lancaster parenting

L A N C A S T E R

An adver t is ing supplement of Lancaster Newspapers, Inc.Sunday, March 10, 2013

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Fatherhood, like martial arts, is not for the timid. It takes patience and perseverance.

“You don’t just wake up one day and do a spinning heel

kick,” said Wayne Mutata.Mutata, a professional MMA fighter

who went 14-0 before retiring, became a father two years ago. His son Xsavior is, Mutata says, reaping the benefits of having a father who’s learned — through years of martial arts training — to persevere and be patient.

“Because I’ve been in confrontations I can brush it off instead of screaming…keep calm,” said Mutata.

Jeff Hilbert also points to the value of learning patience while in martial arts. Studying taekwondo for three years — he just earned a first-degree black belt — has made him a better father.

“I struggle with patience, but…with sparring, you have to come out of that knee jerk reaction…pull out of that emotional moment and think.”

Hilbert was a father long before he began training. He started taekwondo when his younger son, Alex (now 14), brought a flyer about a local class home from school. He, Alex and his older son, Andrew (now 16), began training together.

All three were, said Hilbert “bitten by the bug” and now have black belts.

Training together has given them a common experience that lets them handle problems more effectively. Hilbert said he used to come down much harder on his sons. Now they can “talk through and apply lessons from taekwondo to go on in life.”

Structure and perseverance are essential in life, and parenting, said Brian Fisher. He didn’t have either in his youth when he “got in a lot of trouble.” Fisher began training first in Jeet Kune Do then, when his daughter Jamie was six, in Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. He now has a brown

belt in BJJ and a ten year old son, Dylan. Jamie, 16, holds a black belt in karate.

“Rewards come…don’t give up,” he said of his journey as a parent and a martial artist.

“Sometimes life gets hard…young kids, a job, house payments…training is the biggest stress reliever,” Fisher said, adding, “It’s also fun.”

“Fighters,” said Mutata, “are a different breed.”

Apparently, so are the fathers who persevere, learn patience and enjoy the stress relief of training.

~ Stephanie Bradford~ photo By K. SCott Kreider

Wayne Mutatatrains & offers trainingMcMillan Training Center1148 Elizabeth AvenueLancaster, PA717.421.8826 www.itrainwithwayne.com

Jeff hilBerttrains & teachesSafe Kids taekwondoYMCA, Lampeter/Strasburg & Lancaster, PA717.252.2824www.safekidusa.org

Brian fiShertrains & teacheslancaster Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu924 North Reading RoadEphrata, PA717.507.2975 www.lancasterbjj.com

Martialing The Art Of

Fatherhoodafter successfully executing a grapple on his dad, dylan fisher smiles at his dad triumphantly.

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T he only thing Kari Bermudez, mother of six, regrets about taking self-defense is that she didn’t do it sooner. “I wish I’d done it years ago, when the kids

were smaller,” Bermudez said. Any mom knows there is not one day

that passes without a potential crisis, large or small. Learning self-defense is one way to deal with the possibility of a big problem.

Bermudez, along with Kari MacKenzie and Marilu Snyder have all taken self-defense classes, and each says they now have more confidence, new skills, and a desire to have their kids learn self-defense as well.

From her very first class, Bermudez started looking at the world differently, and sharing her knowledge with her kids who range in age from 9 to 15.

Prior to the classes, Bermudez hadn’t given much thought to “situational awareness.” The phrase is used to describe, basically, knowing who and what is around you.

Now she knows how to be aware of her surroundings, carry herself confidently and not present an “easy target” by being distracted by her cell phone.

MacKenzie said the every day distractions of being a mom used to be a

problem. When you are with your child, she said, “you’re paying attention to them.”

Taking self defense made her “more aware…body positioning, how to carry your purse.” Now she is more secure as she juggles her daughter, age 5, even when she’s “laden down with bags.”

She also knows “where to hit someone and have it hurt.”

Self-defense classes can be very physical. The day Bermudez learned to defend against chokes she went home and talked with her family about the technique. Which lead, naturally, she said chuckling, to everyone learning and practicing the skill.

