local news 2013.pdfadult bereavement support groups calvert hospice 410/535-0892, (301) 855-1226...

Dec-Jan 2013

OUR MISSION When a child dies, at any age, the family suffers intense pain and may feel hopeless and isolated. The Compassionate Friends pro-vides highly personal comfort, hope, and support to every family experiencing the death of a son or a daughter, a brother or a sister, or a grandchild, and helps others better assist the grieving family. For more information call Pat Pruss at 301-934-1688 or email [email protected], or call 1-800-TCF-7301. Visit our website at http://tcfsouthernmd.wallacecreations.net/

LOCAL NEWS

COPYRIGHT 2013, The Compassionate Friends, Inc.

Annual Worldwide Candle Lighting Service

On Sunday December 9th, TCF of Southern Maryland held its annual World-

wide Candle Lighting Event to honor our children, grandchildren, and siblings

that have gone too soon. Five unity candles were lit representing Grief, Cour-

age, Memory, Love, and Hope. Then a single taper was lit and passed around

as we all lit our individual candles and spoke the names of our loved ones

(Brandy Tulley, Facilitator pictured top left honoring her son Austin). Several

parents read poems that have particular significance to them (Pat Pruss, Chap-

ter Leader pictured bottom right honoring her son Nick). We listened to music

that helped to set the mood to celebrate the lives of our loved ones (Stephen

Clay, Chapter Secretary pictured top right honoring his daughter Stephanie).

Afterwards, we enjoyed delicious snacks as we socialized with friends, both

old and new. Thanks to all who made this a memorable event.

The Compassionate Friends of Southern Maryland Dec-Jan 2013

Chapter Steering Committee

Chapter Leader Pat Pruss

301-753-4121 [email protected]

Newsletter Editor Pat Pruss (acting) 301-753-4121 [email protected]

Grp. Facilitator– Charles Co. Connie Gerhardt 301-373-4775

Charles Co. United Way Rep. Open

301-753-4121

Grp. Facilitator - Calvert Co. Carol Paschall

301-855-3068 [email protected]

Secretary Open

Treasurer Carol Paschall 301-855-3068 [email protected]

Calvert Co. United Way Rep. Open

______________________________________________

The Compassionate Friends of Southern Maryland

P.O. Box 1427 Prince Frederick, MD 20678

1-800-TCF-7301

http://www.wallacecreations.com/TCF_SOMD/

If anyone is interested in becoming a telephone friend,

contact Linda McInturff @ 301-274-9597 or

[email protected].

TCF Internet Chat Sessions http://www.compassionatefriends.org

Click on “Resources”/ “Online Support” Monday 9 - 10 am P/G/S Monday 9-10 pm Bereaved one year or less

Monday 10-11 pm P/G/S

Tuesday 9-10 pm Bereaved Under 2 Years

Tuesday 9-10 pm Bereaved Over 2 Years

Wednesday 9 - 10 pm P/G/S

Wednesday 10 - 11 pm P/G/S

Thursday 8 - 9 pm No Surviving Children

Thursday 9 - 10 pm P/G/S

Friday 8 - 9 pm Survivors of Suicide

Friday 9-10 pm P/G/S

Friday 10-11 pm P/G/S

Saturday 9-10 pm P/G/S

Saturday 10-11pm P/G/S

Sunday 8-9 pm P/G/S

Sunday 9-10 pm P/G/S

Sunday 9-11 pm Pregnancy/Infant loss

P=Parents,G=Grandparents,S=Siblings

Last updated January 2013

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ THANK YOU, TELEPHONE FRIENDS!

Sometimes we feel the need to talk to someone who

understands the pain we feel and will listen to us:

Pat Pruss (Auto Accident) 301-934-1688

Connie Gerhardt (Infant Death & Chronic Illness)301-373-4775

Lin Hayes ( Infant Death & Miscarriage ) 301-743-3508

Lisa Sperka (Suicide loss) 301-934-2614

Brandy Tulley (Infant loss) 240-434-8414

We are seeking your support to expand our list-

ing of telephone friends.

