I Never Felt Whole

January, 2011 Vol. 15, No. 1

iven how great life had been,

I still found myself frustrated and

unfulfilled. I guess I assumed that by

my late twenties, I’d experience some

version of what I always thought my

life would be. This didn’t happen, and

it really made me think.

I mean, from the outside looking

in, I had it pretty good. Friends, job,

fun, etc. Still, for years, I just didn’t

feel whole.

I wasn’t living as I was intended

which, of course, meant I was not

growing spiritually.

My happiness was moment driv-

en—coming mainly from experiences.

In other words, on weekend adven-

tures, trips and business successes, I

felt awesome ... but in between, life

was just empty.

Almost like a drug, I got my

fix from being with friends, events,

successes—it was all very temporal.

When I was alone or not “having

fun,” I felt down or lonely and found

myself waiting for the next “fun” thing

to get me back to “normal.” I was frus-

trated, irritated, and felt lost, for which

I tended to blame God.

I knew I wanted more, and He

was the only way I was going to get

the “more” I needed. The problem

was I didn’t feel like He was giving

it to me.

So, for several years I begged

the Lord to take away whatever He

wanted so I could experience Him

more fully.

I asked Him to show me where

there was bondage so I could get rid of

it and be free to live for Him.

I prayed, “Everything I have came

from You, and if You need to take any

of it away so I can experience You more

fully, take it. It’s Yours!”

All I needed was for Him to show

me what I was holding onto, and I’d

give it up gladly.

Like I said, this went on for several

years, and no matter how many times

I asked God to show me what He

wanted me to give up, I felt like I was

G

still in the same place—without any

solid answers.

Don’t get me wrong, I knew there

were things in my life needing change,

and I was willing to correct them.

That being said, I didn’t want to

just stop doing things because someone

said, “The Bible tells me so.”

In other words, I didn’t want to

cease participating in some sort of

sinful behavior, only to fail down the

road trying not to do it. I didn’t want

that—I wanted “real” change.

I believed that could only come

from God. That change wasn’t hap-

pening, so I started giving up.

At this point I was pretty convinced

that Satan was blocking me from find-

ing true freedom in Christ.

I sat down with my pastor, think-

ing he’d easily identify my problem,

pray with me, and I’d be off on a

bondage free life with God!

Well, that did not happen, and I

started to feel really frustrated again.

He recommended I go to FFM,

since they were very good at helping

Christians work through their struggles

and find freedom from bondage.

I was willing to try anything, so I

booked a flight and reserved my time

at their ministry. The only opening

they had was two months away, so I

took it.

Though I wasn’t exactly sure what

was going to happen, I figured it

couldn’t hurt.

Arriving there, my mind was com-

pletely open, ready to receive all God

had for me.

I came to understand that there was

not going to be an “ah-ha!” moment

for me. And that turned out to be a

wonderful thing!

I can’t express how amazing it was

to sit and talk to a spiritually mature

adult and go through my issues with-

out any judgment or condemnation!

I finally understood that God

wanted me at my wit’s end, to realize

that nothing I ever do will be enough

to deliver what I was seeking.

I think my frustration was really

just my heavenly Father breaking me

down to a point where I could see that

in no way, given all that I have or am

able to do, can I ever be sufficient in

myself. I can’t be my own god ... He

wanted me to allow Him to be God

in my life.

My salvation was already paid for

by Christ’s blood, and nothing could

change that!

However, He wasn’t going to knock

me to the ground and from that point

on I’d be Mr. Awesome Christian.

While here on this earth, I have to

trust Christ day by day to live His life

through me, and to meet my needs.

Everything I need, and I mean

everything, He offers in a more amaz-

ing way than I can imagine. I just

have to receive it from Him—my new

“normal!”

his life can be full of unex-pected events which God uses to help us grow in our relationship to Him. His design is to conform us to the image of His Son, who put His feelings aside to do His Father’s will.

Several years ago, God brought this home to us through an interesting experience ...

Someone gave us a gift of $1000 to purchase a treadmill.

