landing in london

Disclaimer: NARUTO © 1999 by Masashi Kishimoto & Shueisha Inc. | Fractured Tales Project © 2010 | 286

she raised to his face. He was looking at the spear that was lodged in her chest. Whenshe smiled with tears, she whispered, “Our son… live.”

***

“Forgive me, Your highness.”

They stood cornered on the precipice.

Crumpling into his arms, he did not feel the blade that pierced his back, or thehundreds of gazes that were satisfied at their macabre image. With a last brush of the wetclump of dark hair on the tiny head, he took the stained child from the slowly coolingarms, and heaved it to the waiting blonde woman with her quaking hands.

(the voices are gone. they forgive you. he will live, and he will be like you. ason, a son.—sakura skips to the edge of the precipice. like a guiltless child, she points toa familiar point where a cove holds witness to a certain pledge sasuke, i am happyenough she calls him, her arms open wide to fly.)

He leaned his clammy temple on her bruised neck, on the shorn strands of pinkthat dusted the sides of his cheek. All he possessed were the vestiges of a ruined home,caused by a deranged mind. A suffering she bore because she loved a monster.

(sakura feels like there are wings—large, wide and ephemeral—on her back asthey hover over the flaming night sky. a kind breeze whistles on their ears. broken greenglass-eyes are open, her fingers caress his closed lids as they break the soft mirror, coldand silver, in yielding shards. they sink to the watery depths, the tart taste of freshwaterson her mouth. and she feels free at last.)

xiii. feel this dagger of pain | What long ago he foretold.

Ino hardly cared that in any second this scorned Uchiha realm would be gonebefore the deep evening breaks. She did not give a damn that the land would be razed infire.

There might be men, women and children that fulfilled the vengeance in theirminds and held the power on their hands tonight; there would still be a future promisingmore pain, tears and grief, but she was not bothered.

Ino could only hear the infant wailing, splitting her already breaking heart.

Landing in London


4th July 2007

Dearest Sasuke-kun,

How are you? I hope you’re doing well. It seems like it’s been so long since we’vetalked. You left so suddenly, you see. You didn’t really give me much of a warning nor a timeto say goodbye.

I’m trying to find the right words but all I end up doing is sounding too formal andwhiny. I suppose, if you’re here right now, you’ll say it’s typical of me.

You know, I’m not quite sure whether I’ll send this or not. You’ll know if I do, ofcourse, but… this letter just lacks any purpose. I think I just want to be closer to you,even if it’s simply writing your name on a piece of paper.

I have to go to work now. Be safe.All my love,Sakura

***

29th August 2007Sakura,

I’m doing fine. Life in the trenches isn’t as bad as it seems. I presumeyour work is going well too.

There’s this annoying boy, Uzumaki Naruto, in my troop. He’s loud andobnoxious and insists that I’m his best friend even though I’ve only known theidiot for a fortnight. I think you’ll like him. Our commander is about our age andis the laziest bastard you’ll ever meet. His name is Nara Shikamaru and he’sactually smarter than you, believe it or not. But the guy does nothing but sit onhis ass the whole day. I don’t know how he made it to the ranks.

I’ve got to go, we’re having a mission briefing in five minutes.

Uchiha Sasuke.

***

17th September 2007Dearest Sasuke-kun,

I’m so glad to hear that you’re doing well. I hope they’re feeding you right overthere. After all, how are you supposed to protect our country when you haven’t even had aproper meal?

Tenten came today and we went out for tea. She looked really bad, poor darling.Apparently, her fiancé, Hyuuga Neji, was injured badly last week and was sent home. Thedoctors said that he’d survive, but the damage done to his eyes was irreversible. They saidhe’d go completely blind in a few days.


On the other hand, I’ve decided to do my part for the war effort today. I’m goingto use that nursing degree of mine to help in the hospitals; for the soldiers that have beensent home. Besides, being a secretary is too boring for me anyway.

Even Ino’s doing her bit. She’s trying to recruit young men. I know what you’rethinking right now Sasuke-kun, and it’s not like that. It’s just that her looks and charm makeher more persuasive than others; it’s a completely clean job. She’s also setting aside aportion of the flowers in her family’s shop for all of our men who won’t come home alive.

You won’t be one of them, right?


Be safe.

All my love,Sakura.

***

22th October 2007Sakura,

Yes, I’ve been eating. The food here is crap, though. We don’t haveanything but canned food. We had a stash of ramen, but then Naruto ate thewhole goddamn carton by himself, the dumbass.

How’s work at the hospital? It’s good that you’re there; at least youcan do something rather than mope around uselessly.

I saw a man die in front of me today. He was badly injured, and Narutowanted to treat his wounds, but Commander Nara stopped him because hewas on the other side. He interrogated the man, but the guy wouldn’t give usany information. In the end, we gave up.

I was ordered to kill him.

And I did.

Sakura, I don’t think I can ever look at anyone in the face again.

Uchiha Sasuke.

