May I come in?B. Buenos dias! Mi nombre es Linda y estoyuna pastora para este seccion y vengo digarhola.C. Hello, my name is Linda Golding, and Iam a chaplain here ….D. Hi, my name is Linda and I am a chaplain

on this unit. What a great view you havehere. May I admire it with you?

And a few responses:1. (Mild look of surprise.) Uh, sure. Come in.2. Well, my priest has already been here.3. All prayers welcome.4. No thanks, I’m Jewish.5. Si, si, como no?6. I’m not religious.

The introduction can be crucial—it is thefew seconds during which a patient sensesif I can be trusted, and it is the beginning ofmy assessment of the patient’s concernsand needs, expressed as well as observed. Ibring my Jewish identity to every patientencounter, but it is an identity supported bythe multifaith training and perspective.

The introduction is the doorway to a sharedspiritual journey. Once each of us putssomething into the center of the room,creating an overlapping space in which weboth stand, we are not strangers. We aresurrounded and lifted up by the spirit thatanimates each of us, the spirit thatultimately knows no differences, nodenomination. n

— Linda Golding

Linda Golding recently left the classical musicindustry to train and work as an multifaithChaplain at New York-Presbyterian Hospitaland attends the Graduate School of JewishTheological Seminary, where she is acandidate for a Masters Degree. She lives inManhattan with her spouse, DianeWondisford, and has been a member of BJsince 2002.

The Chaplain is at the Door

w

LIMUD

MEMBER SPOTLIGHT

Tiberius from Galilee, Israel

hile our son Gabe undertook amajor journey of discoverypreparing for his bar mitzvah, I

made an important and surprising discoveryof my own. I related the following storyabout our shared journey at our son’sbar mitzvah celebration at BJ on June12, 2010.

I grew up among a very small group ofrelatives, my grandmother (on mymother’s side), my father, my mother, andmy sister. My father was estranged from hisfamily for reasons I never understood. Mymother was an only child, whose father diedbefore I was born and whose mother wassomewhat of a recluse. So, I never knewany of my other relatives or ancestors. Allof these people died before our son, Gabe,was born.

The only other knowledge I have of myancestors comes from a yellowed family

tree from an anniversary party in 1915,almost a century ago, one of whosebranches ends with my grandmother beingborn.

I also grew up without much of a connectionto Judaism, both by upbringing and bychoice. I never saw my grandmother attendsynagogue. My parents were members of avery Reform temple where I was confirmed(not bar mitzvah’d), and I haven’t set foot inthat building in almost 40 years since.

I had never even heard of B’nai Jeshurununtil I met Marj. We joined when we gotmarried in 1994. Attending synagogue was,and still is, a command performance for me.

Yet both Marj and I recallthat when mygrandmother heard thatMarj attended services atBJ, she mentioned thatsome of our ancestors hadbeen active members inthe BJ community duringits heyday around the turnof the century.

When we were selectingthe location of Gabe’s barmitzvah, the one thing Iwas sure about was that Iwanted to have it in theminha service so we couldbe in the beautifulsanctuary and home of theBJ community since 1918.I now realize thatsomething else may havemoved me …

Earlier this year, whilestanding in the sanctuary,Marj noticed the namesBertha Bauman, HymanBauman, and David

Bauman on one of the stained-glasswindows and remarked that the namessounded familiar. When we got home andlooked at the old family tree, we discoveredit was The Bauman Family Tree, and thatthose four people were my great, great,great aunts and uncles. Later, during Gabe’sfinal run-through with Ari, we noticedanother window with the names Louis andRicka Bauman, and found, again on thefamily tree, that they were my great, great,great grandparents, Gabe and our daughterRebecca’s great, great, great, greatgrandparents. Further research uncoveredLouis Bauman’s obituary, from which Ilearned that he was the president of BJwhen he died in 1922. His funeral was heldin the same 88th Street sanctuary where ourson was called to the Torah on June 12th!

So, although Gabe did not grow up knowingany of my ancestors, we discovered thatmany of them were actually present, in away, for his bar mitzvah and that he has aconnection to Judaism and BJ way beyondmy own.

I made another discovery during the many-year process of becoming a bar mitzvah thatGabe fully committed himself to andembraced. From Gabe, whose growth duringthis period has amazed me, I have learnedthe value of these traditions and theimportance of this connection to ourcommunity and history. n

— Richard Fields

Richard Fields is the husband of Margie (Marj)Vandow and the father of Gabe and RebeccaFields. Richard and Marj have been membersof BJ since 1994.

4

BAR/BAT MITZVAH JOURNEY

A Family Tree Grows at BJ

w


new voIce • NOVEMBER/DECEMBER 2010KOL HADASH.

