2

From My HeartDear Readers,

I love little children. They make me laugh when they get up to their antics. I worry when they are sick. They constantly challenge me as they try to get their own way. Many times, I am tempted to just enjoy them and forget my responsibility to “train them in the way they should go” as the Bible says. But they won’t be little children forever. Soon they will grow up, and it’s no longer cute when they make wrong decisions, hurting themselves and their future.

So how can we help our children become successful? In this issue, a celebrity mother shares how she taught her children to make good choices. We also asked a psychologist about how children think and how adults can influence their thinking. We have included articles on how we can prepare them for school; teach them how to pray; save money and ways we can inspire them to do household chores.

While all these mean hard work, patience, diligence, and consistent prodding, let us remember that we can partner with God in this noble task. All we need to do is go to Him and ask.

Evelyn Damian, Issue Editor

Thank you for your financial help!• Kasibu Christian Fellowship AG, Poblacion Kasibu,

Nueva Vizcaya • North Eastern Luzon District (CAMACOP), Cauayan,

Isabela • St. John Academy, Guagua, Pampanga • Rev. Andres Kho, Quezon City

Reader’s LettersDear MOMS,

One of my prayers every morning is for God to give me wisdom and power to win souls. I attempted to share the Gospel to my officemates but I failed to lead them to Christ. One time I saw Moms Magazines in our church so I gave a copy each to my officemates. I felt elated because most of them appreciated the magazine’s content. Praise God, through MOMS I can minister to others.

From Kasibu, Nueva Vizcaya

Dear MOMS, This is to express our deepest thanks for providing

our college library copies of your magazine. This is a great contribution to our school—we need such kind of materials for our students. Articles are of various facets of our lives and our students enjoy reading it!

From Caloocan City

Editor’s Page

EditorKimberly SniderGuest Editor Evelyn DamianDistribution

Johnson LiCover & Layout

Patrick Tan

Published quarterly by Asia Pacific Media Ministries

Unit 2608 Raffles Corporate Center,Emerald Avenue, Ortigas Center,

1605 Pasig City, PhilippinesTelephone: 914-9767

E-mail: moms@apmedia.orgReproduction of photos and articles is prohibited

without permission.

We need a little help from our friends...This publication has no subscription price. MOMS is supported completely through contributions. If you want to make a donation to help produce and distribute MOMS, it will be used entirely for the continued outreach of this publication. Send cash or check made payable to: Asia Pacific Media Ministries FAO MOMS. You can call our office to ask for instructions for direct deposit or use our BPI, C/A #2431-0042-27. We are thankful for your help!

Phot

o by

Alv

in A

bad

3

How do you prepare children for school? “Well, put simply, give them a sense of security,” Mrs. Emelyn

Taganas-Akkermans (Teacher Emie) quickly answered in an interview a few weeks ago. Teacher Emie has taught for 20 years and is now serving as the President of Word International School.

According to Teacher Emie, secure children make the most successful students in the classroom and they become the most successful adults. Preparing children for school is not just buying the correct school supplies. It is the process of preparing them for the emotional moment when they enter the school grounds, it is preparing them to face life with confidence.

Here are ways to help children have a sense of security:

Look at the specific giftings, special abilities, talents, skills, inclinations and favorite pastimes of the child. Recent educational research has revealed that there are multiple intelligence types and different learning styles, all of which are valid ways to think and learn. Parents need to realize that their own dreams of being a doctor, engineer, or businessman may not be the same careers that their children will want. Children are young persons unique in themselves, and need to be able to express their own creativity. They should not feel like they have to compete with others but they should constantly challenge themselves to improve.

Enable the child to appreciate school as an extension of the home. When school is considered to be an extension of home, there will be less separation anxiety for the child. School should not be seen as a threat to the well-being of the child but be regarded as a partner to the child’s growth. That is why it is important for the parent to find out what school is best for the child. Parents should research on the school’s vision-mission-philosophy

statements and assess if these all align with how they want their children to be brought up.

Create a loving atmos-phere at home. While a no-conflict, no-tension home seems too far-flung a dream for anyone, parents should at least let the child see that problems are solved peacefully between members of the family, especially the father and the mother. It is impossible for any home to be totally without conflict and tension free, but parents should model peaceful problem solving when conflicts arise between family members.

