Liberty Christian English Department Handbook 2012

Essays and research papers written at home should not contain careless errors. Certain words and phrases are

totally inappropriate for use in formal writing situations. While these words and phrases are in common usage for

informal conversation, they are grammatically incorrect, or they are empty expressions that add no meaning to a

sentence, or they are redundant. These areas of concern are listed in the “Yellow Pages” and should be avoided in one’s

writing. If these errors appear in writing, they will result in appropriate reductions in the paper’s grade. Learn to

recognize and avoid these errors; proofread each paper carefully and revise to avoid needless “hits.”

Also available in the “Yellow Pages” are guidelines for writing different types of essays and research papers,

descriptive word lists to help make papers more interesting, transition phrases, grammar helps, and check lists. All the

things found in the “Yellow Pages” will enable the writer to become stronger at written communication.

Keep the “Yellow Pages” in your binder at all times and reference it often.

Grammatical/Usage Errors

Sentence fragments Run-ons/comma splices Lack of parallel structure

Split infinitives Tense shifts Its—used incorrectly

There and Their--used incorrectly Using would of instead of would have Misspelled words

Ending sentences with a preposition

Be certain the following are used correctly

Pronoun-antecedent agreement Pronoun reference Hyphenation at the end of a line

Capitalization of titles Use of apostrophes Use of commas

Punctuation of quotations Proper use of numbers Proper use of titles

Personal pronouns and abbreviations are too familiar and colloquial for informal or formal writings. Do not use any

of the following:

I, me, my, mine, myself, (unless in a personal anecdote) We, us, our, ourselves

You, your, yours, yourself, yourselves Etc.

& (never use the ampersand or other abbreviations for “and” in writing) b/c (instead of because)

cause (instead of because) w/o (instead of without) or any other similar abbreviations

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The following are examples of empty expressions. Avoid them.

This is There is I think Which is

I feel I believe That is Who is

Never use any of the following words or expressions in a formal essay:

Is when because of the fact that This paper will explain

during the month of The reason is because as will be shown

due to the fact that Last but not least The quote shows

as a result of First of all This quote means

it seems as if as has been clearly shown In this essay I will

at the present time as anyone can see In this paper I will

always there for me for the reasons stated The book I read was

being as As these examples show In conclusion

Lastly thru obviously

The following are examples of empty modifiers that should be avoided.

interesting many really awesome

a lot hopefully very some

Redundancies are the needless repetition of words and ideas. Avoid using them or anything similar.

continue further pretty in ten in number descend down

exact same revert back rebound back sufficiently enough

refer back cooperate together visible to the eye center around

each separate thing combine together whole entire

Judgmental statements: avoid using these or anything similar.

the best book this great novel a brilliant study the best writer

a brilliant play most famous most famous writer brilliant short story

Properly document any quotations.

Do not use contractions in formal writing.

Only use appropriate language.

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Literary Terms

Alliteration is the practice of beginning several consecutive or neighboring words with the same sound: e.g., "The

twisting trout twinkled below."

Allusion is a reference to a mythological, literary, or historical person, place or thing: e.g., "He met his Waterloo."

Antithesis is a direct juxtaposition of structurally parallel words, phrases, or clauses for the purpose of contrast:

e.g., "Sink or swim."

Apostrophe is a form of personification in which the absent or dead are spoken to as if present and the inanimate,

as if animate. These are all addressed directly: e.g., "Milton! Thou shoulds't be living at this hour."

Assonance is the repetition of accented vowel sounds in a series of words: e.g., the words "cry" and "side" have

the same vowel sound and so are said to be in assonance.

Consonance is the repetition of a consonant sound within a series of words to produce a harmonious effect: e.g.,

"And each slow dusk a drawing-down of blinds." The "d" sound is in consonance. The "s" sound is also in consonance.

Details are the facts revealed by the author or speaker that support the attitude or tone in a piece of poetry or

prose.

Diction is a word choice intended to convey a certain effect.

Figures of speech are words or phrases that describe one thing in terms of something else. They always involve

some sort of imaginative comparison between seemingly unlike things. Not meant to be taken literally, figurative

language is used to produce images in a reader's mind and to express ideas in fresh, vivid, and imaginative ways. The

most common examples of figurative language, or figures of speech, used in both prose and poetry, are simile, metaphor,

and personification.

Flashback is a scene that interrupts the action of a work to show a previous event.

Foreshadowing is the use of hints or clues in narrative to suggest future action.

Hyperbole is a deliberate, extravagant, and often outrageous exaggeration: e.g., "The shot heard 'round the

world." It may be used for either serious or comic effect.

Imagery consists of the words or phrases a writer uses to represent persons, object, actions, feeling, and ideas

descriptively by appealing to the senses.

Irony occurs in three types. Verbal irony occurs when a speaker or narrator says one thing while meaning the

opposite. An example of verbal irony occurs in the statement, "It is easy to stop smoking. I've done it many times."

Situational irony occurs when a situation turns out differently from what one would normally expect--though often the

twist is oddly appropriate: e.g., a deep sea diver drowning in the bathtub is ironic. Dramatic irony occurs when a

character or speaker says or does something that has different meanings from what he or she thinks it means, though the

audience and other characters understand the full implications of the speech or action: e.g., Oedipus curses the murderer

of Laius, not realizing that he is himself the murderer and so is cursing himself.

Metaphor is a comparison of two unlike things not using "like" or "as": e.g., "Time is money."

Mood is the atmosphere or predominant emotion in a literary work.

Motivation is a circumstance or set of circumstances that prompts a character to act in a certa in way or that

determines the outcome of a situation or work.

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Narration is the telling of a story in writing or speaking.

Onomatopoeia (imitative harmony) is the use of words that mimic the sounds they describe: e.g., "hiss," "buzz,"

and "bang." When onomatopoeia is used on an extended scale in a poem, it is called imitative harmony.

Oxymoron is a form of paradox that combines a pair of opposite terms into a single unusual expression: e.g.,

"sweet sorrow" or "cold fire."

Paradox occurs when the elements of a statement contradict each other. Although the statement many appear

illogical, impossible, or absurd, it turns out to have a coherent meaning that reveals a hidden truth: e.g., "Much madness

is divinest sense."

Personification is a kind of metaphor that gives inanimate objects or abstract ideas human characteristics: e.g.,

"The wind cried in the dark."

Plot is the sequence of events or actions in a short story, novel, play, or narrative poem.

Point of view is the perspective from which a narrative is told.

Prosody is the study of sound and rhythm in poetry..

The protagonist is the central character of a drama, novel, short story, or narrative poem. Conversely, the

antagonist is the character who stands directly opposed to the protagonist.

Pun is a play on words that are identical or similar in sound but have sharply diverse meanings. Puns can have

serious as well as humorous uses: e.g., when Mercutio is bleeding to death in Romeo and Juliet, he says to his friends, "Ask

for me tomorrow, and y shall find me a grave man."

Repetition is the deliberate use of any element of language more than once--sound, word, phrase, sentence,

grammatical pattern, or rhythmical pattern.

Rhyme is the repetition of sounds in two or more words or phrases that appear close to each other in a poem.

End rhyme occurs at the end of lines; internal rhyme, within a line. Slant rhyme is approximate rhyme. A rhyme scheme

is the pattern of end rhyme.

Sarcasm is the use of verbal irony in which a person appears to be praising something but is actually insulting it:

e.g., "As I fell down the stairs headfirst, I heard her say, 'Look at that coordination.' "

Setting is the time and place in which events in a short story, novel, play, or narrative take place.

Shift or turn refers to a change or movement in a piece resulting form an epiphany, realization, or insight gained

by the speaker, a character, or the reader.

Simile is a comparison of two different things or ideas through the use of the words "like" or "as." It is definitely

stated comparison in which the poet says one things is like another: e.g., "The warrior fought like a lion."

Style is the writer's characteristic manner of employing language.

Suspense is the quality of a short story, novel, play, or narrative poem that makes the reader or audience

uncertain or tense about the outcome of events.

A symbol is any object, person, place, or action that has both meaning in itself and that stands for something

larger than itself, such as quality, attitude, belief, or value: e.g., the land turtle in Steinbeck's Grapes of Wrath suggests or

reflect the toughness and resilience of the migrant workers.

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Theme is the central message of a literary work. It is not the same as the subject, which can be expressed in a

word or two: courage, survival, war, pride, etc. The theme is the idea the author wishes to covey about that subject. It is

expresses as a sentence or general statement about life or human nature. A literary work can have more than one theme,

and most themes are not stated but are implied. An example of a theme on the subject of pride might be that pride often

precedes a fall.

Tone is the writer's or speaker's attitude toward a subject, character, or audience, and it is conveyed through the

author's choice of words and detail. Tone can be serious, humorous, sarcastic, indignant, objective, etc.

