lake murray fish wrapper 7-17-14

The Lake Murray Fish Wrapper | www.lexingtonchronicle.com Thursday, July 17, 2014 | 1

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What you missed in the Lexington County Chronicle & The Dispatch-News:

• Countycoronerraceisdecided

• AttorneyGeneralWilsoncanpursueSpeakerHarrell,S.C.Supremecourtsays

• SheriffMettscasemakesnationalheadlines

• Yes,thatwasaSuperMoon

• WestColumbiareferendumonstrongmayormovesforward

• Anti-strongmayorgroupgrowingstronginWestColumbia

• SPORTS-Localseniorsmakestatelist

Subscribe for our print and online editions! Only

$45 a year! Call 359-7633 Lawn Mower races were a fan favorite at the Fun Festival at the Historic Columbia Speedway in Cayce Saturday. The event was sponsored by

Newspring Church.

TERRY WARD | CHRONICLE

Federally insured by NCUA

*Approval is based on credit worthiness; existing AllSouth auto loans are not eligible for this promotion. 2010 and newer vehicles only;minimum loan amount of $5,000. Interest will continue to accrue during the 90 days with no payment. $100 will be deposited into your

savings account when the loan is established. Savings account required for membership.

(803) 736-3110701 North Lake Drive or Hwy 6 at Platt Springs Rd. Walmart

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S.C. Peanut Party

34th AnnualS.C. Peanut Princess Pageant

Pelion, SC • Saturday, July 26th10 a.m.

Birth to 4 years5:30 p.m.5 to 21

married division*Scholarships for 17-22 year olds

Boot Scootin’ Boogie Peanut Pageant August 2

Information and Application: 606-9522 or [email protected]

Entertainment Schedule•Thurs. 7th — Karaoke & Dance (7pm-10pm)

•Fri. — Steele Justice Band (7pm-11pm)•Sat. — Carolina Rebels Band (7pm-11pm)

August 7-9, 2014

www.scpelionpeanutparty.com

Live entertainment, American Indian Demostration, Food, Crafts, Rides, Parade, Talent Show, PB&J Eating Contest, Frozen

T-shirt Contest, Cornhole Tournament, Book Sale, P-nutty Cooking Contest,

Peanuts-Your-Way Tent, Boiled Peanuts Galore!

Carolina Rebels BandSteele Justice Band

33rd Annual

“Peanuts...for the good life.”

2 | Thursday, July 17, 2014 The Lake Murray Fish Wrapper | www.lexingtonchronicle.com

Robert A. Leonardi, MDLexington Cardiology

Lexington Medical Park 1 Auditorium

Lexington Medical Center is pleased to present a monthly lecture series featuringphysicians speaking about medical topics that are important to our community.

FREEto the public

Light Refreshments LexMed.com

Monday, July 28th @ 6:00 p.m.

PhysicianLecture Series

Lexington Medical Center Presents a Free

Transcatheter AorticValve Replacement

What’s in a name? If you find yourself trying to decide between a brand medication or generic, we can help. The medication in bothis the same. What’s different are the fillers, tablet coatingsand price. When it comes to understanding medications,we’re always glad to help.

RONT FROCKIN’ ON THE

ORCH PChef Francois Fisera and

his wife Karin and son Jo-seph have just returned from a Mediterranean cruise visiting Italy, Croa-tia, Greece and Turkey. Jo-seph, like his parents, has been bitten by the travel bug. At age 17, he has al-ready visited 30 countries. In this Q&A interview, his father, Chef Francois of the local cooking school, Fleur De Lys Home Culinary Institute, shares with our readers his advice on how to get the most from your first — or next — luxury cruise.

Q. What should you look for in choosing a cruise line and how can you tell if the ship will be all the line claims it is?

A. Bonjour, Jerry. That’s an excellent question. There are cruise lines for every possible budget. Inside cabin, no window, are at the rock bottom possible price. The best available are “Owner Suites” or 1st Class. Different cruise lines are more kid friendly than others, while some offer unique services for older cli-ents or passengers traveling as a couple or group. Find one that fits your needs.

Q. You hear stories about cruises that end bad-ly. What health conditions should you consider, partic-ularly if you are older and may have chronic health is-sues?

A. Every cruise has a doctor on duty 24 hours a day with a medical office and nurses. If you plan to go ashore, there are help-ful guidelines in brochures to make you aware of walk-ing great distances, rocky terrain or other conditions to help you decide which excursion would work best for you.

All cruise lines are wheel-chair and handicap acces-sible, including special seat-ing in dining areas, door-ways and rest rooms.

As always, there is a team

member to personally assist you with special requests.

Q. In view of stories about some lines, how can you be sure a cruise compa-ny is reliable and will take good care of you?

A. John Steinbeck once wrote, “A journey is a per-son in itself; no two are alike. We find after years of struggle that we do not take a trip; a trip takes us.”

With that being said, as with any trip, things hap-pen. Cruise lines go well above and beyond the call of duty as far as their crew members are concerned. Their first priority is your safety and well being.

Before any cruise is al-lowed to leave port, at the start of the cruise, there is a mandatory “drill” for passengers and crew. This ensures that if something should happen, each pas-senger can quickly and safe-ly head to their designated life boat stations.

As a thank you for the crew, an optional service charge of just $12 a day is added to a passenger’s bill. Additional tips for those special crew members who make a trip even that more special is also nice.

The housekeeper usually receives $100, the butler $50 and the Concierge $50.

Gifts for the hotel direc-tor, captain and head chef are always greatly appreci-ated.

Q. What amenities might a traveler request in book-ing a cruise, such as a tour of the bridge, an opportuni-ty to eat at the captain’s or chef’s table, etc.?

A. If you want to be in-vited to the Captain’s Table, men should bring a tux-edo and women an eve-ning gown. A request list for an invitation is readily available. One need only to speak with the hotel direc-tor.

For the special Chef’s Ta-ble there is a small fee and

seating is limited. The hotel director will be more than happy to accommodate your special requests.