“So, although Gabe did not growup knowing any of my ancestors,we discovered that many of themwere actually present, in a way,for his bar mitzvah ...”

PHOTO: DENISE WAXMAN


5

t the outset of our son Gabe’s barmitzvah preparation, Rabbi Feliciaadvised us that the essence of this

milestone is about a child taking his or herplace in the congregation as an individual,with thoughts and ideas that count. This ideawas the touchstone that guided us duringthe planning process and ultimately led toGabe’s choice, despite a reservedpersonality, to stand before his congregationon the day he became a bar mitzvah ratherthan doing it in Israel, as we had beenplanning.

Ari managed the delicate balance betweenasking for more from our son, yet notoverwhelming him. He zeroed in on Gabe’sshyness and coached him on how to projecthis voice, recommending additional practicewith cantorial intern, Shira Wallach. What agift all of that training was! It gave Gabe theconfidence to stand up and chant Torahclearly and crisply on his big day, despite hisnewly installed upper braces and dreadedpalate expander.

Rabbi Marcelo motivated our son to studyhis parasha closely and consider its deepermeaning by emphasizing that Gabe’sthoughts and ideas count and that thecongregation would be poised to listen. Gabe

inspired us by seriously delving into themeaning of the rituals of the red heifer anddelivering a d’var Torah that compared thoserituals to the sacrifices that BJ membersmake to maintain the shelter and the lunchprogram. I was moved that the smallamount of time we had devoted to theseinitiatives had made such an impression.

Gabe’s “dress rehearsal” with Ari stood outas truly magical. In our gorgeous sanctuarywith Ari we watched our son on the bimahfor the first time reading from the Torahscroll, yad in hand. Ari was quietlysupportive as he encouraged Gabe to fill thesanctuary with his voice. He attended toeach and every detail: the exactchoreography of the service, the weight ofthe silver on the Torah scroll that Gabewould be carrying, and how to properly use

the microphone. Heencouraged Gabe topractice as many timesas he needed using theactual Torah in order tofeel completelycomfortable, as if hehad all the time in theworld, though we ofcourse knewotherwise. My husbandand I marveled at howtender Ari was eventhough he goesthrough this processmost weeks withdifferent b’nai mitzvah

children. As I watched Ari teach my son howto don his new tallit, practicing both therecitation of the blessing and how to fold it inhalf the long way so that it wouldn’t slide offof his shoulders, the intimacy of themoment brought tears to my eyes.

There was a like intimacy in the work thatGabe did with Marcelo and Felicia whichgave him a deep sense of belonging to BJ.What our rabbis, cantor, and synagoguestaff accomplish week after week, withkivun and impeccable planning is trulyremarkable. The roadmap we were giventhree years before was followed to the T,even to the preparatory meetings with Ariand Marcelo that started right on time.

I have concluded that youngsters at this ageare not only developmentally ready for thischallenge, but that reaching for andaccomplishing such a high goal augmentstheir growth and boosts their confidence toshare their ideas and opinions in the greaterworld. Going through the process alsohelped me understand how continuing thistradition in our family contributes to keepingour religion alive. We’ll be starting the wholecycle again in just a few months with ourdaughter Rebecca! n

— Margie Vandow

Margie Vandow is married to Richard Fieldsand the mother of Gabe and Rebecca Fields.The family have been members of BJ since1994. Gabe Fields was called to the Torah forhis bar mitzvah at a community minha serviceon June 12, 2010.

a

Personal Moments in a Family's Bar Mitzvah Journey



PHOTO: DYANA VAN CAMPEN PHOTOGRAPHY

PHOTO: DYANA VAN CAMPEN PHOTOGRAPHY

“What a gift all of that trainingwas! It gave Gabe the confidenceto stand up and chant Torahclearly and crisply on his big day ... ”


6 SYNAGOGUE: 257 W. 88th St. • OFFICE: 2109 Broadway (Ansonia), Suite 203, New York, NY 10023 • TEL: 212.787.7600 • FAX: 212.496.7600 • WEBSITE: www.bj.org

STAFF PROFILE

emember your bar or bat mitzvah?Good times, right? Goodmemories. For you it meant a party

and presents, with a little haftarah mixed in.What you may not have been aware of isthat your parents were probably goingquietly crazy at about the same time.There’s a lot for parents to do, a milliondetails, big and small, when planning sucha momentous event for their child.

When BJ parents take a deep breath andturn their attention to their kids’ b’naimitzvah celebrations, they are fortunate tohave a formidable ally—organized,informed, patient—in Arlene Brandon.