A VOCABULARY FOR DESCRIBING LANGUAGE

TONE

TONE (POSITIVE)

Happiness

amiable cheery contented ecstatic elevated

elevated enthusiastic exuberant joyful jubilant

sprightly

Pleasure

cheerful enraptured peaceful playful pleasant

satisfied amused appreciative whimsical

Friendliness, Courtesy

accommodating approving caressing comforting compassionate

confiding cordial courteous forgiving gracious

helpful indulgent kindly obliging pitying

polite sociable solicitous soothing sympathetic

tender tolerant trusting

Animation

ardent breathless brisk crisp eager

excited earnest ecstatic energetic exalted

feverish hasty hearty hopeful inspired

lively passionate rapturous vigorous impassioned

Romance

affectionate amorous fanciful ideal tender

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Tranquility

calm hopeful meditative optimistic serene

relaxed soothing spiritual dreamy

TONE (NEUTRAL)

General

authoritative baffled ceremonial clinical detached

disbelieving factual formal informative learned

matter-of-fact nostalgic objective questioning reminiscent

restrained sentimental shocked urgent

Rational/Logical

admonitory argumentative candid coaxing critical

curious deliberate didactic doubting explanatory

frank incredulous indignant innocent insinuating

instructive oracular pensive persuasive pleading

preoccupied puzzled sincere studied thoughtful

uncertain unequivocal probing

Self-Control

solemn serious serene simple mild

gentle temperate imperturbable nonchalant cool

wary cautious prudent

Apathy

blasé bored colorless defeated dispassionate

dry dull feeble helpless hopeless

indifferent inert languid monotonous resigned

sluggish stoical sophisticated vacant

TONE (HUMOR/IRONY/SARCASM)

amused bantering bitter caustic comical

condescending contemptuous cynical disdainful droll

facetious flippant giddy humorous insolent

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ironic irreverent joking malicious mock-heroic

mocking mock-serious patronizing pompous quizzical

ribald ridiculing sarcastic sardonic satiric

scornful sharp silly taunting teasing

whimsical wry belittling haughty insulting

playful hilarious uproarious

TONE(NEGATIVE)

General

accusing aggravated agitated angry arrogant

artificial audacious belligerent bitter brash

childish choleric coarse cold condemnatory

condescending contradictory critical desperate disappointed

disgruntled disgusted disinterested passive furious

harsh hateful hurtful indignant inflammatory

insulting irritated manipulative obnoxious quarrelsome

shameful superficial surly testy

threatening uninterested

Sadness

despairing despondent foreboding gloomy bleak

melancholy maudlin regretful tragic

Pain

annoyed bored crushed disappointed disgusted

dismal fretful irritable miserable mournful

pathetic plaintive querulous sore sorrowful

sour sulky sullen troubled worried

Unfriendliness

accusing belittling boorish cutting derisive

disparaging impudent pitiless reproving scolding

severe spiteful suspicious unsociable reproachful

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Anger

belligerent furious livid wrathful savage

indignant enraged

Passion

fierce frantic greedy voracious hysterical

insane impetuous impulsive jealous nervous

reckless wild

Arrogance/Self-Importance

boastful bold condescending contemptuous pretentious

pompous supercilious pedantic didactic bombastic

self-righteous assured confident defiant dignified

domineering egotistical imperious impressive smug

knowing lofty peremptory profound proud

resolute sententious stiff saucy

Sorrow/Fear/Worry

aggravated anxious apologetic apprehensive concerned

confused depressed disturbed embarrassing fearful

grave hollow morose nervous numb

ominous paranoid pessimistic poignant remorseful

serious staid enigmatic

Submission/Timidity

aghast alarmed ashamed astonished astounded

awed contrite self-deprecatory docile fawning

groveling ingratiating meek modest obedient

timid resigned respectful reverent servile

shy submissive surprised unpretentious terrified

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VERBS

These verbs will be especially effective when the subject is the author or a character. They are excellent replacements for “be”

verbs and instrumental in the formulation of thesis and theme statements. Careful use of these verbs can result in precise

identification of an author’s purpose.

VERBS FOR LITERARY ANALYSIS

accentuates accepts achieves adopts advocates

affects alleviates allows alludes alters

analyzes approaches argues ascertains assesses

assumes attacks attempts attributes avoids

bases believes challenges changes characterizes

chooses chronicles claims comments compares

compels completes concerns concludes condescends

conducts conforms confronts considers contends

contests contrasts contributes conveys convinces

defines defies demonstrates depicts describes

delineates despises details determines develops

deviates differentiates differs directs disappoints

discovers discusses displays disputes disrupts

distinguishes distorts downplays dramatizes elevates

elicits emphasizes encounters enhances enriches

enumerates envisions evokes excludes expands

experiences explains expresses extends extrapolates

fantasizes focuses forces foreshadows functions

generalizes guides heightens highlights hints

holds honors identifies illustrates illuminates

imagines impels implies includes indicates

infers inspires intends interprets interrupts

inundates justifies juxtaposes lambasts laments

lampoons lists maintains makes manages

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manipulates minimizes moralizes muses notes

observes opposes organizes overstates outlines

patronizes performs permits personifies persuades

ponders portrays postulates prepares presents

presumes produces projects promotes proposes

provides qualifies questions rationalizes reasons

recalls recites recollects records recounts

reflects refers regards regrets rejects

represents results reveals ridicules satirizes

seems sees selects specifies speculates

states strives suggests summarizes supplies

supports suppresses symbolizes sympathizes traces

understands vacillates values verifies

VERBS TO USE INSTEAD OF EXEMPLIFIES

appears asserts attests to certifies confirms

connotes corroborates defines demonstrates denotes

depicts discloses elucidates endorses establishes

evinces exhibits expounds exposes intimates

manifests points to proves ratifies relates

shows substantiates suggests typifies upholds validates

ADJECTIVES

DESCRIBING THE AUTHOR

cultured intellectual erudite well-read sagacious

sensible rational philosophic analytical imaginative

perceptive visionary prophetic optimistic broad-minded

idealistic spiritual orthodox unorthodox sympathetic

sophisticated original whimsical humorous conservative

liberal progressive radical reactionary unprejudiced

realistic romantic shallow superficial bigoted

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opinionated intolerant hypocritical fanatical provincial

narrow-minded sentimental skeptical cynical

DESCRIBING STYLE/CONTENT

lucid graphic intelligible explicit precise

exact concise succinct condensed pithy

piquant aphoristic syllogistic allusive metaphorical

poetic prosaic plain simple homespun

pure vigorous forceful eloquent sonorous

fluent glib natural restrained smooth

polished classical artistic bombastic extravagant

rhetorical turgid pompous grandiose obscure

vague diffuse verbose pedantic ponderous

ungraceful harsh abrupt labored awkward

unpolished crude vulgar formal artificial

utilitarian humanistic pragmatic naturalistic impressionistic

subjective melodramatic fanciful authentic plausible

credible recondite controversial mystical improbable

absurd trivial commonplace heretical

DESCRIBING DICTION

high or formal low or informal neutral precise exact

concrete abstract plain simple homespun

esoteric learned cultured literal figurative

connotative symbolic picturesque pretentious literary

provincial colloquial slang idiomatic inexact

euphemistic trite obscure pedantic bombastic

grotesque vulgar jargon emotional obtuse

moralistic ordinary scholarly insipid proper

old-fashioned

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DESCRIBING SYNTAX

loose sentence periodic balanced interrupted simple

compound complex compound-complex declarative interrogative

imperative exclamatory telegraphic antithetic inverted

euphonic rhythmical epigrammatic emphatic incoherent

rambling tortuous jerky cacophonic monotonous

spare austere unadorned jumbled chaotic

obfuscating journalistic terse laconic mellifluous

musical lilting lyrical elegant solid

DESCRIBING ORGANIZATION/STRUCTURE/POINT OF VIEW

omniscient chronological flashback flash forward limited

step-by-step objective subjective nostalgic reminiscent

contemplative reflective clinical impersonal dramatic

DESCRIBING IMAGERY (Substitute these precise adjectives for less precise ones such as vivid, colorful, and powerful.)

bucolic pastoral gustatory olfactory tactile

kinetic kinesthetic sacred auditory religious

animal war/military chaotic

DESCRIBING CHARACTERS (Great substitutions for pretty and ugly!)