After doing some shopping, we found a nice one for about that price on Ebay.

We placed the order in July, but grew concerned when two weeks later, we hadn’t received any word on the delivery.

Several more weeks passed, putting us beyond the one month time frame when PayPal releases payment for a purchased item. As you probably know, there is no refund after this point.

Following a number of failed attempts to communicate with the seller, we realized we had a potential problem.

Then, we found that the seller’s phone number was sud-

denly out of service, which sent us another red flag!

We were tempted to become anxious, but with some self-talk, we were able to give the anxiety to the Lord.

We reminded each other that we’d been through this kind of thing before and God had taken care of us.

Our thinking was, Well, we might’ve lost our money, but hey, let’s at least get “something” out of it!

We forgave the man, but we weren’t going to lose the treadmill without a fight! So, we started praying for him through-out the day—figuring if he was that dishonest, he surely needed prayer.

Once we committed to inter-cede for him, it was a ‘piece of cake’ to get the whole thing in perspective ... What’s a treadmill compared to a man’s soul!?

So, with grateful hearts to be used for God’s purposes, we diligently prayed.

During this time, we contin-ued trying to make contact with the seller, but still weren’t able to reach him.

Living Above Your Feelings

T

We may never know the whole story—but our brand new treadmill was delivered at the end of September!

Why did it take two & a half months to receive?

That’s not really all that im-portant, but this we do know ... God used the delay for His purposes.

We don’t know if the man benefitted from the s i tuation or not, but we surely did!

It wasn’t our prefer-ence to be i n conve -n i e n c e d like that. BUT, we didn’t let our f lesh get the up-per hand ... whatever the Lord allows in our life is for His purpose ... and He doesn’t always share that purpose with us.

The whole exper i ence strengthened our faith. And, who knows, maybe the Holy Spirit changed the heart of the ‘treadmill man’ as well!

Life is not about “things!”

Nor is life in God, stagnant. Eternal life, or Christ’s life (same thing), is always effervescent, bubbling up and spilling over onto others!!!

His plans are far more impor-tant than any ”thing” we think we need!

Building our faith and teach-ing us that our feelings are to be set aside when He calls us

to a differ-ent focus, is what “life in Christ” is all about. This walk can be an exciting adventure!

However, it can also be diff icult as well.

The way to handle our time on this planet is to al-low the love

of Christ to flow through us into everyone we meet and every event we encounter.

When our emotions don’t agree with His truth, yet we yield ourselves to Him, He gives us the wisdom, strength and desire to live above our feelings!

IMAGINE! He lets us part-ner with Him to accomplish His goals. That is awesome!

hat is God’s goal for your life? Have you ever thought about that?

For many years, I thought the Lord had a particular goal in mind for my life and was direct-ing me along that path.

But I found that His plan is more that I live life giving glory to Him “in the moment” than a destination or goal I am to reach.

However, if He has a certain path for me, I will better “hear” it as I am consciously abiding in His presence.

This concept of giving God glory with each breath is a truth I’ve had to grow into.

Maybe for others, it hasn’t been so gradual, but for me it has taken a lot of hard knocks, trying to do life on my own be-fore finding out that “my” way just doesn’t work very well!

Recently we had a young man here who had sown a few wild oats and was now ready to settle down to a life of serving the Lord.

The only problem was that he strongly felt that God want-ed him to give up something in

order to be used by Him.

It was neat for us to see the “light bulb” come on in this man as he realized what the Lord was actually looking for!

God’s will is that we allow His love and power to flow through our personal-ities, plus our talents and abilities in order to bear fruit for the kingdom.

The Lord does have a plan for each of us. He wants to use us for His purposes every mo-ment out of every hour, which is His idea of true success!

Oswald Chambers in his devotional book My Utmost For His Highest states, “We are apt to imagine that if Jesus Christ constrains us, and we obey Him, He will lead us to great success. We must never put our dreams of success as God’s purpose for us; His purpose may be exactly the opposite.

