Some Liner notes…

The black man’s masculinity. What a celebratory yet self-imprisoning philosophy to go by don’t cha think? It is the source of his everlasting will to keep his head up and will strong underneath the opposing forces that work day in and out to overpower him. It allows him to withstand all the blows that the world will administer amongst his psyche no matter how brutal the hits. Yet, it is this same source that will stop him from ever considering therapy for these said blows. It is this same source that will make him wait two full decades of life before realizing he never fully got over past traumatic experiences. It can stop self-realization and growth within him because society treats his internalizations as Oklahoman apartment fires, “aint nobody got time fo’ that.” It is this same source that can ultimately stop him from breaking out of his shell and achieving self-freedom.

Foreword/Background:

Wassup everybody. Since we here and since I am using up this space, lemme put a little more specificity into what this whole thang was about. In a nutshell: The emotional roller coaster that was junior year. There was a LOT of realizations learned that time in the midst of just a bad year all around (emotionally, psychologically, mentally, and also ending off the school year with my entire life’s work gone in an instant cause someone decided to jack my old laptop lol)One of these realizations is the fact that in reaching the 2nd decade in my life, I still have yet to fully got over the divorce of my parents years back. And the older I get the more hesitant I am in even talking to them sometimes about it. In other words, this being part 1, I used it as a platform of an artistic expression to release internal confrontations or in layman’s terms: “To get some shit off my chest.” For those that came out to the concert, you were greatly appreciated. For those that couldn’t, no hard feelings, we got it recorded just for you guys. :)

Corridors Of The Mind

Aight there’s like 2 parts to this joint. So one of the brightest spots of junior year was being blessed with the opportunities to work with some dancers in the Bardian dance program for their performances. I wanted to reincorporate different forms of the arts into this concert. Also, while composing/arranging this, I was imagining this long-ass corridor full of doors that open to stressors in one’s life (e.g. relationships, work, school, life, etc.) and thus, the unpredictability of it. It’s one of the reasons why the song frequently goes from 6/4 to 7/4 and then to 4/4 then back to 6/4 and 7/4 again. That and I like a challenge cause I’m just insane lol.

During this crazy year, one would have a place or person or thing to vent frustrations to, right? Well, since your boy still avoids legit therapists like the plague (for now), I was fortunate to have a friend, eh, like a sister at this point, that for lack of better words, “dealt with my bitching” for almost that entire year. Thanks homie, that meant a lot. Admittedly, due to this process of getting the concert ready and just adjusting to this being yours truly’s last year, we ain’t been able to kick it as much this semester. But don't worry, that’s one of my resolutions of 2016 homie!

Tell Me What Is Going On (Therapy Sessions With Saby)

Intro: Sabrina Sultana

Verse 1: Tell me what is going on/Inside that little head of yours/Tell me what is going on/That makes you hate the sunrise’s call/Why you gotta look so mean/Like lil child lost they jelly bean/Or maybe even something worse/Like you stuck under a genie’s curse/Why you say the sky looks great/ On such a beautiful summer’s day/I don't know what’s up with that/Cause your pessimism’s kinda whack/All in all I’m just confused/Cause this really doesn’t seem like you/And I just wanna know what’s up/Cause you aint seem to be smiling much and Chorus: I don’t understand/Has life dealt such a hand/Hourglass ran out of sand/You stuck on no man’s land/I miss when you used to smile/Now all I see is frowns/And I just want to know/What’s got you feeling low Verse 2: Tell me what is going on/Inside that little head of yours/You seem so unhappy man/Cause whenever we chill you rant/Always bout that or this/But last year nothing was so amiss/I hope you not feeling cold/Over things that you just can’t control/Why you gotta get caught up/On things we both agreed aint worth much/I can tell it brings you pain/Cause you new to this oh so strange/Tell me what is going on/That makes you want to go so far/Away from these human beings/Cause they actin’ so damn obscene andChorus Bridge: Just imagine if this wasn’t a dream and then we all grew wings and then we knew how to fly everything would be all right No one would have to ask whyJust imagine if this wasn’t a dream and then we all grew wings and then we knew how to fly everything would be all right There would never be gray skies (repeat 2x)Chorus Outro: Tell me what is going on

Failure to Understand You

French Poem Translation:Misunderstandings, rantings, conversations

1,000 ways to test his patience

Her silence a curse or a blessing?