Physical Qualities

manly loathsome robust hardy sturdy

strapping stalwart muscular brawny lovely

fair comely handsome dainty delicate

graceful elegant shapely attractive winsome

ravishing dapper immaculate graceless dexterous

adept skillful agile nimble active

lively spirited vivacious weak feeble

sickly frail decrepit emaciated cadaverous

hideous homely course repulsive ghastly

unkempt slovenly awkward clumsy ungainly

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bizarre grotesque incongruous repellent repugnant

Mental Qualities (Great substitutions for smart and stupid! Which comments would you like to see on your papers?)

educated erudite scholarly wise astute

intellectual precocious capable competent gifted

apt rational reasonable sensible shrewd

prudent observant clever ingenious inventive

subtle cunning crafty wily unintelligent

unschooled unlettered ignorant illiterate inane

irrational foolish fatuous vacuous eloquent

simple thick-skulled idiotic imbecilic witless

deranged demented articulate

Moral Qualities (Great substitutions for good and bad!)

idealistic innocent virtuous faultless righteous

guileless upright exemplary chaste pure

undefiled temperate abstentious austere ascetic

puritanical truthful honorable trustworthy straightforward

decent respectable wicked corrupt degenerate

notorious vicious incorrigible dissembling infamous

immoral unprincipled reprobate depraved indecent

ribald vulgar intemperate opportunistic dissolute

deceitful dishonest unscrupulous dishonorable base

vile foul recalcitrant philandering

Spiritual Qualities (More great substitutions for good and bad!)

religious reverent pious devout faithful

regenerate holy saintly angelic skeptical

agnostic atheistic irreligious charitable irreverent

profane sacrilegious materialistic carnal godless

diabolic fiendlike blasphemous unregenerate altruistic

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Social Qualities (Terrific substitutions for nice and mean!)

civil amicable contentious unpolished sullen

tactful courteous cooperative genial affable

hospitable gracious amiable cordial congenial

convivial jovial jolly urbane suave

anti-social acrimonious quarrelsome antagonistic misanthropic

discourteous impudent impolite insolent ill-bred

ill-mannered unrefined rustic provincial boorish

brusque churlish fawning obsequious sniveling

grumpy fractious crusty peevish petulant

waspish taciturn reticent gregarious garrulous

ADVERBS

above absolutely abundantly accidentally afterward

already almost always amazingly angrily

anywhere anxiously audibly away badly

barely beforehand belatedly below best

better brashly brilliantly briskly brutally

busily carefully cleverly completely conditionally

consequently considerably consistently constantly conveniently

cordially currently deceitfully decidedly demurely

differently earlier early easily effectively

even eventually ever everywhere exactly

extremely falsely far farther farthest

faster fastest fiercely finally flagrantly

foolishly forcibly forever frankly frequently

frivolously further furthermore furthest generously

gently gradually gratefully hard hastily

heartily hopefully hypothetically immediately important

independently inside joyfully justly lately

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later less least long marginally

meaningfully merrily more mostly narrowly

near neatly never noisily not

notably now nowhere occasionally often

outside partially poorly positively precisely

presently provisionally quickly quietly quite

really recently relatively remarkably sadly

secondly seldom severely sharply short

significantly simply sometimes somewhere soon

soundly surely surprisingly terribly then

there tightly tomorrow unconditionally unexpectedly

uniquely unusually usually weakly well

wholly worse worst

Transition Words

Transitions are words or phrases that connect an author's thoughts, thereby making a composition coherent. They come

in what seems like an infinite number of varieties, yet transitional strategies do fall into categories.

Addition:

additionally in addition after all also and

another as well as besides for one thing further

furthermore including likewise let alone moreover

not to mention similarly specifically too ultimately

along with in the first place equally important above and beyond

Reference:

as for concerning considering in a like manner such as

the fact that with regards to regarding on the same subject by the same token

Clarification, Illustration:

as I have said as an illustration after all by comparison incidentally

in general for example for instance to illustrate specifically

such as the fact that in other words to put it another way

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Emphasis:

above all actually again in fact besides

certainly especially indeed particular naturally

to emphasize as a matter of fact for this reason more importantly to repeat

Contrast:

although though but conversely however

in spite of instead in contrast not only notwithstanding

nevertheless nonetheless otherwise still whereas

(and) yet despite on the contrary on the other hand to say nothing of

Concession:

admittedly all the same at least either way granted

in any case in any event regardless be that as it may whatever happens

Cause or Reason:

because being that due to ___ given that inasmuch as

in view of ___ seeing that since owing to the fact for the reason that

Effect or Result:

accordingly and that is why as a result consequently hence

so therefore thus as a consequence because of this

Purpose:

in order to in hope that for this purpose for that reason so

so that to this end with this in mind

Condition, Consequence:

if so if not in that case lest once

otherwise whether or not whether that being the case under the circumstances

Time and Sequence:

about after a few days afterward at length as soon as

before during eventually finally later

lastly immediately in the past meanwhile next

since still subsequently then thereafter

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until when whenever while at the same time

first (second...) in the meantime soon to begin with yesterday

Digress and Resume:

by the way incidentally before I forget by and by anyhow

anyway at any rate in any case to change the subject to get back to the point

Summarize:

all in all altogether as a result as has been said in simpler terms

in brief in conclusion in summary in other words on the whole

to summarize to sum it up as we have seen to put it differently make a long story short

THE LANGUAGE OF ARGUMENT

VERBS

attack charge claim propose defend

challenge qualify counter repudiate allege

validate confirm affirm argue assume

answer agree/disagree verify resolve concede

grant generalize specify debate dispute

assert

NOUNS

warrant validity plausibility practicality proposal

solution resolution bias credibility accountability

vested interest conflict of interests enthymeme pathos ethos

logos counterargument premise syllogism deduction

induction fallacy ad hominem exigence speaker

audience purpose message precedent testimonial

rebuttal antithesis non sequitur circular reasoning bandwagon

refutation slippery slope anecdote advocacy rhetoric

invective proponent assertion adherent red herring

qualifier begging the question justification cause/effect

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THEME VOCABULARY

Brendan Kenny’s List of Abstract Ideas for Forming Theme Statements:

alienation ambition appearance v. reality betrayal bureaucracy chance/fate/luck children courage/cowardice cruelty/violence custom/tradition defeat/failure despair/discontent/disillusionment domination/suppression dreams/fantasies persistence/perseverance poverty prejudice time/eternity

duty education escape exile faith/loss of faith falsity/pretence family/parenthood free will/willpower game/contests/sports greed guilt heart v. reason heaven/paradise/Utopia home prophecy repentance revenge/retribution war

identity illusion/innocence initiation instinct journey (literal or psychological) law/justice loneliness/solitude loyalty/disloyalty materialism memory/the past mob psychology music/dance patriotism ritual/ceremony scapegoat/victim social status (class) the supernatural women/feminism

IDENTIFYING THEME

Method A (sample from Writing Essays about Literature by Kelley Griffith):

Subject

1. What is the work about? Provide a one to three word answer. See “Theme Vocabulary” above.

Theme

2. What is the author’s message with regard to #1 as it pertains to the human condition? In other words, what

comment does the work make on human nature, the human condition, human motivation, or human ambition?

3. In identifying and stating theme, be sure that the observation

(a) is not too terse to express the complexity of the human experience

(b) avoids moralizing words such as should and ought

(c) avoids specific reference to plot and characters

(d) avoids absolute words such as anyone, all, none, everything, and everyone

4. Using both dependent and independent clauses, write a complex sentence which fulfills the requirements above

and which explains one of the major themes of the work.

Sample for Anna Karenina:

Subject: sacred versus profane love

Theme: Although people can, through no fault of their own, become entrapped in long-lasting and destructive

relationships, “sacred” commitments, like marriage and parenthood, take precedence over extramarital “loves,” no

matter how passionate and deeply felt they may be.

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Method B (adapted from material by Brendan Kenny):

1. Theme is an abstract idea (See “Theme Vocabulary” above.) coupled with a universal comment or observation

which addresses one of the following: (a) human motivation (b) the human condition (c) human ambition.

2. A strategy for discovering a work’s theme is to apply questions about these areas to the work.

* What image of humankind emerges from the work? If people are good, what good things do they do? If

people are no good, how and to what extent are they flawed?

*What moral issues are raised in the work? Who serves as the “moral center” of the work? Who is the one

person with whom the author vests right action and right thought? What values does the moral center embody?

* Is the society or social scheme portrayed by the author life-enhancing or life-destroying? What causes and

perpetuates this society?

* What control over their lives do the characters have? Are there forces beyond their control?

* How do the title, subtitle, epigraph, and names of the characters relate to the theme?

3. In identifying and stating theme, be sure that the observation

(a) is not too terse to express the complexity of the human experience

(b) avoids moralizing words such as should and ought

(c) avoids specific reference to plot and characters

(d) avoids absolute words such as anyone, all, none, everything, and everyone

4. Sample for “The Most Dangerous Game”:

Men, when they are courageous and lucky, even in a hostile environment, can overcome the odds against their

survival.

