living and loving unconditionallyfeaturingDr. Stephen Franson

The Channel:

“The Path of Least Resistance”

living unconditionally

• independent of circumstances • based on choice• vision based• anchored

• inspired• stable• flexible• in gratitude

“We’ll see.”

living unconditionally

• that you experience fewer stressors• move away from stress• avoid stressful situations / people

Does not imply:

living unconditionally

• learn to respond (vs. react)• develop better coping mechanisms• develop flexibility • better communication skills

living conditionally

• based on circumstances • living at effect• outcome based• elation / depression

• unanchored• unstable• stressful• exhaustive

“Which trail are you on?”

TO GET TO LODGE A, TAKE TRAILS 1, 2 OR 3TO GET TO LODGE B, TAKE TRAILS 4, 5 OR 6

traverse

• You realize that you are on the wrong trail• Used to get onto different path or trail• Often hard work at first, then easier• Leads directly to where you want to be

1. Change is possible.2. It is worth it.3. You can do it.

Create the life that you want.

The Path of Least ResistanceRobert Fritz

The Creative Process

What do you want? What do you have?

• Choosing a Desired Outcome• Accurate Assessment of Current Reality• Compare Vision with Current Reality• Discrepancy creates Structural Tension

Structural Tension

What do you want? What do you have?

“A Dynamic of Structure that causes energy to move along the Path of Least Resistance”

• Tension seeks resolution (ex: thirst)• Harness the creative energy of nature

What do you HAVE?

• Current Belief System• Internal Dialogue• Choices & Behavior Patterns***• Current Reality

ACCURATE OBJECTIVE ASSESSMENT

What do you WANT?

• Belief System• Internal Dialogue• Choices &Behavior Patterns***• Current Reality

CLEAR AND DETAILED VISION

“I want…” “I don’t want…”

blank.

“Don’t fix, change.”

“Don’t Fix, Change.”

• If you are sick, what do you really want?• If you are in debt, what do you really want?• If you are in a terrible relationship, what do you really want?

What do you really want to create?

loving unconditionally

• predictable• stable• inside-out• shared

• independent of circumstances• despite behavior• a choice, not a feeling• a decision, not a sentiment

“Giving love even when there is no reason to loveand no guarantee that it will be returned.”

loving conditionally

• unpredictable• unstable• outside-out• selfish

• situational• based on behaviors• based on feelings• reactive

“We offer love and support to those whopresent the promise of returning it.”

Essential ElementsInnate Daily Requirements

• Our genes determine our needs• Genes shaped over the millennia• Programmed to do 2 things:

•Survive•Reproduce

• We are social creatures• Motivational Triad• Feelings• Successful Choices and Behaviors• As Individuals and in Relationships:

“We have needs”

G.P.S.

“Genetic Positioning System”

“We have needs.”

• Our Innate Needs are Hard-wired• GPS - protective mechanisms• Climbing• Control Dramas• Crucial Conversations

Crucial Conversations

unconditional:• safety• mutual objective

conditional:• threatened• manipulation

silence ------------------ violenceCrucial ConversationsKerry Patterson, et. Al.

Create the Relationships that you want.

• Traverse• Creative Process• Choose to Elevate Communications• Respond Don’t React• Be Mindful: Create Safety• Listen / Regain Trust• Forgive

bathymetry

• Debris • Forgive not Forget• A New Economy: Grace

forgiveness

As for Me and My HouseWalter Wangerin, Jr.

Create the life that you want.

living and loving unconditionallyfeaturingDr. Stephen Franson