If anyone is interested in becoming a telephone friend, contact

Janet Sutton @ 301-932-7335

Chapter Steering Committee Chapter Leader Pat Pruss 301-934-1688 [email protected]

Newsletter Editor Janet and Rich Sutton 301-932-7335 [email protected]

Treasurer Carol Paschall 301-855-3068 [email protected]

Secretary Stephen Clay 301-812-1745 [email protected]

Librarian Janet Sutton 301-932-7335 [email protected]

Charles County Group. Facilitator Pat Pruss 301-934-1688 [email protected]

Charles Co. United Way Rep. Lin Hayes 301-743-3508

Calvert County Group Facilitator Carol Paschall 301-855-3068 [email protected]

Calvert Co. United Way Rep. Carol Paschall 301-855-3068 [email protected]

St. Mary’s Co. Group Facilitator Brandy Tulley 240-434-8414 [email protected]

St. Mary’s Co. United Way Rep. open

OTHER GROUPS FOR GRIEF HEALING IN

SOUTHERN MARYLAND

CHILD BEREAVEMENT SUPPORT GROUPS

Next Session: October 1st – November 19th, 2009. Register by Sept. 19th

Bridges - For bereaved children, adolescents, aged 5-18,

and those adults who care for them. For info call:

Calvert Hospice 410/535-0892

Teen Phoenix Fall 2009 Overnight retreat for Teens 14 – 18, Grieving The Death Of A Loved One

Registration is required 410/535-0892

PG Co. Compassionate Friends - United Parish of

Bowie, 2nd Thursday of Month at 7:00 pm. 301-877-

3484

ADULT BEREAVEMENT SUPPORT GROUPS Calvert Hospice 410/535-0892, (301) 855-1226

Charles Hospice 301/934-1268

St. Mary’s Hospice 301-475-6423

Healing for Survivors of Suicide” 5:30pm to 7:30pm - 2nd and 4th Thursday of each month. Calvert Hospice Office, Prince Frederick

____________________________________________________

On-Line Grief Resources

GonetooSoon.org

GriefHaven.com

Our Website

Check us for meeting information, contacts

and to send us email

http://tcfsouthernmd.wallacecreations.net/

OTHER GROUPS FOR GRIEF HEALING IN

SOUTHERN MARYLAND

PG Co. Compassionate Friends - United Parish of

Bowie, 2nd Thursday of Month at 7:00 pm. 301-877-

3484 (please call to confirm info.)

ADULT BEREAVEMENT SUPPORT GROUPS Calvert Hospice 410-535-0892, 301-855-1226

Charles Hospice 301-934-1268, 1-888-934-1268

St. Mary’s Hospice 301-994-3023

____________________________________________________

On-Line Grief Resources

thehealingplaceinfo.org

GonetooSoon.org

GriefHaven.com

www.azhomicidesurvivors.org

www.forsuicidesurvivors.com

Nationalshare.org (pregnancy and infant loss)

Our Website

Check us for meeting information, contacts

and to send us email

http://tcfsouthernmd.wallacecreations.net/

_________________________________

Compassionate Friends National Office

900 Jorie Blvd., Suite 78

Oak Brook, IL. 60523

1-(877)-969-0010

www.compassionatefriends.org

Regional Coordinator: Janet Sutton

[email protected]

301-932-7335


INCLEMENT WEATHER POLICY: Mtg. is cancelled if evening events are cancelled in that county.

Charles County Group Good Samaritan Presbyterian Church (Fellowship Hall)

For more information call Meets the 3rd Monday 13025 Good Samaritan Drive

Pat Pruss 301-934-1688 of the month at 7:30 p.m. Waldorf, MD (south Rt. 5 across

Dec. 17 and Jan. 21 from Billingsley Rd. next to

Grace Brethren Church) Calvert County Group Trinity Methodist Church (Parlor)

For more information call Meets the 4th Monday 90 Church St.