Arlene’s been working at BJ in somecapacity or other since 1993, when she firsttook a full time job as the assistant to theexecutive director. So indispensable did sheprove to be for our community that she evenfilled in as ED during periods of transition,while still doing her director ofadministration duties. In 2000, she decidedto retire and did. Her retirement lastedexactly two weeks: She proposed a newposition to Deborah Pinsky, and Deborahpromptly advised her to take the new jobherself. So, Arlene was back, after almostnever having been away, coordinating spacerentals and b’nai mitzvah events.

In retrospect, this job dovetails perfectlywith skills and interests Arlene had spent a

lifetime developing. After getting undergradand graduate degrees from BrooklynCollege, she taught young children until shemarried and started a family. Later, whenher own kids were in school and she beganthinking about being in the workplaceagain, she became a paralegal. She workedin the law field for some time until shebecame aware of BJ and applied for theexecutive assistant job.

On the subject of BJ, Arlene allows a touchof the rhapsodic to color her otherwiseresolutely calm and capable demeanor. Shetalks of attending Yom Kippur services atSPSA one year when the crowds were sooverwhelming that she and her husbandhad to stand in the foyer and just listen tomost of the service. “Looking at thepeople,” she recalls, with a light in her eyes,“they weren’t all dressed up; I loved it.People were coming to pray. And they were;I heard all these people, not just the rabbisand Ari. The congregation was singing andpraying.” She was hooked.

She loves dealing with the bar mitzvah andbat mitzvah kids’ families. She enjoysinforming and advising the sometimesharried and nervous parents, answeringmyriad questions, coordinating meetingswith rabbis, rolling with frequent schedulingpunches, and explaining the rules aboutwhat can and can’t be done at thecelebrations. More than anything, she really

is a rock forthese momsand dads. “I tryto keep themcalm so theyare focusing onthe joy of theevent,” she says. Just getting all the kids onthe b’nai mitzvah calendar presents achallenge sometimes, even with a three-year lead-in time. Space is limited, and asshe says, “Everyone wants to have theircelebration at BJ because they love thespace and love the community.”

When I ask her about pastimes and hobbies,she promptly says: “I have agranddaughter.” After a minute she adds, “… and I tango.” A lifelong dancer, she tookup tango several years ago and fulfilled adream of celebrating her 70th birthday inBuenos Aires bailando, dancing. She listsher interests definitively in this order.Granddaughter; tango; gardening.

She says, of being so involved in a religiouscommunity now, “I went to college at a timewhen it was very smart to badmouthreligion. I was Zionist, but the religious partof it … we didn’t go near it. My kids had noJewish schooling,” she says. Then shesmiles. “But now I have a fund alreadystarted for my granddaughter’s HebrewSchool education.” n

— Sian Gibby

Arlene Brandon: BJ’s B’nai Mitzvah Maven

r

they stand before the community,confronting all these faces and having tosay something coherent and meaningful, toprove themselves. They succeed, and thecommunity welcomes this child into theworld of adults by telling them: “From nowon, you count. If there are nine Jews andone of them has to say kaddish yourpresence transforms that group into akehillah, a community. You count and yourideas count!”

To know that we count is one of the mostimportant certainties of our existence.

Shabbat after Shabbat the bar and batmitzvah stand in front of the community andexperience the culmination of a personaldrama. Those in our community who attendservices at BJ and listen to our childrenchanting Torah and sharing theirinterpretation of the texts (and who maysometimes feel that they would like to havean adults-only service) should know themitzvah you are doing by being there and bylistening attentively.

To say “I am a bar/bat mitzvah” is to beempowered, to be trusted with the wisdomof the Jewish people. We say to our

children: “Now this is yours, this tradition;these values are there to help you and to beyour moral compass through life.” Althoughthey are not yet adults, the bar/bat mitzvahreally happens when they begin to realizethat we human beings are, in greatmeasure, the architects of our own livesand that we need the wisdom of the Torah,Shabbat, our traditions, and celebrations tobecome the best that we can be.

This ritual drama is one that makes ourkids stronger and healthier and ourcommunity more loving and inclusive. n

The Bar/Bat Mitzvah Drama RABBI MARCELO R. BRONSTEIN continued from page 1


7

ANNOUNCEMENTS

To the following members and their families on their b’nai mitzvah (September and October):

Joshua Verbitsky

Charles Weinshank

Lita Pena

Kate Kesselman

Matthew Kesselman

Hanna Shykind

Nicolas Miller

Adam Nacht

Rachel Rosenblatt

Tsvia Laurence

Tamzen Naegele

David Sanyour

Daniel Golden

Sasha Chanko

Ronen Schatsky

Samuel Schiff

Jonah Greenberg

Mazal Tov Condolences (through October 1)

To the following members and their families (through October 1):

Alexandra Ackerman and David Thomas Stern on their recent wedding.

Harriet and Marc Suvall on the engagement of their daughter, CaraHillary Suvall, to Joseph Peretz Fishman.

