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Student Curriculum 1L E A D E R G U I D E

Leader Guide2

Student Curriculum 3

LETTER

HOW TO USE THIS STUDY

WEEK ONE: INTRODUCTION

WEEK TWO: BE THE ONE

WEEK THREE: CHANGING SEASONS

WEEK FOUR: HOW FAR?

WEEK FIVE: PINK AND BLUE

WEEK SIX: FORGIVENESS

TABLE OF CONTENTS4

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Leader Guide4

Over the next six weeks, you will have the opportunity to take students on a journey that has the capability of transforming the way they view dating relationships. The dating relationships that they choose to have will shape their futures. Our desire is that students would realize their worth and would be able to walk out Godly relationships.

Using the videos hosted on the website and accompanying leader and participant guides, we believe you will lead both yourself and your eGroup into a deeper understanding of how to approach dating and relationships.

This leader guide is a tool for you to use as you facilitate your eGroup.

The best is yet to come,

eStudents Staff


HOW TO USE THIS STUDYWould You Date You? is broken up into six distinct sessions. In each session, you will find the following structure in your Leader Guide:

SESSION OVERVIEWThis page is designed to give you a high-level overview of the topic for each session. Here you will find the focal point for each session, as well as the key scripture references and highlights from the corresponding DVD session.

ICEBREAKEREach session will have an example of an icebreaker or activity that you can do to start or finish your group. This will help drive participation in your group.

QUOTES & QUESTIONSWould You Date You? video curriculum is intended to prompt discussion among your group members. Use the questions provided in each session to facilitate your group’s discussion and application of each topic after you view the videos. Read through these beforehand and choose the most relevant questions for your group.

PRAYERWe want to surround our students in prayer as they are learning new ways to approach dating and relationships. You may use these prayers as a guide when closing out your eGroup.

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CHALLENGEWe want to challenge the students in your group after each eGroup meeting. The challenges are social media-driven to keep these concepts in front of them. Help us promote the excitement in your group meetings.

NOTESUse the blank page in each session to record any notes, prayer requests, or stories of life change your group experiences throughout this study.

STUDENT PARTICIPATION GUIDEWe have participant guides to use during this study and would like you to encourage students to use their guide each week. Each session includes a quote from the video, an area for notes, questions for reflection, a prayer, and a challenge for the week.

You can have students answer the reflection questions during group or after group, but we believe that these are powerful questions that can help students get the most from this study.

SOCIAL MEDIAStay engaged on social media during this study. Encourage your students to keep their eyes on @eStudents and the hashtag #WouldYouDateYou for additional dating advice from Elevation staff members and eGroup leaders.

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WEEK 1: INTRODUCTION:ICE BREAKER *Use discretion if your group is coed. OPENERHave everyone in the room share about their first crush or their “non-negotiable” when looking for a boyfriend/girlfriend.

“RAISE YOUR HAND IF….” QUESTIONSyou have a boyfriend/girlfriend.you want a boyfriend/girlfriend.sometimes you feel lonely. you have a clear vision of your wedding day. having a boyfriend/girlfriend makes you want to vomit.

PRAYER & INTRODUCE THE CURRICULUMOur eStudents team has put together a student-specific curriculum just for you. As we kick off the first week of “Would You Date You?” let’s watch a short video from Chris Allen and then we’ll have some time for discussion afterwards.

Pray over the series and each student in your eGroup.

VIDEOWeek One - Introduction Video - Chris Allen

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DISCUSSION QUESTIONS• If you could change one thing about yourself what would it be?

• What is the purpose of being in a relationship?

• How does it make you feel when you’re in a relationship?

• What do you think is the most important thing in a relationship?

• Do you think it’s important to prepare for marriage now, even at your age?

• How does your relationship with Christ affect your relationship with others?

CHALLENGEEncourage each student to bring a friend to next week’s eGroup and to make a commitment to be at each group meeting during this study.

Begin to use the hashtag #WouldYouDateYou On instagram, twitter, and facebook.