Carol Paschall 301-855-3068 of the month at 7:30 p.m. Prince Frederick, MD

Dec. mtg Cx and Jan. 28 (Rt. 231 East, crossover Rt. 4)

St. Mary’s County Group First Saints Community Church ( Room 2) For more information call Meets the 2nd Thursday 25550 Point Lookout Rd

Brandy Tulley 240-434-8414 of the month at 7:00 p.m. Leonardtown, MD

Dec. 13 and Jan 10 (On Rt. 5, just past Moakley St.,

on the left before St. Mary’s Hosp.)

MONTHLY MEETING SCHEDULE

THE COMPASSIONATE FRIENDS

......OUR CREDO.....

We need not walk alone...We are The

Compassionate Friends. We reach out with

love, with understanding, and with hope.

Our children have died at all ages and from

many different causes, but our love for our

children unites us. Your pain becomes my pain, just as

your hope becomes my hope. We come together from all

walks of life, from many different circumstances. We are

a unique family, because we represent many races and

creeds. We are young, and we are old. Some of us are far

along in our grief, but others still feel a grief so fresh and

so intensely painful that we feel helpless and see no hope.

Some of us have found our faith to be a source of strength;

some of us are struggling to find answers. Some of us are

angry; filled with guilt, or in deep depression; others

radiate an inner peace. But whatever pain we bring to

this gathering of The Compassionate Friends, it is pain

we will share just as we share with each other our love for

our children. We are all seeking and struggling to build a

future for ourselves, but we are committed to building that

future together as we reach out to each other in love and

share the pain as well as the joy, share the anger as well

as the peace, share the faith as well as the doubts, and

help each other to grieve as well as to grow.

We need not walk alone. . .

We are The Compassionate Friends

Love Gifts

The Compassionate Friends have no

dues or fees. One way you can sup-

port us is with a love gift. Many fami-

lies make donations, usually in

memory of their children.

Thank you for the following Love

Gifts:

Charles & Elsie Tyler

In loving memory of their daughter

Heidi M. Tyler


***OUR CHILDREN REMEMBERED***

Crystal Bergdoll Daughter of Frances and Ernest Bergdoll December 1967 to March 1990 Juanita Bovell Daughter of Brent and Deborah Bovell December 1988 to August 2006 Jason Burke Jr. Son of Megan Burke December 2007 to July 2009 Rileigh Canlas Daughter of Cami and John Canlas December 2008 to May 2010 Kevin Corley Son of Wayne and Gale Corley December 1975 to April 2002 Mary Ann Daugherty Daughter of Norma & the late Aaron Edwards December 1954 to November 2002 Monica Holeman Sister of Sharon Holeman January 1986 to September 2008 Thomas (TJ) Holly III Son of Marion M. and Eric Jones January 1980 to July 2002 Jean Holman Daughter of Lillian R. and Floyd W. Dowdy December 1950 to June 2003

Joseph “Joey” Husick III Son of Joseph and Andrea Husick January 1970 to June 2000 John McGovern Son of Virginia McGovern December 1948 to May 2004 Stephanie Milagros-Almeida-Clay Daughter of Steve and Toni Clay December 1994 to January 2004 Noel Reynolds Son of Randy and Jerri Reynolds December 1990 to October 2007 Jordan Sansbury Daughter of Amy Hall January 2004 to April 2005 Evan Shutt Son of Lester Shutt January 2006 to April 2006 Brian Simpson Son of Laurie and Brian Simpson January 1988 to June 2005

Jamie Stiles Son of Helen & Jim Bohle December 1972 to September 2000 John Stratchko Son of Alesia and James Stratchko December 1988 – May 2010