Sample for The Catcher in the Rye:

In the presence of corruption, escape may provide some hope of preserving our innocence but denies our

responsibility to alter, rebel against or sometimes grow to accept what we see as threatening.

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Writing Errors to Avoid

#1: Incorrect Punctuation of Two Independent Clauses

(An independent clause has a subject and a verb and can stand alone as a sentence.)

Good writers know that correct punctuation is important to writing clear sentences. If you misuse a mark of punctuation, you risk confusing your reader and appearing careless. Notice how the placement of commas significantly affects the meaning of these sentences:

Mr. Jones, says Ms. Moore, is a boring old fool. Mr. Jones says Ms. Moore is a boring old fool.

Writers often combine independent clauses in a single compound sentence to emphasize the relationship between ideas. The punctuation of compound sentences varies depending upon how you connect the clauses.

The rules are:

(a) Separate independent clauses with a comma when using a coordinating conjunction (and, but, or, for, nor, so, yet).

(b) Separate independent clauses with a semi-colon when no coordinating conjunction is used. (c) Separate independent clauses with a semi-colon when using a conjunctive adverb (e.g., however,

therefore, thus, consequently, finally, nevertheless).

Examples of Correct Punctuation, Rule a: 1. We all looked worse than usual, for we had stayed up studying for the exam. 2. This room is unbelievably hot, and I think that I am going to pass out. Examples of Correct Punctuation, Rule b: 1. We all looked worse than usual; we had stayed up all night studying for the exam. 2. This room is unbelievably hot; I think I am going to pass out.

Examples of Correct Punctuation, Rule c: 1. We all looked worse than usual; however, we were relieved we had studied. 2. The discussion is really interesting; nevertheless, I think I am going to pass out.

Punctuation Pattern Guide:

1. Independent clause.

2. Independent clause; independent clause.

3. Independent clause, and independent clause. but for or nor so yet

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4 . Independent clause; therefore, independent clause. however nevertheless consequently furthermore moreover

5. Clause , nonessential clause, clause. phrase phrase or word phrase or word or word

6. If dependent clause, independent clause. Because Since When While Although After

7. Independent clause if dependent clause. because since when while although after

#2: Misuse of the Apostrophe

Use the apostrophe to indicate possession and to mark omitted letters in contractions. Writers often misuse apostrophes when forming plurals and possessives. The basic rule is quite simple: use the apostrophe to indicate

possession, not a plural. Yes, the exceptions to the rule may seem confusing: hers has no apostrophe, and it's is not possessive. Nevertheless, with a small amount of attention, you can learn the rules and the exceptions of apostrophe use.

Possessives

Form the possessive case of a singular noun by adding 's (even if the word ends in s). Hammurabi's code, Dickens's last novel, James's cello

Form the possessive case of a plural noun by adding an apostrophe after the final letter if it is an s or by adding 's if the final letter is not an s.

the students' desks, the children's toys

Remember: the apostrophe never designates the plural form of a noun. A common error is the use of the apostrophe to form a non-possessive plural. Compare the following correct sentences:

The student's disk was missing. Several students' disks were missing. The students searched for their missing disks.

Possessive pronouns, such as yours, hers, its, and ours, take no apostrophe. The decision is yours.

Indefinite pronouns, such as anyone, everybody, no one, somebody, use the singular possessive form. Somebody's dog stayed in our suite last night.

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Contractions

The apostrophe is used to mark omitted letters in contractions. (Note: contractions are often considered too informal for academic writing.)

Avoid the dreadful it's/its confusion.

It's is a contraction for it is. It's is never a possessive. Its is the possessive for it.

As Professors Strunk and White remind us in Elements of Style, “It's a wise dog that scratches its own fleas” (1).

#3: Pronoun Problems

Pronouns are useful as substitutes for nouns, but a poorly chosen pronoun can obscure the meaning of a sentence. Common pronoun errors include:

Unclear Pronoun Reference

A pronoun must refer to a specific noun (the antecedent). Ambiguous pronoun reference creates confusing sentences. Poor Example: Writers should spend time thinking about their arguments to make sure they are not superficial.

(Unclear antecedent: who or what are superficial?)

If a whiff of ambiguity exists, use a noun: A key difference between banking crises of today and yesterday is that today’s crises have greater global impact. Vague Subject Pronoun

Pronouns such as it, there, and this often make weak subjects. Poor Example: Pope Gregory VII forced Emperor Henry IV to wait three days in the snow at Canossa before granting him an

audience. It was a symbolic act. (To what does it refer? Forcing the Emperor to wait? The waiting? The granting of the audience? The audience? The entire sentence?)

Use a pronoun as subject only when its antecedent is crystal clear.

We don’t want [the writer] to describe every ride at Disneyland or tell us that the Grand Canyon is awesome… If one of the rides at Disneyland got

stuck or if somebody fell into the awesome Grand Canyon, that would be worth hearing about. – William Zinsser

Ideas and content is what you have to say – the reason for writing your paper. Everything about your writing begins

with that message. If you can choose your own topic, pick something important to you, that you know a lot about. If

someone picks the topic for you, look for a way to connect it to your own experience. That way you can use what you

know.

Keep it small. If your topic is too big (like ―Animals of Africa‖) you‘ll wind up trying to tell too much and not be able to

focus on any one idea long enough to make it clear. Skinny it down (―Why Lions Hunt in Pairs‖).

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Surprise your reader with what you know. Don‘t spend time on things that anyone else could write. Don‘t say,

―Cooking in a restaurant can be hard work.‖ Even people who don‘t cook can figure that out. Instead, tell what goes on in

the kitchen when an angry customer sends the food back. That would be an interesting insight!

One more hint: Make your ideas crystal clear. Avoid general statements like ―Our trip was exciting.‖ Exciting how?

Instead say, ―I chased two very hungry black bears away from our camping supplies.‖ Specific details that help the reader

picture what is happening can make or break your writing.

I look back and forth and see potential endings and titles and leads. I’m looking for a trail through the material I have… -- Donald Murray.

Without a clear trail, your ideas collapse or crash into each other. It is the organization that gives your writing

direction and helps the reader move through the ideas in a purposeful way.

Begin with a strong lead so you hook the reader right away. Don‘t settle for ―Once upon a time‖ or ―My paper is about

dogs.‖ Think about your lead working like a fishing lure or fly that dangles right in front of the nose of the fish until it just

can‘t resist and takes a big, committed bite.

If you take a look at your whole piece of writing, it should carefully build to the most important moment or point you

are trying to make. Toss your reader interesting details that work like stepping stones – each getting the reader closer and

closer to the key idea or event.

The order of your details is really important, too. Ideas shouldn‘t dive bomb the reader out of the blue; they should

come at just the right time to help the reader understand. Everything needs to fit together with a strong connecting line

back to the main idea.

Watch out for getting bogged down in trivial details (what color the help‘s socks were, or whether she had milk on

her cereal.) Keep moving right along. And when you reach the end of the story or make your last point, STOP! Make that

last sentence count by leaving the reader with something to think about. Good endings are tough, but don‘t fall into the pit

with ―And I woke up and it was only a dream,‖ or ―No you know the three reasons why Americans should carpool.‖

Readers won‘t feel satisfied with these endings and neither will you.

Voice separates writing that is read from writing that is not read…Voice is the writer revealed. – Donald Murray

Voice is YOU coming through your writing. It‘s what gives your writing personality, flavor, style, a sound all its own.

Only you can give your writing this special touch because no one else sees the world quite the way you do. Your voice is a

distinctively yours as your fingerprints.

Honesty is important to create voice in your writing. You must say what you truly think and feel – not what you think

someone else might want to hear. This takes courage. You must write from the inside out – from the part of you that‘s in

touch with your feelings. This means you need to know yourself, listen to yourself, and trust those thoughts and feelings.

Sometimes the very act of writing will help you discover what you truly think and feel. It‘s risky, a bit scary, and exciting,

too.

Think about your reader as you write. Write directly to that person just as if he or she was standing there talking to

you. Be yourself. Don‘t try to impress the reader. Readers will respond to your sincerity, honesty, and conviction.

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Write with confidence, as if you know what you‘re talking about and it is utterly fascinating. Your enthusiasm will be

contagious and will draw the reader into your writer‘s web of ideas and feelings.

I do not choose the right word; I get rid of the wrong one. – A.E. Housman

As you read and listen to other people speak, you cultivate a rich vocabulary of precise and colorful words that let you say

exactly what you want – not come close, but nail it right on the head. This is the essence of good word choice. Every new

word increases your power.

In his book, On Writing Well, William Zinsser says, ―Verbs are the most important of all your tools. They push the

sentence forward and give it momentum…flail, poke, dazzle, squash, beguile, pamper, swagger, wheedle, vex. Probably no

other language has such a vast supply of verbs so bright with color.‖ Learn to develop a critical eye toward verbs in your

work. Are they active, powerful, full of energy and pizzazz?