Q. Are expensive first class accommodations worth the additional ex-pense?

A. Definitely. Even though you will spend time on deck, on shore and at special events on the ship, it is so relaxing to sip coffee on a balcony in the morn-ing and view the fabulous scenery.

The best advice on a cruise is to take good care of the crew members who take such good care of you.

Building relationships

with key people on board is worth it and will create ma-ny memorable moments.

Our last cruise was from Venice to Turkey, Greece and back. Our next will be the Canary Islands next spring. Bon Voyage!

Editor’s note: The U.S. Centers for Disease Control monitors cruise line health incidents. You can find recent in-cidents and the health inspection rating of a ship you may be con-sidering by Googling “Cruise Ship Health Ratings.”

A seasoned traveler tells how to cruise

Enjoying dinner on board the Norwegian Jade are Joseph Fisera, his father Francois, and mother Karin, their friends Christina, Mr and Mrs. LeSage and the ship’s Hotel Director Jean Michel. Cruise passengers are pampered with gourmet food.

VISITLexingtonChronicle.com


[email protected]

Worship - 10:30amSunday School - 9:30am

Communion Every Sunday

,

Rev. Rev. Raymond Carlo

2350 Augusta Hwy.

Wednesday Bible Study 7:00 p.m.

-

LEXINGTONUnited MethodistChurch

309 East Main Street • Lexington 359-6838 • www.lexumcsc.com

Traditional Service8:30am, 11:00am & Tuesdays at 6:30 pmContemporary Service11:00am on SundayPastors - Ken Owens and Miyoung Paik

CALVARY CHAPELLexington

Service times: Sunday • 9am & 11amSaturday • 6pm | Wednesday • 7pm

Children’s Church At All Services

951-22731156 Barr Road • LexingtonEmail: [email protected]

Watch us on ABC Sunday at 6:30 a.m.

Sunday: 9am Blended Service 10:30am Contemporary ServiceWed: 5pm Dinner 6:30pm Service

www.fblex.org

Call to WorshipThese houses of worship invite you to attend this week.

HOLY TRINITY EVANGELICAL LUTHERAN CHURCH

2920 Pella Ave. – West Columbia, SC 29170

We still believe and teach: Jesus Christ is the only Savior of mankind;•

• •

baptizing and teaching “all things whatsoever” His Word teaches. (Mt. 28)

SS. & Bible Class: 10a.m. • Sunday worship: 11a.m.

Pastor Vance Fossum • 803-796-0005 • www.LexingtonLutheran.org

Come grow with us in the knowledge of your Savior and His peace.

www.lexingtonbaptist.org

Sundays9:00 & 10:30 am - Blended Services

Senior Pastor Mike Turner

308 East Main Street, Lexington

Wednesday EveningActivities for all ages

Great advertising rates! Call us!

359-7633

Let newcomers know about your church and fellowship. Advertise for just a few dollars a week right here.

Call 359-7633.

ANSWERS

LexingtonChronicle.com


FOR SALE101 Auctions102 Garage/Yard Sales103 Furniture104 Appliances/TV105 Computers106 Spa/Pool107 Misc. for Sale108 Wanted to Buy

ANNOUNCEMENTS201 Card of Thanks202 In Memoriam203 Misc. Announcements204 Cemeteries205 Lost & Found206 Travel/Cruise207 Business Notices208 Instruction/Training

SERVICES301 Misc. Services302 Building/Contracting303 Heating/AC

304 Income Tax Service305 Insurance306 Landscaping308 Pest Control309 Plumbing310 Painting311 Healthcare312 Clerical

EMPLOYMENT401 Help Wanted - Misc. 402 Help Wanted - Drivers403 Help Wanted - Labor404 Help Wanted - Skilled405 Help Wanted - Sales406 Help Wanted - Office407 Help Wanted - Management408 Help Wanted - Medical409 Help Wanted - Professional450 Employment Wanted

CHILD/ELDER CARE501 Child Care502 Elder Care

FARM/PETS551 Dogs/Cats/Pets552 Livestock553 Farm Products

FINANCIAL601 Business Opportunities602 Business Loans603 Personal Loans604 Investments/Stocks

REAL ESTATE701 Home Rentals702 Apt Rentals703 Vacation Rentals704 Manufactured Homes705 Commercial706 Homes for Sale707 Apt. for Sale708 Mobile Home Lots709 Lots & Acreage710 Commercial for Sale711 Wanted to Buy712 Misc. Rentals

BOATS/CAMPERS801 Boats802 Campers/RVs

TRANSPORTATION851 Automobiles852 Trucks853 Motorcycles854 Commercial

PUBLIC NOTICES900 Legals901 Master In Equity Foreclosures

Rates:$20 a week for 1 week$19 a week for 2 weeks$18 a week for 3 weeks$17 a week for 4 weeks

8:30 a.m. - 5 p.m. (803) 359-7633 Monday - FridaySpecial Rates for Special People!

20 words or less for $2050¢ for each additional wordAds appear in the Lexington County Chronicle, the Lake Mur-ray Fish Wrapper and on the Lexington County Chronicle website.

Deadlines: Legals: 5 p.m. Friday for following Thursday publication.Line Classifieds: Noon Monday for Thursday publication. Holidays are an exception. Call for details.By Mail: Enclose payment with ad copy and mail to Lexington County Chronicle, PO Box 9, Lexington SC 29071

By Phone: Call to charge to your VISA or MasterCard account.

All classified advertising is prepaid.