Austin Tulley Son of Brandy and Nick Tulley December 2008 to May 2009 Michael Jr. Ward Son of Juanita and Michael Ward Sr. December 1986 to December 2010 Michael Ward-Mandragos Son of Stephen & Charlotte Mandragos December 1983 to March 2006 Brandon Weber Son of Bambi Cusic December 2000 to July 2002 Chris Whetson Son of Kim Fox December 1963 to November 2006 Robert White Son of Stephanie White January 1982 to July 2002 Melissa White Daughter of Donna and Jim White January 1976 to March 2005 DeAndre White Son of Cherly and Mark White December 1992 to November 2010

SUNRISE Please accept our apologies in advance if we have any errors/omissions in the “Our Children Remem-bered” section……...please call Janet Sutton @ 301-932-7335 so she can print a correction in the next

newsletter and make the database manager aware of the issue.


***OUR CHILDREN REMEMBERED***

SUNSET

Timothy Alger Son of JoAnn McMullen October 1979 to January 2000 Erin Carr Daughter of Mark and Carolyn Carr July 1982 to December 2007 Chandler Friedrich Son of Kellie and Jamie Friedrich March 2004 to January 2007 Daniel Garity Son of James and Anna Garity February 1977 to December 2001 Justin Mangum Son of Raymond and Charlotte Mangum August 1982 to December 2002

Michael Martin Son of Bill and Mary Jane Martin November 1971 to December 2002 Stephanie Nohe Daughter of Linda Turner August 1980 to December 2005 Michael Reardon Son of Lynn Bridges October 1983 to December 2008 Jordan Riley Son of Deborah and Larry Riley February 1983 to December 2001 Dane Roberson Son of Carolyn and Owen Roberson April 1978 to January 1994

Becky Smith Daughter of Gail L. Smith June 1980 to January 2001 Stephanie Swiegowski Daughter of Anita Adams & Richard Lennon February 1964 to January 2004 Heidi Tyler Daughter of Charles and Elsie Tyler November 1962 to January 1992

Please accept our apologies in advance if we have any errors/omissions in the “Our Children Remembered” section……...please call Janet Sutton @ 301-932-7335 so she can print a

correction in the next newsletter and make the database manager aware of the issue.

Current events

We in TCF of Southern Maryland continue to keep the friends and families of the Newtown, CT community in our warm-

est thoughts as we know all too well the lasting impact of such a tragedy. Anyone wishing to make a donation to directly

assist in the efforts to help this community heal, please contact your Chapter Leader, Pat Pruss.

We all felt the pain in our hearts when we learned of the terrible tragedy in Newtown, CT last December where 20 young

school children and six adults (many with parents, grandparents, brothers and sisters) lost their lives to an unthinkable act

of horror. The Compassionate Friends has created an Online Remembrance Book where you can leave a message of love

and caring for the families left behind and for the town that is facing the holidays with an overwhelming sadness. The

Newtown Remembrance Book of Love, once completed, will be presented in person to Newtown for the families and

towns people to be warmed by the love of a caring world. To join what will be thousands in leaving your message, go to

www.compassionatefriends.org and click on Remembrance Book and leave your message. This simple act will mean so

much to those who are feeling the same pain that many of us have felt after the loss of a child, brother or sister, or grand-

child. The Compassionate Friends is a supporting family after a child dies. The families of Newtown and ALL families

Need Not Walk Alone in their grief journey as we pledge our support now and always!

Remembering Forever: Charlotte Bacon, 6; Daniel Barden, 7; Olivia Engel, 6; Josephine Gay, 7; Ana M. Marquez-

Greene, 6; Dylan Hockley, 6; Madeleine F Hsu, 6; Catherine V Hubbard, 6; Chase Kowalski, 7; Jesse Lewis, 6; James

Mattioli, 6; Grace McDonnell, 7; Emilie Parker, 6; Jack Pinto, 6; Noah Pozner, 6; Caroline Previdi, 6; Jessica Rekos, 6;

Avielle Richman, 6; Benjamin Wheeler, 6; Allison N Wyatt, 6 Adults: Rachel Davino, 29; Dawn Hochsprung, 47; Anne

Marie Murphy, 52; Lauren Rousseau, 30; Mary Sherlach, 56; Victoria Soto, 27.