Keep the vocabulary natural. Never write to impress or you‘ll end up with sentences like this: ―He cultivated his way

into the kitchen,‖ or ―Our friendship was highly lucrative.‖ In an attempt to use words that were bigger, these writers

forgot to make sure they made sense. A thesaurus can be a good friend to a writer, but only if used sparingly and with

thought.

Your writing works best with specific words carefully chosen to create a vivid picture in the reader‘s mind. Play around

with the words until they sound good. Don‘t say, ―The dog was big and mean.‖ Say ―A hundred pounds of snarling

yellow fur launched itself from the porch, straining at a rope thin as spaghetti.‖ Now that‘s something we can see

happening!

Clarity. Clarity. Clarity. When you become hopelessly mired in a sentence, it is best to start fresh… -- Strunk and White The Elements of Style

Read what you write aloud and listen to the rhythm of the language. Do you like what you hear? Does it make you

sit up and take notice, or are you lulled to sleep by the sing-song sameness of each sentence pattern? Writers who read a

lot notice that they develop a feeling for sentences that some people call ―sentence sense.‖ It‘s that sense that there‘s more

than one way to say a thing – but some ways just sound better than others.

Your sentences should be clear; they should make sense. Cut the deadwood. Don‘t say ―At this point in time we feel we

are about ready to begin to fight.‖ Say, ―Now we‘re ready to fight.‖ Make every word work hard and your sentences will be

powerful, full of punch.

Notice how your sentences begin. These beginnings are repetitive and boring: ―We went to the beach. We had fun.

We saw seagulls. We went home.‖ Vary the openings and combine very short sentences: ―Despite being overrun with

pesky seagulls, we had fun at the beach.‖

Don’t let sentences drift on too long, either. If a sentence feels unwieldy, out of control, slice it in half. Make two

sentences. As Zinsser tells us, ‗There is no minimum length for a sentence that‘s acceptable…Among good writers, it is the

short sentence that predominates.

Read your work aloud and listen to the rhythm and flow of the words. Does the fluency match the mood and content?

Long and flowing where the piece is descriptive and thoughtful. Short and snappy where you need to make a point.

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One of the hardest tasks of the writer is to read what is on the page, not what the writer hoped would be on the page. – Donald Murray

Conventions are the rules of language – spelling, punctuation, grammar, usage, paragraphing, and capitalization –

that make your text correct and easy for others to read. When you follow the rules, readers don‘t need to waste energy

mentally editing; they can pay attention to your clever ideas, creative organization, unique voice, vibrant word choice, and

lyrical fluency.

Conventions are different from the first five traits because to improve those traits you have been learning how to revise –

how to rethink and re-see your work. Editing is fixing – making sure the text is as error-free as possible. The

purpose is to make your paper readable to someone else. Sometimes mistakes in conventions get in the way and keep the

reader from understanding your message. They also irritate some readers – something no writer sets out to do

deliberately.

Develop a proofreader’s eye. Check everything, then check it again. It‘s often hard to spot your own mistakes. Try

reading aloud; it makes you slow down. You may also find it helpful to have someone else look at your work.

The Writing Process

Assessing your audience

Write appropriately for whoever will be reading your piece. This includes choosing vocabulary and sentence

structures to suit the reader(s). The way you write a note to your friend objecting to the dress code is likely to be more

casual than the way you write a letter on the same topic to a principal; a letter addressed to the school board or written

as a Letter to the Editor of the Statesman is likely to be even more precise and formal.

Developing a Purpose

When making decisions about where to begin working with a topic, you need to be clear about your purpose for

writing. Here are some ideas of how to focus a paper on SPORTS.

1. You could write a NARRATIVE. A narrative tells a story about a time when something happened. It has a

beginning, middle, and end. It often has a setting and characters. One of the characters might be you. This is a

personal narrative. A narrative on the topic of sports might have these titles: The Time I Struck Out, I Nearly

Drowned, A Game I‘ll Never Forget, I Thought We Would…

2. You could write an EXPOSITORY essay. Expository writing explains and provides information; it may use a

story for an example, but the purpose is not to tell a story. It is to inform or to show how. Sets of directions, travel

brochures, newspaper articles, computer manuals, school essays, and textbooks are all examples of expository writing.

For the general topic of sport, you might EXPLAIN how to avoid sports injuries. TELL step by step how to execute a

slam dunk in basketball. EXPLAIN what it takes to be a great long distance swimmer. PROVIDE INFORMATION on

the best places in your area to buy equipment. TELL HOW to maintain ski equipment.

3. You could write a PERSUASIVE piece on sports. The purpose would be to convince someone else to understand

and appreciate your point of view. It needs to be something you feel strongly about and you need to use specific

information to build your case. Think about how focused an attorney is as he passionately argues for his client in front

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of a jury. Talk a friend into joining the swimming team with you. Convince a parent to let you bungee jump. Talk the

coach into no more Saturday practices. Persuade the School Board to add skateboarding to the school athletic

program. Convince someone that tennis is more valuable to know how to play than baseball.

4. Write a DESCRIPTION of an event, feeling, thought, or object. When you describe, you need to use very specific

words to make a vivid picture in the reader‘s mind. Search out the telling details and then surround them with words.

Your description makes everything clear for the reader like bringing the world into focus through a pair of binoculars.

When your binoculars are in focus, you can see even the tiniest and most intriguing details. You might explain to

someone how it felt the day of your first big game with the soccer team, describe equipment you need to play football,

tell what it was like to be the catcher on the baseball team when the 200 pound base runner started home from 3rd

base, etc.

Pre-Writing

Generate ideas through brainstorming, researching, free writing, mapping, and outlining key ideas. Begin organizing

these ideas and narrowing your subject into a workable topic.

Drafting

Begin by narrowing your topic to a thesis statement – one sentence that will serve as the overall purpose of

your essay.

Broad subject: Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone

Specific topic: Draco Malfoy

Question about the topic: Why is Draco important to the story?

Thesis: Draco Malfoy serves as a contrast to the goodness of Harry Potter and his friends.

Next, organize the information into main ideas for your paper (as a general rule, you want at least two or three

main ideas). These main ideas will be developed into topic sentences – sentences that establish the purpose of

each body paragraph.

Now, choose a paragraph structure that will best suit your topic and writing style (such as eight-sentence format

or major point/minor point format).

Then incorporate text and details to support your main ideas. Be sure to follow the rules for quotations and

internal documentation when you use information from a text.

Finally, conclude the essay by connecting the thesis to a larger issue such as the community, something personal,

other works of literature, or world events.

Revising

This step involves moving around large blocks of text, examining the order of the paragraphs, and assessing the detail

and commentary provided in the original draft. Major changes occur at this stage of writing.

Editing

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This step involves looking for errors in mechanics, spelling, word choice, and sentence structure. Minor changes occur

in the editing step. HINT: Often reading the essay out loud or reading it from back to front helps the writer notice

previously undetected mistakes. It is also a good idea to have another person edit the essay before the final copy.

Publishing

This is the final step in the writing process; it involves turning in a final copy of your essay. Make sure you follow your

teacher‘s specific instructions for handing in the essay. Unless otherwise instructed, use the MLA guidelines for

headings and margins.

Definition of an essay

An ESSAY is multi-paragraph and includes an introduction, body, and conclusion. An essay is not one paragraph or a certain number of sentences or paragraphs.

SHORT ANSWER is a few sentences that also include a beginning, middle, and end. The basic structure for a

short answer response is main idea supporting detail writer's commentary conclusion. The following is a suggested pattern for completing short answer responses.

Five Sentence Response:

1. Answer WITH a reason. 2. Explain your answer. 3. Use a detailed and appropriate piece of the text (quotation) to illustrate what you mean. 4. Explain how the quotation ties to your answer. 5. Tie it all back to the prompt or to a main theme of the piece.

Anatomy of an Essay

The Introduction

To write a satisfactory introductory paragraph, the writer must include three fundamental parts: the attention getter,

the bridge, and the thesis statement.