LEXINGTON COUNTY CHRONICLE AND The Dispatch-News—SINCE 1870

CLASSIFIEDClassifieds on the internet at www.lexingtonchronicle.com

10,000 readers 16,000 readers

FOR SALE101

AUCTIONS

ABANDONED VEHICLE

The below listed vehi-cles have been abandoned in Lexington County and are currently housed with the company listed below. Pursuant to applicable South Carolina law, the owner and or lien holder has the right to claim the motor vehicle within thirty (30) days after the date of this notice upon payment of all towing, preserva-tion, and storage charges resulting from placing the vehicle in custody. The failure of the owner and or lien holder to exercise their right to reclaim the vehicle with the time pro-vided it is deemed as a waiver by the owner and or the lien holder of all rights,title,interest,in the vehicle and consent to

the sale of the vehicle at public auction. If not reclaimed within the time period outlined above the vehicle may be disposed of according to state law. Any owner, lien holder, or other interested party should contact:Amanda J. KeithTillman Towing1749 Airport Blvd.Cayce, SC 29033(803)794-5060(803)794-8060 fax 2T1BR12E6YC288010 2000 COROLLA

7-17

ABANDONED VEHICLE

The below listed vehi-cles have been abandoned in Lexington County and are currently housed with the company listed below. Pursuant to applicable South Carolina law, the owner and or lien holder has the right to claim the motor vehicle within thirty (30) days after the date of this notice upon payment of all towing, preserva-

tion, and storage charges resulting from placing the vehicle in custody. The failure of the owner and or lien holder to exercise their right to reclaim the vehicle with the time pro-vided it is deemed as a waiver by the owner and or the lien holder of all rights,title,interest,in the vehicle and consent to the sale of the vehicle at public auction. If not reclaimed within the time period outlined above the vehicle may be disposed of according to state law. Any owner, lien holder, or other interested party should contact:Econo Auto Painting1527 Sunset Blvd.West Columbia, SC 29169803-794-09901994 Toyota Pickup, VIN# JT4V-01D1R2014175

7-17

ABANDONED VEHICLE

The below listed vehi-

cles have been abandoned in Lexington County and are currently housed with the company listed below. Pursuant to applicable South Carolina law, the owner and or lien holder has the right to claim the motor vehicle within thirty (30) days after the date of this notice upon payment of all towing, preserva-tion, and storage charges resulting from placing the vehicle in custody. The failure of the owner and or lien holder to exercise their right to reclaim the vehicle with the time pro-vided it is deemed as a waiver by the owner and or the lien holder of all rights,title,interest,in the vehicle and consent to the sale of the vehicle at public auction. If not reclaimed within the time period outlined above the vehicle may be disposed of according to state law. Any owner, lien holder, or other interested party should contact:Boatwright’s Paint & Body

225 Cedarcrest DrLexington, SC 29072803-951-16041998 Gold Chevy Sub-urbanVIN # 3GNEC16R5WG1302802001 Black Ford F-350Vin # 1FTWW-32F31EB74385

7-17

PUBLIC NO-TICE

On 7/31/14 at 10:00 am the stored items listed below, stored at Storage 2000, 540 Knox Abbott Dr. Cayce, SC 29033 will be sold at public auction to the highest bidder for cash at the address stated above.

*Unit 702 – Debra Sypable – car battery, clothes, misc items

*Unit 512 – Bernard Goodman Jr – furniture, TV, misc items

*Unit 531 – Darrell An-crum – furniture, mattress set, misc items

*Un i t 744 – Ivan Woods – leaf blower, fur-

niture, mattresses*Unit 538 – Savan-

nah Klicka – TV, boxes, misc items

*Unit 325 – Thomas E Satterfield – piano

*Unit 1556 – Gregory B Uhrich – furniture, TV, misc items

7-24

108

EMPLOY-MENT

402

HELP WANTED DRIVERS

CLASS A DRIVERS NEEDED! NO-TOUCH! Routes East of I-35. Weekly pay & home-time. 2 yrs exp. Dedi-cated miles. Bonus. Columbia terminal. Call Recruiting @ 803-250-2166.

7-17

DRIVERS: LOCAL/RE-GIONAL/OTR EXCEL-LENT PAY/BENEFIT Package Great Pay/

Consistent Miles Daily/Weekly/Bi-Weekly Ho-metime CDL-A 1yrs OTR exp. req. 855-842-8498

7-17

DRIVERS: REGIONAL WITH CDL-A Get home every week! Dedicated freight. Medical & Dental insurance. Call Jim 855-842-8501.

7-24

ROUTE DRIVERS: LOOKING FOR re-sponsible, hard-work-ing route drivers with reliable transportation. Route is Wednesdays and Thursdays every week. Please send quali-fications to Blind Box, PO Box 9, Lexington, SC 29071

UFN

404

HELP WANTED - SKILLED

E L E C T R I C I A N S - HELPERS. 2 -5 years. Residential experience. 1-877-797-7603.

7-24

E X P E R I E N C E D W O O D W O R K E R NEEDED FOR restora-tion shop. Must be fa-miliar with typical wood shop tools. Also seeking trained laborers to work in SC for asbestos and lead abatement. Must have valid DL and pass drug test. Please send resumes to [email protected] or apply within at 10229 Broad River Rd., Irmo, SC b/t 8-11 Mon.-Fri.

7-17

408

HELP WANTED - MEDICAL

TENDER CARE HOME HEALTH Care of South Carolina Is Immediately Hiring RNs and LPNs Pediatric Experience is Highly Desired Contact Stacey [email protected]

7-10

405

HELP WANTED

-SALESA M B I T I O U S B U T FRUSTRATED? NEED money for rent, mort-gage, school, clothes, kids, car, spendthrift spouse or retirement one day? Email Jerry [email protected]

UFN

DOGS/PETS551

DOG CAREPATENTED HAPPY JACK FLEA Beacon: Control Fleas in the home without toxic chemcials. Results overnight! Horse Sense Tack & Feed. 359-7714. www.happyjackinc.com

7-17

705

HOMES FOR SALE

BROAD STREET - EV-ERYTHING is new. Over 3,872 sq.ft. 5BR/3BA

on 1.53 acre. A lot of house for $229,900. Owner ready to sell! Call 803-359-1113 or visit www.lakemurray-property.net.

7-17

709

LOTS & ACREAGE

WATERFRONT LOT ON LAKE Murray/ 8/10acre w/150+ feet on lake approved for private dock. $120,000. Call 803-732-2411.

7-31

BASS HARBOR - SA-LUDA County, lakefront lots reduced to $20,000. RV okay. Call 803-359-1113 or visit www.lake-murrayproperty.net.

7-17

HWY. 378 - 5.22 acre tract next to busy gas station. Only 15 miles to Lexington. Zoned commercial. $119,900. Call 803-359-1113 or visit www.lakemurray-property.net.