Emphasize the value of socialization and cooperation. School is a place where kids meet new people, friends and playmates. Sometimes conflicts arise between them and these other people. This is when children learn they can’t always get what they want by sheer force. As children begin to understand the value of togetherness, they learn social skills that will help them adapt to new environments that they will encounter in the future.

Remind the child that fear is normal but it can be overcome. Always keep communication lines open with your child. Make it a habit to ask him how the day went.

And finally, entrust the child’s future to God, the Lifegiver. At the end of the day, the best preparation for school is to teach him biblical principles that will surely give him wisdom. Pray for your child each time he goes to school. Remember, time is never wasted in prayer.

“Weird!” That’s usually the reaction I got from friends when I refused to smoke or go to parties when I was still in school. Now that I have grown up, I realize that most of my decisions and choices were influenced by what my parents taught me and how they raised me.

One of my earliest memories is going to church with my dad and mom. My mom made sure I attended Sunday School. She said I should listen to my teacher intently because the Bible stories and lessons she would share was what God wanted to tell me.

At home, my mom and dad would take turns to read to me Bible stories. We prayed together before going to bed, thanked God for His love, guidance and grace.

I saw how my parents demonstrated their love of God by the way they took care of me, disciplined me and forgave me when I made mistakes. I treat people with kindness and respect because that’s how I observed my parents treating other people.

I grew up knowing that God was a part and the head of our household. This is because whenever we received blessings, we thanked Him, and whenever we had problems, we consulted Him.

The experiences and lessons I learned during my childhood remain imprinted in my mind and heart to this day. I know that they will continue to influence how I make decisions for the rest of my life.

How to Prepare Children for Schoolby Hazel Javier

What I learned from My Parentsby Katherine Banzon

Mind & Spirit

Teacher Emie during one of her lectures

4

“When I grow up, I want to be a…Nurse,” I remember saying this in pre-school. It wasn’t so much

about a career choice but more about which job title is easiest to remember when you’re nervous on stage. Suffice it to say, I never became a ‘Nurse’.

What kind of choices can kids really make? Teaching children make good choices while they are young will make it easier for them to make good choices when they grow up. How do we teach kids about making good life choices? Can their young minds grasp this critical life skill?

A Mom’s Experience

In an online interview with Ms. Maricel Laxa- Pangilinan, a celebrity mom who is a professional parenting coach and a mother of four, we asked her about her personal experience on teaching her children to make good decisions and life choices.

In your opinion, what is the right age for kids to start learning about making good choices?

“As early as when they were born. For example, when a child cries, do we give milk just because there is a cry or do we determine the source of the cry first? Giving milk to a baby that needs its nappies changed, fails to meet the child’s real needs.”

Maricel explained that, if this becomes the pattern, it may instill crying only as a form of getting attention, it doesn’t help the child develop a “cry pattern” that matches particular needs.

How did you train your children make good decisions and life choices?

“There is no need to go out of our way to try to find ways to teach our children about making good choices. We can instill many values by simply explaining the reasons behind how we go about our daily routines. For example, when eating, I emphasize that food is a blessing and that is why we thank God when we say grace before we eat and ask God to bless the hands that prepared it. We also pray that God will use us to help provide for the needs of others.”

Maricel also sees to it that they practice good manners and engage in healthy conversations while eating.

“We also make sure our children eat healthy food because we honor God through the way we take care of our bodies. We dress appropriately during meals because we show respect when coming together for a meal. We allow our children to leave the table only when they have excused themselves and when

every morsel of food has been consumed on their plates. Simple tasks such as eating can be a fantastic environment to learn a gamut of values.”

Now that your kids have grown up, have they had the chance to make any of those critical life decisions you were preparing them for?

“Yes, in many instances. For example, during a test, my son Donny decided not to answer a particular item even when he knew the answer because he accidentally glanced at a classmate and saw his test paper. It had the answer he was going

Ms. Maricel Laxa-Pangilinan with Anthony and kids.

5

to answer, he felt uneasy and in order to feel at peace with it, decided to forego the point that he could have earned.

Even while most of her friends were already open to having boyfriends, my daughter (Ella) decided she was not ready to have one yet because she had decided to wait for God’s best at God’s appointed time. For us, that is so precious.