New Year’s Wishes for Bereaved Parents

To the newly bereaved: We wish you patience with yourselves in the painful weeks, months, and even years ahead.

To the bereaved sibling: We wish you and your parents a new understanding of each other’s needs and the beginning of

good communication.

To those who are single parents: We wish you the inner resources we know you will need to cope, often alone, with your

loss.

To those experiencing marital difficulties after the death of your child: We wish you a special willingness and ability to

communicate with each other.

To those who have suffered the death of more than one child: We wish you the endurance you will need to fight your

way back to meaningful life once again.

To those of you who have suffered the death of an only child or all your children: We offer you our eternal gratitude for

serving as such an inspiration to the rest of us.

To those who are plagued with guilt: We wish you the assurance that you did the very best you could under the circum-

stances and that your child knew that, too.

To those who are deeply depressed: We wish you the first steps out of the “valley of the shadows”.

To all fathers and those of you unable to cry: We wish you healing tears and the ability to express your grief.

To those of you who are exhausted from grieving: We wish you the strength to face just one more hour, just one more

day.

To all others with special needs that we have not mentioned: We wish you the understanding you need and the reassur-

ance that you are loved.

Submitted by: Joe Rousseau, TCF National Office

A Letter to my Family and Friends

Thank you for not expecting too much from me this holiday season. It will be the first Christmas without our child and I

have all I can do coping with the “spirit” of the holiday on the radio, TV, in the newspapers, and in the stores. We do

not feel joyous and trying to pretend this Christmas is going to be like the last, will be impossible because we are miss-

ing one. Our family traditions will be too painful for us to continue this year. Please understand this and maybe some

Christmas in the future we will have these traditions again. Please allow me to talk about my child, if I feel a need.

Don’t be uncomfortable with my tears. My heart is breaking and the tears are a way of letting out my sadness. I plan to

do something special in memory of my child. Please recognize my need to do this in order to keep our memories alive.

My fear is not that I’ll forget, but that you will. Please don’t criticize me if I do something that you don’t think is nor-

mal. I’m a different person now and it may take a long time before this different person reaches an acceptance of my

child’s death…..

Thank you for not expecting too much from me this holiday season.

Love,

A Bereaved Parent, TCF Madison, WI


NATIONal news

Remembrance Ornaments (For a

Limited Time Only) These hand blown birthstone color "Love is Forever" Remem-brance Ornaments are a wonderful way to honor the memory of any child gone too soon. They convey the hue of traditional gem stone colors into the main color of the ornament and feature unique internal glass webbing for a remembrance memento you will always cherish. You have your choice of six inch or two inch diameter. These "Love is Forever" Remembrance Ornaments can only be ordered by calling The Compassionate Friends. All ornaments come individually boxed. Six inch ornaments are $35 and 2 inch ornaments are $25. Shipping and handling is (first ornament in

order) $10 for 6" and $8 for 2" plus $1-$2 extra for each additional ornament. Ornaments can only be shipped to United States and its territories and will be shipped via USPS Priority Mail. Call 877-969-0010 to order with your charge card (Visa, MC, Discover).

6" January (Garnet)

6" February

(Amethyst)

6" March 6

(Aquamarine)

6" April (Diamond)

6" May (Emerald)

6" June (Alexandrite)

6" July (Ruby)

6" August (Peridot)

6" September

(Sapphire)

6" October

(Tourmaline)

6" November (Yellow

Topaz)

6" December (Blue

Topaz)

2" January (Garnet)

2" February

(Amethyst)

2" March

(Aquamarine)

2" April (Diamond)

2" May (Emerald)

2" June (Alexandrite)

2" July (Ruby)

2" August (Peridot)

2" September

(Sapphire)

2" October

(Tourmaline)

2" November (Yellow

Topaz)

2" December (Blue

Topaz)


Newsletter Submittals: (We accept Photos!)