Max Orenstein and Sarah Goodis on their recent engagement.

Marie Sevy on the birth of her granddaughter, Harper Claire Neville.

Linda Golding and Diane Wondisford on their recent wedding.

Sara Meyer and Danny Loya on their recent engagement.

BJ Rabbinic Fellow Jason Fruithandler and his wife Jessie on the birthof their daughter, Liba Shifra.

Barbara Schwimmer on the birth of her granddaughter, Ruby Allison.

Associate Director of Development Erzsébet Ragyina and Sanjay Aroraon their recent wedding.

The community of B’nai Jeshurun mourns the death of our belovedmember Shelley L. Bernard and extends sincere condolences to herfamily and all her loved ones.

The community of B’nai Jeshurun mourns the death of our belovedmember Gittel Silverberg and extends sincere condolences to herhusband, Mervin Silverberg, her daughter, Lori Silverberg and theirentire family.

The community of B’nai Jeshurun mourns the death of our belovedmember Jack Fried and extends sincere condolences to his wife, AnneFried, his son and daughter-in-law, Adam Fried and Barbara Leitermanand their entire family.

The community of B’nai Jeshurun mourns the death of our belovedmember Morty Levine and extends sincere condolences to his wife,Bernice Levine and their entire family.

The community of B’nai Jeshurun extends sincere condolences to thefollowing members and their families:

Rhonda, Robert and Felicia Kuhnreich on the death of their belovedfather, father-in-law, and grandfather, Saul Mitron.

Samuel, Ellen, Eliza and Madeline Bender on the death of their belovedmother, mother-in-law and grandmother, Eileen T. Bender.

Nancy, Ellen and David Greenblatt, Margo Ohana and their entire family,on the death of their beloved brother and uncle, Warren S. Wolkenberg.

Anne Landsman and James, Adam and Tess Wagman on the death oftheir beloved mother, mother-in-law and grandmother, Ruth Landsman.

Meryl Zegarek on the death of her beloved father, Morris Zegarek.

Steven, Kristen and Eliana Nitsberg on the death of Steven’s belovedgrandmother, Ruth Schwartz.

Steven, Andrew and Michael Sklar and Amy Wallace on the death ofSteven's beloved mother, Martha Sklar.

Marvin Israelow and Dorian Goldman on the death of Marvin's belovedmother, Ruth Israelow.

Larry, Susan, Emily, Jason and Amy Chinitz on the death of their belovedmother, mother-in-law and grandmother, Jenny Chinitz.

Ellyn Rabinowitz and Richard Sussman, and their entire family on thedeath of Ellyn's beloved father, Joseph Rabinowitz.

Vivian and David Port and Stephen and Hazel Shulman on the death ofVivian and Stephen's aunt and uncle, Bess Spiro and Sid Gottler.

Victoria Schonfeld and Victor, Jared and Rumyana Friedman on the deathof Vicki's beloved father, Sidney Schonfeld.

)



8

YOUTH & FAMILY EDUCATION

t is that moment: standing at thebimah, Rabbi at your side, parentsbeaming with pride, surrounded

by friends and family who have come to hearyou chant the Hebrew words you haverepeated endlessly for the past six monthsand to learn from the wise teaching you willdeliver in your d’var Torah. It seems as ifeverything has pointed to thistransformative moment. Yet what you cometo realize is that the path to this place iswhat has been so transformative.

At the Sixth Grade Retreat this past spring,I found myself surrounded by a livelyconversation about how the mitzvah of lota’amod al dam al re’eha (not standing idlyby the blood of others) applied to standingup against bullies. What I initially thoughtwould be an abstract discussion turned outto be one of the most relevant in these pre-teens’ lives. This is just one example of themany experiences over the course of fouryears that lead to the making of b’naimitzvah at BJ.

Each spring the process begins; fourth-grade students and their families gather,acknowledging the importance of the life-cycle journey on which they are embarking,and learning what Torah portion they willread three years later. Parents carefullyunroll the entire Torah in a large circle withthe students inside where they search forthe Torah portion they will read three yearslater. They are literally embraced with thewords of Torah as they begin this journeytogether.

During this journey, students and familieslearn together during Shabbat morningprograms, continuing to unroll the Torahand its teachings until they realize they willeventually share a teaching with thecommunity. Tutors work with students toprepare them not only to chant their Torahand haftarah portions, but to also give ad’var Torah. Tutor Cara Kantrowitzdescribes this experience,

Having the opportunity to work one-on-one with students preparing for theirb’nai mitzvah is such a treat. Throughoutthe process of teaching the trop as wellas Torah and haftarah portions, we get towatch these young minds acquire a new

skill that they can continue usingthroughout their adult Jewishlives. Studying Torah together andhearing the ideas they develop in order towrite their divrei Torah is also ameaningful and enlightening processthat I love to be a part of.