Snyder, single mother to three kids, trains and instructs at Direct Action Tactical. Although she’s belted in

both Tae Kwon Do and Hapkido, she encourages anyone, especially moms, to take self-defense.

It’s “shocking,” she said, how intense practicing a “real encounter” can be.

“It’s not only about protecting yourself, it’s about whoever is with you. It’s a scary time for moms — going to school is scary for some people. Anything moms can do to feel control over their safety… makes daily life easier,” Snyder said.

Self-defense, she said, gives you “confidence and ability — should something occur.”

~ STephanie Bradford~ phoTo By K. SCoTT Kreider

don’t Mess with these Moms

direct action Tactical274A Granite Run DriveLancaster, PA717.560.0124 or 888.867.5106M-F 9:30am-3:30pmwww.directactiontactical.com

Similar classes offered at:Lancaster Family Martial Arts Center3706 Hempland Road Mountville, PA 717.898.6120www.lfmac.com/index.php.html

Marilu playfully puts her son drew in a head-lock before they begin their real training in self defense.

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Kids and Cultures announces the schedule for its 10th annual summer day camp to be held at HACC, Lancaster Campus, June 17 to 21.

Kids and Cultures Camp incorporates stories, music, crafts, games, snacks, and guest presenters from a different country every day. The tentative destinations for this year's camp include Sweden, Guatemala, Palestine, Georgia (the country, not the state), and New Zealand.

The guests, who now live in or near Lancaster, are eager to show and tell about what life is like for children growing up in their countries of origin, and interact with the campers. A travel scrapbook and Kids and Cultures Camp T-shirt are included.

Kids and Cultures Camp, for students fi nishing grades 1 to 5, was started in 2004 as a partnership with Millersville International House. Some scholarships are available, and Kids and Cultures seeks individuals and business sponsors to help with the fund.

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For more detailed information, including online registration, visit www.KidsAndCultures.com/camp Questions, call 717-723-8787.

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Safety CheckPhase 1: Until 2 years of age (no matter what their weight) infants and toddlers must be properly harnessed in a rear-facing safety seat, properly secured in the rear of the vehicle.

Phase 2: From 2 years of age until they outgrow their child seat (by weight or height, but no sooner than 4 years), toddlers must be properly harnessed in a front-facing safety seat, properly secured in the rear of the vehicle:

Phase 3: Until the child is 4’9” tall (no matter what age or weight), they must use a ‘belt-positioning’ booster (either high back or backless) to sit upon

with the vehicle lap/shoulder belt around them and the booster.

Phase 4: After reaching 4’9”, youth should continue to ride in the rear seat until 13 years of age, only then are they sufficiently developed to withstand the impact of a front dash mounted air bag deployment when properly belted.

Stadel Volvo, located at 5455 Manheim Pike East Petersburg, representing one of world’s safest family vehicles, takes seriously the importance of properly using seat belts for all passengers and employs a child car seat specialist. John Holtzapple,

Marketing Manager at Stadel Volvo and retired engineer is a Safe Kids Certified Child Seat technician. He has extensive experience in presenting the theory and practical issues of transporting infants and toddlers to new or expectant parents and grandparents. With more than 80% of child restraints used improperly, it’s only through the proper selection, installation, and harness placement that can you maximize the protection a seat offers your child in a collision.

Email Mr. Holtzapple at [email protected] or phone at 717-569-1050.

Not only is it the law, but a smart and good parenting practice to fully understand the choice, child fitment, and vehicle installation of Child Safety Seat Restraints.

Infants, toddlers, and school age children to a 4’9” height must be restrained in the rear seat by the proper child or booster seat.

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Don’t Miss Lancaster AQS QuiltWeek!Largest Collection of International Quilt Art in PA!

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Join us for the North American debut of the exhibit Beneath the Southern Skyand see over 200 world-class quilts competing for over $44,000 in cash prizes.