***

18th November 2007Dearest Sasuke,

Ramen, huh? We’re mass-producing that stuff over here, what with the famine andeverything. I’m almost sick of that stuff; I’ve never liked it much in the first place. But then,what’s a person suppose to do? I’ll trudge along until the war is over. Once we’re free, Ithink I’m going to treat myself to a nice dress and a lavish meal. With beef. Mm. I haven’t hadthat for a long time.

Today, the Head Doctor, Tsunade, called me after my shift and asked me if I wouldlike to become her apprentice. I said yes immediately of course; she’s the best doctor in thecountry! I would’ve been insane if I turned her down. So yes, when you come back, you won’teven need to go to the hospital. I’ll treat all your wounds.

I don’t quite know what to say about what happened to you, Sasuke-kun. But youdid what you had to do. Orders are orders, aren’t they? I don’t think any less of you fordoing what your commander tells you to. After all, you’re fighting for our country. You’rejust doing your job.


I must admit though: I’m scared for you. And I know you think that’s annoying, butthe thing is, you’re never scared of anything. So someone has to be scared for you, right? Iknow you’ll pull through though.

Be safe and come home quickly. I’ll be waiting for you.All my love,Sakura

***

3rd December 2007Sakura,

Tomorrow might be my last day. I can’t say any specifics, in case thisletter gets intercepted. If all goes as planned, I’ll be back in Konoha by the NewYear; and if not, then I’ll probably end up losing my life. In any case, this will bemy last letter.

I’m not quite sure how I feel about this.

Thank you, Sakura. Your words have gotten me through the hardtimes, even if they’re few and far in between. They’re almost as good ashaving the real thing with me.

I don’t know what you are to me, or what I am to you. Hell, I don’tknow whether these are even love letters or not, all I know is that they’re theonly reason I can keep going right now.

I think I love you.

I don’t know how long this operation will be. Ideally, it’ll only take a fewdays, but if things get messed up, it can take weeks, months, maybe evenmore. But, I’ll make up for this.

I’ll make up for all of this, when I come back—and I will. I promise.

Just wait for me a little longer. Just trust me and that’ll get methrough this damnable hell.

That’ll bring me home.

Marry me, Sakura.

And I swear to whatever god is out there that I’ll come home alive.

Uchiha Sasuke

***


1st January 2008“Excuse me, miss?”

Sakura looks up from her paperwork to find a blond-haired, blue-eyed man—(boy)—her age standing outside her office.

“Yes?” Sakura answers tiredly, hours and hours of work taking its toll on her.“Come in, come in.”

“Are you Miss Haruno Sakura?”

“Yes I am,” she answers, getting up to shake the young man’s hand. “And howmay I help you, sir?”

“My name is Uzumaki Naruto.”

Something inside Sakura breaks at the sound of his name.

“Naruto?” she murmurs. Her eyes then shoot up to his face in alarm. “I—Sasuke-kun. Where’s Sasuke-kun?”

“I requested to come here to tell you the news myself—”

“S-Stop,” Sakura mutters disbelievingly. “It’s not. You—you just came here totell me he’s injured, didn’t you? He’s just injured and he’s in one of the wards here,right? I’ll go see him now.”

She makes a move to the door, but her path is blocked by Naruto, who looks ather with too much sympathy, too much pity, for Sakura’s liking.

“He’s not there,” Naruto says.

“No!” Sakura cries. “No, I—please. Please,” she begs him. “He isn’t. He—hecan’t be.”

“I’m sorry, miss,” Naruto says, eyes crumbling at the sight of the young pink-haired nurse slowly breaking.

“I’m going to see him now,” Sakura says determinedly. “I’ll just go down to thereception to see which room he’s in and—”

“Miss!” Naruto says, grasping her shoulders with his hands. They are warm andstrong, and Sakura shudders at the thought of how many people he has killed with them.“It’s no use, miss. He’s dead.”

“No, he isn’t.”

“I’m sorry, miss.”

“But,” she whispers. “But he promised.”

Naruto closes his eyes, giving Sakura time to hastily wipe away a tear.


“The mission would’ve failed if it weren’t for him,” Naruto explains. “Hesacrificed himself for this war. It’s because of him that we’ve won. Our country is freenow, miss. We’re free. Because of him.”

“I don’t believe it.”

“He always said that sometimes you have to sacrifice the few to save themany—”

“But why him?” Sakura wails. “Why him of all people? God could’ve chosenanyone but him. Out of all the people, why did Sasuke-kun—my Sasuke-kun—have to bethe one who died?”

“Maybe it was God’s purpose for him,” Naruto says softly, too softly for a man(boy) who was described to Sakura as loud and obnoxious. Sakura almost hates him forhis empathy.

“I don’t believe it,” Sakura repeats. “Why couldn’t it be someone else? Please,sir. Please say it was someone else. Not Sasuke-kun. Anyone but my Sasuke-kun.Please.”

“I’m afraid that I can’t.”

She purses her lips and lets the tears flow unabashed. After all, the man (boy)opposite her is crying too.

