•Learn to govern yourself and to be gentle and patient.•Never speak or act in anger.•Remember that, valuable as is the gift of speech, silence is often more valuable. •Learn to speak in a gentle tone of voice.•Learn to say kind and pleasant things when opportunity offers.•Do not neglect little things if they can affect the comfort of others.•Learn to deny yourself and prefer others.•Beware of meddlers and tale bearers.

General Rules for Victorian Etiquette

How to Behave:• The hostess should shake hands with her guests and

receive them cordially• If the number of guests is small, the hostess should walk

about the room, talking with her visitors• If large guest list, she should remain near the door and

have the aid of other ladies who should help entertain the guests, ask them to take refreshments and make introductions when necessary

Tea Etiquette

Dinner Etiquette

How to Behave:• Sit with proper posture.• The men serve the women first.• Do not smell or examine the food before you eat it.• You must stay at least an hour after dinner is finished before you

can leave.• Keep your hands above the table while dining.• Do not treat the wait staff poorly or make unseemly comments

about the food/service.• Soup should be eaten with a medium spoon and eaten quietly.• Eat slowly.• Do not feed animals while at the table.• Lastly, only use approved table ware to ferry food into your

mouth.

How to Behave• A gentleman should walk by the side of the lady. If the width of the aisle is

not sufficient to allow this, he should precede her.• The gentleman should take the outer seat; but if this is the best for seeing

or hearing, it belongs to the lady.• To leave a lady alone during the "waits" and going out to "get a drink" or

"to speak to a friend" is indicative of bad manners.• It is rude to whisper or talk during a performance. • It is in especially bad taste for lovers to indulge in any affectionate

demonstrations at such places.• A gentleman must see to it that the lady accompanying him is provided

with a program and a libretto if at the opera.• Upon escorting the lady back to her home, the gentleman should ask

permission to call upon her the next day, which request she should grant. She should, in her own sweet way, cause him to feel that he has conferred a genuine pleasure upon her by his invitation.

Theatre Etiquette

Theatre Etiquette, Continued

• A gentleman who can afford it should always provide a carriage on such occasions. If his means do not permit this, he should not embarrass himself by assuming the expense.

• In the event that the evening be stormy, he should not expect the lady to venture out without a carriage.

Street EtiquetteHow to Behave•Courtesy requires the return of all civil greetings--those of servants included. •In bowing, the head should be at best; a mere lowering of the eyelids,•In passing and re-passing on a public promenade or drive, bows are exchanged only at the first meeting. •In carrying canes, umbrellas, and packages, care should be taken that they do not inconvenience others.•In meeting on a street crossing, gentlemen should make way for ladies, and younger persons for older ones.•Ladies and gentlemen, when meeting on the sidewalk, should always pass to the right.•In the evening or whenever safety may require, a gentleman should give a lady his arm.•A gentleman may take two ladies upon his arms, but under no circumstances should the lady take the arms of two gentlemen.• A gentleman will assist a lady over from an omnibus or carriage, without waiting for the formality of an introduction.

Street Etiquette, Continued•No gentleman will smoke when walking with or standing in the presence of a lady standing in the street.•No gentleman should stand on the street corners, steps of hotels, or other public places and make remarks about ladies passing by.•A true lady will go quietly and unobtrusively about her business when on the street, never seeking to attract the attention of the opposite sex, at the same time recognizing acquaintances with a courteous bow, and friends with pleasant words of greeting.

Traveling Etiquette•Ladies will not permit their escorts to enter any apartment reserved for ladies only.•Ladies traveling alone should consult conductors or captains. •Ladies will thank gentlemen who raise or lower windows, coldly but politely. •If a person crushes or crowds you, and apologizes, accept the apology with a cold bow.•Gentlemen escorts must pay the most delicate care to the lady or ladies under their care. The attention must be unremitting.•At a hotel, the escort must see to everything, rooms, etc.•Gentlemen will commence conversations.•A gentleman may offer to escort a lady to the refreshment saloon.•A gentlemen may offer his newspaper.