The Attention-Getter

The purpose of the attention-getter is to capture the reader‘s attention, to make him or her want to continue

reading. The length of the attention-getter will vary depending on which type you use. The following are

types of attention-getters:

1. Narrative / Anecdote – tell a true or fictional story related to your topic

2. Illustration – give a specific example related to your topic

3. Startling Statistic – provide shocking or surprising information

4. Analogy – draw a comparison between your subject and something else

5. Rhetorical Question – use a well-chosen, relevant question (or questions) to raise the reader‘s curiosity

6. Definition – define your topic if the meaning is vague or uncommon

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7. Statement of Opposing View – for effect, build up one point of view in the attention-getter and then

change it in the thesis

8. Quotation – select a quotation from an important authority, a famous personality, or a fragment of verse

or prose that is relevant to your thesis

9. Compare / Contrast – present a series of contrasting examples

The Bridge

Because attention getters represent broad ideas and thesis statements represent narrow, focused ideas,

directly connecting them is often awkward. However, if the ideas are not logically connected, the reader is

required to jump across this gulf of ideas in order to make the connection. Since the gulf must be crossed,

providing a ―bridge‖ for the reader to cross is better than having the reader jump to a random sentence. Some

readers are unable to make the jump, so you have lost their attention before you have even begun. Take the

following example:

Attention Getter: How many times does a National Football League team rally from twenty-one

points behind in the fourth quarter to win the game?

Thesis Statement: The Dallas Cowboys have historically been the luckiest team in the National

Football League.

Even though these two statements are loosely connected (they both involve football), to have the second

immediately follow the first leaves the reader ―in the gap‖ wondering what logical connection there might be

between the National Football League, twenty-one points, rallying, and the Dallas Cowboys.

A writer must, therefore, bridge these two seemingly dissimilar ideas. Consider the following:

How often does a team come from twenty-one points behind to win in the National Football League? In

the 1997 football season, such a feat did not happen a single time. And yet, it occurred on Sunday of the

first weekend of the 1999 season during the Dallas-Washington football game. No one will doubt the role

of luck in such a comeback, and all teams enjoy some measure of luck at one time or another, but the

Dallas Cowboy franchise appears to have had more than its share. In fact, many consider the Cowboys to

be the luckiest franchise in the history of the National Football League.

Note how the ―bridge‖ (underlined in the above example) works on a basic level. Three ideas are mentioned

in the thesis which are not mentioned in the attention getter. These are ―the Dallas Cowboys,‖ the concept of

―luck,‖ and the opinion that ―the Cowboys are lucky.‖ Note in the example how we work the writing to bring

the concept of the Dallas team into the essay. Later, the concept of luck is introduced, and finally, before the

thesis, the two are linked in one sentence, and the concept comes full circle.

Writing the Thesis Statement

1. Write a complete sentence (simple or complex, not compound)

2. Avoid "be" verbs (am, is, are, was, were, be, being, been, has, have, had)

3. Avoid mentioning the paper such as "In this essay, I will…"

4. Make sure your thesis includes an opinion worth proving, not an observable fact.

Wrong: My essay is about the works of John Keats and how his life affected his writing.

RIGHT: John Keats's family history of illness and early death affected the tone of his poetry.

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Wrong: Charles Dickens wrote many novels that include compelling child characters.

RIGHT: Charles Dickens demonstrates poor economic conditions in Victorian England through the

experiences of his novels‘ compelling child characters.

Basic Paragraph Structure: Two Methods

Please note that these outlines provide only a guideline for structuring paragraphs. They are NOT meant to dictate

precise numbers of sentences in paragraphs or essays and should not be interpreted rigidly. Students should adapt

these structures to fit their specific evidence and main ideas. The objective is to make sure that each body

paragraph supports the thesis statement, includes ample evidence through text, facts, and details,

and includes the writer's own thoughts and observations about the supporting detail.

Eight Sentence Paragraph Format

This format is also called ―chunk writing.‖ Despite the name, each paragraph can have more than eight

sentences. The writer may have additional concrete details and/or commentary.

The basic outline for this format is as follows:

I. Topic Sentence [1]

A. Concrete detail [2]

1. Commentary [3]

2. Commentary [4]

B. Concrete detail [5]

1. Commentary [6]

2. Commentary [7]

C. Summary Sentence or Transition sentence [8]

The following is an example of a paragraph written in eight-sentence format:

[topic sentence ] Draco Malfoy's harsh features indicate his tendency to cause trouble. [concrete

detail ] His "sleek blond hair and pointed chin were just like his father's" (Rowling 194). [commentary

] The words "sleek" and "pointed" remind one of something rigid and fixed. [commentary ] Malfoy is

unwilling to compromise or try to get along with the others at Hogwarts like his father who buys his way

into getting what he wants. [concrete detail ] Likewise, as Ron and Hermione laugh at Draco, his "lip

curl[s]" and he replies with "smirking" (194). [commentary ] The children always wonder what ill-will

Draco has in store for them behind the crooked and arrogant smile. [commentary ] Draco's face cannot

hide his malicious nature and his ability to spoil the plans of the well-meaning students. [summary

sentence ] While looks can be deceiving, Draco's looks provide a clue to the reader that danger lurks

ahead.

Majors/Minors Paragraph Format:

While either format is acceptable, we encourage more experienced writers to explore the majors/minors

format. Major supports are general statements that the writer wishes to prove; minor supports offer specific

proof and elaboration. This format also is flexible, and additional major or minor supports can be used as

needed, as can be seen in the example.

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The basic outline for the majors/minors format is:

I. Topic Sentence

A. Major Support

1. Minor Support (detail, facts, evidence)

2. Minor Support

B. Major Support

1. Minor Support

2. Minor Support

C. Major Support

1. Minor Support

2. Minor Support

D. Summary Sentence or Transition sentence

The following is an example of a paragraph written in majors/minors format:

[topic sentence ] In most cases, college students enjoy much more freedom than high school

students. [major point ] In college, students often have more free time than they had in high school.

[minor point ] For example, college classes generally meet every other day rather than every day.

[minor point ] Also, students may be in class for three to four hours instead of seven or eight. [minor

point ] However, students must learn quickly that the extra hours in the day are best used for doing

school work since no class time is given for this in college. [major point ] College also shifts

accountability from the parents and teachers to the students. [minor point ] In many college classes,

the professor does not take roll; therefore, students are free to decide when they will go to class. [minor

point ] Likewise, students must keep up with longer reading assignments and more information without

the benefit of daily reminders and weekly quizzes. [minor point ] Students can schedule their studying

around other events, but many learn very soon that keeping up with the professor's syllabus will result in

greater success. [major point ] New college students are generally the most excited about social

freedom. [minor point ] College co-eds, for the most part, enjoy a curfew-free environment for the first

time. [minor point ] Students also spend their money as they wish and develop their own budgets. This

often results in the stereotypical phone call home for money. [minor point ] After running out of money

one time too often or oversleeping because they stayed out too late again, college students learn the

ultimate value of budgets and curfews. [concluding statement ] Even though some of the lessons are

hard to learn, college students still find that the extra freedom they enjoy in college is a welcome change.

Topic Sentence

A topic sentence is the one point or main idea that the body paragraph makes about the subject. It is one reason

why the thesis statement is valid.

Make sure that when you write your essay that each body paragraph has a solid topic sentence. Since your topic

sentence is one reason why the thesis is valid, your topic sentence can be a ―because‖ statement. For example:

Thesis statement + because + reason

My grandma‘s house is my special place because her furniture is comfortable.

This whole paragraph will then describe how Grandma‘s comfortable furniture makes her house a special place.

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Your topic sentences should directly reflect the idea of your thesis statement. They may even include your thesis

statement in their subject. Your reader should be able to look at any of your topic sentences and understand what the

thesis statement is without knowing your thesis statement ahead of time.

The rest of your body paragraph is evidence in the form of concrete detail and commentary/ elaboration (or major

and minor supports).

Evidence: Support with Detail or Text

A concrete detail is a fact, quotation, piece of evidence, or statement used in support of your topic sentence.

Each body paragraph will consist of at least two concrete details on which you will elaborate.

In the following example, the concrete detail follows the topic sentence and is underlined:

My grandma‘s house is my special place because her furniture is comfortable. For example, the minute I relax

on her couch, I find myself drifting off to sleep.

In this concrete detail, the writer uses the couch as evidence of Grandma‘s comfortable furniture.

Paraphrasing and Using Quotations

There are three ways you can use other people‘s information:

1. Paraphrase – rewriting the information in your own words

2. Embedded Quotation – quoting (word for word) only a few key words or phrases

3. Full Quotation –quoting (word for word) an entire sentence or paragraph

The best papers will blend all the three methods. To understand how to paraphrase and use quotations, we will use a

paragraph taken from Ray Bradbury‘s afterword to his novel Fahrenheit 451.

ORIGINAL SAMPLE

Finally, many readers have written protesting Clarisse’s disappearance, wondering what

happened to her. Francois Truffaut felt the same curiosity, and in the film version

of my novel, rescued Clarisse from oblivion and located her with the book people

wandering in the forest, reciting their litany of books to themselves. I felt the

same need to save her, for after all, she, verging on silly star-struck chatter, was

in many ways responsible for Montag’s beginning to wonder about books and what was in

them. In my play, therefore, Clarisse emerges to welcome Montag, and give a somewhat

happier ending to what was, in essence, pretty grim stuff.