Business DirectoryLexington County Chronicle AND The Dispatch-News—SINCE 1870

To place your ad, call Linda, Roger, or Chuck at 803-359-7633.

Linda Roger

FOR FIRST-CLASS PROFESSIONAL SERVICES AND PRODUCTS

Your Hometown Realtor!

[email protected]

see all area listings at:www.adambedenbaugh.com

UFN

Chuck

FREE OIL CHANGE WITH REPAIRS OF $100

Professional

Service

Quality

Repairs

4735 Augusta RoadLexington, SC 29073

Office: 803-358-9185

Over 30 years BMW/Import Experience — 20 years domestic

7-24

5400 Augusta Road • Lexington (803) 446-6525• SOD SALES • MULCH • DECORATIVE ROCK • FIREWOOD

PAVERS • PALM TREES • LONG NEEDLE PINE STRAWwww.carolinasodding.com

Mention this ad and get 10% off colored mulch

7-24

Service & RepairComputer Diagnostics

Engine Performance • Tune-upsElectrical • A/C Service • Brakes

[email protected]

996-0664

AutomotiveAutomotiveB’sB’s

2833 Two Notch Road • Lexington

8-7

OFFICE 755-1615HOME 755-3624MOBILE 603-3163

FAX 755-27261-800-468-2604

SHARPE’S SEPTIC TANKAND

WELL DRILLING SERVICE

Installation • Pumpouts • Repair

LARRY SHARPEOWNER

3660 FISH HATCHERY ROADGASTON, SC 29053

[email protected]

8-7

CROUCH PAINTING, INC.Interior/Exterior Painting

Low pressure house cleaningLicensed | Insured | Bonded

Free Estimates

Bill CrouchOwner

1713 Sunnyside DriveCayce, SC 29033

Office: 791-7468 Mobile: 447-2658

8-21

BRING IN THIS AD FOR 10% DISCOUNT

Residential Pool BuilderSales & Service803-957-6600

Connie & Rachel

WE’VE MOVED1812 Augusta Highway

Lexington, SC 29072

Inground Fiberglass & Vinyl Liner PoolsInground Vinyl Liner Replacements

Computerized Water TestingParts & Accessories

Full Line of Pool & Spa Chemicals

8-21

Jimmy C. Stukes Sr. & Jamie C. Stukes

Hardwood Floors | Sales | Installation Floor Sanding & Finishing

Office955-9769

Cell497-2105

8-21

FREEWhite Knoll Veterinary Hospital

FIRST OFFICE VISIT WITH THIS COUPON

$37.95 VALUE

Coupon must be presented at the time of the visit

803-808-8292

(NEW CLIENTS ONLY)COUPON EXPIRES

9/31/14

516 Kyzer Road

9-11 9-18

Larry Hutto CLU ChFCAgent

924 East Main St, Unit BLexington, SC 29072Bus 803-957-0707 Fax [email protected]

Providing Insurance and Financial Services.

9-25

I’m looking for a highly-motivated individual to join me in an exciting adventure -- developing sales for clients of the Lexington County Chronicle and the Lake Murray Fish Wrapper. If you’re the one I’m looking for, you need to have:1. The experience and conviction that selling is your calling.2. The smarts to build relationships with business owners and entrepreneurs.3. The savvy to help your clients develop advertising and marketing campaigns that will increase their profits and incomes.

4. The coachability to learn to sell by referral rather than cold calling.5. The brains to learn the power of direct response advertising to help your clients sell more to more people more often.As my partner, we both work on commission. That means we can make a great income if we are willing to get out and work for it.If you believe in your heart that this is for you, call me at 359-7633.

— Linda Sauls

Do you want to be my partner?

N EED SO ME HEL P PAYIN G FO R HEAL TH IN SUR AN C E ?

Residents of Lexington, Richland and Fairfield counties may qualify for help to

pay their monthly health insurance premium if they enrolled in a Silver Plan

with a tax credit in the healthcare marketplace and have

made their first payment. Call Today!!!

8 0 3-7 99 -38 53, ext 6 02 T h e Coop e ra ti v e Mi n i s try

3 821 W. Be lt l in e B lvd C olu m bi a, SC 29 204 10-9

Quality Work - Lowest Price

Interior - Exterior - Detail Specialist

Free Estimates - 28 years ExperienceLIC, INS, BONDED

803-609-2017

Painting - Wallpaper removal

A-1Painting

LEXSC

winfred “kit” carson803-429-5068 10

-23


“Lose 2 Inches From Your Waist, Hips or Thighs in 32

Minutes…Guaranteed!” (Non Invasive Body Sculpting)

What were you goals at the beginning of the year? Have you met your goals? Are you moving in the right direction? Is it hard to stay on track? Losing “stubborn fat” is hard and as you get older -- it just gets harder and harder. You might go to the gym five days a week, sweat on the treadmill for an hour, and see maybe a pound or two drop in a month. Is that really worth your time? Or… imagine going to a medical facility, laying down, spending 35 minutes relaxing, then getting up and finding out you’ve lost two inches around your waist. Which do you prefer? What if you could keep doing that and losing more and more fat until you looked like you did years ago? If you have any interest in this and how it works when it comes to inch loss, you should stop what you’re doing

and call the office for an appointment immediately. This new treatment technology uses a special light therapy to trick your mitochondria (in your fat cells) to release their fat content. If you eat better, drink plenty of water, stay away from sugars, and carbohydrates, and this can lead to permanent fat loss without surgery.

Here’s a heads up. If you have tried liposuction in the past - you know that when you “regain the weight” it goes to different places--making your body look distorted and then unfortunately, you’re

back to where you started, only worse. With this technology we don’t destroy your fat cells. What we do is we simply drain the contents of the fat cells so you lose the inches and look good again.

No Pain No Surgery No Downtime No Dieting No Exercise

(Lose 2” on Your First Visit or You Don’t Pay!*)

Call: 803-808-1897 1926 South Lake Dr. Lexington, SC 29073

*Guarantee offered to first treatment, new patients, on our full BodySculpt procedure only. If you don’t lose 2” in combined measurements, your treatment is FREE.