My younger daughter, Hannah has severe skin asthma that is triggered by certain foods and chemicals. When she chooses not to eat a certain food even if she loves it so much – is already a moment that is worth celebrating...it means she has learned to prevent herself from getting allergies.

My youngest son, Benjamin struggled with his Filipino subject in school. As a champion triathlete, he could have just focused on sports but because he knows the value that he needs to put in his academics, he has made a choice to improve his grades by having the discipline to study as soon as he gets home and then diligently cooperates with me on his schoolwork. As a result, his grades improved dramatically, something that has boosted his self esteem which inspires him to continue the habits that he has been accustomed to that led to this improved grades.”

Maricel started instilling the value of making good choices in her children very early on…at age zero. A person’s capacity to learn starts from birth!

Jean Piaget, a Swiss psychologist, in his Theory of Cognitive Development says that: “The child (at age 0 to 2), through physical interaction with his or her environment, builds a set of concepts about reality and how it works.”*

The Young Child’s Psyche

Helping children learn the difficult skill of making positive, appropriate choices is a big part of parenting. A key factor that will help parents know how to teach their children is to know how their young minds work.

In a personal inter-view with Ms. Libertine Lee, a Psychotherapist at the Alliance Graduate Seminary, working with children, teens or adults in private practice, we asked her about how a child’s mind works and how adults influence their way of thinking in terms of making decisions and choices.

Is the decision making process in adults the same for children?

“Decisions are affected both by emotions and the mind, even in children. Since children are still developing cognitively, they cannot immediately judge what’s right and what’s wrong so their decisions are affected more by their emotions and by whatever verbal and nonverbal responses and reaction patterns they pick up from their parents. Generally, children are not yet equipped to make life choices so they depend on their parents.”

How can parents help their children develop a habit of making good decisions and good life choices?

“In terms of cognitive development, preschoolers are still in the stage of what we call “Magical Thinking” where everything is possible. The parents have to make the child see what is realistic and what is not. Always granting unrealistic requests might lead the child into thinking that he can have anything that he wants, without thinking about the consequences. On the other hand, ignoring a child’s wish without explaining the reason why may develop low self-esteem in the child. The child might think that his opinion is useless.

If the parents do not allow the child to do something (e.g., touching a hot stove), they have to explain the reason why. It is okay to allow the child to explore but parents need to make calculated risks and should always be there as a guide. Parents need to explain the cause and effect, and the consequences of a child‘s actions.

Overprotection, on the other extreme, emphasizes limitations and restrictions on the child, set by an authority figure. In adulthood this child might grow up to be a person who’s scared of exploring options and who will always depend on his authority figure to make the decision.

In cases where the child always gets his own way, this results in a child not following the parents and so his decision making or choice does not consider the opinion of others but only himself.”

Libertine also mentioned that inconsistent standards of discipline confuse the child resulting in a “chaotic” (“magulo” or indecisive) personality that may be carried into childhood.

“People who did not learn to decide cannot function well as adults. If you cannot decide, somebody else will do it for you.” Dr. Lee pointed out.

The Biblical Perspective

Lastly, consider what the Bible says about how early-on a person needs to be trained on choosing the right way. Proverbs 22:6 says,

“Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.”

Make a Difference

5 *Source: http://integratingtech301.pbworks.com/w/page/20021428/Characterisitcs-of-Developmental-Theory

Ms. Libertine Lee

6

With prices going up

these days, parents can’t afford for their children to get sick. One of the ways to prevent sickness in our children is to vaccinate them. This will help a child’s body fight against the disease when exposed to it. Vaccination may seem an added expense but it’s all worth it. Medical treatments for these dangerous diseases are costly and contracting the disease could cause permanent damage to your child or their future offspring. For instance, a woman who doesn’t have MMR vaccine may get German measles while she is pregnant. German measles is known to cause mental disabilities, deafness and vision problems in unborn babies.

Some of these vaccines are available at your barangay health centers free of charge. Consult your pediatrician to administer other required immunizations that the health center does not give. Below is information on what and when to have your child get the vaccine needed.