If you have articles, poems, or other non-copyrighted information for the newsletter, please sub-

mit information to Janet Sutton at the address listed below or e-mail to [email protected].

To honor your child on those special dates, we also accept a picture accompanied by a short article

about your child to feature in that newsletter. It is suggested that you e-mail your picture and

article to Janet Sutton at the above e-mail address. If you are unable to e-mail your photo,

please include a self-addressed stamped envelope (with the appropriate postage) so that your photo

may be returned to you. Please do not send your only copy of the photo.

We love to receive original articles or poems, but we do ask for permission to edit them if needed.

Although normally not a problem, pictures and articles are published on a first-come, first-serve

basis. The mailing address is:

The Compassionate Friends of Southern Maryland

P. O. Box 1427

Prince Frederick, MD 20678

Written articles, pictures and/or donations for a specific month must be received by the 20th

of the preceding month to ensure inclusion in the appropriate publication. For instance, if

your child’s birthday is in June, a donation or article in their memory should be received by

May 20 for inclusion in the June Newsletter. Please note that our newsletters are currently

published every other month and have usually “gone to press” by the second week of the

“even numbered” month.

To update your original submission for your child’s name in “Our Children Remembered”

page, complete and return the form below to Pat Pruss at the address above.

Name of Child/ren: ____________________________________________________________

Date of Birth:______________________ Date of Death: ___________________________

Name of Parents: ______________________________________________________________

Mailing Address:______________________________________________________________

City: __________________________ State: ____________ Zip Code: _________________

Telephone number: ______________________ E-mail address: _____________________

Siblings: ____________________________________________________________________

________ I/We would like to volunteer my/our time.

________ I/We are making this donation in memory of my/our child/ren.

________ Please acknowledge it in the newsletter in the month of ___________________

________ I/We do not want the donation acknowledged.

IS THIS A CHANGE OF ADDRESS ? CIRCLE : YES NO


SIBLING PAGE ... SIBLINGS WALKING TOGETHER ...

(Formerly The Sibling Credo)

We are the surviving children of The Compassionate

Friends. We are brought together by the deaths of our

brothers and sisters. Open your hearts to us. Sometimes

we need the support of our friends. At other times we

need our families to be there. Sometimes we feel we must

walk alone, taking our memories with us, continuing to

become the individuals we want to be. We cannot be our

deceased brother or sister; however, a special part of

them lives on with us.

When our brothers and sisters died, our lives changed.

We are living a life very different from what we

envisioned, and we feel the responsibility to be strong

even when we feel weak. Yet, we can go on because we

understand better than many others the value of family

and the precious gift of life. Our goal is not to be the

forgotten mourners that we sometimes are, but to walk

together to face our tomorrows as surviving children of

The Compassionate Friends

Reflections

With the death of my sister came some painful realizations: that life really

isn’t always fair or predictable; that sometimes even my best still isn’t good

enough; and that from the day of her death, the happy events in my life

would always be tinged with sadness. Despite the pain and loss, death has

also left me with some valuable lessons and precious gifts. As a result of

my sister’s death, I have a greater appreciation of life and a greater compas-

sion for those who hurt. I have learned to be a survivor and to have a suc-

cessful career and productive life in the face of tremendous grief and loss. I

have been gifted with good friends and special people to help me through

the rough times. But most of all I have been given the gift of time—time to

heal and time to replace those painful memories of death with priceless

memories of my sister’s life.

Submitted by: Cathy Schanberger, TCF Sibling

Chanukah Thoughts

At this season of lights, we re-

member the light you brought in-

to our lives:

The light of your laughter….

The light of your wit and intelli-

gence……

The light of your love………..

May the time not be distant when

the memory of these lights will

illumine our hearts and minds and

eradicate the darkness therein.

Submitted by: Stephanie Hesse,

TCF Rockland County, NY

local news 2013.pdfadult bereavement support groups calvert hospice 410/535-0892, (301) 855-1226...

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