Paraphrase

Rewrite information into your own words without changing the author’s meaning or intent.

For example:

Bradbury writes in the afterword to Fahrenheit 451 that, like the man who directed the film version of the novel, he too feels the need to

resurrect Clarisse. In the play he writes of the novel, he does have Clarisse meet Montag at the end. This makes sense since Clarisse was

so important in awakening Montag to think for himself (178).

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Embedded Quotation

Carefully choose a few words or a phrase to quote word for word; put the author’s exact words in quotation

marks and blend with paraphrase.

Embedded quotations are an effective and powerful way to share the author‘s exact words while still

maintaining your own voice.

The words or phrases you choose to quote should be significant–in general, do not quote facts (i.e. In the

original example, it would be a waste of a quotation to quote ―Bradbury writes in the afterword.‖ There is

nothing profound about that.)

For example:

Bradbury writes in the afterword to Fahrenheit 451 that when he wrote a play of his novel, he “rescues Clarisse from oblivion,” as did the

man who directed the film version of the novel (178). Bradbury believes this is appropriate because her “silly, star-struck chatter” was

crucial in helping Montag learn to wonder and think for himself (178).

Full Quotation

If you find a sentence, or several sentences, with such significance that not using the author’s exact words will

cause your paper to lack effectiveness or accuracy, then you may include them word for word in your paper;

put quotation marks around author’s exact words.

Full quotations are only effective if used sparingly.

The sentence(s) you choose to quote should be significant–again, in general, do not quote facts

For example:

Short Quotation (4 lines or fewer)

In talking about why he wrote Clarisse back into the play version of his novel, Bradbury says, “I felt the same need to save her, for after all,

she, verging on silly star-struck chatter, was in many ways responsible for Montag’s beginning to wonder about books and what was in them”

(178).

Long Quotation (more than 4 lines): Indent entire block of text one inch and omit quotation marks; in this one instance,

the punctuation goes before the internal documentation.

In talking about why he wrote Clarisse back into the play version of his novel, Bradbury says,

I felt the same need to save her, for after all, she, verging on silly star-struck chatter, was in many ways responsible for Montag’s

beginning to wonder about books and what was in them. In my play, therefore, Clarisse emerges to welcome Montag and give a

somewhat happier ending to what was, in essence, pretty grim stuff. (178)

Omissions in Quotations

Sometimes it is necessary to take out or change part of a quotation in order to maintain the flow and structure of your

paper. These are a few guidelines:

If you leave out any words in a quotation in order to maintain the flow of your paper, you must insert an

ellipsis (three dots) in brackets to indicate where the omission occurs. In the following example, the words in

essence were omitted:

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Example: In Bradbury‘s play, ―Clarisse emerges to welcome Montag, and give a somewhat happier

ending to what was […] pretty grim stuff‖ (178).

Do not leave out any words that will change the meaning of a sentence you are quoting. This is not honest.

Also use brackets [ ] if you add words of your own or make other changes, such as using he in place of I or

changing a verb tense, to fit the quotation into the structure and grammar of your own sentence.

Commentary and Elaboration

Commentary and elaboration are your opinion, interpretation, insight, personal response, evaluation, reflection,

or supporting evidence about a concrete detail in an essay. When you write commentary and elaboration, you are

―commenting on‖ a point that you have made. There are several types of commentary or elaboration, and the acronym

S C O P E may help you.

S Statistics: Use reasonable data and/or refer to sources

Example: [concrete detail ] Teen drivers are some of the most dangerous on the road. [commentary ] In

fact, Time magazine has stated that teens are the worst drivers we face, and studies have shown

that teens are involved in forty-seven percent of all accidents.

C Comparisons: Reference the detail to something that has meaning to the reader, something to which it

can be related.

Example: [concrete detail ] Teen drivers are some of the most dangerous on the road. [commentary

] Many drive as though they were Indy 500 racers.

O Outcomes: Make a connection between the reason and outcome (effect)

Example: [concrete detail ] Teen drivers are often guilty of exceeding the speed limit. [commentary

] Driving in this manner often causes the driver to lose control and crash.

P Personal Anecdote: Relate a short personal story.

Example: [concrete detail ] Teen drivers are some of the most dangerous on the road. [commentary

] When I was younger, I was no exception. I loved speed and would often go to deserted

stretches of highway to enjoy the exhilaration of racing down the road.

E Example: Describe a situation or event.

Example: [concrete detail ] Teen drivers are some of the most dangerous on the road. [commentary

] Just last week John Smith, a sixteen year old, was clocked by the police at eighty miles per

hour while he was driving on Mellow Meadow Dr.

Note that each concrete detail is followed by commentary/elaboration—an extension of the idea. In your writing, you

may mix methods of commentary and elaboration but do not leave this important information out.

Summary Sentence

The summary sentence reflects the topic sentence. Basically, all you need to do is reword the topic sentence. As

you mature as a writer, the summary sentence can also be used as a transition sentence into your next body

paragraph.

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It is important to remember never to introduce new information or new ideas in your summary sentence. This

sentence is strictly for summarizing what you have said in the body paragraph and transitioning to the next main idea

of your paper.

Transitions

Transitional words and phrases serve as a way to link your thoughts from one sentence to the next sentence, from one

idea to the next idea, or from one paragraph to the next paragraph. Transitions also help your sentences and

paragraphs flow together seamlessly by preventing jumps between thoughts–this provides coherence. See the table

below for an organized list of transitional words and phrases.

Purpose Transition Words & Phrases

Sequence again, also, and, and then, besides, finally, first...second...third, furthermore, last,

moreover, next, still, too

Time after a bit, after a few days, after a while, afterward, as long as, as soon as, at last, at

length, at that time, before, earlier, immediately, in the meantime, in the past, lately,

later, meanwhile, now, presently, shortly, simultaneously, since, so far, soon, then,

thereafter, until, when

Comparison again, also, in the same way, likewise, once more, similarly

Contrast although, but, despite, even though, however, in contrast, in spite of, instead,

nevertheless, nonetheless, notwithstanding, on the contrary, on the one hand,

regardless, still, though, yet

Examples after all, even, for example, for instance, indeed, in fact, of course, specifically, such as,

the following example, to illustrate

Cause and

Effect

accordingly, as a result, because, consequently, for this purpose, hence, so, then,

therefore, thereupon, thus, to this end

Place above, adjacent to, below, beyond, closer to, elsewhere, far, farther on, here, near,

nearby, opposite to, there, to the left, to the right

Concession although it is true that, granted that, I admit that, it may appear that, naturally, of

course

Summary/

Conclusion

as a result, as has been noted, as I have said, as we have seen, in any event, in

conclusion, in other words, in short, on the whole, therefore, to summarize

Conclusion

Every essay should include an ending called the conclusion. For shorter essays, often a strong concluding sentence at

the end of the last body paragraph will suffice. For longer essays, however, a separate concluding paragraph is more

appropriate. (Ask your teacher for specific requirements). In each case, the information should avoid any new

information. The words should "echo" the ideas in the thesis statement. The most effective conclusions will then

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connect the idea in the thesis to a larger issue such as the writer himself, the community, or another related topic or

literary work. One technique for conclusions, called "bookending," relates back specifically to the original attention-

getting device in the introduction.

When your are invited to present material to a group, whether it be within the classroom setting, a

work-related environment, or any situation in which you will be evaluated on your performance,

here are a few common sense tips:

1. Do not ever chew gum, candy, or anything else during a presentation.

2. Avoid jewelry or clothing which could distract your audience’s attention from your material

and your delivery. A conservative appearance is best, unless the subject of the presentation

itself calls for a special uniform or costume.

3. Never wear a cap or hat unless it is part of a costume needed for your presentation.

4. Keep your hands away from your face and hair. Hold your hands at your side, in a relaxed

posture, or lightly place your hands at the edge of the podium.

5. Stand up straight. Do not lean against the podium or appear to be supporting your weight

against it.

6. Maintain as much eye contact with your audience as possible, although it is all right to glance

at notes frequently and as needed.

7. As you plan your presentation, keep the requirements and time limitations in mind. Practice

several times and commit as much of your presentation to memory as possible.

As a member of the audience, keep in mind that your classmate deserves your full attention. You

would like to have everyone’s full attention and respect when it is your turn to present.

Giving full attention to a speaker includes:

looking at him/her and maintaining a comfortable level of eye contact

sitting as still as possible

appearing to listen and offering some kind of non-verbal encouragement

Giving full attention to a speaker does NOT include:

turning the pages of a book

shuffling though papers or whispering to a neighbor

digging around in your backpack

sleeping or yawning

gazing around the room

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If you must leave the room during oral presentations, try to wait until one speaker has finished and

leave before the next speaker begins. It is extremely distracting to a speaker to have a member of the

audience stand and walk around the room when he or she is trying to concentrate on the delivery of

the material. Obviously, emergency situations do arise, so if you must leave, be as discreet and quiet

as possible.