Special May Madness One inch melting ‘body

sculpting’ treatment for~ONLY~ $125

(regularly $500)

Happiness May Affect MobilitySeniors who have a zest for life may have greater mobility as they age than their more discontented peers, according to a new study. The research doesn’t prove that happiness extends mobility, but suggests a link between enjoyment of life and a more active and healthier old age. Researchers tracked 3,200 people aged 60 for eight years. The participants answered questions about their well-being, energy levels, enjoyment of life, ability to do day-to-day activi-ties and how fast they walked. Only 4% of the people who enjoyed life developed problems with daily activities, compared to 17% of those who enjoyed life the last.

359-25871207 W. Main St.

LexingtonMon-Fri 8:30-6

Sat 8:30-2Serving the community for good health

SINCE 1924

prescriptions • medical equipment • compounding

Stacy HendrixPharmacist

PICKS OF THE WEEK“The Other Woman” (PG-13) -- Three women team up

for slapstick revenge when they realize they are being strung along by the same guy. Cameron Diaz plays a su-per-busy, extra-classy Manhattan lawyer who tries to sur-prise her boyfriend, but ends up finding out he’s married. The cheated wife (Leslie Mann of “This Is 40,” “Knocked Up”) confronts and then befriends Diaz. Together they discover that Mann’s husband (Nikolaj Coster-Waldau from “Game of Thrones”) is cheating on both of them with a voluptuous beach bunny (Kate Upton).

This might not be the hilarious and empowering la-dies-get-revenge the producers had in mind. While Diaz and Mann try to bring balance between warmth and goofy comedy, the script and the direction just don’t sup-port them.

“Noah” (PG-13) -- The Bible story of Noah and the Ark gets a different spin in this somewhat darker and grungi-er retelling. Russell Crowe plays Noah with gravel-voiced conviction. He receives visions from the silent “creator” who seems to give him instructions. Noah puts together the boat, rounds up the animals and fights off hordes of enemies -- all with a little help from giant rock monsters who used to be angels.

Darren Aronofsky handles the material as reverently as he can. The movie tries to fill in the gaps while pleasing both devout and secular audiences. There are some genu-ine thrills in the film, as well as some truly impressive special effects.

“Lullaby” (R) -- Jonathan (Garrett Hedlund) left his family years ago to pursue a music career out in Califor-nia, and now he’s come back to New York City for his fa-ther’s final days. Dad (Richard Jenkins) has decided he wants to be pulled off life support after a very long battle with cancer. Now the whole clan has a lot of feelings to work out and only 48 hours to do it. Jonathan finds some peace when he meets Meredith (Jessica Barden), a termi-nally ill teen who teaches him a few things about living with death.

“Five Dances” -- Chip (Ryan Steele) is talented, young, broke and all but alone in New York City. He’s in a small dance troupe rehearsing five classical pieces of choreogra-phy, dedicating himself to the art while still receiving phone calls from his alcoholic mother, begging or de-manding that he return to Kansas or else she’ll follow him to the city. Chip has a connection with one of the other dancers, but he doesn’t how to react to it. The driving force of this film is the expert dancing -- shot almost en-tirely in a small dance studio with natural lighting and minimal schmaltz.

TV RELEASES“Midsomer

Murders, Set 24”

“Mystery Science The-

ater 3000: XXX”

“Teen Titans Go: Couch Cru-saders Season 1 -- Part 2”

“My Little Pony Friendship Is Mag-ic: The Keys of

Friendship”“Bubble Guppies:

Get Ready for School”

(DVDs reviewed in this column will be available in stores the week of July 28, 2014.)

Russel Crowe as Noah

COUCH THEATER

-- DVD PREVIEWS


By acting now you can protect your family when they’ll need it most.

Prearranging your funeral and cemetery needs releases your family from unnecessary stress and provides them peace of mind. As a Dignity Memorial® provider, we provide many unique benefits:

• National Transferability• 24-Hour Compassion Helpline®• Bereavement Travel Program• 100% Service Guarantee• Child/Grandchild Protection*

* Additional terms & conditions apply

Caughman-Harman Funeral Home503 N. Lake Drive • Lexington, SC

803-359-6118

RAVELIN’TWITH THE CHRONICLE

CarolinaWomensPhysicians.com

Carolina Women’s Physicians welcomes

Jennifer Greene, MD, FACOG.A former assistant professor at the University of South Carolina School of Medicine and Wake Forest University School of Medicine, Dr. Greene is a board-certified OB/GYN with special interests in minimally invasive gynecologic surgery, cervical cytology and histopathology, and pediatric and adolescent gynecology. She is also a Fellow of the American Congress of Obstetricians and Gynecologists. Dr. Greene proudly joins the highly skilled physicians of Lexington Medical Center’s Network of Care.

NOW ACCEPTING NEW PATIENTS

146 North Hospital Drive, Ste. 240 • West Columbia, SC 29169 • (803) 936-7590

CarolinaWomensPhysicians.com

A Lexington Medical Center Physician Practice

Ukrainian journalists visit the site of where a bloody war began

Over the next few weeks, Ma-cLeod and Jerry Bellune will take you along on their adventures to exciting places where history was made in our state. You may follow their footsteps on weekend adven-tures of your own.

Fort Sumter, S.C.

More than 40 years after my promise to go with MacLeod

to Fort Sumter, I kept my word.

When our journalist friends from Ukraine came to visit, they were intrigued with the history of Ameri-ca’s two centuries of fight-ing for freedom and liberty.

Ukrainians have had their own problems with foreign invaders, man-made fam-ines and starvation and in-tolerable hardships under the Soviet tyranny.

The written history of their country is longer than ours and just as dramatic.

When we asked if they wanted to see where the War for Southern Indepen-dence began, they read-ily agreed. Early the next morning, all seven of us crowded into our van and struck out for Charleston.

Fort Sumter was built in 1829 as an island fortifica-tion to guard Charleston harbor and can be reached only by tour boat.