They participate in individual and communalprayer opportunities. Junior Congregationgives students the chance to lead prayersbefore their peers and engage with themorning and Torah service to gainunderstanding. At Hebrew School andduring retreats students can literally “tryon” ways to connect to prayer, learning howto wrap tefillin and wear a tallit. Each spring

Rabbi Roly Matalon leads a workshop withSixth graders about the meaning of tefillinand how one puts it on each morning. In hisown words:

I try to awaken in the students an interestand a sense of reverence for this ritualpracticed through the generations. Iexamine with them the function ofdifferent pieces of technology that arepart of their lives, such as their cellphones and iPods, and show them howtefillin are a piece of “spiritualtechnology” designed to bring us intocontact with our spiritual longings andaspirations, our Jewish identity, and God.

“We want to give students multiplegateways to connect to the b’nai mitzvahjourney.” Ivy Schreiber, director ofeducation, explains.

Over the years the students engage in manyconversations about mitzvot and think abouthow they can to give back to the world in away that fits their passion. In November theMitzvah Fair introduces students to BJ’sSocial Action/Social Justice activitiesincluding BJ Reads, the Judith BernsteinLunch Program, and the AIDS walk as wellas to outside Jewish organizations thatstudents can work with. BJ would like allbar and bat mitzvah students to learn howto “pray with their feet,” as Rabbi AbrahamJoshua Heschel said.

These years are filled with many magicalmoments that help students and familiesaffirm and develop their Jewish identities.The process of becoming a b’nai mitzvah isin fact a journey that models that of a fullJewish life. The three pillars on whichbecoming b’nai mitzvah is based—Torah(study), Avodah (prayer), and GemilutHasadim (action)—will be present in theirlives as they continue to learn and grow intheir Jewish practice, and just as they grewthroughout the transformative bar/batmitzvah preparation. n

— Emily Walsh

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The Path to the Bimah



“Each spring the process begins;fourth-grade students and theirfamilies gather, acknowledging theimportance of the life-cycle journeyon which they are embarking, andlearning what Torah portion theywill read three years later. ”

Above: Tutor Zach Fredman works with HannaShykind. Right: At the Sixth Grade Retreat.

PHOTO: BEN SHYKIND

PHOTO: LEORA FRANKEL

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grew up in a Jewish home, so Ialways knew a bat mitzvah wascoming to get me. Ever since I was

little, I’ve been going to BJ children’sservices, Junior Congregation, and, as myparents called it when I was little, the“grown-up services.” Later, I pushed myway through years of Hebrew School, wherewe learned about the Jewish life cycle aswell as many prayers. I had never reallythought much about my bat mitzvah when Iwas little, even though I remember going tothe fun, late-night parties of my oldercousins who had them. While I went to whatseemed like thousands of thesecelebrations, the only thing I really learnedwas that sitting through the service quietlywould mean cookies were waiting for youwhen it was over.

Later, when I was about 10, going to JuniorCongregation services, and attending myfifth year of Hebrew school, I started tonotice a buzz around me concerning bar andbat mitzvahs. Planning, dates, caterers,tutors, and more swirled around my friendsand me. Even though I had been waiting for(well, not exactly waiting but expecting) thisday to come, it still felt like a humongoussurprise. Was I really turning 12? I thought Istarted lessons next year! It all felt way toosoon.

After my first week of lessons with myamazing tutor, Bronwen, I remember goingto my mom crying, “I don’t wanna have a batmitzvah!!!” I was so upset! It just felt like somuch work and too much responsibility. Itold my mom all this, and she simply said tome, “OK, Amelia. You don’t have to have abat mitzvah, it’s OK.” I rememberimmediately sitting up and thinking Wait aminute; I really do want a bat mitzvah. I think Isaid something like, “No, no, Mom. Its OK.I’ll do it.” I think that having my momactually give me the option of not having abat mitzvah (and of course my mom reallyknew I wanted to have one, she wasn’t reallygiving me the option) made me realize how

important this step was in my life cycle andthat I really had been waiting for it my wholelife, and it was my responsibility to do this.Later, after my bat mitzvah, I said to mymom, “That was really worthwhile.” I think Imeant that it wasn’t just my responsibilitydo this, but it was my responsibility to makeit worthwhile. I had tried not to rush throughmy work and writing and wait until theparty, like I had when I was little. This reallywas a meaningful and important day, but itwas also something I had anticipated mywhole childhood, and I’m happy I did make itworthwhile. n

— Amelia Geser

Amelia’s parents, Ilene Rosenthal and LouisGeser, met at BJ so she has been a memberher whole life. She had her naming on thebimah when she was 8 days old, was amember of the original Reach for Shabbatpilot program, became a bat mitzvah onJanuary 16, 2010, leads activities for childrenas a volunteer at Tot Shabbat dinners, and willbe an ozeret in the Hebrew School this year.