“What is my dream of God’s

Abiding in Christ

purpose? His purpose is that I depend on Him and on His power now. If I can stay calm and unperplexed in the middle of the turmoil, that is the end of the purpose of God.

“God is not work-ing towards a particular finish; His end is the process—that I see Him walking on the waves, no shore in sight, no success, no goal, just the absolute certainty

that it is all right because I see Him walking on the sea. It is the process, not the end, which is glorifying to God.”

Oswald Chambers’ writ-ings encourage believers to trust Christ to live each moment to its fullest. His devotional has been a great source of encouragement in my life for many years.

Another book from which I have drawn a lot of insight is Practicing the Presence of God by Brother Lawrence.

This little volume describes the life of a monk who deter-

mined to live each moment in the presence of God.

Every task he performed was an opportunity to worship the Lord, whether washing dishes or spending time in prayer.

This is where we find God’s peace ... consciously abiding in the Lord’s presence. It takes some discipline at first to stay focused as our thoughts are apt to stray.

Not only does abiding in God bring peace, but there is another purpose for abiding, and that is to bear fruit.

In John 15, we learn that Christ is the Vine and we are the branches. What we may not realize though, is that we can be connected to the Vine, but at the same time block Him from flowing into us.

Many things can contribute to this, but we don’t have the space here to explore them. Suf-fice it to say that His plan is that we abide in Him.

If there are blocks in your life, let the Lord help you re-move them so you can begin to live life as He intended, bearing much fruit!

W

depressive effects. It also metabolizes into methanol

(wood alcohol), which causes blind-ness.

Aspartame has been linked with worsening Alzheimer’s, MS, diabetes, seizures and migraines.

Saccharin is another artificial sweetener and was one of the pioneers. It is also two hundred times sweeter than table sugar.

The manufacturers somehow rescued themselves from the stigma of this coal tar derivative that causes cancer in rats. You buy it today as Sweet ‘N Low or SugarTwin.

There are many different brands on the market, but they all have one thing in common. They are extremely harmful to the body!

If you want to save the calories, but have a sweet tooth, try stevia in your beverages. It has zero calories and is completely natural.

Pure water with a twist of lemon can also be very satisfying once you become accustomed to it.

Both sweetening with stevia and water are great alternatives to the fake stuff—and healthy to boot!

HealtHPoint

lmost everywhere you turn, you see folks downing cans of diet soft drinks. However, there have been numerous warnings of their negative effects.

As far back as 1996, “60 Minutes” did an exposé. A senior FDA toxicologist testified before Congress that aspartame caused brain tumors.

And even in their own inter-office reports, the manu-facturer admitted there was “complete conversion to DKP” (diketopiperazine, a brain tumor agent). Their original studies confirmed this occurs in animals.

Aspartame is two hundred times sweeter than table sugar, recognized by brand names like Equal or NutraSweet.

The body metabolizes it into formaldehyde, and as you probably know, this is used for embalming purposes.

Furthermore, in some people it is addictive and lowers the neurotransmitters of happy moods, like dopamine and serotonin, as part of its brain-damaging

A

Crush Your Cravings

8

Dear Treasured Friend,

Our story features a young man who was desperately

seeking release from bondage. He came to us completely “open” to receive, and the Lord mightily set him free!

The HealthPoint article outlines the dangers of fake sugar. Learn about a healthy alternative—that’s tasty, too!

Abiding in Christ makes all the difference between peace and chaos in your life. Be blessed as you abide in Him!

Living Above Your Feelings shares what you can do when strong emotions demand your attention.

Please help us be good stewards of God’s resources by taking a minute to fill out the enclosed green card and mail it to us, or if you prefer, you can email your response.

We pray the IK is a blessing to you! If so, please con-sider sharing a financial gift, as it takes everyone doing some-thing to keep this ministry going—your part is vital! Warm Blessings,

Faith Family Ministries 4011 Fenworth CourtFort Mill, SC 29715803.554.HOPE (4673) fffm@faithfamily.net - www.faithfamily.netLocations in SC & GA

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