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Rubric – Outside Class Writings

9+ -- essays exceed expectations in every area of composition in addition to all the features of a 9 essay

9 – essays effectively address the assignment; provide creative, original, and perceptive thoughts; offer

exceptional and specific details to support the essay; contain an outstanding thesis sentence with equally

impressive supporting topic sentences; possess no grammatical errors; demonstrate a superior vocabulary

knowledge; demonstrate stylistic maturity by an effective command of sentence structure, diction,

and organization; exhibit mastery of writing mechanics; reveal an ability to control and utilize a wide range

of the elements of effective writing; continue throughout in the same tense and person; exhibit a captivating

and effective voice

8 – essays effectively address the assignment; provide original and perceptive thoughts; offer specific details to

adequately support the essay; contain a clear thesis sentence with equally effective supporting topic

sentences; possess few grammatical errors; demonstrate an adequate vocabulary knowledge; demonstrate

stylistic maturity by an adequate command of sentence structure, diction, and organization; exhibit

adequate writing mechanic skills; reveal an ability to control and utilize the elements of effective writing;

continue throughout in the same tense and person; exhibit an effective voice

7 – essays effectively address the assignment; provide original thoughts; offer specific details to support the

essay; contain a clear thesis sentence with effective supporting topic sentences; possess some grammatical

errors; demonstrate adequate vocabulary knowledge; contain lapses in stylistic maturity in diction, sentence

structure, and organization; exhibit a few lapses in mechanic skills; continue throughout in the same tense

and person; demonstrate use of voice

6—essays adequately address the assignment; provide some original thoughts and ideas; offer some evidence to

support the essay; exhibit limitations in sentence structure, diction, and organization; possess several

grammatical errors; contain a vague thesis sentence with limited topic sentences; demonstrate lapses in

vocabulary knowledge; contain several mechanical errors; continue throughout in the same

tense and person; attempt the use of voice

5 -- essays adequately address the assignment, but provide inconsistent or unclear explanations; provide limited

original thoughts and ideas; offer some evidence to support the essay; exhibit limitations in sentence

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structure, diction, and organization, but convey information adequately; possess several grammatical

errors; contain a vague thesis sentence with limited topic sentences; demonstrate lapses in vocabulary

knowledge; contain mechanical errors; contain a few changes in tense but remain consistent in person

throughout

4-- essays address the assignment, but provide unclear explanations; contain few original thoughts and ideas;

offer little evidence to support the essay; exhibit several limitations in sentence structure, diction, and

organization; possess various grammatical errors; contain a vague thesis sentence with limited topic

sentences; demonstrate lapses in vocabulary knowledge; contain mechanical errors; contain a

few changes in tense but remain consistent in person throughout

3-- essays attempt to address the assignment; provide few original thoughts and ideas; offer little evidence to

support the essay; exhibit several limitations in sentence structure, diction, and organization; possess various

grammatical errors; contain a vague thesis sentence with limited topic sentences; demonstrate lapses in

vocabulary knowledge; contain several mechanical errors; contain a few changes in tense but

remain consistent in person throughout

2-- essays contain a limited attempt to address the assignment; provide no original thoughts and ideas; offer

little evidence to support the essay; exhibit many limitations in sentence structure, diction, and organization;

possess a range of grammatical errors; contain a vague thesis sentence with limited topic sentences;

demonstrate lapses in vocabulary knowledge; contain numerous mechanical errors; contain inconsistencies

in tense and person

1-- essays do not adequately address the assignment; provide no original thoughts and ideas; offer no evidence

to support the essay; offer vague meaningless generalities; demonstrate underdeveloped skills in sentence

structure, diction, and organization; possess numerous grammatical errors; does not contain a thesis

sentence; contain weak topic sentences; demonstrate lapses in vocabulary knowledge; contain

numerous mechanical errors; contain inconsistencies in tense and person

0 – essays are not adequate to support a grade; contain no more than a reference to the topic; repeat the

assignment

Rubric – In Class Writings

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6+ -- essays exceed expectations in every area of composition in addition to all the features of a 6 essay

6 -- essays are outstanding, demonstrating clear and consistent mastery, although may contain a few minor

errors; effectively and insightfully develop the topic assigned; demonstrate outstanding critical thinking

strategies; use clearly appropriate examples, reasons, and other evidence as support; are well organized and

clearly focused, demonstrate coherence and smooth progression of ideas; exhibit skillful use of language

with a varied, accurate, and apt vocabulary; demonstrate meaningful variety in sentence structures; are free

of most errors in grammar, usage, and mechanics; do not vary in person or in tense; use an effective voice

5 – essays are effective, demonstrating reasonably consistent mastery, although containing occasional errors or

lapses in quality; effectively develop the topic; demonstrate strong critical thinking skills; generally use

appropriate examples, reasons, and other evidence for support; are well organized and focused; demonstrate

coherence and progression of ideas; exhibit facility in the use of language; use appropriate vocabulary;

demonstrate variety in sentence structure; are generally free of most errors in grammar, usage, and

mechanics; do not vary in person or in tense; attempt the use of voice

4 – essays are competent; demonstrate adequate mastery, although will contain lapses in quality; adequately

develop the topic; use adequate examples, reasons, and other evidence for support; are generally organized

and focused; demonstrate some coherence and progression of ideas; exhibit adequate but inconsistent

facility in the use of language; use generally appropriate vocabulary; demonstrate some variety in

sentence structure; have some errors in grammar, usage, and mechanics; do not vary in person or in tense

3 – essays are inadequate but demonstrate developing mastery; attempt to develop the topic; demonstrate some

critical thinking skills, but may do so inconsistently or use inadequate examples, reasons, or other evidence

to support its position; are limited in its organization or focus; demonstrate some lapses in coherence or

progression of ideas; use weak vocabulary or inappropriate word choices; lack variety or demonstrate

problems in sentence structure; contain an accumulation of errors in grammar, usage, and mechanics; do not

vary in person, but contain some variations in tense

2—essays are seriously limited; demonstrate little mastery; the assignment topic is vague or seriously limited;

essays demonstrate weak critical thinking skills, provide inappropriate or insufficient examples, reason, or

other evidence to support its position; are poorly organized and/or focused; demonstrate serious problems

with coherence or progression of ideas; display very little ability in the use of language, using limited

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vocabulary or incorrect word choices; demonstrate frequent problems in sentence structures; contain errors

in grammar, usage, and mechanics; contain variations in tense, but do not vary in person

1 – essays are fundamentally lacking; demonstrate very little or no mastery; develop no viable point addressing

the topic; provide little or no evidence to support the position; are disorganized or unfocused; are disjointed

or incoherent; display fundamental errors in vocabulary; demonstrate severe flaws in sentence structure;

contain pervasive errors in grammar, usage, or mechanics; vary in tense and in person

0 – essays are not written on the assigned topic or are not attempted or are deemed illegible after several

attempts have been made to read and score the essays

Grading Rubric – In Class Writings

6+ 100

6 95

5 88

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4 80

3 75

2 70

1 50

0 0

Regular English classes – Grading Rubric – Outside of Class Writings

9+ 100

9 98

8 95

7 90

6 85

5 75

4 65

3 55

2 45

1 25

0 0—an effort but no more than a reference to the task

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AP and Pre-AP Grading Rubric –Outside of class writings

9+ 100

9 95

8 90

7 85

6 80

5 70

4 60

3 50

2 40

1 20 – mandatory rewrite

0 0 – mandatory rewrite

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Research Paper Grading Guidelines

Late papers – 10pt. Reduction per day – no excuses

** if absent – have someone else bring it to school; it is still due on the due date

Students must also submit papers to Turnitin.com on the assigned due date;

late submissions to this source will result in a 10 pt per day reduction of grade.

Papers with more than 10% plagiarism, will result in a zero grade.

No footnotes or documentation – 0

No bibliography page – 0

Not enough sources with authentic page numbers– -20pts. for each one missing – off the top

** an encyclopedia or reference book or online computer site all represent one source

Content grade

Outside of class of class writing rubrics will be use to grade the content portion of the paper. See attachment.

Mechanics

Title page – 20pts

Bibliography page – 20pts

Using sources on footnotes that are not listed on the Bib. Page -- -20pts each

Footnotes or citations – 10pts each

No footnote to support a bibliographic listing -- -20pts each

Punctuation within the footnotes – -2pts each

Page numbering --10pts

Incorrect margins – -10 to –20 pts

Arrangement of paper—i.e. title page, body, reference – -10pts

The content grade and the mechanics grade are averaged together to form the final grade that is weighted 9

times.