My Bat Mitzvah: Not Just One Day



“Even though I had been waitingfor (well, not exactly waiting butexpecting) this day to come, it stillfelt like a humongous surprise.Was I really turning 12? ”

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Thursday, December 2, 20104:00 – 6:00PM | 88th Street Sanctuary

Calling all 5th-, 6th-, and 7th-gradestudents who will become b’nai mitzvahat BJ (and their parents)!

No chat. No email. Talk to real people, inperson!

Find out about the many opportunities tomake a difference in the world and getstarted doing it!

Get the information you need to plan agreat project in preparation for yourbar/bat mitzvah.

Representatives from BJ groups andother Jewish organizations will beavailable to discuss their work and howstudents can become involved.

Youth and FamilyMitzvah Fair


Ari works with Tsivya Laurence and Tamzen Naegele, who became b’not mitzvah on October 9, 2010.

4th Grade B’nai Mitzvah Parent Orientation MeetingWednesday, November 17 | 7:00PM88th Street Sanctuary

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Adult Education FundHelena Diamant Glass inmemory of JackBrawarsky

ASL Interpreting FundSusan Haiman in honorof Rae-Carole Fischer'sbirthday

Beba BronsteinScholarship Fund

Vicky Kahn and PhilippeLambert in celebrationof the birth of FeliciaSol's son

Jonathan and MickiReiss in celebration ofthe birth of Felicia Sol'sson

Toni Siegel and PeterSturtevant incelebration of AidenDror Sol

Bikkur Holim FundAmelia Korn in memoryof Shelley Bernard

Irma and Robert Radusin memory ofIrving Radus

Harriet Seiler in honorof Elaine Nevins' 75thbirthday

Barry and ElainWaldman in memory ofHoward Feuerwerker

Barry and ElainWaldman in honor ofLibby Forman Zal

BJ/SPSA HomelessShelter Fund

Judy Geller-Marloweand Glenn Marlowe inmemory of Lore Jarmul

Children's Service FundErnesto Brodschi inmemory of AidaBrodschi

Helena Diamant Glass inhonor of Ruth Jarmuland Irv Rosenthal's35th weddinganniversary

Susan Viuker Landauin celebration of thebirth of Felicia Sol'sson

Daily Minyan FundDavid Ettinger and KittyCalhoon

Helena Diamant Glassin honor of IrvRosenthal's 60thbirthday

Bernice Levine inmemory of JackBrawarsky

Elaine Nevins inmemory of her father,Joseph Goldstein

General FundSharon Anstey inmemory of JackBrawarsky

Sharon Anstey in honorof Glenn and JudyGeller-Marlowe'sanniversary

Altanese CatoJoel and Ulrika Citronin memory of ZillahGoldstein

Susan Dess inappreciation forsupport from the BJcommunity

Micki EisenmanDavid Ettinger and KittyCalhoon

Harold Goldman andJohn Bonavita in honorof David and NancyGad-Harf's son'swedding

Hyman GrossmanBernice Levine inmemory of NancyGreenblatt's brother

Mortimer Levine inmemory of Lore Jarmul

Sara and Andrew Littin memory of LoreJarmul and ZillahGoldstein

Nancy Melzer inmemory of Ruth Frank

Ellen Pall in honor ofThe Appel Family

Lilli PlattRosalie RadomskyRonnie RedenJonathan and MickiReiss in memory ofJack Brawarsky, LoreJarmul, and MickiReiss' aunt, Gert

Gilbert and JanetSpitzer in honor of theirson's Bar Mitzvah

Carl and Miriam Stern

Hevra Kadisha FundBurton Reiner inmemory of Ruth Frank

Judy Rosenberg inmemory of Ruth Frank

s several articles in the issue noteBJ’s b’nai mitzvah students areencouraged to begin a lifetime of

performing mitzvot by concrete actionduring their b’nai mitzvah year. In otherwords, Rabbi Abraham Joshua Heschel’s,to be exact, to “pray with their feet.” Findingthe volunteer opportunity that suits yourinterests, abilities, and availability is achallenge for busy adults and it is perhapseven more challenging for 12- and 13-year-olds. The BJ Mitzvah Fair in December is a great venue for learning about theseopportunities, and the BJ website,www.bj.org, will make this informationavailable online as well. For those whowant a head start, here is a partial list of

organizations with which we havedeveloped partnerships that b’naimitzvah students may want toconsult.