Because translating double speak

Is like playing Russian Roulette with a loaded weapon

No means no but so does yes

So every step is a second guess

And every guess is a misread text

And every text leads to more stress

The plane never takes off always delayed

Cause all she displays is mixed signals

Then arguments plagued, he remains oblivious to the issues

The heavy burden of those 3 words, he is too nervous to let them out

Her presence is like a million roses

It is a shame that there are thorns around...

Intro: Marley Alford

Women are funny man.

Let’s TalkA little play on the “Let’s Talk” program that always pops up in our bard email that talks about basically talking to someone about their problems or something like that. So that’s basically what this was. A rant. On everything that made junior year crazy.

Verse 1: Let’s talk about it let’s talk about, the fact that yo head is equivalent to a busy highway, downtown Atlanta, rush hour out on a Friday, what is on your mind, say it loud, let’s talk about it. Come on let’s talk about it. The way you felt when niggas turned they back on you. Like Jim Carrey cause they straight up put the mask on you, carrying this campus for a year and a half. And all the while having to put up with some BS at that, ay let’s talk about it, let’s talk about you lacking patience, cause you noticed everyone around you turnin’ complacent. It’s like this school reminding you of static-ass Douglasville, and that aint the reason you went out-of-state (for real). Let’s talk about how you hate seeing wasted potential. And when you see it your personality turning menstrual, cause every time somebody ask you about so-and-so, gotta stop the instincts from choking them by the throat. Let’s talk about the way you always gotta bitch and moan when things seem to go every way but not your own. Spazzing out on social media? Cool it homes. So what if lies were told that left you in the city broke. That made you have to ask your parents for some fuckin change, even though you hate being a fuckin charity case. Who always wanna hold up his own end of the bargain, I guess the others aint feel the same way, no arguing. Chorus: Understand this how I feel

Verse 2: Let’s talk about your emotions be tweaking. Let’s talk about how one of the hardest winter breaks of your life’s the reason. Let’s talk about how you’re one despicable human being, who only cares about himself, nigga, here is the reason. Where the fuck was the letter you said was written for Valdez, and where the fuck was you when Mr, Landry turned departed. Speaking of which, what a fucking good friend you is, didn’t even go to your homie’s father’s funeral bitch. Ajike was in the Chi she coulda driven by, the city but you just declined and I wonder why. You using excuses like you scared of seeing dead bodies, like little cousin at the mosque you looked away started crying, let’s talk about it. Let’s talk about therapy sessions at BEOP with Truth, temper tantrums, maybe you was recovering from a semester full of highs and lows, and working through citizen science through that cold-ass snow. Let’s talk about it, let’s talk about that time you called BRAVE then hung up the phone what was that bout, maybe was it, was it the loss of second pops, plus the lack of guap, plus temperature drops that had you seeing goddamn depression.

Verse 3: Let’s talk about these dilemmas with women, let’s talk about how even up to this point that you have never been in, a relationship, I know that’s some crazy shit, amazing since, you’ve gone 2 decades without going through it. Let’s talk about blood in the bathtub and custody cases. Lots and lots and lots of yelling and distorted faces, let’s talk about seeing the tears fall from your little brother. And you had to play the charade just to hold it together. Let’s talk about the constant thoughts going through your mind, whenever you seen other parents their love intertwined. Why the FUCK mom and dad can’t live in the same state. Why the fuck’s mom’s hand fucked up from the window pane. Let’s talk how you stayed away from this way too long. Put other people before yourself and that’s wrong. Especially when you learning how they broke apart, makes you wish you never asked the question at all, and if you knew what you know now back then ahk, you would’ve never called your stepdad your fuckin’ pops. And when you think of making things work, these flashbacks pop in your dome like dad crying alone in his room, let’s talk about it.