The unpleasantnessConstruction of Fort Sum-

ter was still underway when South Carolina seceded from the Union on Decem-ber 20, 1860.

Although Charleston was a major port, only two Union companies were sta-tioned at Fort Sumter and Fort Moultrie. Recognizing that Moultrie was vulner-able to a land assault, Maj. Robert Anderson aban-doned it for the more easily defended Fort Sumter.

South Carolina’s militia

seized the city’s other forts, leaving Fort Sumter as the lone federal outpost.

With President Abraham Lincoln’s inauguration in March 1861, the situation escalated. Knowing Ander-son’s men were running out of supplies, Lincoln an-nounced his intention to send three unarmed ships to relieve them.

South Carolina had de-clared that resupplying the fort would be seen as an act of aggression. On April 11, Gen. P.G.T. Beauregard de-

manded that Anderson sur-render the fort but the ma-jor refused.

Beauregard’s men opened fire on the fort shortly after 4:30 a.m. April 12, 1861.

U.S. Army Captain Abner Doubleday — later famous for the myth that he invent-ed baseball — ordered the first shots in defense of the fort a few hours later.

Beauregard’s 19 coastal batteries unleashed a pun-ishing barrage, eventually firing an estimated 3,000 shots in 34 hours. By Sat-

urday, April 13, cannon fire had broken through the for-tress’s five-foot-thick brick walls, causing fires inside.

Running out of ammuni-tion, Anderson surrendered shortly after 2 p.m.

No Union troops had been killed during the bom-bardment, but two men died the following day in an explosion that occurred during an artillery salute held before the U.S. evacu-ation. The bombardment of Fort Sumter would play a major part in triggering the Civil War. In the days fol-lowing the assault, Lincoln issued a call for Union vol-unteers to quash the rebel-lion, while more Southern states including Virginia, North Carolina and Tennes-see cast their lot with the Confederacy.

There were no casual-ties during the bombard-ment but during the evacu-

ation, a Union soldier was killed and another mortally wounded in an accidental explosion during a planned 100-gun salute.

Confederate troops took over Fort Sumter for nearly four years, resisting bom-bardment by Union forces before abandoning it as Union Gen. William T. Sher-man’s forces approached and captured Charleston in February 1865.

After the war, Fort Sumter was restored and manned during the Spanish-Amer-ican War in 1898, World War I and World War II.

Going by boatFort Sumter was first built

after the War of 1812 with the British ended in 1815.

The fort was one of near-ly 50 forts built as part of coastal defenses. The three-tiered, five-sided fort was designed to guard ac-cess to Charleston Harbor.

Years ago, when we missed the boat, there was only one tour a day.

This time of year, the tour boats leave three times a day from Liberty Square downtown and from Patri-ots Point at Mt. Pleasant.

Departure times are at FortSumterTours.com

Next: The Gamecock

The federal government started building Fort Sumter in 1829 to guard the port of Charleston.

Fort Sumter videoAn interesting video about the battle at Fort Sum-ter can be seen online at http://video.pbs.org/vid-eo/1832507650/


Memory Loss

“Doc!” the elderly man yelled. “I’ve lost my mem-ory!”

“Calm down, sir. When did this happen?”

The man looked at him, puzzled. “When did what happen?”

Job Interview Nightmares

The following are “actu-al” post-interview excerpts collected from middle managers who, needless to say, probably did not hire any of the people mentioned here:

“Applicant stretched out on the floor to fill out the job application.”

“She wore a Walkman and said she could listen to me and the music at the same time.”

“A balding candidate abruptly excused himself. Returned to office a few minutes later, wearing a hairpiece.”

“Applicant asked to see interviewer’s resume to see if the personnel execu-tive was qualified to judge the candidate.”

“Applicant announced she hadn’t had lunch and proceeded to eat a ham-burger and french fries in the interviewer’s office - wiping the ketchup on her sleeve.”

“Stated that, if he were hired, he would demon-strate his loyalty by having the corporate logo tat-tooed on his forearm.”

“Interrupted to phone his therapist for advice on answering specific inter-view questions.”

“When I asked him about his hobbies, he stood up and started tap dancing around my of-fice.”

“At the end of the inter-view, while I stood there dumbstruck, he went through my purse, took out a brush, brushed his hair, and left.”

“Applicant pulled out a Polaroid camera and

snapped a flash picture of me. Said he collected pho-tos of everyone who inter-viewed him.”

“Said he wasn’t interest-ed because the position paid too much.”

“During the interview, an alarm clock went off from the candidate’s brief-case. He took it out, shut it off, apologized and said he had to leave for another interview.”

“A telephone call came in for the job applicant. It was from his wife. His side of the conversation went like this: “Which compa-ny? When do I start? What’s the salary?” I said, “I assume you’re not inter-ested in conducting the in-terview any farther.”

Ex-Advertising Exec

Two advertising execu-tives were having lunch and talking. The young exec trainee said to the older, wiser man, “Where has Ben Harris been hanging out? I haven’t seen him for a while.”

The senior exec replied, “Haven’t you heard? Ben Harris went to that great ad agency in the sky.”

“Good Lord,” replied the junior man, “You’re kidding me, right? What did he have?”

“Oh, nothing much,” re-plied the elder exec. “A small toothpaste account and a couple of discount stores, but nothing much worth going after.”

Things It Takes Most Of Us 50 Years To Learn

The badness of a movie is directly proportional to the number of helicopters in it.

You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests you think she’s pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.

The one thing that unites all human beings, regard-less of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL be-lieve that we are above-av-erage drivers.

There is a very fine line between “hobby” and “men-tal illness.”

People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.

If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be “meet-ings.”

The main accomplish-ment of almost all orga-nized protests is to annoy people who are not in them.

You should not confuse your career with your life.

A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter/janitor, is not a nice person.

When trouble arises and things look bad, there is al-ways one individual who perceives a solution and is willing to take command. Very often, that individual is crazy.

Maypole Dance

The teacher asked the lit-tle girl if she was going to the Maypole dance. “No, I ain’t going,” was the reply.