UJA-Federation of New York, Give a Mitzvah—Do a Mitzvahwww.ujafedny.org

Teva Learning Centerwww.tevacenter.org

Jewish Association for Services for the Agedwww.jasa.org

Online opportunties for adults also abound,giving parents the chance to model themitzvot. You may be amazed at the range ofopportunities available that are right upyour alley. n

— Denise Waxman

B’nai Mitzvah Projects Online

COMMUNICATIONS

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DONATIONS (received as of August 23, 2010

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Judith Bernstein LunchProgram

Daniel Berkowitz andMartha Banwell inmemory of BeverlyJablons

Martha FaibisoffDavid and Nancy Gad-Harf in memory ofZillah Goldstein

Judy Geller-Marloweand Glenn Marlowe inmemory of JackBrawarsky

Helena Diamant Glassin memory of LoreJarmul

Faye Levey in honor ofJudy and GlennMarlowe's anniversary

Mahzorim FundSusan Viuker Landauin memory ofJoseph and FlorenceViuker

Marshall T. MeyerMemorial Fund

Andrea Lucas andMonica Adams in honorof Ted Berger's 70thbirthday

Music FundGilbert and Janet Spitzer

Yizkor FundHarriet Abraham inmemory of her father,Saul Abraham

William and VickiAbrams in memory ofZillah Goldstein andNancy Greenblatt'sbrother

Gail Amsterdam inmemory of hergrandfather, DavidBurwick and her father,Theodore Amsterdam

Isabel Berkowitz inmemory of her mother,Helen Berkowitz

Jeanette Brizel inmemory of her father,Irving Brizel

Renee Cherow-O'Learyand John O'Leary inmemory of AbrahamCherow and Eli Cherow

Robert Davidoff inmemory of JackBrawarsky

Debra Fine and MartinSchneider in memory ofPhil Fine

Ted Fisher in memory ofhis parents, Irwin andLucille Fisher

Jon and Alice Fisher in memory of ErnestFisher

Linda Frankel in memoryof Gary Femmer

Harold Goldman andJohn Bonavita inmemory of Harold'smother, RebeccaBronstein Goldman,Ezra Weinberg'sgrandfather, LoreJarmul, and RaeJanvey’s mother

Dorothy and DavidGoldstick in memory ofher mother, PaulineDorfman

Hilda Greenberg inmemory of AbrahamWeiss

Sonny Greenwald inmemory of his sister

Lisa Halprin Fleisherand Arthur Fleisher inmemory of Lisa'sfather, Gerald Halprinand of Arthur's father,Norman Fleisher

Nina Horak in memoryof her father, MikulasHorak

Martin and Halina Igel inmemory of his sister,Sarah Weisglass

Paul and Carol Jacksonin memory of theirdaughter, Linda Wanger

Sandra Katz in memoryof her mother, ShirleyKatz

Stephen Kaufman andMarina Pinto Kaufmanin memory of EllenSiegel-Kaufman

Gail Landis in memory ofher father, NormanLandis

Ellen Landsberger inmemory of her father,Murray Landsbergerand mother, GlenissLoventhal

Harold and HelenLehrman in memory ofJessie Bernheim

Richard Lieberman andSusan Farkas inmemory of hisgrandfather, SamuelGottlieb

Jules and Judith Lovein memory of hismother

Miriam Lox in memory ofher mother, Elsie Lox

Linda and MarcLuxemburg in memoryof her parents, Berniceand Irwin Novograd

Allan Malz and KarinBruckner in memory ofhis mother, Manya Malz

Gerald and ShirleyMargolis in memory ofTammie Fogel

Rabbi J. RolandoMatalon and TaliaHatzor in memory ofRoly's grandmother,Celia Matalon

Renee Melzer inmemory of her father

Ellen Metzger andMarvin Lange inmemory of Ellen'sgrandparents, Kate andJack Sultan, and EstherMotta

Peggy Moss in memoryof her father, MartinMoss

James and BarbaraMunves in memory ofhis mother

Alexander Nacht andLaurie Basch inmemory of his mother,Pauline Nacht

Ilene and Eugene Nadelin memory of hermother and father,Helen and Louis Trager

Andrea and AmosNeufeld in memory ofher father, Joseph

Sallie and SherwoodNewman in memory ofher mother

James and LaurieOestreich in memory ofhis father, AbrahamOestreich

Lilli Platt in memory ofher mother, HannaPlatt

Charlotte Rashti andRichard Cooper inmemory of FlorenzeRashti

Michael Roffer andSusan Lerner Roffer inmemory of Celia Roffer

Sonia Rosenbaum inmemory of George Foot

Joseph Rubin andCorinne Winston inmemory of his mother,Geraldine Rubin

Susan Sanders inmemory of DoraSanders

Ellen Schecter andJames Altman inmemory of her father,George Schecter

Alfred and ReneeSchwartz in memory ofhis mother and father

Shelly Sherry in memoryof her mother, Sylviaand Jack Sherry

Leonard and BarbaraSugin in memory ofHerman Gruberg

Bernice Todres inmemory of JackBrawarsky, LoreJarmul, and Ruth Frank

Mim Warden in memoryof her husband, Jack

Scott Weiner and BethSiegel in memory of hisfather, Leonard Weinerand his stepfather,Irwin Goodglass