#WOULDYOUDATEYOU

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WEEK 2: BE THE ONEICE BREAKER Have students begin to write out a vision statement for their dating relationships.

QUOTES & QUESTIONSUse these questions to guide discussion.

“Until you are the right one, you can even turn somebody who would’ve been a great partner with you into the wrong one because you’re not ready.”

Have you ever thought that if you found the right person you would be happy? From where do you get your happiness?

Are you in a relationship for which you are not ready? Would it be beneficial for you to take some “time off” from dating to become the one?

Pastor Steven talks about how we need to find our wholeness and completeness in Christ. What are some practical ways we can become complete in Christ?

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Student Curriculum 11Student Curriculum 11

“UNTIL YOU ARE THE RIGHT ONE, YOU CAN EVEN TURN SOMEBODY WHO WOULD’VE BEEN A GREAT PARTNER WITH YOU INTO THE WRONG ONE BECAUSE YOU’RE NOT READY.” - PASTOR STEVEN FURTICK

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“If the devil can’t destroy you, he’ll distract you.” Pastor goes on to share that if Satan can get us focused on what we don’t have then he can distract us from pursuing the things of God.

What are some ways that you’ve experienced the devil trying todistract you? (Leaders: have examples prepared.)

How can Satan use dating relationships to distract you? Has he distracted you in these ways in past relationships? How do you safeguard yourself in future relationships from these distractions?

“You need to develop such a great vision that it will give you restraint.”

[Reflection Question]What is the vision that you feel like God has placed on your life?

How can having a vision for your dating relationships give you restraint and help you resist sin and temptation?

“Preparation time is not the same as wasted time.”

“When we feel like we’re missing out on what those who are in a relationship have, we can flip the script and remind ourselves that they are missing out on what I have. That I am putting my time into an eternal relationship and building a strong foundation.”

Are you viewing your time as a single student as preparation time or wasted time?

What can you do to embrace the season of preparation? How can you use it to build a strong foundation?

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“When you focus on being the right person, you are able to let God be in control of your relationships. He can position you in one encounter, in one moment, in one day, in a place that you could never position yourself.”

In your life have you ever experienced God positioning you in a place where you would’ve never positioned yourself? For instance, a class you didn’t sign up to take but were placed in, a job you didn’t necessarily want but were given, a group of classmates you didn’t really know but were partnered with. What was your reaction? Looking back do you see that God was at work in that situation though it wasn’t what you were hoping for or expecting?

“Girls especially struggle with trying to manipulate situations to the way they want them to be.”

Can you share about a time when you’ve manipulated a situation to make it seem like it was more than it was?

Do you over-think or overanalyze interactions with guys to make it seem like a more significant interaction? In the end, how do you feel after overanalyzing a situation or manipulating it?

“If you’re heading full speed ahead trying to follow after Christ, trying to chase after God, then one day it’s going to happen that God can bring someone else on a parallel track. Don’t prematurely try to get yourself in position and get off the track of following after Jesus in order to reach back and grab someone who’s on a different path. Don’t get distracted looking around. But you’re running your race straight ahead. And at some point God will bring someone who is running the race beside you and you’ll be able to notice it.”

What are you chasing after? Relationships? Fame? Money? God? Are you running the right race? How can you get back to the right race? What can you do to set yourself up for success?

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ACTIVITYOn a notecard, or in their participant’s guide have each student write out 3 practical ways they can begin to become the right person.

Have each student illustrate on paper the building of a stronger foundation in their lives. They can include the things that they are doing, or need to be doing, to build a foundation capable of supporting the great vision God has for them.

PRAYERGod, thank you for always preparing us for what is ahead. We recognize that each student can be distracted from the race you have set before them. We pray that you would give us the ability to stay true to our race and seek your face in the midst of distraction. I pray that you will give all of us the confidence to embrace the season of life that we are in. We ask that you would quiet the enemy and teach us to turn our ear from him. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

CHALLENGEShare a few examples on social media of how dating is communicated in culture today using #WouldYouDateYou hashtag. You can use pinterest, tweets, lyrics, etc.