The teacher corrected the child: “You must not say, ‘I ain’t going,’ you must say, ‘I am not going.’ “ And she added to impress the point: “I am not going. He is not going. We are not going. You are not going. They are not going. Now, dear, can you say all that?”

The little girl nodded and smiled brightly.

“Sure!” she replied. “They ain’t nobody going.”

Big Shot

Joe grew up in a small town, then moved away to attend college and law

school. He decided to come back to the small town be-cause he could be a big man in this small town. He really wanted to impress every-one. He opened his new law office, but business was very slow at first.

One day, he saw a man coming up the sidewalk. He decided to make a big im-pression on this new client when he arrived. As the man came to the door, Joe picked up the phone. He motioned the man in, all the while talking. “No. Ab-solutely not. You tell those clowns in New York that I won’t settle this case for less than one million. Yes. The Appeals Court has agreed to hear that case next week. I’ll be handling the primary ar-gument and the other mem-bers of my team will pro-vide support. Okay. Tell the DA that I’ll meet with him next week to discuss the de-tails. “

This sort of thing went on for almost five minutes. All the while the man sat patiently as Joe rattled in-structions. Finally, Joe put down the phone and turned to the man. “I’m sorry for the delay, but as you can see, I’m very busy. What can I do for you?”

The man replied, “I’m from the phone company. I came to hook up your phone.”

Marital Accounting

A Milwaukee man had been keeping a detailed set of personal record books since he got married in 1949.

One day his wife, trans-ferring his records to a new desk, started thumbing through some of the old ac-counts.

In the 1949 book, under Non-Recurring Expenses, she found this item: “One Honeymoon.”

My Name is Daniel

One weekend, my friend, who was a nurse, was look-

ing after her six-year-old nephew when he fell off a playground slide and hit his head.

Worried that he might have a concussion, she checked him all night.

Every hour, she’d gently shake him and ask, “What’s your name?”

Soon, he began moaning in protest each time she en-tered the room.

When she went in at 5:00 A.M., she saw some-thing white on his face. Leaning close, she saw a crayon-scrawled message taped to his forehead.

It read: “My name is Daniel.”

Unwritten Rules

A young ensign had near-ly completed his first over-seas tour of sea duty when he was given an opportuni-ty to display his ability at getting the ship under way.

With a stream of crisp commands, he had the decks buzzing with men and soon, the ship had left port and was streaming out of the channel. The ensign’s efficiency has been remark-able. In fact, the deck was abuzz with talk that he had set a new record for getting a destroyer under way.

The ensign glowed at his accomplishment and was not all surprised when an-other seaman approached him with a message from the captain.

He was, however, a bit surprised to find that it was a radio message, and he was even more surprised when he read,”My personal congratulations upon com-pleting your underway preparation exercise accord-ing to the book and with amazing speed. In your haste, however, you have overlooked one of the most important unwritten rules of seamanship:

“Make sure the captain is on board before getting un-der way.”

Naming Issues

A pregnant woman gets into a car accident and goes into a coma.

After nearly six months, she wakes up to find that she is no longer pregnant.

Frantically, she asks the doctor about her baby.

The doctor replies, “Ma’am, you had twins! A boy and a girl. The babies are fine. Your brother came in and named them.”

The woman thinks to herself, “Oh no, not my brother!” Expecting the worst, she asks the doctor, “Well, what’s the girl’s name?”

“Denise,” the doctor says.The new mother thinks,

“Wow, that’s not such a bad name! I like Denise!”

Then she asks the doctor, “What’s the boy’s name?”

The doctor replies, “De-Nephew.”

No Pressure

An older man was on the operating table awaiting surgery. He had insisted that his son-in-law, a renowned surgeon, perform the opera-tion. He was about to re-ceive the anesthesia when he asked to speak to the surgeon.

“What is it?” asked the son-in-law.

“Don’t be nervous, do your best, and just remem-ber, if it doesn’t go well, if something happens to me, my wife is going to come and live with you and your family.”

The Military

The hit-and-run victim was just getting to his feet when a policeman ran up to help.

“My mother-in-law just tried to run me over!” the shaken man told the cop.

“The car hit you from be-hind,” the officer said. “How could you tell it was your mother-in-law?”

“I recognized the laugh!”

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20+ OF THE MIDLANDS FINEST ARTISANS

SILENT AUCTION: Featuring unique sports and entertainment memorabilia

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artisanS marketA Monthly Juried Art and Artisans Event

803.606.5250

ANNOUNCEMENTSBURNING YARD DEBRIS: Prior to burning outside of towns and cities, notify the S.C. Forestry Com-mission at 1-800-795-8613, Burning must be 75 feet from any structure or property line and citizens must take adequate steps to prevent any fire from spreading within 75 feet of any structure.

LEXINGTON COUNTY GARBAGE COLLEC-TION: Collection and re-cycling centers are open Monday, Wednesday, Fri-day and Saturday, 7 a.m. – 7 p.m., and Sunday 3-7 p.m. Closed major holi-days and during inclem-ent weather. Accepts household garbage, yard debris (leaves, limbs, scrap lumber, etc.). Clean wood waste is accepted for recycling at Ball Park, Bush River, Chapin, Ed-mund, Sandhills and Southeast. Recyclables accepted at all centers: newspapers and inserts, phone books, corrugated cardboard and paper-board, office paper, junk mail, glass bottles and jars, aluminum cans, steel cans, plastic bottles and containers, jugs, plastic trays and baskets, metals such as stoves and grills, used cooking oil, used motor oil, oil fil-ters and oil bottles, foam rubber, carpet padding, batteries and textiles (clothes, shoes, etc.). Items accepted only at the Edmund Landfill (fee may apply): tires, elec-tronics, appliances, pro-pane tanks. Find more in-fo at www.lex-co.sc.gov/solidwaste.

EVENTSBACK TO SCHOOL SPLASH: Trinity United Methodist Church will be sponsoring this event Saturday July 26, from 10am-noon. Water slide, snow cones, hot dog lunch, and door prizes are on the agenda. 1201 Mohawk Drive, West Co-lumbia. For more infor-mation, contact the church office at 803.794.7777.