Pearl Meat Balls

Nutritious Baonby Marivic Salandanan

Banana-Cinnamon Roll

Immunizations Protect Your Child from Diseases

Body & Soul

Basic Immunizations1st dose 2nd dose 3rd dose

BCG after birth

DPT 6 weeks 10 weeks 14 weeks

OPV 6 weeks 10 weeks 14 weeks

MV 9 months

HepB 6 weeks 10 weeks 14 weeks

Recommended Immunizations

1st dose 2nd dose 3rd dose

MMR 15 months

H influenza B 6 weeks 10 weeks 14 weeks

Chicken Pox 2 years old

Abbreviations are as follows:• BCG - prevents extrapulmonary TB• DPT - diphtheria, pertusis, and tetanus• OPV - oral dose of polio• MV - measles, rubeola• HepB - hepatitis B• MMR - German measles, mumps, rubella

Ingredients:½ kilo ground pork2 tbsp. hibe (dried shrimps), soaked in water, chopped1 tbsp. chopped green onion6 pcs. water chestnuts or ¼ cup singkamas, chopped finely then squeeze to remove juice

2 tsp. soy sauce½ tsp. salt1 pc. egg2 tbsp. cornstarch1½ cup glutinous rice (malagkit) soaked overnight or at least for 3 hrs.

Procedure:Combine all ingredients except glutinous rice. Mix well.

Chill until ready to use. Roll a spoonful of mixture between your palms to form a ball about 1” in diameter. Roll meat balls in glutinous rice. When all the balls have been prepared, arrange them in a steamer tray and place it over a pan of boiling water. Steam for 12-15 minutes or until glutinous rice is cooked. Serve with soy sauce.

Ingredients:3 pcs. ripe saging na saba, peeled and sliced vertically into 8 pcs.Small lumpia wrappers, cut in half

½ tsp. cinnamon powder 1 cup brown sugarSesame seedsOil for deep frying

Procedure:Mix cinnamon powder and ½ cup of brown

sugar. Coat saba in cinnamon-sugar mixture. Put each piece of saba in lumpia wrapper and roll tightly. Deep fry over medium heat. Sprinkle with the remaining sugar and continue frying until golden brown. Remove from pan. Sprinkle with sesame seeds. Best when served hot and crispy but for baon, cool first before wrapping.

7

Love in Action by Rufina A. Fajardo

My father became an OFW when I was three. When he returned to the Philippines permanently after six

years, he was really disappointed to learn I didn’t know how to do household chores. Back then I had no clue what the fuss was about because a helper always did the work for me.

In my teen years, when I moved out of our house, I learned the hard way. And in order to spare other children from the hardships I went through, I made a vow that, if I was in the position to do so, I would teach them differently.

In dealing with my niece and nephews, I’ve learned three lessons.

1. Allow children to learn from their mistakes. Aldrin, at age two, used to watch me doing things around the house. When he took hold of my pliers, I knew he would be hurt and told him so. But he did not know the meaning of the word “hurt,” so he grabbed the tool and accidentally cut a thin layer of skin from his thigh with it. “Now, you are hurt,” I told him, and I believed that would teach him a priceless lesson in life. He did cry a bit, but after that, I showed him the other tools, how they are used, and named them one by one. I taught him how to handle each one with care so he would not be “hurt.” Now, at age four, he normally assists me with repair work, because he knows the tools and how to handle them properly.

2. Appreciate the child’s effort, even if it means you have to exert more. At age three, Joy wanted to do the dishes. I allowed her to do them. That meant I had to stay beside her throughout the process to make sure she did not fall off the sink. I thanked her, afterwards. When she was sleeping, I did the dishes again. We went through that routine several times. Sometimes, I was tempted to reject her offer, but I thought it was just a matter of time before she would be able to do the dishes correctly. At the age of four, she is already good at washing dishes and scrubbing pans. One time, she hugged me and told me, “Tita, I love it here because you allow me to do the dishes!”

3. Know what makes the child tick. One of my nephews was addicted to computer games. At age six, I couldn’t even depend on him to sweep the floor. But that didn’t last long. I designed a game which is divided into levels. A player has to earn a certain number of “points” to get to the next level. For each chore, there is a corresponding “point.” The point system is printed and posted on the wall. Different school supplies are the prizes for each level. But starting at the third level, there’s a bonus of one hour computer game time. And the result? He did most of the chores early in the morning.

Teaching children to work is love in action. It is not easy to see children make mistakes, or to spend time and effort teaching them skills or finding out how to motivate them. It takes patience, time and wisdom to deal with each child.