#WOULDYOUDATEYOU?


WEEK 3: CHANGING SEASONSICE BREAKER2 TRUTHS AND A LIE: RELATIONSHIP EDITION Each student shares 2 truths and 1 lie about relationships they’ve been in or what they want in a potential spouse.


“Dating should be preparation for marriage… Dating is not wrong, but it’s dangerous… You’re giving parts of your heart away.”

[Reflection Question] Have you ever experienced a destructive dating relationship? Have you been in one that did more harm than good?

Have you been in a relationship that has negatively affected you?

How can we begin to be honest with ourselves when we know that we shouldn’t be pursuing a certain relationship? What steps do we need to take to avoid those relationships?


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“You have to ask yourself if you’re strong enough spiritually to carry the weight of another relationship.”

What does it look like to be “strong enough spiritually” to have a positive, Christ-centered relationship?

“Sometimes if you enter into a relationship prematurely you limit your world. You end up shutting out the rest of the world.”

Have you ever had a friend that has gotten into a relationship and then ditched you?

Do you agree that it is not beneficial to shut out the rest of the world when you enter a relationship? If you are in a relationship, how can you make sure that you don’t shut out the rest of the world?

Pastor shared that one of the ways you can know you are ready for a dating relationship is by listening to certain people in your life to gain perspective. He speaks about the importance of having people, older and wiser, that can speak into your life spiritually.

Who are the people in your life that can give you Godly perspective? Will you be honest with them and take their perspective into consideration?

“If you are wanting to be in a relationship, what is your motivation?... What is the point of this relationship? Where is this going? Do you just need a sense of connection? Is it just for social status?”

Answer the above questions with your students.

What other questions should you be asking yourselves?

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“YOU HAVE TO ASK YOURSELF IF YOU’RE STRONG ENOUGH SPIRITUALLY TO CARRY THE WEIGHT OF ANOTHER RELATIONSHIP.”- PASTOR STEVEN FURTICK

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“Sin happens when I try to meet or fill a God-given desire outside of God’s intended design.”

Is there something in your life that you know you should be waiting for but you keep trying to meet that need?

“If the devil can get you focused on fulfilling that desire outside of its time the devil can get you off course.”

What are some ways that you’ve given too much of yourself in a relationship? (“Not just sexual, it’s emotional too.”)

“You know you’re ready to date when you don’t need to.”“I’m really not ready to have it until I don’t need it.”

What is the difference between wanting to date and needing to date?

“How can I follow this man if he’s not first submitted to following Christ?”

What are some indicators that a guy has submitted himself to follow Christ?

Are you willing to make these indicators a “make-or-break” in your relationships?

What are some indicators that a guy has submitted himself to follow Christ?

“I wouldn’t want to date anyone that I wouldn’t want to marry.”

[Reflection Question] Describe the characteristics of the person that you want to marry one day.


ACTIVITYHave everyone go around the room and share one characteristic of the type of person they want to marry.

CHALLENGE Instagram, tweet, or facebook the lyrics of your favorite love song. Use the hashtag #WouldYouDateYou

PRAYERFather, I thank you for each student in this room and how they are pursuing you. I pray that as they are in this season of life they learn how to seek you in their relationships. I pray that they see each other through the lens of Christ. I also pray for each of them as they pursue living a life of purity. Protect them and guide them. Amen.

#WOULDYOUDATEYOU

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WEEK 4: HOW FAR?ICE BREAKER Have every student write on a notecard one “story” of a dumb mistake they have made in the past. For example, “In third grade I had a computer test and had to memorize “QWERTYUIOP” and I couldn’t remember it so I wrote it on my hand and got caught.” As the leader, read all of the stories and have the whole group guess what story belongs to which student.


“When you put a boundary up you say ‘we aren’t going to build a relationship on the sexual, physical-relationship because that is important, but it is not most important. What is most important is the connection that is deeper than that -- values that we share, the way we communicate. I’m not going to get tricked into buying something that I think has a greater value than it does because I’m judging it based on the wrong criteria’.”