VACATION BIBLE SCHOOL: Trinity United Methodist Church. Mon-day July 28 through

Wednesday July 30, 6pm-8pm. Children aged 3-12 will enjoy crafts, mu-sic, Bible stories, recre-ation and snacks. 1201 Mohawk Drive, West Co-lumbia. To register, con-tact the church office at 803.794.7777.

CALL TO ARTISTS:LCAB SCA Semi-Annual Exhib-it. Lexington County Ad-ministration Building. 212 S Lake Dr, Lexington 29072 | Hours of opera-tion Monday - Friday 8am-5pm | 54 + spaces | Self guided tour, maps & inventory list (including prices) at front desk. Cu-rated & secure exhibit. Deadline to submit is 8/1/2014. Visit link for more information; http:www.southcarolinaartists.com/Membership.html#Non-membership_call-to-artists

LESSONSAARP SMART DRIVER PROGRAM: On Friday, July 18, Lexington Leisure Center, 108 Park Rd., Lexington, 29072, will host the AARP Smart Driver pro-gram from 9am to 3:30pm. Completing the Smart Driver pro-gram enables any participant age 26 and older to receive a dis-count on their automobile insur-ance. Cost of the program is $15.00 for AARP members and $20.00 for non-members. Please bring a sack lunch. Call 803-957-7979 to register.

HELP FOR COUNTY VET-ERANS: Veterans’ Affairs Officer Ed Lundeen meets Veterans, surviv-ing spouses, dependents and beneficiaries at area Gaston Library first Thursday each month – 10 a.m.-12 p.m.; Chapin Library, first Friday of each month – 9 a.m.-11 a.m.; and Batesburg-Leesville Library, second Friday of each month – 10 a.m.-noon. The office provides education, ad-vice and assistance in fil-ing VA claims and infor-mation regarding VA pro-grams. Appointments en-couraged, call 803-785-8400 Monday-Friday 8am-5pm.

MUSEUMSLEXINGTON COUNTY MUSEUM: Collection of antebellum buildings and artifacts. Tues.-Sat 10

a.m.-4 p.m., Sunday 1-4 p.m. Closed Mondays and holidays. 231 Fox Street at U.S. 378 (Co-lumbia Ave.) Adults $5, children $2. Info: 359-8369.

SC ARCHIVES & HISTO-RY CENTER: Open Mon-Fri, 8:45 a.m. - 4:45 p.m., at 8301 Parklane Road, Columbia.

COLUMBIA MUSEUM OF ART: Corner Main and Hampton, Columbia. Tu. - Fri. 11 a.m. - 5 p.m. Sat-urday 10 a.m.-5 p.m., Sun. 12 p.m.-5 p.m. Closed Mondays. Adults $10, Students $5. Every Sunday is free. Info 799-2810. Free admission to all active duty military personnel and their fami-lies.

EDVENTURE CHIL-DREN’S MUSEUM: 211 Gervais St., Columbia. Open Tues. - Sat. 9 a.m. -5 p.m. and Sunday noon-5 pm Adults $9.50 per person (discounts for military and seniors). The second Tuesday of each month is Family Night, 5-8pm with $1 per per-son admission. (803) 779-3100 or visit www.edventure.org.

S.C. STATE MUSEUM: 301 Gervais St., 898-4921. Adults $7, seniors

$6, children 3-12 $5, un-der 3 free, Military dis-count.

MEETINGSNEWCOMER’S CLUB OF GREATER COLUMBIA: Offers many opportuni-ties to meet new friends and share activities while learning about your com-munity where you now live. The Club hosts a coffee the first Tuesday of the month and a lun-cheon the fourth Thurs-day. For reservations and more information please call 750-6695.

MUSICLIFE SPRINGS WORSHIP CENTER: MUSIC CAMP, July 21 – July 25, 2014. Children ag-es 3 – 15 are invited. All the fun and excitement will take place from 9:30 AM till noon, Monday through Friday. 5630 Platt Springs Road, Lexington, across from White Knoll High School. Invite your friends and neighbors to this special event. To register your child online or for more in-formation visit www.lswc.com or call 803-957-2221.

4TH SATURDAY BLUE-GRASS SERIES: Every

4th Saturday January through August the his-toric Haynes Auditorium. 423 College St., Bates-burg-Leesville.

SELF IMPROVEMENTBUILD CONFIDENCE: Lexington County Toast-masters teaches effective speaking and leadership skills. Meets at Lexington Medical Park, 2728 Sun-set Blvd., West Columbia, Thursdays, 7-8 a.m. http://lexingtoncounty.toastmastersclubs.org/di-rections.html

REUNIONSB-C CLASS OF 1964: Brookland-Cayce High class of 1964 holds its 50th class reunion Aug. 9, 5:30 p.m., at the Country Club of Lexington. Begins with social hour followed by dinner, then dancing until 11 p.m. For more info or reservation, call or email Sue Price Jones, 796-8183 or [email protected].

VOLUNTEERTHE LEXINGTON COUN-TY VOTERS REGISTRA-

TION AND ELECTIONS: is recruiting poll manag-ers to help in the June Primary, June Primary Run-Off and November General Election. Inter-ested, please call the Lex-ington County Elections office at 785-8361.

TUTORS NEEDED: Teach adults to improve read-ing and writing skills or learn English as a new language. Training and all materials are provid-ed. Call Director Chris Mathews Tuesday or Thursday at 782-1210.

ARTHRITIS FOUNDA-TION: Do you have ar-thritis or know someone who does? If so, you’re not alone. There are 1.2 million adults and 4,000 children in South Caroli-na who have been diag-nosed with 1 of the 100 forms of arthritis. The Ar-thritis Foundation can help you take a proactive stance against the pain of arthritis by getting in-volved. Join the fun and help the Arthritis Founda-tion plan the Jingle Bell Run/Walk in the Mid-lands. Together we can cure arthritis! Please con-tact Gerald Talley at [email protected] or call 1.800.365.3811 ext. 4899 for more information.

YOUR WEEKLY GUIDE TO AREA EVENTS

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