Barbara and RobertWillinger in memory ofher mother

Sharon Zane in memoryof her father, Manuel D.Zane

KOL HADASH new voIceNovember/December 2010

The Kol Hadash is published every othermonth. We would love to print your stories and articles about BJ! For submissionguidelines, contact [email protected]. All material is the propertyof B’nai Jeshurun andcannot be reprintedwithout permission.

The Kol Hadashis printed using

soy-based inks on 50%recycled paper by an eco-friendly printer.

Designer: Harriet R. Goren


HESHVAN/KISLEV/TEVET 5771 • new voIce

continued from page 10DONATIONS

asj kue

Rabbis:J. Rolando MatalonMarcelo R. BronsteinFelicia L. Sol

Hazzan and Music Director:Ari Priven

Marshall T. Meyer Rabbinic Fellow:Rabbi Michelle Dardashti

Rabbinic Fellow:Jason Fruithandler

Cantorial Intern:Shoshi Rosenbaum

Executive Director:Harold Goldman, x248

Assistant Executive Director:Belinda Lasky, x224

Director of Education for Youth and Family:Ivy Schreiber, x225

Director of Social Action/Social Justice:Channa Camins, x259

Program Director:Guy Felixbrodt, x255

Major Gifts Officer:Nancy Gad-Harf, x262

Associate Director of Development:Erzsébet Ragyina, x228

Communications Manager:Denise Waxman, x275

Director of Administration & Finance:Ron Seitenbach, x226

Director of Facilities:Roma Serdtse, x258

Assistant to Rabbi Matalon andCommunications Associate: Sarah Guthartz, x234

Assistant to Rabbi Bronstein and Hazzan Priven: Naomi Goodhart, x240

Assistant to Rabbi Sol and ExecutiveDirector Harold Goldman:Elizabeth Stone, x233

Board of Trustees:Jonathan AdelsbergºPresident

Susan Kippurº*Chair

Jeannie BlausteinºVice President

Joel KazisVice President

Stephen StulmanºVice President

Debra FineºTreasurer

Andrew LittSecretary

Robert BuxbaumGene CarrAnne EbersmanRochelle FriedlichChristina GantcherBarbara GlassmanSally GottesmanSofia HubscherRichard KalikowBeth Kern

Debbie LernerAndrew LittHenry MeerSamara MinkinAndrea NewmanBernie PlumBenjamin RossEmily WeissMichael Yoeli

Honorary TrusteesVirginia Bayer*Ted Becker*Frederic GoldsteinMarcy Grau*David Hirsch*Richard Janvey*Robert KanterJoan KaplanSara Moore Litt*Naomi MeyerJudith Stern Peck*

General CounselRichard Kalikow

º Executive Committee Member* Past President

SYNAGOGUE:257 West 88th Street

OFFICES:2109 Broadway (Ansonia), #203

Main Telephone Number 212-787-7600

Fax Number (2109 Broadway)212-496-7600

Websitewww.bj.org

Committees & Services:Accounts Payable.......................227Accounts Receivable ..................237Adult Education Information .....233Bar/Bat Mitzvah .........................223Bekef ..........................................255Bikkur Holim..............................233BJ Reads ....................................391Communications........................275Community Programs ...............255Conversion .................................264Daily Minyan...............................232Development

& Donation Information ........228

88th Street Rental......................223Family Activities: Hotline ...........318Hakhnasat Orhim.......................255Havurot.......................................255Hevra Kadisha ...........................233Homeless Shelter .....212-339-4250Interfaith Committee ............... 379Kiddush Scheduling...................255Kol Jeshurun...............................275Kol Hadash .................................275Ledor Vador................................224Life Cycles..................................233Lunch Program..........................338

Membership Information...........224Ralph Bunche School

Partnership ...........................301Social Action ..............................259Teen Programming ....................253Torah/Haftarah Reading ............232Tze’irim ......................................264Ushering ....................................305Visiting Groups...........................234Volunteer Information................255Youth & Family Education ..........225

Non-Profit Org.U.S. Postage

PAIDPermit No. 530New York, NY

new voIce • NOVEMBER/DECEMBER 2010

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KOL HADASH.

2109 Broadway (Ansonia) • Suite 203 • New York, NY 10023

kol hadash november/december 2010

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