Pastor talked about how boundaries measure value. Would you say the friends you hang out with have good sexual boundaries? What does this tell you about their personal value?

[Reflection Question]Do you think the sexual boundaries you have established equate to an accurate value on yourself? Do your values make you a prized possession or not?

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“PURITY IS PERMISSION THAT GOD HAS GIVEN YOU FROM THIS DAY FORWARD. LOOK AT IT AS A BLESSING AND NOT A BURDEN.” - PASTOR STEVEN FURTICK

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“What are some boundaries that are very practical and specific, not just generally speaking. ‘Well I’m going to protect myself,’ well how are you going to protect yourself? You have to put up some security cameras, some zones you’re not going to enter.”

How are you going to protect yourself and stay pure in the future?

[Reflection Question]What “security cameras” and “do not enter zones” are you going to put up that you will not enter?

What kinds of sexual boundaries do you want to set in your next relationship? Are you willing to be called weird by your friends in order to stay sexually pure and avoid compromising your integrity before God?

“You need to not let what God wants to speak to your future be drowned out by what you may have done or didn’t do in the past.”

You do not have to feel totally redeemed from your past in order to live a pure life today. How can you learn to believe that truth this week?

“We need to level the ground and say that there are not two types of Christians: those that are pure and those that are not. We all have an impure standing before Christ. In God’s eyes we are all guilty except for the fact that he’s pardoned us.”

Do you struggle with believing that you are redeemed under the truth of Romans 8:1 “there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.”?

Which category have you been putting yourself in? Why have you been putting yourself there?

How have you felt like there is a divide between “pure” Christians and “impure” Christians? Have you felt judged in the past by those who maybe considered themselves “pure”?

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“God has the potential to turn your mistake into a miracle. I’m going to allow God to turn something the devil meant for evil into good. I’m going to get on a path to being who God’s called me to be so that maybe somebody else, whose made some mistakes, can look at my life and have hope.”

How can you use the mistakes that you’ve made in the past to bring hope to those around you?

“Purity is permission that God has given you from this day forward. Look at it as a blessing and not a burden.”

What do you think it means to be pure? What does that look like for you in your every day life?

What is the value in staying pure?

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PRAYERDear Jesus, We come before you today grateful for the life you have given us and your unconditional love. God, we have all made mistakes, and we pray that you would help us to use those mistakes as a ministry to reach our friends who are dealing with similar situations. We desire to see purity as a blessing and not a burden. Help us walk in the truth that our purity is only a gift from you and we do not have to earn it. Amen.

CHALLENGECapture on video some of your friends sharing the one thing guys should know about girls and vice versa. Post them on social media using the hashtag #WouldYouDateYou.

#WOULDYOUDATEYOU


WEEK 5: PINK & BLUEICE BREAKERHave each student write on a notecard the one thing that the opposite sex needs to know about my gender. As the leader, collect the cards and read them to the group.


“Women need to know how insecure men really are.”

Did you know that guys feel insecure and that they struggle with feeling insufficient?

How do you think you can encourage your guy friends in their faith without thinking it is your responsibility to make them feel secure and sufficient?

How can you find your security and identity in Christ?


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“Women need to know how physically stimulated men are.”

How can you protect yourself from lusting after girls? Are there things that you look at too long?

How often do you think about the fact that guys are stimulated by your physical appearance before you pick out what you are going to wear everyday?

What is your motivation when choosing what you wear in the morning?

How can you double check your outfit to make sure it is modest each day?

“Both men and women want to have something stable with one another but the triggers that get us there are very different.”

How do you think that we can allow God to satisfy some of these desires to be in a relationship so that we are not solely looking for a guy/ girl to fulfill these hopes?

“Guys need to know that they have the power to shape, for good or for bad, how girls see themselves.”

How often do you think about the fact that your actions affect girls? Whether it be a flirty text, a casual (or not so casual) side hug, or your words, do you think about the affect they will have?