Teaching Kids about Moneyby Kendrick Chua

When I was growing up, my parents asked me what I wanted for my eighth birthday. I replied excitedly

that I wanted a Dino Rider action figure. It was a very popular cartoon back then and some of the richer kids I knew had one, or even two! My parents rejected the idea saying the toy was too expensive. I can’t remember if I was disappointed or not, but the incident remains indelibly imprinted in my memory. Whether they realized it or not, my parents had taught me one important thing about money—it doesn’t grow on trees.

Kids rarely understand how hard it is to earn a living. They may know their parents struggle to provide for them, but they will only really know what the stress of providing for a family is like when they become parents themselves.

Professional financial managers and money coaches, Sarah de Leon and Carmela Catapang know that training their children money management skills at an early age will help them become financially responsible and successful in the future. They provide the following

advice: Save it. “By providing a coin

bank for my son, not only am I teaching him the discipline of

saving a part of his allowance, but I am also teaching him about goal setting,” says Sarah. Her son is turning eight but has already been taught to set aside part of his allowance in his coin bank. Sarah starts every year by setting a feasible

target with her son. If he successfully reaches that

amount by the end of the year, Sarah rewards him by doubling

what he has accumulated. Her son can use the money to buy whatever he wants. “It also teaches him the importance of patiently

waiting for a reward,” adds Sarah. Earn it. Some parents teach their children to work

hard for money. The kids do household chores, run errands and other things that can help them earn. That’s fine but Carmela would rather have her son work smart than work hard. Because her son loves to draw, she encouraged him to draw greeting cards and bookmarks and sell them to his friends. “At an early age, he is already learning entrepreneurial skills and more importantly, he is earning from what he loves doing,” Carmela beams.

Offer it. Both mothers agree that perhaps the best way to teach kids the value of money is to encourage them to offer it. “My son offers part of what he receives to the church when he attends services. By doing so, he learns how bountifully blessed he is,” says Sarah. Carmela adds, “At such a young age, he fully understands that God looks at the heart, not at the amount. He knows he won’t get embarrassed at whatever he puts in the envelope.”

When kids learn proper stewardship of money at an early age, they are on the right track to achieving the prosperity the Bible also mentioned.

Love & Money

To Start A Relationship with Christ

Admit you have sinned. “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” Romans 3:23

Believe in Jesus. “For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish; but have eternal life.” John 3:16b

Confess and leave your sin behind. Stop sinning. “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just, and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” 1 John 1:9

To continue growing in your relationship with Christ, fellowship with other believers, read the Bible and pray!

QA

“How can I help my small child grow up loving the Lord? It seems easy to guide him at home but how can I prepare him to live a godly life outside of home.”

The Bible says, “Train up a child in the way that he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it.” (Proverbs 22:6)Train them, train them, and train them in godliness. Children’s minds are like sponges that absorb things, concepts, and ideas very quickly. Responsible parents will have their child

immunized against disease and sicknesses. In the same way, godly parents will intentionally immunize their child against the ungodly atmosphere of the world. They will intentionally instill godly values in their children. Here are some guidelines:

• Pray with them daily. Model how it is to communicate with our heavenly Father. • Read the Bible with them. Be creative as you tell Bible stories; interact with them as they

learn lessons from the scriptures. • Encourage open communication. Let them know that you are ready to listen to them. • Model godliness. Remember they are observing you. What are you teaching by your

words, actions, reactions, and attitudes? Are you forgiving, caring, thoughtful, truthful and merciful? Let them see God in you.

You can’t be with them all the time but the things they learn about God will be with them all their life. Trust God for their care and protection.

Usapang PamilyaDVD collection Volume 5

FEATuRES 3 FAMILY ISSuES:• Ako si Tatay

(Fatherhood)• Kalinga (Raising

children)• Si Nanay ay Si Tatay

(Single parenting)

Read MOMS onlineLog-on to www.apmedia.org/moms to read all issues online. You may also find us on Facebook (Look for “Moms Magazine”).

Available at House of Praise, OMF Lit Bookshops, PCBS, Amazing Grace Bookstore, St. Francis Bookstore and APMedia Office. Also available online at www.usapangpamilyavideos.multiply.com.