Enjoy classes and lectures from Alex Anderson, Kaffe Fassett, Eleanor Burns,& more and shop the Largest Quilters’ Merchant Mall in PA.


Growing up in a time of economic struggle, today’s kids might be inadvertently learning lessons about money. If Mom and Dad have been forced to cut back or even lost their jobs, chances are kids have noticed and learned something as a result.

Even if parents have managed to weather the economic storm of the last several years without making too many sacrifi ces, they can still start teaching kids about money, even if kids have just entered kindergarten. It’s never too early to teach kids lessons about money. The following tips are a few ways parents can do just that.

Give kids an allowanceMany parents give their kids an allowance so they can have some spending money when out with friends. But giving an allowance is also a great

way to teach kids about managing their money. Start with an amount that is small but large enough for kids to make purchases. In so doing, kids will learn that things they want cost money and that properly managing their money will enable them to purchase the things they want. If kids spend all their money by Monday and don’t get their allowance until Friday, resist the temptation to give them more money if the kids ask for it. This, too, will help kids learn the value of managing money.

Open a savings account in your child’s name. Another way to teach kids about money is to open savings accounts in their names. Once the account is opened, take your child to the bank once a week to deposit a predetermined amount of money. This shows the child the

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importance of steadily saving money. It might be difficult at the outset to get kids into this habit, but once they make savings deposits part of their routines and their balances start to grow, they will likely grow more enthusiastic about their weekly trips to the bank.

Encourage kids to document their finances. Encouraging kids to document their finances, including deposits, withdrawals and expenditures, is an effective way to teach them basic financial analysis. If the bank supplies savings books, make sure kids use them. But go one step further and give kids a financial journal where they can document all of their purchases in addition to their deposits and withdrawals. Such documentation enables kids to analyze how they spend their money. Periodically go over these expenditures with children, and if they’re frustrated about their saving and spending habits, work with the children to

develop more effective strategies. Kids may appreciate these small lessons in analysis down the road when it’s time to purchase their first vehicles or finance a larger expense, such as their educations or even their first homes.

Help kids makelarger purchases.Helping kids make larger purchases, be it a new bicycle or a video game console, is another way to teach them about money. Such purchases teach kids about long-term financial goals, and how it’s necessary to stay diligent with savings in order to meet those goals. Paying for half is a good way to reward kids for meeting these long-term goals.

It’s never too early to start teaching kids about money, and parents can do just that in a number of ways.

DR. PIA FENIMOREPediatrician with Lancaster Pediatrics. Pediatric Health

KIRSTEN FREITAG-MURRAYStrengthening Families Program: For Parents and Youth 10-14 Facilitator and Trainer (Iowa State)Social, relational and/or behavioral issues

DR. MARIA MELITONPediatric Dentist with M2 Dentistry for Children & Teens, LLC.Pediatric Dental Health

MEGAN CONKLINCertifi ed Orthopedic Manual Therapist with Hartz Physical Therapy. Fitness, injury prevention and rehabilitation

TERRY EVEARITTCertifi ed College Planner with College FundingAdvisors, Inc.College fi nancial planning, fi nancial aid, and other college fi nancing

JOHN HOLTZAPPLESafe Kids Certifi ed Car Seat Technician withStadel Volvo.Proper car seat selection, installation andharness placement

Kirsten Freitag-Murray,QUESTION:My 7 and 5 year old are constantly fi ghting. My daughter, the 7 year old, seems to instigate the arguments with bossing my son around. He then lashes out at her by hitting and kicking. My husband and I have had numerous talks with them about how to treat one another. We also model positive behavior. So many friends say that boys are more aggressive and it is okay but we don’t accept that.Do you have any suggestions?

Dr. Pia Fenimore,QUESTION:My toddler used to take naps during the day and sleep 10-11 hours at night. Now, she still sleeps 10-11 hours at night but refuses to nap during the day. Is this ok or should I keep trying to get her to nap?

Megan Conklin,QUESTION:I have had 2 c-sections and now my abdominal region feels non-existent. What can I be doing to help strengthen that region?


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