Do you think you can evaluate how your actions may lead a girl on before doing it in the future?

How can you find your confidence in Jesus instead of a guy’s opinion?

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“BOTH MEN AND WOMEN WANT TO HAVE SOMETHING STABLE WITH ONE ANOTHER BUT THE TRIGGERS THAT GET US THERE ARE VERY DIFFERENT.”

- PASTOR STEVEN FURTICK

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“Men are meant to be leaders, but that doesn’t mean we can do whatever we want. But it means that we have a great responsibility to do it God’s way. It means we are going to give an account to God for how we manage the life that he gave us and the lives that we come into contact with.”

How does that make you feel knowing people want to depend on you for direction, and knowing girls expect you to lead?

“The number one thing that is important to a girl is how that guy makes her feel. If that guy makes her feel beautiful and feel like she is special and that she’s funny, it doesn’t matter if he has big muscles or the biggest muscles or not. A girl just wants a guy who really treats her right.”

How do you think your attitude towards girls, whether attractive to you or not, makes them feel?

What are some ways that you need to step up and become more of a gentleman?

Pastor eludes to the idea that dating is much more defensive so that it protects your marriage in the future.

Are you ready to make decisions in your current, or next relationship, that will protect your marriage? What might this look like?

ADDITIONAL QUESTIONS:

Do you think it is appropriate to talk about how badly you want a boyfriend on social media? What are your motives behind posting these? What do you think a guy thinks when he sees those types of posts?


PRAYERLord, We thank you that girls and guys have been created different and are able to compliment one another in relationships. We ask that we would learn to find our confidence in you. Guide us into right relationships and help us to always put you in the middle of every relationship. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

CHALLENGECreatively share your favorite thing you learned during #WouldYouDateYou on social media. Make a video, take a picture, sing a song, or get creative! Use #WouldYouDateYou hashtag.

#WOULDYOUDATEYOU

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WEEK 6: FORGIVENESSICE BREAKER Have everyone share one thing they’ve learned and are going to apply from Would You Date You?


“You don’t have to feel forgiven to be forgiven.”

Can you share about a time when you have experienced God’s forgiveness? Or, when you haven’t felt forgiven?

“If we really have the standard of who among us is without sin, whether sins of apathy, sexual sins, or watching four hours of TV every night mindlessly, then none of us have stones to throw.”

Can you think of a time where you have “thrown a stone” at someone, or judged them for a sin they committed?

Have you have felt judged by someone else because of a mistake you made?

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“YOU DON’T HAVE TO FEEL FORGIVEN TO BE FORGIVEN.”

- PASTOR STEVEN FURTICK

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“Knowing that we have all sinned and fallen short of the glory of God means that no matter what you have experienced or experimented with or what you haven’t, we all come to Christ on our knees and only by grace.”

Why is it so hard to forgive someone when they don’t deserve it?

Change quotation punctuation: “Jesus was [basically] telling the adulteress, ‘Don’t let all these people make you feel ashamed because you’ve “gone all the way” or maybe you’ve made more mistakes. Don’t let them make you feel like you’re excluded from the kingdom and don’t have grace’.”

Are there sexual things that you have done in your past that have made you feel ashamed?

How can you proactively resist sexual temptation?

“In the middle of all of that temptation and condemnation of the devil, God offers an invitation.”

Pastor continued to share about how Jesus says, “Go and sin no more.” How can you view this as an invitation to go and sin no more and experience freedom?

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PRAYERJesus, we are so thankful for the opportunity that we’ve had to go through this study as a group. I pray that you would protect each of these students from sexual temptation. I pray that you would place a vision inside their hearts that will give them restraint. Give them the courage to continue to purse a lifestyle of purity and holiness. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

CHALLENGEShare a story of how this study has impacted your life to the eStudents staff. E-mail them in at [email protected]

#WOULDYOUDATEYOU

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NOTES

Leader Guide36www.elevationchurch.org | @eStudents

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