“I watched him die,” Naruto says, his voice wavering. “I—I tried to save him,believe me, miss, I did. But I just… couldn’t get there on time, and there were so manyenemies around us. They were shooting at us and setting off bombs everywhere. We justran out of time. I’m sorry, miss. I am.”

Sakura chokes back a sob and shakes her head. “Don’t be,” she says. “Don’tbe.”

They stand in silence for some time before Sakura opens her mouth and asksuncertainly, “Is it selfish of me, sir, to wish that someone else died instead of him?”

Naruto looks at her. He looks at her with those brilliant blue eyes that seem sopure and innocent despite what they must have seen; and he smiles that smile, that smilethat says he understands everything. Sakura bets he doesn’t, though. “Of course it isn’t.”

“I must be a truly horrible person,” Sakura says, hiccupping.

“You aren’t, miss.”

“Oh, but I am. Because I’m standing here right now wishing with all my heartthat it was someone else’s loved one that died. I wouldn’t have minded that. Whole citiescould collapse. Hundreds of nameless, faceless people could perish, and I wouldn’t careas long as he was safe. That to me, sir, sounds selfish.”

There is another awkward pause. “They’re going to set up a memorial for him.For what he’s done for us,” Naruto says, changing the subject and wiping away his tears


on his sleeve. “He was a good man, miss.”“I know he was.”

“He talked about you often, you know. Said that you were the only thing thatmade him keep going. And that the thought of seeing you after all this craziness was theonly reason he managed to get up every day. I didn’t believe him at that time. He’s such acold bastard, you see, miss. But when he talks about you, his eyes—they soften, kind of.And it’s like he’s not really with me. He said I’d have to meet you to understand, and saidthat he’d introduce you to me when we got back. I can see what he was talking aboutnow.”

Then, it hits her. Sasuke is dead. He is dead, and he is never coming back. Thefact sinks into her like a bullet, and once it does, it is suddenly all too much for Sakura.She reaches behind her and grabs her desk for support, her other hand is clamped overher mouth to stop the strangled cries from escaping.

“Miss? Miss, are you okay? You’re shaking,” Naruto says, concern evident inhis too-blue eyes.

Sakura takes a moment to regain her composure before replying, “I’m fine.Really. I will be.”

Naruto looks at her skeptically.

“Really,” Sakura assures him.

“He loved you, you know,” Naruto says. “And he told me before he died—hetold me to tell you that—that he’s sorry.”

Just when she thinks she’s broken, another part of her shatters.

“I have to go now, miss. My superiors want me in their office in ten minutes. I’llsee you around sometime, hopefully. I’m really sorry about Sasuke, miss.”

“Why?” she whispers, her eyes never leaving Naruto’s guilt-stricken face.

“Why what, miss?” Naruto asks, confused.

“Why is he sorry?”

Naruto takes some time before saying hesitantly, “He thinks he’s failed you.”With that, the blond wipes off any remaining tears and makes his way out of the room.

Sakura collapses on her chair, sobbing.

“Miss?” She hears the word and looks up. It’s Naruto, standing just outside herdoor, looking exactly the same as he had when he had brought her the news.

“Yes?” she croaks back.

“Don’t be so sad, miss. Sasuke wouldn’t have liked that,” Naruto says, almostapologetic. “He only wanted you to be happy, you know. Good day, miss.”


***

The next day, Sakura takes Sasuke’s letters out of the box she has been keepingthem in and burns all of them, save his last one.

She smiles bitterly as she rereads it for the hundredth time. “Widowed beforemy wedding day,” she murmurs, laughing at the irony of it all.

Sakura looks at the tin, where the letters burn, watching as the flames die down,his words turning into ash. She leans in to get a closer look at the faintly glowing embers.

It smells oddly like freedom.

Make-up Smeared Eyes

Sakura.”

She didn’t like the sound of his voice—she stopped liking it a while ago—butthe way her name came out of his mouth sounded like he needed her. She knew shewasn’t a necessity, though; she was more of an accessory, a pretty ornament that was puton display.

She knew the routine, and she prayed that somebody would save her from it,because she didn’t like the feeling of her bare back against her cold wooden door. Shedidn’t like having bruised lips in the morning. She didn’t like to be called a whore. Shedidn’t like the feeling of not being able to walk with her head held high anymore.

(Because, truthfully, the sight of her feet on the ground just reminded her thatshe couldn’t even look at anyone in the eye anymore.)

Sakura kept her emotions locked in her heart and she made sure to throw out thekey, made sure she could never find it again, for fear that her feelings would interferewith her relationships—this one in particular. She couldn’t let her thoughts, wants, oropinions get involved in this; because once they did, her whole life would changedrastically. She didn’t really know how it would affect her, but her past experiences hadtaught her to fear risks.

She felt her whole body go numb at the touch of his cold fingertips, as she triedher hardest not to stiffen suddenly. Her hands felt nothing unfamiliar as they tangledwith threads of slippery black. She felt her nails scratch against his scalp, as he pressedhis lips against hers harder.

Sometimes, she wondered why she had ever wanted this. It was her dream, butwhy was it so painful?

***

landing in london

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