All For You (by Little Brother)

On one of the greatest hip hop albums of all time (Minstrel Show

by Little Brother) there is a song on there called “All For

You.” A song my dad is most fond of because of it being one of the few honest “father” songs in hip hop. Through listening to it and even though not relating word for

word to each verse (The last verse stings, and is probably one of my biggest fears in life), the

brutal honestness of the song inspired me to “jazz it up” and turn it into a slow mellow type

of joint.

Fun fact: In underestimating the emotional toll of Let’s Talk (as I do with almost all my songwriting cause at the time I be thinkin’

“this light”), majority of the time during this song was spent trying to

hold it together lol

Ghosts Of The Past-Lude Intro: Joseph Morgan

"Hallways full of skeleton filled rooms

Locked up but managing to come out like roses out the concrete

Yet the seeds contain remnants of memories best left unknown

For what's known is the causing of the rose's decay

And it grows and grows but the seed is a parasite

So the aesthetics on fleek but the inside opposite

As a smile disguises the mental unraveling

Of a person whose past mistakes

Come back to haunt him

Like a ghost from the past

Staying

Staying

Haunting

Haunting...."

2 Doors (Eshu’s Test) Uh-oh, religion time. So, if you aint already know by the DJ name (Ogun), I practice the religion of Ifa. Upon a conversation with my dad during last summer about the concept of both my senior concerts, he said I should look into the diety of Eshu. Now that we here, it actually makes a lot of sense, so basically….

In a nutshell, Eshu is the representation of the crossroads. The path to spiritual growth. The concept of both these concerts is the process of metamorphosis. It’s why I call it THAT instead of “senior concert” because in both of these, comes of personal growth in myself. Before this, I didn’t know I could pull off a 15 band ensemble. Before this year, I didn’t know how I’d recover from losing my laptop. Before this year I didn’t know how’d I be able to put this personal stuff out. At the same time, I equated the crossroads to that of two different doors (in connection to the first song of the show). One door you open and you’ll forever be in that cocoon in your fears, OR will you go through the other door and face these said fears and actually break out of the cocoon?

Verse 1: Little boy little boy what is you doing/The choices you’re pursuing/Don’t seem right in my eyes/And I know and I know these thoughts just cruising/Around your brain, it’s insane, mental strain, making it hard to maintain/So what

does one do/When the past haunts you/And just like a spook/Follows every move/That you make/Mistakes/Sure to come your way/As you enter these crossroads/You

got to go through these two different doors Chorus: You gotta open one of those/Just be careful cause once it close/No turnin’ back that’s that no more/Cause life is two different doors Verse 2: Little boy little boy please god you’d notice/You only got 2 choices/One which you gotta live by/Either face your trails and tribulations/Or let them handle you and strangle you and banish you from reaching consolation/You gotta persevere/You gotta face your fears/Now open one of these doors/To make that ghost no more/So please I plead pick the right one/Before you exit these crossroads/You got to go through these two different doors

Open And Close

To close out this whole thang, I wanted to have a physical representation of the doors. Hence the title and the dancers (re-enacting with movements of their own interpretations) along with the production. The “opening” represented by the dark and brooding first half symbolizing the process of dealing with all of those “skeletons-filled” rooms. The closing represented with the serene and peaceful second half knowing that you made it out and achieved that freedom/sense of metamorphosis.

Production: Dj Ogun Dancers: Savannah Lyons Anthony, Micah Thomas, & Naja

Gordon Guitars: Alexander Graf, Andrei Kvapil

Bass: Lucas McCrosson Trumpets: Satchel Fisher, Trygve Butler

Trombone: Nick Reilingh Tenor Sax: Miles Leon Barnett

Alto Sax: Paul Duhe Drums: Marco Spodek

Violin: Gabrielle Berbey Viola: Matthea Rile-Schmidt

Cello: Luna AlonsoSingers: Briana Ramsey Tyler, Raina Sokolov-Gonzalez, Paul

Duhe, and Montanez Baugh

Sound Crew Magicians: Thomas Mark, Paul Parker Andrew Feyer, Michael Boutenoff, and Marcel Rudin